Support for Indie Authors discussion

Bosses are absolutely the dumb. I think I'll get a sign made.

hmm Trying hard to find something to be mad at...Just can't seem to find anything.

Ok, let's see. I am mad at the lottery because it won't let me fulfill my dream. Wouldn't it be great to be able to open a publishing house for indies and offer free professional editing to all SIA authors.

So yeah I am mad! Take this lottery. *Bang* *BOOM* *Slam* *Crash* (Ok that was my imitation of the old Batman TV shows. Doesn't sound right though.) But I hope you get the idea. :P

Before I retired I had a picture pinned up of a cartoon mushroom with the caption, "I think I am a mushroom. They keep me in the dark and feed me bullsh*t."

Ken wrote: "Before I retired I had a picture pinned up of a cartoon mushroom with the caption, "I think I am a mushroom. They keep me in the dark and feed me bullsh*t.""

ROFL!

Those are a special kind of mushroom though. They're magic. :)

Charles wrote: "bosses are the dumb"

S.J. wrote: "Bosses are absolutely the dumb."

Mine just bought two of my books. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THREE!!! Cheapskate.

what a jerk. i hope he chokes on them.

it's raining outside and i'm depressed and i don't even f wanna open my gd manuscript today f bs

I wouldn't stand for that Dwayne. Stage a protest, put salt in his coffee or re-name all his files on his computer to names of the Ninja Turtles.

poop in his desk drawer

Change the name of the office WiFi to "FBI Surveillance Van" to get revenge on your bosses!

mine is set to Pretty Fly for a WiFi

And what the f**k is up with the weather this year? Be hot, be cold, but f***ing choose one already!

omg weather is so dumb don't even get me started

I haven't been able to write or edit at all this week because we have been a overnight babysitting a screaming baby that isn't even related to me.

And I haven't had a single subbing job call since Labor Day back in Sept. I've been living off Amazon and Etsy sales since then.

I have a headache and am broke.

*inserts various 'colorful language' in the appropriate places.

omfg when i'm trying to write and the dogs won't stfu

omg crying baby would be even worse

My flippin' allergies are kicking in :P

Charles wrote: "omg crying baby would be even worse"

She's teething and the crying just echoes in my brain.

Hiland's Teething Tablets may get you off of this thread...they worked well for us.

*slinks back to the corner*

Joe wrote: "Hiland's Teething Tablets may get you off of this thread...they worked well for us.

*slinks back to the corner*"

She's being returned today, but the Hiland's children cold medicine helped with the cold she brought with her and also helped a bit with the teething...until the cold went away...

I'll probably be back in a few days complaining about a cold and allergies.

Oh grr! Delayed reviews!! :-(
One reviewer has kindly sent me a link to her GR review; I can see it when I follow the link but when I look on my book it's not on there?!?

And someone else kindly let me know they've reviewed me on Amazon but that's not showing.

And yet another notified me of a review but it took three days to show up on Amazon.

Please let my reviews show!

Just why?? ;-(

#impatientauthor #patienceisavirtueidon'thave

Yeah, F**k Patience! What did she ever do? Oh, wait, you mean the waiting thing. Well, that can go f**k off as well!

Grrr. F-ing spam twitter followers. No I'm not giving you my hard-earned money so you can con me with followers who aren't quality.

I'm still not on the New York Times Bestseller List?

What the #@%$ is this? I wrote a @@&&!!! Everyone is supposed to #@&* buy it and make me rich. I wrote a @&$@ book, dammit!

Now, as for pooping in the boss's desk:
1. Pro: I share the desk with the boss and a lot of coworkers. He would never know who did.
2. Con: I share the desk with the boss and a lot of coworkers, so I would be pooping in my own desk. And then I would be mad at myself and would have to keep my distance.

Changing file names is actually a lot of fun. The last place I worked where I had my own desk I gave all the files bizarre and silly names just so when I wasn't there no one would use my desk as they wouldn't be able to find anything.

Except the one or two %@&holes who had the patience to change them all to the "right" names. &@#! them, anyway.

Kat wrote: "Charles, you getting mobbed in here?

o_O"

I get mobbed everywhere I go. That's why I stay home.

So funny Dwayne.
I learnt early on never to leave my PC unattended. One of my friends sent. "I want you badly" messages from my email to other employees, even the girls. It made for a very interesting work day. I was walking around wondering why some people were smiling at me all 'How you doin' and others were laughing at me. Then someone told me what he'd done. I guess I should use the term 'friend' loosely here.

Hahaha...yeah, flipping stupid jobs; how dare they pay us to do actual work in exchange for money to keep a roof over my head!? Don't they know I'm trying to write?? ;-O

Bless you SJ. I feel your pain!

You bugged me about my book when I was writing it. You NEEDED it.

You said you wanted to read it when I was editing it. You LONGED for it.

You showed up the day that printed copies finally came for my book. You BEGGED for it.

So I gave you my book, for free, and signed it and everything. You were so EXCITED for it.

It's been in your hands months now... Why haven't you even started to READ it yet?!

A few weeks ago I registered a business license as a small publisher. I agreed to help 2 other people to self-publish their books using me as their publisher, as I let them keep all their rights and yada yada, and we're basically just helping each other, right?

So now please stop effing bothering me about having the book available in print for the effing xmas sales if you haven't even effing given me an effing manuscript yet!!!

Dwayne wrote: "I'm still not on the New York Times Bestseller List?

What the #@%$ is this? I wrote a @@&&!!! Everyone is supposed to #@&* buy it and make me rich. I wrote a @&$@ book, dammit!

Now, as for poopi..."

Dwayne, Thank you for this post. It made me roar!! I feel your pain, my friend - and some. I'm still trying to digest my bitter pill over my family and friends utterly underwhelming response to my debut novel. Gits!!! :-) Have a good one.

C.B. wrote: "...It's been in your hands months now... Why haven't you even started to READ it yet?! "


I totally feel your pain. I had an book launch and sold 50 books. Not a single review.

I had lined up 8 advanced readers who PROMISED to read my book and post a review the first week after its release. Two of them actually did it (YAY!). One of them actually had the gall to ask me the other day for ANOTHER copy because they had lost the one I sent them. Oh, and could I help them get it on their kindle because they didn't know how. Sheesh! After a few deep breaths I replied that the easiest way for her to get it on her kindle would be to buy the book and left it at that.

Also I'm mad. Crazy mad! You'd think I was just giving away these electronics at the price you'll pay!

Come see CB at Mad CB's House of Discounted Electronics today before the men in white suits take me away!

Of all the things I could be mad about at this point, I think the biggest is how little friends support my efforts. I can't really blame strangers, even though i do my best to market my work, but friends, especially friends in the theatre niche for which I wrote my novel...it's a hard pill to swallow knowing they have no interest in my success.

My dog had the audacity to have to go take a dump in the middle of the night. We don't have a dog door, so guess which light sleeper here had the honors? I've been sleepy all day, because it's always hard for me to fall back asleep. Why did he need to go out in the middle of the night? Because my husband, who went to bed after I did, didn't let him out, dagnabbit! I would continue my rant, but I'm too sleepy.

I cannot stop thinking about Jar F**ing Jar Sh**ng Binks today. I hate Jar F**ing Jar Sh**ng Binks.

We waited, what seventeen, twenty, years for the next Star Wars and we got THAT and an kid that could not act. F**k the Phantom F***ing Menace.

B.B. wrote: "Hey Dwayne, I heard you like Star Wars. Have you seen the Phantom Menace yet? It's really good."

Wow that was quite a troll answer and to someone who wasn't Charles...

...Wait an effing minute...


CHARLES AND BB ARE THE SAME PERSON!!!1!!!ZOMG!!!

I'm just rubbing off on her.

I didn't let my water warm up long enough and now my tea is lukewarm. How am I supposed to melt the fat out of my arteries with lukewarm tea??? I might as well just drink ice water and allow all of that fat from my genetically engineered KFC to solidify! I should have just gone with the roach egg burito from Taco Bell.

KFC never gives me enough mashed potatoes to go with my gravy so F them.

We just figured out that the reason my dang dog keeps getting a bloated stomach is because she's been getting into the cat food. Dang it, dog!

And I just read a story in which someone has committed one of my most heinous writing pet peeves - describing a character one way only to totally describe him as the opposite later on. You just said he was scrawny! Why is he now suddenly buff! knock it off!

Cat food will turn your dog into a fat pig! Too much sugars!

Mary wrote: "expectations of witty and charming on twitter and blogs are evil. I hate trying to be cute. I'm not cute.
Just buy my *** books. Leave me alone. I don't want to chat, twitt, or tell you funny stori..."

That is SO how I feel, too!!! I am NOT very good with all the technology stuff, either. My real name is Mary, too!!

Christina wrote: "Okay that made me giggle, but I'm on the wrong thread, so I'm mad."

Hahahahaha! I think we're both thinking of the same other thread!

Tony wrote: "What?! I just edited this f***ing thing!
"

LMAO

Charles wrote: "Cat food will turn your dog into a fat pig! Too much sugars!"

I would like to say that I managed to get her access to the cat food blocked off, but I'd thought I'd had it blocked off beforehand. Dogs are unstoppable machines when it comes to getting what they want, even if it swells them up like a balloon :P

Yep. Had a friend lose one to antifreeze one time. :(

f writing f reading f being an author f it all

sorry i only drink iced sweet tea

hot tea = wtf bro

Eff a bunch of Facebook for showing my post to 11 people today.