Support for Indie Authors discussion

i was wondering if , when talking about the owner of someone's work and jobs ,if i can call him bread feeder , or is there another term ? thanks

Bread winner

thanks ,but i meant something like bread giver ? the person who gives ,the lord , not the husband or family provider .

Giver of daily bread? Provider of our daily bread? Perhaps you could include the actual sentence to give some context as to meaning.

ok i was writing a novel , there s a scene where the heroine is a captive guest in hero's house , she s a fraid of talking in the phone in front of his old house keeper because she believes she s loyal tohim like a dog because he is her ................. now i was hoping a native English speaker can find a word

I really think just saying 'sole provider' is best. Just my opinion - sounds like a great scene!

thanks sooo much for your help , i will do then , would do another favor and tell me if this part is written rightly

back as the dark angry giant approached her whispering In a piercing voice:
"I told you before you're no match for me, haven't I? huh?You dare

is the word giant and piercing ok for the hero ?
i get a bit puzzled with these too many expressions in English

'the dark, angry giant of a man'

'Whispering in a husky, menacing voice'

Piercing means screaming ir shrieking and one can't do that and also whisper.

:)

ok thanks a lot that was really a generous help

Glad to help - keep writing exciting stories :)

I was going to say sugar daddy or master for the first issue you had until you explained the context you were going to use it and now I'd say more of a guardian or custodian.
For the second issue, I agree with Tara about the wording. Piercing to me is a vocal sound that is clear and strident through the air, usually very loud. Whispering is quieter and muffled when you're trying to stop it from being heard.
To be honest, I'd drop both words and go with quiet and ominous. I get the impression she's backing away from him? So, to add that threat to the air have your large man creeping/edging towards her saying in a quietly ominous voice "....."

Oh, and I've just noticed that Tara also put ominous down too! haha So, two separate people putting the same word can't be wrong eh? :)

EA great minds? Lol

The great minds girls! Lol

"Howls" ;)

Best of luck with your upcoming book!

Umm...I'm assuming that was to me as my latest is due out on 14th?
So, thanks very much, Tara, I've got my fingers crossed for it!

EA
Yes :)

Thanks so much! :)

ok seems even better "edging "part , what s the dif between husky and quiet , omenous and menacing , large man seems better that giant right ?custodian could be used when talking a bout a master and a housekeeper?

Quiet just means low volume - not loud. Husky means not loud but with some extreme emotions - in this case anger or threat. Omenous and menacing can be used the same way. Larger man is nit as creative or interesting than saying 'giant of a man' or 'hulking nan' Hulking means large. Housekeeper is the better word. Custodians take care of public spaces, housekeepers take care of private spaces.

hi hope it s ok to add a question to the thread , if i'm a boss , i found an employer neglecting her work and just "slacking" here and there having silly talk and chat with others , what s that behaviour is called crackling ? slacking? what?




also when i describe someone who had been caught stealing or something can i say "her cries were stinged with shame " stinged is ok heer?

In the US we say "slacking off"

In the south we usually say slackin or slackin off....

ok thanks ,what about crackling , saying she was neglecting her work and crackeing

Susan wrote: "ok i was writing a novel , there s a scene where the heroine is a captive guest in hero's house , she s a fraid of talking in the phone in front of his old house keeper because she believes she s l..."

I would think "lord", "master", "boss", or "employer", depending on time frame and setting your story is in.

dalia wrote: "ok thanks ,what about crackling , saying she was neglecting her work and crackeing"

I have never heard of crackeing or crackling in that context. There are words like "busybody" for someone who is gossiping or having silly talk with others. Maybe you are thinking of the word "yacking"? "She was neglecting her work and yacking with the other ladies."

In the US crackling has nothing to do with neglecting one's work. I'm not assuming you are writing for the US market, only that I can only give you an American word to use.

ok thanks guess yacking is the right word , may be i should say salcking off and yacking

Slacking ogg and yacking is perfect!

when i describe someone who had been caught stealing or something can i say "her cries were stinged with shame "

is stinged avveptable ?here

I believe you may want to say 'she cried tears of stinging shame' or 'she cried in shame, her eyes stung with tears'

I think "tinged" is the word you're looking for, which is the same as "imbued" or "colored." But it seems a little awkward to me, a bit overused. You might want to re-word it.

Also, I've always seen it spelled "yakking," not "yacking." but both appear to be correct.

hi i was also wondering if i want to say a woman has a kinda masculine voice , not feminine ,rough ,harsh ,not soft like women ,is the word rough ok? how is th description ?

You could say 'deep' 'husky' or 'rough'

If a woman has a rough, harsh voice, say she has a rough, harsh voice.

“Use the right word, not its second cousin.” -- Mark Twain

I agree with Dwayne in principle, but if you want to play with the idea that a woman sounds harsh and unfeminine then you could try one/some of these.

Grating, unfeminine, jarring, dissonant, abrasive, unmusical...

If she sounds like a smoker, you could use "coarse". Another option is "gruff".

Just a reminder: The "author help" section is for posting questions you may have about your writing or writing in general, venting frustrations, etc. (See Ann's pinned post).

We have another place to post if you are seeking facebook followers and another if you are looking to hire an editor for your book. Thanks.

is this sentence acceptable.
the couple stood by the board rail peacefully watching the quiet water glittered by the sun shine .

Susan wrote: "is this sentence acceptable.
the couple stood by the board rail peacefully watching the quiet water glittered by the sun shine ."

You're missing a bit of punctuation. I would say something like:

The couple stood by the board rail, peacefully watching the quiet water glittering with sunshine.

You could also say 'in the sunshine,' 'from the sunshine,' or 'from sunshine.' Depends on how you want the sentence to flow. It's a bit long though, so you could even break it up and use the second sentence as a starting point for your next line.

The couple stood by the board rail, peacefully watching the quiet water. It was glittering with sunshine...

Again, totally dependent on your own rhythm.

Susan wrote: "is this sentence acceptable.
the couple stood by the board rail peacefully watching the quiet water glittered by the sun shine ."

I may be wrong, but that is how I would do it. The couple stood by the board (comma) peacefully watching the quiet water glitter (present tense) by the sunshine.

That's just me. Again, my birth language isn't English so hopefully someone can confirm or tell me I am full of bullshit. ;)

G.G. wrote: "Susan wrote: "is this sentence acceptable.
the couple stood by the board rail peacefully watching the quiet water glittered by the sun shine ."

I may be wrong, but that is how I would do it. The c..."

G.G., you're a crack up! You're not full of shit, that's correct, grammatically and otherwise. It's just a question of style and rhythm, and how the author wants their work to flow.

However, there are two things I'd like to point out.

The choice of wording and the structure of the sentence introduces ambiguity in whether the couple is standing by the sunshine, or if the water is glittering from the sunshine. Using the word 'by' implies causation/causality, but it can also imply location or positioning.

I wouldn't say that water glitters by sunshine, I would say: glitters from the sunshine, glitters with sunshine, or glitters in the sunshine. To me, using by just doesn't sound quite right if you are trying to say that the water is sparkling because the sun is shining on it.

I can't explain why this is, because the sun does cause the water to glitter. It may just be one of those quirks of English.

The ambiguity also exists because in saying by the sunshine, it implies the water is located near the sunshine. While this can make sense - for example, the scene may be set under cloudy skies, and there may be a single patch of sunshine right next to the water - it doesn't unless you make that statement prior, and make it clear that it's a ray of sunshine next to or near the body of water.

Long comment, but I hope that makes sense! I suppose these are just minor technicalities, but I hope they're helpful in some way.

Oh I have to agree with you. I noticed something sounded wrong but you nailed it with "Glitter by the sunshine". I also agree that "glitter in the sunshine" would be the best choice.

If you want to keep the image, you can always say, "set aglitter by the sunshine."

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictio...

Actually, I'm more inclined to say, "set alight by the sunshine."

Hi I'm kind of lost between some words smeared blotched splotched blotted. hope someone could help here's the sentence

(She came out from under the car with her nose blotted with char. When she tried to wipe the dirty blotch from her nose, she splotched her cheek and made it worse. She looked funny as she took the screwdriver from him and reprimanded with a gentle voice.
"I said the blue screwdriver. Not the red one")

Susan wrote: "Hi I'm kind of lost between some words smeared blotched splotched blotted. hope someone could help here's the sentence

(She came out from under the car with her nose blotted with char. When she tr..."

Nose splotched (or blotched) with smut. When she tried to wipe the dirty blob from her nose, she smudged her cheek and made it worse

Maybe....

Or, Nose splotched with smut as Jane said, but then: When she tried to wipe the blob from her nose (omit the redundant word dirty), she smudged her cheek.

OK thanks

Hi can I use the term heavy businessman to talk about an important businessman?

Marwajan wrote: "Hi can I use the term heavy businessman to talk about an important businessman?"

If I heard the words 'heavy businessman' as a descriptor, I would think they meant a fat businessman. It's hard without knowing context, but something like 'senior executive' would probably work better.

Hope that helps!

Marwajan wrote: "Hi can I use the term heavy businessman to talk about an important businessman?"

In short no. See Aislinn's post.

Heavyweight businessman you might just about get away with.

Me? I'd go for something like Giant of the Business World