The F-word discussion

We will be reading Jade Sharma's novel, Problems, for the month of April.

Has anyone read this? Planning to read this? Any thoughts on this to start is off? I admit I hadn't heard of it before it came up here, so I'm looking forward to getting my copy through the library and reading it with you all.

I am going to join in. Have not heard much about this book except from the publisher, but it sounds interesting.

I just started this today and cannot decide if it is good or just pretentious...The beginning is a bit all over the place, so we'll see.

Uh oh! Not a good sign when the Pretentious Alarm goes off, haha.

I know :) It's getting worse too. On one hand, I am - ok, you got an MFA, we get it. On the other hand, I found myself highlighting some sentences...so who knows?

Lol! I'm in the process of applying to an MFA program. One of my biggest concerns is walking out of the program smelling like I got an MFA and having that smell all over my writing. It is a very distinct sort of smudge it puts on some writing, isn't it?

I will say I am even more intrigued to read this now. Hurry up, library!

Since I haven't been able to get my copy from the library yet, I did a bit of "research" on the book. I came across this interview with the author. I especially liked this part:

Then somebody gave me a copy of “Fear of Flying” and I [thought]. “Oh my God, here’s a female narrator I can relate to because she’s smart, she’s funny, and she likes being smacked on the butt. She likes men.” I didn’t know that existed, where you could be a full feminist and like men.

I'm always a bit perplexed when I hear comments like that because it makes me feel we (as in society) has so much work to do if people still have this view of feminism as equating a dislike of men.

I'm also troubled a bit by the term "full feminist" and am trying to make sense of it. I think I can understand what Sharma meant, but it's another indication to me that people don't understand what feminism means. Do you feel there are degrees of feminism? I don't mean different styles of feminism that get tossed around (militant, radical, New, etc), because I feel those are all terms that alienate feminists from each other and aren't always helpful at the end of the day (which is another talk for another day, perhaps). I mean, do you think you can be a partial feminist? What would that look like?

El, I am with you - either you are feminist or you are not. I don't know what a "full feminist" will be. I like Roxane Gay's conception of the bad feminist - you are fully supporting women's rights but you still might do things considered un-feminist, i.e. listening to misogynist rap music, because that's life. We an't be perfect all the time. I get sad when people think you don't like men if you are feminist - the whole thing about feminism is being able to do what you want...

And to your comment, Sisa - very different writing in this book indeed. My back cover describes it as "Girls meet Trainspotting" and yep, it is.

Ugh, wow. Thanks for sharing that. I read those things and feel these celebrities are apologizing for being women in a way. They can't embrace it and almost seem to want to apologize for being seen as or for portraying strong women. I am sure it's a public relations thing too - since "feminism" is still a bad word in many circles a lot of people work really hard to show they don't subscribe.

Actually it reminds me of a lot of girls I have known in the past who claimed to be bad at math because it was unattractive to the boys in our class if they were "too good".

I really WAS bad at math, though. Guess what? I was still unattractive to the boys. :D

Ugh from me too! It is depressing that people STILL don't know what feminism is and succumb to the "being liked" mentality.
On the other hand, El, your message made me laugh out loud, so there's a positive :)

Alright, I finished this book! I wound up with a 3-star rating. Review here if anyone is interested.

I am curious to know people's thoughts on whether or not this is a feminist novel, or if Maya herself is a feminist.

I'm a bit conflicted myself, and I touched on some of it in my review. Maya doesn't like herself, she doesn't respect herself, she doesn't like women in general, I think. But she also nails at times how it is to be in relationships, how men sometimes treat women in relationships (romantic or otherwise). I found myself nodding along with some of the things Sharma wrote (through Maya's voice), though.

I think, however, I'm thinking of Sharma's interview that I posted above. If the author herself doesn't really understand feminism, is it possible to write a feminist book/character?

Just thinking out loud here. What do other think?

I also gave this 3 stars. I liked some of her writing, but it seemed more of a collection of thoughts on women's issues than a novel. I had huge problems (pun totally intended :) with the plot. I completely did not buy the moment her husband left her - of all the times he could have done done it, this seamed the least plausible, and a little too convenient to put her into a position where all the things in her life fall apart at the same time..The other part that really bothered me is how she just decided to quit drugs and voila, she was free. Especially after the actual detox, I found this completely unbelievable. I also didn't get her dislike for herself or other women, per your comment El. Could it be explained by her addiction, maybe?

Kay wrote: "I also didn't get her dislike for herself or other women, per your comment El. Could it be explained by her addiction, maybe?"

I'm not sure how I missed your comment, Kay. I apologize! (Even if it was meant to be rhetorical. :) )

I think Sharma wanted to explain it away by Maya's addiction, but I'm not convinced by that. That almost seems too easy, like the lazy way out. That's something I guess I would like to ask the author, if the opportunity ever presented itself.

Did anyone else read this book this month? Still looking for other thoughts on whether we think Maya was a feminist, or how the book touches on feminist topics. I'm still disappointed that Sharma didn't do it better, but I'm hoping there's someone here who has a different perspective to share.

Hi, Sisa. Thanks for all of your thoughts! (And congratulations on your new motherhood.) Glad you were able to grab a few moments to share your thoughts with us.

I haven't watched 'Girls' on HBO yet, and from what I've heard about it, I'm not sure I want to. But you do bring up a good point, and one I try to think about frequently, about likability, especially in female characters. It seems readers are generally harder on female characters that are unlikable, but then I think that's also true in real life, right? Strong women are considered harsh, loud women are considered shrill, flawed women are considered scum. So it's interesting that it's still easy for many of us to put that on fictional characters too. I try to catch myself and ask myself why I don't like a character. I think it's okay to dislike characters, and try not to hold that against an entire book. But I also think some unlikable characters are written better than others. There's unlikable and believable and unlikable and unbelievable. I'm not saying the character of Maya is entirely unbelievable, but there were aspects that didn't quite work for me. (Though I'm just one measly reader, hah.)

I think I was leaning towards what you said about this being a feminist novel because Maya calls out the problems that women face and deal with. I agreed with Maya/Sharma on that front and was glad to see it handled so refreshingly directly.

I also like your question: "Does a character HAVE to like herself and love and support all other women to be a feminist character?" Great question! Because I've heard arguments within feminist circles that we as feminist women need to love and support all women, regardless of their choices, or else we're not being feminist. I'm all for supporting everyone, but I don't have to like everyone. That's unrealistic, so it's unrealistic for me to expect fictional characters to love and support all women. I think when it comes to fiction, though, we read the words and can read between the lines a lot more easily (and therefore make it easier for us to judge) than in our daily real life experiences.

I don't have to like everyone, but I don't need to tear everyone down around me, and I think that's the distinction. I felt that Maya did want to tear others down, but I do agree with your assessment that it was likely due to insecurities within herself that caused her to do that. But, again, the judge within me when I read just wishes that Sharma had maybe expressed that a little more clearly. I think I have this concern that people will read this (and other books, or see characters like Hannah on 'Girls') and think it's okay to treat each other (women) like crap because we have these books and TV shows that perpetuate that sort of behavior. The older I get the more excited I am to see women who do lift each other up instead of tearing each other down, because we need more positive instances of that in our media. But that's probably a whole different topic. :)