Polls for Our Souls discussion

Am I the only one who feels guilty for reading so much? Like I'm not being social enough or putting myself out there to make friends and eventually be in a relationship or something like most people my age. I feel like such a loser; a loser that's going to be forever single and alone. I just hate people and love books!

OMG I feel that all the time, especially when I'm fingering about a book and my friends are like "Ew books make me feel dead inside"

*fangirling OMG lol

Yes. Oohmygosh. Books are so much better than people! But I love them too... but just some of them. And not as much...

I used to feel like that all the time a few years ago, but honestly, books are a lot better than people sometimes. And you can get to meet people through books, too.

Growing up with autism (though I didn't know I had it until I was diagnosed at 19) and years of social rejection/bullying made me give up even attempting to socialize or make friends. And what did I use to fill the void? You guessed it—books.

Ironically enough, the very people who rejected me socially would often question why I didn't socialize with others and instead spent my time with my face buried in a book. It took all my willpower and then some to not shout out, "You made me this way, asshole!"

Maura wrote: "*fangirling OMG lol"

LOL that autocorrect was priceless lol

Not really. I feel guilty sometimes when I'm not reading. I'm a huge introvert so I mostly prefer reading, gaming and watching movies by myself.

I'm also more into books than meeting with people in real life. I don't feel guilty about that, books are real too, aren't they?

I dont feel guilty at all.
I mean people who trash talk reading dont understand all the advantages; reading entertains you, it helps you understand the world, youre vocabulary grows, you dont mind that the bus\subwaytrain\train is late because you a) can read more in the book youre carrying or b) daydream about it, reading helps youre mood. Reading helps you understand that there are always more than one side to an argument.
Also reading can be very sosial I mean goodreads, booktube and library events are just some examples of that.
I say why listen to what you think you" should do" when you can continue doing what you enjoy. To force yourself to do something you dont like has little purpose. I have been through enough in my life that I dont prioritize what I dislike I do what I love or what I see the purpose off. If I dont want to sosilize for 5 out of 7 days then I wount.

I feel this sometimes when I play a lot of video games and do a lot of reading. But then I remember that I don't like people so then I don't feel so bad. lol.

Liv wrote: "Am I the only one who feels guilty for reading so much? Like I'm not being social enough or putting myself out there to make friends and eventually be in a relationship or something like most peopl..."

Apparently, you don't, Liv, but I understand you one hundred per cent. Sometimes it feel that way. And sometimes this sensation is good and others don't so much.
One of my dreams is when I get older, I'll gonna buy a cabin in remote place, where people aren't at sight in many miles away. Just me and my solitude. It's a beautiful dream, I know. XD

I don't feel guilty at all. I went through two or three years of not hardly reading at all, and then I made it a goal/resolution to read more this year because I love to read & I wanted to make time for it. I've read more books in each individual month this year than I read January through December in 2016. I missed it, and I'm so happy to be back at it & making it a priority.

Yes, there are times I read when I should be doing something else, and I have heard my son say something about me spending all my time reading, but I make a point to do things with him & my husband. I just read when he's watching something I don't want to watch on TV, or when he's reading, or when he's at baseball practice, or after he goes to bed. I only feel guilty if I'm neglecting him at the expense of the book. There have been a couple times I realized he was supposed to be in bed already & I hadn't noticed because I reading, or something, but he doesn't mind that anyway, because he gets to stay up late. I think I am actually feeling proud because he's seeing his mom read a lot and he will grow up knowing that adults read, too, not just kids.

No. First of all, I use most of my time alone reading that would have been time alone anyway. I'm an introverted extravert, and I need a couple days a week where I read during lunch instead of interacting with people.

Also, frankly, I'm a better friend for having read so much. Back in high school, I was my friends' romantic and mental health adviser because I'd read so much about everything from bipolar disorder to sex that I knew everything despite having zero life experience.

I also just hate the logic that reading is somehow ruder than other activities. If everyone in my group is on the bus on their phones not talking, why is taking out my book suddenly different? People talk about reading in social situations or instead of social situations the same way they talk about cell phones—people complain that the phone has taken away the possibility of talking to people on the bus, as if people actually ever did that, when 20 years ago it was just a bus-ful of people reading newspapers.

Liv wrote: "Am I the only one who feels guilty for reading so much? Like I'm not being social enough or putting myself out there to make friends and eventually be in a relationship or something like most peopl..."

I don't feel guilty for choosing reading over socializing sometimes. It can be more rewarding. However, I don't read for hours on end every single day (more like 30 minutes at most), so I don't feel like reading rules my life; it's just a big part of my life. Maybe if I read for huge chunks of each day I'd feel guilty or uneasy.

Leah Rachel wrote: "I also just hate the logic that reading is somehow ruder than other activities. If everyone in my group is on the bus on their phones not talking, why is taking out my book suddenly different? People talk about reading in social situations or instead of social situations the same way they talk about cell phones—people complain that the phone has taken away the possibility of talking to people on the bus, as if people actually ever did that, when 20 years ago it was just a bus-ful of people reading newspapers."

True, reading in front of other people vs. using a phone in front of other people is equivalent, but they're both rude depending on the context.

Nope never. I'm an introvert so I don't like people in general. I'm skipping a party on Saturday to do Dewey's 24-Hour Readathon so...yep that's where I stand. lol.

To me books make my mind travel to another world that is so much more interesting and sometimes better than mine, they calm me down when things get crazy in life. As long as I have books I'm okay!

Why on earth should I feel guilty for reading? I’m an introvert, I don’t like socializing most of the time. With a few exceptions (friends, you know who you are) it just makes me anxious/tired/etc. Besides the people who go yOu ReAd ToO mUcH are probably the same rude obnoxious people I don’t want to talk to anyway. *shrugs*

I realize I probably sound like a big grump, but I’m not going to apologize for my interests just because some people may not like it. Same as when people are judgey about fashion sense or anything else. At least all of us book readers aren’t going around playing Fortnite or whatever with the sound on while eating in a restaurant or something. A person reading shouldn’t be bothersome in any way, it’s a quiet activity. And heck, sometimes my sister and I are “silently socializing” reading books in the same room together. I find that fun.:)

Never feel guilty for reading; the people who would criticize you for that are the same people who would spend an entire trip on their phones and don't know how to talk to other human beings. Also, back in the 1990's people DID TALK ON THE TRAIN. First cell phones, then smart phones destroyed the socialization that used to go on. Reading is an activity as ancient as civilization; being addicted to your phone is far more recent rude addiction. If reading ticks people off, tell them that being on their phones ticks YOU off and flash them the one finger salute.

I have never felt particularly guilty for reading, but I have to admit that once I became a librarian, I worried about it even less, because I could justify it as work-related! Now I teach Young Adult Lit and Readers' Advisory to grad students, and write a blog on which I publish book reviews, so all that reading not only paid off, but is funneled into a purposeful use. So when I look around at the chaos in which I live and then go plop myself down and read instead of doing something about it, I can say Yes, but I HAVE to finish this so I can write a book review for the blog, right?

And there's nothing wrong with preferring books to people. They give you a sense of community without talking back or ruining your buzz, they're available at 3:00 in the morning when you are the only one up and needing something to do, and they repay your attention with dividends such as spelling, grammar, a literate use of language, and an appreciation for a good story.

Rachel Adiyah wrote: "Never feel guilty for reading; the people who would criticize you for that are the same people who would spend an entire trip on their phones and don't know how to talk to other human beings. Also,..."

What if they are reading an Ebook? Some people have medical issues and are unable to hold/read a physical book but can read books via Ebooks. And Ebooks can be read on people's phones. Those people on their phones may be reading a book just like you are.

To answer the original question though I don't know why someone should feel bad for reading. Books are so much better than people! Books are always there for you. Yea sometimes it's rude but that depends on the situation. Books are awesome, people suck.

I say never feel guilty for reading. That goes for never feeling guilty for liking the types of books you read, even tho it might not be someone else's cup of tea.

I prefer books over people but then again I am never alone enough sometimes to get a chance to read. So then I feel guilty owning so many books that I have yet to read and still buying more.

When I do go out, whether it is to run errands or to socialize with other people I am counting down the minutes till it is time for me to go home. lol

You introverts who hate people: Maybe you need to find new company! :D (I'm introverted too, so I understand needing time alone.)

I'm not being serious when I say I hate people, not entirely. People are just draining. Friends are great socializing is just draining and need time alone to recharge. I live with my spouse and furbabies so I have company. Me and the hubby are generally both doing our own things lol. I mostly read, he mostly games.

I'm 31 years old, married, have a 20 months old daughter and a part time job. And I read. I'm not really great at socializing and I don't have many friends (and I don't need many friends either). I don't need to party (never did).
My mum taught me that every person is it's own and if I don't want others to interfere with my life and tell me what to do, I shouldn't do it with others. That's how I learned to just do whatever I want. And I found a guy who accepts that I mostly read in my free time. If I'm given the choice between meeting friends and reading, most of the time I choose reading.

Do what you want, with whom you want to do it. Wanting to be alone or to stay at home and just read, is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn't make you a looser, it makes you who you are and that is never something you should feel like you have to hide it.

Caroline wrote: "You introverts who hate people: Maybe you need to find new company! :D (I'm introverted too, so I understand needing time alone.)"

Meeting new people is worse than hanging out with friends. Sooo no. We like being alone in our own bookish worlds.

Elyse wrote: "Caroline wrote: "You introverts who hate people: Maybe you need to find new company! :D (I'm introverted too, so I understand needing time alone.)"

Meeting new people is worse than hanging out wit..."

Elyse--and anyone else who took offense at what I said--I truly was half-joking and didn't mean for it to sound like I was passing judgment. Tone and body-language are missing from online communication, so benefit of the doubt is necessary. As I stated, I also am introverted and find socializing very draining, and I dislike large parties and avoid those whenever I can. However--this is where the "half" part of "half-joking" comes in--when I genuinely enjoy the company and what we're doing together, I don't mind. Yes, I still feel tired at the end, not energized like an extrovert would, but I don't feel like I wasted my time or that I'd rather have spent that time alone. Good company makes a difference.

That's all I meant. I'm clarifying my words; I recognize that each person is unique and that my experience is not how it'll be for everyone.

I used to feel like this a little when I have been too much into books and avoiding socializing. But I do miss my Book-Time after starting medical studies and a relationship. I rarely find time for reading now and sometime I feel a little betrayal towards my books. I hope they won't think I ditched them haha. (I still make time for books thou, just not the same way before)

No. I'm pretty sure there are some people who have the same experience as you.