SciFi and Fantasy Book Club discussion

I'm an amateur author (i.e. never written anything before) and I'm struggling to get any feedback (even negative) on my work in progress.
https://www.wattpad.com/story/178664741

I've tried posting on Goodreads and Reddit but I'm lucky if 5 people see the post and of those nobody goes on to read it (according to the Whatpad analaytics). Is there some glaring problem that's stopping people from reading it?

It's very much written to my tastes (e.g. exposition-heavy) but I was hoping I could find an audience with the same interests. If it's simply too poorly written for these sites is there somewhere better for it?

Hi Possibly Plausible! Your scenario is interesting, which is a great start. You have a story worth telling. When it comes to feedback on the text, may I suggest some things I do to give myself feedback?

Get the computer to read it aloud to you. Writing software, including the latest version of MS Word, have a computer voice that will read text. Sit there listening, with nothing in your hands. Every time your mind wanders, take a note of where in the text the computer was. That will let you know the section needs more work.

Try giving your text to someone whose feedback terrifies you. Someone you know is brutally honest. Then after you've given the text to them, and your heart is racing as you wonder whether they will like it or not, sit down as if you were preparing to read someone else's novel. Read the text yourself, imagining this is someone else's work. Look for all the things your brutally honest person will pick up on.

(Important tip: To keep your brutally honest person happy, immediately call them and tell them not to read it until after you've fixed everything you know they will find.)

Finally, the best advice I have ever received about writing is "Don't tell me how you feel. Make me feel it with you." Have a good think about what these words mean to you, and do some research on motivation reaction units.

I hope these three suggestions are of value to you, and give you somewhere to go with your text.

Looking at it quickly, I don’t think it’s terribly written. It’s better than a lot of other stuff I’ve seen on WattPad.

One pointer/critique I would give would be to watch your passive language. I noticed it a few times. Passive: “I was seeing” active: “I saw”. It’s a small easy thing that makes a big difference. Grammarly can actually help with that.

It takes a lot of work to get people to read your stuff on WattPad. I think a lot of what gets read on there is romance, and is read and written by teenagers. (These we’re my experiences a couple years ago anyway.)

In order to get anyone to read it you have to be willing to go read and comment on their stuff in return, network with others, make connections, and then they still might not reciprocate.

You’re better off joining a writer’s circle or finding a good critique partner if you want honest feedback. That’s just my two cents though as someone who didn’t like WattPad all that much for the couple months I was on there.

You have some good feedback above. Just to add to that:

Try taking out adjectives (especially multiples like "unremarkable modern hell"), removing fancy words (like "festooned") and adverbs. Their overuse weakens the tension and for scifi horror you need tension. Also, don't use the and / or slash. It's OK for posting, other stuff, or highly stylized fiction (if you want to try that), but not for this and especially not right at the start.

What I wanted to know right off the top: what flight, the destination; does he remember getting on or not? I was looking for that and while it might come up later, I wanted to know it then. The character also seems like a complainer and that's because he is interpreting everything instead of showing it.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

Sorry, but I don't read horror or I'd take a look!

> Try giving your text to someone whose feedback terrifies you. Someone you know is brutally honest.

@Helena. I wonder about this. I tend to be brutally honest so people don't generally want my opinion.

@ Possibly. I looked at the beginning of the story and ... you probably don't want my opinion.

Anyway, there actually is a website devoted to critiquing primarily science fiction, fantasy, and horror: www.critters.org

It doesn't cost anything although they do accept donations. There tends to be a backlog so it might take a few weeks for your story to move up to the active queue.

In one of the discussion threads there is a topic, interview with Ray Bradbury (video). He mentions the importance of starting with short stories before tackling a novel. It might be helpful to hear what he has to say. One problem I see is people jumping into writing a novel without having any writing background. They often end up frustrated. Also, reading is helpful. Stephen King says if you don't have time to read, you don't have time to write. It's easy to have tunnel vision when writing. So don't stop reading. :)

B.A. wrote: "> Try giving your text to someone whose feedback terrifies you. Someone you know is brutally honest.

@Helena. I wonder about this. I tend to be brutally honest so people don't generally want my opinion..."

Hi B.A.! Yes, you are so right, it is very hard to get feedback from someone who is brutally honest. I hate it . . . which is why I always give my writing to my brutally honest person. Because without him, my writing would be . . . not very good is probably the best way to put it!

But what I have found for myself is just the thought of giving him something to read is enough for me to take off my rose coloured glasses and really have a good look at the writing.

It is always hard getting the brutally honest feedback, especially when your book is your baby. But if you want to get a good result, that is worth everyone's time, it is so worth it.

@Possibly - before I gave my feedback above, I really should have asked what the purpose of your writing is. Do you want to sell, or is it for the love? Feedback changes based on the answer to that question. If you want to sell, your brutally honest person is worth twice their weight in gold.