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Writing Process & Programs > Format of special dialog

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message 1: by Caroline (new)

Caroline Walken (carolinewalken) | 28 comments My WIP will include the internal dialog of someone with psychic ability. The question is as a reader; what makes this work for you?

Example; the MC has mentally connected to his girlfriend; he feels her worry and anguish for him.
'He stretched his mind; finally, he feels the sun warming the side of her face. Wayne wished that in these visions, he could reach out and touch her, feel her soft skin.'

What is your Vote?
A - standard text with the paragraph separated by asterisks. (***)
B- italicized text with the paragraph separated by asterisks. (***)
C- you suggest how it should appear!

I'm in editing mode; it's effortless to make a change that works best for readers!


message 2: by Michael (new)

Michael Lewis (mll1013) | 30 comments I can understand using asterisks to note each paragraph while you're writing and editing in order to track and modify the style up to the very end. However, I would prefer just having the italics in the end product with the asterisks removed. I worry that the asterisks may be an distraction or annoyance to the reader.


message 3: by B.A. (new)

B.A. A. Mealer | 975 comments Actual internal dialogue should be in italics. Asterisks usually denote a new time, setting, or POV. The sentence you wrote isn't really his thoughts so you don't need to do a thing with that. If it would have read:
He stretched his mind; finally he feels the sun warming the side of her face. "I wish I could reach out and touch her, feel her soft skin."
The portion in the quotes would the italicized without the quotes as internal dialogue. When you add Wayne wished, it isn't dialogue, is it tell the reader what he thought.


message 4: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
I agree with Michael and B.A. What you quoted were not his thoughts, but the narrator telling us what he's thinking. If you were to show his actual thoughts, italics would be enough. The asterisks are overkill.


message 5: by Phillip (new)

Phillip Murrell | 427 comments I also vote for italics use.


message 6: by Caroline (new)

Caroline Walken (carolinewalken) | 28 comments Thank you everyone! Tried this while editing the rough draft, and it flows very well!


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