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Emily thought magic only existed in the books she read in her mother's shop. When she is enlisted to help uncover who tried to kill a princess of another world, she discovers the Four Regions - a realm where magical creatures escaped human persecution. Emily also discovers the power, passion, and friendships she had always secretly craved.
The determined demon who guides her.
The irresistible vampire who entices her.
The excitable demoness who supports her.
The quiet elf who understands her.
Now Emily must unmask a murderer while wearing a mask herself, resisting a growing temptation that could ruin her newfound family.

My first book, so any notes are welcome!

I think this makes the subject matter and tone clear. I would only suggest making that first sentence more active. Plus it seems a bit long to me, but I could be wrong. Maybe something like "Emily thought magic only existed in the books in her mother's shop." and "When ___ enlists her to uncover who tried the princess of another world, she learns those books she loved to read were more than just stories."

Thanks Jeffrey! That is really helpful, I love your suggestions!

I don't think I have anything to add that Jeffrey didn't already say. It is just that first part that seems a little clunky and long. Anyway, sounds like an interesting story. Reminds me a little of The 10th Kingdom mini-series, actually.

I think it's good and you could go with it. Some additional thoughts are:
Is there a reason to add it's her mother's shop? It is descriptive but if her mother doesn't play a part in the story, then you might not need it.
Why was Emily enlisted to help? Is there something special about her or was it a random selection.
This may be evident by the cover, but why does she have to wear a mask? (I probably wouldn't ask this if not for the current corona plague, but masks are sort of prominent right now.)

The blurb brings to mind, for me anyway, Inkheart, and that blurb shows the connection as to how the MC is drawn into the world.

You’re presenting information and detail about the story, complete with what amounts to bullet-points. Problem is, you do that from a point of having full context for what you’re referring to. But from a reader’s viewpoint: Why do I want a list of characters for a story I know nothing about? You say, for example, that the “demoness” supports her. How, why, and in what? For what? And in terms of this story, what’s a demoness? Without knowing that, it lacks context. She’s excitable? What does that mean, and why does that matter to the story? You know. But you’re writing this for people who don’t.

You say that Emily discovers power? What kind of power is critical to the story (electrical, magical, or dictatorial), but you give the potential reader no hint. In this “magical land, is there danger? Must she struggle against those who threaten her? Fight an evil overlord? Rescue a prince who’s been turned to a red necktie? Without even a hint of what she faces…

My point, is that all stories are about things going wrong, and problems that our protagonist must address. But you don’t mention the problems she must overcome—the adventure and danger the reader will share.

The thing to remember is that the blurb isn’t a report. Like the story, it must have an emotional focus that will pull the reader in, not provide explaination. In the story you have about three pages to make the reader say, “Hmm…. Tell me more.” The blurb has one.

So it has to hit the reader with an emotional bang. Think in teams of a) Whose skin do we wear? b) What do we face and why does it matter? c) Why are we best suited to do it? d) What happens if we fail?

The Query Shark site can be a huge resource so far as what matters in a blurb, and what hits the reader. It’s aimed at query blurbs, but the one for the reader has the same job, so…

Hope this helps.

I second M.L. My first question was "why would she be enlisted?".
I really have no clue from the blurb, and from the first sentence it sounds like she's a total newbie at this. It sounds like an unlikely situation, to say the least.

Also, friendship with demons and vampires? Most of us would run away as fast as our legs would carry us. Many stories don't portray elfs as particularly nice to humans either. Perhaps you'd like to add why these very unlikely companions have joined her entourage? Something along the "creatures of the dark have been slandered" stuff? Or maybe when you said "persecution", you may want to add "unjust".

Sounds interesting as a story, as long as you can convince people that demons and vampires are something you'd want to have around.

Thanks, everyone for the advice! I think I'm sticking with this general format I had with the suggestions from Jeffrey. I had already been advised that since my first chapter has so much exposition, and the book overall is relatively short, the blurb might be better as a teaser since the answers to most of the questions posed become evident almost immediately.
Also, M.L., I'd considered even renaming the book due to the whole "Mask" thing with actual masks, but it is "Mask" in the same way it is "Unmask", to conceal or reveal, not to literally put on a mask. I decided to stick with it, though, since (spoilers) it becomes the character's name in the end due to a naming convention in the region she travels to.

I need more. It's all vague. Example: "Now Emily must unmask a murderer while wearing a mask herself, resisting a growing temptation that could ruin her newfound family."

Why does she need to wear a mask? What temptation? What family? The elf, vampire, etc?

...
I could have sworn it was a long novel or an epic, given the topic.

It's a good description, it says enough to get my interest.