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Blurb Workshop > Blurb Help- YA Fantasy- Strange Worlds

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message 1: by Hailey (new)

Hailey Gonzales (hailey_gonzales) | 6 comments Jensen Edward Stringfellow lived a pretty normal life. Well, as normal as a superpowered, adopted son of thieves could live. At sixteen, his only problem should’ve been what path he wanted to go on. A law-abiding citizen like his foster parent Martin wanted him to be or a thief like the rest of his family.

But then things quickly become NOT NORMAL, a high standard even for him. Not only does Jensen find himself in an alternate universe but he’s also the target of the Overlord, a man who wants to conquer the multiverse and can only do so by killing all versions of Jensen. And out of the 215 worlds in the multiverse, only two Jensens remain.

With no options left, Jensen does what Martin would do. He helps. Along for the ride with a ragtag team of rebels, he travels across the world in search of a magic crystal said to have the power to defeat the Overlord, but might not even exist.

Failure isn’t an option, the multiverse is at stake.


Thanks for the feedback!


message 2: by B.A. (last edited Jul 07, 2021 09:41AM) (new)

B.A. A. Mealer | 975 comments 'he wanted to go on.' Change that to 'wanted to take.'

'...Martin wanted him to be...' Change to 'Martin encouraged him to be.

'a high standard even for him' This doesn't make sense. You might want to cut it. It won't change the meaning of the blurb and it is confusing. since we don't know what his standards are.

Does he travel across one world or several? I'm thinking multiple so change to worlds.

other than those couple of changes, looks good to go.


message 3: by Hailey (new)

Hailey Gonzales (hailey_gonzales) | 6 comments B.A. wrote: "'he wanted to go on.' Change that to 'wanted to take.'

'...Martin wanted him to be...' Change to 'Martin encouraged him to be.

'a high standard even for him' This doesn't make sense. You might wa..."


Thanks for the feedback!


message 4: by Anne (new)

Anne Schlea | 41 comments A law-abiding citizen like his foster parent Martin wanted him to be or a thief like the rest of his family.

Fix the tense - "Martin wants him to be" it can't be past tense because the decision isn't made yet


"Not only does Jensen find himself in an alternate universe but he’s also the target of the Overlord, a man who wants to conquer the multiverse and can only do so by killing all versions of Jensen. And out of the 215 worlds in the multiverse, only two Jensens remain."

I think there's too much information here. I feel like you could stop this after "he's also the target of the Overlord." Let us find out the rest once we get into the book. It feels like too much complicated information for the back of the book.


message 5: by Phillip (new)

Phillip Murrell | 427 comments It reminds me of the Jet Li Jason Statham movie The One. It's a fun premise that isn't used as much as I'd like.


message 6: by M.L. (new)

M.L. | 1129 comments I like the blurb.


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