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Tuesday Reading Kaffeeklatsch 11/9/21
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$650 / week for a rental car!? Wow! Luckily I will be local and minimal travel. 1 hour away tops. I too would prefer driving. The airport (and packing) has to be a nightmare this time of year. I have been sick for almost a week. Initially it felt like a cold, I took a couple days off work and slept. In the past this has worked to knock it out. Felt 95% Saturday and Sunday and now worse than before. Throat hurts really bad but I have no fever and I am coughing a little so I think not strep? I took an over-the-counter test and COVID shows negative. There's just all kinds of shit going around here. There is a guy I work with who didn't call in sick once and has been wondering around like a bee pollinating flowers and I am sure he gave it to me. So infuriating. You are not essential! We can afford to miss you a day or two, or honestly forever.
Asshole was overheard telling a coworker that "I never call in sick. Just come in get everyone else sick." Like WHAT!? Who says that?
Finished a couple books while I was off so luckily it hasn't hurt my reading too much. I do feel very tired, hardly motivated to do much other than lay in bed :(
Meli wrote: "$650 / week for a rental car!? Wow! Luckily I will be local and minimal travel. 1 hour away tops. I too would prefer driving. The airport (and packing) has to be a nightmare this time of year. I ..."
NYC is always higher priced. I had heard that since pandemic, car rental prices had skyrocketed across the country. When checking rental prices outside NYC, even local to where I am going (I can get most of way by train, but still need car while there), the cost was still $550 for the week, and I still would have to pay for trains and cabs.
That is way highr than normal.
Plus since people started to travel a bit, there is a severe shortage of rentals because the rental companies sold of most of their cars rather than have them sitting in lots and garages.
@Meli - ugh, you are so right about people who pride themselves for coming into work sick. Because we all hibernated last winter, our resistance to colds and flus and other germs are down.
Keep resting and drink lots of water.
Yeah, I had a week-long cold the week before last. Lots of people with the flu and colds. Luckily my colleagues and I agree to stay home if we are sick. The patrons at the library is another matter ...
Get Well Soon Meli. It was so nice last year not getting an upper Resp infection or the flu. I am the person who gets sick and is down for weeks-basically planning on continuing to wear a mask indefinitely-LoL
I hope you feel better soon, Meli. (I'm retired now, but remember well how co-workers would come to work sick. I hated that.)
I agree that car rental prices are up everywhere and I bet a lot of New Yorkers want to get out of the city for the holiday. The rates are probably always higher on holidays anyway. It will be worth it to you!I haven't had a cold since 2019 and am hoping to keep it that way for a while. I am going to keep wearing a mask in grocery stores or other larger places and on airplanes, whenever I take one again.
I did enjoy going to the opera. It turned out to have lots of empty seats, which is kind of too bad. It felt safe because they required masks and vaccination proof. I also ate in a restaurant last week for the first time since last summer's brief respite. It wasn't crowded either, which helped. I still might hesitate to go into a really crowded space with people eating and drinking right next to me, even though I got a booster 2 weeks ago.
Yes we had to rent a car this week and it is almost double what we paid last year. And it is this itty bitty economy model that looks like one of those cars 100 clowns might climb out of. Took Miss Lola for ride yesterday-her head out one back window, the tail out the other
Joanne wrote: "Yes we had to rent a car this week and it is almost double what we paid last year. And it is this itty bitty economy model that looks like one of those cars 100 clowns might climb out of. Took Miss..."🤣🤣🤣🐕🚗😅😅😅😅
I think the "compact" I have supposedly reserved is about that size!
Robin P wrote: "I agree that car rental prices are up everywhere and I bet a lot of New Yorkers want to get out of the city for the holiday. The rates are probably always higher on holidays anyway. It will be wort..."Basically, I am getting a week's vacation for $650 and a tank of gas.
We are heading to NYC for Thanksgiving Weekend, as we always do. But this time, my glorious middle and I are heading a few days earlier to Ohio, and meeting the crew in NY. We are going to look at The Ohio State and Miami University of Oxford. We love the city on Thanksgiving weekend, and always, the kids meet up with their camp friends, which is special and lovely. Theresa, where do we find the new Little New York, or Ny Island, or whatever its called? I definitely want to check that out!
Amy, I went to Miami University in Oxford, myself. My brother is a graduate of Ohio State. They are very different schools, yet both very good. I'll be interested in your reactions.
Amy wrote: "We are heading to NYC for Thanksgiving Weekend, as we always do. But this time, my glorious middle and I are heading a few days earlier to Ohio, and meeting the crew in NY. We are going to look at ..."Amy - google it - it is on West Side somewhere...off Chelsea maybe? It is timed ticketed entry due to COVID so need to plan ahead. I am sure it has a website. Or check nycgo.com.
Note the High Line is also timed ticketed entry. Even though no cost, still have to reserve and download tix for a lot of places.
@Joanne - same! I cannot just get a cold and go about my business, it really takes all the life out of me. Thank you, all, for the well wishes. I am drinking lots of water, taking mucinex and laying in bed as much as possible *^_^*
Meli wrote: "@Joanne - same! I cannot just get a cold and go about my business, it really takes all the life out of me. Thank you, all, for the well wishes. I am drinking lots of water, taking mucinex and lay..."
Cuddling with Ornette, one assumes.
That is so so good to know! I didn't realize that about the High Line either!
Holly, I actually have quite a good feeling that he will like Miami. We met a new freshman from Miami at our Emory visit, and we really liked her and all her energy. She even gave us her phone number for when we tour there. I think it sounds like a great place. I want him to also see some relatively smaller schools.
Theresa wrote: "Cuddling with Ornette, one assumes."That too!
Unfortunately he is not allowed in the bed so he is loyally as close as possible next to the bed :)
Amy wrote: "That is so so good to know! I didn't realize that about the High Line either!"You should check requirements for everywhere you want to go -- even many of the museums have timed entries pre-scheduled because there are still COVID limits on occupancy. And destination stores too - the new Harry Potter Store in the Flatiron district has timed entry - it's a whole process - check the website.
Also the Thanksgiving Parade is fully in person but again, preset ticketing and entry. Ditto on the inflation the night before.
Plus remember to have proof of vax to eat inside restaurants or got to theater.
You will have to pre-plan a lot more than in the past. You can do it last minute in many cases but you still have to check in advance, not just show up.
The museums up here used timed tickets (pre-covid) for really popular new exhibits and it worked out very nicely. We have family coming up for Thanksgiving, and my niece is bringing her boyfriend. My husband loves to play tour guide, so we'll have to figure out what to do on Black Friday. (We never shop then.) I'd prefer to play board games and eat leftovers. One year we played Cards Against Humanity - it's so embarrassing to play this with your kids. It's very crude but funny.
Amtrak has been advertising heavily this week - for trips between Buffalo and New York City. Every time I took Amtrak it was crowded and several hours late. I can't imagine anything worse right now. The airlines have done a lot to improve the ventilation, and it's a short flight. I'd prefer to drive but parking in the city is so expensive, and we wouldn't use the car anyway.
My daughter had already planned to come for Thanksgiving and we just found out that my son has the day after off -first time in many years, because he works in retail, so he will come too. My kids really enjoy seeing each other and it has been hard because of covid and the distance between them (10 hours). We are about halfway between so it works out. I have to clean and declutter before they come, did pretty much nothing for 6 weeks after injuring my ankle, no longer have that excuse!
Robin - good luck - you only have a few days. Get busy. Glad it is you and you will have the joy of your children. My son knows that my home is stuffed and full of clutter so he is never surprised. How joyful that your two will have some share time. peace, janz
@Robin - what joyous news! That will be such a delightful time for all!I think this Thanksgiving will be a time for many to spend a few days with those they have been unable to visit for too long. My visit is to friends I have not seen in 2 years.
Robin, that’s so wonderful! I’m thrilled for you all.We (Darling Middle Shain and I) are spending this VeteransDay on a plane to visit Penn State. Coming back this evening. In and out. Brought just one book. We will see if I can get through some of it on the four planes!
Like everyone else this will be the first holiday in 2 years we all get together. My relationship with my siblings is complicated, but surprisingly enough I am looking forward to the Thanksgiving table. Keeping finger's crossed that it goes well enough that our Christmas gathering will also be something I look forward too.Robin, so nice that both your kids will be able to come home! The cleaning has purpose for you, so that will make it easier!
I received my booster shot this evening! Glad that is done.
Booknblues wrote: "I received my booster shot this evening! Glad that is done."You are so right. We all need to urge others to protect themselves and others. I live in D. Trump's state of residence and I am amazed at how many people will NOT get the vaccine. I left the eye doc's office because there was no one there who had been vaccinated and could treat me. Later, I got a letter cancelling my reappointment - said there was no guarantee that I could be treated by people who were vaccinated. Oh, well. And I left my derma doc's office because the three women in the front office had not been vaccinated and thought there was no problem. I am 78 years, an insulin dependent diabetic and there is no problem. They are all wearing cute cloth masks. No 95 or 94. These people could kill me. Thanks for getting the shot. peace, janz
Peacejanz wrote: "Booknblues wrote: "I received my booster shot this evening! Glad that is done."You are so right. We all need to urge others to protect themselves and others. I live in D. Trump's state of residen..."
In my part of the state of California, people are pretty much provax and pro-mask. I find it hard to imagine it different, but I can see that it is in other parts of the country and even among my family it is different.
I was happy to see quite a few children getting the vax while I was there.
Take care and be careful as best you can.
I got my booster and most people I know who were eligible and vaccinated have already done so as well. I read states where people are hesitant to get vaccinated boosters are high, meaning all the people eligible for boosters in states where there is vaccine hesitancy are getting it. @Peacejanz - ugh, sorry to hear that :( Not being to get proper health care in a safe environment is just terrible. All doctor offices I've been in here in Indiana require masks and temp checks and everyone must swap out their mask for the ones the office provides, I think the N95.
Getting my booster today.Hard to comprehend that there are doctors in the world who are not keeping their patients safe!
@PeaceJanz .... You did the right thing for your own safety. But, my stars. How can healthcare providers be so cavalier about such a potentially deadly virus?! It just boggles the mind. @Robin ... How wonderful that you'll have your whole family together. Definitely something to be thankful for.
I feel so lucky that I got my booster over a month ago.
Unfortunately for me, my family is scattered and unable to get together for either Thanksgiving or Christmas. But we're thankful for zoom.
We aren't traveling and we probably won't do much for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We have an invite to our neighbor across the street who is doing their normal BIG Thanksgiving with 17+ people. The requirement is everyone must take a Covid test prior to going and everyone must be vaccinated. Honestly, I have no desire to hang out with that many people. Especially since they aren't my friends or family. My husband and I have thoughts of taking our dish over, grabbing our food in to go containers, and just hanging out at our house. I'm accepting that much social interaction is just too much for me and I have no desire to put myself into it. I use to self-medicate my anxiety in those situations by drinking but I've decided that's not healthy and well... I quit drinking. I don't really want to put myself in a drinking triggering situation in my first 6m of abstaining. So we'll see.On the no drinking... I'm not an alcoholic but I definitely had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I could have a drink here and there no problem but there were other times that I struggled and would binge. So after reading Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol, following some sober insta accounts, and some self-reflection... I decided I was done. :) I may not be done forever... when I make it Ireland, I am definitely having a pint in a pub but for now... not worth it.
For Christmas we don't decorate... haven't since my dad died. I may do a bit more this year and tip toe back into it... we'll see. Last year we did Chinese food for Christmas and it was awesome... will probably do the same this year.
Congratulations on your sobriety, Charlotte! I read that book as well and it was very illuminating.
I haven't been able to quit completely but I am doing Dryuary every year and minimizing my alcohol use kinda off and on.
It's definitely becoming more and more socially acceptable to be like "I'm not an alcoholic, but I don't drink." Seems like I follow a lot of sober youtubers. Some were alcoholics, others just had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.
It's the strangest thing in our society where you have to justify why you DON'T drink.
Meli wrote: "Congratulations on your sobriety, Charlotte! I read that book as well and it was very illuminating.
I haven't been able to quit completely but I am doing Dryuary every year and minimizing my alco..."
Right?!? I haven't told many people or "come out" on social yet because of the judgment people have on non-drinkers. I feel safe here :)
One of the insta ones I follow, sobernseattle, posted research about when it might be considered that you have a problem with alcohol and people were pissed and went after them. Crazy!!
I once had a doctor tell me that the problem with a lot of addictions (alcohol, cigarettes, coffee) is that the people also get addicted to the hand/mouth ritual.
Charlotte wrote: "One of the insta ones I follow, sobernseattle, posted research about when it might be considered that you have a problem with alcohol and people were pissed and went after them. Crazy!!"I think people just really don't want to be told what they are doing is wrong or harmful and that manifests in strange ways. I know it's not good for me, I do it anyway, but I won't be mad if people point out the facts.
Kirsten wrote: "I once had a doctor tell me that the problem with a lot of addictions (alcohol, cigarettes, coffee) is that the people also get addicted to the hand/mouth ritual."
I believe that! Definitely. Any addition I have (alcohol, phone, etc) there is that moment where you are like "what do I do with my hands" or "I need to drink something to keep from talking" or whatever. It's definitely about ritual, whether hand & mouth or not. I always feel that strongly watching Intervention. Most of the addicts have a whole set up. They've got the bottle of alcohol, or the little carrying case of drug implements etc etc. Hoarding, which I believe is also an addiction not so much hand & mouth ritual, but most cases that is probably true... on second thought, maybe hoarding is more of a compulsion and that is different?
This conversation is very interesting and appropriate I think. This is a non-judgmental space meant to discuss and support, not judge. Pesonally I talk a lot more about drinking than I actually drink. I can take a drink or even more likely not bother. When I have a drink, it is 98% of the time for the taste -- a lovely single malt scotch sipped or a glass of wine that enhances a meal. Back in the day I always volunteered to be the designated driver because I had no problem not drinking at an event -- to this day if traveling with a group I will abstain to be the driver. I drink but it is not volumn and very much of a take it or leave it proposition. If I find the scotch has run out (which NEVER can happen in this house given the number of bottles I have that were gifts (lawyers are gifted wine and scotch a lot). Some 25 year old bottles of scotch are probably 50 years old at this point.
It appals me that anyone has friends or a social circle that judge if you elect not to drink or want an explanation if you say no, just pour me a diet coke or glass of water or seltzer. To me the problem is with those judging and asking -- why do you need me to drink? I can have a perfectly wonderful time not drinking. Now if everyone gets totally blotto - that's not a scene for me anyway.
But on reflectiion, I've evolved a number of mechanisms to deflect that kind of question or pressure:
-I carry around a glass filled with club soda and a wedge of lime -- people can assume it is a vodka or gin and tonic - that's their problem not mine. This also gives my hands something to do and something I can sip and replenish obliviously.
- I often have one drink - scotch on the rocks - that I sip most of the evening.
- If everyone is drinking red wine with dinner and expecting me to share in the bottle, I order a single glass of a different wine saying I prefer it. Or if I do share the bottle, I make my first glass last through most of the meal. There's a point at which everyone stops noticing if you are no longer filling your glass.
- I will remind them that I'm the designated driver - that usually shuts people up.
- Living in NYC where I take public transport and the designated driver line doesn't work, I'll say I'm quenching my thirst first with seltzer and will get something else later -- only never do.
- If someone really pushes me, I bluntly ask why it matters to them whether I drink or not. And if they ask if I'm abstaining or something, I'll just say that I just prefer not to drink at that time.
But of course it is different for those who crave it. I really don't care whether consume alcohol or not. That makes it much easier.
Addiction I think is where you crave it for some reason -- a mental/emotional need that also has a physical component - needing to relax, sleep, ease pain, blot out memory, etc. It provides an escape or an easing.
Hoarding is not quite the same. True hoarding isn't where you have several piles of clothes or a set of dishes sitting around for a year waiting for you to box them up and donate - - that's me BTW -- as long as you are hanging on to them out of laziness, procrastination or preference for things like reading. If someone showed up tonight and said they were there to pack up and donate those clothes and dishes, I'd welcome them with open arms and say - go for it. Hoarders have a compulsion, a desperate need, to hang on to those pieces of string, those clothes that haven't fit in 30 years. If someone showed up tonight to pack it all and take it away, they would protest, hide the stuff, etc.
That's just my take on it. I could be deluded. But I've had to deal with hoarders in the buildings I represent and the serious problem hoarders are those who cling to the stuff.
My parents were not drinkers. Dad like an occasional beer on a hot day after a day in the fields. He made a wine that was the only one he ever drank, and then it was a small glass with company. My mother hated the taste of alcohol. Of course I experimented in college, even was a bartender at private parties as a way to earn some money, but never really became much of a drinker. One thing that bartending those parties taught me --- how people ruin good liquour with mixers. That's where I developed a taste for quality scotch and savoring a glass. Since college I have lost too many friends and clients too young to addiction and alcoholism. I guess when you are not drinking, the negative impact of drinking hits home.
I applaud every single one of you that has elected to moderate or stop their drinking. It's hard.
Good for you, Charlotte. Personally, I would just decline the invite and plan to celebrate quietly at home. If you really crave the traditional Thanksgiving feast .... just make it at home. You can buy turkey parts (Thigh, breast, drumstick) ... you don't need an entire bird. I made such a meal about a month ago because Hubby found Turkey thighs on sale. It was a lovely treat. (Though we were missing the cranberry relish he usually makes ... THAT takes up too much time and effort for a regular week-day dinner.)As for drinking ... I frequently alternate: a glass of wine, then a glass of water (sparkling, still, tonic, whatever...). I've never had anyone ask me why, nor have I ever asked anyone. I'll sometimes ask my husband if he'd like wine with dinner. If he says no, then - most times - I don't bother either. But occasionally, I'll open a bottle, pour a glass, and that's it for that evening. We're having steak tonight, and I have a really nice cabernet I'd like to have with it. If Hubby doesn't want any, I'll still have a glass.
Congrats, Charlotte! Good for you. I have actually never drunk alcohol. Not too many people really bat an eye, I've found, honestly. In high school, though... that was different. Plenty of peer pressure there. But I never did. Yuck!
ETA: I have tried sips of things, but I just don't like that alcoholic aftertaste... which every alcoholic drink seems to have... even if it initially tastes good.
We have an option of having Thanksgiving with more people, including some who are anti-vaxx and actually had covid, so insist they are immune, and others whose status we don't know. Not an option for me! I have never enjoyed alcohol and have never been able to drink more than 1 glass of something before feeling sick. My parents never drank either, not a moral thing, just not interested. If anything, alcohol makes me feel sad, never happy, and it makes my nose itch. As far as the taste, I realized I could get tonic with lime and it tasted better to me than a gin & tonic.
Now giving up caffeine would be a challenge for me - or, heaven forbid - chocolate!
Kudos to your Charlotte for making the decision and sticking to it.Like Theresa, I talk about drinking more than it actually happening. I take too much medication. I enjoy a glass a wine with a good meal, but that is where I usually stop.
And Kudos to Robin P for making the decision to avoid people who will not do things to protect you. I avoid people and places where people are unvaccinated. What an easy way to avoid illness and early death. Honestly, I live in Florida and there are so many selfish people here (including our fool of a governor - I hope he runs against Trump for President next time) who refuse to be vaccinated. I shelter in home. My brother is vaccinated and, thank goodness, he brings groceries. I want to continue living. So congrats to those of you are are going to stay home and enjoy your close ones. peace, janz
Play Book Tag
Books mentioned in this topic
Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol (other topics)The Shadow of the Torturer (other topics)
I seem to be in a tiny bit of a reading slump. Or more that my attention is just too busy as I read. This does tend to happen when I finish a thought-provoking book like The Shadow of the Torturer. It is also because I'm busy, including prepping for a workshop I'm giving this weekend. I find myself watching Hallmark Christmas movies and working on a jigsaw puzzle or playing the games on my virtual 2021 Jacquie Lawson London Advent Calendar. If you don't know these wonderful advent calendars, here's a link: https://www.jacquielawson.com/advent
Or I'm busy thinking about upcoming plans for Thanksgiving, Christmas, when will I put up my tree, getting gifts bought, wrapped and shipped in the next couple of weeks, etc. One bit of planning I handled over the weekend was renting a car to drive to Philly area for Thanksgiving week - I'm spending it with friends (we are all vaxxed and we tend to sit around eating, talking, drinking, reading, and playing with the dog). I could not believe the pricing! There literally was no discounted pricing offered for renting on a week-long basis. Renting in and around NYC is always more expensive than anywhere else, but this is absurd! I originally put into the search the dates I'm going to Mohonk in early December -- those prices were under $300 for the week. Thanksgiving week: $650 for the week. That's picking up from LaGuardia airport which is a pain and adds time. However, I can get there by local bus door to door but still. I even checked all my alternate 'cheap' options to rent a car without the NYC price increase (i.e. take train to Philly and rent there) -- saves me all of about $50. Maybe. I will say though that I did the same search in September, as soon as I confirmed visiting Lucy, and the prices were actually higher.
Expensive as that is, there is a value to the convenience of driving: it is a 2.5 hour drive and I have not driven a car since 2019 because of the pandemic, and I get to just toss stuff into the car and not worry about fitting into a suitcase or schlepping a heavy bag. I like having a car at my disposal while visiting. And even though expensive, it's not really when I consider that it is the only cost I will have for the entire week. Lucy will be feeding me and will not even allow me to pay for any dinners out (or delivery).
Time to go put out a few fires.