Maximum Ride...ROCKS! discussion
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jokes
yea kinda, I had to say it outloud. my sister got it the first time I said it to her!
message 53:
by
Insanity's Master(aka Chaotic Slave), Procrastination is a virtue
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*facepalm*
I needed that
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message 57:
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Insanity's Master(aka Chaotic Slave), Procrastination is a virtue
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mine r just real loud
everyone looks at me:
O.O
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message 59:
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Insanity's Master(aka Chaotic Slave), Procrastination is a virtue
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u wear glasses
NO FAIR
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message 61:
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Insanity's Master(aka Chaotic Slave), Procrastination is a virtue
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when I wore glasses
it was fun
lol
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i typed a faaaat post and then the system broke SO IT SAID THAT IT COULDNT SAVE IT
IT WAS LIKE OVER 9000!!!!!
IT WAS LIKE OVER 9000!!!!!
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i know i had like 5 jokes, three of em were like 2 paragraphs and really good but now i dont want to type them
a man walked into a bar an said ow
a fish ran into a wall and said damn
a man walked into a bar an said ow
a fish ran into a wall and said damn
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:(
I still don't get it
sorry"
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It's fine ^^
And yes HUMANITARIANS! STAY AWAY FROM THEM!
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"The guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know the bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, I'm a 6' tall, black belt. The guy sitting next to me is a rugby player. The fella to your right is 300 lb wrestler. We're all blonde. Think about it. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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those two, are amazing and now i shall give u mine
and im half blonde half redhead so i justify it
so a blonde dyes her hair because she doesnt want to go around and everyone be like 'oh shes blonde she must be an idiot'
so shes driving along the highway and she sees this giant sheep farm (shes in scotland) and shes like "WOW... THATS A LOT OF SHEEP"
so she pulls into the sheep farm and goes up to the farmer and asks him if she guesses the exact number of sheep at his farm, if she can have one
so the farmer says "sure, why not?"
"9037" the blonde says
"wow thats amazing" the farmer says "you have the exact number of sheep on my farm, feel free to take one"
so the blonde looks around for a loooooong while to find a sheep that she likes, and when she does she loads 'im up in a trailer and prepares to set off when the farmer comes up to her
"you all ready to go?" he asks, looking at her sheep
she nods
"hey one more thing" the farmer says "if i can guess your real hair color, can i have my dog back?"
and im half blonde half redhead so i justify it
so a blonde dyes her hair because she doesnt want to go around and everyone be like 'oh shes blonde she must be an idiot'
so shes driving along the highway and she sees this giant sheep farm (shes in scotland) and shes like "WOW... THATS A LOT OF SHEEP"
so she pulls into the sheep farm and goes up to the farmer and asks him if she guesses the exact number of sheep at his farm, if she can have one
so the farmer says "sure, why not?"
"9037" the blonde says
"wow thats amazing" the farmer says "you have the exact number of sheep on my farm, feel free to take one"
so the blonde looks around for a loooooong while to find a sheep that she likes, and when she does she loads 'im up in a trailer and prepares to set off when the farmer comes up to her
"you all ready to go?" he asks, looking at her sheep
she nods
"hey one more thing" the farmer says "if i can guess your real hair color, can i have my dog back?"
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and lol XD
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A blonde came up to her and said, "That looks like fun, can I try?"
The brunette said, "Sure."
So the blonde chanted, "88, 88, 88, 88.."
"Well," said the brunette, "that is fun. But what is even more fun is if you say it in the middle of the street."
So the blonde said, "OK." and stood in the middle of the street. "88, 88, 88, 88-" BAM! she was run over by a car, completely flattened.
Along the side of the road, the brunette began to chant, "89, 89, 89, 89..."
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I'd be that BLONDE!So three guys walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.
A man goes to heaven and meets St. Peter at the Pearly gates.The man asks, "How do I get in?"
St. Peter simply shrugs and asks, "How do you spell love?"
"L-O-V-E."
"Ok. You can come in."
The man looks at the saint, surprised. "That's all?"
"Yup." St. Peter says. "Actually, do you mind watching the gates for me while I go do something? If someone wants in, just ask them how to spell love."
The man nods, and St. Peter leaves.
Soon, the man's friend comes up.
"How do I get into heaven?" His friend asks.
"Spell love."
"That's all?" The friend asks disbelievingly, but when the man nods, he spells love and goes in.
Finally, the man's wife shows up.
"How'd you get here?!" He exclaims.
"I died in a car crash on the way to your funeral. How do I get into heaven?"
Finally, the man bites his lip and asks, "How do you spell Czechoslovakia?"
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Four men are working in a mine, though one is hidden behind a rock and none of the other men know that he is there. One of the men suddenly stumbles upon a lamp, and when he rubs it a genie comes out. The genie tells them that he will grant the men three wishes. He comes up to the first one, who is very content with his life and wishes for bananas.
The man get's what he wishes for. The genie comes to the second man, who isn't that bright, and also wishes for bananas.
He gets his wish.
The man behind the rock watches, astonished, as the men waste their wishes. He suddenly runs out from behind the rock, determined to get a wish. "I wish for..." He begins, then suddenly yells, "Crap!" as he slips on one of the banana peels from the first man.
He got what he wished for.
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Oh! I got one!
Two men are trapped on an island. A genie comes and tells them that he will give them each one wish. The first man says 'I wish I knew how to build a boat so I could get off this island' So, he grants the wish. The man builds the boat and rows himself to shore. The other man says 'I wish I was a woman.' The genie turns him into a woman. He stands up and walks across the bridge.
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Lol That's the truth men. If you have one wish to save yourself, wish you're a woman.
PLANE JOKE!!! there were five men and a little boy on the plane, the pilot, world's smartest man, biker, and old man, chef. The pilot told them that they were running out of fuel and would have to jump, but there were only 5 parachutes. The biker was shelfish and said "im too precious to die" and jumped with one parachute, The pilot said "Imnot being left behind" and jumped with the second parachute. the chef said "The world would be in destress without my food" Took the thrid parachute and jumped. The worlds smartest man said "Im better than you and jumped." The old man said "Its okay sonny you take the last one i had a long good life." The little boy said, "We can both take one, the worlds smartest man took my back pack." Then they heard a SPLASH!
There was a new girl at a school, her teacher told her to tell everyone her name. She told them "butiches" The teacher said "That's very funny now say your name" So she repeated "butiches" The teacher said "That's enough TELL THE CLASS YOUR NAME" And so she replied again "butiches" And then the teacher sent her to the principal's office. "What's your name, punk?" The principal asked. "butiches." "What's your name? PUNK" He repeated. "butiches" "If you don't tell me right now I'm going to call the cops. "butiches" The same thing repeated with the cop except for the I'm going to call the cops it was I'm going to run over you with my truck.At Mibutiches funeral her mom was crying and she said "My poor butiches!!!" And the man next to her said "then scratch it"
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I'm slow
XD