Horror Aficionados discussion

Opens to be fed
Closing over it's dinner
Waiting for the next


*** butterflies ***

Got skooshy tushy?
Butterflies in your belly?
Try Pepto. It's pink!

***cubicle***

Tushy and belly in the same haiku? Are you filing your nails too?

Stuck here in my cube
like a Dilbert on morphine
yes that's my stapler


*****handbag*****

I tried so hard to get panty in there for ya. :o

(deep sigh)

Why are you so small?
Handbag full of junk and lint,
no room for panties.

***Sylvia Plath***

Poor Sylvia Plath
stuck her head in the oven
and turned on the gas.

***Puppet***

And there it is.

Hee hee hee.

Pay no attention
to this hand up your rear end.
You speak when I say!

***ice skating***

Watching Johnny Weir
His costumes are fabulous
He rocks that tassel

***lederhosen***

I look like a dork,
wearing these leather britches.
Yep, I'm a German.

***Lincoln's assassination***

Sitting high above
Watching the latest minstrels
To watch never more


*** Star Wars ***

Star Wars in 3 Parts

"Remember Star Wars?
'Luke, I am your father...cczzhhuuuuhhhh....'"
"Sorry, don't know it."

"What about Yoda
and, 'May the force be with you?'"
"Doesn't ring a bell."

"Ugly, pointy ears..."
"What, you mean like Mister Spock?"
"Are you mocking me?"


***Aliens***

We come to your earth,
In search of things to take back.
We will probe your ass.

***earth seen from space***

Small and wonderful
Looking down upon the world
Yes humanity


*** new born baby ***

Taken from the womb,
A warm safe place to grow big.
Welcome to the world.

***pinata***

my stupid cubemate
wish she was a pinata
and I had a bat


***cotton candy***

Oh, cloud of sugar
melting in my mouth so sweet,
So ephemeral.

***Aunt Bea from Andy Griffith***

Not so sugary
Venomous beyond belief
Two faces of Bea


*** Panera Bread ***

Why pretend to be
A real piece of tasty bread?
Tasteless piece of board.

***Robert Downey Jr.***

When he was younger
Drinking and debauchery
Was his way of life


*** Jeff Gordon ***

How happy he is
to get paid millions to drive
a car in circles.

***pit bull***

Misunderstood dog
Hurting Others without guilt
Is trained to do it

***James Bond***

Very muscular
Attractive fawning women
Serves her majesty


*** black labs ***

A most loyal friend
Endless love and energy
sheds on my white coat


*****Memorial Day*****

Decorating graves
Of men and women who fought
For all our freedoms.

***grilled scallops***

I had them for lunch
but the stuffed crab looked better
I'll get that next time


***Roseanne Barr***

Was funny back when,
Now she's just a big fat joke.
Please just disappear.

***scalding hot coffee***

*I would have shared! I left one anyway.

Small fly gets to close,
all of a sudden,it's dark.
Help Me,ahhh, Help Me.


***Wind***

I cannot see you,
But I feel your soft caress.
Stop mussing my hair!

***cucumbers***

You taste like summer.
Sprinkled with salt and lots and
lots of vinegar.

***charcoal grilling***

ETA: Oops, I forgot seven syllables in my second line. Doh!

As the smoke rises,
he is earning his man card.
Folks, it's time to eat.


***Corn-on-the-cob***

Peel back the jacket,
And rip out the silky strings...
Get ready to cook.

***lighter fluid***

I knew Lee would tackle the charcoal grilling haiku challenge.

Stack the black briquets,
give the bottle a good squeeze.
Ah...no more eyebrows!


***Picnic table ***

It's all about the man-card Tressa!

Spread out the goodies,
and sit down with friends to feast--
elbow-to-elbow.

***mosquitoes***

*I know. Nothing says sexy like a sweaty man holding a 15-inch long metal spatula, surrounded by a halo of smoke.

To live is to suck
Little disease carriers
To suck is to live

****sun block****

Rub me all over,
thick, white paste that blocks the sun
from burning your skin.

***beach sand in your bathing suit***

Glob on to your face.
It might look rather funny...
but, no redncek look.

***Watermelon***

Hey, I was here first!

What's the trade secret,
to pick a watermelon
that's juicy and sweet?

***beach sand in your bathing suit***

Itchy and Scratchy
Tug the bottoms from your crack
and let loose the sand


****surf boards****

To ride in a wave.
Wild,painted fiberglass boards.,
OK dude, Surf's Up!


***Sunflowers***

Wide tilting faces
Bright as the sun in summer
Tall as a corn stalk


*****mango daquiri****

Fruity, sugary
Filled with ethanol poison
Sobriety wins

**** cell phones ****

Used when shouldn't be.
Just look around in the cars,
talking and driving.


*** Disco ***

Glittering music,
Thumping beats cokeheads dance to...
You will be dead soon.

***bald heads***

bald is beautiful
what is that weird looking lump
there on your chrome dome?


****Peaches****

The smell of summer...
Juicy peaches ripen soon;
Just in time for pie.

***picking blueberries in 90 degree heat***

Impressionist dots
Berry bush seen through sweat haze
Blue stains in my teeth

***baking date nut bread***

(Steph, you are hilarious!)

Dates and nuts mix well
I have dated many nuts
They bake up quite nice

****cannibals****


(Just for you, Thoa-X!)