Outhouse of Uncool discussion

I used to collect snow globes. Every size and shape you can imagine. My mom still has all of them in my old bedroom displayed on shelves. I keep my favorite one at my house on my bookshelf (Christmas tree with extra sparkly snow). Very uncool.

Anyone else have an uncool collection?

Great question, Shell! I have a few spare cheesy "Rome" snowglobes, by the way.

I have a collection of Alice in Wonderland posters and paraphenalia. It's not a huge collection, maybe forty or fifty pieces, tops, but they're all over my home office. Yes, a middle age man fascinated by Alice in Wonderland. God knows what the neighbors think. Who cares, though, you know? I've loved that book since I was a kid...it opened my eyes to new ways of thinking and possibilities, and I've always felt connected to Alice.

RA, have you read The Looking Glass Wars yet? It's an interesting twist on the story, I enjoyed it.

Mich, Uhhhh, my family has decided that I collect turtles. As a result I have many, many turtles in several forms. Personally, I collect books, movies, music, beads that I pretty much never use for anything, art supplies I rarely touch. (It has turned into a bit of a paint brush collection over the last year or so.) Nothing very interesting...like snow globes!

Oh, except my friend and I do those dumb, smashed penny things whenever we go anywhere that they have them...does that count?

RA, that is so uncool that it's actually cool. Alice in Wonderland. How did you get started on that collection?

Amelia, don't you love it when you express an interest in something and then suddenly you collect it? That happened to my mom. She said she liked these porcelain chickens and the next thing you knew her house was filled with them. Gifts from all the people in her life.

Hey, I've done the smashed up penny thing, too!

My other thing is that I collect candy wherever I go. I went on a cruise and bought candy in Puerto Rico. But it's not much of a collection because I eat it all. :)

I would like to collect money - but apparently its not an option in my life!!
I once was over enthusiastic about a hideous ornament given to me by a friend with the unforeseen consequence that I got another similar one for every birthday and christmas - they were these things called teazle animals - like dressed up hedgehogs and things -urgh - makes me shiver just to remember them!!! Anyway seriously uncool - but not sure it counts coz it wasnt something I would have chosen myself?

Mich, the turtle thing went so far as the following:

The Christmas after my dad died my grandmother (his mother) told the rest of the kids that they didn't get anything that year, she had spent all of her money on something for me. When Christmas finally arrived my Gran came to me with a little box tied up in a bow, her eyes glistening with excitement and the tears she was trying not to shed. "This is from me, and your dad." She tells me. I am instantly terrified to open it. I can see how excited she is, and I am a TERRIBLE liar. My grandmother and I did not share the same taste in anything for one thing, and there was the fact that our relationship had been seriously strained since my father's death. (Long story, she treated my step mother very poorly, heckled the pastor at the funeral and then refused to go to the wake or whatever you call that after thing where you eat...it made the worst day of my life that much more unbearable.) So, I have no choice, right? I mean, I have to open it with her staring at me.

Inside the pretty little box is the most hideous ring I have ever laid eyes on in my life! That is saying something, I lived in Dallas, Texas, where big, gaudy rings were a must with bleach blond hair and shell suits... Let me see if I can possibly paint a picture for you of its grotesqueness. The main part of the ring and most of the body...yes, I said BODY, is yellow gold. It is in the shape of a turtle, it's back is about the size of a nickle. The golden turtle has a white gold shell with black hills gold designs. It has scary, ruby eyes. The creatures legs, head and tail all wiggle when it moves. But, the crowning feature of it's amazingly poor taste is that its shell opens up, snaps open like a locket....my gran bought me an ugly, huge, turtle shaped COKE RING with evil ruby eyes...for Christmas...from my dead father!

Try to hide that horror from your expression as you thank her politely. Listen to your siblings and cousins for the next few years going on about the year they didn't get anything for Christmas because Amy got the coke ring!

That is by far the most horrible, unwanted, forced, turtle gift. But, I still have it, hiding in my jewelry box...I'll have it forever, because of the sentiment behind it, occasionally taking it out to gaze at it with fresh disgust and gratitude.

No, Amelia, I'll check it out, thanks...Shell...I started working at a new gig right when 1) we moved to Wisconsin, and 2) ebay started up, so I bought some new prints for the house...they're all over the office where I sit now.

Your "involuntary" collections reminds me of a story from work. I had a dream once that puffins were attacking me in the hallway outside my office. I'm not kidding. I made the dire mistake of telling a couple of students and within weeks stuffed puffins were showing up in my office, often with the words "DIE DIE DIE" on little signs next to them. Some students also made me an "anti-puffin sheild". Pretty funny, actually.

Shell, have you ever heard of Dylan's Candy Bar? They're in NY, Texas, and Florida. It's a store that sells all kinds of candy...they have one in a mall in Florida where I do an annual conference...very cool.

http://www.dylanscandybar.com/jump.js...

There are also a lot of cool smaller candy places in Wisconsin...I bet you have them in Minnesota, too, right?

I used to collect beer bottles from all over the world. Of course, I was a world-class drunk then.

Speaking of collections, I keep flashing to Mrs. Umbridge and her sickening kitty plate collection in Harry Potter book 5. I confess, I have a few kitty plates of my own. :)

RA, I haven't heard of Dylan's Candy Bar, but I LOVE their site!!!! So cool.

Yes, in MN we have many quaint little candy stores. There's a good one in downtown St. Paul. It smells soooo wonderful in there.

Amelia, you will appreciate this. When I was in Portland, I went to Tauscher Chocolates and had one of their champagne truffles. Yum. Yum. You ever been?

Oh, and Amelia, that was a horrifying turtle ring story. I was cringing the entire time. This is why I HATE opening up gifts in front of the gift-giver. It's hard to hide the horror.

Amy, that story is both hilarious and awful. I know what you mean about family deciding you collect things, though. I was once antiquing with my in-laws and I admired a Moroccan Amethyst Depression glass bowl. For the next five years, my in-laws sent me Moroccan Amethyst Depression glass for every birthday and Christmas. At the time we were living in a small apartment with absolutely no space for a china cabinet to display the glass. I finally had to tell my MIL I appreciated the gifts but that I had more than enough now. To this day, every last Depression glass item is still wrapped up and in a box.

I collect refrigerator magnets from Broadway shows and from places I've visited. I also collect the souvenir programs from all the Broadway and touring shows I see.

Suz, can I have 50 dollars?

Refrigerator Magnets....my mom collects them, they make me twitch (and not in a good way).

Moroccan Amethyst Depression Glass...that is very specific. I had no idea there even was such a thing! I just googled it though, and it is really pretty. If I still liked purple the way I did when I was 12, I'd totally collect that!

Do you really King? That's hilarious!!

I have a friend (since we were kids), a grown man, who collects McDonald's toys and beanie babies. He's kind of a hard ass (he's done time), he was always "the bad boy", so I found this a riot myself. He got all offended and insisted that they were going to be worth money someday. I told him, "No, no they're not!" HA!

Yea! Refrigerator magnets! I collect those too.

Oh dear. I collect nothing. What a dud.

No, you are a wise woman Lori! With every turtle I am gifted I aquire one more thing that collects dust...

I used to collect chewed-up gum... only mine. I didn't pick it off of the sidewalks or anything. I always put my used gum on the same ball. It was solid gum and got to be the size of a basketball. My brothers and I took it outside to play with it and the neighbor's dog tore it apart. I patched it back together but only saved enough to make it volley-ball sized.

I grew out of it, but my dad kept the thing in the rafters of the garage. Every time I brought a guy home with me, my dad would take them out to the garage and show it to them so that they'd know what kind of girl they were dating.

Clackamas--I think you just took the prize for the uncoolest collection. Seriously, that boggles the mind. You should get a prize!!!!

Yeah... I'm not easy to gross out, but it's pretty icky. It had chunks where I hadn't chewed all of the sugar out of the gum so it was gooey. Then after dad put it in the garage, it got all dusty and bug-covered. It was just what I wanted every potential boyfriend to see.

Does this mean you're still single because of dear old dad? ha!

I'm speechless, Clack...

I used to pull gum off the sidewalk and chew it when I was a kid...I really liked gum!

I should be dead.

Amelia- you probably have a very healthy immune system now... at least that's what I tell myself to excuse my nail-biting.

ShellBell- maybe so. The guys who were decent were grossed out and never dated me again. The guys who weren't grossed out-- well, who wants to date a guy who wouldn't be grossed out by it. Either way, I lose.

So do I win a prize? I will proudly print out any certificates sent my way. Dad can put one in the garage...

Clack, this thing with your dad showing all your dates the gumball reminds me of something I did to one of my best friends in college. She was the sweetest girl ever, but she wasn't very concerned with keeping the house we shared very clean. In keeping with that, she had had her toothbrush for so long it was actually growing mold on the handle (not the bristles thank goodness). Well, one night she brings a date home and they are chatting away on the couch. I come in and chat with them for a bit. And somehow, the moldy toothbrush comes up in the conversation. My friend denies it. Swears up and down there is no way her toothbrush has mold on it. So, I helpfully went and got her toothbrush and brought it out to show her date. She was so mortified (and clearly I was acting out some deep-seated resentment at her lack of cleaning). But it turned out all right in the end, because her date ended up having herpes...on his back.

???
I don't even want to know...

Amanda--he was a wrestler. Apparently wrestlers get the herpes all over!!!! Beware next time you're thinking about wrasslin'!

Mich, I just anorted...violently. "...on his back." Mentoring hilarious! I once knew a guy who had athletes foot fungus on his back (didn't date him...much older than me) and I thought that was gross! Blech!!

Athlete's foot on his back?? Was he a wrestler? I'm firmly believing this "wrestling will give you any number of viral/bacterial/fungal infections".

True story: at my college the wrestlers would practice on the wrestling mats, and then they were supposed to wash the mats so the karate club could come in and work out after them--on the same mats. Well, one time the wrestlers didn't clean up so well and one of the girls in the karate class fell and landed on her face, on the mat. And what happened??? She got herpes on her frickin' face!!!!! She sued my college and she won. The horror!!!!

That is so sick...

*insert musical notes and twangy southern accent* "Mama's, don't let your babies grow up to be wrestlers!" *insert musical notes*

No, he wasn't a wrestler that I know of. He was a grown man, I was a kid...the folks were friends and their kids and us grew up together. I just remember my mom telling me about it.

Wrestling is just nasty. Sweaty boys in spandex. I dated a wrestler in high school and wouldn't let him touch me until after he showered. I didn't mind his own sweat, mind you; it was the fact that they get each other's juices all over themselves.

Also in high school, I worked for a sports photographer. I worked in his booth at the state wrestling finals. It was the smelliest sporting event I have ever witnessed, and I've witnessed a lot of sporting events.

You can't shower off herpes, princess!

Well, thankfully my wrestling boyfriend never had that!

Oh crap. I just remembered I actually dated two wrestlers! Guess I dodged a bullet there, huh?

I've heard that wrestlers purposely do not shower and try to be as nasty as possible to gross out their opponent during matches. Like, get the guy in a headlock and really rub his face in your armpit kind of thing. Don't we have any wrestlers on goodreads who can speak to this? Come on, don't be shy!

I bet they were glad to get an armpit...have you seen some of those take-downs? Fomunda, for sure!

Ha! I know exactly what you mean. Guuuurrrrooooosssss!

I currently have a collection of Dungeons & Dragons books and another collection of board games. Only geeks like me think it's cool, so it must be decidedly uncool to the rest of the world... oh yeah, and Magic Cards.

Wrestling is such a weirdass sport. I mean real wrestling. Not fake wrestling.

I would SO love to read those Dungeons and Dragons books. I don't play D and D, haven't for years, but I love the books.

I've read all of the Dragonlance books, well, up until they begin to be written by other people. And, I've named one of my cats and my dragon tattoo after Tasslehoff Burrfoot. (Tas)

Is that enough to get me into the D&D hall of geekdom? I've only played once, it was rather slow, but I expect that was my mates. They spent more time yackin than rollin! Pfft!

You are both so uncool... It's great to be among my own people.

RA: I have the first ed books and a ton of the original modules. I have most of the second ed books, but not many of the modules. For third ed I only have 15-20 books. I have no intention of starting to collect fourth ed. I am helping with a role-play game that will use the d20 system (to be published late next year).

I've always thought that people who continue being into role-play when they're in their 30's are so uncool.

I'm 31.

I'm 31 and I want to start role-playing for the first time. How uncool is that?

I win! I win! Michelle pulls into first place as the uncoolest by a hair!

That IS pretty uncool. It's pretty hard to find a group of adults who play and are willing to accept a new member in their group... most have them have been playing together since they were teens. You might have to go to the comic shop and hook up with a group of teenagers.... so uncool to be the old guy in that group =o)

You do win!

(Have you noticed how I always use 35 words where 10 would suffice?... brevity, not my forte)

I think I may have reached new levels of uncoolness, now that I know I can't even get into a group, and my only option is teenagers. Ah well, maybe I'll be an uncool, older mentor type?

(I have noticed and I love it. Brevity is for the birds!)

"older mentor type"???? Really, with teenagers...you get put in jail for that shit, Mich!

Hey, they could be 18!!!! Though I must confess to a fierce crush on Daniel Radcliffe BEFORE he turned 18. But he turned 18 last July and so I'm home free now.

But really, once you hit your 30's (and sometimes before) teenagers seem like aliens from another planet. And we seem like a bunch of old duds to them.

Shell... I'm going to see Equus in November. We have front row tickets.

What, no response? I'm going to see Harry Potter naked. Isn't that pretty uncool?

Naw. It's uncool that he decided to do it... following the path of so many other child stars, but not uncool that you're taking advantage of the opportunity to see it ;o)

Following the path? It's not porn. It's not drugs. I can understand him wanting to break away from the Harry Potter image. Seven films in the same character and starting at age 11 are a recipe for being typecast your whole life.

And the play is actually brilliantly written.