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things you learned from the movies (that may or may not be true)
message 51:
by
Jammies
(new)
Jan 13, 2011 09:22AM
You can turn live reptiles into balloons just by blowing into their mouths, and they will not bite or scratch you or struggle at all.
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keeping you eye on the road while driving is not necessary at all.
you have to do the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGHH face when driving and something is headed your way
the popular clique in a high school usually consists of three persons, a perfect number for walking down the hallway in formation.
HOOOMG, WATCH OUT FOR FALLING ANVILS IN THE DESERT!!!
Sarah Pi wrote: "That's the cartoon laws of physics, Heidi: http://funnies.paco.to/cartoon.html"that's an excellent piece!
Walking in slow motion looks COOL, especially if there's wind in your hair.
See, Kevin, that's it. Try this at home, the walking in slow motion, and you just look silly, like you're pretending to be the Bionic Woman. :::cue sound effect:::
Cueing up "Back in Black," "Bad to the Bone," or "Highway to Hell" always doubles the impact of a character's appearance on screen.
Music swells when you kiss.If you're making out someplace you're not supposed to, you will get caught.
na-na-na-na-nanananana-na-na-na-nananana
def doing bionic man effect but wind is not affecting my hair
People (and their bodies) don't make weird noises when they have sex. That's just weird.
Sex isn't a bit messy.
Kissing someone when you first wake up in the morning is always a pleasant experience.
Mod
You also learn that every woman puts her bra back on immediately after sex and then falls asleep in that bra.
It is possible to have sexual intercourse through bedcovers.
most problems can be solved in two hours or less. some problems need three hours, because everyone is distracted by the pretty landscape.
Sheets strategically drape themselves at different levels for men and women.
No one ever gets bugs in the mouth or on the face or in the hair or eyes when riding in a convertible with the top down.
Driving through a construction zone is never a problem .
If you need to have your car chase in a major urban area, it's ok. People will jump out of the way. You will probably hit a lot of fruit stands. They are everywhere, as are people hoisting pianos through second story windows via a pulley system.
And when one or two people hog the dance floor, everyone steps back to watch them throw down. Dance off!
I'm laughing too hard to comment further.
a killer will reveal the reasoning behind his killing to you if you are the main character in a film, thus making sure there's enough time for someone to come rescue you. even killers know: main characters should not be killed (most of the time).
Nobody in a martial arts fight ever seems to have a gun, or if they do by the time the MA expert gets to them they forgot how to pull a trigger.
yes, they all seem to wait for their turn to be killed.
for group fights there's also always a surprising amount of one-on-one dueling.
If you think he's dead HE'S NOT DEAD. Back away instead of turning your back on him. Really. Or at least take the gun/knife/sword with you when you go, so that when he inevitably gets up again he won't have that to get you with.
hahahah. i was thinking the same thing sarah. just watched 10,000bc with my son the other day and they knocked a bad guy in the head but didn't finish him off and we were like "mistake"
1) If there's a token minority, that minority will either be killed first or they will survive.2) The black guy is either really dorky, a "gangster," or an athlete.
3) Black girls haven't discovered perms.
4) No one ever talks over anyone. Everyone takes their turn.
5) Rashida Jones or Maya Rudolph will always be cast as the white guy's black girlfriend or wife. Cop Out doesn't count.
6) The guy is always on top when he orgasms.
Wait, I think I have to explain number three. I've noticed that in movies or tv, "ethnic hair" is either braided or in dreds. If it's not that, there's a lot of weave going on.
Kissing while underwater is a pleasant experience and somehow makes it possible to hold your breath for a really long time.
Sex standing up is easy. Parts will always line up just right or, if he picks her up, she weighs less than any socialite's purse-poodle.
riding a horse is easy and you are never sore even if you have never ridden a horse before.
Good one. Parts always lineup just right in movies. No awkwardness.
Someone who is falling off a roof/bridge/airplane can grasp your wrist, and you can haul their entire body weight up with just that one handhold.Also, you can blow the hatch of a cruising airplane and jump out without any ill effects on you or the other passengers.
If you are the one to set off explosives, you will always have time to make it out to safety without getting hurt, but you will be thrown up in the air in a blaze of glory and hit the ground in a nice clean roll.
Stacia wrote: "If you are the one to set off explosives, you will always have time to make it out to safety without getting hurt, but you will be thrown up in the air in a blaze of glory and hit the ground in a nice clean roll."Well yeah, duh. :-P
Nobody really checks to make sure everyone is off the ski lift, and there are wolves just waiting by the ski runs for half-frozen humans to fall off the chairs.
1. Women can kick ass all they want, but if the villain grabs your upper arm or wrist, you're a goner.2. Being carried by tall, hunky lads is comfortable.
A can of AquaNet can be used as a flamethrower in a pinch.
uhmm....tried that and that myth is plausible
WD-40 is a great flamethrower too. You never have to stop to use the facilities when you're being chased by bad guys. Never.
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