Q&A about all self-help subjects and more with Stephen Richards discussion

Have you any friends that pull you down and shoot your dreams down at the first chance they get?

Get good support; don't cast your pearls before swine. Really good friends empower you in securing your dreams - they don't have a hidden agenda to keep you where you are, to suit their own inadequacies.

Should you 'lose' people, and withhold information from family members who are unsupportive?

What do you think of this story:

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT AND ONE FRIEND SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE IN THE FACE.
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:
TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

TODAY, MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE OTHER FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY
IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,
AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THEN AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

I say zap em, as there are too many people with thoughts that are malicious.

It benefits us to lose the people who bring us down. We have to make the best of the life we have been given, and a good life doesn't include pouring energy (and likewise allowing others to drain it from us) into people who like to put us down or only have a negative response to our thoughts, actions and ambitions.

I made a decision to cut out the dead wood earlier this year. It's one of the most positive and essential steps we can take for our own health and well-being because people such as these do not have our best interests at heart. I am no longer pestered with questions, offered opinions I did not ask for that I am not interested in hearing, receiving unsolicited advice, putting up with contrary responses, or listening to a long list of complaints that they have about their own life, etc.

I did it in the kindest way possible to cause the least hurt for everyone involved, and at the end of the day, even if it seems a cruel thing to do, we have to be cruel to be kind sometimes... to *ourselves.*

We are fortunate that we can choose our friends, we must therefore choose wisely. I have one very treasured best friend whom I think the world of. I pour my energy into her because it's energy that is valued and filled with love and laughter. We only want the best for each other and support each other, just as real friends should. That I can count my friends on one hand is of no importance - it is the quality of the people we allow into our lives, not the quantity.

We are not as fortunate to be able to choose our family. I only really confide in my mum, we have a wonderful relationship which I pour a lot of love and heart into, which is returned to me multiplied. I'm very thankful for her and the closeness we have. I do not hold as much trust or confide as much of myself with my other family members. With some people we have no choice but to be wary of what we say and remain guarded to some extent.

I enjoyed the story you shared. The difference with energy vampires is that they only ever hit you and would always save themselves rather than save you.

So I say "YES!" Ditch those energy vampire 'friends' because they are not really your friends. They often wish you ill just for their own benefit, a lot of it comes from jealousy, their own insecurities or their own dissatisfaction with life etc, and we just don't need it. Life can be tough enough without giving audience to these predators! We must AVOID them at all costs, and if we ever find ourselves in their presence during the course of a day, take a long salt-water bath when you get home to recoup the energy that was lost and to draw their negative daggers out from your system.

So dear people, keep your garlic and crucifixes near at hand - and don't let yourself fall prey to these fiends! ;)

Christina wrote: "It benefits us to lose the people who bring us down. We have to make the best of the life we have been given, and a good life doesn't include pouring energy (and likewise allowing others to drain ..."

Christina,

How nice to see such positivity. One has to be brave to do what you have done ... fearless in fact. However, this is the way forward and as you have found, it is a liberating feeling once done.

Yes, I agree ... one or two really good friends are essential in life. Family are there, but best friends are always there.

Warmest wishes to you,
Stephen Richards