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“Adults who ground their parenting in a solid relationship with the child parent intuitively. They do not have to resort to techniques or manuals but act from understanding and empathy. If we know how to be with our children and who to be for them, we need much less advice on what to do. Practical approaches emerge spontaneously from our own experience once the relationship has been restored.”
― Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
― Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers

“Con người sinh ra hình như có một xu hướng nhất định sẽ làm những điều này điều nọ, xấu tốt đều có. Nó phải tuân thủ những xu hướng đó và cơ may của nó là qua những hành động hay dở của mình mà ngộ ra vài điều cho đời mình. Vì nếu không thông qua tội lỗi để hiểu ngộ một cách thâm sâu cái thiện mỹ đích thực xuất phát từ trái tim mình thì cuộc đời xem ra không có ý nghĩa gì. Né tránh tội lỗi, tập làm thiên thần, đó là điều đạo lý nên làm, nhưng cũng dễ là bước đường đi vào trong bóng tối của ngu muội và ngã ái. Đó là sự sai lầm chia thế giới làm hai phạm trù tốt xấu, đúng sai, xem sự vật như một hình ảnh đen trắng mà không biết rằng cuộc đời vốn đầy màu sắc và thiện ác là một điều hết sức tương đối và thường có nguồn gốc rất sâu xa.”
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“I like it when people say, ‘Gee, that’s a pretty good-looking painting.’ But it’s my painting, and when somebody says, ‘Why don’t you use more red instead of blue?’ Good-bye. It’s my painting. And I don’t care what they sell it for. The painting itself will never be finished. That’s one of the great things about it.”
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“It can be hard for extroverts to understand how badly introverts need to recharge at the end of a busy day. We all empathize with a sleep-deprived mate who comes home from work too tired to talk, but it’s harder to grasp that social overstimulation can be just as exhausting.”
― Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
― Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

“So what was the dierence between Alison and Jillian? Both were pseudo-extroverts, and you might say that Alison was trying and failing where Jillian was succeeding. But Alison’s problem was actually that she was acting out of character in the service of a project she didn’t care about. She didn’t love the law. She’d chosen to become a Wall Street litigator because it seemed to her that this was what powerful and successful lawyers did, so her pseudo-extroversion was not supported by deeper values. She was not telling herself, I’m doing this to advance work I care about deeply, and when the work is done I’ll settle back into my true self. Instead, her interior monologue was The route to success is to be the sort of person I am not. This is not self-monitoring; it is self-negation. Where Jillian acts out of character for the sake of worthy tasks that temporarily require a different orientation, Alison believes that there is something fundamentally wrong with who she is. It’s not always so easy, it turns out, to identify your core personal projects. And it can be especially tough for introverts, who have spent so much of their lives conforming to extroverted norms that by the time they choose a career, or a calling, it feels perfectly normal to ignore their own preferences. They may be uncomfortable in law school or nursing school or in the marketing department, but no more so than they were back in middle school or summer camp.”
― Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
― Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking

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