Jan Marquart's Blog - Posts Tagged "daughters"
Daughters
Every woman is a daughter and every daughter knows the powerful and enigmatic facets of her relationship with her mother. It is unlike any relationship she will ever have. It doesn't matter if daughters were raised by their mothers or not. Not being raised by their mothers is just as powerful for daughters as having been.
I wrote Echoes from the Womb, a Book for Daughters www.createspace.com/3546083 in order to help me understand myself better and what I had gone through with my mother. I wrote for a decade before I was able to assimilate the many kinds of experiences I had as a daughter. At first I had tried to understand my mother and her mother before her. Although that was interesting it wasn't very helpful in changing my pain into wisdom or a healing experience.
In order to do that I had to write about me, what was it like to be my mother's daughter, and what was it going to take to step into my own life without her and heal.
As a psychotherapist, I counseled too many women crying in my office about their relationships with their mothers. It was heartbreaking. I added some of these stories into the book.
I didn't want my book to be something women read and then slipped back on the shelf. I wanted it to be a book women used to guide them through their own experiences. In order to create that kind of book I thought it best to include writing tasks that would lead daughters into the depths of how their identities as women were formed and what the relationship with their mothers meant for them.
This book has dulled the pain I carried for most of my life in relationship to being my mother's daughter. It brought new revelations about who I am and who she was as a woman in her own skin. It showed me that my mother did the best she could and that I, too, did the best I could as her daughter. It showed me that my healing had nothing to do with her, where we were the same, and where we separated into our own identities.
I hope every teenage girl learns this point of difference. I hope every daughter knows where her own glory stands.
I wrote Echoes from the Womb, a Book for Daughters www.createspace.com/3546083 in order to help me understand myself better and what I had gone through with my mother. I wrote for a decade before I was able to assimilate the many kinds of experiences I had as a daughter. At first I had tried to understand my mother and her mother before her. Although that was interesting it wasn't very helpful in changing my pain into wisdom or a healing experience.
In order to do that I had to write about me, what was it like to be my mother's daughter, and what was it going to take to step into my own life without her and heal.
As a psychotherapist, I counseled too many women crying in my office about their relationships with their mothers. It was heartbreaking. I added some of these stories into the book.
I didn't want my book to be something women read and then slipped back on the shelf. I wanted it to be a book women used to guide them through their own experiences. In order to create that kind of book I thought it best to include writing tasks that would lead daughters into the depths of how their identities as women were formed and what the relationship with their mothers meant for them.
This book has dulled the pain I carried for most of my life in relationship to being my mother's daughter. It brought new revelations about who I am and who she was as a woman in her own skin. It showed me that my mother did the best she could and that I, too, did the best I could as her daughter. It showed me that my healing had nothing to do with her, where we were the same, and where we separated into our own identities.
I hope every teenage girl learns this point of difference. I hope every daughter knows where her own glory stands.
Are You Your Mother?
I'm sure you've had the comment surprisingly thrown at you that you 'act like your mother' then find your blood boiling from the remark. Although there is no doubt that women will always be similar to their mother's, they spend a good deal of their lives seeking their own identity.
Mother's Day is a little more than two month's away. Are you already preparing yourself for the visit? Here is an idea that might help you get ready.
Write for inner clarity. Spend 20 minutes finishing this statement: I don't want to be like you in the following ways... then spend 20 minutes writing: I want to be like you in the following ways...
Most of the time after daughters establish a boundary for where their mother's identity ends and theirs begins, visits are much easier to handle.
For more prompts on how to become your own woman and relate to your mother in a healthier way, check out Echoes From the Womb, a Book for Daughters. www.createspace.com/3546083 or www.JanMarquart.com.
Until next time,
Jan
Mother's Day is a little more than two month's away. Are you already preparing yourself for the visit? Here is an idea that might help you get ready.
Write for inner clarity. Spend 20 minutes finishing this statement: I don't want to be like you in the following ways... then spend 20 minutes writing: I want to be like you in the following ways...
Most of the time after daughters establish a boundary for where their mother's identity ends and theirs begins, visits are much easier to handle.
For more prompts on how to become your own woman and relate to your mother in a healthier way, check out Echoes From the Womb, a Book for Daughters. www.createspace.com/3546083 or www.JanMarquart.com.
Until next time,
Jan
Lunch with Mom: A Daughter's Soliloquy
What is it like to be your mother's daughter? This sounds simple to answer, doesn't it? But think again. If your answer involves a discussion about your mother -- you are on the wrong track. The answer lies in what you would say about being the daughter of your mother.
Try it. This exercise is quite revelatory. When I counsel women in conflict with their mothers they are shocked to see their lives as daughters have a line in the sand somewhere in their dreams or expectations that ache for a separate path from their mothers. Yes, daughters and mothers are inexplicably linked but on the quest for daughters to find out who they are separate from their mothers the path forward is not always predetermined.
Try it and see what you come up with.
Keep the pen moving,
Jan
Try it. This exercise is quite revelatory. When I counsel women in conflict with their mothers they are shocked to see their lives as daughters have a line in the sand somewhere in their dreams or expectations that ache for a separate path from their mothers. Yes, daughters and mothers are inexplicably linked but on the quest for daughters to find out who they are separate from their mothers the path forward is not always predetermined.
Try it and see what you come up with.
Keep the pen moving,
Jan
Lunch with Mom: A Daughter's Soliloquy
Hi all,
I wish you all a healthy and good-reading New Year for 2025. I'd love to hear about your favorite memoir. Meanwhile I want to say I've just written my second memoir and my 28th book. Lunch with Mom: A Daughter's Soliloquy was a difficult write and I hope you take the time to check it out.
What's your favorite memoir?
I wish you all a healthy and good-reading New Year for 2025. I'd love to hear about your favorite memoir. Meanwhile I want to say I've just written my second memoir and my 28th book. Lunch with Mom: A Daughter's Soliloquy was a difficult write and I hope you take the time to check it out.
What's your favorite memoir?
