Kellyn Roth's Blog: Kellyn Roth, Author

Hello folks! I am hosting a paperback sale for my author friends!

Welcome to the SUMMER SHELF SALE!

You can find the sale here:

Summer Shelf Sale

wildbluewonderpress.com/sale

The books included on this list are Christian or written by a Christian author and have no open door/spicy scenes, no unnecessarily crude language, no gratuitous violence, and any subjects discussed adhere to Biblical standards.

Please note that not all these titles are published by Wild Blue Wonder Press. The press does not necessarily endorse these products; however, they are all by independent Christian authors, who we love to support!

Many of my books are MAJORLY discounted. If you want to specifically check out my books, you can do so here:

http://wildbluewonderpress.com/shop

TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

In November of 2024, a girl started a blog post.

This blog post.

However, unfortunately, she dropped that blog post after 3 paragraphs and got distracted.

Here’s what she wrote:

As you all know, I make it a yearly habit to join NaNoWriMo, or in other words, challenge myself to write 50,000 words or more in a month. I’ve been doing this for about eleven years, by my count (since 2014), so I try to do it even in months when it’s not ideal.

So you’re probably going, “Ah, yes, Kell tried to do too much, and it was a challenge. What a shocker!” I know, that’s basically my whole life. However, this time, NaNoWriMo was supposed to be easy. I’d had years I’d completed NaNoWriMo even though it was a challenge, even though it was the worst possible time to be writing a novel.

But this year? 2024? I had a plan.

I completed 90% of my autumn deadlines in September and October. I did a lot of writing in September and October so other projects were out of the way. I went on vacation for over a week from all of my day jobs to intentionally have a writing retreat in the middle of the month.

So yeah, all the odds were in my favor.

I meant to go on to talk about how my 2024 NaNoWriMo went … interestingly … but was somehow still successful. Perhaps I was going to talk about what a struggle this was but how the “NaNoWriMo magic” (as I have often called it) carried me through, somehow, to 63,539 words written.

However, since then, NaNoWriMo has SHUT DOWN. They sent an announcement to at least part of their email lists (I never got the email; I just read it from screenshots!), never posted anything to their social media (that I saw, at least), and then just closed their website. Even the website said nothing 5 days before it shut down. I know, because I randomly hopped on and saved my stats before then, thank God!

Little warning was given. Users were barely warned. The organization pointed fingers everywhere but in the direction they should have pointed them.

You know, at the blatant mismanagement, pro-AI stances, ableism, alienation of various people groups, predatory/pedophilic behavior of authority figures going unchecked in their forums, moderator authority abuse … the list goes on. NaNoWriMo is an organization that has long been a mess. I’ve had some people say this wasn’t an issue until the last couple years, but I’ve experienced similar issues from this program since 2013, soooo … believe what you will.

But you know, really it’s the fault of “financial issues” (which is true but WHY) and “community vitriol” (which is true but WHY).

Regardless, there is no more NaNoWriMo. In case you don’t know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month and was a challenge, set in November, to write 50,000 words (or more!) in a month. It’s existed since 1999, so it did last 25 years before disappearing!

Literally disappearing.

Again, I’m not surprised, but I am a little … not even disappointed. I don’t let myself get disappointed by things that have consistently been disappointing since, you know, 2013. But I am a little … interesting-feeling.

I mean, I’ve won NaNoWriMo every year since November 2014 in additional to doing quite a few of their Camp NaNoWriMo challenges (so yeah, 11 times). I was a VERY active participant of the  YWP program. I’ve joined dozens of challenges and groups and “camps.” In total, I wrote over a million words and 20+ different projects via this organization. (Stats, for reference.)

And now it’s over.

I have faced a little criticism for always doing NaNoWriMo despite the fact that in many ways, the organization was both radical left and anti-creative.

I don’t agree with many things NaNoWriMo has shared and done. I’m especially disappointed with their response to both AI and the forum scandals to do with child grooming, both of which are inexcusable. That said, as I’ve pointed out in the past, using their name and their word trackers is not necessarily “supporting them,” per se, and I haven’t used a forum created by them since I left YWP at 16 or 17.

All the same, I’m glad NaNoWriMo is no longer causing harm with its mismanagement, and in truth, the writing community will probably end up being a better place without them.

But it has me thinking back on my NaNoWriMo history.

November 2014 ~ the beginning

In November 2014, I wrote 51,348 words, mostly of The Dressmaker’s Secret but also with a touch of rewriting.

I was shook.

I hadn’t believed I could do it. I hadn’t believed it was even possible.

Suddenly, writing had changed for me. It was like the clouds had parted and golden light had streamed over the source of writing power, leading me, the intrepid heroine, to the Promised Land of writing excellence.

I don’t know how this worked. I’m shocked I didn’t just waste time on the forums, but I didn’t. Instead, I wrote a whole book! (It was only about 38,911, so I have no idea what the 51,348 words were except perhaps rewrites I also counted? I’m not sure.)

But I was glowing with accomplishment. I decided then that I could write dozens of books a year and publish most of them.

Honestly, I wasn’t far off.

Anywho. *shoves proud Kell aside* It was great.

Interestingly enough, just about the only thing that hasn’t changed about TDS from draft 1 to draft 234 (slight exaggeration) is the first line:

“I knew that she must be home by now, which made sitting so still even more agonizing.” (Draft 1)

“Alice knew her mother must be home by now, which made sitting still even more agonizing.” (Final Published Version)

November 2015 ~ the continuation

Another year, another project that went swimmingly! Version one of Ivy Introspective came to 50,122 which is again confusing because I only saved 32,585 of the first draft, lol, but again, I transferred all this over from YWP in 2016 and my writing process was a little different, so I don’t know. I believe I probably wrote most of draft 2 in November, too, because I very quickly realized some elements weren’t working (mainly, not introducing McCale House until the last two chapters!).

By then, I’d written quite literally dozens of drafts of The Dressmaker’s Secret. Though I wouldn’t necessarily recommend every young writer rewrite and rewrite the same story, it worked for me because I rapidly learned exactly what I wanted to communicate and how to hone said messaging.

Ivy Introspective – then called Ivy Inquisitive – was a more solid draft. I still remember moments of struggle in NaNoWriMo 2015, but by then, I was outlining, I was prepping, I was dialed in. And I loved it! My first book was coming out in January of that year (*sad maniacal laugh*), and I was riding high.

November 2016-2017 ~ the secret sauce

This is when NaNoWriMo fell into a good rhythm for me. Both At Her Fingertips and Beyond Her Calling flew off the page! I ended NaNoWriMo 2016 with 65,978 and NaNoWriMo 2017 with 71,588 words.

I outlined pretty heavily, especially in November 2016, which helped me a lot. I spent most of my prep time in 2016 trying EVERYTHING, from character charts to color-coding to meticulous research notes. In 2017, I focused more on the things I had referenced the most, further hashing out my outlining process and keeping only what worked.

November 2018 ~ the miracle

2018 was a rough year for me. My grandfather died in October. I honestly didn’t think I could write in November.

As it turns out, grief is a great motivator for drafting. I was so lost and so broken-hearted. I barely wanted to be alive at that point for a number of reasons. So … I wrote. In total, I drafted 118,322 words in November 2018, more than I’ve ever written in a single month since.

They weren’t all good words, and honestly, some of the stories I drafted in that month (Souls Astray, a new draft of The Lady of the Vineyard and Flowers in Her Heart, etc.) still show the marks of my mental space at the time. But I’m glad I did it, and I do think it helped me work through some feelings.

November 2019 ~ the struggles begin

In November 2019, I wrote a mix of Ivy Introspective (from-scratch rewrites for the final publication) & A Broken Loyalty (a WWII thriller I got 58k of, all told, which, for reference, I cut down to 42,985 literally last month because I decided to do some quick edits). This was a weird year for me. Though I got 83,292, a respectable word count, I felt like I was let down by the quality of what I wrote. I was also trying a couple new techniques with A Broken Loyalty (turning all my text white and “writing blind” was one of them, along with a blatant use of WriteorDie), and it did teach me to consistently write 1,000 words in 10 minutes over and over again, but other than that, I don’t recommend it. Like I said, writing 58,497 to only keep 43,241 just doesn’t work for me. I also never finished that book, in part because until this year, I lacked the energy and objectivity to finish it!

That said, I feel I was less than objective in my feelings about this November. I mean, again, I did really well in terms of word count! I just wanted to do more.

November 2020-2021 ~ the rebound

In November 2020, I wrote 64,589 on The Duke’s Twin, which though smaller than previous wins, got me a decent first draft (though I still need to do major revisions but shh). I felt a little more steady on my feet. 2020 in general hadn’t been a bad year for me, despite all the mini personal tragedies and the big exterior nonsense going on … okay, it had been a bad year in some ways, but writing was going well. *shrug* This was my first Author Conservatory project, and I underwrote it. When I finish it, this is gonna be a 100k book, I swear.

In 2021, I also did super well, though more in the “I wrote way too much” way. I had less work to do at that point, since I was on a break from several of my jobs and living in a tiny apartment with my new husband, and I wrote 124,450 on After Our Castle and … other stores. *squints* After Our Castle is complete at 81,801, so I went digging through my blog posts to figure out what I wrote, and it turns out it was some wrapup for A Prayer Unanswered, but I know there was something else, too. My Fair Marchioness? I kinda thought it was that, but I didn’t mention it.

November 2022-2024 ~ the final trilogy of struggling

THE HILTON LEGACY, MAN! THESE BOOKS!

Literally all 65r8439058324906890 drafts (that’s a number right) and all of them TERRIBLE, BUT I HAVE CONQUERED THIS STUPID TRILOGY.

Every time, I struggled to write. Every time, the story ran off and did its own thing. Every time, I finished the book some time in January. Every time, I barely squeaked by with the words I wanted.

The November word counts were:

68,610 (Like a Ship on the Sea)
51,757 (Like the Air After Rain)
63,539 (Book 3)

Having completed them all some time in the year AFTER I was supposed to complete them, and then done copious revisions on all of them, I’m currently at:

96897
93473
93856 (… and growing)

ASK ME WHY I HATE THIS TRILOGY.

GO ON.

I DARE YOU.

*spits, kicks, and throws a general tantrum*

Okay, but seriously, the Hiltons are going to send me to an early grave.

But I’m almost done. Whew.

Anyways, I do think NaNoWriMo is still helping me even in this season of difficulty writing, and I also think that a lot of my mental health has not helped the situation. Plus, NaNoWriMo feels less fun than it used to. Partly because I’m way too busy now to give the community the same mind I used to (despite wanting to), and partly because I always have something come up (sickness, job difficulties or simply busy seasons at jobs, mental health issues, the Hilton siblings, did I mention the Hilton siblings).

I’m not mad; I’m just disappointed.

But I wish I knew 2024, my 11th NaNoWriMo, was my last one, technically.

Because now … it’s over.

November 2025 …? ~ and onward

Or not?

I don’t know, honestly.

I’m curious to know WHAT I’ll do in November 2025. Presumably KDWC and similar camps will still exist, so I may join one of them, but sometimes I struggle to handle the chaos. I’ll really miss NaNoWriMo’s specific word count tracker, so I’m on the lookout for an alternative (let me know if you know one that’s easy to use and shows a bunch of different stats) or else I’ll make my own. That may be the best alternative, honestly – I’ve become spreadsheet-savvy-ish. Sort of.

Anywho.

Slight update after abandoning this blog post.

No, it didn’t take me long.

Do you like it?

So I guess I have that now.

NaNoWriMo has nothing on my ability to find random Reddit threads that tell me how to do things (this is not a skill I have on my own haha). This is probably more useable than their dumb website that crashed on me every sixteen seconds and never loaded when I had 2 minutes to go until midnight.

In all seriousness, I am going to miss that stupid glitchy website, as you know I’ve never been a huge spreadsheet person (lol), but life moves on.

I say that but my spreadsheets have actually become a joke to my friends, hence:

You know how Lorelei is Type B in every way except the two ways she decided to be Type A for fifteen minutes every day?

… yeah. That’s me.

Anyways, I thought this belonged on the blog because NaNoWriMo has been so discussed on this blog!

TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

Hello folks! I am hosting a paperback sale for my author friends!

Do you have paperbacks of your books that you need to sell? Are your bookshelves overflowing with the weight of author copies? Join this sale to while promoting like-minded authors!

Note: this sale is for direct paperback sales, not Amazon (or other retailer) sales. This can be as complex as a website shop (like mine) or accepting payments via something like Venmo or Paypal, which can be accomplished without a web store.

What will the sale entail?During the month of July (or part of July; I’ll do the full month + continue advertising even after I run out of copies for your sake!), we’re advertising a paperback sale! These can be signed or unsigned, with or without merch, but they should be sold directly from you, the author. Personally, I will be ONLY selling copies I already have and “ending my sale” if/when I run out, to create more urgency, but you can decide what you do. You could also create a time limit (say, you only sale copies in the second week of July). Basically, it’s your decision what you do.You decide how much you discount your paperback copies. Basically, do something to prompt more sales! Even a tiny sale, a promo code, or a book bundle could increase interest. You could also just choose to advertise at your regular prices, if you are simply unable to afford sales pricing.I’ll provide graphics, example posts/email text, and a gathering-place for all the links/info! Basically, I’ll create a page on my website with links to all the books and authors as well as creating graphics/example text for you to reshare with promo pictures, book covers, etc. I’ll also highlight all the authors and their sales on my Instagram profile (3.3k followers) individually over the course of the month of July as well as sharing this sale to my email list (1.8k subscribers) and blog (1.6k subscribers). Hopefully, this will give us some decent reach!How to participate?

There are 3 steps:

Fill out this form . This is primarily to give me a place to email you for information + to allow me to add you to a group chat on Instagram.Email the following to [email protected] before June 30th: the book covers or a photo of the books you’re selling; a brief description of what you write (e.g. “Kellyn Roth writes historical romance for new adult Christian women that explores the highs and lows of a God-honoring life with truth and tact”); and a link to wherever you want readers directed to buy a book from you (a website page; a social media profile if absolutely necessary; basically, somewhere where they can either directly buy or find instructions on how to buy your book!). I will also need to know the terms of your sale (e.g. 10% off store wide, these 2 novels discounted until DATE, if your sale will only be live for a part of the month, delays in shipping while you’re on vacation, et cetera).Share about the sale! As I note below, you are not required to highlight every single author and every single book; however, sharing one post or sending one email is a requirement. You’re welcome to do more; however, I know we’re all busy, and it’s enough to manage a store front.

For those of you on Instagram, I’ll also be adding you to an Instagram group chat so we can support each other, brainstorm marketing tactics, etc. That said, you are welcome to mute it if it doesn’t prove helpful to you.

What books are we accepting?

On Genres:

All genres will be accepted with the exception of genres that by their nature do not conform to the content levels below. Yes, you can share your nonfiction/poetry/etc., too!

On Content Levels:

To keep this simple, any book included in this sale must be PG-13 or below. No open door/spicy scenes, no unnecessarily crude language, no gratuitous violence, and any subjects discussed should adhere to Biblical standards to the best of the author’s abilities. Books don’t have to be written for a Christian audience, but I want to avoid promoting books that are not acceptable to a Christian audience (which many of the authors in this promo are targeting). That said, I leave it up to you (the author) to determine what God-honoring means and advertise your books to the correct audience. I won’t be policing you!

On Cross-Promotion:

Since PG-13 is somewhat of a wide range, and I know some of you are targeting younger audiences, please feel free to include whatever (kind) disclaimers you must or simply avoid mentioning/promoting books that would not resonate with your audience. This is in the best interests of all of us, as we don’t want to disappoint readers with unclear marketing!

On Other Items:

Some of us also do merch, services, etc. I won’t be creating graphics or specifically advertising these, but if you want to advertise these things along with your paperback sale, you’re welcome to do so!

Please let me know if you have any questions! <3 I’m so excited to get to know all you lovely authors and help you market your books!

TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

Hey everyone! Guess what? Today Like the Air After Rain is launched out into the world, meaning you can purchase Like the Air After Rain on Amazon (paperback, ebook, Kindle Unlimited) or on my website!

Wow. What a journey this book has been. Much like book 1, Like a Ship on the Sea, this story was a monster to write and revise. However, once the truly sweet and desperately sad gold at the core was revealed, it’s become one of my favorite stories and yet another one that feels like a “just for me!” story.

But it’s not. It’s also a gift to you, my dear reader! I hope you enjoy Lorelei and Aubrey’s story and that it encourages you on your own journey with Christ.

Lorelei’s story is not an easy one. It’s that of a little girl struggling to emerge from the uncertainty and neglect and self-hatred that marked her childhood and find true peace and rest. And, because nothing is simple, it’s also Aubrey’s story … his struggles with being the husband he wants to be, with loving his wife as he knows (deep down) that he should, and with taking a stand for what is good and true, even if it means inconvenience and awkwardness and having to fight for what’s rest.

As a fellow work-a-holic, I understand Lorelei deeply. We’re not the same person, and we share some remarkable differences (the biggest one is that I want to be a mother, and she isn’t interested in parenthood, but there are others), but we also have a lot in common.

We’re both stubborn. Both fiercely independent. We both struggle with various family members in different ways, oscillating between anger and a deep sadness. We both are fiercely loyal to those we do love, to the point of not seeing or believing in their faults. We both love our jobs, and we both work ourselves to the point of exhaustion. We’re both very bad at listening to our bodies’ cues, eating and drinking what we ought, and sleeping enough. We’re both grouchy in the morning. We both consume too much coffee.

And both of us believe that we can do better by ourselves, and that we are the most competent person for whatever job is set before us, while secretly ALSO believing that a) we fail way too often, much more often than the average person, and b) the fact that we fail means that we are no longer worthy.

And you know what? It might not be true, but it is a lie I know a lot of you have believed, too. That your worth is tied to what you do and how well you handle things and … well, it’s not good.

It’s exhausting for me, and I know it’s exhausting for Lorelei, too.

So I invite you into the pages of Lorelei’s story, and into a deep rest in the Lord, Who certainly did not lie when He said, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

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What if nothing’s left after the storm fades?

Aubrey Montgomery has three problems: the care of his adolescent sisters, the managing of his household, and his own loneliness. Over two years have passed since he was rejected by Cassie Hilton. Although he no longer trusts himself to love a woman properly, he could settle for an amicable partnership—if the right woman came along.

Lorelei Hilton only has one problem that she knows of: her manipulative and controlling father is arranging a marriage to a spineless boy in order to maintain the family business—and keep it out of her very determined, very female hands. But if Lorelei can’t force her way through a door, she’ll crawl in a window. To rescue herself and her sister, she sails off to England in search of a man with the gumption to stand up to her father.

After a chance meeting and an intense contract negotiation, Lorelei and Aubrey agree to a marriage of convenience. As they grow closer and struggle through the trials of their utilitarian arrangement, Aubrey is left with a question. Can the sacrament of marriage be entirely practical—or is there something otherworldly about it?

Like the Air After Rain is the second novel in The Hilton Legacy, a stand-alone trilogy featuring characters from the author’s first series, The Chronicles of Alice and Ivy.

Buy it directly from me:
https://wildbluewonderpress.com/shop/

Or on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CW1C82M6

And make sure you add it on Goodreads:
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/220670156-like-the-air-after-rain

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Note: did you preorder Like the Air After Rain on Amazon (Kindle)? Please reach out to me at [email protected] to receive your digital preorder goodies!

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The Giveaways

Our grand prize giveaway is open for US and international and features EIGHT novels in paperback! Whew! I hope y’all get a chance to enter using the link below!

Enter the Blog Giveaway Using the Link Below!

http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/cbb544c923/

Then we have ANOTHER giveaway … this one is for Instagram followers only and is also only available to US entries because shipping/potential tariffs/etc. are the worst.

Head over to @wildbluewonderpress enter for a chance to win book 1 in the series, bookmarks, a candle, and printed character art! (Three winners will be selected; US entries only.)

I hope you enjoy these giveaways! They were a lot of fun to put together!

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The Media Tour Schedule

Interested in seeing all the posts in the media tour? Here are the links:

Thursday, May 1st (LAUNCH DAY)

Intro Post & Giveaway at Kellyn Roth, Author (Lilacs & Reveries Blog)

Interview with Michaela Bush at Tangled Up in Writing (Blog)

Friday, May 2nd

Interview with Sara A. Thren (Instagram)

Book Review with M.C. Kennedy (Instagram)

Book Review with E.G. Bella (Instagram)

Saturday, May 3rd

Book Spotlight with Lydia Smith (YouTube)

Book Spotlight with Abby McKenna (Instagram)

Sunday, May 4th

Rest Day!

Monday, May 5th

Character Interview (Lorelei) with Courtney at Pens, Pages, & Pulses (Blog)

Guest Post (Writing Characters You Don’t Agree With) with Katja @ Little Blossoms for Jesus (Blog)

Book Spotlight with @reading_is_my_remedy (Instagram)

Book Spotlight with Abigail Hawthorne (Instagram)

Tuesday, May 6th

Guest Post with Lillian Keith (Blog)

Book Review with Jana T. at Reviews from the Stacks (Blog)

Book Spotlight with Olivia Godfrey (Instagram)

Guest Post with Grace A. Johnson (Blog)

Wednesday, May 7th

Review (Like the Air After Rain) with Sara A. Thren (Instagram)

Interview with Cate V. @ Southern Story Scribbler (Blog)

Guest Post (Writing Imperfect Characters with Purpose) with Emma Donovan (Instagram)

Character Interview (Lorelei) with Saraina Whitney (Instagram)

Note: Kellyn Roth’s wrapup on her blog ( https://kellynrothauthor.com/blog ) will be posted some time after Wednesday to allow for a giveaway wrapup! It may be a bit because I have some exciting plans that weekend. <3

And that’s about it for now! Love all of you, and thank you for following along with me on this crazy journey.

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If you’re new here, well, here’s a little about me …

About the Author

Kellyn Roth is the author of ten historical romance novels with strong Christian themes, a touch of humor, and messy situations that put the main characters through the wringer and force them to face hard questions. Kell is the founder and owner of Wild Blue Wonder Press, a small press with the mission of sharing fictional stories full of grace and truth. Her goal is to create stories that matter, to delve into the deepest and sometimes the saddest parts of life, and to return from the darkest valleys resplendent in the light of hope and the fullness of joy. When not building her author career, Kellyn is likely drinking iced coffee with her husband, getting lost somewhere in the Pacific Northwest with her friends, or watching period dramas and facetious comedies with her border collie.

Newsletter: https://kellynrothauthor.com/newsletter/
Store: https://wildbluewonderpress.com/shop/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/kellynrothauthor
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/author/kellynroth
Instagram: https://instagram.com/kellynrothauthor/
Facebook: https://facebook.com/kellynrothauthor/
BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/kellyn-roth

TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

Kellyn Roth here, and today I’m joined by H.S. Kylian to talk about Romance in Christian Fiction once more!

The posts in this series are as follows:

Why Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part I Why Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part II: Myths & Facts Forced vs. Organic Romance Why ‘You Complete Me’ Is Nonsense (⇦ you are here)Under-Discussed Topics In Romance Novels

However, in this blog post, Hannah and I will be discussing why ‘You Complete Me’ as a concept is not founded in reality—and therefore, in the interests of truth and godliness, should not be found in Christian romance, as such.

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Hannah: The only clip I have ever seen of the movie Jerry Maguire is the clip that’s shown in the The LEGO Batman movie: “You…complete me.”

It’s played as a joke both times, and honestly, that sentiment really is a joke per the Christian worldview, specifically in regards to romance. Whenever a romance book or movie has a character saying, “You complete me,” it’s not only super cheesy but also completely ridiculous. As Christians, we’re already each complete in Christ.

Though the Bible does say that ‘two shall become one flesh’, it’s not saying that as though those two are incomplete on their own as people, and it’s certainly not saying they’re incomplete on their own as Christians. They’re still each an individual. 

And remember, when God created Eve, He preceded it by saying, “I will make a helper fit for him.” Not another half. 

Kellyn: The thing is, I do get where this comes from. When one is in a romantic relationship, sometimes it just feels just right. Like you can’t imagine your world without that other person in it! They’re your other half—right?!

And I argue it should feel that way, somewhat. I mean, hey, you want to love your husband or wife! And you want any characters you write about or read about to reflect that love. But we must steer away from the dangerous, unbiblical idea that perfection can be achieved in another person—or at all, apart from Christ.

Further, when we write or consume stories that portray an element of perfection, of happily-ever-after that doesn’t include reality, of “completion” in another human being, we create those unrealistic expectations Christians are always so worried about.

Because no, reading well-written, realistic, godly romance does not create unrealistic expectations in young women, unless we think love is unrealistic (God might have something to say about that!). However, if we’re trying to sell readers the idea that one human being can be completed in another, well, we’re failing as authors and as Christians; we’re abusing the gift God has given us as writers and dragging our readers into a world that simply doesn’t exist.

Another thing that comes to mind when discussing this topic is the way the church deals with singleness. We kind of act like getting married is the epitome of life, don’t we?

And that bothers me, because a) the Bible encourages singleness for those who are so called, b) we don’t earn marriage by our good conduct (if that’s true, I sure shouldn’t be married!), and c) being married will not solve all your problems.

When we say or even think of concepts along the lines of “you complete me!” we are buying into that nonsense idea that marriage will solve your problems.

Well, okay, it might solve a few problems, if you’re escaping a vicious pirate and need protection or your father has once again gambled away the family fortune, leaving you with few options—but believe it or not, that just doesn’t come up too often these days. And all joking aside, if marriage solves some problems, it’s sure to create just as many.

Marriage is a blessing. It can be an incredible relationship that has so many benefits. But you have to go into it expecting to feel “iron sharpens iron” worked out in real life right before your eyes! Entering marriage with the idea that it’ll be all sunshine and daisies is going to lead to disappointment.

But entering marriage knowing it will be hard—but good and holy—is much more realistic. Of course, you don’t want to go into it thinking it’ll be so hard that your pessimism tears you to pieces—I’ve made that mistake, and I do believe in the concept of speaking life, speaking truth, and not letting the darkness drag you down into negative thoughts.

We so often hear nothing but dour warnings from our elders—and though there is truth in them, there is also another truth: even in the pain, there is so much hope and life to be found. Most squabbles over where the rubber ducks have to be stored (not speaking from personal experience; my husband and I are in 100% agreement that they deserve primary placement in our household) will be resolved sooner than you think, especially if you enter every potential conflict with a spirit of teamwork, not viewing your spouse as your enemy, but as your truest friend.

But that little sermon aside, I just wanted to say that while there is good to be found in marriage, coming at it with an attitude of “marriage will complete me” is so unhealthy and has led to so much discontent in both single and married women.

Give yourself a break; ditch that attitude.

Hannah: If you find that your characters are getting to this point, you might need to have them step back a bit. Something along those lines happened to Jonathan & Nicki prior to her leaving Marigold Hills after their high school graduation. At that point in time, they were around 18-19 and had grown closer as friends in the years since Jonathan lost his mom and brother and Nicki lost her dad (the only parent she had left). 

However, this period of time also included them having a growing attraction to each other, but before any sort of admission could happen, they had begun to realize that maybe they were seeing the other as more of a crutch than an actual person. Yet instead of working things out, they basically shoved it to the side, she moved away, and though they still kept in touch, they didn’t bother touching the elephant in the room until she moved back to Marigold Hills. 

Kellyn: When it comes to the actual writing of Christian romance, practically speaking, we can of course avoid using the words or portraying situations that lend to the concept of “you complete me,” but to take it a step further, what does it look like to write a romance that is free of that harmful idea—but still realistic to the “two become one flesh” concept that we Christians believe in?

Well, for one thing, we want to give our characters realistic strengths and weaknesses. We want them to have a personality and an identity apart from each other—and more than that, a relationship with Christ apart from each other.

As they develop a relationship, showing the characters continue their relationship with Christ both separately and together will also help. After all, it’s not “a cord of two strands is not quickly broken;” it’s “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” I’m guessing a cord of two strands is a lot easier to snap! So don’t make your characters’ relationship snappable!

But you can’t neglect any one of those cords. Including God in the relationship is important, but God never made a “love interest;” just people. Make sure both of your characters are unique, interesting, and active in the story. Particularly, female writers, don’t go writing “heroes” that are more like “wishful-thinking-fake-mirage-men-that-don’t-really-exist.” Even if you’re writing from the perspective of one character or another, make sure you develop that secondary character well.

In conclusion, “you complete me” doesn’t belong in Christian romance in any form, but there is a lot of value in showing a strong, loving marriage (or marriage-to-be) in which God is at the center, completing the couple’s covenant relationship.

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TTFN!

~Kell~

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Forbidden love … the Romeo & Juliet of the romance tropes. It’s not exactly the most beloved trope there ever was! But in truth, forbidden love can add an interesting aspect to your romance story … if done correctly.

However, because this trope is slightly overused (yes, I’ll say it!) and has gone out of fashion due to societal shifts (yes, I’ll say it again!), it does take some skill to bring anything new or interesting to this ancient (I mean that in a good way …) trope!

Hello, I’m Kellyn Roth, and I’m the author of this blog. Today, I’m here to talk about a trope for R.M. Archer’s Valentine’s Day romance collaboration. I did this last year and talked about second-chance romance, so why not talk about the other trope behind my debut novel, The Dressmaker’s Secret, this year: forbidden love!

First, here are links to the other posts in the collab:

Mon, February 10 – Marriage of convenience – L.E. MorganTue, February 11 – Best friends-to-lovers – R.M. ArcherWed, February 12 – Childhood sweethearts – M.C. KennedyThu, February 13 – Opposites attract – Grace JohnsonFri, February 14 – Fake dating – Nicki Chapelway

 

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An Introduction to Forbidden Love

Romeo & Juliet is the layperson’s introduction to forbidden love, but it’s found in so many novels, plays, movies, even poems and songs that it is probably one of the most popular or common tropes there is simply by sheer longevity.

Shakespeare introduced the common man to many romance tropes, honestly – enemies to lovers/second chance romance (Much Ado About Nothing), love at first sight (… pretty much always), miscommunication (… yeah, all of them), third act breakup (…), rags to riches (several, but notably Twelfth Night), mistaken identity (several, see Comedy of Errors), and so on.

The thing is, though, that of all of these, Romeo & Juliet is probably the most realistic one.

*ducks and hides*

Okay, seriously. In this era, and for many hundreds of years before and after, there was probably a decent amount of forbidden love whenever two young things managed to spend any amount of time together because:

A lot more marriages were arranged.Even if marriages weren’t arranged, marriage was more often entered into for practical reasons. (Not everyone you meet is going to be the MOST practical person to marry.)

Ignoring all the themes and subplots and context surrounding Romeo & Juliet, and there is a lot more than “two teens do dumb stuff,” the forbidden love aspect is not at all separated from reality.

The thing is, this trope is not just used in Romeo & Juliet nor was it the first story to use this trope. In this era, and almost since the dawn of humanity, this has been a common way of telling a love story.

Because, after all, what is more tragic than this simple historic fact: sometimes people would love and admire someone else far more than the person you actually have to marry. Storytellers have always, always liked to both warn overbearing parents from taking too heavy a hand with their poor children and milk the drama, rather the story ends improbably happily or typically horribly.

Yet this is a trope that is often associated with immaturity or melodrama. So I find myself asking these two questions:

Is there a reason beyond Romeo & Juliet that we associate this trope with immaturity?And does it have a place in our modern day world?

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Examples of the Forbidden Love Trope

Romeo & Juliet is of course the classic story we think of, and variations of it have been used and reused throughout history. It’s a classic story that’s been retold in many ways, including but not limited to West Side Story and that one Lion King sequel. It’s a classic story!

Other examples of forbidden love in fiction include Persuasion by Jane Austen, though technically every one of Jane Austen’s novels has some degree of forbidden love, from Pride & Prejudice to Northanger Abbey.

Almost like Jane Austen lived in and understood the era she wrote about. Funny how things work like that.

However, again, due to the historical context mentioned earlier, there are hundreds of examples of forbidden love in classic novels. Stories like Wuthering Heights or even Jane Eyre use elements of this trope. It’s a common backstory for the sad characters (old maids in particular seem to have a lot of forbidden love going on in classic novels!) and a common tale for a side character.

In the modern world, we all thing of Titanic (good job holding on, Rose). The trope has also been used effectively in a lot of workplace comedies as employee-relations rules can sometimes give us a decent forbidden love subplot. Parks & Rec and The Office both come to mind.

In my own writing, I’ve included this trope in The Dressmaker’s Secret (backstory of a main character), Like a Ship on the Sea (primary romance), and my upcoming (2026) novel, Like Lightning in a Bottle. Every time, I’ve done it a little differently!

Other examples I haven’t read or watched but know of vaguely:

Five Feet ApartThe Night CircusEleanor & ParkDirty Dancing (or maybe I have watched this one, but I don’t actively remember it … seems like the kind of movie I would have watched)The NotebookTwilight

Basically … you can find thousands of them. Just look!

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The Immaturity Association

Whenever something is popular, it becomes cheapened to some readers.

Whenever something is popular, it is used enough that someone who has no idea how to write a book or script uses it.

Whenever something is popular, you must take time to sift through some bad on the way to the good.

But something being popular does not mean it is inherently bad.

Bad interpretations of Romeo & Juliet’s tropes – but also other books and films over the hundreds and hundreds of years – have cheapened this trope that can have so much value into something that is just, well, teenage melodrama.

By the time we hit our twenties, we may have sympathy for teenage melodrama, but most of us are ready to have our hormones settle down a little. Unless we have a certain nostalgia for it, we’re less invested in whether or not Bella gets to sleep with a hot vampire dude or a hot werewolf dude and more invested in stories that feel a little less … uh …

Uh …

I don’t have words. I was too young for Twilight, y’all.

But here’s a secret: I have loved West Side Story (retelling of Romeo & Juliet set in New York in the 20th century and featuring an honest look at the racism of the era) since I was a tiny little child, and I honestly believe it still holds up today.

I just now am an adult who recognizes that the real tragic love story is Anita and Bernardo. (BERNARDO!!!!!!!! *weeps*)

Yeah, today, the forbidden love in West Side Story, though understandable and horribly tragic, is just a little too rushed to be relatable or interesting. Also, now that I’m an adult, Tony is nothing but a pretty face. I want a real man. (Bernardo. I want Bernardo.) Instead, the brilliant themes, charming side characters, epic songs and performances, and perfect scoring make this musical a perfect classic.

But even in a great show like this, again, the forbidden love aspect? It’s just … it’s Romeo & Juliet. And you Shakespeare nerds can come after me with all your “context” and “the actual meaning of the play” and “it’s a moral about …” but you can’t make me believe that watching any adaptation of Romeo & Juliet is entertaining, interesting, or enlightening because of the title characters.

So how do you make this trope bearable? I argue you start by answering a question:

Why is the romance more important than duty … or common sense … or staying alive?

In Jane Austen’s novels, it isn’t. Though sometimes sacrifices are made for love (Edward in Sense & Sensibility, Henry in Northanger Abbey), at the end of the day, the couple needs to eat. I mean, Bingley couldn’t even go against his best friend to marry Jane. Sacrifice is not the theme of Austen’s works; it’s finding a way around the obstacles that still makes sense and doesn’t lead to situations like that of Fanny’s parents in Mansfield Park, which is subtly frowned upon, though not more so than the cruelty of the Bertram family.

Actually, in some ways, that’s a big part of the trope historically speaking. Choosing love over duty or common sense or staying alive meant that, well, you wouldn’t stay alive. You’d be left a crazed waif wondering the Yorkshire moors, possibly jumping into graves, et cetera.

I feel like we’ve moved away from a good thing.

But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be that way. I mean, if all else fails, be Jane Austen. But even without perfectly emulating the best romance writer ever, there are a lot of ways that forbidden love can add to a book, especially if we’re willing to go the extra mile and develop a great story!

With attitudes toward marriage and romance having changed over the past two hundred years or so, is the forbidden love trope washed out? I argue it’s not. There are a lot of ways to make forbidden love work in your stories! You just have to take time to make it actually good.

I’ll share some of my best tips at the end, but first I wanted to talk about some tropes and do (or do not) go well with forbidden love.

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Tropes That Complement or Deepen Forbidden Love

Second Chance Romance

As featured in Persuasion, second chance romance is one of those tropes that complements forbidden love very well. Having forbidden love as a past trope, and having it not have gone well, can mean that second chance romance gives the trope a new life and allows the main characters to have, well, a second chance at love!

Friends to Lovers

Because friends to lovers gives the main characters a history, it can add a lot to the forbidden love trope. It removes the pesky problem in many Romeo & Juliet stories – we’re all feeling a little too old for the way romance is typically handled in fairytales; we want something deeper.

Office Romance (or any similar environment)

Again, maybe this is just because I’ve seen it featured in sitcoms so often, but I feel like this trope makes forbidden love more accessible and less dramatic. It gives readers or watchers an easy reason why the main characters can’t get together but doesn’t feel as heavy as “my family likes to stab your family.”

Enemies to Lovers

… okay, hear me out.

I know forbidden love is based on, well, love, but falling in love with your enemy can give forbidden love a unique twist!

It doesn’t always work, though, because you have to actually develop a romance and not just a wish fulfillment “they were sword-fighting and then they KISSED” thing.

Arguably, Elizabeth and Darcy fit this trope.

Chosen One

If you’re writing a fantasy, and your Chosen One has responsibilities that keep him or her for engaging in a romance, forbidden love makes sense. Just make sure your hero or heroine doesn’t literally give up the kingdom for their love interest. That’s not a good look. You’re gonna want to take an Austen approach to this – no sacrifice should actually endanger anyone.

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Tropes That Can Complement or Cheapen Forbidden Love

Friends to Lovers

I know, I know, I’m listing it again. But much as friends to lovers can work with forbidden love, I’ve also seen it done badly.

You don’t want you reader asking, “Why was she allowed to be friends with a stable boy but not marry him?” or whatever the case may be.

Secret friends to lovers or a unique situation can work in your favor, but you don’t want to stretch believability too far.

Bad Boy/Playboy/Rake/Whatever

Lydia Bennet, Marianne Dashwood, Georgiana Darcy, Eliza Williams, Isabella Thorpe, Maria Bertram.

That’s all.

Best Friend’s Brother/Sister/Third Cousin Twice Removed

I just … I’m sorry. Why don’t you want your best friend to be your brother/sister, too??

Alternately, why are you such a hypocrite if he/she (usually he …) is good enough to be your friend but not good enough for your sibling?

Love at First Sight

I just … IT DOESN’T WORK.

IT DOESN’T WORK, OKAY??!!

All right, I have known people who were convinced this is a thing, but barring a literal miracle, I don’t think it is.

Age Gap

Be careful with this one if the reason for the forbidden love is the age gap. That gives all the wrong vibes, even if the age gap is insignificant.

Boss-Employee (or other power imbalance)

Same as Age Gap. It’s just kind of icky if everyone is advising against a relationship and the main characters are soooo sure it’s a good idea.

That said, it can work if there’s no real power imbalance, it’s done well, etc. I mean, again, sit coms can sometimes make it work.

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My Top Tips for Writing the Forbidden Love Trope

Give your characters and their relationship time to develop

Don’t rush it! The more rushed your romance is, and the less screen time your characters have together, the more readers are going to roll their eyes at the insistence on the longing and angst of forbidden love. If you create well-rounded characters who have legitimate chemistry and actually care about each other for who they are, you’ll bypass a lot of the complaints readers will have about this trope.

Use drama sparingly, as needed

The ceaseless teenage melodrama is another reason readers will shy away from forbidden love as adults. The truth is, we don’t need pages of pining and moping to get the point. In fact, that’s not very healthy! Instead, use drama like a seasoning. (I know y’all use too much seasoning, but you shouldn’t.) It’s not the main course, but it can add a lot IF it’s not overdone!

Make your world & the actions your characters take in that world make sense

Whatever external force that is keeping your characters apart needs to make sense, and the choice should not be immediately obviously as to whether it would be better for these characters to risk it all or not.

Part of the reason we love Jane Austen’s novels is not because every female character throws caution to the wind and runs off with any George Wickham or Mr. Willoughby who makes puppy eyes at them (oh wait …). Forbidden love needs to make sense in the context of your world … and the decisions your character makes need to be logical to the reader unless you’re writing a drama where everyone dies in the end. (Your call, man, but that’s not really a romance.)

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Specific Tips for Christian Romance

Because you know I had to talk about it, right?

Here are some specific things to keep in mind when writing Christian romance with the forbidden love trope:

“Love never fails” … but love is not love if it requires the lover or the loved to do something immoral.

Betrayal, infidelity, lies, sexual sin, etc., don’t become okay because of love. Your characters can (and should!) sin because they’re human. However, you can’t just let it slide in Christian romance. It needs to be addressed, and it certainly can’t be glorified. If you truly love someone, you will not ask them to sin for you or sin for them.

Basically:

Tristan and Iseult

I’m so tired of the two of you.

No, I don’t have anything else to say.

Respect toward parents and authority figures?

… yes. Yes, to a degree, especially as minors, this is a consideration. Too often, this kind of behavior is brushed under the rug even in Christian stories if the parent is a little mean, but the command to obey our parents wasn’t conditional on parent being “a little mean.”

However, I’d probably be a lot less strict about it than most Christians, personally. First, I don’t believe that God would ask us to stay in abusive relationships, enabling the sin of another human being. Second, sometimes our parents ask us to sin, and we can’t do that, and sometimes our parents seek control they should not have when we are adults, and we can’t do that.

However, everyone has their own convictions on this subject, and this must be taken into consideration when you’re writing a romance where parental disapproval is involved.

But I’m not going to let the Regency mamas win.

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In conclusion, forbidden love can be a great, subtle trope, or an overblown, dramatic trope. How you execute it is what matters!

Do you have a favorite novel that features “forbidden romance”?

TTFN!

~Kell~

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Hello everyone!

Welcome to Lilacs & Reveries where once again, H.S. Kylian and I are talking about romance to celebrate February, Valentine’s Day, and the novels that feature romantic relationships, so let’s dive into this month’s collabs and what you can expect.

The posts in question are titled: Why Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part IWhy Last Minute Romance Cheats Readers – Part II: Myths & Facts (⇦ you are here)Forced vs. Organic RomanceWhy ‘You Complete Me’ Is NonsenseUnder-Discussed Topics In Romance Novels

For today’s post, you can find part 1 over on Hannah’s blog here, so make sure you read that one before hopping back to finish part 2!

I’ll be sharing my thoughts in this color, and Hannah will be sharing her thoughts in this color.

Without further ado, here are the “myths” about the last-minute romance.

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Myth: Readers want the character to be married with kids at the end, so I have to include it even if it doesn’t really fit the story!

Fact: Just because I (Kell) want this doesn’t mean everyone does! I do love to see a happily married couple with a couple kids at the end because that’s my happily ever after. That said, I acknowledge that it is not EVERYONE’S happily ever after. There are many blessings to remaining single!

Further, it’s worth considering the individual character and even the plot. Just because they’re not together in the epilogue doesn’t mean they won’t eventually find someone to settle down with! We don’t have to leave our characters with EVERYTHING in their life resolved, tempting as that might be for a variety of reasons.

The truth is, even if you believe a happily ever after with kids and a mini van is ideal (like I do!) and even if that’s what your characters would want, if you haven’t in some way set up either their desire for marriage or children or both, it can feel a little cheap. Because our focus is on romance, I’ll specifically say that unless you take the time to show a solid foundation of friendship with a hint of something more (the chemistry, the ease with each other, perhaps even the attraction if age appropriate), the romance at the end just won’t make any sense!

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Myth: It takes a LOT of work to write a romantic subplot, so I’d have to basically overhaul my story if I wanted to make it effective.

Fact: Oftentimes romance is tied up in the little things. If you add a few little things, your reader will probably catch on. Just make sure they’re not completely platonic, or if they are, it’s clear there’s something more there!

Here are a few ideas, some of which are very obvious and some of which are more subtle!

A quick glance. Holding eye contact longer than necessary.Blushing, stuttering, generally being flustered. Laughing at all their dumb jokes! Or being the only one who shares their unique sense of humor.Attraction! This can be as simple as noticing details that the character normally wouldn’t—her hair is pretty, his eyes are this fantastic green, she wore a different dress today. It can be more obvious, too, but a little goes a long way. You can decide how much or how little you want to include, or do none at all if you want to keep it more subtle.Attraction … but to non-physical traits. Admiration, respect, pride, praise!A stolen touch to someone’s hand or a reassuring hug or back pat.Turning to someone first in joy or fear or grief.Putting them first.Protectiveness.Maybe even a hint of jealousy, if it’s appropriate and if it’s addressed properly.Getting emotional (even if it’s a little out of character, per their normal!) when the other character is harmed or in danger.Making plans together for the future or including each other in their separate planning. Perhaps even referencing a life together when “this is all over.”

And a lot of others!

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Myth: Every character ever needs to be married right now or else I’ll die.

Fact: You okay, buddy?

Okay, okay, I get it. I was the kid who used to get all my animal toys out and carefully line up the daddy, mommy, and baby. Stuffed animals, figurines of all types, PlayMobil, and LEGO were not safe my from my matchmaking. My characters still aren’t safe from my matchmaking. (Ask me sometime if I know who someone is marrying, even if they’re a baby who was born two seconds ago in the storyline and hasn’t existed in a full length novel and maybe never will, and I know. I always know.)

That said, I know I’m obsessive about families and children. What’s your excuse?

In all honesty, since I write romance, this is less of a concern. I can write characters falling in love, getting married, staying married, and making lots of babies! But if you don’t write romance, or don’t write it as a main genre for whatever reason, ask yourself why you feel like this.

Is it peer pressure? What are you really gaining by writing something you clearly don’t want to invest time into? Or perhaps a marketing tactic? Do you hope to snag those fangirls? (YOU’LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE.) Basically, if it doesn’t make sense for the story, cut it.

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Myth: Because I don’t write romance as a genre, it’s okay if my romances aren’t very good or aren’t developed.

Fact: Romance matters. It just does. I think Hannah and I have said this before, but we’re all technically the result of a romance. Romance is a God-created, good thing!

Hannah: You wouldn’t want real people rushing into a romance in real life—you want them to get to know each other, don’t you? So why can’t you do the same for your characters? Why skip over the development? Why act like romance is more of a dessert and not meat?

Speaking of meat, I do hate it when people act like romance can’t be meaty. Like, have you even read what the Bible says about marriage? There is so much theological meat to be found in places like Genesis 2:22-24 (which is commonly quoted at weddings), the entirety of Song of Solomon, Proverbs 31, Matthew 19:4-6 (also quoted at weddings), Ephesians 5 (and yes this one is quoted at weddings too!), and many more!

Why are we acting like we can’t implement the richness, the weightiness of marriage, with all its theological implications, into fiction? Do we really value marriage like we say we do when we act like romance isn’t anything more than butterflies and fireworks? 

Oh sure, it’s easy to misrepresent marriage. It’s easy to get caught up in one aspect or another. For example, I see people complain all the time about authors who seem to write romances that are all about the physical attraction, and though I do understand the complaint, what I don’t understand is that the solution people are implementing seems to be getting rid of physical attraction entirely (which I think borders dangerously close to Gnosticism, if it isn’t already!), and only focusing on the emotional and spiritual attraction. Might I suggest the actual solution is to balance the three instead?

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Myth: Because my characters are minors (teenagers), it would be inappropriate to show them displaying any “chemistry,” feelings of attraction, or other things that might herald a coming romance. I have to save it for the epilogue!

Fact: For the thousandth time, repeat after me: you can (and should!) write romance without making it dirty, and you can wisely choose how much to include to be suitable not only for your characters’ ages, life experiences, and personality, but also for your audience.

You should also know that you don’t have to show a lot of physical attraction, “tingles,” blushing, stuttering, sweating palms, or heart palpitations to show that two characters are compatible and hint that they may have a future together. You can do that, but there are other ways! Showing that two characters get along well together, have developed a legitimately healthy relationship, and are interested in a future together can be done without all of the above.

Hannah: Ooh, I can bring up Jonathan & Nicki from my Woodsman series as an example! In the current (and final) canon, they meet as kids and obviously, there’s no physical attraction. 

By the time they’re in high school, it’s clear they’re somewhat sweet on each other, but there’s really no physical attraction just yet. Maybe they’re thinking the other is cute but that’s about it. Mostly at that point in time, it’s merely them noticing the other’s traits and wondering if the other likes them as more than a friend. 

It isn’t until after they graduate that the physical attraction begins to seed, however, it won’t come to fruition until a few years later, when she comes back to Marigold Hills and they realize the other is no longer a boy/girl, but a man/woman. 

Further, if you’re uncomfortable with all of these things, it’s possible your characters may be as well. Think of how your convictions would lead you to pursue a dating/courtship relationship at the age your characters are. If it’s simply “be friendly and give God those daydreams,” write about that! If it’s “let them know you’d be interested in pursuing them when the war is over,” write that. You don’t have to write your romance traditionally, especially if you’re not writing romance as the main plot! Write something unique and true to your experiences. That’s better than writing nothing at all.

Hannah: Jonathan & Nicki’s romance is kind-of a mix between second chance and falling in love for the first time. Like sure, the attraction was there, but they didn’t exactly love each other in the romance sense. They loved each other as brother and sister in Christ and as friends, but they hadn’t quite reached the romance stage…yet. 

Hence, when Nicki comes back to Marigold Hills, and they begin interacting with each other again, getting to know all the ways they’ve changed as a person, etc., that’s when they actually fall in love. 

Another thing to consider: does your YA novel really need to add romance if you weren’t comfortable putting it in the book itself? Maybe it’s best leaving that to those who are eager and equipped to write romantic relationships. This is not to say romance is not appropriate in young adult fiction, but if you’ve just included it for the sake of including it, or to feed a fandom, it’s probably best left for others.

In conclusion, romance is a genre that requires a little time. It doesn’t have to be a lot of time, but it does deserve the respect as is fitting for a relationship ordained by God.

Catch us next week with more fun romance how-tos and opinions! We can’t wait to see you there!

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TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

Hello folks!

It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve posted here except for little events that I’ve tried to squeeze in where possible! Simply put, my life is all scrambling and mini tragedies these days. I’ve been sleeping a lot and trying to get it together, but there’s some things only God and His timing can fix.

That said, it’s about time to talk about Novelists in November again, and what better way than from one of the authors of the collection, who also edited it, Andrea Renee Cox!

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Random Fun Facts about My Books

by Andrea Renee Cox

Novelists in November is my fourth published book (#2 is now out of print). Let’s take a look at some fun facts about my three available-for-purchase books.

#1 Anything : “Any Thing” by Andrea Renee Cox

The children in this story are wild—they have no respect for a living room!

This story features a widow and a monster-in-law—they, of course, do not get along with each other.

There’s an homage to Dr. Seuss, one of my favorite authors of children’s books of all time.

Family is the heart of this story.

#2 Springtime in Surrey : “The Cottage on the Hill” by Andrea Renee Cox

There is a sheep farmer, but you never meet his sheep.

There’s an homage to Charlie Chaplin and Fred Astaire. (Watch for the umbrella scene!)

This story is my ode to dance (ballet in particular).

The leading lady has a good reason to dislike chocolates.

Yellow is a featured color.

The leading lady lives in a cute cottage in Surrey, England.

There’s a grouchy uncle and a busybody townsperson—both like to make things interesting.

An incredibly sweet reunion takes place.

#3 Novelists in November : “Melting-Pot Thanksgiving” by Andrea Renee Cox

Thanksgiving is the featured holiday.

The leading lady writes middle grade stories and fosters a couple of middle schoolers.

There’s family dysfunction as well as family support.

An angsty teen and an emotional preteen fill one half of a duplex with drama.

There are two separate brother-sister relationships.

A main theme is accepting, pursuing, and enjoying God’s dreams in one’s life.

A mother-daughter relationship is a key feature in this women’s fiction story.

There is cake.

This is a found-family story.

Friendship is another key component.

Which of these stories sounds like one you might enjoy?

All the purchase and review links for these books are found on my website’s Books page.

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Novelists in November

a Wild Blue Wonder Press anthology

Novelists in November is a Christian short story collection featuring eleven emotional tales of authors finding their calling in Christ and pursuing hope, joy, and inspiration. This anthology contains touching stories from contemporary and historical fiction authors with a mix of romance, women’s fiction, and mystery!

Andrea Renee Cox: “Melting-Pot Thanksgiving”

Bethany Willcock: “And As She Talked”

Hannah E. Gridley: “Reasons to Be Thankful”

Katja H. Labonté: “Act in the Living Present”

Faith D. Cox: “My Heart Still Sings”

Kellyn Roth: “Tollemache House”

Katie Zeliger: “Finding Beauty in the Suffering”

Shira J. Rodriguez: “The Lost History of Lavender Lockbourne”

Heather Flynn: “Pages of Grace”

Avrie Swan: “The Sound of Healing”

Kelsey Bryant: “Between Moor and Mountain”

About Melting-Pot Thanksgiving

Melting-Pot Thanksgiving by Andrea Renee Cox

Can she create the Imperfect Perfect Thanksgiving?

Sarah Jones has many responsibilities on her plate, but Thanksgiving wasn’t supposed to be one of them. When asked to host the holiday, she can’t push aside the task, even if it means dealing with her mother’s interference. As Sarah juggles meal preparations, a tight writing deadline, and guiding her two foster children through difficult life events, she must also find the courage to buck high expectations and family traditions. 

Will the trials of strained communication, disappointment, heartache, and altered plans strengthen Sarah’s God-given novelist dreams? Will this imperfect yet dutiful daughter find a way to craft the perfect Thanksgiving dinner?

About the Anthology

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D7KX58NB 

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/books/novelists-in-november-a-wild-blue-wonder-press-anthology-by-kellyn-roth-and-katie-zeliger 

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/215022493-novelists-in-november 

Wild Blue Wonder Press Shop: https://wildbluewonderpress.com/product/novelists-in-november-paperback-preorder/ 

About Andrea Renee Cox

Born and raised in north Texas, Andrea Renee Cox is a born-again child of God who enjoys writing stories that inspire, copyediting fiction manuscripts, tutoring middle school students, and going on road trips with her family. Whether she’s working on historical or contemporary, women’s fiction, romance, or romantic tragedy, she uses her skills in research and writing techniques—as well as a large dose of prayer and guidance from God—at every turn in the journey to produce the best story of her ability every single time. Her books may be found on her website, and readers are welcome to follow her blog and subscribe to her newsletter for the latest updates in her journey. 

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/author/andreareneecox
Blog: https://andreareneecox.com/blog/
BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/andrea-renee-cox
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/andreacox
Newsletter: https://andreareneecox.com/newsletter/
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/andreareneecoxauthor/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/screenwriter87
Website: https://andreareneecox.com

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TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

Hello folks!

Today I get the pleasure of introducing you to Faithful & Just, a new release by author H.S. Kylian who has been featured on my blog a number of times before (and … we may be talking about romance more this February, too! If all goes well, et cetera).

The story I have to tell you about is called Faithful & Just, and it is the first episode of the multi-generational Arrows family saga. Throughout this series, you’ll get to follow the Matthews family through every trial known to man because … well, I mean, that’s what one does in a family saga. Okay, that sounds snarky, but in all honesty, that is my approach, so … I mean, I’m not 100% wrong, right? Family sagas are for tragedy? Yes? Right?

Seriously, though, let me tell you a little bit about the story, where you can buy it, the author, and where you can follow her!

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About the Story

Having conceived their first child out of wedlock despite being Christians, Jack Matthews and Maggie Reid are understandably guilt-ridden and unsure of how to tell their parents. Though repentant, they fear their child will be rejected and their plans to marry thwarted, mostly by Jack’s mother, who will do almost anything to make sure the family reputation remains stellar.

Faithful & Just is the first episode in the Arrows series, a multi-generational story spanning the course of three decades and following the Matthews Family as they experience marriage, friendship, first love, loss, and reconciliation.

Where to Find It

Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DSJY3QR2

Goodreads link: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/59089190-faithful-just

About the Author

H.S. Kylian (a.k.a. Hannah) has been in love with writing since she was nine, really got into it at thirteen, and discovered the gem of story structure at eighteen. She writes mainly contemporary, historical, and romantic fiction from a Biblical worldview, and has tried fantasy and sci-fi on the side, though neither of the latter two genres have seen a completed draft…yet.

Now in her late 20s, when she’s not writing, she’s daydreaming about writing while doing other things like reading/knitting/spinning/photography/studying theology and apologetics, or playing board games and watching movies/TV shows with her family.

She lives with her family and multiple cats and dogs in the beautiful Pacific Northwest.

Where to Find Her

Blog: https://hskylianauthor.com/
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/21839496.H_S_Kylian
Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/stores/H.S.-Kylian/author/B0D34163LB
BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/profile/h-s-kylian
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/h.s.kylian/
FB (author page): https://www.facebook.com/hs.kylian/

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TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!

(Note: a lot of the content of this blog posts was taken from an email I sent to my private list. You can find the signup form here to get all these emails! This is my primary place to share with my readers other than Instagram.)The end of the year always wears me out..Sometimes this brings me to the edge of hysterics. Fear, disappointment, and anger will war within me. 2024 was a year that seems to have just left me with one feeling: exhaustion..I’m tired of being tired. Tired of being sick. Tired of feeling hopeless and lost..And tired of being negative. Not for others, but for myself. To me, the accomplishments of my friends and family are so impressive … but my own? I honestly can never be enough for myself..Good news? Being enough for yourself is not a priority here. Because life is not all about ME but about GOD..So shut up, negative self talk! You literally couldn’t matter less..A common social media complaint I’ll see from deconstruction accounts is that traditional Christianity teaches Christians not to trust themselves, which is abusive. I disagree, because honestly, I do not have a trustworthy inner voice … and I’m not sure other people do, either..I’m inclined to say a LOT of us are hard on ourselves. I do not believe this is limited to those raised in Christian circles (though I have endless empathy for those people who received this negative attitude BECAUSE of evil people who were pretending to represent God!)..But those voices are not from God..What kinds of things does God say?.That He loves us (Romans 5:8). That we are ultimately worthy because we are created by Him (Luke 12:6-7). That our behavior is NOT what makes Him love us (Ephesians 2:8-9). That we are not capable of being good (Romans 3:23) … and yes, that leads to self doubt, sure, but it’s true that we are not capable of being good on our own..We are only capable of receiving great love, courage, strength, and good when we turn to God, to Jesus, and allow Him to live through us..This is not necessarily even limited to Christians, as God is so at work in the world that we see His goodness everywhere!.But all of that comes from God..Who am I to say, “I should have done better!” when I can only do what God wills?.Who am to live in the guilt of my sins and my failures when I have repented and been washed clean by Jesus?.Who am I to blame myself for what I cannot control, when God is the One with ultimate control?.Anyways, I’m going over 2024 below, before we officially dive into 2025. Let’s talk about the year we had!

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Looking into the Past: 20242024 started with Matthew getting a new job at a company called M6 Revolutions. This was a boon for us in more ways than one and has proven to be a HUGE blessing. .So we started the year in our little cabin in the snowy woods on my in-laws’ property. It’s a gorgeous place, but it meant both Matthew and I lived about 45 windy-roaded minutes from M6 Revolutions and from where my buddy Matthias lives..This year, I have been so blessed to be able to work with Matthias. (Can you believe it’s been 5 years since I started working with him, and he’s 10???!!!).Matthias needed a big surgery in the spring. Fortunately, that went well, and he’s now returned to his rambunctious, happy, sweet, stubborn self … and with better kidney function! Thank God!.I was able to keep working with Matthias right after the surgery, which I hope helped his family have a sense of normal. Then, as he recovered, we went on lots of adventures and had our normal fun schooling together. We’ve been attending a weekly preschool class of sorts together, which has been a big growing experience for Matthias (and a big reminder to me that classroom management skills never go away and children never change :P)..We lost our state funding mid-year because I was unable to drive several hours away multiple times a week for required training. I didn’t have the time (I work multiple jobs!), a reliable vehicle, or, honestly, the energy!.Unfortunately, Washington state is much more concerned with procedure than with real people, and rural populations are never considered. :-/ This caused me no small amount of stress, but due to a blessing from my parents, we were able to find ways to keep working together. I’m so incredibly thankful for that! What an unearned blessing!.I honestly don’t know what I’d do without Matthias and his family. I love all his brothers, but I’m especially close to his younger brothers, Rosh and Gil, and his mother is a sweet friend and mentor who is an incredible encouragement to me!. .Which brings us to the biggest thing that happened this year … we moved to Trout Lake!.I get to live 7 minutes from Matthias, and Matthew is similarly close to the physical location of his job. The community has been awesome here, and we’re slowly making connections. It’s also nice to be close to a church that I actually want to attend..This move has been such a blessing. We’re renting the house from a couple who are giving us a great deal, and the house is perfect in so many ways. I can’t imagine a better spot for us right now!.The move was not easy for me, and from mid-June when I returned home and started moving through August, I just about died. Panic attacks and bad dreams and constant exhaustion plagued me. I had to do a lot of the moving on my own due to poor timing, and I’d already pushed myself hard in early June (more on that later)..However, I am in recovery (yes, my immune system is still letting me know I’m not fully recovered, lol), and I’m so happy with the house and the results of all the hard work and generosity of everyone who helped us move and blessed us in various ways, especially my parents.. .SPEAKING OF WHICH … one of my dear friends got married this year! Aimee and I flew to Minnesota in June to hang out with her and be in her wedding!.Congratulations, Eva and Noah! <3.In June, I also flew to Chicago (yes, from Minnesota, lol) to graduate from the Author Conservatory, which was such a blessing!.Speaking of which, I’m still working for the Author Conservatory, and I’m LOVING it! It is genuinely one of the best things about my life. I’ve been managing their anthologies (the publishing side) and working as a student advisor, both of which have been so rewarding. I love the company, their mission, and their amazing team! Kara Swanson-Matsumoto in particular has been such a blessing to me as I work with her on these anthologies, and I get to work with several other friends, too!..I got to go on lots of fun adventures with friends and with Matthew this year! Some pictures below. But I got to go to the Glory Writers retreat in May, and then Aimee and I went to the beach approximately 2,000 times and the mountain once. Bailey and I saw a lot of waterfalls, and we went to the Astoria area with Matthew earlier this month which was FANTASTIC and IDEALIC..This year I’ve been amazed by the friends I have. For so many years, I felt alone and unwanted. I doubted I would ever have close in-person friends..Bailey is my rock, my oldest and truest bestie, who will talk about everything with me from the latest gossip about our small town to deep theological issues. Our conversations are random but so encouraging. When we went to Astoria, we spend a significant amount of time making plans for 2025. We discussed our failings from the last year and made plans to improve in the future! Despite Bailey not feeling great (sorry, Bay) and our poor planning skills, God really made this the perfect weekend, from the weather to the places we visited to the discussions we had. Matthew was our tour guide and support system, and he made everything dreamy for us..In these last few years, Aimee and I have become pretty tight, and now I can’t imagine life without her. We still see things differently in a lot of ways, but her friendship has been a balm, and I’ve been so grateful to have her visit me often in this last year. (I mean, I’ve also visited her a few times, but my car doesn’t like to drive, and I have a spare room, so she’s come this way a lot more.) We’ve had a lot of amazing adventures this year (mostly at the beach, because we realized we can just, you know, go to the beach), and I like to think we’ve helped each other relax and find peace in the craziness in both our lives..This year also made me aware that I am actually one of those people who takes on emotional burdens for others, which sucks because I thought I was Not Like That. I kid you not, I grew up thinking I had sociopathic tendencies, which is so dumb, especially given the definition of “sociopath,” but I was a dramatic teen. Now, this emotional burdening only applies to the few people who I have deep loyalty toward; otherwise, I don’t find myself taking on the emotions of others at all. Of course, I was forced to realize this fact since so many crises have hit various people I care about this year. I’m at the point where, if anyone says or does anything remotely cruel toward anyone I care about, I will be organizing a fun lil homicide to deal with the issue. (Kidding. Maybe.) However, in a weird way, this has been very Good For Me. In one of those, “I guess that’s handy to know, and also, motherhood is going to be less of an emotional breeze than I thought” ways. I feel like I learn a lot all the time about the kind of mom I might be sometimes, which is good and bad because it just makes me more delusional. . .Of course, the year wrapped up with Christmas. Christmas felt a little different this year … oh, well, it does every year. But this year, I only cried about not having a baby maybe four or five times. Otherwise, I didn’t find myself thinking about our infertility a ton..It’s hard for me to accept this as it’s not peace, but neither is it indifference or coping. I’m not sure what it is. An uneasy truce, perhaps. I’ll repeat what I said at the beginning of this email: I feel worn out. It’s not depression, nor is it anxiety, nor is it precisely burnout. I know those feelings well. I’m too tired to worry about it, and for once, my body and mind have agreed that we are indeed too tired. I didn’t even know that was possible..So that was put off, and we enjoyed Christmas. Granted, I was too tired to feel like I really loved it, and a lot of it felt strangely hollow as a result, but I did love our decorations, and I got to enjoy a lot of little beautiful Christmasy moments.. .I’m not sure what 2025 will look like. I know I’m making some changes in my lifestyle and writing. I know I’m giving myself a pseudo-break from publishing to focus on rest and my various day jobs, which y’all will have to hold me to! If I start publishing a book in the next year (other than Fingerprints in Frost and Like the Air After Rain), STOP ME...Also, just for fun, here are some Toph pictures. Toph is my excellent cat, and yes, she is named after the Avatar: The Last Airbender character.. Goal Wrap-up for 2024

~ Writing ~

Edit Like the Air After Rain (The Hilton Legacy, #2) with the help of my talented alpha reader team and editors. (DONE)Write a first draft of Like Lightning in a Bottle (The Hilton Legacy, #3). (DONE)Write (or rather, finish) a first draft of another writing project of some sort. If I get more writing done, good. However, two books is enough! (DONE … ish? I arguably wrote a couple short stories and a novella, but I would have liked to do more.)Graduate from the Author Conservatory. (DONE)

~ Marketing ~

Publish at least twice monthly on Reveries & Lilacs (& ideally, every week, but I’ll probably take at least a few breaks!). (FAILED! I’m de-prioritizing my blog, in case you haven’t noticed.)Put monthly effort into growing my email list as well as maintaining semi-consistent emails (occasional breaks being a good thing). (DONE! I feel like I’ve done way more to build my email list than ever before, which has been such an amazing experience.)

~ Publishing ~

Publish If Ye’d Only Say, my short story in the second Author Conservatory anthology (spring or summer 2024). (DONE!)Publish The Artist of Hearthstone Cottage (January 2024), my novella, with the A Very Bookish Romance collection. (DONE!)Publish Novelists in November (November 2024), Wild Blue Wonder Press’s second anthology. (DONE!)Open submissions for Fingerprints in Frost, Wild Blue Wonder Press’s third anthology. (DONE! And we closed submissions & will be revealing our cover on January 14th!)

~ Personal ~

Improve my intake of certain nutrients (e.g. eat well). (Meh. I didn’t do this most of this year, but I feel like I’ve taken steps in that direction, which I’m proud of.)Find a way to be in bed for a reasonable amount of time (e.g. sleep well). (Nope. Still figuring this out!)Learn more about God every day. (I always do a couple undefinable goals every year, quite by accident. I did learn about God! I do every year. But I don’t know if I learned something every day.)

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2025 GoalsWorkCreating Great (Fictional) Works

Of course, I want to keep writing! I am taking a hiatus from making any publishing plans for at least the first half of the year, if not more, but I’m actually hoping this will give me some more time to dive into writing projects!

Here’s a list of the stories I would love to work on (if not finish) in 2025:

Like Lightning in a Bottle (The Hilton Legacy, Book 3): currently drafted! In 2025, I hope to complete alphas and two rounds of edits.Lady of Influence (for Wild Blue Wonder Press’s 2026 or 2027 multi-author project): currently half-drafted. In 2025, I hope to complete a draft.A Thrill of Hope (for an upcoming unannounced multi-author project): draft and edit!Time of Grief (The Chronicles of Alice & Ivy, Book 7): I’d love to complete drafting this! I’ve got about 25k done thus far, so 25-30% of it done already.The Duchess Imperative, The Duke’s Twin, My Fair Marchioness, & Her Last Duke (a Regency romantic comedy series): I have the first draft of The Duchess Imperative, The Duke’s Twin, and My Fair Marchioness written. This year, I would love to do some of the (very extensive) rewrites I have planned, which would essentially look like drafting a novella and two novels, in addition to possibly drafting Her Last Duke. That said, mostly, I want to make a plan for the revisions and make some decent progress.The McAllen Brothers series (a spin-off of The Chronicles of Alice & Ivy): I’m thinking about drafting this, so this is more of a secondary project. I may work on bits and pieces of this throughout the year, as I have time. A stretch goal would be to draft 1, or all 3, of them.Possibly, I’ll also finish drafting my untitled Whispers in Waves story, but I’m not sure!Marketing Published Novels

Of course, I want to spend this year marketing my stories, too! Here are some of my sub-goals for this.

Pursue a cross-promotion opportunity with another author every 1-2 months.

Of course, this may not always be feasible, but I want to get better at supporting other authors and cross-promotion, so this is a part of that!

Remain consistent in putting out posts to my Instagram that are helpful and interesting to my audience … and be open to finding new ways to do so.

I love Instagram, and I’m excited to keep learning and growing as I try my best to bless my audience! I’m hoping this will include

Continue building my email list & finding new ways to send interesting emails to serve my followers.

This is probably my main marketing focus. (Make sure you’re subscribed to my email list if you’re not already!) Now, I still need to do some more research and learn more, but whatever I do, I want it to benefit my email list.

Supporting the Author Community

One of my bigger overarching goals this year is to give back more to the author community! I feel like oftentimes I can take so much and not give nearly enough. For that reason, I’m making some of my goals about giving back to the author community.

Read 6 indie books this year that I’m in no way involved in the creation of, review them, and talk about them on social media/blog/email list if I feel comfortable doing so.

This means not books I’ve published, formatted, edited, et cetera. That said, I may not LOVE them all, and I’m prepared to be negative if need be. So these may not make it beyond Goodreads.

I haven’t read much in the indie world in the last few years, unless I knew I would love it, because I know I’m not going to like all of them, and also, I just don’t want to read many indie books. As an author, you can get a lot of flack for negatively reviewing “the competition,” and since I can’t be dishonest, I haven’t wanted to spend a lot of time on something that may only lead to me creating enemies of people I truly admire and like!

That said, I know I am a reviewing kind of author, and I do want to participate in this community more! So I will at least be reviewing my reads on Goodreads … and then if I love them, I’ll share about them in other places, too, in hopes of helping some authors of quality fiction get more visibility.

Feature an author or book on my newsletter at least once a month and post about at least six books on my blog over the course of the year.

My email list is becoming my main marketing focus as an author, and I’m committing to devoting a section of one email a month to talk about an author or book I love! I’m hoping these spotlights will help my readers learn about more great books … and more great authors that I love, too!

And no, I’m not completely abandoning this blog, and I’d love to make helping other authors a part of this! I’ll try to participate in some more blog tours or other launches as part of this, though this can be hard for me just because I’m bad at keeping track of things, and also, I am concerned that some authors/publishers are not taking quality seriously or are acting in an unethical manner. Yet I lack the time to individually quality check recently-launched books BEFORE featuring them + that would interfere with my ability to post closer to launch dates!

So I’ll try to do this while sticking to authors/publishers I trust, but I want to state that I cannot necessarily recommend EVERY book I’ll be sharing here with 100% certainty or vouch for EVERY author’s EVERY action. And, in fact, it’s unreasonable to ask bloggers and other “influencers” to do that level of research about everything they share. *shrug*

Find one little thing every month to do to add to create and foster community.

I don’t know what this will be, but I’d like to do SOMETHING every month to continue growing a community of like-minded readers and writers. I don’t know exactly what this will look like every month, but I’m going to keep learning and growing. I’ve thought of things like a reading challenge or book club or just participating more heavily in already established communities. Let me know if you have any ideas!

Being an Excellent Employee

At the Author Conservatory and my other little day jobs! Now, this is not something I haven’t always tried my best to do, but I want to make sure I’m honoring the jobs I am committed to by bringing my best possible work to them. This is a simple (Christian!) principle that I think we could all abide by … go the extra mile and be the kind of person who pursues excellence everywhere!

LifeSpiritual Life

I have some pretty basic goals this year:

Do a year-long study of 1 & 2 Timothy.

See below for more on this!

Read through the Bible in a year.

I actually kind of did this last year, but I felt like I wasn’t really as dedicated as I ought to be, so I’m trying to get better at not skimming and actually taking time to think about what I’m reading.

I also, of course, want to pray more and fellowship with Christians, but I won’t bore you with all the details.

Physical Health

I’m not good at maintaining my physical health AT ALL. It’s frankly a miracle I’m not bed-ridden. I don’t count as chronically ill, but I am so bad at basic things: eating, sleeping, exercising. I’ve gained a lot of weight and my immune system is shot. That said, every time I have made resolutions in this area, I’ve failed. I just can’t seem to get a grasp on it!

Therefore, I have an unusual goal:

Do a 10-day “detox” once a month.

What this looks like will change from month to month, but in general, it’ll probably look like avoiding carbs, sugar, excess caffeine, processed foods, and anything else that makes me feel icky. Some months, I may also cut out other things (like, for my 10 days this month, I’m not doing much fruit, only a few nuts, no eggs, and no potatoes/rice which I probably will do other months unless I find it makes me feel sick). Eventually I’m also hoping the 10-day detox will come with better sleeping habits and more frequent, routine exercising.

Now, yes, 10 days out of the month is not enough to maintain decent health. I’m hoping a) some of these habits will stick around the rest of the month, and b) the simple action of forcing myself to do some of these things over and over again throughout the year, I’ll not be nearly so bad at doing them on the regular.

Here’s the thing, though: I’d rather have 10 days out of the month when I did these things that none at all. Because I doubt there I had 10 days total in 2024 when I got a good ratio of protein and plants and didn’t have some form of carb or sugar that was inflammatory. I have a huge amount of inflammation in my body (I’m on day 5 of my 10 days for this month, and I’ve lost 5 lbs which was almost certainly all water and inflammation!). Plainly I need this!

The truth is, I don’t eat that much at all, so the biggest challenge here has been making myself eat, which this time, I haven’t done a very good job of.

My other goal is:

Find a good way to make exercise a part of your week.

From August through September, I exercised every day save for the occasional weekends. And I did feel a lot better! I wasn’t doing well through those two months, so the fact that anything at all was able to improve my general malaise was great.

I fell off the boat by October, and I haven’t really picked it up since. My favorite mode of exercising (bicycling) is not so feasible now that there’s snow on the ground.

I feel like part of being healthy (perhaps the biggest part!) is finding a way to fit it into your life rather than trying to wrap your life around it. Since I’ve never been able to wrap my life around anything, I am instead seeking ways to make health conform to my needs.

Emotional Control

I just wanted to mention this as another area where I’m hoping to grow even though I don’t have a goal attached to it. I believe it is very important to experience emotions … but I also believe it’s important not to let them lead you.

I’m trying a couple things this year, as well as just knowing that my other resolutions will help, in hopes of regulating my emotions, which can be a little all over the place when I’m in private. I would not call myself an emotionally-led person, but I definitely feel like my feelings are big contributors to my depressive episodes and anxiety attacks. That said, I know that there are simple things I can do to improve my response to such things. So I’m praying about and working on that in 2025, too.

Infertility Journey

I won’t go into too much detail here (maybe later!), but we’re still stuck here, and we’re hopeful to make some steps forward in terms of testing and/or treatment this year. I’m not sure what this will look like, but my goal is simply to:

Be brave!

Not a SMART goal perhaps, but I need the reminder.

I also am working on private goals to do with relationships, but nothing is quite set in stone yet, so I won’t share about those!

2025 Word of the Year

For this year, I decided on the word “valor,” which is so incredibly dramatic for day to day life, because it means:

great courage in the face of danger

That said, we do need valor to follow Christ boldly, and I certainly feel like I need more valor in my day-to-day life. I can be such a coward about simple things! I know I’m going to have to make a lot of phone calls and talk to some medical professionals this year, not to mention overcome my own laziness, and I need some of God’s courage to get that done.

To pair with this word, I’ve decided to use this verse:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

I’ve always found great comfort in this verse, but I have never done a deep-dive study into 2 Timothy (or 1 Timothy) for that matter. Frankly, between attention issues and busyness, I don’t often study God’s Word as thoroughly as I would like. I read it, though not as much as I would like to read, but I am often a poor studier. I don’t glean half as much as I’d like to.

For this reason, I have made myself a mini Bible study, which I am calling “Valor” even though this is just a personal meditation point.

If you would like to receive my mini Bible study (this is just my to do list for the year when it comes to reading 2 Timothy and to a certain degree 1 Timothy), and hear updates as I dive into the study as someone who is not so good at studying, you can click here to grab the PDF and hear the updates once a month!

https://kellynroth.myflodesk.com/2-timothy

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TTFN!

~Kell~

Are you interested in getting to know me & my books better? Join my email list!