Jessica Shepherd's Blog, page 27

“I had a diva moment,” I recounted to my sleepy looking husband, explaining the letter I received from a program for which I had applied that had asked me to prove my astrology knowledge by writing out a lengthy astrological interpretation for a hypothetical case study. “Are you kidding? I get paid to do this! Doesn’t my decade of experience as an astrological counsellor count for anything?” I exclaimed, feeling not a little bit self-righteous in my own justifications. “Okay. What did you do?” John asked wearily.  It was late, he was tired. Righteousness turning to humility, I meekly replied, “Um, I told them as much.”

This was a big aberration. The idea of asking for the red sea to part, just for me, or to ask for special recognition or accolades above others, generally, is foreign to my character.  And so after sending the email, as the hours wore on and shame began gnawing at me and a knot in my stomach grew, I turned to my Leo for advice. “Now I’m embarrassed that the review board will see me as one of ‘those people’ – the kind who move through the world making drama, demands and creating headaches for others.”

He heaved a big lion sigh. “Did you expect to be treated differently?” Well, yes, I blundered…I had. Now disappointed by John’s response, my righteousness directed itself toward him. “You’re assuming it was wrong of me to ask for special consideration for my accomplishments.” No, he said, he just didn’t understand why I was placing my self-worth in their hands. That struck a nerve. He was right. I had been. I wanted to be recognised as worthy and special, by them. When they hadn’t, I roared and created drama.

The funny thing is, it felt oddly good to roar. It felt good to be one of “those people”. Even in the aftermath of this humbling and shameful recognition, my long-lost inner Leo exclaimed: Ah, so this is how it feels! Stretch. Yawn. Take up space. Rawwrh! But where was this coming from? My Solar Arc Saturn, Sun, Vesta and Mid-Heaven (at that infamous 29 degrees) are all in Leo. Oh, that’s where. I am comfortable with being the creative, the artist – but the desire for recognition and acclaim – apparently that is my shadow. Because boy did it feel taboo, and wicked good, to let my proud Lioness roar.

Declaring our desire to be noticed and appreciated is apart of having a healthy ego. The desire to be truly seen for who we are is as natural as rain. But looking for worth in others’ eyes, for validation of worth, lovability or success as a person… one may as well be placing one’s head into the mouth of a hungry beast. A self-possessed Queen or King rarely finds the need to roar. They are quietly, powerfully, in command. Because they know their own worth and honor, they offer that to others, who naturally give them that in return. At this New Moon, we can play with being a royal, owning our dignity and worth.

This Leo New Moon marks middle of a 40-day cycle of Venus review. We’ve been initiated into the fiery drama of our heart. Like Venus, we’re still knee deep in the underworld, and the rules aren’t the same here. Mice can turn into lions, shy lovers into casanovas. We may see where we have been ‘in the dark’ about our self and our companions. Deep wants and desires that have been disassociated from our above life, our day self, could become clear. We may find a wild child part of our self who has been living in the shadowy forest, so long neglected she or he is now starved for integration, attention and affection.

This is a very special New Moon. Venus kisses the Sun in an inferior conjunction. You can make magic here, in this Venus underworld. Toss out negative beliefs and inferiority complexes. Seed new values about your worth, specialness, beauty and deservedness. Declare new intentions. Declare your desires! And most importantly, have fun with it. This is Venus in Leo. Be colorful! Play! Create! Roar!

Under the beams of Leo, life is a colorful parade. Coquette Venus implores us simply to watch, bask in the fanfare, notice the spectacle, the surprises.  Who, what, will arrive? Old loves, lovers, art forms and play? Unexpected accolades, affection and generosity? A new side of one’s self? The morning after my diva moment I sat down at my computer awaiting the dreaded email response. Expecting a reiteration of the requirements, which I’d humbly complete with a smile, when it arrived the email was all apologies and diplomacy. The form letter I received was in error, and, no, of course I didn’t need to take the test. When I read this, I knew the work I’d done on myself over the past 24 hours paved the way for this magic. Like the cat who caught the canary, I forwarded the email to Leo John, who replied: “I guess you really are a Diva!”  Hmm. Well then, in my dressing room, I must have Evian water. And about those brown M&M’s…

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Jupiter, King of planets, has left the sign of Kings, Leo, behind. Jupiter expressing through the robust sign brought: a rise in stardom (everyone can be a star, now), big egos and more recently, lions. As Jupiter expresses through Virgo, that’s the planet of expansion, in the sign of humility? Opportunity through: work and service? It doesn’t sound like King behavior. Yet over the coming year this is what we have.

I was listening to one of those call-in advice shows yesterday. I only caught it mid-way, but the caller’s question revolved around her painful sense of loneliness which began with the feeling of being different as a child (she was singled out for being unusually tall). Now a PhD living in a blue-collar neighborhood, she didn’t share the same interests of others and spends a lot of time alone. Her voice was pained.

In addition to naming her as an introvert and sensitive person, and talking about the necessity of learning the extra skills it takes for us types to live in a largely extroverted world, the show’s host suggested her real issue was one of self-worth. She described people who have high self-regard and self-esteem as also having the ability to take positive action on one’s own behalf. Why hadn’t she moved? She suggested: If you’re an introvert and hang out so much, alone, at least you could move to a community that shares your interests when you do decide to be social.  And, the Dr. added, we all deserve to be happy and fulfilled. In a nutshell: our self-worth makes decisions for us about what we can or can’t do all the time.

It all struck me as Jupiterian. On advice shows, as in life, when it comes to moving into a better place, there are often a lot of self-justifications, fear, shame. And underlying that, the question: Do I believe I deserve better? Am I worth the trouble it would take to make me happy? With Jupiter, we’ve got to believe we can be: bigger, better versions of our self, that we can have an improved life. We also need to be restless and dissatisfied with the present, and hungry for a better future. Most of us have the dissatisfied bit down, but what about believing in our self, our deservedness? What about alchemizing our malcontent into an appetite for more– and using that to power us forward instead of hold us back? When we really feel this way, we’ve entered Jupiter’s territory, and the potential for magic.

Jupiter in Virgo breaks it down: Good fortune doesn’t just happen. We must roll up our sleeves and make it so. With Jupiter in Virgo we may need to acquire new skills to get to the next level; expand our calling, vocation or craft; lift our nose up from myriad details and analysis paralysis to move toward new vistas. In other words, we can use our dissatisfaction, hunger, desire for better…to make our own luck.

Make Your Own Luck

Every Jupiter transit requires our co-participation. To identify where, with elbow grease, opportunity knocks, look to the house Jupiter transits. Virgo is the sign of competence, craftsmanship, skill building, health, service, excellence. For the next 12 months, practice these themes, and the “luckier” you become.

If Jupiter is transiting your…

1st house- reach beyond your current self-definition, courageously put your self out there, open and bloom in your environment – it’s a rich and exciting playground of self-discovery for you now

2nd house- take a personal inventory of the skills, gifts and talents you have to offer, get hungry for new earning opportunities, acquire new tools to help you get there, organise your finances

3rd house- expand your avenues of self-expression, improve your communication skills, express your self in new arenas, take classes to help you with this, teach what you know, get new wheels

4th house- think big about the kind of home and family you want while taking steps to actively create it, expand your definition of family to include pets, kids, friends, in home and hearth the sky’s the limit

5th house- fall in love with an art form or person, re-kindle your romance with your lover, take a hobby to the next level, nurture social and artistic connections, improve your relations with kids (they’re open to it now)

6th house- ask for more from your work environment, befriend co-workers (there are some good ones), vie for a new office space, ask for a lateral promotion, spearhead a project you’d enjoy, hire a health coach

7th house- accept all invitations to be social (there are quality people waiting for you, in the wings), sign up for a relationship course, ask for more from your partnerships

8th house- take a psychological inventory (what unhealthy behaviors can you drop?), free yourself from baggage, de-clutter, get debt relief, make a will, explore your ancestry and lineage (there are latent gifts here for you)

9th house- doors are now open to you in these areas: spiritual tribes and teachers, publishing, foreign and long-distance travel, university and higher education studies, seek out mind-blowing experiences that enrich your sense of meaning, magic and possibility

10th house -the more competent you appear to your community, the more fame and honors you receive from them, polish your professional persona (and watch people respond), expand your professional identity and reach to more accurately represent and share your skill level

11th house- friendships and groups have grown stale for you, seek out new friend groups, allies, alliances and networking organisations, reach out: people want to know you (this is the house of “love received”)

12th house- develop your spiritual life and intuition, dream and inner work, retreat and creative time is especially rich, you can align your skills with what the collective needs and wants now

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Newsflash: “I thought a Jupiter transit was supposed to be good!” has been reportedly heard repeating across the heavens.  Like the Chinese parable of a farmer whose mare runs off during planting season (bad luck), later returns with two stallions (good luck), the son is bucked by the new stallion and breaks his leg (bad luck) then the army rides into town to conscript the son into service, but leaves the invalid son behind (good luck)… Luck is like that runaway horse. We have the tendency to think either something is good or bad, but no singular event ever exists in isolation. Maybe we need to widen our context about what “luck” is.

No astrological event exists in isolation, either. It’s one of the easiest mistakes to make in astrology. “Jupiter is joining my Midheaven- my boat will come in!” Then you get fired. But you hated your job and you were finally released. See, because ultimately Jupiter symbolises freedom, expansion and the desire for something better.

Then there’s Saturn. From July (thru roughly mid-August when Jupiter enters Virgo), every liberating Jupiter in Leo transit links to a workhorse Saturn in Scorpio transit. There has been no free lunch with this pair. A diabetic client who has worked for years to get a dog to help her manage her sugar levels was finally given the dog, but because of rigorous training, rules and procedures, she had to earn the privilege up to the very last minute.  I know several people with Jupiter and Saturn conjunct in their natal chart who bemoan the stringent requirements required to collect on opportunity, luck and fortune. And yet as I have observed of this a dynamic duo: When you diligently work for something, aren’t the rewards that much sweeter?

I’m no Pollayanna. Saturn in Scorpio challenges us to view Jupiter with maturity, clarity, and just because some form of Jupiterian release has been “ultimately, for the best” doesn’t mean it’s easy.  As the square has tightened over the past week, several people and beloved pets in my circle, after a long bout with illness, have finally died. For those in pain, being released into greener pastures is the ultimate good fortune.

So it goes for those leaving relationships. A client broke up with her partner when Jupiter joined her Venus. Another: “I thought this was supposed to bring good things!” Ah, I asked, but were you happy? Did you want things to keep going the way they had been? The answer was: No. She wanted to be happier, have the love she deserved. She was tired of the secrecy and lies (Saturn in Scorpio). She was ready to ask for more from love: Jupiter conjunct Venus. Jupiter transits stimulate our desires for more, bigger, better.

So. Venus is meeting Jupiter. Most of us have positive associations for the Jupiter-Venus conjunction. We can still have them! Jupiter’s nature is expansive, opportunistic, and most importantly its appearance shows us where we have been underestimating our self in key ways. Venus is also square Saturn. You may have had to work harder for opportunity. You may have outgrown a relationship. You may have had to say goodbye to claim your, or someone else’s, greater good and happiness. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to let go of their hand, and say goodbye. Just remember the parable about the horse, and the million and one ways fortune and grace can bless us… often sometimes a little further down the road.

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Thoughts about “future plans” have been buzzing around my head like flies. Choices I want and need to make loom imminent and large. Should I sign up for this class that could be inspiring (but what if I do, and I’m bored out of my mind)? Will a book project I’d once shelved rise from the ashes and end up in print? The only feedback I’m receiving right now is my head feels like it’s going to explode, and the futurizing is zapping my good cheer- signs I need a change of approach.

Because the funny thing about the future is it never arrives. It is only, always, now.

And sometimes we block our good while we’re focused on that thing we think we should be doing, instead of doing what we are drawn to discover and enjoy in this moment.

One of my strategies for feeling blocked is to do something else, totally and radically unrelated to my goal. Maybe it’s the Uranian instinct in me, but when life doesn’t flow in the direction I want it to, taking an opposite approach works wonders. When I am “supposed to be” working, heading outside, soaking in the sun and spending time with the chicken inspires my groove again. When a creative work project stymied me last fall, I decided to sign up for a jewelry-making class — my theory being that all muses aren’t operatic divas announcing their selves as “The Next Big Thing”. The true hidden beauties of genius often enter quietly through side doors, roads not taken, through other whimsies, whispers and inspirations.

For us overachiever, type-A people who have a tireless sense of personal mission (and, let’s be real, no small amount of self-importance) this upside-down-is-right-side-up philosophy is often really hard to embrace. But the cost of single-mindedly pursuing “goals” and “future-planning” can turn into it’s own prison. One client, a woman who finished her doctorate by her early 20’s, told me she started working on her resume in junior high. She eventually started a business to literally “help kids find and live their dreams” – only to suffer burnout, and discover she wasn’t enjoying her “dream”! Her beloved dream, her sense of “mission”, everything she had strategised, planned for all those years now imprisoned her. With a strongly teneted tenth and eleventh house, her need to make a contribution is strong, but with Uranus arriving at her Mid-Heaven a season of self-rediscovery is stronger. Her chief concern in seeking me for a reading was: Find joy in my work again. I advised her to do the opposite of work -to play- and gently warned her against turning any enthusiasm into her next calling, mission or life’s work right now. The way back to the True Self can only happen by dropping all the planning and shoulds and committing to re-discovering the joys of today.

So where could you use a joyful shake up? It’s Aquarius Full Moon, we are thinking of the future and our place in it, but a zany, upside-down approach to future goal-setting seems appropriate considering the number of retrogrades in the sky right now - five, including Venus, planet of pleasure, creativity, abundance. Full Moon day she retrogrades back into creative, playful Leo. You might even sleep with your window open on Full Moon night and lay out some fun baubles for her, so the Aquarian idea fairies can find you.

This Moon nurtures our creative genius, our brilliance, our innovation and ability to go against all odds- sometimes with little social support. One thing I regularly hear from Uranian-type folks who want to strike out on their own, break from their corporate job and live their “dream,” is fear. It’s real -and it’s not. For those called to live a life by our own rules, the social infrastructure that helps us feel secure (everything from health insurance to a laid-out career trajectory) is not available. It takes courage, a lot of “searching outside the box” for strategies, to chart this course but for us the cost of not doing so is our very soul. Over time we discover we’re not alone, we have a new tribe of allies (we’re here!). Consider women innovators: Marie Curie, Georgia O’Keefe, Martha Graham, Gloria Steinem, Eleanor Roosevelt…each had no precedent to follow, each blazed an original path. As Saturn changes directions the day after this Full Moon, it’s time to face our fears and move forward. We can re-dedicate our self to following what holds inspiration and weed out what no longer does (Venus).

One final word about our big life plans and dreams: They change. And change can be beautiful.

At this Moon, drop any fearful single-minded version of the way things “ought to be” playing in your head. These are probably blocking you from considering other, potentially better (and more enjoyable) alternatives. The bright ideas available to you now are circulating in left-field, and at first glance may sound/look/seem crazy (every genius idea always has an element of “Noooo… that’s too crazy” in it). But remember, right now, upside down is right side up.

And when in doubt…follow Venus. If up has become down for you, try this experiment: make joy your new center of gravity, your Truest North. Take a page from my book and do the opposite of what you (or others) think you should be doing. Then have fun with it!

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For forty days, July 26-September 6, 2015, Venus will move retrograde in the degrees of 00’46’ Virgo-14’24’ Leo.

Retrograde Revaluations

Venus is the cosmic darling, Goddess of Love, Beauty, Pleasure and all we enjoy. With Venus, life is good – we find money under our pillow, our creative achievements win accolades and praise, our friends and lovers shower us with affection and we feel confident and look good. So what happens when Venus goes retrograde? Though we might be tempted to imagine lovers being jilted at the altar, abject poverty, and beauty treatments gone very bad, while not impossible, a more typical expression of Venus retrograde events feel more like an adjustment and reorientation around what makes you truly happy, what and who you enjoy and consider worthwhile. For instance, like an eagerly anticipated trip to an ice cream store an hour away only to find out our favorite flavor has been discontinued, we may feel disappointed, a little jipped, and wonder why we spent so much time, effort or money on an activity, thing or person that ultimately left us feeling flat.

While no one likes to feel those crestfallen or disappointed feelings, look closer and a pattern emerges: Displeasure eventually leads to genuflection and introspection…and that’s where the real gold of retrograde reveals. Throughout her 40-day and night retrograde we are led into a process of reevaluation around all we value, and why. As she dances across the sky and disappears with the Sun, to re-emerge as Morning Star, we may find our selves asking on several occasions: Am I having fun yet? And if not: Why? (the golden question).  Often we discover the thing or person we thought we wanted, we didn’t really want at all. Or maybe we discover that we value something, or someone, more than we thought. Sure, Venus retrograde can disappoint: maybe we lose a commission we worked hard for, but this leads to the kick in the pants to choose another path, one that properly values us. Or our job stresses us out so we can finally re-prioritise our own happiness. Maybe we date a real dud who ends up showing us just how much we’ve been underestimating what we deserve in a partner, and who helps us see how we’ve been sabotaging our needs and desires (true Venus RX story- my own!). Perhaps our partner does that thing we most dislike – and we finally address it. Don’t be so quick to rail against any misfortune during this period: Venus hates being judged on appearances alone. With Venus there are always blessings; when Venus is retrograde, the blessings are just in disguise.

Venus Magic and Ritual

There’s plenty circulating in the blog-o-sphere telling you what not to do during this period. In case you haven’t read that yet, classically, Astrologers say: Don’t get married, start a new relationship, get a new beauty treatment, spend gobs of money on something or someone whose value is questionable… Yet there’s far less information about what to do.

One thing I consistently advise clients during Venus retrograde is to put any troubling relationship, self-esteem and self-worth or money patterns under scrutiny, by offering those to the Goddess. Remember, Venus is descending into Underworld, and she will re-emerge transformed. So can you. For the next 40 days, ask for clarity around Venus issues. For instance, a client recently said: “I’m hanging onto this relationship for dear life and I don’t know why.” I suggested she offer this question up to the altar of Venus. This could be a symbolic altar, or an actual one, where you place your favorite beautiful objects. Try writing out your concerns: your deepest troubles and patterns you’d like clarity on, as well as your desires (I’d suggest making two separate lists to keep the energy clean) then place this in a special box or envelope on the altar. You might develop a practice of checking-in daily at your altar, jotting down how you are doing with your particular issues, what’s coming up for you. This holds the space for transformation. And in ancient times, when requests were being made of the Gods and Goddesses, a sacrifice was always made, an offering.

What are you ready to give up to the Goddess? You could offer her your:

-Persistent relationship patterns you’d like insight and resolution around.

-Overspending and financial woes.

-Creative blocks and stuck artistic energy.

-Addictions and attachments, overeating and overindulgence.

You could even go “cold turkey” around these troubling areas: Stop overspending, refrain from entering into relationship, etc. Use the time to commit to unmasking your Venus’ deeper desires, starting a process of inquiry around those.  You can even track your process while tracking Venus in the sky*. Venus is currently visible, but on August 9 at 29 degrees of Leo she will descend, becoming invisible to the naked eye to travel with the Sun into the Underworld and exactly conjunct it on August 15 at 23 degrees of Leo. Around August 22, she will re-emerge as the Morning Star at 19 Leo – armed with new awareness for us around our values, worth, femininity and relationship patterns.

25 More Things to Do During Venus Retrograde

If you are like me and thinking about how to use this period to your best advantage, here’s my initial brainstorm to stimulate and tickle your pleasure chakra. Since Venus is fickle- our desires, sensibilities, likes and dislikes are particular to each of us- you might enjoy using this list merely as a launching point for your own list. Use your imagination!

Check in on your pleasure principle. Make a list of things you enjoy. Do you regularly do these things you enjoy, or are you saving fun for a rainy day? How is that working out for you?
Repay money you owe others. Pay your bills, clear your debt.
Spoil yourself. I know this may sound contradictory to the last statement, but an inexpensive bauble or pleasure can bring a huge lift to the self-esteem.
Reconnect with people from your past. This is obvious one, but a goodie.
Edit your wardrobe; clean out your closet; clear clutter (Venus in Virgo).
Return clothing you don’t wear or like, and give it away.  A good rule of thumb: if you haven’t worn it in over a year, ditch it to make way for new.
Replace synthetic beauty products with natural alternatives (Venus in Virgo).
Visit an art museum or gallery, but only spend time with the art you like! Noticing your yes’s and no’s is a good way to practice self-honoring.
Love your body. Re-dedicate yourself to self-care. Show love to all your body does for you thru positive action.
Rearrange artwork in your home or office to re-inspire good ideas.11. Return to a creative practice- if you used to love to draw, photograph, play guitar etc. why not pick it up again? It’s a great time to do so.
Listen to music you used to love. It’s like visiting an old friend.
Watch old favorite movies or plays (Princess Bride anyone?).
Reinvigorate your love for vintage art, film -the classics.
Revisit a creative project. This time it just might come together.
On a similar note, create new art out of old art – found objects, recycled items, manuscripts you’d tucked away. If you think someone has already done what you’re trying to do, remember: “There’s no such thing as original art.” -Andy Warhol
Ditch toxic relationships. Again, an obvious one but really if you are hanging around people who drain you of energy, smell funny or off to you, why are you doing that?
Pick up any of Julia Cameron’s books: The Artist’s Way, Finding Water, Walking in this World, How Not To Make Art. Unblock your inner creative. If not now, when?!
Catch up with women in your life who you admire and respect (Leo).
Make time to check in and/or play with kids (Leo). How are they really doing?
Hug an artist. It takes courage and persistence to make art in a world that doesn’t renumerate artists well. Tell them how much you appreciate them.
If you want to mend fences with another, apologise and make up if you need.
Re-examine your relationships. Are you happy? What patterns would you like to resolve or address?
Relax and restore yourself with a day off to do anything you like. How long has it been since you’ve done this?
Nurture your Venus right here with Venus Signs: Discover Your Erotic Gifts and Secret Desires Through Astrology .
Download my free e-book The Five Secrets of Venus right here.

 

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*ref: information on Venus cycle from Cayelin K Castell

This Cancer New Moon is a Goddess Moon. Like the summer season itself, Cancer holds our nostalgia for and faith in good things: family, patriotism, apple pie, watermelon on a hot day, unconditional love and our belief in others’ good kind hearts. This innocence is precious. When spread like butter on hot corn, it is compassion embodied, and it is what we Cancerians do well. Maiden-Mother-Crone Goddess reminds us to hold our hearts high and holy.

Yet, at this lunation, something stronger and fiercer is being served. Mars and Mercury join and oppose Pluto while Uranus squares the Sun. Pluto speaks the currency of personal power; Mars, self-assertion, courage and boundaries; Mercury, language and expression. Right now how we use language, how we define and draw our boundaries, matters, especially in areas of the heart, family, self-care, nurturing and mothering. By and large, how well we are doing with the above allows us to either move forward as wise adults or child-victims.

I just returned from going home, home being my (A*C*G*) Pluto ASC line, in New Mexico. In the past, I’d been thrust into the underworld of Plutonian family undercurrents and after a particularly difficult time with family I’d essentially avoided going back for years. But as Pluto started to square my Moon, I felt pangs of regret: this was costing me not only a relationship with my father but to my power as well. So I made sure I was good and ready (my intuition said, “Okay,” with contingencies: Take charge, and make this trip your own. With help, I set up a radio show, book talk and a booth at a spiritual fair). Once there, I knew everything could backfire — I was so incredibly busy and emotionally stretched. When I wasn’t “on” professionally, I was “on” with the family, or meditating and doing EFT for sanity. Yet it all worked. Because for the first time, I was prepared; I went in with a strategic plan. I had mapped out “safe topics” and those to avoid, had a clear understanding about exactly how my boundaries get violated by certain family members, language to use, and when/if all else failed, a back up plan. Growing up, my family had unhealthy boundaries so this plan heavily relied on my tenuous ability to draw strong boundaries. Why? Without boundaries, says MFT Stephanie Ladd, we are innocent like Little Red Riding Hood, weak, victims, at the mercy of others who try and control us. Without boundaries we are at the mercy of wolves.

This New Moon carries the message of the Goddess, and she may be pissed. Now is the time to embrace the Dark Goddess within. The embryonic fluid of our innocence may be blissful, but it gets icky after awhile when: We blame others. We project. We complain, feel victimised, too paralysed to take action -signs we can no longer afford to remain innocent Persephone skipping through fields of Narcissus without great cost to our happiness. We need to heal. To take responsibility. Stephanie again: (The Dark Goddess) helps us to face patterns, false, beliefs and wounds. She forces us to grow up, to die to our old self so we can thrive in the upper world as a Queen.

Because let’s face it: Life isn’t always fair. People die. Parents don’t always get the kids they deserve; kids don’t always get the parents they deserve. Those who love us also hurt us. And just because we love them doesn’t mean we can’t burnout or occasionally despise our dear child, and vice versa. These are Pluto hard truths, ugly truths we know in our bones, if we’re honest. It’s okay. We are human. But how we hold this information in our consciousness, and exactly what we do about it, makes all the difference in whether we feel resigned, bitter, victim or powerful strong.

We each have different areas of life that challenge us to be more resourceful. This is a powerful New Moon for compassionately holding our self in unconditional love -and- for doing the hard thing we must do in the name of self-care and sanity. So at this New Moon claim some private space and time to honor your feelings and your innocent, sweet heart. Then make a plan.  Because Persephone is ready for her well-seasoned, wiser, second act -as Queen.

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“If you can’t get rid of the family skeleton you might as well make it dance.” -George Bernard Shaw

“Your ancestors send you good wishes.” -Anon

“You do know that we are descendants of George Washington,” said my cousin, who proceeds to send me a text image of the index card my grandmother wrote up in her wobbly handwriting, with equally wobbly evidence of this linkage, before she died. The first time I heard this story I was sitting in my grandmother’s kitchen, age 8 or 9. Every family has their mythology and this one, while glamorous and fun to think about, was about as relevant to my life as some distant person never met, which is to say, not that much. My family life bore such scant resemblance to that of a noble leader and statesman it was laughable.

Yet we carry the ancestors in our bones - their stories are our stories, too. I’ve had too many spooky moments, poring over birth charts of my parents, their parents and their parents, with synchronous realisations to doubt this. I’ve even begun to open to the idea that every outlier or weird aberration in my own family story could have had its mirror counterpart in some distant relative’s story, too. For instance, my sister, our four cousins and me lost our mothers while young. Then a Capricorn client, friend and budding geneaologist (while exploring my family tree to help me see if I can find evidence of immigration from Scotland or Ireland) unearthed the fact that four of my grandfathers lost their mothers young, too. With Pluto in Capricorn currently squaring my Aries Moon, she opened a long-closed door I had to follow.

My family also has a legacy of mothers who “stepped-in” to raise the children of these mothers who died, likely in childbirth. Also motherless, I, too, stepped into my husband’s family and helped to raise children who are not my own. Some of my ancestors rose to the occasion; my Great-Great-Great Grandmother Sarah Jane Swearingen raised 7 of her husband’s children. But her son, Bion, and his second wife, only kept their biological child and apparently adopted out the five children from his first marriage (one census year they’re with their father, the next year they are in another state living under a different family name). Step parenting, taking responsibility for lives that were not planned on nor created by your flesh, blood and heart, is a complicated experience. I take an odd comfort in knowing my ancestors realities, one of rising to the occasion and the other, not, because both stories live inside me.

It’s Cancer Sun season, a time of reconnecting to soul, family, past. In so doing we receive a mirror our deepest self. Our mysterious patterns and vexing conditioning we often trace to our childhood or parents; our anger issues, our parents’ rocky marriage…but go back even further and you may find a relation from another century living an aspect of your life. Patricia Walsh, in her fascinating article Pluto in Capricorn and Ancestral Spirits, says, “You are not an island, and you stand at the end of a very long lineage, that still lives within and around you through the spirits of your ancestors.”

The Moon is Full in Capricorn. Under the light of this Capricorn Full Moon, the ancestral threads are humming, reminding you that the starry tapestry that you are is intermingled with the swirling threads of others’ lives, and lifetimes. Shamanic Pluto, that mysterious planet of hidden riches, is near this Full Moon. Like a crevice or crack in the side of a desert mountain suddenly revealed when the moonlight falls just so, what hidden treasure or resource is ready to be unearthed in your own psyche or life? With Jupiter conjunct Venus in royal, pedigreed Leo, the gift may be a generous one.

I never knew my biological grandfathers, but I now know my great-grandfathers and I share the legacy of motherless-ness, with it’s soul-stretching lessons of loss and independence, the spiritual resilience of having to make one’s way in the world without that motherly shoulder of support, and the sadness that hides in the shadows of a motherless family. In light of this new information, my stepmother role suddenly takes on new gravitas, as if my offering to nurture links me to generations who have, by necessity, attempted the same. Which brings me back to George Washington. Legal documents, painstakingly drawn up in an ancient inheritance dispute, revealed that my fourth great-grandfather, George Custer, was indeed George Washington’s cousin (making the first president of the United States my first cousin, 6 times removed). I have royal lineage in my blood. Even better? The birthday card I received from my stepdaughter that brought tears to my eyes, “I am so glad you are my stepmother.” I am so happy to say this: I’m glad I am, too.

Spiritual teachers tell us that our ancestors enjoy being remembered, just as we will want to be. Beyond this, why bother to remember? Chances are they left you something more than silverware place settings or dusty family photo albums… but you won’t stumble upon these immaterial mementos while cleaning the attic or basement. In order for the ancestral spirits to offer you their spiritual gifts, of connection, of insight into your own life dilemmas, you need to create a home for them to find you.

So amidst all the holiday barbecues and family gatherings, hug an elder, ask them questions, research your lineage or family tree. And look up. Untouchable and distant, full of cool warmth and white as bone, Grandfather Capricorn Moon shines down, reminding us that our lives extend both forward and backwards in time, and that our life, today – the choices we make, our victories and failures, shortcomings, gifts, regrets, our stubborn inner conflicts and the healing we bring to them -may be far bigger than our own.

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Have you noticed the celestial good vibes circulating – feelings of celebration, goodwill, affection and love?  Look up! As Venus and Jupiter visibly align in Leo this week (exact early Wednesday morning), we are under the influence of what the ancients called these two Greater Benefics (benefic=beneficial), and aspects like this one can cause us to feel soporific, in love with life, pleasantly lazy or indulgent.

Marsilio Ficino is my favorite ancient astrologer-physician-philosopher. He used the planets prescriptively, often suggesting enchanted talismans assembled at the right moment would incur the favor of the Gods for our project, desire or wish. He also prescribed remedial magic for difficult planetary influences and related maladies. For instance, he once said “Venus subdues Mars and Jupiter, Saturn.” I pull on this principle all the time; when my Mars is too hopped up on adrenaline, music and beauty always helps.

What might Marsilio Ficino suggest we do right now? What actions might we take to make the most of this lovely energy? Following the idea of magical sympathy and resonance, Ficino might suggest that we expose our self to those things and people that carry the Spirit of Venus and Jupiter. For instance, we could deeply contemplate a grand work of art, seek favor and support from higher ups (priests, philosophers and statesmen in his day, perhaps bosses and VIPS in ours) or create a talisman for love. Always taking into consideration the holism of the person in question, if our temperament is under the influence of Saturn (serious, scholarly, oppressed with worry) he might emphasise this as a time for upliftment from spiritual friends and texts, inspiration and connection; likewise, if we are naturally Jovial (expansive, inclined to indulge), moderation in all things sweet and wonderful. In his day, that might mean not visiting a brothel so as to avoid “Venus” diseases.

Or we might listen to music, which listened to at the right moment he considered a prayer that will attract its similar in kind, a sort of law- of-attraction technique. He said, “The music of Jupiter is earnest, sweet, deep and joyful with stability. To Venus, to the contrary, we ascribe songs voluptuous with wantonness and softness.” Ficino was also big on ritual dance- akin to purposeful, ecstatic dance. To try it out, he instructs: “While experiencing the motion of shining water, of clear air, of a fire that is not too close, and of the sky, you will receive the motion of the life, and the world; if you yourself also move lightly, and in almost the same way – executing as many gyrations as you can without dizziness, traversing the celestial bodies with your eyes, and revolving them in your mind.”

create an enchanted talisman for your project using sympathetic magic (rose quartz for support, carnelian for courage, etc..)
perform a love spell or publicly declare your love (for the spell, choose the evening before the full moon)
intentionally expose your self to the spirit of Venus and Jupiter
make a wish… and attract your wish to you through dance, song or music

Dance, sing, listen, create or simply appreciate, when the benefics alight, champagne tastes sweeter, roses smell more fragrant, friends and lovers are more charming than usual and the moonlight shines with more beauty. But don’t take my word for it, see for yourself.

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image source: inquisitor.com

references: The Natural Magic of Ficino by Angela Voss

 

My delectable friend Sofia Facebook’d me this morning…Y’know the pomegranate ritual? It’s too effective. I’ve been celibate for 10 months; is there something or a ritual to do to reverse it? PLEASE say yes! I created The pomegranate ritual because using shimmery sexual chemistry as a qualifying factor for a partner, which while good at attracting a partner of the moment, never attracted a life partner for me.  Instead of compulsively following the sexual buzz, I wanted to take back my sexual power so it no longer overrode my intuition (it worked!). If you want to shift into a more self-possessed relationship to your sexual body, sensual magnetism and attractiveness, try it.

However, turning off your mojo is not the point of this spell. When you decide you want to stop running sexual energy through your body in the same old way it can take time and creativity to figure out your new relationship to this energy. One of the better ways to play with your kundalini energy, using it to magnetise and attract, is through imagination, art and spell work. Give your libido another outlet, I say!

That said, here’s a spell for sexy Sofia- which you can do whether you’re single or in a relationship, to light your fire again, to get that sexual shimmer going in your relationship. Water and fire have special significance for summer solstice (here in the Northern hemisphere), clearly a time of rejuvenation, abundance, relaxation and pleasure- ingredients for your sensual side to ripen and bloom.

When to do it: On Solstice, which stimulates both Mars and Venus in 2015; Mars enters Cancer, and Venus enters pre-shadow phase. Or, if you have an astrological calendar, look for a harmonious aspect of water and fire interacting in your chart. Best dates: harmonious aspects to the Moon, Mars, Jupiter and/or Venus, and/or on a Friday. You know your chart; use your intuition!
You will need: A bowl of water, a lush flower symbolising your fertile ripe readiness (perhaps a lily, or another tropical flower), an aphrodisiacal scented essential oil of your choice like ylang-ylang, jasmine, neroli, rose or cinnamon, and an orange candle.
What to do: Sit next to a mirror (which amplifies the energy of this spell) and recite:

By Water, I am clear, open and receptive to a loving, spiritual partner.

I am the sweet flowing streams, the peaceful lakes, the wide open sea of love (take the flower out of the bowl and put behind your ear).

By Fire, I carry the eternal flame of passion which never goes out.

As I spark passion, joy and desire in the hearts of everyone I meet (anoint your third eye and pulse points with the oil), I stay connected to my intuition, my deeper wisdom and my soul’s truth.

Blessed by Water and Fire, I am open and ready for the one I most desire.

To complete the ritual, if you choose, follow with a Magical Bath: see my book, A Love Alchemist’s Notebook.

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image source: Flaming June by Sir Frederick Leighton

 

 

As a young school girl, I remember looking forward to this time of year. School was out and summer break beckoned: A three month stint of lazing by the pool, playing with friends, camping trips, trips to visit relatives and plenty of time to whittle away at my Nancy Drew book collection. Mostly I looked forward to freedom- from the ho-hum of same stuff, different day. By May I was fidgety and bored, ready as a bottle rocket to burst out the school door and while I didn’t have the superpowers make the world brand new again, I suspected that summer could.

Now I know astrology’s divine hand was behind it all, guiding our lives as naturally as the seasons do.  As summer approaches, our collective spirits hunger for change, variety, and the magic of fresh spanking new perceptions. A season for vacationing to places near and far, with the right eyes and an open-mind for magic we don’t need to go far; we could take a walk around the block to get a new perspective, or find it in our own front yard. I usually write you from my office, but not today. Today I am perched in my front yard where chickens cluck, birds chirp, the trees sway in the breeze and the sunshine puts the sort of sparkle on everything that makes me wonder if it’s trying to sell out on springtime… because summer’s moving in.  Sun and Moon are in Gemini, goading me out of old patterns, reminding me of my hunger for fresh air, a change of scenery, new inspirations. I am ready to be inspired.

Gemini is the archetype of the storyteller, networker, communicator, teacher. Through language and ideas, through cross-pollinating different influences, takes and strategies, through experimenting with new ideas and techniques, Gemini comes up with something fresh and new. Gemini’s greatest resource is childlike curiosity, which often arrives in the form of a question. What would that be like? Ooh, what would that look like? How much fun would THAT be?! Curiosity, when vigilantly followed, guarantees they’ll never be bored – an often challenging condition for restless Gemini. So Gemini’s strategy is to fit as much as it can into a summer’s day (or a lifetime), to taste, try and touch everything, which often includes (but is not limited to): learning new things, books, travel, social events, chatting, dance, movement …anything novel refreshes our spirit.

We all have Gemini in our birth chart, an area that when explored with curiosity will yield thousands of hours of endless fascination during our lifetime, and an area when touched off by a planet or lunation inspires our voice and enlivens our spirit. We can also collaborate with and receive feedback from others here, as Gemini needs input and stimulation from the environment to truly thrive and grow.  In what area of your life are you ready to both speak and listen, to be invigorated by spirit and made brand new again? To find out, look to where 25’07′ Gemini falls in your birth chart. For one client, this Gemini New Moon is in her fourth house. She’s a natural storyteller. Memories are bubbling up from her unconscious, ready to be written, spoken. “I can see it now; these stories are lining up like people wanting to come into being. They need midwifery!,” she exclaimed. Synchronous with this discovery, she received an invitation to tell her story at a “tales and ales” open mic night. For another client, a Gemini Rising, this Moon falls in her first house. All it takes is one conversation and the beast is unleashed; a brainstorm session between us yields a potpourri of ideas for her newly published author identity to try on and run with. She leaves my office like a woman on fire, ready to take on the world.

Speaking of fire, New Moon joins hot Mars, planet of action, courage, honesty, anger, sexuality, energy. This is no shy, retiring Moon! If you need the courage to express yourself, you may find it. Boldly express. Mars sharpens words so be sure and use non-violent communication strategies. As we hunger for action, motion, mental stimulation and an overall change of pace, Mars fans the flames of our curiosities and interests with gusto and enthusiasm, and brings focus to this often scattered-in-ten-directions sign. While new projects involving communication and learning now have the energy to back them up, Gemini is a mutable sign which means we will need to make adaptations in order to carry out our goals. Stay loose in your approach. We might do well to adopt the spontaneous attitude of an improv storyteller or comic on open mic night: be experimental, flexible, open-minded and keep your sense of humor.

At this New Moon, we need breadth instead of depth, variety and flexibility instead of fixed ideas. Consider everything, throw out nothing. Ask questions, reach out, take a trip, have conversations, learn, tell your story. This is a new moon, always a time for new beginnings. Don’t wait for the stale air to dissipate; do something. Pick up the phone, reach out, make that connection, do a vision board, set an intention. Lunch, laugh, launch. With Mars seeding this cycle, the time for mulling it over is over. It’s time to take action.

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