C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 61

Creature



I'm barely human. I'm more like a creature; to me, everything gives off a scent! Thoughts, moments, feelings, movements, words left unsaid, words barely spoken; they all have a distinct sense, distinct fragrances! Both a smell and a touch! To inhale is to capture, to experience! I can perceive and I can "touch" in so many odd ways! And so I am made up of all these scents, all these feelings! An illumination of nerve endings!

I show you my photos, because when I look at photos, in them I have caught an aroma, each one exciting, and I share these photos with you because I want you to inhale! I want these scents to become a part of you, too!

And what I write...they are encapsulated aromas that I pick up, and I share this with you, because I want you to inhale what I'm inhaling, I want you to smell this scent.





Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.





Saint Paul Trois Châteaux: 1948 (buy my novella today)   FaceBook (join the family now)  Goodreads (add me as a friend)

I don't think I really have a respect for time. If I have met you once and to me you are a true friend, then in my soul you will remain my true friend for life and in my life the few memories that we have will replay themselves in my mind to make up for your absence and to me you will be a best friend. A true friend. But even if we share the same blood in our veins but towards me you only have envy and vile intentions, the blood that we share in our veins will to me mean nothing. I really don't think that I have a respect for time. If I see you across the street, look into your eyes and then feel the blood in my flesh rush to my face and warm all my extremities, and you look into my eyes and your veins pulsate under your skin; then with you I have fallen in love! I have loved you, even if those were but a few moments that I shared with you from across the street that will never come back to me again, and I will hope for you; hope that at any given time in the future you could be standing in front of the street and looking into my soul again, wanting me. I will hope for you and I will love you; even if I only knew you for a few moments and have never felt your touch. But if you spend twelve years with me and touch me every day, look into my eyes and do not know me, I will not love you. I will not love you even if time has been given to us. I will not love you if when you look into my eyes you do not see me and I will not love you though you hold me close and try to make me love you, if you cannot find me like the one who can find me within a few moments in time, then I will not love you.

Time is not my master.





Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I am overjoyed speechless to receive the first blogged book review of my novella Saint Paul Trois Châteaux: 1948. As I read the review, my eyes began to well up with tears.





There is no feeling comparable to the feeling that I get when I feel that someone has truly understood and truly felt and for a while has truly lived in what I have written.





I have received book reviews before for my novella, on Amazon and Goodreads, but this is the first blogged book review which means that someone has dedicated a post on their blog to review my book and in doing so, has told all their followers and friends and visitors about the whole experience with my words on ink and paper. This means so much to me, because I am a one-man-band but my parade grows more and more colorful and more and more musical when other people join in on it! I rely on word-of-mouth.





I am so thankful and there's not much that I can say. I didn't send Sares a free copy of my book, she bought a copy of my book, herself. Please visit Sares (Sareski) to read her review of my book. She keeps a very creative blog that I do enjoy very much visiting, where she can share her shabby-chic creations of vintage and antiques and everything else that is ticklish and adorable. Visiting her blog puts a smile on my face, I tell her, that I would love to own a shoppe like hers one day and immerse myself in all things lovely all the time!





xx

Necessity And Invention



An unknown someone once said: "Necessity is the mother of all invention." I feel like this sentence accurately depicts my life. I constantly feel as though I am being pushed off the edge of rocky cliffs in the universe. I try to step backwards and find my footing but I can't! There is a big hand steadily pressing me towards the edge of the cliff and try as I might, I am destined to fall off of it! At first, I curse and deny whatever I believe in, for allowing me to find myself in this position and its in a rage that I turn around, kick the hand that pushes me, and then JUMP! I throw myself off of that cliff!

But I can see that it's during these times, during these "throws" that I burst and give birth to stars! I tell you, there are some stars in the sky with my blood in them! And it's during these throws that I frantically unfurl my wings and try to fly! I may have learned how to fly already, but there's always a new wind to master at every new height, at every new altitude. When there's nowhere else to go, you are forced to throw yourself and at first you will feel betrayed and forsaken. But I have learned that the big hand which pushes you is actually trying to make you see: "You can go so much further, you can fly so much higher, you can give birth to stars; you can put stars in the sky!"

The conception of each star was at the point of no return; of a desperate soul struggling to master the winds!











Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.



I'm not going to be sharing as much of my writings on here, as before. I am trying to keep my writings unpublished until they are published in paper and ink. I find it unprofessional to publish in a book all the contents of a writer blog, I believe the blogs and the books should have a discernible distinction. At the moment, I am hoping to publish my second book of poetry and prose in the future, which will be the merging of three manuscripts of my poetry and prose, most of which has never been shared with anyone before. I don't have the resources nor the time to publish now, but one day in the future I will. It's hard for me to hold myself back from sharing my writings, because I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to share what I write, the moment that I write it! But, I think that I am coping better now with the issue of self-control regarding this. Although, this piece here I just wrote some 20 minutes ago, and I have decided to share it with all of you now! I hope that you learn from it, and love it as well!



At my FaceBook Page, one can receive my raw, unpolished, unworn, newborn thoughts and words. I am thankful to all the people that are part of my FaceBook family, who have chosen to join me on my journey! Those people inspire me beyond belief!



The things that I say on FaceBook turn into "quotes" and therefore are of a different nature than my poetry and prose, so those I share right away, and I want everyone to feel free to spread these quotes amongst their families and friends. Just don't forget to quote my name. Sometimes I read words by other people being quoted on blogs and etc. and sadly, the names of the authors of those quotes, aren't given recognition. We all don't want that to happen to me, do we? :)



It is my hope that you my readers, will support me by buying copies of my novella which I put so much of my mind and soul in to. I love to share, but at the same time I want to not only give but also to take. If you buy copies of my books, I would definitely be inspired to write more. Life cannot only be give, you also have to take. And in my life, I plan to give and take. A lot of people want to admire the magnificent painting, but a hundred of these admirers pass on by without buying it! Yet for those moments that you viewed the sidewalk painting, a bit of joy, a moment in time, has been embedded especially in your life, because of it. It's not too hard to buy it. :)



Share my writings with your friends and family, encourage them to support me as well, join my facebook page and help spread the word; simple gestures and efforts like that are always appreciated very much. ♥ And I always remain thankful to you, for reading what I write, for visiting me here at my blog, for quoting me on the many things that I say and share with you. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you. ♥

A short note written with happiness: My friend and "grampy" is so thoughtful and so kind enough to dedicate a post on his blog, just to me. He offered to write a post all for me and all about me, on his blog, because he genuinely wants to help me succeed as a writer. In this modern era, it is extremely difficult for authors to succeed. There is an astounding amount of competition, and authors have to pay people lots of money to promote them, so they can make book sales. I have been swamped by daily emails from companies and individuals and organizations offering promotional services for fees. There are so many things an author can do to become famous: we can pay someone to put an ad of us in the NY Times, we can pay someone to run an ad for us on major news networks, we can pay people to get us an interview on morning TV shows, we can pay people to get us a seat on Oprah, there are companies that we can pay to translate our books into scripts for making our stories into Hollywood movies! And so much more! I have become so overwhelmed by their efforts to make money off of me, that there's a time I seriously had to step away and try to regain my peace. In that time, I decided to remain in my own river, and to allow everyone else to jump into their swimming pools and lakes and puddles and what-nots and make loud splashes and play in their water, while I sit silently and do what I can, for myself. There's not so much I can do, really. I have a FaceBook page which I treat as my raw drafting pad, where my raw and unpolished newborn thoughts are first released, then I have a twitter account which reflects the posts I make on my FaceBook Page, and I have this blog, which I began keeping some years ago when I didn't realize it would turn into a writer's blog! Back then in that day, I simply used this blog to voice my opinions and write stories about what I did over the weekend!



What grampy has done for me- his offering to share to his own blog readers about me- touches me, because people don't really do that for anyone, anymore. I can't imagine anyone close to me doing that for me, really. Not even family members. People don't do that for me, unless I am going to offer to pay them. Like I said, I am overwhelmed by all the offers from people that promise they truly care about promoting my work but for a fee. I am so overcome by all of this, that; I have chosen to go by my own way and do my own thing. So for grampy to wholeheartedly offer to make this post for me, about me, is really a lot bigger deal than it may look like.



He told me that he never used to read poetry until he discovered my writings. I told him that is the greatest honor for me to hear, as a writer. I mean, there are a lot of writers who appeal to readers. But to hear that I appeal to non-readers is the greatest honor. This isn't the first time I've been told this. I've in fact been told this again and again. Over and over again. I think that the bulk of my readers, were not born readers, but they later were born in my hands. This is the greatest honor; a greater honor than selling a million copies of my book, a greater honor than being in all the bookstores all over the world, it's more than what I asked for. I can become disheartened when I look at how fast other authors shoot to the top in their sales and publicity, but then when I stop looking out there and stay still here in my river and look back at my original dreams, I can see that I have received and I have achieved far more than what I dreamt to have. I dreamt three things: 1. To make my own books, 2. For my books to be on people's bookshelves, and 3. For people to quote the things that I say and write, and live by them. All of my dreams have come true, and what's more, is people actually love what I write and that's something I didn't ask for.



Thank you, Grampy. And thank you, every one who loves what I write.





xoxo,

Bells

I recently read a post by my blogger friend, Josep from Catalonia  (whom, I might add, has been a supportive force in my writing since a long time ago, since around the first year I began keeping my writings on this blog). And in the post, I read this statement he quoted from an author, just to share the author's thoughts with others (not necessarily a reflection of Josep's own opinions on writing):



"When I'm traveling, and not alone at my desk, after a while I get depressed. I'm happy when I'm alone in a room and inventing. More than a commitment to the art or to the craft, which I am devoted to, it is a commitment to being alone in a room. [...] I need solitary hours at a desk with good paper and a fountain pen like some people need a pill for their health." -- Orhan Pamuk



I simply feel compelled to share my story of how I write, after having read this, because it surprises me how I am so different as a writer, how my writing process is so different.



You see, if I am sitting in the middle of a crowded, wild, subway train, looking at all the different faces, all the varied expressions, listening to all the many foreign languages and voices and sounds from inside and from outside; the announcements, the feel of the jolting halts of the train on the tracks, all of these motions and sounds of life are what will inspire me to write characters, stories! This evidence of life and abundance of sound all around me is what's going to propel me into understanding things I never understood before, see things that I never saw before (both literally speaking and metaphorically speaking), and become things that I wasn't, before. My point is, I think I am a living writer. Not that other writers are all dead (although, yes a lot are dead already) but I think that I write from life. I'm not trying to escape anything, but I am trying to experience everything!



I shared this on my FaceBook page not so long ago: "I hope I don't write TOO many books! When I look at authors who have written too many books, I wonder to myself "When did they live?" I certainly want to write BECAUSE I live! I know I don't want to write in order to live! My writing is an overflow of the wine glass of my life, not a basin in which I wash out my ideals and expectations."



My words are born of life, born of noisiness, born in the solitudes of seemingly everlasting minutes that are made up of reflective moments when I find myself quite literally lost on the map! My sentences are born on the precarious curbs of busy highways, in the underground train stations, inside jam-packed buses. My written words are birthed on public benches and on lonely walks down unfamiliar alleys in foreign lands, they come into this world on the marble tiles at the Trevi Fountain and on the ancient Spanish Steps, they find their voices amongst the low hum-drum in crowded piazzas and marketplaces, they find their destinies in this world in the cold Parisian Spring breeze and in the chicken donor eateries lining the streets of London.  My paragraphs are drafted on the yellow boulders on Portovenere and polished by the magic of ordinary days in my own kitchen and living room. My words are born of life and living and flying, and I never know what I'm going to say next! Because I never know until I've lived it!



XX





Just a note to all my readers and friends: after having revisions made to it's back cover, my novella will not be available for purchase until the revisions are made throughout all the copies of my book in circulation. This will take a few more weeks, and I am growing impatient (right now, you can't buy my book anywhere except on Amazon and CreateSpace) but I also think that its very efficient of them to re-design every single copy of my book out there. It would have been fine with me if they simply sold the existing copies (un-revised versions), but, they insist on every copy out there looking exactly the same ,so be it. Sorry for this delay, but in the meantime, you may purchase a copy of my book at CreateSpace or on Amazon. :)

Well, I was hoping to save this piece for my new book (second edition of The Sun Is Snowing Poetry & Prose) but there are some writings of mine that I try hard to hold onto so I can keep for a next book, but I just can't. As I write and share what I write, I feel that I do myself a great deal of good (in the writing and in the sharing), also that I am giving and sharing something that can do and is doing a great deal of magic in and for the reader. This particular piece is very meaningful and I feel the urge to share it now, and not wait and keep it away from human eyes...











Water Lilies



I think there are those of us who are born into this world like fervently glorious water lilies blooming upon an open aquamarine sky in the Summer! Or maybe some of us are born in the Spring, or in the Fall, or even the Winter! But we are all born glorious water lilies that blossom and float in the skies, like meaning, like answers, like visions, like dreams. But then as time goes by, we are lied to, we are abused, we are accused, judged, denied, and misunderstood. We are envied, and pulled down, we are stoned and we are crushed, we are left bloody and bruised. We are blinded by the shadow of religion, strangled by the hand of society, and bludgeoned by the fists of mediocrity. When these things happen, it's hard to remember how we were born, it's difficult to recall who we once were, it takes a lot to see even a glimpse of the glory that we came into this world in, it's too easy to forget what we used to be. But I have learned that it is possible. We can remember, it is possible to again become what we once were. We can remember.

Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.











Did you know that you can actually RENT my novella? :) I was so thrilled when I found this out (I just found this out) So, you can rent my novella for either a semester, a quarter, or a summer! If you're curious or interested, just click to visit CampusBookRentals.com

Below you'll find a piece I very recently wrote. I put this together by "taping" together the things I have shared over on my FaceBook Page the past few days. Or was that just yesterday?? You see, my FaceBook page is like my drafting pad, when I understand something, see something, realize something, it goes directly onto my FaceBook Page. So, the people who are connected with me on my FaceBook Page get the raw and nude writings in real time! This piece is polished and I wrapped it up with an ending that I wasn't able to share first on my FB Writer Page. So, ending of this piece seen first here on my blog! :)













The Wind Against Your Face



Pain is a pesky part of being human, I've learned it feels like a stab wound to the heart, something I wish we could all do without, in our lives here. Pain is a sudden hurt that can't be escaped. But then I have also learned that because of pain, I can feel the beauty, tenderness, and freedom of healing. Pain feels like a fast stab wound to the heart. But then healing feels like the wind against your face when you are spreading your wings and flying through the air! We may not have wings growing out of our backs, but healing is the closes thing that will give us that wind against our faces.

As long as you harbor bitterness in your heart towards the people, reasons, and situations that caused you pain in your life, you are inhibiting yourself, withholding yourself from the beautiful, sublime experience of healing! To have bitterness and hate is to deny yourself one of the most fulfilling wonders of living! Because it is like this; your struggles of pain are like journeys walking barefoot on roads of thorns! You walk these roads because you want to get to the magnificent place at the end of the road! It can be anywhere you want it to be: a tranquil seashore, a serene mountaintop, a joyous playground, a happy Christmas morning breakfast; you walk these paths of thorns to get to a place. Now imagine getting to the end of the path and then turning around to walk back over the road again! And again and again! That's what you are doing when you hold on to bitterness and resentment and hate. You don't have to like the people or the situations that hurt you, but you have to look forward to the end of the road, you have to look forward to getting to that place. During the process of pain, it's vital for us to feel an eagerness in our hearts to arrive at that place at the end of the agonizing journey. It's very needful that we recognize the reason for pain, which is healing!

A result is something that occurs because of something else. But a reason is an answer to why, a meaning to something given. Healing is not a result, healing is a reason. We are given pain because of healing. In order to experience healing, we go through pain.





Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.





Have you visited the home of my novella lately? As you can see on the web site, it's now available for purchase at more and more places! :) Enjoy a beautiful day, everyone!

I have recently stumbled into Inner Peace! And I have decided to remain here eternally! I want to share with you all, the things which I have been unearthing! This is called Inner Peace 3, because it is the third creation I have, on peace!







Inner Peace 3



Let me tell you a secret. Inner Peace is not something we can fight to achieve but Inner Peace is a force so powerful that fights for us. There is a battle going on for you! Inner Peace, He fights for you! Your only part is to let go of the fears and the worries that you hold and clench so close to your heart; the things you think will protect you. You squat on the shoulders of fear and you sit atop the head of worry, thinking that these two will give you the hindsight you need to protect yourself, to ensure your safety. The only job you have is to dismount yourself from the shoulders of fear and come down from sitting on the head of worry/doubt (the two are conjoined twins). Because, for as long as you are mounted upon the two, Inner Peace cannot win your battle for you! How can He fight these with you on top of them, holding onto them for dear life?

Dismount yourself, and let Inner Peace fight the fight and win the battle.



Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.



With that having been said, I want to let you all know that I am more than very pleased with my second edition book of poetry and prose! I was pleased with my first book, The Sun Is Snowing, but I am farther more pleased with its second edition on the way (of which I have changed the title and now have a new title for, so cross your fingers on that!) My second edition Poetry-Prose book will be around three times thicker than the first book! Yes! Very thick book of poetry and prose filled with many things no one else has ever read before! Only me! But at the same time, I look forward to selling it at a cheaper price than what my current book is selling at! Because I will be producing my book under a new publisher, who allows me to determine the price of my books (within a reasonable suggested price range, of course) So, I am elated, and proud of myself, and looking forward to you being able to hold my writings in your hands and put them on your bookshelves!

By the way, would you like to visit the Trevi Fountain in Rome? Then browse through my photo album Fontana di Trevi!

Hey guys! Look at what I found under lock and key! A writing of mine from back in November of '09! Wow, I've really been writing for that long?! HAHAHAHAHAHA but of course I have! It is a very, how can I say it; it feels like a very antiquated sort of a feeling to come across something that you wrote a long time ago, before you were who you are today! It feels like opening a vault or a treasure chest, something like that! You will all love this piece written by a me whom I have almost forgotten! I know you will all love it!



I want all of you to remember and take note of something very important! I want you all to know that you shouldn't buy my The Sun Is Snowing book right now, because,  it is under "re-construction"! This means that I am doing an overhaul of my first book, changing the interior and exterior of the book, I'm pulling out some of the old pieces and putting in a lot of new ones (like the one here which is not in the current edition of TSIS). The newly-reconstructed TSIS will be called a second edition, it will look totally different, the contents will be greatly varied and you will be able to read a lot more of my work of which you can't read in my book at the moment. So, if you haven't bought a copy of The Sun Is Snowing yet, please wait for the second edition to come out before buying, and if you already have my book, buying the second edition will be like buying a new book because as I explained above, I am adding so much more of my new work to the book, changing everything in and out, so buying the second edition will be worth it and I can assure you that you will be happy with the new buy. I swear it! I pinky swear it! :-) Most of the pieces I have written after the first release of the first edition TSIS are very strong and lingering, a lot stronger and more poignant than the pieces that you can currently read in my book. Hence I promise you a better read with my The Sun Is Snowing (second edition).



The Sun Is Snowing (second edition) will also be much more affordable! I will be published with a new publisher (the same people who brought my novella to life) and as you can see for yourselves, the price of my novella is far less costly compared to my first book and this means that my second edition TSIS will be much more affordable than it is now. I am surprised that so many people are buying The Sun Is Snowing at it's current outrageous price! But, people are still buying it! Nevertheless, I want to offer my book of poetry at a cheaper price.



Enjoy my writing below, and when you are finished reading it, you can go check out my new photo album Bois de Vincennes!















Like A Dove(November 10, '09)

There you standYour armor glistensIn the sunlightYour sword sharpSharp as deathBut your eyesAre soft likeA dove's eyes

And you callCall to meAnd you sayCome to meMeet me hereWhere I amIn my armorWith my sword

Here I amIn my towerAnd they sayThere is noKnight in armorAnd they sayKnights are deadKnights are buried

But you callCall to meAnd your armorGlistens in sunlightYour sword sharpSharp as deathYour eyes softSoft like doves

I will comeCome to youMeet you thereIn your armorArisen from deathNo grave holdsMy own knightKnight in armor

From my towerI will descendAll the voicesSay you're naughtThat you're deadThat you're buriedThat there's noKnight in armor

But I crossCross the bridgeI will crossCross the lakeI will runRun to youYour dove eyesCall to me

Soft like breathI am hereI will goGo with youFrom this towerFrom this bridgeFrom this lakeTake me away

Your heart softSoft like dovesThe air perfectPerfect like morningOn your horseWe ride awayThe voices lieYou are real







Copyright © 2011 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.