G.L. Lambert's Blog, page 25

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Today's Podcast is about options! You should be dating more than one person at a time. You think men are turned off by a woman who is in high demand, wrong! They want to see what the fuss is about, ask Lori Harvey... Here are some tips to make sure you do it properly and build a roster of people who can bring something to your table....

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Spoiler: The Links You click throughout this page can and will change your life…

For those of you that have met me in person, you already know that my favorite question to ask is, “What’s your favorite article?” I ask because I’m always curious to see what topics connect the most. One girl squeezed the hell out of my arm once and yelled, “Pussy Until Proven Wifey is my shit!” and went on to tell me how she didn’t think a lot of what I said applied until after she got her heart broken, and then I seemed like a prophet… One really dope story was an Australian woman who read “The Truth About Soul Mates” and broke off her relationship, only to end up marrying a man she would have missed out on if not for walking away at the right time.

This site has also led to some great friendships and connections over the years. I met a woman who ended up becoming one of my best friends after she brokered a TV deal for Ho Tactics. I’ve been invited to weddings where we toasted to this website and what it meant to the couple. I’ve been inspired by Spartans who now have little Spartans of their own. I’ve traveled the world preaching empowerment. Shit, I remember being in London where I met a stranger who after 20 minutes of chit chat screamed “Wait. Black Girls Are Easy? Why didn’t you say you wrote Black Girls Are Easy!” …I didn’t know if she was going to stab or hug me.

It’s been an amazing run and I literally have a story to tell based off nearly every entry because each one connects on a certain level depending on the person. For most “Are You Wifey or Pussy” was their first introduction to this site, for others “Are Today’s Men Scared of Pussy” and “Why Can’t Women Handle Dick,” led them here. “Stop Being The Bottom Bitch” was the first one that went viral while “Stop Being The Right Man For The Wrong Woman” had men finally nodding along in agreement. From Long Distance Relationships, to The Law of Attraction, even how to snatch another girl’s man…there’s so much I’ve touched on, some topics were so popular that I wrote about them a few times or updated my old advice based on recent results. You can get lost trying to go back and dig through the crates, so I thought that I would do my personal Top Ten with links to my past favorites and why I chose them:

10) Why Women Should Date Multiple Men

Every single woman reading this who is actively ready to date, should be dating at least two men at a time. I know I know… you don’t have the energy for that, you don’t have that many options, blah blah fucking blah. This article was the first time I touched on this topic because I recognized early in the game that women were dating ass backwards. As men, we date around and don’t feel guilty. It’s the fucking dating stage or “talking stage” as the basica’s say, why are you being loyal? “A man won’t want a woman that’s out there dealing with other guys” Sis, he’s not your fucking man so why do you care? Dating doesn’t mean sex, it doesn’t mean you spend 24 hours with him. To date multiple men is as easy as going out with Paul on Friday and Nick on Saturday. Two fucking days of the week. You can’t do that? You think you’re going to burn in hell or break down in tears when a man asks “so who else do you talk to”? Jeez. The women who have used this advice have been plentiful and NONE of them have come back complaining, if anything they come back with thanks and pictures of a wedding ring. Read it, and master it ==== CLICK HERE TO READ.

9) How To Upgrade A Situationship

Too many of you settle for come over and chill, you let men dictate the pace, and you even lie to yourself and say “I don’t want anything serious either” until a few months of fucking and bonding makes you run to me with “how do I reset the rules, I want a real relationship now” This oldie but goodie stands the test of time. If you’re in a situationship, friends with benefit relationship, or stuck in relationship purgatory, I recommend you read it ASAP ==== Click Here To Read

8) You’re Going To Be Cheated On

Men cheat…a lot. 90% of you in a relationship now have been cheated on and those of you in new relationships will most likely be cheated on because we as men love one thing above sports or video games– new pussy. Being in love won’t make a man stay faithful, fucking him every day won’t make him stay faithful, sucking the soul out his body with bomb head won’t make him stay faithful. Males are horrible at temptation, she doesn’t even have to be that pretty, she just has to know how to bait us the right way. This article is for women and men alike, as it’s not a guarantee that a man will cheat nor is it a reflection of the woman if he does. I know it’s scary and it’s triggering, but trust issues or not, read it and be prepared ==== Click Here To Read

7) Why Won’t He Let Go When He Doesn’t Want You

In the years I’ve been doing this site one fact stands out. Women don’t understand male logic. The way men think is so foreign. Guys chase women they don’t want. They make promises they never intend on keeping. They act like sex isn’t everything then it becomes the thing that ruins the relationship. Guys lie to women a lot, they mislead, embellish, and guilt women when they get near the truth. I break the “guy code” a lot. What do men think? They don’t give a fuck because a Basica who wants to give him pussy based on lies and manipulation will give him pussy. Regardless, I wrote this to help those women who are blind and ignorant to the bullshit of men, enjoy ==== Click Here To Read.

6) Educated Fool:

I’m proud to say that this isn’t a website where ratchets go to learn to be more ratchet, and that most of my demographic are college educated women who have their own. This article is my kick in the ass to women who are so smart but act so damn dumb when it comes to seeing through male bullshit. Does degrees won’t keep you warm, but this article will ====  CLICK TO READ

5) How To Build Your Roster

I wrote so Lori Harvey could run! The Sequel to Women Need To Date Multiple Men is all about how to date and audition men without being caught up. This is a favorite of many women and has lead to the most marriages as women who know how to hustle males and make them chase always win out. If you have the Spartan heart and are sick of dating one at a time, this is your stop ==== Click Here To Read.

4) Spoiler Alert He Doesn’t Want You:

He says he loves you. He says he’s fighting for your “relationship”. He says he’s going to be more consistent. He fucks you like that dick is yours. Give it a few weeks or a few months and he’ll be on to the next like you never existed. Why do men do that? Did his feelings die out? Did he never have them to begin with? Why go through all of that trouble and play all those games? Welcome to the world of dating, beloved. Most men don’t like you, let alone love you. If you’re ready for the hard truth read this legendary entry that hurt many feelings but birthed meany Spartans ==== Click Here To Read.

3) Why Are Black Women So Difficult

Before the site’s name change I was always asked, “Why did you call it Black Girls Are Easy?” And my smart ass, sick of answering that question response was, “Because you wouldn’t have clicked the link if I called it, Black women are great.” But the true definition comes in the form of one of my all-time favs. So read this, and never ever fix your mouth to ask me what the meaning of the title is again. CLICK TO READ

2) Weak Bitch Ways:

If you want to point to one post that epitomizes Spartanhood, it’s not “Duh Spartan!” It’s Weak Bitch Ways, because it gives you direct examples of what really stands in your way—your mindset. A weak and timid psyche that leads to indecisive and exploiting behavior. A man can’t game a woman that’s thinking straight, but he can work a number on a woman that’s confused, lonely, and full of a want to be loved. CLICK TO READ

1) Ghosting, Guilting, and other Mind Games – How To Guard Against Gaslighting

Gaslighting is one of those words that gain popularity in the past five years, but it’s been around forever. Most of you are confused and what a man wants and the rest of you are afraid to walk away when he keeps pushing you away and pulling you back. I try not to get too clinical as I want this site to be something anyone can read no matter if you’re 16 or 56, but this was one instance where I was so pissed at the female abuse that I let the machine gun spray. This is the starting point for any woman that feels lost or confused, it’s not you love, it’s probably him ==== Click To Read

Are You Ready To Make This Decade A Spartan Decade?



The Books…



Men Don’t Love Women Like You:

This book is mandatory and certain parts should be highlighted and read weekly. I talk to so many women and have to say “You know that’s all in MDLWLY” and they’re like… “oh”. That book will literally give you what you’re willing to put in. If you skim it or half read it, then it’s just another book on the shelf. BUT if you read it, understand it, and test it out for yourself with the confidence described then you will win. It’s won awards, it’s gotten me in rooms with famous people who I had no idea even needed relationship advice, and most importantly it’s given men and women a Blueprint to take back their power… Click Here To Read

…Ho Tactics:

Ho Tactics: How To MindFuck… is truly “The Secret” of relationship books and has given way to real breakthrough moments where women have regained their confidence in a practical way that they couldn’t with Solving Single. I set out to make an Ikea like easy to follow guide, and those that had the courage to follow the steps, have done it! It really is unlike anything I had written before. At first the title threw people off as if I was going against my Girl Power beliefs, but for any woman that’s read it, Ho Tactics has nothing to do with prostituting yourself out, but reaffirming how to mentally take control over any situation.

I exposed the game and how easy it is for any woman to master. Men use Dick Tactics every day to run game, I figured it was time to even up the playing field, so even the women with the lowest self esteem could get their WORTH! From the response—mission accomplished. CLICK TO READ

Honorable mention: Solving Single, my first book is the best of this blog, well the first five years of it, and is a very easy read that introduces you to the first stage of the Spartan Mindset.

Also big shout out to all the guest writers over the years Bmore Banner, Derrick Jaxn, Adara, Nefarious Bliss, and Wisdom Is Misery…

Most importantly thank YOU for all the love and support! Make sure to Tweet me your personal favorite and the reason why.

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Far From BasYc

Today's Podcast is about YOU. Self Esteem doesn't come easy. Here are some ways to instantly improve your self-esteem and become more confidence and Spartan Up......

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Guy 1: Worked with this woman for over a year, really liked her, they had a great vibe, flirted innocently… but he never asked her on a date. Not even when a co-worker told him that she was into him. One day this woman popped up with a boyfriend, later on she moved in with said boyfriend. Finally, one night after work, Guy 1 sat in her car and confessed that he was in love. She politely informed him that she was in love too…with her new man. The guy took it hard and stopped speaking to her at work all together.

Guy 2: Dated this woman for several months, and by date I mean watched TV and fucked. The woman asked me for advice on how to get out of this situationship. I advised her to communicate her wants (in a very Spartan way). She did. This guy broke down in tears and revealed that he had been cheated on by his last two girlfriends and he wasn’t ready for anything serious. She walked away because being come over and chill pussy wasn’t her goal. Guy 2 came back two years later saying he was ready. She sent him back a screenshot of her engagement ring and the letters “FOH”.

Guy 3: Was a friend of mine who entered a relationship with a woman who was a pretty big deal in the entertainment industry. Not only did they have tons of things in common, she motivated him to get his career to the next level and even hooked him up with some connections that paid off. Not even a year into the relationship he cheated. She broke up with him. He ran back to his ex-girlfriend, a ratchet from the hood who was unemployed, didn’t care what he did with his life so long as she got to lay under him. To this day he tells me the first woman was trying to change who he was, this other girl just let’s him do him.

What the fuck is wrong with today’s men? All the big talk on social media, all the stories about how they’re not afraid of anything, it’s all CAP. I’ve noticed this shift in men becoming soft and women becoming hard years ago and I wrote She Ain’t It in order to help them as best I could. Still, most men aren’t going to read and learn, instead they’ll keep being defensive, keep being afraid, and keeping blowing their shots at love. Ladies, you may think men don’t care, are these emotionally unavailable creatures, and because they’re cut to you or have money they can get hoes. Allow me to open up the reality jar. In the years I’ve been doing this site, I’ve come across athletes, musicians, police officers, even a CEO of teach company you all know, and these men, just like the every day Joes, push women away or refuse to put themselves out there because of fear. Today I’m going to go over a few different aspects of Male Fear. If you’re a guy reading this, read until the end. If you’re a woman, SHARE this shit, because these guys need to be held accountable in order to better their lives.

The Rise of The Simp (The Problem With Today’s Men)

Some men are used to rejection, some men have steel nerves, and some men know that a few bad relationships isn’t a reason to shut down. To those fellas, I applaud you for being strong. What I can’t respect is the: I’m too short… all these women are hoes… they don’t really like me for me… self-doubters. A lot of women listen to guys talk or read what guys say online and think “Oh, so that’s what men want, let me act like that so I can get one.” That pick me shit is normal in the minds of insecure women, but it’s also become the new normal for males. I’m not talking about the toxic masculinity of “be tough don’t show feelings”. I’m talking about the confidence that comes with being born a male… This is a patriarchal world, male supremacy is real, yet you wouldn’t know it because today’s men are overly sensitive.

The Hate: That fine ass girl on IG wrote a caption about how you have to be paid to date her, so you clap back that she’s a piece of shit and secretly pray for her downfall… yet you still follow her.

The Sadness: Some girl tweeted that she needs a tall man with a beard. You don’t have that so it sticks in your head, and the next time you see a girl you could talk to, you think twice because what if that real life woman feels the same way as that random chick on twitter.  

The Real: No man should give a fuck about being a girl’s type, meeting her imaginary list of Must-Haves, or if she was aiming for another dude when she walked in the room. The proof is in the results, and regardless of if she wouldn’t have chosen you first, you ended up with her. That’s called victory. Men chose, women settle. That’s not always negative because 75% of the time women don’t make a first move and don’t really know what they’re looking for beyond a fantasy concept of “Jason Mamoa type with good credit but with a bad boy edge that will put me in my place“. Ladies, how many guys have surprised you and grew into your type? How many guys who were your type but missed out because they didn’t shoot their shot? Women are diverse in their attractions. Social media shit talking should never be taken at face value, the woman who wouldn’t follow you back online will often give you her number in real life. The problem is we live in that bubble where the internet is the reality that men and women bend to.  Seeing women sell themselves short because they have no self-esteem irritates me, but it also irks me that these young dudes are struggling to be men because they feel as if they aren’t good enough according to internet or Reality TV standards. Jealousy is the 2nd weakest emotion behind fear, and I think it’s time that I put you young brothers back on the, “I can have any woman I want” track because how can a Spartan Queen ever find a King in a world full of pussy ass men.

Mr. Fear of Commitment

Women see potential in a man from day one, it’s not a delusion, it’s an intuition. A guy who has a kind heart, wise, smart in an out of the box kind of way, and who is filled with original ideas glows when she’s dating because the average woman has wasted enough time with other men who don’t have those intangibles or skills. The problem becomes that once a man and woman date for a long period of time or enter an actual relationship and she realizes that his potential isn’t being lived up to. So what does she do? She tries to guide him, motivate him, or point out what he could be doing to fully realize this potential. Why? One part is that if she can make him the best version of himself, she benefits from having a fully realized partner, not a “fixer upper” boyfriend like most women have. The other part is selfless, she genuinely wants him to do well in life. What happens when a man doesn’t want to live up to his potential or ignores you because he wants to do things his own way? You two argue and eventually stop talking. 

Males are notoriously stubborn. As men we think we know everything and how to do everything. Right now there’s a guy trying to tell you how to run a business but he doesn’t even have 10k in his bank account. Right now there’s a man telling you he knows how to promote a brand better than you, but he doesn’t have any clients. Right now there is a man who has been working at the same miserable job who will catch an attitude if you suggest a way to move on to something new. Men don’t want women telling them what to do because most of them think women aren’t as smart, are too emotional, or only want to change them to be like another man she also knows. When a guy drags his feet, be it to get into a relationship, to go from being engaged to married, or any purgatory stage, it’s not because of lack of love for you, it’s due to fear. The fear that you will put the pressure of his own potential on him which he can never fully live up to in the way you imagine.

Women are planners, most of you ladies have lists, vision boards, weekly, monthly, even multi-year goals. When you put a man into your plans and assume that he is going to be making a certain amount, that he is going to see his own goals through, and that by a specific year you’ll be this perfect power couple, he pushes you away. It’s not that he doesn’t see your vision, it’s that your vision is too tightly laid out. You begin feeling like his mother or his boss. You don’t plan for how he’s feeling mentally or the way males commonly switch up directions and try new things on. It’s not that he doesn’t want to commit to you as a romantic partner, he doesn’t want to commit to you as this smothering dictator who will be on his back if he doesn’t hit goals on time or stick to the plan. These men would rather sabotage a relationship with you, go find a basic woman, and figure his life out at his own pace. Meanwhile, you’re back crying thinking about how it could have been so great if only he saw in himself what you saw in him. Besides every great man isn’t always a great woman, sometimes it’s the most basic of bitches. Nevertheless, the road for any man will always benefit from having a woman that’s an equal not a liability.

Fellas, you don’t need a woman to mother you or plan out your future, but at the same time you can’t be afraid to collaborate, put your minds together, and work towards something that can benefit you. If you’re currently dealing with someone, ask yourself one simple question “does she better me”. I’m not asking if she fucks you good, cooks for you, listens to you spew your bullshit opinions, or if she’s loyal. Does she challenge you to be the best version of yourself? If the answer is “kinda” then she’s not the one. If the answer is “always” then why are you dragging your feet? She will change you, but change is good. She will hold you accountable, but accountability is mandatory. She will expect the most from you to the point where it annoys you, but isn’t that what you need?

Mr. Not Good Enough

Everywhere I go women tell me, “Boys act worse than girls these days,” and they are right. This is a nation of simps that get in their feelings anytime a girl shows other men attention, be they rappers, athletes, or even regular dudes that posses what they don’t have. Remember back when that mugshot of felon Jeremy Meeks went viral? Dudes were hurt! They said all kinds of ignorant things about “you pass up the good guys for the criminals” or “this is why you hoes single mothers, you choose guys that either end up in jail, dead, or hooked on drugs”. That anger had nothing to do with Meeks being a criminal; it was about women showing attention to another man who had traits they didn’t possess. Female Validation makes men lash out at women and other men, it makes men want to fight, and even rape because they hate not being in control, not being wanted, or not being seeing as special. 

Go online right now and I bet you’ll find a dude hating under a picture of a pretty girl, talking about her makeup or insinuating her body is fake. Go check out a post where a man tries to uplift a woman and the bitter simps are there to accuse the man of pandering for pussy. Let a woman tweet her opinion on something in terms of males, and you’ll see these clowns mob up, not to take shots at her words but to downgrade her looks, because how dare she have an opinion and not look like Beyonce. The question is why do men today CARE about empowering post, women wearing makeup, women wearing wigs on their timelines, and other males who get more pussy than they do? These types of men act catty as if they are the victim because their future is at stake. Imagine if all those women were shallow, if only Alpha males got ass, and if women were empowered across the board. They would be left single and lonely for life. Bitter males live to chop strong women down to size, to shame women into being Pick Mes, and to throw salt on rival males because that’s how they get chose in the end. Ladies think about those guys you dated who played the victim, talked about conspiracies 24-7, were jealous about who you talked to or followed online, and would take shots at the way you dressed. They did this for a reason. Lesser men survive because soft women see potential in them to be great. If the bar were to become “Get your shit together” rather than, “You had a hard life, I’ll help you” then that would eliminate half of these simps from ever getting girlfriends. Weak men guilt strong women into lowering standards, and it’s time for this shit to stop.

Male-supremacy brainwashing that blames hoe culture for the downfall of “The Nice Guys”. The thing is, are you really a nice guy or are you bitter? Are you really made at women for not wanting to split the bills, or are you made at yourself for not being able to not split a bill? Do you really think that guy is gay or are you intimidated by his looks? Do you really think that girl is a hoe, or does she remind you of a someone you wish you could have? Look around you. The men who have been rejected, who have been cheated on, and who can only feast on low hanging fruit, those are the ones on your timeline right now fighting to keep women in their place. The ones that can’t get women’s attention in real life, those are the ones that call out flaws when a woman is getting too much love online. It’s not about preference or opinion, it’s an anger built on frustration. What plus sized woman broke your heart? What darker skinned woman rejected you to the point where you have to take shot at complexions? What India Love looking chick refused to answer your DM? What popular girl chose your friend over you and made you hate so hard?

Confidence Building 101

Many cats are growing up without fathers, without big brothers, and they’re so soft that they don’t know how to react to lack of attention or rejection. I’m from a generation where it was cool for a girl to say “no,” because you just go after the next one until you get a yes. Real G’s don’t take it personal, they don’t sulk, they don’t slander women, and they don’t try to force the issue. These new cats should be out getting pussy or trying to find an ambitious girl they can build with… instead, they’re on the internet crying, criticizing makeup, dropping memes, and all these petty stuff that shows the world that men are becoming pussy.

Height Doesn’t Really Matter

I like when women praise tall dudes, just off the strength of being tall, it’s revenge for all the dudes that gas girls whose only positive is a big ass. Girls don’t want to hear about some Buttaface being bae because of a donky ass, and dudes don’t want to hear about some 6’4” dude who can’t even hoop being put on a pedestal. Now that we’re all even, let’s be honest. Some girls thirst for height, but it’s not a deal breaker in the way social media makes it out to be. It’s a want not a need. The only thing girls break quicker than their height requirement is their no carb diet. Ignore. That. Shit! If you look good, talk right, and act better, you will Kevin Hart that pussy, and that same Bird that was like, “I need Kobe tall,” changes her tune to, “Girl, tall niggas ain’t even all that, I need that dick thrown from a low center of gravity.” It’s all bullshit; people don’t know what they are truly attracted to until they are put to the test. Worry about being the best in the world at what you do. Perfect your game, your approach, and go get what you came for, because you never know what you’ll land when you try.

Women Upgrade Looks Based On Affection

I read some OK Cupid poll that said that women ONLY find 80% of men unattractive. I can buy that because all dudes are funny looking, who besides Prince has been default pretty? Men are rugged, weird looking, they have facial blemishes they don’t care about hiding, they put on weight and don’t care, and most don’t even dress for their body types. So why do women still go for them? Because females aren’t as shallow as we think! Ask a woman what her face would look like. Now try to go find a man that has that face—you may find 3-5 people in this world who meets her standard. So why is the human race still reproducing in record numbers? Because women settle! Statistics don’t take into account what a girl wants versus what she will take.

The appearance bar is high, but females don’t mind lowering it if a man has other attributes that make her warm inside. I know a girl who got married to this Vince Herbert looking dude, and I told her he was a real cool guy and I see why she married him. Her insecurity wouldn’t let her take the personality compliment; she felt a need to say, “I like big teddy bears, that’s always been my type.” I could have said, bitch you used to suck my homie’s dick cus you said he looked like Omarion, don’t front, but I didn’t. Some women will make their current mate match up with what their type is after the fact, it’s nothing more than revisionist upgrading to make it seem as if she didn’t settle. The moment you win the affection of a woman, your wide ears, your hook nose, your misshapen head, or any funny looking feature grows on her, and you become better looking than the first time she laid eyes on you. I wrote about men experiencing the same “personality makes her prettier” transformation in Solving Single. This is not fake, it’s not being delusional, it’s human nature to see past the flaws of those you like and focus on their strong points.

Most of the guys reading this have been rejected online. You try to DM a chick who doesn’t write back, you Tinder bad chicks, and never get swiped back. I’m sure that makes you feel a certain way, but you have to look beyond the internet. I said it before, and I’ll keep saying it, women are much pickier online than in public due to the sheer number of thirst buckets responding to their best picture. Out in public those same “I woke up like this” girls may still be pretty, but the majority won’t garner the same attention as their online profile. Fuck inboxing, walk up and talk to a girl, make her laugh, get her number, and take her out. That same girl online would have ignored your advances, but in real life she’s not being bombarded with dick, so you got a shot. Of course, there will always be top shelf girls who are picky and should be meticulous because they can do better than your ass, but the other 90% will entertain you even if it’s due to boredom. Once you get a foot in, you can use your swag to kick the door open. A month later, she’s the one calling you because the time you’ve spent has made you appear more appealing than she initially thought you were.

Broke Men Still Get Pussy

We are living in the golden age of female independence. Those women that are 25-35 have come of age in a world where the nuclear family has crumbled. The father that was supposed to take care of the mother, either wasn’t around or didn’t have a pot to piss in. Those women that grew up with absentee dads knew that the only way to get the things they wanted was to work for it. Modern American women are the hardest working creatures on the planet, because they don’t expect to be taken care of by men the same way women who grew up in the 50’s did. That’s a positive thing, but being hardworking and educated doesn’t equate to being smarter than Dick. Dick may not have Bachelors from a University but he has a Masters when it comes to manipulating lonely women. I hear, “I never meet men on my financial level,” all the time because women who make good money, tend to still be attracted to men that remind them of guys from the old neighborhood. The sad thing is that those local dudes didn’t go out and conquer the world, they’re broke, living paycheck to paycheck, or underemployed. Their hustle is to hook up with a girl who doesn’t mind helping him out, and pull himself up by using her as an investor. Women complain about this after they get played, but when your type is “cute but hood” and you’re turned off by “squares with money” then you will always end up dating struggle dick.

It’s not that there aren’t quality men out here, it’s that most women are in a comfort zone of dating the same types. There are countless women that admit that they will never have a man with money, but they are okay with that because they have the mentality that “I can earn money, all I need is his love and support.” Think about that, women have become the men in relationships in the sense of bread winning, because women don’t believe they can find a man with equal finances who will love them in today’s world. These Fixer-Upper men, need her, so he will love her, and that’s what she settles for, dependency not partnership and standards.

“Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry…” – Gloria Steinem

A lot is made of the Hoes that are out here winning, but financially independent women could pull the same type of paid men as the gold diggers pull, in a non-user way if they tried. There are more men with wealth today than in any other time in history! However, females with their own shit often feel guilty about being shallow, as if they are going to get a gold star for ignoring the guy in the Benz and choosing the guy with the Bus pass. Lowering standards sucks for women, but it puts men who are struggling on equal footing with men who have money. As a man growing up in today’s world you may feel like a loser because you aren’t making a lot of money per hour, you never finished college, or some imaginary white Free Mason is holding you back. To see Fabolous step out in the all-white Rolls Royce or listen to Drake rap about living in a house so big he has to use a walkie-talkie just to get a beverage, will make you feel like you lost at life. I’m not going to get into a “nigga do better” sermon about money, but let’s assume you don’t even have 2k in the bank and are out of work or living paycheck to paycheck. You can still have the girl of your dreams. Money should never be the reason you don’t ask for a number or why you break up with a girl you love. So many women are heartbroken because men ghost them, not because they were bad girlfriends, but because the male is ashamed of his financial situation. Being a man means that you should be able to look out for those you love, but choosing that pride over a good woman won’t improve your fortunes.

What’s the reason men give for not wanting to date outside of Netflix nights or make a girl he really likes his girlfriend? Money! You don’t have enough money to date that woman you want or to get into the type of relationship she deserves. That’s a weak ass excuse. If you have $40 for a used X-Box game, then you aren’t so poor that you can’t date seriously. There are way more ladies than hoes walking this earth, and they will not hold a cheap date against you. The thing you guys need to focus on is the effort. Give a woman your time, energy, and attention and they will appreciate that much more than a $200 dinner. Stop being ashamed of your finances when you’re on your way up in life. Women will understand your situation so long as it is legit and you communicate it, instead of trying to front like you’re paid then lying to her the night of the date. You know you can’t afford that meal for two plus tip, so why even pick that restaurant? You know you won’t have money until Friday so why are you trying to make plans on Thursday, then hitting her with “oh, can we just kick it at my place instead?” That’s fraud shit! Financial insecurity goes back to over analyzing what women talk about and not paying attention to how they really live. A girl can sit and talk about how she needs five star everything and a man that drives a foreign whip no more than two years old, but I’m here to tell you that most of these sisters out here are far from shallow. Instagram “models” may seem unattainable, but they aren’t. I repeat, women tend to date the same kind of men they grew up liking, so even if you don’t have much money, she will still be open to dating you so long as you treat her with respect. Value isn’t about the dollar signs, it’s about showing her that you’re trying your best within your means to prove that she’s someone you want to know on a deeper level than just sex.

She Ain’t It By G.L. Lambert “A Must Read”

The counter arguments may be that you don’t have money to date a bunch of women and risk being played for the little you have. As a broke dude, you don’t have to be selective, because even if shorty is a hoe, what’s the most she can get from you, an appetizer from Cheesecake Factory? Stop being so paranoid and stop thinking women are going to look down on you! Those foundation face weave wranglers y’all dudes thirst after as unattainable are merely community pussy that talk a good game in hopes some simp will trick on them. If you can open your mouth and speak clear English, then you have just as good a shot at landing her as any other man walking this earth, no matter what team he plays for or how light his eyes are. I’m not going to lie, I would rather a woman date at the highest level, but I’m a realist and I know that a person’s character isn’t defined by their bank account or car model. Be confident in yourself, no matter what your Wells Fargo reads. Money comes and goes, but your personality is what’s going to keep that woman in love. The next time you’re out, don’t be afraid to talk to the prettiest girl in the room because you live with your mother or you’re in-between jobs. Don’t let your temporary financial situation ruin a shot at real love. Women are understanding, Hoes are underhanded, so the fact that she’s willing to give you a shot knowing your financial situation proves that she’s an honest woman worth sacrificing your last $20 to show a good time. Stop running from Queens because you don’t have the money of a King. If anything those hardworking women can help you, not take care of your broke ass, but help you get where you need to be.

Stop Being Afraid of Pussy

I know a lot of you guys won’t admit this, but you’re afraid of pussy. Not the physical task of thrusting inside a vagina, but the anxiety of talking to a girl that may not like you or falling for one that may game you. These fools say they’re emotionally unavailable, and women buy that shit, some Basicas even get turned on. We both know that you’re not emotionally unavailable, you’re just trying to play off the fact that you’re afraid girls won’t like the real you the longer they get to know you! Men aren’t allowed to talk about being nervous; we have to pretend we don’t get butterflies because we have to behave hard. Men can’t confess that they’re worried about liking a girl too much; we have to pretend as if we only want sex so we won’t get our feelings hurt if she doesn’t want more from us. Men can’t confess that they’re afraid to settle down because they might get cheated on. Men can’t confess that the relationships scare us, and that’s the problem. It’s time to man up and communicate your feelings. Your parents had a bad relationship, confront how that has made you see love. Your exes did you extremely dirty, open up about that pain. Maybe you’re afraid you will cheat again or that you won’t choose the right woman, don’t keep running, get to know the reason behind your fears! You don’t have to keep everything so bottled up. The definition of “manly” is facing that which fears you the most, so be a fucking man!

Read Next: Why Can’t Women Handle Dick?

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Thanks for reading Are Today’s Men Scared of Pussy Part II: Rise of The Simp

Far From BasYc

Audio Guide to help you Spartan Up! Five steps to expose a man that is trying to use you.

The official G.L. Lambert Show premiers 2/17/20…stay tuned.

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Thanks for reading Black Girls Are Easy Podcast: Episode 1 – How To Expose Male Players

Far From BasYc

A guy chased you for years trying to get a date, and you
finally gave in only for him to lose interest a month later…

A guy spent weeks blowing up your phone, taking you out, and
tricking gifts only to randomly become too busy to text back…

A guy who had a WHOLE girlfriend left her just to get a shot
with you, only to ghost you without reason…

Catch and Release it’s what we males do at some point during our lives if not for life. Every woman reading this has had a man on her heels; thirsting, spending, begging, being vulnerable all in an attempt to get your full attention. THEN the moment you start to like this guy more than usual, he switches up. Sometimes it comes after sex, sometimes you don’t even have sex. Regardless if you sleep with him or not, the real damage comes in the form of the confused rejection. Let’s be honest ladies, sometimes these false alarm men are everything you’re looking for physically and personality-wise… but 8 out of 10 times they’re not your type. You adjusted your checklist because of how he pursued you. Coming correct with real effort, is a turn on that quickly turns Mr. So-So into Mr. Sexy AF.

“Make sure a man is more into you than you are into him” is solid advice until you realize that men are experts at turning the table and making you fall hard and fast. The first month he was on you, but by the second month, you’re the one open due to the attention and treatment. That’s the Catch phase. Then, out of nowhere, that same eager man stops calling as much, stops trying to see you, gets busy, and eventually you stop speaking altogether. That’s the Release phase. Why did he do that? What was the point? Keep reading…

I’ve heard all the stories from, “Everything changed after we had sex,” to “I didn’t even fuck him, he still started acting funny” and most recently, “He doesn’t make an effort to see me anymore but still watches all my IG stories…” Rejection is a bitch, especially when you felt like the dominant force in the driver’s seat. He was on your clit, yet he still had the power to take away his attention and hurt your feelings. You say you don’t care, but you do. You claim he didn’t ghost you, but he did. Yeah, he’ll text back some dry bullshit if you hit him first—doesn’t mean he likes your ass. Yeah, he watches your social media stories—but he’s looking at every cute girl’s story, that shit isn’t special. You may even pretend you cut him off, but the reality is if he reached out and wanted to see you, you would be like— “If you want…” You still want to repair things, not because you see him as special, but because rejection invalidates your ego. To feel better, you need to be recognized by the same person who pulled you in and pushed you away. Vent about him, curse his name, go date someone else, it won’t take away the pain, beloved. The very thought of him triggers you because once again a man made you look stupid. He’s off living his best life, and you’re stuck in your feelings, wondering what you said, did, or didn’t do that drove him away. In the end, it’s all a game, and it’s time for you to stop losing.

The Pursuit

Do the romantic actions of men during those first few weeks
or months mean they want you? That depends on how you define “want.” 90% of
straight men would fuck you, yes even you over there who just sucked your
teeth…your low self-esteem having ass could get dick tomorrow if you tried
because guys are easy. Sex or the fetish attraction driven by lust is not the “want”
I’m referring to when discussing pursuit. When I say “want” I’m talking about a
passion to get to know who you are beneath the surface, not beneath your
clothes. I’m pointing to a need to experience the whole of you and ultimately to
tether himself as your man because he can’t imagine another having you. Every male
has romantic passion inside of him. There is no such thing as a man who doesn’t
want or need love. “So why didn’t he want me after I did XYZ” Ah-ha! That’s
the carrot that’s dangling. Just because a man is capable of giving you his
love doesn’t mean he will. In my book Men Don’t Love Women Like You
I outline Game Changer’s versus Placeholders, so I won’t go into that psychology.
Instead I want you to understand what negative pursuit looks like so you can save
yourself the frustration of falling for someone who will eventually run hot
then go cold.

When was the last time you’ve been truly wanted on a deeper level than the physical? Do you even know how to tell the difference between someone truly interested and someone who is chasing you for sport? Each of you has dated or has seen enough of your friends’ date to recognize that pursuit doesn’t equate to genuine interests. Even still, you “give chances” aka “allow yourself to be played” because you have yet to master the ability to poke holes in a person’s character. You want to believe in the bullshit philosophy that if a person is treating you good in the beginning that their intentions are pure. A few dates, daily texts, long phone calls, going on a trip, are nothing but a smokescreen, but you swear it means that a person really likes you because when it comes to romance, ego drowns out wisdom!

A man’s willingness to chase what’s between your legs isn’t the same as craving you on a deeper emotional level. Some men chase to get over exes. Some men chase to boost their own low self-esteem. Some men chase out of power. Some men chase women in relationships because it feels good to beat out another man. Some men chase women who see them as platonic, just because they want to prove they can get out of that friend box. Some guys get your number just text you, never even asking you on a date, because you’re just conversation, not worth taking out. Some men talk to you just to get closer to your friend, that’s who he really wants to hit. And yes, men chase women for pussy more times than not because that’s what we’re hard-wired to want, a nut. I know you’re thinking, “I hate boys, I quit.” Again, I’m not talking about ALL MEN. I’m just preparing you to toughen up, so you see past the ones I’m currently describing.

Why Male Bullshit
Works

Woman Logic: But there are so many other
women he could go after that would be easier… why spend all that time talking
on the phone… why spend money on dates… why tell me all these deep things… why
chase me if it was just a hallow act of boredom, lust, or competition?

Men don’t need a cosmic reason to go after you other than an impulse. The game goes CHASE, CATCH, RELEASE until we run into a Game Changer that makes us want to hold onto the catch stage longer than normal or even forever. Some men like the idea of a woman, but once they get hold of her, that reality can fail to create that same spark as that imagined fantasy, so they fall back, get busy, or simply pop up with something new so you get the hint. I know… it’s a cold fucked up world. Even making it this simple, you’re probably still confused. If a guy just wants to have sex, why doesn’t he say it? If he still wants to shop around why treat you like a girlfriend? Think of males like career criminals, some mature and reform their ways and are totally honest when pursuing women. The other half, all they know is how to run game, even when it would be easier to be honest. I call these guys The Typical Males…

Typical Male Actions: Chase for sex but act and talk as if they want more. Ruin a platonic or work friendship by saying they want to take it deeper but in actuality they just want to hit. Have a friends with benefits situation but manipulates the woman into not talking to other men, but make sure he’s free to still fuck other women. Has a girlfriend and wants new pussy for diversity sake, but claims they’re unhappy in their relationship so the woman feels less guilty about allowing him to cheat with her.

As a woman you’re not wired to play this kind of cat and mouse game. You’re looking for something real and assume someone who puts in that initial effort is also looking for something substantial. “This is why men need to change their ways! GL, teach these boys to be men!” that’s not going to happen, princess, this behavior works too well. The only change is when women stop falling for it. The question is, why do YOU assume pursuit is genuine when you’ve seen how the story goes? How do smart women consistently allow their hearts to override their common sense? Is it hope? Is it optimism? No. It’s ego.  

Riddle me this: are you naïve to how men operate or do
truly believe the men who chase after you are exceptions to this rule? Women
live for attention. I’m not talking about the telling everyone it’s your birthday
month, brand of basic attention. The ego that men exploit is that want to be
wanted, praised, and proven special. Think about the world you live in with
social media, affordable plastic surgery, and the bombardment of women who
either look better than you look or have more than what you have. No matter who
you are, you can go through that discovery page on IG and see a chick that
seemingly outshines you in your own opinion. To have someone on your heels
as if you’re a celebrity, to tell you how better you are than other women, to
risk their relationship, or wait on the sideline waiting for you to give them a
shot is empowering. In the moment where men kiss your ass, blow up your
phone, or spend money on you, you feel like a goddess. That’s how a Kardashian feels,
that’s how Beyoncé feels, that’s not just romantic love, it’s groupie love that
proves that no matter how many likes those chicks on IG get, you’re just as amazing.

The catch is, you’re not being chased daily, at least not by
men you would consider dating. That validation that you can ONLY get from male
attention doesn’t occur that often, leaving you lost at times. You don’t need a
man, but it’s nice to have one to talk to… you don’t want a relationship, but
it feels good to go out and be treated like you’re the only woman in the world.
New men who pursue you know that you have this insecure crack in your armor,
and they slip through with consistent effort. Exes or guys, you cut off run
back and play to your ego as well, and you allow them to remain in your life
because you LOVE male attention. Own up to your insecurities and stop
pretending you don’t long for affection because faking like you’re a savage isn’t
going to protect your heart. The 21st century is a very shallow
place. Depression and Anxiety are more common than ever, and positive
reinforcement that you are good enough is hard to find if you don’t have
self-confidence. You’ve been waiting to be chased, waiting to play hard to get,
waiting for a man to put in effort and passionately claim you. That masculine energy
of showing you that you’re wanted not only makes you moist it blinds you to the
fact that it may be fool’s gold. With your eyes now open. Here are the top
things to look for to guard against this onslaught.

Guarding Against
The Pursuit

The Blitz Test: He meets you, he’s smitten, he gets your number. That’s how most of you will start this journey. It doesn’t matter how you meet him online or off. What you need to look out for his that initial hurry to win you over. A man being excited and in a rush to text you, call you, or take you out isn’t a negative. You want engagement, not someone who is trying to play it way too cool like you’re some average bitch. However, you can’t let a man consume all your time out of the gate. Marathon phone calls—bonds you fast. Multiple dates in one week—bonds you fast. Taking you out of town during the first month—bonds you fast. The more a guy talks to you the more comfortable you get. Lowering a woman’s guard can be difficult because of the nature of the fuck boy dating pools that have hardened most females. From an early age, men learn that getting a woman to open her legs is often easier than getting her to open up about who she is and all the things she’s survived. The workaround to soften even the toughest woman is to blitz her.

By smothering a woman by wanting to see her and talk to her every day during the first 1-4 weeks a man succeeds in earning her trust. It sounds silly, but it’s beyond common. The routine of talking to him becomes comforting. The conversation is fun because everything you reveal or that he reveals is exciting and new. The second level conversations where you have inside jokes or where he just shuts up and listens to your problems, it puts you at ease. If he’s taking you out on date after date, it’s like a fairytale; you finally have something to do and can brag to your friends about all the places you’re going. In terms of rival men, your ex, situationship bae, or even that crush you’ve been waiting to make a move on, they all get pushed to the side because he’s overcharging you with male energy to the point where you don’t have time to think about outside dick.

He’s not your boyfriend, you won’t even have sex at this point, but by blitzing you with attention and consistent healthy treatment you will over like him in short time. There are stories of people who met, were inseparable, and jumped into a relationship so you may think it’s good that a man is blitzing you, it’s evidence that he thinks you’re special. You’re not worried about how much time you’re spending with him because this is what “love” is supposed to feel like…then he stops seeing you as much, and you’re now searching his social media for clues only to find out he’s now blitzing a new woman.

Guarding Against The Blitz: Never give any ONE man more than 20% of your time during the courting stage. He can call you and text you, but don’t talk to him every night and don’t text him throughout the day. His job is to take you out and date you so you can see how much he values you. With that as a goal, that first 1-2 weeks of conversation should consist of seeing if he’s good enough/safe enough to take you out and then planning that date. You text to chit chat. You jump on the phone to find out the basics if you don’t already know them, such as his job status, his family history, and to poke for red flags from past relationships. Once you set the date, there’s not much to keep talking about until AFTER that first date.

On that first date is where you do all the vetting that I’ve covered on this site and in my books. If he tries to see you again that next day, decline. If he tries to take you on a date again in two more days or wants you to meet up with his friends at some bar, decline. If he calls you after work and wants to talk, have a conversation about things you forgot to talk about on that date, but keep it short. Do not spend the next four nights after your first date talking for hours and having phone sex. Dirty talk turns into wanting to see you, and you’re just as horny, so you want to see him. Even though you may not go over to his place and have sex, you now get into the habit of house chilling. That’s how the blitz works lady, men pour all that attention on you until you loosen up the standards, and now because you had marathon phone sessions, went out a few times in one week, and let him kiss below the neck, you’re open. Two weeks ago, he was a stranger who you didn’t even think was all that cute, now you’re getting fingered to Disney+.

Learn to lie about things you have to do the next day. Learn
to make excuses for why you can’t randomly see him after work. Learn to say, “how
about Friday, instead.” 20% of your time means that even if you’re bored
and lonely you must maintain the image of a busy life. If he sees you’re a do-nothing
chick or all you have outside of work are reality shows and social media
scrolling, he’s going to run over you. At the same time, men need to be humbled
while in pursuit, even the good ones. My now-wife told me “no” several times
and did not pick up the phone every time I called. Slowing down the process
keeps a man honest, and it keeps you from getting caught up in the wave of that
new exciting energy of male affection. Again, you may not like lying or faking
busy, but it’s better to play hard to get than to get played.

The Spoil Test: One of my favorite internet jokes is “It’s always ‘how was your day’ never here let me pay your rent’ boys are so ghetto” One of my favorite Ho Tactics stories was “G.L. I did what was in the book and why did this guy give me money for my rent before we even went on a date.” For every joke about men spending money, there are actual guys who don’t mind tricking because they have it. The world we live in is filled with tricks, treats, and sponsors. Some of you will meet these kinds of men for the very first time, and it will blow your mind because you will assume the spending of money means he’s invested in a future with you. Money isn’t everything blah blah blah, but have you ever just gotten $500 just because it was a Tuesday and he was thinking about you? No matter what you can do for yourself, money mixed with consistent male attention is extremely seductive.

The most common version of Spoiling pursuit that I’m emailed isn’t so much money being given, but the kind of dates a man pampers a new woman with. Five-star restaurants, tickets to a concert, treating your friends, and being offended if any of them try to pay, one guy took my friend on a Helicopter ride the first date, just to remind her who the fuck he was. Most men ball out the first date. What the Spoiler does is keep up that effort and show you that this isn’t a front to fuck you fast, it’s how he rolls. Unlike typical males these kinds of pursuers are rarely in a rush to push for sex. A lot of women I advise are confused as to why a man is spending without trying to hustle them back to their room. The sex isn’t the payoff, the payoff is blowing your mind, keeping that smile on your face, and then going in for the kill when he feels he’s played the “Daddy” role long enough. It’s a male ego trip that you don’t know is at play because in your mind you’re counting all the money he’s spent just to get to know you and assume you have him sprung. Wrong!

Laying up with a cute guy and cuddling is nice, but it doesn’t
stroke the ego like riding in his luxury car, being giving gifts just because,
showing off to your friends, and being surprised each week with what he has
planned for you next. It’s easy to get caught up in this world he’s creating
for you, but there is something deeper than materialism at play. Spoiling
activates the “security” programing that all women have. That program
dictates: I can do things on my own, but it would be so good if I had
someone like this to partner up with me. Women unconsciously look for
providers, it’s how the entire human race has survived. The result is in a
month or two he wins you over, and then the wheels come off. Maybe he has sex,
and the lust dissipates, or maybe he finds a new version of you to spoil. Either
way you’re left emotionally distraught because you didn’t lose some guy; you
lost a fucking Unicorn. Now it’s back to dating broke boys or stingy guys who expect
you to go Dutch. “How do I get him back, GL” is what I hear all the time
when it comes to dating these spoilers, but the truth is, you never had him in
the first place, he was just buying an experience.

The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself

Guarding Against The Spoil Test: Act like you’ve been treated to nice shit before even if you haven’t! Narcissists and egomaniacs get off on blowing your mind with treatment, but they’re waiting to pull the rug from under you and “send you back to the streets.” Control freaks use money to gain your loyalty, then dangle it over your head once you become dependent. I have stories about how to turn the tables and milk them dry, but this isn’t about Ho Tactics, this is about guarding your heart. When you come up against this kind of man, you must use reverse psychology. By the third fancy place, suggest something more low key or more your speed. Never turn down a gift, but return the favor by giving them a return present the next time. For every aspect of trying to overdo it, you need to fire back the favor. Not only does this show him that you don’t need his money, it proves that you bring something to the table. If he was only looking for a toy, then this reaction won’t sit well with him, and you’ll expose his darker nature. If he saw you as just another bird who would follow the crumbs, this will make him rethink his perception of your personality. Most importantly if he starts to put pressure on you for sex and brings up what he’s done for you, then that’s a crimson red flag that he’s not invested on a real level.

The Push & Pull Test: This form of pursuit is one
most of you know well. You meet a guy, he seems interested in you, but before
you get traction it crumbles, only for him to come sniffing back around. I’ve
gone over this many times, at the relationship level, but it’s just as
effective in the early dating phase. You meet a guy, you vibe, then the monkey
wrench comes: You get in an argument over something dumb, and he stops
responding to you. He has poor communication skills, and you get sick of going back
and forth with him and cut him off. He makes plans only to cancel them and not
reschedule.

The psychology behind The Push & Pull hits at the nerve
of your insecurity—Am I worthy of love? If a man thinks you’re too confident
and wants to knock you down a peg so he can reign over you, all he has to do is
take away his attention. This humbles you so that when he comes back with “I
miss you,” your attitude has been adjusted to his liking. If a man wants you on
his roster but also wants the freedom to keep going after other women, The Push
& Pull could be as simple as allowing you to find out that he talks to
other women, then cursing you out about being in his business. He lets you marinate
in this rage/sadness for a week or so, then he comes back with sweet words that
you’re the only one for him. He’s still dealing with other bitches, but because
you just got reprimanded, you’re not going to rock the boat again. The main
thing to remember is that the Push & Pull is a mindfuck, it’s gaslighting
at the most basic level that relies on using guilt and rejection to make you
bend your personality to his will. The scary part about this version of
pursuing you is that it won’t stop after sex, so long as you prove to be an obedient
sucker he’ll always pull you in when he needs something, push you away when you
start to resist his bullshit and then pull you back in when he knows you’re
once again vulnerable.

Guarding Against The Push & Pull: Don’t react to
the mind fucks! It really is as simple as being quick to cut someone off, no
matter how much you like them. The moment a man blows you off or ghost you ask
yourself if it was warranted. 9 out of 10 times it won’t be. Maybe you have a
smart mouth, and he was reacting off something you did or said. Explore that don’t
allow him to gaslight you into believing that’s exactly what happened. Many of you
have this paralyzing fear that you will miss out on “The One” and be single
forever. You have flaws, you’re no saint, and when a man cuts you off or ghosts
you because of something he claims you did that anxiety whispers “yup, that’s
what I do, and this is why I’ll always be alone.” Bullshit. Again, explore
what led to him pushing you away, and if it doesn’t line up as understandable,
block and delete him because he’s trying to sink his hooks in with an imaginary
beef. In terms of ghosting with no explanation, stop letting men come back into
your life without explaining their actions. If he can’t communicate where he
was for the past week or weeks, then why are you giving him a second chance? If
he gives you some asinine answer like “I had family troubles” or blames it on
work and being busy, then keep the gate up and tell him you’re good.

I know its easier said than done, ladies. I know it’s hard to find a man whose looks and actions match what you’ve been praying for, so you impulsively give him the benefit of the doubt. His potential is why you unblock him. His smooth words or heartfelt texts are chicken soup for your insecure soul, so you agree to see him again. You can be a bit crazy, so you justify his toxic actions towards you. You forgive only to see your feelings hurt all over again. If your love life were playing out in a movie, you would be yelling at the screen, but it’s not. You live life in a bubble of confusion wishing you just knew what to do or say to make the good times last and to keep him liking you. The want to be loved has you looking like a fool, and you can’t even see it. Guarding against mind fucks aren’t hard if you don’t have a mind that can be fucked with. Secure your mental!

The next time a man rejects you in this way, I want you to
go in the bathroom, look in the mirror and repeat: “The man that’s for me
would never treat me this way.” Be high maintenance, be quick to
dismiss, and don’t worry about if you were in the wrong. No, you’re not perfect,
and you’re not always right, but a man who sees potential in you would rather talk
about your faults than push you away. Real men try to heal and uplift, they don’t
suck their teeth and ignore your texts. The fact that any man would run away
over something that could be discussed maturely only to come back trying to
exploit you proves that he’s not emotionally worthy of being in your life.

You Should Be Earned

Vet. Question. Test. Vet = spend time getting to know him and check for consistencies in his persona. Question = ask the things you want to know and stop assuming based on second hand information you researched online or that someone told you. Test = go out into the real world and see how his mood changes, be unavailable to see how he reacts, and always keep track of if his actions continue to match his words!

For a step by step blueprint click HERE for The Spartan Dating Script

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Thanks for reading Chasing You Doesn’t Mean He’s Interested: Guarding Against Users

Far From BasYc

Who hurt you and why can’t you let it go? Your childhood wasn’t ideal, how much pity do you need to move forward from that? Your first time loving someone ended with betrayal, how much anger and regret needs to build up before you get over it? No one appreciates what you do for them, how many times do you need to keep pointing that out before you stop being unselfish? 9 out of 10 people are never going to change they’re just going to complain. Hurt feels like armor at first, it keeps you safe, but it’s actually a cage that stunts you emotionally and poisons every choice you make. You love being petty, you love bringing up the past, you love having an attitude, you get off on reminding people about all you do for them, and you really love shifting blame onto someone else.

Your safe place is reminding people that nothing is your fault because being a victim feels better than the admission that you have no idea of how to change your results for the better. You didn’t choose your parents that hurt you or let you down. You didn’t choose the city where you were born. But as an adult you now get to choose. You choose who to date. Who to keep dating. What job to pursue and take. Most importantly you choose to ignore your personality flaws that lead you to making mistake after mistake. It’s time to stop the cycle. You can’t drink away the hurt, smoke away the hurt, fuck away the hurt, sleep all day, or wait for someone to save you from your own thoughts. It’s on you! You’re destined to do better than what you’re doing right now. But you have to CHOOSE to read this entire article with an open mind, not that same old defensive attitude and watch how quickly your life changes. Are you ready or are you going to run away from these words?

EXPLORING YOUR DAMAGE

Let’s define what it means to be damaged. I’m referring to those that have been traumatized by people or events, and instead of seeking to come to grips with those things, they continue as if nothing is wrong. Ignorantly allowing those wounds to fester, spread, and turn them into a shell of their former self. All of this happens in silence, it’s a form of depression that works under the surface then roars its ugly head the moment they try to connect, trust, or love someone new. You don’t want someone to turn back around and hurt you after you’ve already explained your pain, so you settle into this little bubble where you remain guarded and miserable. I guarantee that more than half the people reading this pretend they’re not bothered in public then cry into their pillow in private. It’s time to talk about these mental issues instead of faking like everyone is so tough well put together.

Let’s do a checklist: You complain about shit from the past that you can’t change. You distract yourself with whatever dumb ass news story that’s dominating social media. You self-medicate with shopping, drugs, or drink. You claim to be over everything and everybody…but that doesn’t stop you from letting the same types of people that hurt you before right back into your life to hurt you again. One day you’re blessed and highly favored, the next day you’re crying about how things will never work out for you. Now be honest. You’re not random, you’re depressed and have no idea of how to shake those hot and cold moments.

Life forges you like fucking steel, not so you can be hard and cold, but so you can cut through the bullshit. Yet, life’s lessons are lost on you as you recycle exes, fall in love with obvious liars, let shady family and friends continue to manipulate you, and point the finger outward instead of dusting your weak ass off and taking a stand! This universe is built to help those that help themselves and the first rule of ascending is don’t expect another human to play fair. The reason why I’m so loud has nothing to do with me and everything to do with you all. To see an intelligent woman make a dumb decision over a dick that isn’t even hers is a waste. To see a stand-up guy turn towards misogynistic views because he can’t deal with a woman’s rejection is a waste. All of you have the potential to be happy and to rise above your past, but you keep slipping back into the bullshit because you’re afraid to truly work on yourself.

Just because you’re damaged doesn’t mean you’re broken. If you’re single it feels hopeless when you realize that for anyone to love you they will have to learn you, and when your past is filled with mistakes you wonder who would want that. If you’re in a relationship that’s struggling it feels as if the only option is to put up with it because who else would accept you in your current state except the devil you know. Stop feeding into negativity and regain faith in yourself. There is nothing wrong with you that can’t be fixed over time and no trauma that can’t be healed with self-love. Life may not have given you the results you were expecting, but that doesn’t mean your story can’t change overnight. Don’t say “I deserve better” mean that shit! 

If you lie to yourself long enough, being comfortable starts to feel the same as being happy—but it’s not real. Do you truly love yourself or are you just stuck in a body living a life that you can’t change so you make do? Laugh at celebrities because that makes you forget about your own flaws. Get enraged about politics because that helps you channel your own self-hatred somewhere else. Plop your ass in front of a screen and watch a TV show, because watching fiction helps you numb your facts. Here’s an idea… Instead of avoiding all your issues let’s lift that rug where you’ve hidden all the things you’re ashamed of, and start to glue your life back together. Today I want to talk about rebuilding because if you can’t build with yourself how can you ever convince another person to build with you?

Addicted to The Same Type

“Why are men always lying about dumb shit?” Um, why do you continue to talk to men that consistently lie in the first place? I notice a pattern with women (don’t worry we’ll get to the men below) when they complain about Fuck Boys, they talk around the real problem. A girl would rather question why a man acts the way he acts then question why she’s attracted to a man that consistently acts in that fucked up manner. If I own a cat that scratches at me every time I go to pet it, I’m getting rid of the fucking cat, not psychoanalyzing why it’s being an asshole. Damaged women are attracted to flawed men as if being emotionally unavailable is Maca Root. The core of this attraction, from the people I’ve studied, is that a woman feels that if she works hard to understand why a man treats her like shit, he’ll repay that compassion by doing the same investigation into her issues. Let’s keep it real, you wish you had someone who was brave enough to sit you down and ask why you’re hurting. You wish a man cared enough to try and understand and fix you, so you pour all this love into their problems hoping it’s reciprocated…but it never is. You waste all your time and energy on a guy that either runs off with another girl or is content to have you waiting around until he decides if he wants more. You rebuild a man for the next bitch, ensuring that he now understands how to now be a good boyfriend, meanwhile whose left to rebuild you? This leaves you stuck crying about how good you were to someone that’s off being Mr. Perfect for his next woman. When you find the energy to finally move on and try to love once more, guess who gets your pussy throbbing next? The same type of man!

How can you vent about needing a “Russell Wilson Type” when those type of men don’t even get your nipples hard? Look at the last four guys you really liked, I bet you they all had more in common than not. Look at the last four guys you didn’t feel chemistry with, I bet they had their shit together emotionally. He’s corny, he’s a nerd, it’s just something about him. Yeah, that something is called, “Being too secure.” Dating someone that has their shit together only points out just how far behind your own life is. Have you ever seen a young person be given a job above an older person? They resent them on the surface but what’s really going on is that they resent themselves for still being their age and not as far along—it’s the same thing with damaged people trying to date a person who isn’t insecure, a constant self-loathing reminder! The easy fix is to pursue someone who will allow you to play make believe, someone either worse off than you or that needs fixing. That shit never works, and you’re left bogged down with someone else’s problems while yours grow and grow.

Another piece of this fucked up mental puzzle is the want to prove and validate your past through the men of your present. Damaged women are constantly chasing the ex that hurt them or the man that rejected them because through conquering a man like her shitty boyfriend or absentee father she can prove to herself that it wasn’t her—it was him. The problem becomes that when you pick men with those traits, you’re skipping over the clear fucking message of—stay away from men like that you idiot! Your head’s hard and your pussy is moist, so you end up riding the dick of a guy that pushes you away and pulls you back in only to push you away again, and you end up calling that “true love”. You’re not dumb, you know these things, you just refuse to articulate them.

Is it chemistry or is it just familiarity? You see a guy on Instagram that has the same dumb ass hair cut as your boyfriend from two years ago, and you automatically like him for a reason you don’t tie together. You go to a bar and flirt with a guy that has the same smart-ass sense of humor as the guy that fucked you and never called you again, and you automatically feel a spark for a reason you don’t tie together. Get the picture yet? You’re not woke to your own toxic attractions, you’re sleepwalking through life because you refuse to admit you have a problem choosing men. Your hormones are locked onto those with a high chance of shitting on you, but when someone asks why you’re single you respond with some basic bitch slogan like: Because boys suck! No, beloved, the boys you try to turn into men suck because you equally suck. You break up, blame the guy for acting the way guys like him act, and then rush back on the market to repeat this step. Pump your breaks! Stop dating for a minute. Stop taking phone numbers. Stop responding to DMs. Understand what you’re chasing after because it’s not male love. You’re driven by the lack of self-love tied to something that hurt you in your childhood or adolescence and that needs to be healed before you start dating again.

Assuming Everyone Wants to Play You

Another type of damaged woman is the one that is overly cautious and full of attitude. I get emails from a handful of women that will run down a normal date then always end it with, “So what do you think? He’s trying to play me, right?” You want someone to co-sign your paranoia because you’re deathly afraid of going through heartbreak again. You can’t spend life in a shell! Men want pussy—who doesn’t know that? Should men not want to fuck you? A part of falling for a woman is first being sexually attracted to her, you can’t get one without the other, and anyone that tries to blow smoke up your ass about how he fell in love with your mind first is lying. Kill all this noise about not wanting a man that objectifies you and wanting someone that’s “just a friend” because you sound naïve. I get it, a man led you on then fell back. A boyfriend broke up with you after he got all the benefits of your unselfish behavior. A guy who said he wasn’t like the rest treated you just like the rest, and you’re sick of crying over men. You think the solution is to throw on your Savage mask, turn Cardi B up, and live a life where you fuck these men before they fuck you—but you’re not built like that, cupcake. You think the solution is to avoid dating, focus on work or school, and buy a case of batteries—but you still lust for love, princess. If you sit out the game for fear of being injured how many championships do you think you’ll win? People are sneaky and devious but you can’t tell me that any woman that’s read the majority of this website or any of my books can’t outwit a player or see through a mindfuck in a week or less? Being damaged isn’t just about the obvious bad behavior or funky attitude, it’s also about being so stuck in your fear that you refuse to give anyone a chance. You don’t have to ask me, your friends, or google if someone is out to get you—assume they are, but go into battle knowing that you’re a fucking Spartan, and no dick tactics formed against you can possibly penetrate your mental armor!

Chasing After Rejection

The saddest sign that a woman needs to do self-healing and awaken her inner Spartan is when she chases after a man that’s making it clear he doesn’t want her. At least twice a week I get asked, “Do you think he likes me,” then presented with evidence where a woman should already know that he doesn’t. The dating stage is complicated, it relies on signs and assumptions. You can text all week with someone or go out on a long date and feel as if they get you, then the next week they switch up on you, leaving you confused. I’ve covered in exhaust how people put on fronts during the honeymoon stage of getting to know a person and that only through time and patience can you truly be sure of an agenda. Still, when you’re hurting and looking for a savior in the form of a lover, it’s hard to see the writing on the wall. You’re expecting him to not call you after sex—but he does like nothing has changed only to fall back before having sex again. He takes you out on three dates, you don’t have sex, and he seems as if he likes you even more than you like him—but he falls back. Everything is going good, you think this is about to be official—but he stops texting you with the same enthusiasm and he doesn’t make plans to see you as he once did. Talk about confusing! All of these rules you try to follow get turned upside down, and you don’t know why this keeps happening to you. Instead of accepting that his falling back is proof of incompatibility, you try to win him back and that’s where you ruin your life.

A man will reject you in such a subtle yet obvious way that every part of you will refuse to accept it. The ego hates to be humbled so it reaches for an excuse that will make the rejection sting less. You want to learn how men think. You want to backtrack to see what could have gone wrong. You want to stalk his social media to see if he found someone else. You want to text him paragraphs asking what you did wrong. You want to call and say, “Fuck you, clown! You ain’t all that anyway!” These thoughts race through your head, but the truth is you just want someone to like you or give you another chance to show that you are likable. When you have gone through various men falling back multiple times, each new rejection reminds you that you aren’t what guys are looking for. It’s not just one or two men—every man that has gotten to know you has shown that. Even when they come back trying to talk to you again, it ends the same way, so the victory of “they always come back,” is meaningless. Those guys didn’t return because they felt as if you were special, they are either bored or gaming. What hurts more, a man that comes back and plays you or going out and meeting a new guy that doesn’t live up to his potential? You all want the comfort of that old thing but you fail to notice that by being constantly rejected by a person that knows you intimately it does more damage. How many times are you going to let him come over late at night for a talk that turns into his face between your legs? How many times are you going to unblock him hoping the bullshit he texts you is any different from the last time? How many times are you going to to let someone keep sampling you only to remind you that you’re not good enough?

“Stop chasing after men that don’t fucking want you!”

– shit women who don’t take their own advice say every day.

Knowing how males think won’t make one take you back. Texting a man paragraphs on top of paragraphs about your feelings won’t make him reconsider you as the wifey type. Unfollowing a man on social media won’t make him call you. Posting a meme about “They always want you after you find someone else,” will not inspire remorse. Going to go fuck your ex or some random that happens to be around won’t send a message that he’s missing out. If a man wants you, he goes all in to get you! There doesn’t need to be outside pressure or blackmail to make him see you for what you as special! He either does or he doesn’t. If he’s not showing love, he’s not feeling love—it’s just that simple!

How it feels when we men are into a woman: She doesn’t have to text you first, you reach out whenever she’s on your mind. Even when you’re busy, you find time to see her. You give without expecting anything in return. You don’t reach out exclusively at night when you want pussy. You don’t leave things unsaid when you know she’s upset for any reason. You don’t have her wondering what you are, you tell her she’s yours!

You can’t check any of those things off your list because the men you’re crying about don’t fucking want you. Nevertheless, you play yourself by continuing to reach out until he’s forced to respond. If and when he responds what happens next? A man’s lies are as strong as fentanyl in the ears of a weak woman. He calms you down with a “sorry” or a lame excuse as to why he’s been acting that way. You forgive him, let him back in for as long as he’s bored or on break from the life he would rather be living, then he pulls the same trick. He pushed you away because he didn’t want you the way you wanted him, you pulled him back because you hated to be rejected, did you think that was going to last? Reaching back out or being receptive to you reaching out again doesn’t prove shit but the presence of boredom or horniness. “My friend got back with this guy that was playing games, now they have a kid together and are happy,” turns into, “Remember my friend, her baby daddy broke up with her for another girl, why are guys so fucked up!” Someone really told me that and all I could do is laugh. Of course he left her because she forced a relationship on a man that didn’t want her. It happens everyday and dudes will always find an escape route because no one wants to stay with a Placeholder! You’re so damaged and desperate that you deny this truth in favor of the narrative that he manipulated you. No Basica, the snake fell to the ground and slithered away, you ran through the grass looking for the snake because you don’t have any other options, and he bit your ass. Don’t be bitter, be better! Your insecurities made you fall for the type of treatment that a more powerful woman would have never put up with, so what separates your gullibility from her wisdom?

Stop Pushing People Away:

The moment a man is trying to pour true honest love into a damaged woman that isn’t used to someone not having a malicious agenda, she runs. A lot of the men reading this know exactly what I’m talking about because it’s the most frustrating thing a guy can deal with—being genuine but having your motives questioned or rejected. One of the hardest things I find for women to grasp is the notion that it’s okay to let go of the hurt and receive love. They’re used to being betrayed, so running becomes a defense mechanism.

The Ballad of Ms. ChooChoo: A woman once came to me faking as if she couldn’t find love because all the men she has dealt with end up having these toxic secrets. She ran down all these past relationships to prove her point. Attached a picture of herself to prove that physically she was a 10. It was almost like a serial killer begging to be exposed. Weeks later we finally touched on her last boyfriend who “was always busy with work” and she revealed that it didn’t end quite how she told me in her initial email. He was busy with work, and she used that to justify talking to other men even though they were in a relationship. She confessed that she sent a nude to one guy. They took a break, but he agreed to keep it going because he loved her. She followed that forgiveness by accusing him of sleeping with a co-worker. That wasn’t true and again she apologized and they kept the relationship going. The next incident was when she went out with some friends, meets a guy, then ends up back at his place for sex. This wasn’t an ex or a guy she had been texting, this was a random stranger who happened to be at the event she attended. I’m reading this email thinking this was the final straw, but her confession kept going… She ends up having a threesome with that same guy and one of his friends—twice! She keeps this to herself for what I assume was months and only tells her boyfriend when he’s about to take a trip for a conference. To come full circle she didn’t have trouble finding love, she had trouble being loved to the point where she kept finding new ways to push this man away. Her sending pics, accusing him, or having ChooChoo time had nothing to do with her boyfriend not being a decent man—she was looking for a way out of something she couldn’t handle—a healthy relationship.

Stop Hating, Start Healing

Somewhere in your life story there is an incident or setback that you’re clinging onto that continues to hold you back and you’re the only one that can pull that out. You can talk to your mother or father. You can track down an ex on Facebook and have closure. You can get surgery to be more visually appealing. You can get straight A’s or amass a huge savings account… none of that is going to stomp out the way you feel about yourself. The fake smile you call “life” needs to be wiped away so you can finally admit that you’re not happy living this way.

There is nothing so horrible that you can’t recover from it! I’ve seen women get incurable STDs, regroup and still find love. I’ve helped women that have gone through sexual abuse rise above and remember their power. I’ve talked to several women that had men they considered to be soulmates die, and each one bounced back once they stopped cursing their circumstances. You must find the courage to dig into whatever you hate about your life and address that because no one else will ever care enough to do it for you. There is nothing wrong with investing in a therapy session, talking to your true friends, or writing down all the ways where you feel weak or insecure so you can set a goal to repair each of those areas day by day. The answer to moving towards who you were always meant to be starts with ridding yourself of the person that’s been holding you back. When I look in the eyes of my newborn daughter these days and she grins, there isn’t any pain or worry. Each one of you was innocent until the world darkened you, and you owe it to yourself to find a way back to that place.

click here to download The Adulting Audio Guide…

Ladies forward this next section to a man who NEEDS it…

For the Men

I have a friend that’s a “Red Pill” practitioner, you know, down with feminism take back the man’s world from the bitches type. In terms of confidence, it works as he stays with a girl busting it open at his condo every weekend…but it’s the type of girls that he chooses versus the girls he talks to me about wanting that points to a huge hole a lot of men have. There comes an age where half the girls you’ve slept with you can’t remember and no one wants to hear those “yo, I fucked this one chick” stories anymore. When you’re in college live your life, but how the fuck are you 29 years old still asking guys, “where the hos at tonight?” You’re holding on to what makes little boys cool! A grown ass man proud to be smashing basic girls that we all could smash– you want a cookie? No one gives props for that anymore so what’s the excuse for not going after quality women or pushing away those that prove to be your equal? You’re afraid. “I ain’t afraid of shit, bro” sure you are, you’re afraid of loving a girl just like the one I described above that got a train ran on her then went back and kissed all on her boyfriend. You’re afraid of proposing to a girl only to find out she just wanted joint bank accounts. You’re afraid of wasting your life with a woman that doesn’t understand you or keeps throwing old shit in your face. You’re afraid to choose wrong, period. Girls are scary because they have the power to make us lose ourselves in them, and to give your heart to the wrong one could fuck you up for life. There are guys that are still damaged from a high school girl’s rejection ten years later. There are guys that had a hard time losing their virginity and feel a need to take it out on any woman that dares try to like him in his current state. We call women petty and emotional but there are males that take the fucking cake on acting like straight bitches.

Not all women are hos out to get something out of you. Not all women are damaged goods stuck on their ex or looking to push you away the minute you get close. Not all women are going to badger you about hanging out with your friends too much or call you gay because you choose to take a trip with the fellas. Not all women are going to hold shit in only to start an argument weeks later. Not all women thirst for attention and want to text twelve dudes just so they can feel secure. If the women you constantly attract or tend to lust after fit those descriptions then you should address the elephant in the fucking room—you’re chasing after the wrong ones because there’s something broken inside of you that has something to prove to the wrong ones. Ask any truly mature man in your circle or look at the shit Hov or Gucci overcame in the name of not wanting to lose a good woman and then look at the reason you’re still stuck on seeing chicks as just pussy. We all grow up and we all have to embrace the challenge of going through the Ms. Wrongs in order to get to our Ms. Right.

Typical women think any man that’s cocky and loud is an Alpha Male because they don’t know what real confidence looks like and confuse douche bag or aggressive behavior with power. At the same time, people throw the term “simp” out there liberally these days, but I’ll tell you who is the actual simp—men that hide their fear behind tough talk. You rant online or in the barbershop about ho this/ ho that, yet slide into the DMs or approach a girl based on her lack of clothes or mannish behavior. You’re talking shit about the type of girl you claim to hate while trying to put your face between her ass cheeks—that’s fraudulent as fuck. You hate her guts but want to be in her guts… huh? It’s not about easy sex because I’ve seen the screen grabs—you are actually putting in work and effort with the same girls you name call. Let’s keep it G, you push away the nice girls that will do any and everything, claim you’re not ready for a relationship, then fall for a textbook manipulator the next weekend. Girls are so confused as to why men chase the women that give them their ass to kiss, yet play games with the ones that would wipe their ass for them, but it’s simple—you’re seeking validation.

Basic Guy Checklist: Self-medicating with weed or pills. Finding any reason to drink and party. Immersing yourself in conspiracy theories that make you seem smart and woke. Reaching out to weak exes. Sliding thirsty chicks into situationships. Preying on big girls with low self esteem. Acting fake-jealous because you know a girl will take that to mean you care and come running. Ignoring texts and not communicating because you want the rush of someone acting like they care. Having no fucks to give when you go raw in a girl you barely like because it’s not like you’re doing anything anyway. Breaking up a relationship with a girl that’s moved on just to prove you still have control of her. Faking like you’re going to kill yourself if she does leave. Abandoning a chick and throwing a new girl in her face just to see what happens. These are the things damaged men do every single day because it helps avoid the real problem—depression. If you do any of those things don’t be mad, don’t get defensive, I need you to do the same thing I ask of the women, go inside and figure your shit out before you waste more years.

The Real Red Pill

When that woman told me the story of the threesome, I thought about her boyfriend and how that probably led him down a path he still hasn’t recovered from. Imagine the girl you loved doing something to cut you that deep and all you ever did was love her? There are damaged men that need to mature or let go of their pain, but there are also normal men that will put themselves out there and get played because they’re chasing the glitter of a woman without inspecting the core of her character. I want to help men to navigate the game, not in a way where the woman is the enemy and pussy is the objective, but in a way where you prepare yourself to side step the wrong types of women, and a Game Changer is the objective. When I wrote THIS ARTICLE I told you all I was working on something for the men, and that something was a new book that serves to wake up men that need motivation the same way Men Don’t Love Women Like You served to help women to Spartan Up and it’s called: She’s Not It…

“Why don’t you write a book telling the men what they need to do,” there you go. Now I don’t want to hear you deflecting with that anymore. I’ve said for years that a woman is either the wifey type or pussy. Either a Placeholder or a Game Changer, but the same applies for men. Now it’s time to ask yourself are you going to be the type of man that can grow into a husband or will you stay a dick just looking for a nut? Are you going to pretend like you have the answers only to end up like Rob Kardashian or are you going to let someone help put you up on game? I’ve talked to so many types of women and men over the years about their problems and I wish I could put the Queens that fall for the Dickticians with the Kings that fall for the Basicas, but I’m not a matchmaker. What I can do is help bridge the gap, so every man who reads it can start to attract a worthy partner.

For the ladies, I think it will benefit you all to read it too (or send a copy as a gift for a guy that needs to get the hint) because it discusses a lot of things you may not realize you do in keeping yourself in the role of Placeholder.  I’ve also included Bonus Chapters for the women answering top questions about men. That alone is a must read.

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Thanks for reading Dating While Damaged

Far From BasYc

My 24-Year-Old Friend: Was popular in high school and
had her pick of men. Now she can’t get past the first date with the kind of man
she wants. Settles for dates with simps out of boredom. Recycles the dick of
her ex from high school who has a whole girlfriend. Says she’s not looking for
a real relationship yet always complains about men her age not wanting anything
real.

My 33-Year-Old Friend: Was in a long-term relationship throughout her twenties that ended with him walking away and marrying someone else. She has a kid by the rebound man who sold her a bag of lies and then ghosted her during the pregnancy. Currently dates a guy who says he’s separated from his wife but isn’t. Thinks her life is over because she’s over 30+ with a kid, and what decent man wants that…

Why does age lower expectations? Each woman reading this had a dream job, a dream house, a dream husband, and a dream life in mind when they were in middle school… now 10-20 years later so many are stuck working jobs they don’t want to do, dealing with inconsistent ass men, and settling for a life where they have zero power. Where did it all go wrong and how do you instill the confidence to get back on track?

To listen to my new audio guide instead of reading Click Here

Let’s talk about two huge chapters in your love life—The
20s when you feel like you can conquer the world only to end up getting
your heartbroken, going back and forth with some time-waster, or simply sitting
alone in the house because you don’t have hoes like you had in your late teens.
The second chapter is The 30s when you’re rebounding from all the ways
you fucked up in your 20s. Most likely you’re established in your career, have
a solid group of friends, but you’re still sad because you’re inching towards 40,
and you can’t find anyone who wants to give you the love you deserve. When you’re
30+, the idea of “what if” hits different, because you can literally point to
someone or something that took you off course. The irony is that the women in
their 20s don’t realize the power they have currently, and the women in their
30s are often too filled with regret to understand how they can easily reset
their fortunes. Today we’re going to touch on both groups…

The Quarter-Life
Crisis

When you’re young, your cockiness is often off the charts. Your teachers tell you that you’re smart, your family members remind you that you’re special, the job offers or internships come rolling in, and your confidence skyrockets to the point where you believe that you could shit gold with enough effort. From age 20-29 you have will have hot streaks where you manifest success without trying, and then, without warning, you go cold as if the universe is playing a cruel joke on you. You try your hardest, yet nothing works out. You try to play by the rules you were taught, only to see people who don’t play far profit without penalty. It’s like everything you thought you knew about reaching your goals turns out to be a lie, and that leaves you in a state of frustration and depression you can’t shake.

The degree you spent all that money getting isn’t paying offThe friends you thought you had for life have grown apart from youThe stability of school has given way to the chaos of day to day workingThe optimistic person you used to be has given way to someone who is rarely happy

You’re trying to please the people around you, fulfill your potential, and live a positive life, but it’s hard to invoke change when everything you do feels like a losing effort. The job you took doesn’t pay as much as promised, and the people there make you miserable. You were never educated on how to handle debt, and that credit card and/or student loan interests keeps piling up. Those family members who used to be your cheerleaders are now praising others or throwing shade your way. The peers who you were doing better than are now surpassing you. Life went wrong, you aren’t where you want to be, and there isn’t anyone you want to talk to about it because you feel embarrassed. A Quarter-Life Crisis can strike at any time in your 20s because it’s not so much about age; it’s about results. What do you have versus what do other people around you have… You aren’t ignorant, you know everyone has their own path, but that doesn’t help quell the anxiety of “why am I still stuck here.” You don’t know how to feel… You don’t think you’re meant to be with anyone… You find yourself not even caring about what happens. This isn’t the real you, but it’s become your most consistent avatar. Faking it or wrapping yourself in a defensive shell of excuses becomes the sole coping mechanism. No one knows the doubt you have or the lack of direction you feel, it just becomes a silent weight that drags you down day in and day out.

Ever go through that Instagram Explore page and get angry? The internet changed the way people view themselves. The measuring stick was once your neighborhood or circle of friends, but now because of social media, you’re judged globally. Some 23-year-old who you never met started a business, bought a luxury car, is going on vacation several times a year, and is on IG boo’d up with a guy that looks every bit your type. Meanwhile you’re at work counting down the time for you to clock out so you can go home and watch your favorite show or play on the internet. How much money is in your bank account? Where’s your man? How much money do you owe? How many people can you depend on to help you out in a bind? Where were you supposed to be by your current age and why aren’t you there? No one wants to be reminded of that shit.

Drinking, smoking, online shopping, and television are there to help you escape. Jokes about overdraft fees, affirmations about how next year is going to be better, or gossip about how someone who pretends to be balling is secretly in the struggle makes your crisis seem okay. Then you see a picture of someone doing it big or an old friend or classmate achieving something great, and it makes you relapse all over again with negative thoughts—If they’re getting that, why haven’t I?  How hard do I have to pray to level up? What book should I read to manifest something substantial? What research can I do to figure out how they won at life so fast?

You unfairly judge yourself based on someone else’s life story. You’re looking to emulate instead of carving out your own path to greatness. Inspiration and motivation strike for a day or two, then you’re gripped by the fear that this amazing future you had mapped out when you were 18, and idealistic will never happen. Adulting is hard as shit because that little voice in your head grows and grows more negative each day…

Pop Quiz #1. What’s the one thing you can easily attain that will distract yourself from the negative parts of your life? Attention. When you’re going through a crisis in every other aspect of your adulting life, the one thing that can bring peace is finding someone who will shower you with attention and make you feel special. Love in your 20s is complex because so many people are looking for validation through others. Why does that man who lives at home and doesn’t have a pot to piss in, spend his free time chasing pussy? Because conquering those women makes him feel like a winner! Why does a woman who works a dead-end job obsess over designer clothes and taking pictures in exotic locations? Because looking good and getting props makes her feel like a winner! So many of you are stressed because you feel like you aren’t keeping up with the next person, but the truth is most people your age are faking it for attention because that shallow feeling makes everything feel better… at least for a few days.

Pop Quiz #2. What’s the one thing that can attain that can salvage a mediocre life? A Relationship. The quest for love has become the quest for happiness. Attention fades, but locking someone down in a relationship guarantees that you will have a current distraction from your so-so life. People enter relationships despite red flags, have children with people they knew had issues, and repeat that same pattern because a relationship gives them something to live for when everything else is trash. Life isn’t working out as planned, but so long as you have someone in your face making you forget the bigger picture, you feel safe. You don’t want to deal with work drama, money problems, nor a lack of direction, but you do want to deal with dating because it’s instant gratification.

Think about the world we live in, tons of poor people are happy because they have someone to share in that struggle. Tons of women and men are being exploited by users, but they’re happy because at least they have someone to come home to. Partnering up used to be about uplifting each other, not sharing in misery, but that’s what it’s become. Think about your ideal relationship, it isn’t taking care of a man who can’t get right nor is it living paycheck to paycheck because neither of you make enough. No one wants a struggle life, so why do we see so many people content with “at least I got a man” Focusing on self is hard, so people settle for finding a partner, because companionship settles those anxious nerves that keep telling you that your life is going nowhere.

Life sucks, but you have someone to take care of. Life sucks, but you have someone who relies on you. Life sucks, but you have the excitement of an up and down relationship. Life sucks, but at least you have someone that gives you purpose and makes it worth getting up in the morning… of course the problem with this mentality is that you aren’t fixing YOU, you’re hiding behind another person who can leave your ass and then you’re back at square one all over again forced to look at the reality of your life choices. Your purpose in life isn’t tied to anyone else. “We’re in this together, babe” is basic bitch propaganda. No one is going to save you, and you can’t save them. It’s time to stop making lazy choices and shake yourself out of this cycle of mediocrity!

A Quarter-Life Crisis is normal, it doesn’t mean you’re crazy, a failure, or weak. It means you’re evolving! You want better, you need better, than do better by focusing on the shoes you’re walking in without worrying about what size everyone else has on their feet. Things haven’t gone as planned, but what movie starts off at the happy ending? Stop doubting yourself and understand that it’s never too late to turn things around. You can literally attract a cloud of change into your life overnight or you can keep feeling sorry for yourself, the choice is yours. We’ll get into the spiritual aspect of this later but let’s start with practical dating advice. What binds most of the women in their 20s that write me for help is their inability to read the men in their dating pools. So, let’s start there…

The Dating Pools of
your 20s

You’re young, pretty, and despite what else is going wrong in your life, you know there will be men who try and date you. Because of Disney you maintain this idea of some prince popping up and changing your fortune. Okay, princess, who do you date in order to get this fairy tale? All the internet standards about money, career, and affluence are bullshit. There are women I know that read Ho Tactics, then there are women I know who USE Ho Tactics. Most of you aren’t leveling up with tricks or Sponsors because it’s not in your character. You want the fantasy not the bag. Think about your life: If you’re a woman in her early to mid 20s dating a man 24-28, then it’s a 70% chance he doesn’t have real money. The secret that you’re hiding is that it doesn’t matter. You aren’t as shallow as you pretend, you date men based on personality and looks. The traits you fall in love with point to the type of guys you dated in high school, so here you are years after high school still dealing with that quality of man. While you may be mature emotionally, you are still turned on by the basic shit that got you wet in 11th grade. Men know this and so do you, so again, who do you date?

Men Who Are Still Teenagers At Heart: These are the guys who have yet to grow out of that “every woman is a hole to be fucked” stage aka The Ho Phase. They’re not mean or spiteful, they’re fun and goofy. They make you feel like high school or freshmen year all over again. Everything is a party until they get bored. They’re emotionally immature, so they ghost you without a real reason, try to place blame on you, or do something to sabotage it like trying to fuck your friend or being sloppy with other women.

Men Who Have Been Victimized: Guys who have their
heart broken early take years to bounce back, but they position themselves as
ready for something serious. The reality is the moment you get to close, you remind
him of “her,” so he begins to pull back emotionally. Even when you try to
apologize or take into account that he’s been hurt; it isn’t good enough. He wants
to waste your time and make you believe that you have a shot of fixing him—but you
can’t fix a grown-ass man; only he can do that.

Men Who Can’t Do Shit For You: Nice guys, sweet guys,
those fellas who take you to the movies and dinner and win you over by being caring…
only for you to realize that he’s not the kind of ambitious man you need. They
work low paying jobs, they don’t have any solid plans for their future, and
while they will do for you, that voice in your head knows that they’re high-key
mediocre.

Men Who Think You’re Dumb: You will meet men who don’t respect you and try to play you like you’re dumb. Unlike the teenage mindset guys, this isn’t about sex or being goofy, it’s about putting you in your place. These misogynist pretend they don’t know how to date and offer you dick and take out. They put on acts like you’re crazy in order to gaslight you. They push you away, pull you back, then do it all over again when you step out of line. This is the type most of you will get damaged by because you think he can be “fixed”. He can’t. He doesn’t want you, he wants control.

Men Who Overachieved: Bernie would call these guys the 1%, not that they’re necessarily rich, but they have achieved either wealth, fame, notoriety, or property at a young age. They floss money, show off material items, and remind anyone who listens what they have. You may think that kind of cockiness is a turnoff, but when push comes to shove, he does represent something a 20 something with anxiety wants—success, clout, and stability. If you’re an independent-minded woman you want to match his hustle and prove yourself to him. If you’re about securing a bag, you just want to share in his wealth. This makes him a magnet for all kinds of women. The problem is, a man like this will always have groupies, so the chances of him wanting you for more than a fling is doubtful.

Men Who You Can Grow With: An emotionally mature man who can sit and talk to you about where he’s coming from and where he’s going isn’t rare. A man who may not have much money to treat you to 5-star restaurants, but is driven to get to that level, isn’t rare. A man who you butt heads with but wants to work out the issue instead of falling back isn’t a fucking unicorn! The thing is that these men don’t come with labels. They need to be vetted and tested. How do you do that? Keep reading…

The Wrong Mindset of
Your 20s

“I love him… I hate him… I miss him… Fuck that asshole… He’s never going to find a woman that does for him like me… I can’t believe he moved on with that ugly bitch… I’m never dating again… Hey, I just met someone new let me give love another try…” -The mind of a Typical 20 something-year-old

Most women in their 20s don’t vet or test a man’s intentions because they think they know everything. Yes, you right there reading this, you think you know all the game. You know how to do deep google searches, scan through social media accounts, and you have a “gut instinct” when something is off. In your mind, men are dumb, and you are smart. Then you come up against someone you REALLY like. I always throw that in because most of you are only smart when it’s a dick you don’t want. Those men you’re in to make you devolve, and all that “I know I know I know” bullshit goes out the window. Now you’re confused as to what he wants from you. You’re not sure if he really does talk to other women or if you’re paranoid. You try to read between the lines of everything he does to make it all make sense. In the end, even when he does show you red flags, you stick around. You love his dick, you love his swagger, you even love the way he kinda disrespects you and puts you in your place. Eventually you wise up and get rid of him, or he gets bored and gets rid of you. He comes back, and you do that entire dance again… OR someone just like him comes into your life, and you go Groundhog Day, repeating the same mistakes. Why? What is it about these men that even someone as smart as you can’t learn her lesson? Again, it’s the mindset of being in your 20s, you love hard, you think you have all the time in the world to grow with someone, and you trust in words more than actions.

More than half of you are in situationships, others are recycling exes, and some of you have random hookups when you’re lonely. To each their own, but is that what you want or is it the only thing you think you can get? The defensive armor that you’re suited up in screams “Fuck dating” but the people you stalk on your phone prove that you do want male love more than you let on. We’re about to dive into how to get what you want, but you have to own up to your insecurities. You don’t understand the dating pools, you just date. You don’t understand how men can lie so easily or love you one month then love another bitch the next week. You have an ego that swears you’re too smart to be fooled, yet year after year you get that ass humbled. That’s your 20s, or at least how it’s going to keep going unless you Spartan Up. It’s time to get rid of the panic attacks, avoid the mental breakdowns, and regain control…

The Right Mindset of
Your 20s

Ready to continue to the next section? I wrote a new eBook on how to deal with Adulting and Dating in your 20s and 30s, if you’re ready to continue on this subject = CLICK HERE and download it and finish reading…

These Full chapters are also included in the new Audio Edition of The Unicorn Delusion along with four new chapters. Click Here to download and listen to the Audible Version. For iTunes Click Here.

How To Level Up When
You’re 30+

“I wish I found your site or read your books in my 20s, I would have avoided so many mistakes.”

Brace yourself. Unlike the previous chapter on dating
in your 20s, what you’re about to experience is less forgiving, less
understanding, and absolutely void of compassion for the weak and delusional.
Your 20s were supposed to be a learning experience, yet here you are 30+, still
making rookie mistakes. You are too grown to pitied and too smart not to be
dragged until you Spartan Up! This is going to be quick and painful as I run
down the top dating mistakes I see women in their 30s make and a showcase on how
to murder, burn the body, and bury the ashes of the weak-ass woman that is
currently reading these words. With age should come wisdom. The woman you were
ten years ago wasn’t as smart, as intuitive, and as resourceful as the woman
you are now. Everything I wrote about in terms of being young and dumb, you
could nod along with because you figured it all out the hard way. You wish you
could go back in time and tell your younger self those things because you see
how hard it now is to get your career, finances, or love life back on track
after blowing the past 6-10 years being hardheaded. The irony is that you’re
looking back with wisdom that you still don’t apply to your everyday life.

Instead of using your life like a map, you use it as a tissue to cry into. You regret your choices in friends, your choices in jobs, or your choices in men on the daily. Happiness could have been yours if not for—”insert excuse here.” Are you done feeling sorry for yourself? Are you done playing “what if”? Are you done being bitter about the unchangeable? Good. Now I want you to drop your ego, let go of that negativity, and accept the fact that you are STILL going to win. A woman doesn’t even reach her prime under her late 30s into early 40s. You aren’t damaged goods, you’re a fucking Phoenix ready to rise from the ashes. Close your eyes. Leave your basic thoughts, your defensive attitude, and your self-loathing outside, and let’s renovate the house you call your mind… (Click Below to Continue Reading or Listening To This Chapter)

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Thanks for reading Quarter-Life Crisis – Dating Advice For Your 20s (and 30s)

Woman A: Dates one man at a time. Is loyal to the “talking” stage. Emotionally invests in that one man even without a relationship title.

Woman B: Dates multiple men. Understands that there is nothing wrong with getting to know people in order to see who is the best fit. Doesn’t over-invest in any man until he proves himself.

Are you Woman A or Woman B? Most of you pretend to be Woman B, but the reality is you date one man at a time because you’re desperate to hit a home run, get wifed, and leave this crazy world of dating alone. You meet a dude, he’s nice, handsome, good career path, and he talks just the right amount of cocky shit to make you spring a leak by the end of date one. In your mind, “that’s my boyfriend, he just doesn’t know it yet.” All the other guys you swiped on those apps— cut. All the weird thirst buckets in your DMs who you entertain out of boredom— cut. That ex who you’re thinking about giving another chance—cut! You met the man who you want to be yours and you’re using a combination of prayer, law of attraction, and good old fashion “wishing” to mentally affirm that he will be yours.  This new guy is the exception to all your rules about moving too fast and you know in your soul that he’s the one. When potential meets lust, smart women make dumb choices. You bought into “what could be” and that’s why you cut everyone off and put your eggs in his basket before you’ve fully vetted him.

4-6 months later… he wasn’t the one. He wasted your time. Now here you are bitter, angry, and lonely because you allowed yourself to be that basic ass woman that dated one at a time. A Spartan would have had another guy or two on the roster. A Spartan would have read enough of my work to know that the honeymoon stage is always a false high. A Spartan would have never put her eggs in one fucking basket because a Spartan lives by the rule that she’s single and free to do what the fuck she wants until someone earns her loyalty! You’re not a Spartan, you are still a little girl in a grown ass woman’s body that gets her hopes up because you’re afraid to risk the dick.

Women are the prize. “Not these days with the way guys act–” zip that shit up Basica, no one wants to hear your hot ass breath spewing excuses.  I don’t care if you don’t go many places to meet guys or if you only get a few quality options that want to date you, the only thing you need to hit reset on your sad ass weak ass Basica ass life is to be proactive and stop waiting for these men to pick you up and put you down! Over committing is something 9 out of 10 of you do out of pure laziness. Yes, men are guilty of doing it as well, but the average male always has a backup plan, women rarely do. Let’s go deep into the mindset of how this game is played so you can either break free of this way of life or avoid it all together…

How Men Play The Game

If a man is not engaged, married, or in a long time serious relationship, his eggs are in other baskets, meaning that he is actively in the process of dating other women, fucking other women, or open to talking to other women while he’s dealing with you. Why do men do this? Because even the dumb ones are smart enough to cover their bases. If you start acting funny, get in your feelings, turn out to be a false alarm, or if he finds someone he likes more, a man can freely move on to the next bitch basket, without heartbreak or depression. For example, when you break up with your “exclusive, but not official” friend of six months; you cry and stress to the point of being physically sick because you were 100% invested in that man who suckered you into a half-ass relationship. That same man you’re broken up about will be a sad, but he will be fine in a week or two. It’s not because that man is cold hearted, it’s because he didn’t invest 100% in your stock. He was 40% into you, 20% into his ex who he was still fucking, 15% into the new crush he’s been trying to pull off Instagram, and he kept the last 25% reserved in case he meets a new chick off Tinder. Relationships end every day, and men can’t afford to be left emotionally bankrupt over a girl he was only half-sure about in the first place.

It’s romantic suicide to invest in a person that you’re not blown away with or sure about, and that goes for men and women. However, women are generally more willing to take that risk and put all their eggs in one basket much more frequently than men because their desire for romance and love blinds them from the warning signs that the dude she’s crushing on has serious issues and isn’t worth going all in with.  The reality of your romantic life is that you HATE dating, you meet a guy who seems better than most, you stop looking and focus on getting to know him exclusively. Earth to Basica! Learn to fucking multitask and stop being so lazy! You can not give guys you just “talk to” husband benefits just because you want to play house! Cock your head, roll your eyes, and tell the world how special you are, but if your relationship status remains, “it’s complicated” that means the person you’re dealing with thinks he can do better.

21st century men invented exclusive, but not committed relationships aka Situationships because unlike dudes in the 70’s, they realized that you don’t have to say, “be my girlfriend” or “You know I love you” in order to get a girl to give up pussy, mouth, or money. A man who isn’t sold on you will hold back emotionally, because he is looking for something better. This deliberate withholding of his feelings allows men to get over you easier or scout for new pussy to replace you with, without feeling guilty. Emotionally detaching yourself during the dating stage is mandatory because it’s all an audition where you have to test consistency and worthiness. How can you do that if you’re blinded by potential? You would have to be a fool to lower your guard and date with your heart on your sleeve knowing how lame 75% of the dating population is after you expose their true agenda.

You think you know everything, but you don’t…

-How do you know he really likes you?

-If he likes you as much as he says why aren’t you official?

-Are you sure you’re the only one he talks to?

-Can you give some real examples to justify why he’s the only guy you’re currently talking to? …I’ll wait.

Those questions are triggering because you know what you have is built on a bunch of nothing. You diagnosed a crush as a soul tie and now you’re trying to overcompensate by giving him all kinds of benefits hoping he picks you for real. Why would he at this point? Because you’re pretty? Because you’re smart? Because you have a good job? Because you’re funny? Because you have a big heart? None of those things make you rare!

Most women overvalue their role in a man’s life based on what they assume they bring to the table and the simple shit men do when showing affection. He texts you throughout the day. He tells you how different you are. He does what he has to do to stroke your ego and lower your guard, and you eat it up. What is he doing to solidify this top spot in your life? Are you two really together? Did you two define what you are? Has he spent any real money or taken you anywhere that a teenager with a summer job couldn’t take a bitch? Bare minimum feels like royal treatment when you have a history of being undervalued! You’re open off of basic shit because you desperately want the fairy tale. That’s why you brainwash yourself into believing you matter to this man despite him treating you average and never defining his role in your life. Call yourself his “Friend,” “Bae,” or whatever else makes you feel less guilty about giving up pussy to a man that won’t commit, but at the end of the day, you are not his girlfriend, you’re just a girl he sees.  Every male over 21 knows that if you give a typical girl attention and affection, she will assume love and a relationship are on the way. By the time she figures out she’s been played, it’s too late and he’s off to the next chick. You can’t be mad at that because he was always single, you were the one assuming that you were in a relationship.

Why Men See You As Easy Prey

How many of the ladies reading this see themselves as a “he could do better, but hopefully he’ll settle for me,” type of woman? Hopefully none, but in reality some man will see you as good enough to fuck, cuddle with, and date, but not good enough to go all in and commit. “What are we?” has never been asked by a Boss Bitch. Ultimatums aren’t used by Alpha Females. By the time you get to date three if a man isn’t on your clit, then that isn’t the man for you. I talk a lot about ego, but the positive side of it is that it dictates that you don’t wait around for someone to treat you like you deserve. A man who has had multiple conversations with you should not be too cool to act like you’re the shit. Yet, there you are, unsure if a guy likes you because you failed the first stage of Spartanhood 101: Knowing yourself well enough to seal your insecurities.

Girls stress over not being good enough for men more than the internet would like to admit. Women beat their face, fry their hair, starve themselves, dumb down their personality, and give up sex way too fast because male approval is everything. So many ladies think these dudes want Ms. Perfect. Wrong, they want Ms. Worth it. It’s not about the model looks, it’s not about the phat ass, it’s not even about holding him down financially or emotionally. Men are looking for that clear sign that you are different form the other women he’s been with throughout the years that annoyed him, hurt him, or bored him.

A man saying, “You’re different” doesn’t count, the proof is in his actions, and 10 out of 10 times being impressively different gets a commitment in less than a month. So where’s your commitment? Why is he still telling you how busy he is? Why isn’t he doing romantic shit weekly? You’re not different, beloved, you’re plain as fuck. Many girls don’t want to hear that they aren’t that different form the next chick, they want to blame men for being confused about what they want or too immature to spot a real woman. Yes, some men are blind to good women, but if you are meeting multiple men who don’t see you as more than Pussy, then you have to reexamine how truly different you are. Your ego is telling you that you’re an A-, but the guy you like sees you as a C+, and that’s why you’re a grown woman still stuck in a placeholder relationship. So why would a man waste his time dealing with Ms. Average? Why would a man tell Ms. Average how much he loves her? Why would he eat Ms. Average’s ass? Why would he blow up Ms. Average’s phone when she tries to cut him off? Because even at average, you’re something to do.

What makes you special? What makes you different? You say you’re the shit, but give me some receipts? You talk about the same shit, take the same pictures with the same angles and the same filters, you have the same shallow opinions, and you even fuck like the last two girls he hit. These guys treat you like you’re whatever because you see yourself as whatever. You need to start believing in yourself, but you can’t do that if you secretly hate how you act or see yourself as typical. Spartanhood is about ripping down the old you in order to get to know the True you. This isn’t to land a date, it’s to land true confidence so you will always be the most interesting woman in the room.

You Don’t Chase Men, But You Wait For Men

Men, even the ugly and broke ones, rarely put their eggs in one basket because love parched girls have made it easy to test drive without ever buying. One of the phrases I hear weekly is, “I don’t chase men.” Oh. My. God! You don’t chase!?! Girl, you’re so rare and special!?! Here’s a cookie, now go share it with your other friends who are just as single as you are. That chase stuff doesn’t mean shit, because most of you do something much worse—you wait. Waiting for a man to decide what he wants from you is more of a crime than chasing after a man. Men do not mind chasing women because we are hunters by nature. There is no ego when it comes to going after what we want because given the choice of chasing a dime or settling for a six, men will risk the possible rejection.

Women aren’t raised that way; to chase a man is to be thirsty in the female rule book. Approaching a man or shooting your shot makes you look easy or reeks of “masculine energy” or whatever you Basicas call it. Going after the men you want is out of the question, therefore the common way a woman lives life is to wait for men to pursue her then wait for a man to lock her down. Fuck that rule book, because the most weak bitch thing you could ever do is let a man use you up for months while waiting on him to decide if you are good enough to truly be with. The men that approach you are most likely clowns. The one clown that wins you over, is most likely not going to commit. And there you are, just as much of a clown because you allowed these fuckboi’s to lead you around the block.

If a man that’s sampled your pussy countless times, has had 100s of hours of conversations with you, and has made you comfortable enough where you can shit in his bathroom and not be embarrassed, STILL doesn’t know if he wants to be with you—then that is him telling you that you’re a C+! Stop waiting for men to spell it out for you because, niggas can’t spell!

You’re not stupid, you know what “I’m not ready for something serious,” “I’m too busy with my career,” or “I’m still getting over my ex,” really means… You ain’t my top draft pick, so I’m going to keep trading up until I land what I really want… maybe if I never get who I want I may circle back and settle for you, but even then I’m still going to be on the lookout for a better partner.

So many women ask, “How can I get him to see me as a game changer.” You can’t while you’re still thinking like a Basica. Why are you chasing him, when he should be chasing you? Why are you waiting for his decision of if you are wifey material, when he should be trying to prove his hubby worth?  The most powerful weapon you can use in dating is, “what you won’t do, the next man will.” Spartans don’t get chosen, they choose.

Stop Asking Questions You Know The Answer To

So where is this going? So what are we building towards? So what do you see as far as our future?

You know what the answer will be, “Let’s keep doing what we’re doing.” Translation: Leave me alone you placeholder, and enjoy this ride before I bump into the girl I really want.

Why are you playing mind games with yourself? You know that man isn’t going to change his answer. His first answer, second answer, and last answer told you repeatedly, “I’m not ready for something serious (with you).” Get the hint! Love is explosive, it’s passionate, it’s absolute, and never does it include wearing a person down until they see you as special.

The longer you wait for a man to tell you you’re good enough to be his girl, the more comfortable you get playing that role. You’re not an official couple, but his actions will blind you into thinking that a commitment is coming. Commitment is not coming, you are in a dress rehearsal playing the role of wifey, and you’re so caught up in your character that you forget the most important thing, the role has never been yours, and this man is still auditioning other women. I don’t care how in love you are with him or the potential of what could be, the truth will set you free, and the truth is you’re giving your all to a man that’s still focused on casting someone better than you.

Stop Being Understanding

Men are masters of making you understand their struggle. He’s going through a tough time at work, at school, with his family, or has to focus on his Fantasy Football league, so he can’t give you what you want. You understand… you accept it and you make it a positive by saying “at least he’s honest.” Dafuq? Dude just told you that you’re sub-par and not worth the effort of rearranging his life to see you, and that makes you love him more? A man is never too busy for what he wants, yet here you are allowing him to convince you that his life is so hectic that he only has time to come by at night and put his dick in. Are you dense? You come first! You compromise—with your boyfriend or husband, you don’t compromise with some nigga who has time to sext but never time to take you out on real dates. Stop being gullible! Your situation isn’t different. His story isn’t the exception. You’re being gamed just like the countless others!

Stop Being A Band-Aid

You can always tell when a man has New Pussy on his radar, communication become less frequent, his temper becomes short, and the arguments are random and petty. From my side of the fence, I see that your “Him” is trying to get a new “her,” but your naïve ass just sees it as a test. You’ve been brainwashed to believe that you fix things no matter what. Now you’re trying to guess what’s wrong and adjust your actions to make him happy because you think that’s what “good girls” do– roll over. Over-stand the male hustle, beloved. You’re not having a rough patch, he’s trying to sabotage your relationship and force you out in a way where he doesn’t have to be the bad guy. This form of Gaslighting is one of the most effective tactics because it allows him to keep the door cracked in case that new girl doesn’t work.

Why should it be up to a woman to fix a relationship with a man that won’t even claim her as his official girlfriend? That’s like paying to put new brakes on a rental car. You’re maintaining a man that’s not yours and has no intention of being yours because you are desperate for love and affection. You fix marriages, not Situationships! What happened during your life to make you this fucking weak when it comes to dick? You don’t even respect yourself so how can you ever get respect from a man?

Stop Feeling Guilty

How can a man tell his friend how important she is, and then go pull another chick in the mall a few hours later and not feel guilty. Because he’s single. A lot of you don’t know what single means. Look at your ring finger—if you don’t have a band, then you are single. It’s normal for a man to date multiple women. It’s rare for a woman to date multiple men. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, it’s guilt that keeps the sexes unequal. Guilty Woman logic dictates that if you are talking to a cute guy on the phone and going on dates for two weeks, you can’t go get the number of another cute guy and date him too. Even though you aren’t in a serious relationship, that behavior makes you a disloyal hoe who will be forced to raise her hand every time that Chris Brown song comes on. To avoid this you settle for one guy at a time, 100% investment, hoping that he turns out to be boyfriend material. Count up the months you’ve wasted dating ONE man that turned out to be a piece of shit, when you could have been spreading the wealth, and tell me how smart you feel.  A man can tell his homies that he went out with four girls this past weekend and get props. On the other side of the gender fence, a girl can go out with four boys, not fuck any, and her friends will turn their noses up. The moment she opens her mouth to say that she’s popular enough to get four different men to court her, she becomes fast, a hoe, or nasty.

Rival women talk shit about women who date multiple men because they don’t understand how to use pussy power without actually giving out pussy. They assume sex has to be exchanged to get something from a man, including love. They haven’t evolved so they judge and ridicule out of jealousy and ignorance. I would bet that most women reading this, even those who have read this site regularly, have read Ho Tactics, and know their power, are still afraid to use it. Guilt, holds you back because the moment you think about flirting with a stranger, taking his number, and getting him to take you out an hour after the last dude dropped you off, you feel bad. Where does this guilt come from? Men don’t feel guilty, because they are savvy enough not to go all in when they aren’t sure of a woman. After a man is happily married, he won’t sit back and feel bad about talking to Tanya at the same time as Tina. The ends justified the means! Women should operate on this same level. That guilt is your old programming trying to keep you basic. You feel wrong because people have told you to feel wrong, but wait ten years and then add up all of the time you wasted dealing with one guy at a time because it felt “right” and you’ll experience true guilt, the guilt of not living life to the fullest.

Start Getting More Baskets

Stop looking at each new man as “the one” and start looking at them as baskets. You find one basket, place an egg, find another basket, place an egg, and then you let them earn more. No matter how much you like one man more than the other, you only reward based off his actions! Competition for your heart is the best way to keep a your feelings honest, and your emotions in check. But GL, men don’t like it when girls talk to more than one guy at a time. So what! The only time Man comes before Woman is in the dictionary, so fuck what men think and do you! Every man you date should know that you are wanted by other men, and if he doesn’t date properly, show real attention, and treat you with respect, he loses his spot!

How a person has treated you in the past is not a reflection of your current worth! Raise your bar, go for what you want, be demanding, and don’t want anyone so bad that you won’t mind cutting them off if they step out of line. Date with that kind of mentality for the rest of your life and see how fast these men will try to commit to you within the first month. This guilt about men finding out you are talking to other guys or girls gossiping about how loose your morals are; those are weak bitch brain waves that hold you back. You kill weak bitch brain waves by thinking like a Spartan and not giving a fuck about anyone whose name isn’t on your driver’s license. No more excuses, no more finger pointing, get out there and Spartan Up! Audition multiple men instead of just handing out the role of boyfriend to the first guy that shows you attention!

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Far From BasYc

No matter if you’re a Hot Girl, City Boy, Book Worm, or anti-social home body, the summer will drop someone in your lap. I get the most emails asking for advice in July and August, mostly from women who are having all levels of dick thrown at them and they have no idea how they suddenly got so popular. Here’s what I’ve seen over the past week: G.L. I met this guy at a gas station and now he’s trying to take me on vacation. G.L. this guy from high school popped back up, telling me how I was the one that got away. G.L. here’s a screenshot from [insert famous person’s name] what do I DM him back?

Women win in the summer! This shit is like being in college where you’re blitz by cute dick, rich dick, broke dick, ugly dick, simp dick, player dick, foreign dick, sponsor dick, and it’s overwhelming because too many women don’t know how to juggle men. Men lose the fall and winter because they don’t realize they’re only getting attention because their summer fling ghosted that ass. Today I want to address the women that settle and men that allow themselves to be settled for…  Ladies you should be ale to date multiple men (date not fuck, Thotiana) who you actually want to be with not waste time with guys who don’t even get your pussy moist. Fellas you should have the confidence in yourself and wisdom to know when a woman is really into you versus one who just needs a text buddy or a free meal. Buckle up, drop your defenses, and allow me to put a much needed foot in all your asses…

Attention Is For Peasants

How many guys do you have in your phone right now actively messaging you or calling you. That shit’s not rhetorical. Pause and add them up. Now out of all of those men, how many of them do you really want? How many of them can actually bring something to your table? How many of them are impressive enough to put in front of your family and friends and get props? I’ll answer for you– maybe one. There are men that blow you away and who you obsess over, then there are the rest— the “he’s okay” crew who you pick up when bored.  Most women don’t need to manipulate for sex, mind you, but they will manipulate for attention. Right now, there’s a man whose only purpose in a woman’s life is to keep her company via text while she’s at work. He thinks he’s in there, that he’s earning points, but once home, she’s on the phone with the guy she really wants or stressing over the guy that doesn’t want her. Right now there is a man reading this who thinks he is his girlfriend’s first choice, but in reality he’s not even the second or third. The only reason that man was granted access was because he was the easiest option in terms of getting a commitment.

Men don’t want to hear these things, because it creates doubt and gives way to paranoia. Women know how to work their magic and charm to get what they want, and I respect those traits when it’s used to get their first choice. However, too many women misuse their skill sets to prey on easy men, instead of the ones they actually want. The average woman doesn’t feel as comfortable going at Man A (her dream guy) as she does going after Man C (her consolation guy). For some reason, she can Spartan Up or use Ho Tactics on the second stringers, but doesn’t feel right using it on the Starters. In your phone you have a bunch of Man C’s, the nice guys, the lames, the simps, the friend zoners, etc… you’re wasting their time and they are wasting your time, but again. You take what you’re given, you don’t go after the Man A’s that you want because– duh you’re a scared ass. The funny thing is that men tend to say misogynistic things because most of those clowns on your timeline have been the Man C, the one that got used for attention.

I’ve seen social media rants from guys who vent about those women who claim there are no good men left. These males are those allegedly good men who are trying to step up, but are constantly passed on. Although these men are bitter, they have a valid point. When a woman says, “Why can’t I find a good man,” she really means, “Why can’t I find a good man that looks the way I want him to look and likes me back?” There are more men struggling to get pussy than ones that get it daily, but the internet doesn’t talk about these men. Instead we focus on the Players who girls chase, not the low-key guys that girls curve. Man C outnumbers Man A in this world, but that fact is never talked about. It’s like rap music, there are way more Black men going to college than trapping out of Bando’s, but dudes ain’t spitting bars about “Watch me walk that stage, nigga/ Magna Cum Laude,” cus it ain’t cool. Men aren’t talking about sex struggle, because they want to play the pimp role, but if real life were Love Island, no one would step forward to pick them. This is why guys take to twitter and talk about what they won’t do to get pussy as if they get pussy, but they do the MOST while secretly  trying to figure out how other guys are actually getting away with Netflix & Chill. I had one guy email asking, “Are men really getting sex without dates?” He wasn’t a clown; he was a normal guy who is trying to figure out where he was going wrong.

Hot Girl Shit

Ass ate, bills paid, flights booked, rent money, head when she’s bored without reciprocation. These aren’t rap lyrics, ladies today have power and know how to use it… sometimes… I know women who are man-eaters, but only when put around men they see as weak. They go from getting their hearts broken and being exploited to scooping up a Carlton Banks type whose sole purpose is to be Settle Dick that never steps out of line. Why are there women weak for one man but strong around others? Confidence! A woman standing in front of Trey Songz is rarely as confident as when she’s standing in front of Andre the postal worker who’s had a crush on her for two years. When a girl knows a boy is on her clit, she acts as if she has a license to kill.

All these guys are the same regardless of looks, money, or popularity, but she puts one on a pedestal, loses her confidence, and gets fucked over because she’s intimidated. I’ve tried to teach women to be unapologetically confident. Many can’t hit that switch, so they get played, and then rebound with Settle Dick aka Man C aka The Simp aka The Nice Guy aka “the last guy left in her phone at the end of summer”. The Guys who girls know like them are safe and easy to charm, they text back, they’re consistent, but they aren’t who you REALLY WANT, are they beloved? “See NC, I Spartan’d Up,” No, Basica, you didn’t. That man is a weakling. You went down a level to the JV team and flexed. Dominate on the Varsity level, and then I’ll give you props. Just as men use their Bottom Bitch to boost their egos, women use Settle Dick to regain confidence, feel loved, and when she has no more need for him, she’ll get back on the market, most likely to be played by another man she places on a pedestal. Which leads us to…

Settle Dick Season

Cuffing season has been hyped to the point of annoyance. Lists upon lists stuffed with young ass rules and played out tips about what you should be doing to get cuffed. Nevertheless, when you strip away the jokes about Summer Hoes turning into Winter Wifeys, you get something very real, PANIC. No one wants to be alone during the next few months as the weather changes and social activities become less frequent. Her Hot Girl summer started with a trip to the islands and ended with her riding the face of her crush. Your Hot Girl summer started with a few dates but ended with you still fucking that ex from two years ago. You promise yourself that next year is going to be different, by any means necessary.  It won’t be, because you lack the confidence to bend your world to your will. The reality is that most women play it safe all year, waiting to be chose, dating one guy at a time, agreeing to not put a title on things while he figures out what he wants, and all the other basic bitch relationship mistakes, only to realize they should have been going hard off the rip.

Cuffing Season doesn’t make most women aggressive in a Spartan way; it actually makes the majority lower their requirements. Enter The Settle Dick… The guys you really wanted during the summer, they turned out to be shit. The IG guy with the epic beard who started liking your pics and slid into your DMs—gone. The local celebrity your homegirl hooked you up with who talked a good game about wanting someone down to earth to build with—gone. The guy who wasn’t your type but was chasing you, his ugly ass wasn’t even loyal—gone! Then there was the situationship guy you tried to be exclusive but not official with—He Fell all the way back with no warning or excuse. You were going to fuck up the summer with this new attitude and hairstyle, but you did what you always do; date losers and put your eggs in the basket of lames who talked a good game. Now it’s time to snatch up the leftovers.

Bench Player Anthem

Suddenly that guy in the Friend Zone starts looking like Filet Mignon. You shouldn’t shit where you eat, but it is Cuffing Season and you’re too lazy to go hunting so you start sizing up your supposedly platonic male friend. Your “buddy” wasn’t on your radar during the summer months or when you had new dick blowing up your phone. Now that the well’s dried up, you start to look at him differently. He is kinda cute… he knows your ways, doesn’t mind your negatives… and he’s always there whenever you need him. The Friend Zone Guy could be single or he could be in some half-ass relationship with a girl you keep telling him isn’t shit. Regardless of his status, you are confident that you can have him because you know the only reason he’s your friend now, is because he was crushing on you back then. This is a guy who wanted you, but who you shot down and put in that platonic cage. Now you want to unlock that cage and give him a shot because you are alone. Men aren’t born yesterday, but they get infant dumb when pussy’s thrown in their face. The girl you call friend but have always wanted is calling you up to the main roster, not because she saw something in your eyes one night, but because she always saw you as “In Case of Emergency Dick.” Wintertime comes with a thirst to have her booty rubbed and a want to exchange gifts on Christmas Day. You exist to get her though this rough patch.

Fellas, stop thinking you’re smarter than these girls! Any woman who has the courage to flirt and seduce can get 99% of the men they go after, but they use that power on beta males like you because you don’t scare her, again, you’re the safe option. What’s a pawn to a Queen? Useful at times, but an afterthought in the bigger game. Women use men for attention all the time, B. Yet this time a year as summer rolls into fall it becomes deeper than texting because her phone’s dry. It becomes a lot more dangerous because some girls are actually down to get into a relationship in order to push away loneliness. It’s time to look at the circumstances surrounding her attraction to you, because the reason you may have her attention now, may be the result of you being her last available option.

The Nice Guy

Being nice to a woman isn’t the same as being right for a woman. There are countless men who nice their way into the panties and hearts of girls who were cold towards them at first. The reason being, her options when she met you have dried up, causing her to warm up to the idea of any man is better than no man. There is nothing wrong with being nice; this isn’t about holding doors open, it’s about a lack of excitement due to a man being overly accommodating. A lot of men are cool, but few are amazing, and since childhood, girls have been attracted to the sprinkles because vanilla is too boring. Nice guys get their shot under two circumstances; a woman’s been single too long or a woman’s rebounding from a bad boy that played her out. The last guy she fell for could turn her pussy on like a faucet with just a look. He knew how to talk to her aggressively and bring out the submissive side without trying. Women are easily dicknotized by attitude and swagger, and by the time they snap out, they realize they were acting just as basic as the ratchets they criticize. Never again, she promises herself. Animalistic passion made her stress and bomb dick made shorty play herself. At that moment, that frustrated woman realizes that she would rather be bored and stress free with a man she “kinda likes” than chase behind a man who doesn’t see her as special. Enter the Nice Guy.

The Nice Guy is that dude who tries too hard to be perfect, and remains consistent in his effort to win a woman over no matter how many times she curves him. He’s there to compliment you, he wants to come pick you up and take you out, and he wants to take it day by day and not force anything sexually unless you’re ready. These guys prove that “good men” do exist… BUT they’re dry as fuck. You don’t want to hear how beautiful you look for the fourth time. You get a “Miss You,” text and it makes you roll your eyes.

He’s trying to take you to the best restaurant in the city, yet you would rather sit at home and watch Netflix than waste hours talking about nothing with him. Everything this guy does annoys you, and you can’t figure out why. All your friends are telling you how lucky you are to have found someone that values you. God knows that the last guy only sent “Is you still up,” text and thought dating was sitting in a parked car eating fast food while talking about income inequality. The Nice Guy is giving you what you said you wanted from a man, but he doesn’t do it for you, there’s no electricity. He’s too nice, too soft, not authoritative, and his tricking comes too easy for you to even feel like you’re working a Ho Tactic mark. The Nice Guy never gets told, “Boy Bye, you’re corny.” In the back of your mind, you know that you may need him down the line to change a tire or to trick a birthday gift, so you keep him around. He gets his texts ignored, his calls sent to voicemail, and when he does get through, you’re always fake busy. That is until Cuffing Season.

You tried dating for passion and you ended up lowering your self-esteem, so why not give the Nice Guy a shot? Here’s where you fuck up, ladies. If your only attraction to a man is the fact that he’s attracted to you, then it will never work! Women are wired to feel excitement.  “How important is chemistry,” it’s all there is! If a woman doesn’t vibrate near the same level as a man, then it’s only a matter of time before her body starts craving someone more compatible. But you don’t hear me tho… By dating this Nice Guy, you’re trying to rewire yourself to like all the things that make your skin crawl, and if you are desperate enough, brainwashing will work for a period. You can end up falling for the Nice Guy, but it’s not a foundation built to last. Nice Guy will make it through Cuffing Season, you’ll enter a honeymoon stage where you forget that he’s not your type… but he won’t survive once those other men who weren’t checking for you begin to look your way again. You’ll think, “I can do better,” and you’ll feel guilty the first time, but that voice won’t go away. The Nice Guy never had your heart; therefore, it’s only a matter of time before a new man comes around flirting with you, energizing you, and causing you to fantasize about sitting on his face. A new man can’t take you from a boyfriend that never had you. You may have played the role, but you were never his woman, you let him fill a seat until better options arrived. These Nice Guys were always meant to be something to do, never someone to last.

The Desperate Option

Fellas: Are you a man or are you a simp? A man approaches women with confidence, control, and aggression. Meaning you stare into her eyes as if you’ve already deep dicked her soul and you spit truth, not game, that tattoos her brain. Don’t tell her how pretty she is, you tell her where you two are going that weekend. You don’t ask if you can have her number, you take her number as if she doesn’t have a choice. You don’t waste her time with chitchat; you cut the conversation short, pull her in for a hug, and whisper that she better pick up when you call. Dominant women are attracted to dominant men. Most of you can’t control an initial engagement like that because you don’t believe in yourselves. Men talk big behind a keyboard, but falter face to face. You sit there all meek, feeding her cheesy lines that she’s heard before. You list all the things you want to do for her, be to her, and how different she is from the next bitch… five minutes later her coochie has dried to the point where if the sun hit it, you could start a brush fire in her panties.

Bro, you’re a Kia; you’re trying hard to sell these extra features because you don’t believe in your brand. You should be a Mercedes, you don’t list your features, the luxury is evident. You may come away with a number, but again, it’s to service her boredom. She wants a text buddy and you take this as a sign that you’re in, but your ass is staying on the outside like a front porch. Go ahead and take her out, buy her gifts, text her good morning every day, and feel stupid when she pops up on social media talking about how she’s bored with no one to talk to. You don’t make women excited, you make them yawn, and that’s because you don’t know how to be yourself. You call girls hoes, because you don’t know how to crack the pretty pussy code. You can buy pussy, but you can’t buy personality. You can spoil princesses with toys, but it takes a King to satisfy a Queen. You’re doing the most because you know you can’t get a real woman without gimmicks. Don’t worry, there is a silver lining where simps finally inherit the earth, it’s called Cuffing Season.

A woman who had no time for you back in July will suddenly have time for you in October. She’s actually texting back, agreeing to go out, and laughing at your jokes. Lonely women allow men they don’t want to nice their way into pussy. The difference is between you and the savages that hit and quit is that you aren’t in it for the pussy, you actually want to build with her, make her your girlfriend, and do all the romantic things you believe a woman should experience. All men have romantic bones, but the difference between a smart man and a naïve one is that he discriminates. Did you stop to think why that girl who had no time for you is suddenly making time? Did you stop to think why suddenly she’s staying on the phone for hours instead of saying, “Let me call you right back?” I tell women to ask themselves, “What does a man like about me?” Most don’t know because they are too busy soaking up attention and ignoring the ulterior motive. He likes me because I’m cool as hell and different—yeah okay. Don’t be dense! Every man needs to ask the same question, “What does a woman like about me?”

It took her weeks to warm up to you, not because she didn’t trust you, not because she had a man, it was because you weren’t what she wanted. You still aren’t what she wants. What you are is the epitome of “Any attention is good attention when you aren’t getting any.” You’re the real life version of the lame that posts “I would marry you and raise your son,” on Draya’s Instagram page. You’re the creep that writes, “I’d pay to have her sit on my face,” under India Westbrook’s picture. You are the embodiment of the attention women usually laugh at, yet because you’re the only attention in town, you get a shot. Understand that she will never take you serious. The solution? Have self-respect!

What’s going to happen is you’re going to fall in love, start planning out a future with this woman, and all it’s going to take is a dude to slide in her DMs talking about “your boyfriend don’t got to know,” and with that one line, her vagina will get wetter for that stranger than it’s ever been for you. All it’s going to take is for some new dude at work to give her that look from across the room, and the next thing you know she’s imagining him when you’re on top of her. She’s not a hoe or a slut, she’s a woman that tried to dumb down her desires, and failed. Don’t blame her for leading you on; blame yourself for being the type of man that tried too hard to fit her foot in that glass slipper. If a girl doesn’t respond to you from the start, fuck her! Real men don’t placate, that’s simp etiquette.

The On Again Ex

Women love refurbished dick. They will sing you a song about how they’ve moved on, write an essay about how the new her is wiser than the old her… then pop up like, “We’re talking again, but I’m not taking it serious, just seeing how he acts.” These women think old dick is harmless just as an alcoholic thinks one beer won’t lead to relapse. People love to lie to themselves, but the fraudulence of going backwards because you aren’t strong enough to go forwards is the worst. An Ex-boyfriend who she swore off, blocked, and told all her friends that she was so happy to have gotten over, pops up during Cuffing Season and suddenly he’s a viable option again because her lazy ass doesn’t know how to meet new men.

The most common Settle Dick will always be the man she has a history with. Unlike the Nice Guy they have combustible chemistry. When it comes to sex, her sleep number won’t go up. And we all know that basics love to recycle dick as if they’re somehow saving their soul by giving pussy to someone that already hurt them. The irony is that a woman knows why an Ex is sniffing around, yet secretly jumps for joy, because she is starved for some kind of attention. Let’s list the emotions a weak bitch goes through after an Ex shows back up.

First, it’s Disgust: Can you believe he had a nerve to hit me up? He must think I’m stupid. He should have realized what he had before he messed it up. Followed by Curiosity: Do you think he’s serious? Why would he be reaching out now? Should I respond back? Finally, she gives into Defeat: I’m going to go meet up with him just to hear him out. We got a lot of things off our chest, and I realize that I wasn’t perfect either. We’re not together officially; it’s more like a probationary period. Rumble weak bitch Rumble!

Men are just as guilty of trying to breathe life into a dead relationship as women are, and it’s not just about wanting sex, you’re both lonely and stuck. You may not belong to each other but you carry this torch as if your souls are connected. We May Not Be Together But We’ll Always Be Linked. Save the fake deep quotes for Tumblr. You two aren’t soulmates; you’re just two lonely people who don’t know how to move on, so you re-imagine your failed relationship as some Cosmic Soap Opera. Young & the Textless, All in My Feelings, ass relationship. There isn’t anything destined about second chances, you end up back where you started by choice. Verbally you shut the door, but mentally you never took that option off the table when you broke up, so it isn’t a surprise that you ended up where you knew you could. There’s a classic film called The Graduate. The couple break up and the man goes through all of this drama to win his girl back before she gets married. The film ends with them finally reunited and sitting on a bus together with a joint look of, “what the fuck was the point?” You don’t really want each other, you want to recreate a magic that was never meant to be permanent, and most likely wasn’t even that fucking special in the way your revisionist mind made it out to be. Cuffing Season ends like The Graduate, all this drama, only to realize that you were chasing a feeling of companionship that would never live up to expectations.

Never Be A Settle Option!

I want every man to reflect on his current role in a woman’s life. Are you Man A, the trophy who she obsesses over, annoys, moves too fast with, and is always responsive to? Or Man C, the guy she settles for, who she has to let grow on her, and whose appeal is that you actually commit and give attention, when other guys give her the run around? You think you’re Man A or maybe you don’t mind being Man C because you are reaping the rewards. The point is that you need to figure out a woman’s agenda. The average man isn’t as emotionally hard as he acts, and the backlash of misplaced love will crumble his ass in ways he never imagined. Again, let’s go back to the fact that we as males don’t talk about feelings in a real way. We layer on armor and act as if we don’t care about women. We create labels that make them into objects, because we know that those that get close have too much power over our minds. Hoes win for a reason. Girls who don’t want you get chased for a reason. Unique women that snatch souls smell the best and taste the sweetest, because they project sex and power. You want that so bad, but that doesn’t mean you sell your soul for it.

There is nothing more harmful to a man than a woman who doesn’t want him. As a man, you need to understand your emotions and stop living life in a shell. You pretend to be her top choice, you pretend to be confident, but you’re scared to death that she’s going to reject you. Your money isn’t long enough. Your face isn’t cute enough. Your dick doesn’t make her cum. Your personality is so boring that she can’t even put her phone down to look you in your eye. False thoughts will eat at you until you actually start to believe that negativity! Be stronger than that.

Men don’t actually hate women, they hate not being good enough for the women they want the most. You are as good as you believe you are, so get your head back in the game. Stop running from your feelings and letting the right women walk while allowing the wrong women to get you open and ruin you! The same way women go insane trying to fix a man, men break down under pressure of not being able to make a woman content. It’s okay to feel lost, that doesn’t make you less of a man, but pretending like you’re cool does. Players usually start as nice guys; it was fear that drove them to see women as nothing but pussy because their heart couldn’t take being hurt again. Yes, women manipulate, and do it well, but it’s not about their offense, it’s about your lack of defense. Women will continue to settle for less, so long as less is an option. Stop coming at their necks and point the finger inward. Why are you a grown ass man allowing yourself to be used? Focus on yourself and stop thirsting to be a last resort for a damaged chick. This is the season where women who weren’t checking for you make time for you all of a sudden. You don’t need a woman on your team who couldn’t spot the greatness in you while other men were in her face. Always be first never be next.

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