Andrea Pflaumer's Blog, page 4

Bobbe Joy Dawson author of Raising Eyebrows

My guest today is celebrity make-up artist Bobbe Joy Dawson. She is the author of a new memoir entitled “Raising Eyebrows: Confessions of a Beverly Hills Makeup Artist.”

Bobbe began her career in the 1960s as a receptionist at the salon of a childhood friend, celebrity hair stylist Jon Peters. Throughout her more than 50 years in the business she has worked with many Hollywood legends and some of the world’s most highly respected fashion and beauty photographers.

Bobbe’s Fearless Trajectory

At every step of her career Bobbe jumped in with both feet, sometimes not knowing exactly how to do something, but always willing to try. In her early fifties, she developed an extremely popular line of cosmetics, often blending custom formulas for her customers and clients.

In our interview she shares some great personal stories, including many from the book, about her experiences with celebrity clients. The last chapter, one of my favorite parts, has checklists and illustrations demonstrating how to do a complete face of makeup, or a five-minute “one and done” look. I look forward having time to read the rest of the book!

Links From Our Interview

FYI – in the interview Bobbe mentions two products. On her website, the “Things I love” tab shows the face primer she recommends from Joe Blasco. The skin cream she spoke about is from Weleda, one of the companies that cares about safe ingredients. And it’s really inexpensive!

If you want to chat with Bobbe about any of your make up issues, click the “let’s chat” box on her “Beauty Chat” tab.

I hope you enjoy this video! HERE is the link.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care, Day 30: Celebrity Makeup Artist Bobbe Joy Dawson appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Melina Takvorian-Mishra Ph.D

One of the basic and most important parts of self-care is getting a good night’s sleep. Our sleep plays a critical role in so many areas of our well-being. It helps to maintain a healthy immune system and it regulates our metabolism. Good sleep is also important for our memory function and our ability to learn. In general, deep and restful sleep improves our ability to be happier and more agreeable.

That is why I am delighted to welcome my guest today, Dr. Melina Takvorian-Mishra. Melina discusses many principles and tools from the Ayurvedic body of knowledge, the ancient traditional system of medicine from India, to help us create balance in mind and body and help get a better night’s sleep.

Melina’s Ayurvedic Journey

Melina received her first Ayurvedic consultation from the Dalai Lama’s own personal Ayurvedic doctor, or “vaidya” in 1998 during a backpacking trip in Northern India. That year, back in the US, she met Vaidya Rama Kant Mishra and instantly knew that she had found her own Ayurvedic guru. She recognized him as “the greatest of living healers and teachers.”

In 2002, while completing her graduate work on trans-generational trauma, she began working with Vaidya Mishra on Ayurvedic remedies for healing the heart and mind, including transdermal “marma” point protocols. In 2003, together they founded two companies (www.chandika.com, www.svayurveda.com) for the development of Ayurvedic formulations and knowledge.

For 14 years, Melina traveled with Vaidya Mishra as he offered workshops and consultations across the USA, Canada, and Europe. Vaidya Mishra transitioned in 2017. But his  full range of Ayurvedic herbal formulations, as well as his knowledge and his courses are still available to a global audience.

What You Will Learn

In our interview Melina explains how good sleep is one of the three pillars of good health. She describes how the three different body types have unique qualities, each influenced by different elements in nature and in the cosmos. Those individual qualities are key to getting the sleep we each need.

She demonstrates the simple breathing technique mentioned in one of our earlier posts. It helps calm the mind and body before bedtime. And, she offers recommendations for a daily routine to enhance the quality of your sleep. Finally she gives recommendations for several safe herbs and tinctures that will improve your sleep.

Melina’s Recommendations

Here is a link to those teas, tinctures and transdermal creams she speaks about. (I encourage you to sign up for her newsletter where you can learn more about much of what she mentioned.)

And here’s the recipe for the evening yogurt dish she recommended:

4 TBSP yogurt

1 TSP honey (or more if you like)

2 pinches of fresh grated nutmeg

Mix by hand or in a small blender, then add 1/2 TSP clarified butter (“this is optional but will give even more support, plus it’s delicious!” )

I know you will enjoy this interview. It went longer than usual because she was giving just so much great information!

And Here is the link to our interview.

Sweet dreams!

.fusion-body .fusion-builder-column-0{width:100% !important;margin-top : 0px;margin-bottom : 0px;}.fusion-builder-column-0 > .fusion-column-wrapper {padding-top : 0px !important;padding-right : 0px !important;margin-right : 1.92%;padding-bottom : 0px !important;padding-left : 0px !important;margin-left : 1.92%;}@media only screen and (max-width:1024px) {.fusion-body .fusion-builder-column-0{width:100% !important;}.fusion-builder-column-0 > .fusion-column-wrapper {margin-right : 1.92%;margin-left : 1.92%;}}@media only screen and (max-width:640px) {.fusion-body .fusion-builder-column-0{width:100% !important;}.fusion-builder-column-0 > .fusion-column-wrapper {margin-right : 1.92%;margin-left : 1.92%;}}.fusion-body .fusion-builder-column-1{width:25% !important;margin-top : 0px;margin-bottom : 20px;}.fusion-builder-column-1 > .fusion-column-wrapper {padding-top : 0px !important;padding-right : 0px !important;margin-right : 7.68%;padding-bottom : 0px !important;padding-left : 0px !important;margin-left : 7.68%;}@media only screen and (max-width:1024px) {.fusion-body .fusion-builder-column-1{width:100% !important;}.fusion-builder-column-1 > .fusion-column-wrapper {margin-right : 1.92%;margin-left : 1.92%;}}@media only screen and (max-width:640px) {.fusion-body .fusion-builder-column-1{width:100% !important;}.fusion-builder-column-1 > .fusion-column-wrapper {margin-right : 1.92%;margin-left : 1.92%;}}.fusion-body .fusion-flex-container.fusion-builder-row-1{ padding-top : 0px;margin-top : 0px;padding-right : 0px;padding-bottom : 0px;margin-bottom : 0px;padding-left : 0px;}Andrea’s books and new video series: .fusion-body .fusion-flex-container.fusion-builder-row-5{ padding-top : 0px;margin-top : 0px;padding-right : 0px;padding-bottom : 0px;margin-bottom : 0px;padding-left : 0px;}

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 28, How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Denise Lampron The Art of Mindful Aging

My wonderful guest today is Denise Lampron, founder of The Art of Mindful Aging. Denise appeared on our blog a few years ago and we welcome her again because she addresses a critical area about self-care: self-care in our relationships.

The questions we covered included navigating the difference in people’s “rhythms” and learning styles, how to take care of yourself when you are responsible for care-taking another person (a parent or partner), the value of personal time and space in a relationship, and simply whether a relationship actually requires self-care.

Denise presents very practical and useful tips for maintaining a balanced and healthy relationship of any kind. (Yes, they work! I’ve implemented them.)

I don’t think there is anyone who won’t benefit from learning these strategies. You, your spouse, partner, family member, co-worker, friend, boss, and children will all benefit.

Here is the link that that interview.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care; Day 26, Self-Care and Relationships appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Photo by Alina Karpenko on Unsplash

We would be missing a very big piece of self-care if we didn’t cover detoxification. The subject touches on so many areas of our lives, not just our physical bodies. Of course getting rid of toxins in the body is crucial. The more toxic overload we have, the more susceptible we are to illness. But in today’s post we’ll be looking at ways to detoxify all parts of your life.

Of course, prevention is the first step to staying healthy. (This is why I personally use Beautycounter skin care and makeup. They are strongly committed to non-toxic beauty. And, they put their money where their mouth is. Beautycounter dedicates a portion of their profits to keeping up the pressure on Congress to ban toxic ingredients that are still available in beauty and skin care products in the US.)Diet for Detox

In the earlier posts we looked at the importance of staying hydrated. We also learned from Dr. Douillard’s great interview how breathing techniques contribute to gut health, organ health, and detoxification. But unless you have an ironclad digestive system, you’ll still be subject to many problems through what you eat. Some people swear by periodic water or juice fasts, but the harm or good depends on what your body can tolerate.

Generally, it’s better to look for organically grown produce, spices, grains, etc. Now, that doesn’t always ensure that you are going to get the most nutrition from those items. Sometimes, locally grown and extremely fresh produce that has not been sprayed with pesticides may actually have more nutritional content than for example, a wilted and sorry looking bunch of organically grown spinach. But simply introducing more fresh fruit and vegetables into your diet, rather than grabbing fast food or processed snacks, has cumulative beneficial effects. Fresh and freshly made food just has more life force than anything you’ll get from a can or box.Sweat It Out

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels

As little as 20 years ago it was thought that heavy metals and other harmful toxins are not eliminated with our sweat. But science is always changing and it was later discovered that the glycoproteins in sweat bind to some harmful bacteria, helping to flush them out of the body.

But now it has been shown that sweat also removes toxins. Many of them are the ones you will commonly find in makeup, personal care products, nail polish, and hair dye. They include several of the Environmental Working Group’s “toxic twelve”:  phthalates, formaldehyde, and BPA, as well as arsenic, cadmium, lead and mercury. Getting a good workout increases circulation of the blood and lymphatic fluid, pushing a lot of these toxins out of our cells.

Even a semi-vigorous walk or yoga class increases the heat in your body. When your body heats up your sweat glands release those toxins via the more than 2 million sweat glands that lie deep in layers of the skin. Getting some form of vigorous exercise every week is a habit that has many provable benefits. And if you have access to a sauna, and it’s not contra-indicated for you, that’s another effective way to detox through sweat.

 

Removing Toxins From Our Environment

Photo by Olena Shmahalo on Unsplash

You can’t easily change where you live or the toxins you might be exposed to in your community. But you can certainly clean up your home as much as possible. I mentioned water filtration systems in the earlier post about hydration. If your local water supply is particularly high in contaminants, a full-house filtration system is a good idea.

Also, many homes are loaded with volatile organic compounds from building materials. Henry Eckstein, a former aerospace electrical engineer who writes about this issue, describes how VOC’s – especially those in newer construction and carpeting – a well as visible and hidden molds can trigger numerous respiratory and other health problems. He also looks into what is called “dirty energy” generated by microsurge electrical pollution. This is an emerging field first investigated by UC Berkeley professor Dr. Martin Graham. Graham’s research spawned a number of devices designed to mitigate this  electrical pollution.Another common source of pollutants is found in the products we use to clean or “freshen” our homes and clothing. Air fresheners and fabric softeners are some of the more egregious ones, especially for anyone with respiratory problems. The Environmental Working Group describes many of the most harmful chemicals to watch out for and offers a list of safer alternatives.

Photo by Samet Kurtkus on Unsplash

Sorting Through it All 

If you think about it, many of this month’s self-care posts are about simplifying. If your mind is cluttered with thoughts, stop, take a break, go outside, focus your attention elsewhere. If what you wear doesn’t please you, recycle it and wear something that does. If your emotions are cluttered with regret or guilt, take action to amend your ways and then be done with it. Simplifying is an important part of self-care. It’s a form of detoxification.

So, simplifying our environment is a good place to start that doesn’t cost anything more than your time. When you’re surrounded with a lot of “stuff” it all tends to invade your subconscious mind. That’s because everything in our immediate environment, at some point, requires some attention, some regular maintenance. (Unless you’re one of those people who can just shut external influences out completely.)

Just as with our fashion choices, a lot of the things that we accumulate may fit a different time in our lives. Maybe they reflected who we were when our needs and interests were different. So simplifying might mean taking a good look at what you own and considering if you are realistically ever going to need or to use them again.

 

Tossing and Organizing

That doesn’t mean you should just go on a purging spree and toss “useless” things that have true sentimental value for you. And it doesn’t mean that you need to sell or give away valuable heirlooms immediately. It just means that if you have stashes of stuff that you simply threw in a drawer, put in a box, crammed into an album, or that are sitting in piles somewhere, it might be time to go through them and let some of them go. For the ones you keep you might make better use of them if they were put someplace where they actually would get used, someplace that makes sense logically.

Photo by Minh Pham on unsplash

Yes, it can be a daunting, exhausting process. And unless you are extremely energetic it’s likely a more long-term project, especially if it includes something as challenging as cleaning up your old emails and your computer hard drive. But just creating more simplicity in your life and surroundings can actually be energizing and empowering. It can bring peace to your mind and heart.

What You Gain by Letting It Go

One great advantage is that the things you actually need and use most frequently are at more hand. You don’t have to sort through piles of junk to find them. That just makes life a little less stressful. The fewer things around us, the more calm and peaceful we feel; the more room we have, not just physically but psychologically, to focus on what is important at any moment. The less we are distracted from what we might accomplish.

Photo by Oleg Magni on Pexels

Detoxing Your Life

The concept of simplicity can spill over into many areas of our lives. When you have gotten rid of things that weigh you down emotionally, psychologically, or physically, your life becomes more spacious. But what is even more valuable is that you become  sensitized to what might have complicated your life before. So when faced with the possibility for an event, or an engagement, or even a relationship – something that ordinarily you would just add to your schedule – you might find yourself more able to say “no” to what just doesn’t serve you anymore.

A digital”vacation” is also a useful form of detox. Turn off the TV. Unplug your devices. Get off of social media. That can relieve a lot of burdens. Cleaning, clearing, and simplifying is a gift, really. As the song goes, ’tis a gift to be simple.

Drawing by Sue Tait Porcaro

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 25, Detoxify appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Dr. John Douillard, founder, LifeSpa.com

I don’t know anyone lately who hasn’t been deeply concerned about their immune system. And, a lot of us are paying close attention to how our lungs are working! That’s why I am thrilled to welcome our guest today, Dr. John Douillard, to speak with us about the relationship between breathing and immunity.

John Douillard, DC, CAP, is a globally recognized leader in the fields of natural health, Ayurveda, and sports medicine. He is the creator of LifeSpa.com, the leading Ayurvedic health and wellness resource.

Eat Wheat by Dr. John Douillard

Among his seven books is the Amazon best-seller Eat Wheat which covers the importance of gut health for digestion and immunity. He has also developed seven on-line courses.

Because of his dedication to education about about preventative medicine and immunity, he has been invited to serve on numerous medical advisory boards and is now a visiting faculty member at several medical institutions. As you might guess, he’s also a highly sought-after speaker. (You may have seen him on the Dr. Oz TV show.)

I knew that Dr. Douillard would be a brilliant guest, but he delivered one thousand percent more than I could have asked for. (My audio not working well, but it didn’t matter because he was providing all the information.) I am not exaggerating when I say that just about everyone on planet earth would benefit greatly from watching this interview. PLEASE SHARE WITH PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT!

Here is the link to our YouTube interview.

If you want more information about Dr. Douillard’s approach to wellness I highly recommend that you sign up for his Lifepsa.com wellness newsletter. The newsletter and his Youtube Channel are just a cornucopia of terrific  information.

It’s a privilege to have him as a guest on Shopping for the Real You: 31 Days of Self Care series.

[I receive no compensation from LifeSpa.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 24, Breathing and the Immune System appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Photo by Vlad Bagasian
on Pexels

Life on our planet is sustained by the four elements: earth, air, fire, and water. And, in turn they sustain us. Even though we understand that any one of those elements can be destructive, (just about everybody has experienced an earthquake, a tornado, firestorm or a flood) we require them for health, balance and wholeness. One of the ways we can honor Mother Nature is to harness the gifts of earth elements for healing ourselves, physically and emotionally.

Our Earth Partner

Photo by Jan Krukov on Pexels

When we walk on the sand, the earth, or even barefoot on concrete that connects us with the Earth’s electrons. And it also puts us more in touch with our bodies. The reason for this is that it causes a shift from the sympathetic to the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic nervous system controls the “fight or flight” response; the parasympathetic controls the body’s ability to rest, relax and digest. It can be especially effective for people who spend a lot of time at a computer or dealing with technology.

The earth element also helps with the detoxification function in our beauty routines. Applying an exfoliating mud mask to the face or the body can pull toxins out of the pores and smooth the skin.

 

Taking to the Waters

Photo by Monstera on Pexels

Throughout history humans have used water as a healing agent, both for the mind and the body. As we sit in a warm bath our nervous system relaxes. And if we add the earth element – Epsom salts, sea salt, and or baking soda – it can also become an effective detoxification treatment for pain and muscle aches.

Jumping into a cool swimming pool or stream on a hot day is the energizing and stimulating. A dip in the ocean is also powerfully purifying. Many years ago a highly respected Ayurvedic doctor said that swimming in the ocean, even for a little while, was the equivalent of three weeks of in-house daily Ayurvedic medical treatments.

 

The Air We Breathe

Photo by Brooke agle on Unsplash

Nothing will sustain us if we don’t have oxygen. That’s why two years of wearing masks have been rather unsettling. If you’ve been cooped up in the house or wearing multiple face masks it’s very important to also go outside and get some fresh air. We breathe more deeply when we breathe fresh air. It causes our lungs to expel more toxins and brings more oxygen into our cells. In fact, there’s hardly a system in the body that doesn’t benefit from breathing deeply. It improves our blood pressure and heart rate, strengthens our immune system, and has even been shown to help us digest food more effectively.

Breathing fresh air has also been shown to stimulate the production of serotonin, one of the “happy hormones” that reduce anxiety and improve overall mental and emotional health. (Stay tuned for my wonderful interview with Dr. John Douillard about breathing and immunity coming up this week.)

 

 

 

Our Sun, the Great Illuminator

Photo by artawkrm on Unsplash

Speaking of serotonin, getting enough sunlight is another way to tackle depression and low energy. How many times have you cheered up when the sun came out after a few weeks of gloomy skies? As for its other curative properties it strengthens and supports the immune system by helping the body synthesize vitamin D. Over the past couple of years we’ve all learned how important vitamin D is for immunity. In vitamin D is also crucial for bone health.

Higher levels of vitamin D have been linked with everything from reduced cases of multiple sclerosis to fewer cognitive illnesses like Alzheimer’s disease. Sunlight is also instrumental in healthy cardiovascular function. When sunlight hits the skin nitric oxide is released. Nitric oxide, along with serotonin, can bring down blood pressure and reduce the risk of stroke. And, sunlight will also kill bacteria. If you’re down to your last facemask, place it outside in the sunshine for a few hours.

 

Partnering with Mother Nature for Emotional Healing

 

Photo by Jill Wellington
on Pexels

But even without knowing these facts we all tend to employ nature to heal us. When we listen to the gentle rhythm of the waves at the shore it synchronizes our breathing to something greater, something that requires no effort from our side. Watching a gentle snowfall blanket and soften all the hard edges around us creates sense of serenity and peace. Sitting on a deck chair outside with our eyes closed, feeling the warmth of the sun on our skin removes us from the drama and intensity of the day. And of course, seeing the first delicate spring buds on an apple tree or the emerging bright green leaves on a maple tree remind us that life goes on, year after year.

Photo by Neonbrand on Unsplash

In the days and weeks following 9/11 I found myself visiting our local nursery multiple times. I bought flowers, vegetable starts, herbs, new pots, soil. It was my way of affirming life and reinforcing the idea that life would continue. It was my way of coping by creating something to look forward to. I saw a lot of people doing exactly the same thing, likely for the same reasons.

When things are shattered around us we do need to grieve, of course. But then we need to re-affirm life. Seeing nature, being in it, and letting it heal us is a powerful form self-care.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

 

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 20, Healing With Nature appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Photo by Maria deLorenzo on Unsplash

Since we’re talking about self-care I have to explain why I’m not including a post about eating well. It’s simply because 1) everyone has different dietary requirements, and 2) By now just about every human on the planet has been made well aware of the need to eat a healthful diet.

But there’s one bit of health advice I must share. It’s the importance of staying hydrated. This was something that my former doctor drove home on one our last visits. After taking my pulse (she was also a doctor of Chinese Medicine – sadly she retired) she said, “You are dehydrated. You have to start drinking more water.” But in the middle of filling out some recommendations for me, she took a long drink from the bottle of filtered water that she always kept on her desk.

Sometimes we just need a visual reminder. I never forgot that image, and it is a constant inspiration and reinforcement.

 

Why We Need Water

In my interview this month Suzanne Blons she spoke of the importance of staying hydrated in order to have healthy skin. But the benefits are way beyond skin-deep. We can last up to six weeks without food. We can’t last more than about a week without water. Every organ in our body depends on it.

Water is the main component of our blood. Our blood carries nutrients to and removes toxins and waste from our cells. Adequate hydration also helps prevent the blood from getting thick and agglutinating. It lubricates our joints and provides cushioning for our organs. And, it helps keep us regular so that we don’t tend to accumulate toxins in our bodies.

 

How to Tell if You Are Dehydrated

Photo by Andres Ayrton on Pexels

If you’ve ever felt kind of loopy after an intense workout, especially on a hot day, it’s highly likely that your cells were crying out for water. Even by losing 2% of your body’s water content you can start to feel dehydrated.

Sometimes what we think of as food cravings or low blood sugar can actually be the body’s signals that we just need to drink more water. Also, for a lot of people, headaches or even migraines are another symptom. In fact, that’s one of the most common symptoms of dehydration. In one study of 393 subjects, 40% of the participants had headaches as a result of dehydration.

 

When Should We Drink?

Everything I’ve read seems to confirm that drinking a couple of 8 ounce glasses of water first thing in the morning is a good idea. And most of the sites I checked out encourage people to drink a glass of water before a meal as it keeps you from over eating. Although many nutritionists and doctors also suggest drinking during or after a meal, the American habit of drinking ice water with a meal is just a way to trash the digestive “fire” you need to break down and absorb nutrients, especially during the cooler months.

A lot of people advise to drink a glass of water before bedtime. My colleague, Susan Street, says she never drinks fluids after 6 pm because she doesn’t want to keep having to get up in the middle of the night. I SO get that! So it’s your call about this one.

 

How Much Water Do We Need to Drink?

Photo by Eva Elijas on Pexels

I tend to look skeptically at one-size-fits-all advice for anything (including fashion.) As with everything dietary, balance and common sense should prevail. Drinking more than 1 liter an hour isn’t a great idea. That can strip the body of necessary salt and put pressure on your kidneys and heart. Here’s what the Mayo Clinic advises:

“The formula…of eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day (has) changed. In general, you should try to drink between half an ounce and an ounce of water for each pound you weigh, every day.” For example, if you weigh 150 pounds, that would be 75 to 150 ounces of water a day. If you’re living in a hot climate and exercising a lot, you’d be on the higher end of that range; if you’re in a cooler climate and mostly sedentary, you’d need less.”

 

What Type of Water Should We Drink?

Photo by Bluewater Sweden on Unsplash

As for what kind of water we should drink that also seems to depend on a few variables. Mineral water is great if you tend to be constipated. Spring water can help meet your requirement for essential nutrients like magnesium and calcium. I either drink safe and purified bottled water (my personal favorite is Fiji) or the tap water from the filter in our home. (Ours was developed by NASA. It uses a 3-stage convention filter with a ceramic bacteria filter, a fluorine removal filter and an activated charcoal and silver final stage.)

We use filtered water because tap water usually contains a lot of toxins, depending on where you live. One of the most damaging toxins that is finally being looked at is the shocking amount of micro plastics that are in our worldwide water supply. They can migrate to every cell in your body and contribute to cancers and organ damage.

The US Environmental Working Group has a page where you can type in your zip code and find out what’s in your local water. In the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand it appears that they test for only some of the most obvious and egregious toxins. That’s why, especially when I travel, I avoid tap water as much as possible.

Photo by cotonbro on Pexels

But as for other sources of water, you can count things like lemonade, tea, coffee, juices, soups, etc. toward your daily intake. In fact about 20% of our fluid intake comes from the food we eat. But because of water supply toxicity, it’s a good idea to look for organic food produced with purified water…if you can find it!

So stay hydrated. It’s an important part of self-care.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 19, Stay Hydrated! appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Photo by Paige Cody on Unsplash

I’m sure there must be one woman out there who doesn’t, at least periodically, compare herself to other women unfavorably, but I haven’t found her yet. The fact is that we are constantly bombarded by advertising and media images that cause us to weigh ourselves against some external standard of what is considered beautiful. It’s not a healthy habit. So I want to encourage you to take a moment to find something about yourself that you consider beautiful.

Is it Superficial?

Now, there’s probably a fine line between appreciating a part of our body or features and fostering a sense of narcissism. But considering how often I hear women degrading themselves, I think the risk is minimal.

Confucius said: “Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it.” Often the person who sees it last is you. So making the effort to see beauty in yourself can actually make you less narcissistic. Psychologists say that true narcissists are deeply insecure. When you are able to appreciate something about yourself you build inner confidence. You become more emotionally secure. You don’t feel desperate or anxious, or feel that you have to prove something every time you step our the door, enter a zoom meeting, or meet new people.

What is Beauty?

Dame Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey

When we think about the “beautiful” people we have tendency to look to celebrities. That’s likely because they are so much a part of what we see in print advertising and the media. They often have symmetrical faces. In fact, the often have similar faces and similar bone structure. Swap out eye color or hair texture and they often look alike. Since I celebrate the differences in each of us I find all that symmetry and similarity a tad – what – unexciting?

Some of the women I consider to be beautiful have a feature that is less than “perfect.” For example, British Actress Emma Thompson has what in the US are considered “imperfect teeth.” Tina Fey has a long scar near her chin. Angelica Huston has exaggeratedly high eyebrows, and never had a nose job. Maggie Smith proudly displays all her wrinkles and we adore her for it.

Where to Look for It

Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

So, besides the typical parts we tend to focus on, like eyes, mouth, hair, hair color, or body, what might be some things you just didn’t think of that might contribute to your beauty? Maybe you will start to notice and appreciate the delicacy of your hands, or the way you use them when you speak. Someone may have told you that the timbre and quality of your voice is appealing.  Possibly the way you walk, your gait, suggests a person who is confident, or energized or joyful. Or maybe you have a delightful – or lusty – laugh!

Once you identify that quality or that feature, build on it. Can you think of anything else about yourself that you rather like or that you have been told is attractive? And then, notice your imperfections and consider that there could be something rather charming about them. Recognizing them and not hiding them is very disarming to people. It’s often the very thing that makes you very appealing.

Expression Is Everything

I was recently discussing aging with a dear friend over FaceTime who is also in her 70s. We both agreed that animation in a face is what makes a person beautiful. Now, some people may have more of a sense of repose in their expression and others may appear more animated. (High Spirited types typically have a lot of mobility in their faces.)

But regardless of the specific ways that they speak or dress or act, what ultimately comes through is their life force. And the most powerful type of life force is love. When my mother was in her 90’s her grandson and his wife brought their toddler to see her at the skilled nursing facility where she resided. She was so overjoyed that she wept. She had wrinkles, was mostly bedridden, wore no makeup, and had probably worn the same clothes that she slept in, maybe for days. But that child saw love. He understood that what she expressed was love.

When we engage with others lovingly we become beautiful in their eyes.

Stay beautiful…because you are.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 18, Find Something Beautiful in Yourself appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Photo by Manasvita on Unsplash

The phrase “finding meaning and purpose” comes up pretty consistently when psychologists talk about things that promote longevity and overall happiness. If we want to be inspired about life we need to feel like there is some meaning and purpose to it.

Inspiration can take many different forms and come from many different sources. Sometimes we have to just get out of our rut to see it. (That’s why I posted on Day 14 “Go Somewhere.” The act of changing your environment helps to be re-inspired about life and the world again.)

Getting Inspired By Others

So where can you find inspiration when your enthusiasm is flagging? One way is to find someone who knows how to do something you think is kind of “cool.” If you watch a person who enjoys what they are doing alone that might inspire you to try it yourself. Or, it can re-kindle enthusiasm about something you tried in the past. Maybe once upon a time you sketched, played an instrument, knit, wrote a journal, took up weightlifting, swimming, tried learning a new language, etc. Maybe it’s time to revisit those things.

Photo by Anthony Shkraba on Pexels

Another way to get inspired is to help someone else learn how to do something. That could include anything from mentoring a young person in a skill you have, helping a person who is going through a difficult patch that you have been through, or even helping a friend set up their wi-fi system. In my experience, teaching or sharing with clients and then watching as they “own” that knowledge is one of the most fulfilling things I can imagine. That’s also why I love interviewing experts. What I learn eventually gets incorporated into my own basket of knowledge to share.

Learning new things is a very tangible way to stay inspired. And it also adds your self-confidence bank.

Write It Down

How else can you find inspiration? Keeping a journal is a great and very enlightening way. Two of my favorite books, Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way, and the Right to Write enabled me to change career directions in my 50s. Cameron describes what she calls “morning pages” – writing your thoughts down in stream-of-consciousness form, without premeditation or censoring. That daily practice of just letting it all spill out on the page inspired me to do things I had never tried before. One of those things was writing. And I landed a regular editorial spot in a local magazine by doing so.

Photo by Karolina Grobowska on Pexels

But when it came to trying a bigger project, my first book, I needed a formula to frame that work. So years ago a friend, Hank Olguin, taught me a terrific method for starting a new project. It utilizes a similar process. Whenever he had to inspire the staff at this public relations firm he took out a white board, gathered everyone together, and had them throw out their ideas and suggestions about how to do the project. Nobody was allowed to comment or say, “that idea sucks.” He wrote every comment on a sticky note and pasted it on the white board. Then the group looked for something valuable in every idea, and then put the ideas in a workable order.

These processes of throwing ideas out and then ordering them engage both the right and left brain. Often, when we feel overwhelmed or uninspired, it’s because one side of our brain has taken over. We need both creativity and an orderly process to bring things to fruition.

Inspiring Material

One of my favorite things to do is to read a little bit from an inspirational book right before I go to bed. It seems to disengage me from the day’s responsibilities, concerns, and pressures. It also sets me up for more peaceful sleep. Sometimes I just open to any page and something jumps out that speaks to an issue I had been thinking about. A lot of people have told me they have had this same experience.

Inspirational reading material can be spiritual or mundane, religious, or funny. And you can also find a lot of inspiration from podcasts, YouTube videos, or films. As for books, in addition to religious texts and spiritual books, I asked my readers for some that they would recommend. Here are just a few. (I would love to know of any you have found inspiring.)

Walking in wonder: Eternal Wisdom for a Modern World by John O’Donohue The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle Tales of a Female Nomad by Rita Golden Gelman Hidden Solutions All Around You: Why Some People Can See Them and Some Can’t by Dan CastroAnd this one is for anyone who is embarking on a new creative project. It’s just delightful, inspiring and full of great little gems: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon

I think we could all use a little more inspiration these days.

 

 

[As an Amazon Associate I may earn a small referral fee if you purchase anything from any of these links.]

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care: Day 16, Be Inspired appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

In Chapter 10 of my book, Shopping for the Real You, I wrote about closet clearing. That advice still stands. Today I want to approach the subject from a different perspective. Since detoxification is a big part of self-care let’s consider some new ways to “detoxify” your wardrobe.

This is a good practice to do periodically for several reasons. An over-stuffed closet makes it very difficult to actually see what you own. Also, if you hang any wool or cashmere items in there they will become a more favorable secret breeding ground for moths. And, items that tend to wrinkle need space to hang without being squished together. So let’s look at how to detoxify your closet to get the most mileage out of your clothes.

Does This Suit My Current Age and Lifestyle

Photo by Ron Lach on Pexels

You may have heard from a life coach or read in a self-help book that you should dress for the life you want to live. Or, you may have heard that you should dress for how you want to live five years from now. Those experiments can be fun. But life changes, and we change, and what may have been a priority, or a dream, or a goal five years ago may have nothing to do with who you are now and what your priorities and goals are now.

I think a better way to approach this is to look at the things in your closet and assess whether they reflect how you want to be perceived now, at this stage in your life, at this age of your life. One of the things that color and style analyst Hella Tsaconas advises in order to determine if some article of clothing or an an entire outfit works is to ask: “Where am I going and how to I want to be seen?” That’s often a more successful way to determine whether you should keep or toss an item of clothing.

How Happy Do I feel When I wear This?

When you spend months and months wearing sweats or just not getting dressed up much at all you can tend to lose enthusiasm for the joy of fashion. I think that’s a shame. There is nothing wrong with getting joy out of material things. But they should elevate us in some way, either aesthetically, or psychologically. What we wear should make us feel happier, healthier, more beautiful, more engaged, more current and more alive. That’s the purpose and the value of fashion.

And don’t think that if you love something you can’t wear it on repeat. When you have a beautiful garment that is  flattering to your coloring and your personal style, every single time you wear it you will feel uplifted. I always encourage clients to buy the best they can afford. But that does not mean you have to wear expensive clothes. One of the most fashionable dressers I knew was an Italian woman who always looked like she had just stepped out of Bergdorf’s. She actually did a lot of her shopping at Target. And she always looked joyful in everything she wore no matter how many times she wore it.

So if you are harboring things in your closet that don’t make you happy, it’s wise to give them away.

How Comfortable Am I in This?

Photo by Mohammad Metri on Unsplash

This one should go without saying, but I have heard too many women say that you have to suffer for beauty. I think after a certain age we realize that’s nonsense. The idea of comfort should be applied to everything you wear or carry. (As for the latter, a beautiful but heavy bag won’t likely get used as much). My sister had a gorgeous pair of embroidered heels that she wore to an awards event. They sat on a pedestal in her closet for a long time, just glorifying the space. But at some point she let them go. She knew she would never wear them again. It was not a hard decision.

Additionally, if you have put on some weight, or lost a lot of weight, evaluate how comfortable you feel wearing things that you used to wear. Our clothing shouldn’t own us or make us feel uncomfortable. If anything you wear does, ask yourself how happy you really feel wearing it.

I hope these tips give you something practical to go on. Sure, you can use the standards of ditching things that are worn out or no longer in fashion. But if you apply these three ideas to your keep-or-toss decisions you can’t go wrong.

 

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post 31 Days of Self-Care Day 13: Detoxify Your Wardrobe appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.