Andrea Pflaumer's Blog, page 9

As someone who encourages people to wear their true colors – and I mean, lots of them – I’m taking a step back today to offer some long overdue praise for the unsung heroes of our wardrobes: the neutrals. These are often the backbone of any wardrobe and can offer a great deal of elegance in their own right. Generally, what they convey is sophistication.

When we think of neutrals we usually think of black, white, brown, tan, navy, and gray. Those are, of course, what you’ll likely find on the racks. But a more complete color palette has an interesting and extensive range of what are considered neutral colors. Let’s look at a few examples.

For example, in some color palettes, burgundies and dark plums read as neutral. Their complexity and depth of color add a bit of drama. And Vanessa Redgrave’s luxe taupe-y green outfit here (right) demonstrates the richness of monochromatic neutral combinations. Choosing different pieces in the same color family but with varying textiles adds real sophistication.

But lighter neutrals are every bit as sophisticated as the darker ones, whether worn in combination with other light neutrals or entirely in monochromatic outfits. As long as we’re myth-busting, the idea that white or light gray is strictly for summer attire is just no longer true, as proven here.

Sometimes navy is a more flexible dark neutral than black. It’s less severe and seems more approachable, especially when you add a great colored accessory with it. But let’s not ignore black. There was a time when wearing dark colors together was a no-no. That was likely because they were considered somber. But there is nothing somber about either of these two black-and-blue combinations (below.)

And since olive green is my personal “black” I thought I’d include one selfie to demonstrate how I wear my darker neutrals. In this case, I added my “where’s Waldo” shirt to make the combo a little more fun. As someone with a lot of the High Spirited style essence I needed to take it all up a notch from being overly Natural.

So, enjoy your neutrals. It’s hard to go wrong with them.

Note:

I was inspired to write this post after a lovely visit to the home studio of Personal Style Counselors’ new West Coast rep, Hella Tsaconas, where she showed me some pretty spectacular neutral colored outfits from Vogue and Bazaar. Hella is now doing color and style analysis in Berkeley.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post How to Wear Neutrals appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

If you’ve been following the fashion week shows recently you might come to the conclusion that a lot of  designers have lost their minds. I don’t know if the “street style” influencers swayed them or vice versa. I just know that they have collectively engaged in fashion murder/suicide.

In a similar way to how the music and film industry experienced a populist revolt (creating in their garages and streaming over the internet) professional fashionistas (who were paid to wear this stuff) took fashion out of the hands of design houses and magazine editors and claimed it for themselves as “street style” …for better or worse. Now, it seems, for worse. That was the beginning of the end and I, for one say, good riddance.

As little as three years ago you could look to popular blogs and Instagram feeds to find some interesting style ideas to post on Pinterest, to emulate or at least consider wearing. These were from creatively dressed people who “just happened” to be walking down the street near a great photographer. The idea of this come-one-come-all street style fashion exploded. Then came the clown car. In order to be seen or heard among all the visual noise, these budding bloggers had to practically scream, “Hey! Look at me!” by creating truly ugly combinations of ridiculous outfits and, like lemmings, the designers followed suit.

Don’t misunderstand: I am not against democratizing fashion; heaven knows we need more it. There still aren’t enough images of every kind of human represented in fashion.  But democracy doesn’t mean that anything goes. Nor does it mean we need to turn ourselves in uniform-wearing minimalists. But it especially doesn’t mean that we can throw out the principles of style, proportion, color harmony and good taste. Nature is beautiful and tasteful. We are part of nature. That should be the guiding principle for fashion, whether in couture or ready-to-wear.

Consider this ad from one of my favorite sites, Everlane. I love the brand because they make good quality clothing at reasonable prices, they pay and treat their workers well, and they are responsive to their customers. But they just posted this ad: “The Jean That Makes Everyone Look Taller.” Now THAT’s an example of the triumph of hype over common sense. You can bet that come this spring a lot of young women are going to start wearing high waist flare capris with heeled booties and think they look taller. Uh, no. Sorry to tell you ladies, but that just is wrong. Here is why. This girl has a short waist and a long rise. Wearing high waist capris, especially flared bottom, visually shortens her torso even more and truncates her lower legs. Adding ankle boots that leave a space between the hem and the top of the boot draw the eye to the hem of the pants and make the lower legs look out of proportion to the upper. So, no, they do not make her look taller. They make her look like her pants shrunk in the dryer.

And this one just looks like she ordered pants a size too large and too short. (BTW – if you have curves or hips at all, NEVER wear reverse pleat pants. They will make your hips look even larger.)

This week we lost one of the icons of fashion, Hubert de Givenchy. He clothed some of the most elegant women of the 20th century, including Jackie Kennedy, Princess Grace of Monaco, Lauren Bacall and of course, Audrey Hepburn.  All you need to do is take a look at a few of the pieces he designed to get a clue about what balance, proportion, scale – and good taste – look like. And you don’t need to wear couture or even pay couture prices to get those in ready to wear. You just need some common sense.

Here’s a simple guideline. If you try something on and any part of you thinks “I look ridiculous” you probably do. You’ll see it in your facial expression and feel it in your gut. I always tell my readers to follow the rule of three: Train your eye, trust your gut, don’t obsess…and don’t listen to marketers trying to unload ugly clothes.

Keepin’ it real, here’s to the Real You.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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A recent episode of “Bonkers Closets” featured a socialite who revealed her fingerprint lock-protected 700 square-foot closet. It contained: 300 pairs of shoes, the largest collection of Hermes Birkin Bags in the world, (200 of them, ranging from $15,000 to $200,000 each) rows and rows of pull-out glass “files” with all her clothes, each one coded with a sample on the front hinting at what was behind (it creepily reminded me of a vault at a mausoleum) and dozens of ball gowns, furs, and wedding dresses (“I don’t like marriage, I just like wedding dresses. I wore one for my birthday” she chuckled.) She looks like she’s about 20, but, I learned, is actually 44. The $14,000 a month she spends on facials and beauty treatments is apparently working.

Now, I’d be the last person on earth to deny someone the joy of wearing what they love and looking beautiful doing it. But this woman had a meltdown when the blogosphere came down on her for what they saw as excesses; “they don’t know how hard it has been…” No we don’t, and that’s the point.

Stephanie Trong of InStyle

Stephanie Trong, one of the fashion editors at InStyle, wrote a brilliant and honest piece about the subject. She put it all on the table: “For me, I use clothes to cover up insecurities and make up for what I perceive to be personality flaws.”

Now, although I write about fashion I recoil at the concept that there is something that needs fixing, that there is something fundamentally flawed about us and that just getting the right outfit, the designer handbag, or the perfect lipstick will make it all better. I see posts from friends on Facebook who bounce around from one color analyst to another, one stylist to another, hoping to find the exact right formula so that they will finally “find” themselves…and be perfect…for the rest of their lives.

Ladies: it’s not going to happen.

Here’s what I think: fashion should be an affirmation of life, not a panacea against pain. Too many people use it as a panacea. I am about to turn 70 this month and have been thinking about this a lot. I’ve been asking myself where we draw the line between affirming life through how we present ourselves to the world and engaging in what might be self-destructive behavior.

Me!

So, recently I made a decision to do something I had been considering for a while. I  stopped coloring my hair. I got tired of having toxic chemicals poured on my head every six weeks and paying someone to do it. And guess what! I LOVE my gray hair. It’s mostly gray around my temples, but it adds a kind of I je ne sais quoi. I even love my wrinkles. (My sagging “marionette lines” not so much…but so it is.) And John Kitchener was right: my best clothing colors do not change now that my hair has turned to what he calls the “opposite end of the color wheel” from what it was.

So now my main goal is to make sure that when I buy something it supports my sense of well-being. It has to be affordable. I have to actually need it and not just want it. I must be able to wear it repeatedly. It has to go with what I already have. And it definitely better not make me look like I’m trying to be 40 anymore.

Here’s to the Real…us!

BTW – for my 70th birthday I’m offering 70% off my video series, Vital, Vivacious and Visible after 50.  From now through March 31, it’s only $18. I met wonderful people through this series who shared valuable information about fashion, style, beauty, lifestyle, friendship, travel, keeping our memory (important!), preserving our family history, safe cosmetics and skincare products, etc. If you haven’t already seen it I think you will enjoy it. If you don’t, you get your money back. Honestly. All the videos are also available as audio podcasts. Here’s the link: http://vitalvivaciousandvisibleafter50.com/

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post Fashion: Escape or Affirmation? appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

About three weeks ago I got invited to participate in special event at Saks Fifth Avenue called “Ageless Beauty.” A panel of four of us women of different age groups (I would be representing the baby boomers, of course) were invited to give reviews of nine beauty and skin care products. I was a little bit wary but it sounded like fun so I said, “yes.”

A week later a courier delivered a beautiful Saks box filled with very expensive, high end products. It was like Christmas in February. But the first thing I did was pull out all the ingredient lists and get onto the environmental working group’s Skin Deep website. One by one I typed in all those multisyllabic chemical ingredients. Skin Deep rates their toxicity on a scale of 1 to 10 based on research: 1-3 is no big threat, 4 to 6 is “pay attention,” and 7 to 10 is fahgetaboutit…

To my great surprise the majority of ingredients in just about every one of these products scored a “1.”  Now, since each product contained dozens of ingredients that could mean that over time, even in small amounts, they could become toxic. And if you use multiple products with synthetics you are multiplying your exposure to chemicals. These harmful effects will vary from person to person. (I have a genetic mutation that makes it difficult for me to eliminate toxins so I am extremely wary about what I put on my skin.) And I also know that some “natural” ingredients can be toxic allergens to some people too.

However, since I committed to be on the panel I felt honor bound to at least try the products. I had to admit that a lot of them really work well. My skin texture did improve. But here’s the deal: Many included perfume. It’s one of the most toxic and ubiquitous ingredients in personal care products. It’s often listed as “parfum” (as if saying it in French makes it less egregious.) Unless from an entirely natural organic source, these fragrances are often derived from petrochemicals. They can contain phthalates, benzene derivatives, aldehydes, and other substances that are known hormone disruptors, allergens, and can cause everything from cancer to birth defects. A lot of them are on the EPA’s hazardous waste list. What to do? Well I simply didn’t use the ones that had a lot of perfume. In one product it was listed as the very last ingredient, so in a small amount, but I wondered why they needed it at all.

Another product was a neck lifting cream (I had some hopes for that one) but one of the active ingredients was oxybenzone, a chemical sunscreen, which scores 8 on Skin Deep site. It also contains two parabens. In a 2004 study from the Journal of Applied Toxicology 18 out of 20 breast tumors showed high concentrations of parabens, known estrogen mimickers in the body.

So, I arrived at the panel discussion conflicted. I liked all the people involved and I know that everyone is just trying to make a buck. (Retail, especially high end retail, is in the toilet right now.) But I had to be true to myself. I made my concerns known ahead of time, so they said they wouldn’t ask me about the worst offenders. My silence, when those products came up in the panel discussion, spoke volumes…especially when it came to the neck cream. (Really, why would a millennial gush over a neck cream?) But after the event, at the “mingle,” I told some women my concerns.

So, although Saks holds these events every few months, I think that was my last hurrah. I’m now trying out some non-toxic products. I’ll report back after I use them for a while. In the meantime, here’s to the real, NATURAL you.

BTW – I’ve been asked to be a guest on two new video summits. The first one is about finding a perfect mate. I don’t know why they keep asking me to do these kinds of things as I’ve been happily married for 25 years (next month) but the hostess, Mariana Badra is delightful. I’ll be sending out another email about it and you can just ignore it or pass it along to someone who could use it.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post Guess I won’t be invited THERE again… appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Hi everyone. I just got invited to participate in a website called Ask Me Anything (www.amafeed.com) It’s a cute site that invites people to post a topic and then be available to members who write in questions.

Next week they are hosting a week of fashion discussions and my AMA about fashion will start on Monday, February 26th at 11:00 PST. (This photo what they asked me to create to prove I am a human and not a bot.)

Sooooo – check it out, and feel free to Ask Me Anything (about fashion…I’m NOT going to tell you the meaning of life…although I could say something about that!)

See you in cyberspace!

Andrea’s books and new video series:

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After decades teaching Transcendental Meditation, just for fun I volunteered to write a short article for some friends to publicize their new pet supply store. I sent it off to our local newspaper and to my great surprise, they published it. And to my greater surprise, the editors asked me to write another piece: a 400 word article…about lingerie. When it was published, one of my friends commented, “…but I thought you were a spiritual person!”

Well, even spiritual people need underwear.

The thing about what goes on under our clothes is that it has an impact on how we feel about ourselves and how we move. We feel sexier and more confident knowing at least part of our outfit works. And, they do make everything we wear over them look better.

But here’s the deal: they MUST be comfortable. For five years now I’ve listened to you, my dear readers, and here’s what you’ve told me: you want comfort. A$200 pair of bra and panties that make you feel like you’ve been wrapped by a boa constrictor, or with lace or seaming that itches or digs into your skin is not sexy. So, comfort first and foremost. But you also told me you want things that are affordable and you prefer natural fibers. That’s a tall order for underwear. Almost all of it has some synthetic material, by necessity. And the lower end ones don’t hold up as well. But I have a couple of options that I have personally tried and can recommend that check many – if not all – of the boxes.

A Great Underwire

I’ve always hated underwire bras. Poorly made ones cut off your lymph nodes and circulation. But, frankly, they just make your clothes look better if you’re larger than a 32C. So after years of searching I found one that I like. Actually, I love it. Actually, sometimes I even forget I am wearing it, which says a lot, since I am the Princess and the Pea when it comes to clothing comfort.

The brand is called Third Love and was started by an MIT grad who searched, unsuccessfully, for a great, comfortable bra, so she designed her own. Here’s why these bras, and the company, work: 1) they have a great quiz that shows multiple kinds of breast shapes and then match you to a bra that works best for yours;  2) they have half cup sizes!!! Yes! If you’re a 34 D 1/2, and not a 34 DD, they have your size! What a concept! 3) they give you a 30 day trial period before ever charging your card, so if the item doesn’t work, you can send it back before the charge appears on your account. That’s customer service; 4) they use real women in their Facebook ads – lumps and bumps and all.

Now, at $68 these are not super cheap, but they really hold up well. They look very natural under clothing, and come in multi-ethnic skin colors as well as some pretty fashion shades too. The most popular style is their t-shirt bra, which is what I bought. But they have some lacy things, a strapless, some nursing bras, and a wireless, seamless “lounging” bra that I might try just because it looks pretty cool. Here is my link for Third Love. You get $15 off if you order two and $15 off your second order.

Guy’s wear t-shirts, so we wear…

Camisoles. I wear them without a bra when I’m lazing around the house. But what I do wear, very frequently is shelf bra tank tops.

About ten years ago JJill had them in the most wonderful colors and, they were really well made. For some reason they just stopped making them. Probably there weren’t enough people like me who ordered one in every color. It was a sad turn of events. I have searched high and low for any that could compare, but to no avail. Express still makes them but some are so tight around the chest band that I often find myself ripping them off when I get home.

And then…along came PACT. Not only do they make extremely well-made tank tops in colors (mostly neutrals – black, gray, tan, navy, white, pink, blue, red, and a couple of patterns) but their clothing is all made from (drumroll) ORGANIC cotton!! They have adjustable straps, are long enough to fit under blouses and sweaters or tuck into skirts or jeans, and are extremely comfortable. I am once again in tank top heaven. They are $18 each, which is about on par for what JJill sold theirs for, actually about $1 less. And, they advertise as being “sweatshop free.” What’s not to love? Here’s the link.

So those are my recommendations. I know there are a lot of new, really comfortable bras out there without wires but if you’re over a C cup you end up with a “uniboob.” If you have one that you love, let me know about it and why you like it. I love to do a little digging and see if I can get some specials for you.

Have an uplifting year!

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Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post An elevating story appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

In my last post I described the elements of yin and yang in the color archetypes. Today we’ll look at the seven style archetypes in terms of yin and yang. The amount of yin and yang in our style gives us further clarity about what styles work for us. Again, keep in mind that the descriptions here are the pure archetypes, not their combinations, and we are all combinations.

Yang

Melania Trump

Frida Kahlo

Michelle Obama

Let’s start with the three yang archetypes. These style essences express dynamism, but each in a very different way. The first is the Dramatic archetype. Dramatic types can be kind of haughty. They are very visible people. That means they tend to be tall. Anyone who is tall, regardless of what their coloring and other style essences may be, has some amount of the Dramatic archetype. Their facial features tend to be exaggerated; strong eyebrows are one feature and their eyes tend to have a kind of “feline” look (as with both our former and current First Ladies.) They are at home on a very public stage.

Lauren Hutton

Edie Falco

Next is the Natural style archetype. As the name implies, these are people whose visual style is relaxed.

Ina Garten

They are very comfortable with loose hair doing what it will rather than forcing it into a particular shape. These tend to be real “people” people; they are very approachable. You can see that in the softness of their eyes. They also tend to be sturdy. That does not mean large. It means their bone structure tends to be solid. They appear solid. They make you feel comfortable in their presence. They might even bake you some cookies!

Rita Moreno

Rachael Ray

The last yang type is the one we call High Spirited. John Kitchener refers to this type as “compact drama.” They are also comfortable in the public eye, but are not tall and definitely not haughty. They are active people, much more so than Natural types, and have a lot of kinetic energy.

Reba McIntyre

You will see this in the way they walk and express themselves; they tend to express a lot with their hands. There is vibrancy to this type. Eighty-six-year-old Rita Moreno is a good example of how our style essence stays with us throughout our lives.

The Balance Point – Classic

Michelle Yeoh

Nicole Kidman

Meryl Streep

The style essence that ties the extremes of yang (active dynamism) and yin (quiet passivity) is Classic. That term implies conservatism and traditionalism, which means you aren’t going to find anything too extreme about their visual expression. These people have a reserved look about them. There is a lot of symmetry in their facial features. They have a kind of regal quality, as seen in Nicole Kidman. And their quiet consistency makes them appear pretty unflappable. And even though she can transform herself into almost anything or anyone, Meryl Streep’s fundamental stoic beauty is a perfect example of a Classic type.

Yin

Julia Roberts

Aishwarya Rai

The first yin archetype is called Romantic. When you see someone with

Elizabeth Taylor

very fleshy skin (not corpulent, but softly textural) they likely have a good amount of this style. Romantic style often shows up in the mouth, which tends to have a sensual appearance. They also have a tendency to have slightly parted lips, as if they are just about to say something. Their eyes tend to be very alluring; not piercing, but rather dreamy. They are simply alluring, as is former Miss World, actress Aishwayra Rai.

Emma Stone

Meg Ryan

Marilyn Monroe

The next yin type is very different. We call it Youthful. These are people whose expression is one of guilelessness. Their appearance is bright and wide-eyed; that’s just about the opposite of the smokiness of a Romantic. “Innocence” is the overall impression they convey. They tend to be on the short side and have rounded and more delicate features. Think “baby face.” And even though she worked hard to cultivate a Romantic persona, Marilyn Monroe was a typical Youthful. That essential vulnerability is what made her relatable.

Tilda Swinton

Vanessa Redgrave

Daryl Hannah

Our last archetype, and the rarest of all, is what we call Angelic. It’s unusual to find someone who has a very high percentage of this archetype on planet earth. In fact, if you told me they were actually from another planet I might believe you! That’s because they are the essence of what we think of as yin: the most delicate, passive, ethereal-looking and, often, androgynous of all the archetypes. Most of the ones we know have significant amount of the other archetypes, keeping them a bit grounded. They are identified by their somewhat hooded eyelids and elongated faces. There is something slightly other-worldly about those eyes, as if they see beyond what we do.

So there you have it: our yang and yin style essences. Combine those with your color type and you get a pretty good idea of what works for you, style-wise. In my book there is a questionnaire that can help you determine how much of each of these archetypes of style you might embody.

I just want to add a personal note about yin and yang in our color and style. One of the greatest values of looking at people through these lenses is that they help us remove judgement. They enable us to simply see who we all are as expressed through our DNA. They allow us to feel delight in observing our unique variations and combinations.

Andrea’s books and new video series:

The post Yin and Yang in Personal Style – Part 2 appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

One of the ways to determine if an article of clothing or an accessory will work for us is to gauge the amount of yin or yang it expresses in its color and style. Then, we compare that with the amount of yin and yang in our own features and coloring. If there’s a match, the item works well for us. That’s an experiment we can even do if we know the general “seasonal” colors we express in our coloring and before we know the full color palette.

If you’re not familiar with the terms yin and yang, you can think about them as complementary extremes in a continuum: light and dark, feminine and masculine, active and passive. In my book,  Shopping for the Real You, I talk about how these elements show up in color and style archetypes. We’ll look at color first.

Yang

Striking Contrast Palette

Earthy Rich Palette

Julia Roberts
Earthy Rich

Amal Clooney
Striking Contrast

People with a lot of the so-called winter color palette can wear highly saturated and intense colors. We call that archetype “Striking Contrast.” Autumn color types look best in deep, warm, complex colors that are found in the palette we call “Earthy Rich.” Both of these are yang color archetypes. If you just think about the words we use to describe these color harmonies you will get a clue about why that is. “Striking” and “Earthy” suggest dynamism and intensity, respectively, not quietness or passivity.

Yin

Spring Palette

Summer Palette

Marilyn Monroe
Lively Bright

Tilda Swinton
Subtle Blended

On the yin end, spring colors, which we call “Lively Bright” are lightened by adding some white or yellow to clear pigments. So, instead of appearing intense they appear playful and light. Summer colors, or “Subtle Blended” colors, are softened and toned down with gray. So, instead of having a grounded, dynamic quality they seem soft and gentle.

Now, counterintuitively, Chinese philosophy considers yin, the feminine principle, as a dark energy and yang, the masculine principle, as a bright energy. But visually, we experience the seasonal color harmonies very differently. Yes, an individual who has a lot of the winter color archetype may appear calm and reserved in their demeanor. But their coloring certainly is not. It has intensity.

So when you look at the color of an article of clothing, just consider how much dynamism or intensity, playfulness or subtlety it conveys. And then see how much that matches the amount of those qualities in your own coloring.

Also, remember that almost every one of us is a combination of archetypes, although one will likely dominate. Style essences, however, can be more balanced. Most of us embody multiple style archetypes, both yin and yang. All these wonderful combinations are what makes us interesting!

Next week we’ll go over yin and yang in these style archetypes and describe some of the silhouettes, textiles, and accessories that work for each.

The post Yin and Yang in Your Color and Style appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Hi all,

You know I love clothes, but I’m not a fan of spending an hour figuring out what to wear. I like looking fashionable but not fussy. That’s why I was delighted when Pauline Durban at Covered Perfectly offered to send me this lovely tunic and topper to try.

I’ve been a fan of Pauline’s company for a while now. Her things are very well made, very reasonably priced, and they serve a multitude of purposes. They can be worn in many environments year round and can be dressed up or down easily. I’m actually wearing them with black ankle pants and heels here, but missed getting in my feet (#not a photographer.) For those of us who want to show a little less skin, they keep us, as promised, covered perfectly.

This is what I posted early this summer wearing one of their v-neck tunics and the animal print topper.

So here’s my full review of these new pieces. As with most of their tops, the shoulder-zipper (I love that detail) tunic is made from micromodal. This is a natural, very breathable fabric and is more refined than woven rayon. It also wears beautifully and is easy-care; wash and hang dry.

Since I’m about 5’1″ this tunic fits me more like a short dress, which is why I will wear it with ankle pants, leggings, or skinny jeans. The popcorn stitch topper (worn above) is one of those items that can make an entire outfit and add a light layer of warmth in an air conditioned room. On a taller woman it would serve as a great long sweater. (As the weather gets chilly I will wear the tunic with my down vest, which, serendipitously, is the exact same color.)

I think that any of Covered Perfectly’s items would make a fantastic gift, btw. As always, Pauline is extending a very nice discount for us: 20% off your purchase with the coupon code SRY20 or you can take advantage of the “buy 2 get the third one free” discount. Here is the link to her website. It’s well worth checking out.

Happy Shopping!

 

 

 

The post She’s Got Us Covered…Perfectly appeared first on Shopping for the Real You.

Summer ended abruptly this year. Overnight we went from hot wind-whipped days of Indian summer right into the rainy season. That weather change always triggers the annual migration of my summer clothes to the guest room closet (can’t fit everything into our small closets) and the winter ones into my bedroom closet. I love this process because it gives me an opportunity to do one of my favorite things: purge. The good thing about purging at the beginning of the season is that what you get rid of is still wearable by someone else.

I was ruthless this year. Anything that no longer reflected my life, that made me feel old, or that went with nothing else got tossed. I filled five large shopping bags full of sweaters, shoes, hats, bags, belts and scarves. It was extremely liberating. But that feeling of liberation waned when I walked into my office.

For a long time I had several banker boxes stacked on the floor in front of my bookshelves. They contained newsletters from health practitioners I’ve followed for years and  bank statements stretching back to 1999. Some of the newsletters were even in binders, arranged by category. In the back of my mind I thought, “Someday I’m going to write a book about alternative health.” I am not going to write a book about alternative health. And just about every single thing in all those papers is available online, anyway. These papers simply took up physical space in my office and psychological space in my mind. No matter how much I accomplished, they always announced “you have more to do…so much more…”

So, I spent one extremely satisfying day pulling all of the newsletters out of those boxes and binders and throwing them into the recycling bin, and moving the bank statements into the now empty banker boxes for shredding. Since I was able to see my bookshelf more clearly, I turned my attention to the contents of the bookshelf. Many of the books were meaningful to me once upon a time. But frankly, I just dragged a lot of them from place to place by habit. They just added to the list of to-dos: “someday I need to re-read that..” Into the recycling bags they went.

And then, like Patton marching through Europe, I attacked everything in our bathroom, starting with my makeup drawer. Out went the aged and likely bacteria-ridden eyeliners and eye shadows. Out went the last vestiges of discontinued lipsticks. Out went the expensive foundation that made my skin look yellow. And, since I have embraced the reality of my curly, short hair, out went the wide roller brushes and hair products designed to “straighten your hair over time.”

In the medicine cabinet I tossed out half-empty bottles of antibacterial hand cleaners  and worn-down emery boards. I pulled out expired drugs including some for our dog who left us five years ago. Fortunately we have the most spectacular recycling center in El Cerrito California that takes everything including expired drugs!

Now, when I walk into my office, open the door to my closet, or look into my makeup drawer, I breathe. I no longer feel constricted mentally, physically or emotionally, by a lot of those things that seemed to “own” me but not serve me. I think I hear the kitchen drawers calling me…

So, what are you holding onto that keeps you from breathing?

 

 

 

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