Trappist-1 in T-Minus 60
T minus 60: Social Media is buzzing with excited comments.
T minus 59: Hard Sci-Fi Writers run to their keyboards. “This is sure to be a best seller! It’ll be like the Martian, only they go to the Trappist-1 and…[insert twist here].” None of these will come close to the Martian’s success, in spite of including ten times the number of paragraphs detailing minute technical details.
T minus 57: Comedy memes flood the web. Admiral Ackbar is back, bay-bee!
T minus 56: “Hey, this seems like a really good opportunity to promote/bash religion and/or my political beliefs.”
T minus 54: Neil Tyson Degrasse issues a profound tweet: “If Trappist-1 has a planet that can support human life. Humans may well live there.”
T minus 53: Bill Nye explains why he needs your money to help get us to Trappist-1. Because…science. Cash only, please.
T minus 48: Elon Musk orders production of a series of orbital charging stations to be launched and waiting for the Tesla-X home rocket cars to use as they migrate to the new Utopia sure to be found in the Trappist-1 system.
T minus 45: Trappist-1 is absorbed by the Klingon Empire.
T minus 40: China declares they will be the first to send a probe to Trappist-1.
T minus 39: President Trump tweets: “China hasn’t even been to the moon. Sad.”
T minus 37: Following a surge of public support, NASA returns to the moon in attempt to finally get the conspiracy theorists on board, so as to better fool them when recording the “Trappist Landings” in a Hollywood backlot.
T minus 32: Horrible creatures known only as “The Endlings” emerge from center of Trappist-1f, driving the Klingons from the Trappist-1 system.
T minus 27: Forgotten greek gods excitedly talk about the possibility of having a planet named after them, even if it is just with the Roman version of their name. Juno suggests starting a marketing campaign to help earthlings realize how dumb Trappist-1a,b,c,d,e,f,g sound.
T minus 25: Hopeful that Trappist-1 may contain alien life, ISIS plans its own launch mission. “We can only hope to get there first in order to destroy all traces of their religion and culture.” The ISIS science team destroy themselves and the program when imitating Wile E. Coyote and attempting to lauch the rocket by placing it atop a four-story high pile of dynamite.
T minus 24: North Korea attempts to beat China and the USA to Trappist-1, but mistakenly launches a nuclear missile instead, setting back China’s program by several hundred years. Strength and self reliability become the new currency in wasteland China.
T minus 23: NASA launches a manned super-craft to Trappist-1 using fun technology that probably doesn’t exist, but we’ll just pretend it does.
T minus 20: The Olympus campaign is so successful, the public demands the Trappist planets be renamed. The internet chooses Doc, Sleepy, Lulz, Dopey, New Alderaan, Planet McSpaceGalaxy, and Earth XII. The greek gods pout.
T minus 18: Due to sheer volume, Trappist-1 science fiction novels now have their own category on amazon.
T minus 15: A terrible mutant Ghengis Kahn rises from China’s barren wastes. Riding his war tigerphant, he seeks to conquer all of Asia.
T minus 10: The NASA mission arrives in the Trappist-1 system.
T minus 9: A Starbucks store opens on six of the seven planets.
T minus 7: Neil Armstrong VI is the first man to walk on Trappist-1c, now called New Alderaan.
T minus 5: Hey, is that a Death Star?
T minus 4: Commence Primary Ignition.
T minus 3: Super Laser gets super-lasery.
T minus 2: Explosion! No…SPECIAL EDITION EXPLOSION WITH THE RING AND STUFF!
T minus 1: …
T minus 0: NASA announces exciting new conference to be held tomorrow.
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