Let It Go!
Okay, so I'm talking to a new supervisor at work and he tells me he is thin-skinned. I stare into his chocolate Black-American/Hawaiian skin and wonder how this seemingly 'together' man could say such a thing. I try to tease him, lightly I might add, and he comes to near tears. Then he asserts that there are times when he must leave a conversation because he cannot tolerate how people hurt him. He recounts stories of his childhood in which he was traumatically teased and for which he has never recovered.
I can tell you that his pain took a place in my heart and I wanted to cry for him. I knew there was no where to go with the conversation because he had completely shut down, retreated to that place where you re-visit hell, and all I could do was sit in silence and look at him with compassion and caring. If it were anything other than a work situation I might have given him a warm hug because certainly I believed he needed one.
After about five minutes he got up and left my desk area. And the saddest part of this for me was that he now has the option to sit with his pain differently. He has the option to not allow his pain to define him. He has the option to say the past is the past and I can now move out of the trauma, re-name myself, move on, and heal. I'm not saying he will ever forget; I'm saying that he can transform the hurt into wisdom and a new experience of himself.
How do I know this can be accomplished? Because I have accomplished it myself and I sit with indefatigable passion as I write this. I have written about it in my book Write to Heal which can only be ordered through my site: www.JanMarquart.com and sells for $8.99. It is 78 pages. I have written about the process in detail through my novel The Basket Weaver which can be ordered at the above website, Amazon, or www.creatspace.com/3553668.
I know the place of hell I saw in this man's eyes and body language. I have lived it at times too. I know you would have felt it also because it is a common childhood experience, too common I might add, and it was as if I were hearing the screams of victims from all over the world.
Carolyn Myss speaks to this when she says that holding onto victimology prevents healing. I truly believe that is true.
Write to Heal is a self-help book; The Basket Weaver is defined as a novel but it is truly a book of creative-non-fiction.
I invite readers of this to email me, strike up a conversation, purchase my books and comment to me about what you think.
Until next time,
Jan
I can tell you that his pain took a place in my heart and I wanted to cry for him. I knew there was no where to go with the conversation because he had completely shut down, retreated to that place where you re-visit hell, and all I could do was sit in silence and look at him with compassion and caring. If it were anything other than a work situation I might have given him a warm hug because certainly I believed he needed one.
After about five minutes he got up and left my desk area. And the saddest part of this for me was that he now has the option to sit with his pain differently. He has the option to not allow his pain to define him. He has the option to say the past is the past and I can now move out of the trauma, re-name myself, move on, and heal. I'm not saying he will ever forget; I'm saying that he can transform the hurt into wisdom and a new experience of himself.
How do I know this can be accomplished? Because I have accomplished it myself and I sit with indefatigable passion as I write this. I have written about it in my book Write to Heal which can only be ordered through my site: www.JanMarquart.com and sells for $8.99. It is 78 pages. I have written about the process in detail through my novel The Basket Weaver which can be ordered at the above website, Amazon, or www.creatspace.com/3553668.
I know the place of hell I saw in this man's eyes and body language. I have lived it at times too. I know you would have felt it also because it is a common childhood experience, too common I might add, and it was as if I were hearing the screams of victims from all over the world.
Carolyn Myss speaks to this when she says that holding onto victimology prevents healing. I truly believe that is true.
Write to Heal is a self-help book; The Basket Weaver is defined as a novel but it is truly a book of creative-non-fiction.
I invite readers of this to email me, strike up a conversation, purchase my books and comment to me about what you think.
Until next time,
Jan
No comments have been added yet.
