This group has been designated for adults age 18 or older. Please sign in and confirm your date of birth in your profile so we can verify your eligibility. You may opt to make your date of birth private.
VISIT WITH A ROLEX A.D. ⌚
Sometime in the not too distant future ...
"Good morning, sir. Welcome to Rolex! How may I assist you?"
"I'm interested in the new 41 1/2 mil Submariner."
"Excellent. That's quite a bump up in size, however. Are you certain you can adjust to the additional heft and wrist presence?"
"I already own a 41 1/4 mil. I think I can handle it."
"Good. Some people are traumatized by the additional 1/4 millimeter. It is a bold step on the part of Rolex! If you should suddenly find yourself stricken with insomnia or a bout of bed wetting, we do have a support group that meets here on Thursdays."
"Thanks. I'm sure I'll be fine."
"Excellent! I'll just need you to sign this double-indemnity life insurance policy & legal document bequeathing all your internal organs to Rolex in case of sudden death ... and a payment of $40,000 -- cash if you've got it."
"Forty grand for a $10,000 watch!???"
"Oh, it's not for the watch, sir. It's just the application fee for our waiting list."
"How long a wait?"
"Sir, need I remind you that Einstein has already proven that time is relative?"
[Customer looks skeptical]
"However, if time is a consideration, I'm pleased to announce the opening of our new Cryogenic Freezing Facility next door to our foundry. We can keep you on Ice until a new Sub becomes available."
"Wow! And I thought making your own hairsprings was impressive."
"It's all part of our new service. We'll thaw you out once every five years to update you on our progress -- and berate you for not purchasing a Yacht-Master II instead."
"Look, this all sounds really complicated. I'm going next door to the A. Lange & Sohne boutique."
"Suit yourself. [The A.D. grins] You'll be back!"
5 minutes later, our protagonist is greeted by a paunchy, middle-aged sales rep wearing lederhosen ...
"Guten morgen, sir! Welcome to A. Lange & Sohne. Would you care for some strudel?"
"Knock off the phony sales spiel -- I just want a watch!"
"Splendid! That'll be $500,000."
"500K?"
"Did I say 500? ... I meant 250"
"$250K?"
"125?"
"Look ..."
"Okay, okay ... It's obvious you drive a hard bargain!... $50K"
"But ..."
"Well, you've really got me over a barrel -- doncha, fella? ... $10K and I'll throw in a hat ..."
"Really ..."
[The A.D. slams the watch down on the display case]
"Just take the goddamn thing!!!"
"You're GIVING me a brand new Lange???"
"Please! Take it! ... I'm sick a lookin' at the thing!!!"
"This is insane! The entire watch industry has gone friggin' insane!!!"
"You think this is insane? [Another patron who's been waiting chimes in] You should check out the F.P. Journe boutique! They're accepting applications for the new Chronomètre Bleu Squid Game ..."
THE END .... ✒
"Good morning, sir. Welcome to Rolex! How may I assist you?"
"I'm interested in the new 41 1/2 mil Submariner."
"Excellent. That's quite a bump up in size, however. Are you certain you can adjust to the additional heft and wrist presence?"
"I already own a 41 1/4 mil. I think I can handle it."
"Good. Some people are traumatized by the additional 1/4 millimeter. It is a bold step on the part of Rolex! If you should suddenly find yourself stricken with insomnia or a bout of bed wetting, we do have a support group that meets here on Thursdays."
"Thanks. I'm sure I'll be fine."
"Excellent! I'll just need you to sign this double-indemnity life insurance policy & legal document bequeathing all your internal organs to Rolex in case of sudden death ... and a payment of $40,000 -- cash if you've got it."
"Forty grand for a $10,000 watch!???"
"Oh, it's not for the watch, sir. It's just the application fee for our waiting list."
"How long a wait?"
"Sir, need I remind you that Einstein has already proven that time is relative?"
[Customer looks skeptical]
"However, if time is a consideration, I'm pleased to announce the opening of our new Cryogenic Freezing Facility next door to our foundry. We can keep you on Ice until a new Sub becomes available."
"Wow! And I thought making your own hairsprings was impressive."
"It's all part of our new service. We'll thaw you out once every five years to update you on our progress -- and berate you for not purchasing a Yacht-Master II instead."
"Look, this all sounds really complicated. I'm going next door to the A. Lange & Sohne boutique."
"Suit yourself. [The A.D. grins] You'll be back!"
5 minutes later, our protagonist is greeted by a paunchy, middle-aged sales rep wearing lederhosen ...
"Guten morgen, sir! Welcome to A. Lange & Sohne. Would you care for some strudel?"
"Knock off the phony sales spiel -- I just want a watch!"
"Splendid! That'll be $500,000."
"500K?"
"Did I say 500? ... I meant 250"
"$250K?"
"125?"
"Look ..."
"Okay, okay ... It's obvious you drive a hard bargain!... $50K"
"But ..."
"Well, you've really got me over a barrel -- doncha, fella? ... $10K and I'll throw in a hat ..."
"Really ..."
[The A.D. slams the watch down on the display case]
"Just take the goddamn thing!!!"
"You're GIVING me a brand new Lange???"
"Please! Take it! ... I'm sick a lookin' at the thing!!!"
"This is insane! The entire watch industry has gone friggin' insane!!!"
"You think this is insane? [Another patron who's been waiting chimes in] You should check out the F.P. Journe boutique! They're accepting applications for the new Chronomètre Bleu Squid Game ..."
THE END .... ✒
No comments have been added yet.
