The Daily Focus on my PQ app today was on using my empathize power to improve my relationships. In the day’s original message, Shirzad was telling us to bring empathy to our relationships as we consider how the other person’s saboteur is causing them damage. He points out that when other people’s saboteurs are in action, it naturally triggers our saboteurs, which then fuels their saboteur even more, creating a vicious cycle. 

How can you use your sage’s empathize power to interrupt this cycle? For example, it may feel like the other person’s controller, stickler, or hyper-vigilant saboteur is being hard on you, but you can pause and consider how hard that saboteur is also being on them. And you can remember that they are living with this saboteur inside their head. Their demanding judge or hyper-achiever is likely a common brutal voice, constantly attacking them.

The notification from the PQ app’s Daily Focus reminds us how we can use this message in our busy life.

Think of a relationship you want to improve. Next, think of something about this person that bothers you the most. Remember that the behaviors that bug us tend to come from their saboteurs, and saboteurs are based in fear. Consider what fear might be behind this trait or behavior. Is it fear of rejection? Fear of failure? Fear of looking bad? Fear of poverty? Fear of being hurt? Empathize with how painful these kinds of feelings can be. Use it as a reason, not an excuse for their behavior.

Shifting into empathy can help us keep our saboteurs in check and not add fuel to the fire. It can make it much easier for us to choose a helpful response instead of reacting from our judge.

Do you know your top saboteurs? Take the free assessment by clicking here and then scrolling down to the saboteur area.

I LOVE having the Positive Intelligence (PQ) app on my phone! Every weekday I get a new Daily Focus and the app notifies me every few hours to take a couple of minutes to practice.  I’m grateful for the in-depth training I’ve had with Shirzad Chamine. He is the founder and author of Positive Intelligence and the creator of the app. Let me know if you’re interested to learn more.