On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your life right now?

Your career, your family, your health?

If you’re like I was, you demand nothing less than a 10 in every area. I chased that “perfect 10” ideal for years — and it nearly broke me.

I had all the outward trappings of success. I was the #1 social seller at my company, helping generate over $1 billion in revenue that never would have existed without my home-grown Moneyball sales engine. I had shelves of Club awards and a reputation as the top performer. On paper, I was a 10/10.

Yet inside, I felt emptier and more exhausted than ever. My relationships were strained, my health was deteriorating, and each victory felt strangely hollow. I was staying late at the office and pouring drinks at night to cope — pushing myself to a “9 or 10” in the moment, only to wake up the next day feeling like a 3.

Then life punched me in the gut. The wins stopped pushing me to a 10. They felt empty. I had no more hills to climb; no itch to do more.

I realized I’d been chasing the wrong things — sacrificing what truly mattered on the altar of an unattainable ideal.

In that instant, I knew: something had to change.

The Toxic Pursuit of Perfection

We’re told to “have it all” — the thriving career, picture-perfect family, dream house, enviable lifestyle. We strive for that mythical 10/10 in every category, and we beat ourselves up when reality falls short. But here’s what I’ve learned: something will always be out of balance.

And that’s OK.

Life isn’t a static checklist where every box gets a perfect score. In reality, if your career is a 10 right now, maybe your family life feels like a 6, or your health is sitting at a 4. No matter who you are, at any given time one part of your world will demand more attention while another lags.

Yet we act like any imbalance means we’re failing. As author Mark Manson reminds us, no matter how high or low life takes us, we eventually normalize back to a “6 or 7” on the happiness scale. That promotion or big win might spike you to cloud nine, and a crushing loss might drop you to a 2 — but sooner or later, you land back in the middle. (Or as John Mellencamp sang, “life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone.”)

Chasing constant highs is a losing game. I learned this first-hand. The quick fixes I used to artificially feel like a 10 were just robbing from tomorrow’s happiness. Every time I pushed myself to an unsustainable peak, I paid the price in the crash that followed. The harder I grasped at perfection, the more life seemed to slip out of balance.

The pursuit of a “10/10 everywhere” life isn’t ambition; it’s anxiety. It led me to burnout, to fractured relationships, to moments of deep doubt. I nearly quit on myself more times than I can count. Perfectionism had become a prison.

Growth, Faith & Empathy: The Path to Real Balance

Picking up the pieces after my fall, I set out to redefine what balance really means. I realized that growth isn’t just about promotions or paychecks — it’s about your daily habits, your relationships, your faith, and the way you show up for the people you love.

Instead of chasing some “perfect” state of equilibrium, I began focusing on progress — on getting a little better in the areas that truly matter, day by day.

Three principles became my guiding pillars: Growth, Faith, and Empathy. Embracing these changed not only my life, but my leadership:

Growth: I shifted my mindset from outcome to improvement. Instead of asking, “Am I a 10 yet?”, I began asking, “What did I learn today? How did I improve, even slightly?” I gave myself permission to be a work-in-progress. This took enormous pressure off my shoulders and, ironically, made me more effective. When you commit to lifelong growth, every experience becomes fuel for getting better, not a referendum on your worth.Faith: My faith became my anchor and my compass. It reminded me that I’m part of a bigger story, that my identity isn’t defined by a job title or a quarterly target. In dark times — like the day I lost my job — faith gave me resilience and strength to persevere. It taught me to trust in a purpose greater than immediate success. And it reinforced the principle of servant leadership: if I’m called to lead, I must first serve. That realization humbled me and helped me prioritize people over metrics.Empathy: I stopped viewing people as metrics and started truly listening — to my team, my colleagues, my family — and discovered that is the heart of leadership. The world has changed: employees today aren’t looking for perfection; they’re looking for presence — someone who will say, “I see you. I’ve been there. And I’m not going anywhere.” When I began leading with empathy – making time for the human conversations, showing vulnerability, checking in on others – my connections deepened and our results soared. Empathy turned out to be my edge, not my weakness.

Together, growth, faith, and empathy created a real sense of balance in my life. Not a flawless 10 in every category, but a life where I could juggle what mattered without losing myself. I was growing again — in character, not just in title. I felt grounded by purpose and faith, and I was building up others, not just my own stats.

Actionable Steps to Build Real Balance

So how can you start finding real balance and stop the wild goose chase of perfection? Here are five steps you can take right now to shift toward a life rooted in growth, faith, and empathy:

Adopt healthier habits. Pick one small, sustainable habit and commit to it daily. Whether it’s a morning walk, shutting down screens by 9pm, or eating dinner with your family, these small changes compound over time. Your physical and mental health form the foundation that everything else stands on.Deepen your faith or spirituality. Anchor yourself in something bigger than the day-to-day grind. This might mean praying or meditating each morning, reading scripture or inspirational texts, or simply reflecting on what you’re grateful for. Nurture your soul, not just your résumé.Learn new skills (personally and professionally). Make a commitment to continuous learning. Sign up for that course, read a book in a new domain, or ask a colleague to mentor you in an area you want to grow. Sharpening your tools not only boosts your career, it keeps your mind engaged and open.Level up your relationships. Be present with the people you love. Put down the phone and really listen to your partner and your kids. Take that date night or one-on-one outing with your child. Ask your friends how they’re really doing. When your loved ones are struggling, lean in rather than rushing to give advice. Consistent, attentive presence in your relationships builds trust and connection.Practice empathy daily. At work and at home, challenge yourself to listen more than you speak. The next time a colleague or friend is going through a tough time, resist the urge to immediately fix it. Instead, just listen and acknowledge their feelings — show them you truly care. Being that supportive ear builds bonds, eases others’ burdens, and will ultimately make you a better leader and a better human being.Stop Chasing, Start Living

Life isn’t about scoring a perfect 10 in every category. It’s about continually growing into the person you’re meant to be. It’s about aligning your work and life with your values, staying grounded in faith, and extending grace to yourself and others along the way.

I finally stopped trying to perform my life and started living it — imperfections and all. And a funny thing happened: when I let go of being the best at everything, I became better at what actually matters. I became a more present father, a more supportive husband, and a more effective leader. The balance I’d been chasing showed up only when I quit chasing and started being.

So my challenge to you is the same one I gave myself: stop aiming for that mythical “10″ everywhere.

Instead, start aiming for growth where it matters most today.

Forget about perfection; focus on progress.

Pick one area — your health, your faith, your skills, your relationships, or your empathy — that you will give intentional care this week. Pour a little extra effort there.

Ask yourself honestly: which part of your life needs your attention right now? And what is one step, however small, you can take today to nurture it?

No, you won’t fix everything overnight. But you don’t have to. All you need to do is start moving in the right direction, one imperfect step at a time. Trust that growth, faith, and empathy will guide you toward the balance you seek.

The show must go on, as they say. But now you get to decide how it goes on — whether it’s from a place of constant, frantic striving, or from a place of genuine growth and purpose. The choice is yours.

Which area of your life will you stop chasing perfection in — and start growing instead — this week?