(Could be worse. Ask Utah.)

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Fortunately for human civilization…well, what’s left of it…it appears NASA has nearly invented the Star Trek warp drive. Soon, we’ll be able to board a starship, yell at that “Scotty” guy, leave Earth at Florida turnpike speeds, and go live somewhere hostile and unearthly, like the Crab Nebula, or Dallas.

And not a moment too soon, either, because Earth is in trouble: the loonies are naked and the rabbits are stoned.

We’ll get to the bunnies in a bit. F...