(What is Mylar, anyway?)

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Last week I bought a $24.99 flower arrangement for $101.85.

Don’t be jealous. Not everyone can manage their finances as shrewdly as that. I have a gift.

Admittedly, I was out of my league from the start. As you can imagine, single guys don’t spend a lot of time at the florists. Bachelors do a brisk business with florists, but not single guys. What’s the difference? Bachelor is a condition, a transient state. Single guy is a decision.

Bachelors are still lo...