City of the Falling Sky is a terrific debut novel for young adults, but requires significant editing before it can become a genuine bestseller.

Let me just say first of all that I think Joseph Evans has great talent as a storyteller. His imagination and world-building skills are something to be admired, and you can’t help but get sucked into this saga. City of the Falling Sky, the first title in The Seckry Sequence trilogy, is a sci-fi coming-of-age tale that hits the ground running.

Mainly set in the futuristic dystopian city of Skyfall, Seckry is a teenage boy whose life is turned upside down when he and his family are forced to relocate from their rural home by the monopolistic Endrin Corporation. Attending a new school, he is soon immersed in an intriguing curriculum (literally straight out of science fiction) and making friends with a whole bunch of relatable characters. As expected from this type of young adult adventure, the mysteries surrounding much of his daily life quickly pile up – very reminiscent of J.K. Rowling’s style in the Harry Potter series – which tackle subjects such as the disappearance of Seckry’s father, the secret and unethical projects of Endrin, the motives of a hideous serial killer, and just who stole the classroom pet. The more you read, the deeper and darker the plot becomes. To be fair to the author, he has clearly put a lot of thought into the many story threads and subplots, and it’s good fun as a reader to juggle them all throughout the book.

Many of the reviews I’ve read about City of the Falling Sky have been critical of Evans’ obvious inspiration by Rowling and Harry Potter. I disagree: I think he should be applauded for taking a structure that obviously works and applying a fresh concept to it. The virtual reality game of Friction has all the ingenuity and revitalising subplot elements that Potter fans adore about Quidditch, not to mention something that most videogame players will drool over. By his own admission, Evans is also a huge fan of the iconic videogame Final Fantasy VII, and anyone familiar with that storyline will see its influence stamped all over this book. The parallels between Endrin and Shinra, Darklight and Hojo, and the Innoya and Cetra are just a few of these. Another thing that the reviews haven’t really picked up on is the religious undertones throughout the novel. I think Evans has been clever in the way that he has reflected Christian beliefs in the lore and origins of Seckraman, but does not do so in an inflammatory manner. Perhaps that’s something that only older readers might spot.

However, as great a tale as this is, it fails to hit top marks on a number of key development factors. The recurring theme that was most obvious to me was that the reader is often given an elaborate scenario or character role, but only a shred of explanation as to how everything came together. It’s almost as if Evans has decided on the “my story, my rules” approach whereby the reader just has to accept it all at face value. An example of this would be how Seckry’s hatred of Endrin is touched on a few times in the early chapters, but not explored too thoroughly, and at no point does he appear to be deliberately mischievous or roguish. Then, out of nowhere, he agrees to break into a highly-restricted facility. Alone. On behalf of an online stranger. Without up-front payment or insurance. Because he’s angry at Endrin. Admittedly, this is one of the major plot holes, but it is by no means isolated. While the subplots are enjoyable, there are a couple that could be cut without actually making any difference. One that springs to mind is the headmaster’s illness and past. In a book that already has so many balls in the air, a thread like this might be considered overkill. One final point is the simplicity of so many things (though, again, this is only from the point of view of an adult writer and not necessarily reflective of the target audience). The twists regarding the Vitruvian Man-style door lock or the old painting with the symbol among others were too easy to spot, and the idea of having the last 20 pages tie just about everything up in a neat little bow was both unrealistic and anti-climactic for me.

City of the Falling Sky is also without a shadow of doubt the work of a first-time author: the writing standard is relatively poor. For the target audience, this is arguably not too problematic as they are less likely to read the book with editor glasses on. Other authors or writers, though, will be cringing a few times each chapter at the typos, terrible grammar and regular inconsistencies in style. As a fantasy author myself, I’m all too aware how difficult it is to catch all the mistakes and how invaluable a proofreader’s opinion can be, but even more important is someone who can make suggestions to improve your product. I think the novel severely lacks this, and it had a really negative impact on my enjoyment levels. I genuinely hope that Evans or another party will return and thoroughly edit this book as to leave it as it is will be hugely detrimental to his future career. It’s also worth noting that he has recently been taken on by a literary agent so I would expect these problems to be fixed sooner rather than later.

Despite the criticism, I would very much recommend City of the Falling Sky to anyone who likes their young adult books to be engaging thrill rides without the hassle of convoluted and challenging plots. Evans has produced a fantastic story with twists and turns that is pretty much guaranteed to leave you entertained – as long as you can deal with regular errors and a few “eh?” moments. I suppose you could describe it as a sci-fi Harry Potter set in Final Fantasy VII’s Midgar. That alone would be enough to sell it to me, but the fact that it is available to download in any digital format for free makes it all the more appealing.

Check it out on Amazon or Smashwords, and follow the project on Facebook and Twitter.

Download the FREE 40-page preview edition of our forthcoming novel Axtelera Ray: The Chronicles of Astrone as a PDF or ePub to find out why it’s being rated at 5 stars!!!

The post The Seckry Sequence: A Book Review appeared first on Axtelera-Ray.