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things you learned from the movies (that may or may not be true)
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by
janine
(new)
Jan 12, 2011 07:14AM
all secretaries have affairs with their bosses. it is part of their job description.
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Smart virgins stay alive while the dumb sluts get hacked to pieces.
Never split up if someone suggests splitting up to investigate.
Always wander around your house in the dark so the killer can "hide" right next to you .
you have a chance with the exotic foreign exchange student
The "plain jane" girl always gets a makeover from the popular girl and ends up dating the hunk .
"Plain Jane" is just code for wearing glasses, pulling your hair back, and wearing frumpy clothes. The makeover involves taking off the glasses, letting down the hair, and better clothes. Who knew it was that easy?
chopping a head off with a sword while riding a horse full blast is easy
Lifting a full grown woman from the ground onto a galloping horse is easy.
The BIG man can get the HOT girl if he is funny
You can get a great job without any real effort .
Even baristas can afford Manhattan lofts.
arranged marriages are awesome. every time a man and a woman pretend to be married or engaged they end up falling in love.
People who hate each other and all that the other stands for will inevitably fall adorably in love.
Airport security means nothing to a person in love. Everyone can afford a last minute ticket to anywhere if it means getting to the gate in time.
Sarah Pi wrote: "Airport security means nothing to a person in love. Everyone can afford a last minute ticket to anywhere if it means getting to the gate in time."Best one ever.
Anyone can be battle ready with little to no training, as long as you have a great song playlist to prepare with, usually involving some sort of inspirational 80's fight music.
Animals can talk and so can inanimate objects.
Aliens like Reese's Pieces. You can befriend an alien over them.
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A good way to get away from someone chasing you is to jump from a rooftop onto a moving vehicle. You'll never miss, although you will have to scramble to hang on.
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Investigating that strange noise in the attic or basement armed only with a flashlight or a candle or a Bic lighter is an excellent idea and will always have a good outcome.It doesn't take much to make a car explode.
Talking cats are always selfish and evil.
Sex with your True Love is multiorgasmic for both of you and will last All. Night. Long. without anyone's naughty bits getting sore or chafed.
Sharks hold a grudge like no one's business.
A dinosaur would much rather eat you than anything else on the island.
All aliens regardless of which galaxy and planet they come from speak fluent English.
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Most professional women have a funny best friend with whom they share all their secrets and banter advice back and forth. This best friend is not as hot as the main woman, but sometimes she can be pretty hot. Sometimes the best friend is a gay man. Sometimes that person is black, especially if there are no other black people in that woman's universe.
no one will see you if you hide behind a tree, not even if you stick your head out.
If you are in love with a girl/guy when you are very young you will eventually meet again and most likely one or both of you will be in a relationship with someone not nice, but don't fret, you will eventually reunite.
Walking around in 4 inch high heels is a piece of cake.
anything is possible, especially if there's a deadline.
If you murder the bad guy, you never go to jail or prison.
There are no limits to the number of events that can occur in 24 hours.
Larry wrote: "There are no limits to the number of events that can occur in 24 hours."Except bathroom breaks. Nobody needs to go to the bathroom, except in a Quentin Tarantino movie.
Sarah Pi wrote: "Larry wrote: "There are no limits to the number of events that can occur in 24 hours."Except bathroom breaks. Nobody needs to go to the bathroom, except in a Quentin Tarantino movie."
Or when trying to escape from someone, in which case they don't really "go," they just go.
Sarah Pi wrote: "Larry wrote: "There are no limits to the number of events that can occur in 24 hours."Except bathroom breaks. Nobody needs to go to the bathroom, except in a Quentin Tarantino movie."
Oh, wait. Wasn't there a shitting scene in Dumb & Dumber?
Bathrooms only appear when there is a need for a comedic bathroom scene. They often involve Ben Stiller. I think he had bathroom scenes in one of those Focker movies and in Along Came Polly too.
And that Big Daddy movie. I never saw it, but didn't the lead guy teach the little guy how to pee against a wall?
So the peeing & pooping is in movies that I won't watch because of who is in them. Cool, I won't have to see that stuff.
Getting knocked out or suffering severe head trauma isn't as bad as it seems and is, a lot of times, sexy.
no matter how deadly and fast the thing is you're fleeing from there's always time to stop and talk about your feelings.
Bad guys with automatic weapons can't hit the broad side of a barn.Good guys with handguns never miss.
Clint Eastwood is hard to kill.
Clark wrote: "Clint Eastwood is hard to kill."No, that was Steven Seagall.
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