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“Game-free intimacy is or should be the most perfect form of human living.
Because there is so little opportunity for intimacy in daily life, and because some forms of intimacy (especially if intense) are psychologically impossible for most people, the bulk of time in serious social life is taken up with playing games. Hence games are both necessary and desirable, and the only problem at issue is whether the games played by an individual offer the best yield for him. In this connexion it should be remembered that the essential feature of a game is its culmination, or payoff. The principal function of the preliminary moves is to set up the situation for this payoff, but they are always designed to harvest the maximum permissible satisfaction at each step as a secondary product.
Games are passed on from generation to generation. The favoured game of any individual can be traced back to his parents and grandparents, and forward to his children.
Raising children is primarily a matter of teaching them what games to play. Different cultures and different social classes favour different types of games.
Many games are played most intensely by disturbed people, generally speaking, the more disturbed they are, the harder they play.
The attainment of autonomy is manifested by the release or recovery of three capacities: awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.
Parents, deliberately or unaware, teach their children from birth how to behave, think and perceive. Liberation from these influences is no easy matter, since they are deeply ingrained.
First, the weight of a whole tribal or family historical tradition has to be lifted. The same must be done with the demands of contemporary society at large, and finally advantages derived from one's immediate social circle have to be partly or wholly sacrificed. Following this, the individual must attain personal and social control, so that all the classes of behaviour become free choices subject only to his will. He is then ready for game-free relationships.”
―
Because there is so little opportunity for intimacy in daily life, and because some forms of intimacy (especially if intense) are psychologically impossible for most people, the bulk of time in serious social life is taken up with playing games. Hence games are both necessary and desirable, and the only problem at issue is whether the games played by an individual offer the best yield for him. In this connexion it should be remembered that the essential feature of a game is its culmination, or payoff. The principal function of the preliminary moves is to set up the situation for this payoff, but they are always designed to harvest the maximum permissible satisfaction at each step as a secondary product.
Games are passed on from generation to generation. The favoured game of any individual can be traced back to his parents and grandparents, and forward to his children.
Raising children is primarily a matter of teaching them what games to play. Different cultures and different social classes favour different types of games.
Many games are played most intensely by disturbed people, generally speaking, the more disturbed they are, the harder they play.
The attainment of autonomy is manifested by the release or recovery of three capacities: awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.
Parents, deliberately or unaware, teach their children from birth how to behave, think and perceive. Liberation from these influences is no easy matter, since they are deeply ingrained.
First, the weight of a whole tribal or family historical tradition has to be lifted. The same must be done with the demands of contemporary society at large, and finally advantages derived from one's immediate social circle have to be partly or wholly sacrificed. Following this, the individual must attain personal and social control, so that all the classes of behaviour become free choices subject only to his will. He is then ready for game-free relationships.”
―
“Marconi is a good fellow. Let him continue. He is using seventeen of my patents.”
―
―
“You are not naked when you take off your clothes. You still wear your religious assumptions, your prejudices, your fears, your illusions, your delusions. When you shed the cultural operating system, then, essentially you stand naked before the inspection of your own psyche…and it’s from that position, a position outside the cultural operating system, that we can begin to ask real questions about what does it mean to be human, what kind of circumstance are we caught in, and what kind of structures, if any, can we put in place to assuage the plan and accentuate the glory and the wonder that lurks, waiting for us, in this very narrow slice of time between the birth canal and the yawning grave. In other words we have to return to first premises.”
―
―
“The key to such power is ambiguity. In a society where the roles everyone plays are obvious, the refusal to conform to any standard will excite interest. Be both masculine and feminine, impudent and charming, subtle and outrageous. Let other people worry about being socially acceptable; those types are a dime a dozen, and you are after a power greater than they can imagine.”
― The Art of Seduction
― The Art of Seduction
“13. If the goal is to build up one's sexual energy, what's the
harm of sleeping with a lot of different women (or men) to increase
your ching chi?
Chia: The goal is not to build up one's sexual energy—it is to
transform raw sexual energy into a refined subtle energy. Sex is
only one means of doing that. Promiscuity can easily lower your
energy if you choose partners with moral or physical weakness.
If you lie with degenerates, it may hurt you, in that you can
temporarily acquire your partner's vileness. By exchanging subtle
energy, you actually absorb the other's substance. You become the
other person and assume new karmic burdens. This is why old
couples resemble each other so closely: they have exchanged so
much energy that they are made of the same life-stuff. This practice
accelerates this union, but elevates it to a higher level of spiritual
experience.
So the best advice I can give is to never compromise your
integrity of body, mind and spirit. In choosing a lover you are
choosing your destiny, so make sure you love the woman with
whom you have sex. Then you will be in harmony with what flows
from the exchange and your actions will be proper.
If you think you can love two women at once, be ready to
spend double the chi to transform and balance their energy. I doubt
if many men can really do that and feel deep serenity. For the sake
of simplicity, limit yourself to one woman at a time. It takes a lot of
time and energy to cultivate the subtle energies to a deep level.
It is impossible to define love precisely. You have to consult
your inner voice. But cultivating your chi energy sensitizes you to
your conscience. What was a distant whisper before may become a
very loud voice. For your own sake, do not abandon your integrity
for the sake of physical pleasure or the pretense that you are doing
deep spiritual exercises. If you sleep with one whom you don't
love, your subtle energies will not be in balance and psychic warfare can begin. This will take its toll no matter how far apart you
are physically until you sever or heal the psychic connection. It's
better to be honest in the beginning.
For the same reason make love only when you feel true tenderness within yourself. Your power to love will thus grow
stronger. Selfish or manipulative use of sex even with someone
with whom you are in love can cause great disharmony. If you feel
unable to use your sexual power lovingly, then do not use it at all!
Sex is a gleaming, sharp, two-edged sword, a healing tool that can
quickly become a weapon. If used for base purposes, it cuts you
mercilessly. If you haven't found a partner with whom you can be
truly gentle, then simply touch no one. Go back to building your
internal energy and when it gets high you will either attract a
quality lover or learn a deeper level within yourself.”
― Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy
harm of sleeping with a lot of different women (or men) to increase
your ching chi?
Chia: The goal is not to build up one's sexual energy—it is to
transform raw sexual energy into a refined subtle energy. Sex is
only one means of doing that. Promiscuity can easily lower your
energy if you choose partners with moral or physical weakness.
If you lie with degenerates, it may hurt you, in that you can
temporarily acquire your partner's vileness. By exchanging subtle
energy, you actually absorb the other's substance. You become the
other person and assume new karmic burdens. This is why old
couples resemble each other so closely: they have exchanged so
much energy that they are made of the same life-stuff. This practice
accelerates this union, but elevates it to a higher level of spiritual
experience.
So the best advice I can give is to never compromise your
integrity of body, mind and spirit. In choosing a lover you are
choosing your destiny, so make sure you love the woman with
whom you have sex. Then you will be in harmony with what flows
from the exchange and your actions will be proper.
If you think you can love two women at once, be ready to
spend double the chi to transform and balance their energy. I doubt
if many men can really do that and feel deep serenity. For the sake
of simplicity, limit yourself to one woman at a time. It takes a lot of
time and energy to cultivate the subtle energies to a deep level.
It is impossible to define love precisely. You have to consult
your inner voice. But cultivating your chi energy sensitizes you to
your conscience. What was a distant whisper before may become a
very loud voice. For your own sake, do not abandon your integrity
for the sake of physical pleasure or the pretense that you are doing
deep spiritual exercises. If you sleep with one whom you don't
love, your subtle energies will not be in balance and psychic warfare can begin. This will take its toll no matter how far apart you
are physically until you sever or heal the psychic connection. It's
better to be honest in the beginning.
For the same reason make love only when you feel true tenderness within yourself. Your power to love will thus grow
stronger. Selfish or manipulative use of sex even with someone
with whom you are in love can cause great disharmony. If you feel
unable to use your sexual power lovingly, then do not use it at all!
Sex is a gleaming, sharp, two-edged sword, a healing tool that can
quickly become a weapon. If used for base purposes, it cuts you
mercilessly. If you haven't found a partner with whom you can be
truly gentle, then simply touch no one. Go back to building your
internal energy and when it gets high you will either attract a
quality lover or learn a deeper level within yourself.”
― Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy
Anarchist & Radical Book Club
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connor’s 2024 Year in Books
Take a look at connor’s Year in Books, including some fun facts about their reading.
717 books
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178 books
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752 books
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1,233 books
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950 books
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342 books
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172 books
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