Mandi Hart's Blog, page 5

Lessons from riding the waves

“Feelings are much like waves: we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf.”
Jonatan Mårtensson

This post is a guest blog by Philippa Fabbri

 
 
I’ve always loved and respected the sea…I’m convinced that I should have been a mermaid. You know the type, the one with an hourglass figure, long blonde hair with clamshells for a bikini, and the most beautiful blue, purple and shimmering green tail. Over the years, surfing has taught me many life lessons and I’d like to share some of them with you.
 
 
A lifetime of loving memories
My earliest memories were of summer holidays in Kenton, spending days on end at the beach fishing, swimming and surfing. We had two windsurfers and what I quickly learnt was that you had to work with the wind to have a pleasant experience. It didn’t help to argue or fight. The more you lost your cool, the harder the wind would blow.
 
The way you positioned the board and the sail made all the difference between getting bashed on the head with the boom or jumping on the board and having the sail filled with wind to propel you forward. If you didn’t stand in precisely the right position on the board, one of two things could happen. Either you would get flung forward over the nose of the board, or if your weight was too far at the back, you would also fall off.
 
 
Getting stuck under the sail
 
One vivid memory was of windsurfing in just knee-high water on the Redhouse River. I fell off with the sail falling on top of me, filling with water and pinning me underneath the water. It trapped me. Fortunately, my older brother saw what was happening and ran over to lift the sail. I jumped up, breathing in lungfuls of the much-needed air. After I recovered from the massive fright and got my breathing back under control, my brother told me to jump back on the board and try again. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn’t been there or if I hadn’t got back on the board?
 
The years went by and I carried on windsurfing. For hours on end, during those summer holidays as a teenager, I’d windsurf up and down the Bushman’s River. I would surf until I literally couldn’t hold the sail up anymore. I’d then trudge up the beach lugging the board and the boom and sail behind me, hardly having any strength left to bring everything all the way home.
 
 
Lessons from windsuring
Windsurfing taught me a lot about myself and life.  I learned that if you persevere long enough, and take all the bumps and bruises in your stride as part of the learning experience, it will all be worth it.
 
 
I still have a huge amount of respect for the sea. When I can, I try to go down for a post-coffee/pre-breakfast dip. While in the water recently (pre-lockdown), I started thinking about life and it’s curveballs:
 
 
Because I’m not a cricketer or a lemonade maker, I thought I’d share some lessons from this middle-aged “mermaid”.

 

The stronger the wind, the faster you’ll move, but the harder you may fall.
You can ride the big waves as long as you have a board under your belly.
If the wave is too big to surf, block your nose and go underneath.
Finding the highest part of the wave will give you a better ride. It’s worth taking the risk.
Quit while you’re ahead and get out while you still have all ten toes.
Sometimes a dark shape under the water is just a dark shape.
The most fearsome-looking wave can sometimes give you the ride of your life.
Don’t argue with the sea; just go with it. The sea also has moods, respect them.
Some days a swim is all the nutrition you need.
On the odd occasion, you will get stung, but the sting doesn’t last forever.

Finally, when life gives you lemons…I mean, when the wind blows offshore, you’ll get to ride the best waves.
 
 
Each lesson actually has a deeper meaning. Which one stands out to you out of the ten mentioned? Please comment below – I’d love to hear from you.
 
 

Philippa Fabbri, is also the Director of Communications, Funding & School Design for Elsen Academy in Port Elizabeth. Her dry sense of humour and frankness is refreshing – much like a dip in the ocean.

 

 

 

Photo’s courtesy of Unpslash

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List of blogs

Lessons from riding the waves


Can you think beyond COVID-19?


Life’s journey is not just about the destination


What’s the big deal about Courage in the Fire?


Now is the time. What are you going to do?


Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive


Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Categories
FearLess

Guest Post

Parenting with Courage

The post Lessons from riding the waves appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Can you think beyond COVID-19?

Hope carries us into tomorrow. Don’t give up today – hang in there and wait.

 

It is April 2020. Who would have thought a month ago that we would be where we are today? Never in a million years could anyone predict that more than half the world’s population would be in lockdown with the way we do life turned upside down. But are you ready to think beyond COVID-19 yet?

Everything has changed, and everything is different.

Last week, President Cyril Ramaphosa, in his nationwide address, expressed that ‘We can longer work in the way we have before. Much is being asked of you, far more than ever should be asked.”

Every single human being is impacted by COVID-19. A pandemic marking this generation forever. But what can emerge from this lockdown, this slowing down and crisis?

Can you think beyond COVID-19 yet?

Are you able to change your perspective and adapt? In this blog post, I’d like to turn your attention to what next?

One challenge besides the virus itself is the collateral damage and fallout. Now, this post is meant to be an encouragement, not a downer but I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that. Far greater is the challenge we face of bouncing back. We need to rise again emotionally, physically, economically, socially and more.

It’s not easy.

We’re in this together, and collectively we will rise again.

One of my favourite phrases in Scripture is when Jesus first appears to Mary, and He says these words to her, “Throw off your fears.” You can read more about it in Matthew 28 (TPT).

We cannot rise again if we are held captive fear. Imagine with me a heavy cloak of fear wrapped around every single human being. This cloak is no ordinary cloak – in fact, its made of chains interwoven with lies of ‘what if,’ and ‘don’t try’ and ‘you can’t.” Fear lies to us by wrapping around our hearts and mind terrorizing our souls into inaction, paralysis and negativity.

Fear weakens our immune system because of the rise of anxiety, stress and a whirlwind of negative emotions.

Let’s expose the lies and fears. Fear will feed you lies that you cannot survive this pandemic.

Lockdown changes you, but how?

You were made for this time in history. Your purpose is unique, and you have a gift to offer the world. It’s yours to share.

We need to build resilience

Firstly, resilience is what we need right now. I think that Jesus was the most resilient person who ever lived. Resilience, by definition, is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; it’s a toughness that enables you to bounce back. When we live with resilience, we can overcome crisis, obstacles and use creativity in a type of ‘rebirth’ if you will.

In my book Courage in the Fire, I explore this concept. It’s your reaction to the hardships you encounter and fears you face that will determine the outcome of your life.

“Your resilience and courage determine your trajectory. Self-care and resilience go hand-in-hand; they are good friends. Romans 5:3-5 (NLT) reminds us that, “We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
Life is fraught with unexpected hardships. Jesus’ words to us in John 16:33 show that we will run into problems and trials. This passage says, “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” No-one is exempt from hard times. Fear will knock on the door of every single human being; however, it’s our response when fear comes knocking, that makes the difference. Resilient people can adapt their lives in the face of tragedy, adversity, hardship and ongoing life stressors.”

Acceptance helps us move forward

Secondly, accept that the world is a different place. Perhaps you, like my husband and I, had travel planned for this year and now cancelled. Maybe, like friends of ours, they had a family wedding scheduled, and that too got cancelled. Perhaps, you or someone you know has the coronavirus or even worse, someone you know and love, has passed away. Or you find yourself homeschooling your children and feel swamped by the overwhelming needs around you? Take comfort, you are not alone. Everything has changed, and there is a time for grieving life as we knew it to be and a time for accepting that loss.

Total honesty with yourself

Thirdly, be completely frank and honest with yourself. What emotions are you experiencing during this period of history in the making? What are you struggling with, and what are you celebrating? Take time to reflect on the inner dialogue going on in your soul.

Where are you now?

Fourth, are you able to look beyond yet? If not, that’s ok. There is an inner transformation taking place, and so you need to surrender to that journey. A friend said recently that transformation comes when we experience suffering, unconditional love and times of silence and solitude. I think that these three elements are in our lives right now. Can you be a changemaker in our world?

If any of these points hit a home run in your heart, please let me know. Either in the comments below or in a private message. I look forward to hearing your thoughts as we journey together into a new world – beyond COVID-19.

Remember that you don’t need to go through this on your own even with social distancing and lockdown in place.  Reach out today.

P.S. If you’d like to journey on a three-day devotional, then click on this link. I wrote one for YouVersion, and it’s free.  

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List of blogs

Can you think beyond COVID-19?


Life’s journey is not just about the destination


What’s the big deal about Courage in the Fire?


Now is the time. What are you going to do?


Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive


Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Categories
FearLess

Guest Post

Parenting with Courage

The post Can you think beyond COVID-19? appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Life’s journey is not just about the destination

Guest Post by Leonie van der Berg

 

 
Sometimes it feels like we are so focused on the goal or destination that we forget about the journey and everything that happens on our way there. Recently I thought, “How great it would be if my life could be captured on video somewhere and saved on a very private google drive folder”. I could then replay it, reflect on it and learn from the special moments, thoughts, growth opportunities, feelings, uncomfortable situations and challenges. 
 
Growth opportunities happen in the highs and the lows.
The words written by a Spanish writer, Rosalia da Castro, have been on my mind for some time and the more I read it, the clearer the words and their meaning become. “I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” What grabbed my attention was the fact that although we do not know exactly where our paths may lead, it should inspire and encourage us to take the journey.
 

“I see my path, but I don’t know where it leads. Not knowing where I’m going is what inspires me to travel it.” Rosalia da Castro

 
The journey is unpredictable
 
I believe that there is so much more value in the journey than in the destination itself. God uses the events and opportunities on our way to prepare us for where we are headed. I recently started asking questions (more to myself than to God) about why it takes so long (obviously too long, in my opinion) for us to start a family. After many emotional questions, God drew my attention back to my journey instead of the destination.
 
 
He made me aware of so many things that I have learned during this time; about Him, myself, others, and especially my marriage. I was so focused on the destination that I did not see the opportunities God created to heal my own insecurities, make my marriage a priority, support other people, and fully experience God’s grace and unconditional love in my life.
 
It’s about the journey.
Whatever your destination or goal, embrace the journey because there is so much to see and learn. Our experiences, growth opportunities, and thoughts can add so much value to the people around us. People can learn from what you’ve gone through in your life: your experiences, lessons, discoveries and growth opportunities.
 

It’s often not the destination that connects us with people, but the journey. 

 
Our lives are filled with “to-do’s” and “must-do’s” with endless daily responsibilities which limit us to embrace the personal discovery and growth moments; so, capture your journey! Write it down, start a journal using words, or pictures, draw, paint, create, share it with someone, send yourself an email (oh yes, I’m thinking of doing this), or make a note on your phone (already doing this). It does not matter how we choose to capture our journey as long as we embrace it on the path to our destination.
 
God creates opportunities on our journey to know Him and make Him known. He can’t wait to share His thoughts and ideas with you.           
“You’re blessed when you get your inside world – your mind and heart – put right. Then you can see God in the outside world. Matthew 5: 8 (MSG)
 
It might not feel like it, but the 21-day National Lockdown that was implemented by our President on the 26th of March 2020 is part of our journey.
 
Let’s embrace it by using the time available to reflect on our ‘destinations’ and start capturing our journey. There is something new to learn about God, ourselves, the world, and other people every day and every moment. 
 
 
Some personal reflection for you to try: 
 
Choose a word (a week or a month) and focus your attention on finding things/events in your day surrounding that word. You will be amazed at how much pops up unexpectedly. 
 
 
Take a few minutes each day or at the end of each week to reflect and capture your journey. These are some questions I’m asking myself or things that I think about that helps me “capture” with purpose:

What happened this week/today?
What are some things/events/thoughts/moments that stood out, and why?
What did people say or do that struck me?
What did I struggle with, what challenges did I face, and how did I overcome it?
What are some things that I want to do different tomorrow/next week/next month?
Did I notice something that made me think, and what were my thoughts?
Did I learn something from someone today?
What did I learn about myself/others?
Was there anything the Holy Spirit made me aware of today/this week?
What scripture or song did I think about (write it down and talk to God about it)? 

Once you make reflections part of your journey, you will be surprised at the significance of every day and every moment.
 
The most crucial part is that you “capture” it so that you can embrace your journey.
 
Remember the Journey in Life is not just about the destination, but about what happens on the way there.
 

 

Leonie has been married for eight years and they own a dog who runs the household. By her own admission she says that she is an over-thinker and because of this she often over-loves. “My family and friends means the world to me. I work as an Early Childhood Development Training Facilitator and absolutely love my job, although I’m still searching for my calling, I’m excited about what God has in store for me daily.”

 

 

 

 

Other Images courtesy of UnSplash

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List of blogs

Life’s journey is not just about the destination


What’s the big deal about Courage in the Fire?


Now is the time. What are you going to do?


Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive


Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Categories
FearLess

Guest Post

Parenting with Courage

The post Life’s journey is not just about the destination appeared first on Mandi Hart.

What’s the big deal about Courage in the Fire?

“A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.” J. R. R. Tolkien.

“We promise according to our hopes and perform according to our fears.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680)

 

What dream do you carry in your heart?

How much courage do you need to get it out and share that dream with the world? I believe every single person has seeds of potential within and deep desires to make this world a better place. How can you water those seeds and nourish the young dreams to see them come to fruition?

Well, Courage in the Fire is one of those dreams. I wrote this book initially in 2018. It started as a way to organize and process my thoughts around fear. I never imagined it turning into something more. Along the way, I ended sharing my story of how I overcame fear, and then realized that I carried this message deep within.

From Jordan to Scotland to Mozambique, South African and all the way west to Ghana, I shared my story about how fear paralyzed us and isolated us from living a full life. I learned that fear is the same all over the world. It just looks a little different based on the country and culture. But fear’s intention is exactly the same: To hinder, isolate, restrict and hold captive those who give in to its lies.

What does fear do to us?

Fear lies to us – bottom line. Fear reminds us that we cannot, under any circumstances, reach the dreams and desired resident in our hearts. It tells us that we can never break free from its hold and because of this my message is simple. Firstly, you can face your fears. Secondly, you can overcome that which holds you back, and finally, there are ways to do it.

Courage in the Fire is a book about how fear can hinder your life and how you can break its hold — it’s about hope. This book is intensely personal for me as I share some of my life story, the armed robbery that my daughter and I were in, and how fear affected our lives. In it, I explore our quest for healing and ways for others to embrace freedom from fear too.

South Africa and the world battles with fear

South Africa is struggling against fear in massive proportions, and this book is a message of hope to our nation and beyond. If I can conquer fear, then you can too. Have a look at the social media posts, the news, and pay attention to the messages you receive. I bet most are fear-based or promote fear-mongering. What can we do to share hope instead?

Our family carries creativity as a high value. It’s something we try to cultivate – and that in itself requires courage. One of our dear friends is Duncan Stewart. In collaboration in this book, he generously shared over ten of his artworks for each chapter. Every image in Courage in the Fire is both thought-provoking and profound.

This picture is for Chapter Two: What is fear? I’d love to know what you think of it. For more about Duncan, please visit his website.

The dream in my heart for this book is that it is used as a tool to set all who read it free from fear – a big dream for sure. I wrote it to breathe hope and freedom from fear into the hearts of every single reader.

Beauty can emerge from ashes; a joy-filled life can develop from a fear-driven life. 

Courage in the Fire will inspire freedom from fear

In this book, you will discover many things. Among them being:

The difference between fear and danger.
Ways to uncover and face your fears. 
By reading it, the lies intent on holding you captive, isolated, or anxious will be exposed.
I offer helpful tools to walk into freedom.
You will be equipped you with rhythms to live a full life.

Courage is much more exhilarating than fear. When you overcome your fears, you can pursue meaningful relationships, explore the unknown, take the plunge into a new business venture, be healthier and live your best life yet.

To get this book at a launch price of R100 type in the coupon code: Lockdown and it’s yours immediately. Why did I do that? Almost a third of the world is in lockdown right now and has time on their hands. I reckon that more than a third of the world battles with fear right now and believe that this book can make a difference in the lives of all who read it. Love conquers fear because fear involves torment. And it’s tiime for tormet to flee.

Would you like to join me in becoming a fear fighter and live a life of love?

#fearfighter

 

P.S. If you’d like to journey on a three-day devotional, then click on this link. I wrote one for YouVersion, and it’s free.  

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List of blogs

What’s the big deal about Courage in the Fire?


Now is the time. What are you going to do?


Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive


Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Categories
FearLess

Guest Post

Parenting with Courage

The post What’s the big deal about Courage in the Fire? appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Now is the time. What are you going to do?

Guest Post by Ilse van den Berg

 

On 5 July 1942, a young teenager, along with her family and some close friends, entered an uncertain and understandably fearful period of “lockdown”. 

Can you imagine staying in your home, not setting a foot out the door for seven days? How about 14 days? Could you see yourself house-bound for 30 days or even 60? I think we can agree that it’d be nearly impossible to imagine staying inside your home for 730 days. But Anne Frank and her family and loved ones did it because it was the time to do so, under the circumstances. 

I’m by no means trying to draw a parallel between Nazi occupation, racism or injustice and the situation we find ourselves in with the COVID-19 crisis. The two scenarios can never be compared. I’m also not saying we will ever be in the same sort of isolation or “lockdown”. I am, however, trying to highlight human perseverance and courage—two things which I think will be imperative in the coming days, weeks, and even months. 

Time to stay home.

I’ve been thinking a lot about how in the past, and still in this day and age, in many nations across the world, people are called to leave their families and loved ones and go to war. Perhaps it sounds dramatic, and bear with me if it does, but I also see the situation we as a global population is in right now with COVID-19, as a war. But instead of greeting loved ones, getting weapons and gear ready and making our way to the frontline, right now, we are called to stay home. To stay put. To give others a chance to survive and overcome this thing. 

Now is not the time to give in to fear and panic. Instead, it is time to stay level-headed and strong. Now is the time to count our blessings. Now is the time to rediscover what family means. It is the time to play card games, board games, have family dinners, and to talk about what’s going on in each other’s lives. 

Now is the time.

Now is the time to discover God, to talk with Him, to ask Him what His plan and purposes are in this time of chaos. Now is the time to spend time in the Word, to remind yourself of His promises. Now is also really the time to intercede for other people, for the nations.

Yes, now is also the time to relax, to destress, to watch movies, series, documentaries, and play video games. But more than that, now is the time to get creative, to be strategic. 

The future depends on what we do today. It depends on what we do with what we have in our hands right now. You might not have work, finances, or a social life right now. But what you do have is TIME—the most precious and rare resource in life. 

Now is a good time to think of ways we are going to build our societies up again after all this is over. Because this, too, shall pass. And when it does, there will be a considerable need for positivity, creativity, and community. Now is an opportunity to reevaluate and reinvent so that when the time comes, we can rebuild.

Let’s see how we can use this time for the good of humanity and to expand God’s Kingdom here on earth. 

Ilse van den Berg is a South African freelance writer and editor with a passion for people and their stories. She believes stories shape us and that they also have the power to change us. She loves travelling as it forces her out of her comfort zone to experience different cultures and meet diverse people. To get in touch with Ilse have a look at her website, WordUp Communication

 

 

Other Images courtesy of UnSplash

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List of blogs

Now is the time. What are you going to do?


Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive


Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Insight can produce sparkle in your life


Categories
FearLess

Guest Post

Parenting with Courage

The post Now is the time. What are you going to do? appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive

“Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you.” – Princess Diana

 

One word: Surreal.

That is what this past week has felt like for us all. In just one minute, everything changes. We are asked to self-isolate for two weeks if we’re feeling ill, and now we are to practice social distancing. And fear moved it. Fear is like a smoke-screen, blinding you and rendering you breathless.

Among the news reports and social media posts, we weave in and out of fear, denial and even anger. The Coronavirus is a gauntlet of trials. In this blog post, I’d like to explore how we can embrace love in a time of fear, lean into connection in a time of isolation, and move towards generosity in a time of gathering.

Every single day brings with it new opportunities, but also fresh challenges. The Coronavirus will forever mark 2020, and the world is about to reset everything. The way we do life is changing.

Since creation, events like this have marked times and nations.

Around 430 BC, not long after a war between Athens and Sparta began, an epidemic ravaged the people of Athens and lasted for five years. Some estimates put the death toll as high as 100 000 people.

The Black Death (1346-1353) travelled from Asia to Europe, leaving devastation in its wake. A bacterial strain spread by fleas on infected rodents was said to have wiped out over half of Europe’s population. It was so severe that they buried the bodies of victims in mass graves.

My Scottish great-grandfather died in the 1889-1890 flu pandemic. It’s part of our family’s story. I found out recently that he was buried in Port Elizabeth, South Africa. This flu pandemic killed about 1 million people. It took just five weeks for the epidemic to reach peak mortality. The virus spread rapidly throughout St. Petersburg before it quickly made its way throughout Europe and the rest of the world. This happened even though air travel didn’t exist yet.

There were other pandemics, but now in 2020, we face something new.

How will we as humankind respond? How will you live now that everything has changed? The one thing I learned after experiencing a traumatic armed robbery is that when something dramatic happens, you can never go back to how you were before.

You change.

The way you see the world has changed.

My question is this: During this time of social distancing, can you maintain emotional health and physical strength? How can you thrive as you adapt?

Embrace love in a time of fear

Ever since I was young, I keep circling back to living a life of love. I don’t always get it right, but it’s something that occupies my thoughts. I keep on asking how it is possible. Love quietens our fear, it calms our racing hearts, and it settles our souls.

“If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: in this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us. 1 John 4: 15-19

In a recent devotional, Pete Greig, wrote this: Everywhere I look right now I encounter fear. The news is scary. There is fear in peoples’ eyes. But the apostle John says that God’s ‘perfect love drives out fear’. The Greek word for driving out here is ‘ballei’. It’s the same word used of Jesus driving out the money-lenders from the temple, and casting demons out of the oppressed. It’s forceful. Love doesn’t just soothe our fear. It isn’t polite. There is a violence about the way it kicks terror out of our hearts and minds. It’s important to face the facts, even when they are scary, but even more important to focus on the ultimate and enduring reality of God’s love.”

What does practical love look like today?

It might mean being extra kind to that family member that irritates you. Or even giving yourself room to grieve a few things. How can you be love in action today?

Lean into connection in a time of isolation.

Now, this can be tricky. I noticed that it is far easier to look into a little screen than intentionally engage with my family. I adore my children and husband, but it’s far more enticing to get caught up in the latest news, comments on social media and happenings out there. This challenge to lean into connection speaks to me as much as it does to you. Today, I choose to engage more intentionally with my family (and even play more with my two Scotties). I will choose to put my fingers in the soil and garden, sit outside and listen.

Just yesterday, my husband, Neil, commented: “Look at this chameleon. It’s amazing what you see and hear when you are still. When you watch and listen.” Let us slow down enough to become aware of our breathing, of the surrounding noises, of the needs of our family and friends. And let us reach out to those we can.

Move towards generosity in a time of stockpiling.

A friend forwarded a video of her sister in California walking through a grocery store where the shelves are empty. On social media, I notice posts about how being able to self-isolate or practice social distancing is more accessible for those who are wealthier. What about those in townships or crowded communities…life is that much harder and perhaps scarier?

What can you do to practice generosity of heart? This thought continually challenges me. My accountability action is to find out about the local initiatives in my area and get on board. Would you like to join me? Wherever you are in the world, reach out and give.

Offer to buy food for anyone you know who is at higher risk. Reach out on your community WhatsApp groups or contact your elderly neighbour and offer support. Take a step towards generosity and see what will happen.

If you have any ideas about how to practice these three rhythms, I’d love to hear from you and learn from you. Please send me an email or comment below.

P.S. If you’d like to journey on a three-day devotional, then click on this link. I wrote one for YouVersion, and it’s free.

Images courtesy of Unsplash and info about the pandemics from https://www.livescience.com/worst-epi...

  

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List of blogs

Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive


Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Insight can produce sparkle in your life


Wisdom opens the door to fearless living


Categories
FearLess

Parenting with Courage

The post Love, connect and give: 3 ways to thrive appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news

Let kindness lead you when you hear scary news reports.

Fear and anxiety can escalate when one reads news reports on the Coronavirus, fires across the planet, gender-based violence and more. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming and often I’m at a loss for words. When I read the stories, my heart aches for the pain all over the world. It’s important to guard one’s heart, but also to keep it soft and remember kindness.

Kindness softens the blows, and it gives us pause to take stock of what is going on around us at the moment.

If you’re anything like me, then all this talk can cause my thoughts to travel in a thousand different directions. Just spend ten minutes searching online, and you will find thousands of fear-mongering posts, inaccurate information and fear-driven posts. How do I really know what’s real or not?

How can I differentiate between biased online posts and false news? The world we live in breeds fake news. It’s part of the sign of the times.

 

How to handle fearful news without being anxious

In this post, I’d like to give you a few pointers on how to navigate the news we hear and our heart’s response. The difference between fear and danger is to be noted here.

Danger is defined as a possibility that something harmful or unpleasant will happen or a person or thing that causes harm.

Whereas fear is an emotional and a physical reaction to a situation you are in or could be in. It can also be defined as an emotion caused by anxiety or the uneasiness of being afraid of something or someone. Another website describes fear as a feeling of anxiety and agitation caused by the presence or nearness of danger, evil, pain.

Fear provokes a response – bottom line. However, we don’t have to give in to fear, but rather use it to move us (to action, prayer, conversation, deep thinking).

 Here are a few guidelines to keep fear & anxiety at bay and maintain joy, peace and hope in your life.
 
 Firstly, exercise clear thinking and a sound mind.

 

In Chapter 6 from my book, Courage in the Fire, I write:

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss Psychiatrist, wrote: “There are only two emotions: love and fear. All positive emotions come from love, all negative emotions from fear. From love flows happiness, contentment, peace, and joy. From fear comes anger, hate, anxiety and guilt. It’s true that there are only two primary emotions, love and fear. But it’s more accurate to say that there is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together at exactly the same time. They’re opposites. If we’re in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we’re in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear.” 

 

And finally, this verse reminds us that God has given us a sound mind. In some versions, it says that He has given us a spirit of self-discipline. In Greek, the transliteration is ‘sōphronismou’. The meaning of this word conveys the thoughts of self-control, self-discipline, sound judgement and prudence. It leads us to the image of being safe-minded and appropriately acting out God’s will by doing what He calls sound reasoning/sound minded. To me, this speaks of thinking full, clear thoughts and making wise decisions. The one who has a sound mind is sensibly minded and balanced. Embrace your God-given mind. 

And so I ask you, how can you exercise clear-thinking as you go about your day? 

 
Secondly, check your news sources.

Find out which are the reputable sources out there. Just because it is online, doesn’t mean that it is true. For example, the World Health Organisation (WHO) post regular updates on the Corona Virus. 

Tony Rogers on Thoughtco has this to say: Look for established institutions, sites with expertise, beware of bias, check the date and avoid anonymous authors. Check the links because reputable websites often link to each other.

 
Thirdly, process your visceral reactions to the news reports.

Pay attention to the emotions the news evokes. Does it make you feel anxious, angry or fearful? Your body is a good reflection of what is going on inside of you. Then, think about why you feel that way. What can you do to restore calm on the inside of you? Think through these things, pray and ask the Lord for wisdom regarding your responses.

 
Fourth, make a wise choice.

Decide that you will not give in to fear-mongering or entertain a pathway of thoughts that lead you into fear’s cave. Remember, fear’s aim is to isolate, paralyse and rob you of your joy. That, my friend, will not happen. We will not let fear have the final word!

 
 Fifth, turn your heart to trust in God.

Cast your cares and worries on the Lord. Soak them in and read them over and over again. Let these thoughts become familiar thoughts, and you will find your anxiety diminish and fear recede.

My friend, Sally McClung, had this to say in one of her newsletters at the end of 2019:  “I had such an encouraging sense that God understands our fears…I think God understands when we go through our own unusual circumstances that we may have fear. I’ve had a number of fearful moments on this unexpected journey we’re on – I still have them come up. I haven’t had an angel appear and tell me all is well – but I have definitely had the sweet comfort of the Holy Spirit encouraging me that God is with me. His presence has been with me moment by moment. He has lifted fear and anxiety from my heart and given me His peace. He has never left me alone to face the situations that provoked my fear.”

 
Finally, be encouraged with these verses from the Bible on worry, anxiety and fear.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” Paul writes in Philippains 4:6-7

“Do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?” Jesus, in Luke 12:22-26

“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The Lord is with me; he is my helper.” reminds the Psalmist in Psalm 118:6-7

 

Please let me know what you think. If you have any tips on how to combat fear, please leave a comment below. 

If you’d like to know more about Courage in the Fire, then sign up here, and I’ll tell you as soon as I have more news. You can always email me to book a speaking engagement, or if you’d like to host a book launch in your town. I’d love to hear from you.

 

 

 

 

 

Two images of the women are courtesy of Unsplash

 

  

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List of blogs

Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news


Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Insight can produce sparkle in your life


Wisdom opens the door to fearless living


Fathers can change the world


Categories
FearLess

Parenting with Courage

The post Fear & anxiety fueled by Corona Virus news appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Why did I write a book on fear?

Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.” Rudyard Kipling

 

Fear is on the increase. Look around you – fear is wreaking havoc in lives all over the world. No mountaintop comes without the challenge of climbing over obstacles. And although I would love for life to be easy – it never is. Life seems too comfortable, then hard, then smooth and messy in-between. It’s the challenges, the hardships, the pain and the trials that shape us into who we are. I don’t particularly like pain, and I don’t think you do too. During tough times, our character grows, and strength develops.

Don’t let fear have the final say in your life.

Over the past few years, a dream birthed in my heart – to see people freed from the chains of fear. Because of this desire, I wrote a book, Courage in the Fire (Overcoming a fear-driven life). I discovered that courage is much more exhilarating than fear. With faith in my heart, trust in the Lord and help from others, I could overcome fear.  

A book on fear? How did that come about?

A few years back, my children and I were involved in an armed robbery in our home while my husband was on a missions trip. The aftermath was that fear started having a field day in my life. I wondered if life would ever return to normal. I discovered that after trauma, life can never go back to the way it was before. You are forever changed. I didn’t have control over what happened, but I did have a say about how I was to navigate today and the tomorrows that followed.

You are not alone! If you are battling with any form of fear, I know that you can defeat it too. It just takes time.  

It surprised me to discover that God not only healed me from the fear that arose after that traumatic night, but He healed me from other unknown fears lurking in my life. I write about that as well in the book. Through the tender care of others and experiencing God’s calming love, healing came – and it took longer than I expected – and joy followed.

A few months before the robbery, the mountainside around our home was ablaze with flames. The fire devastated the landscape, however; I discovered that specific proteas needed the extreme heat to germinate. Even though my family and I went through the ‘fire,’ I felt the Lord say to me that if we allowed Him to heal us, our lives could be more beautiful had we not gone through the fire. 

Freedom – a heart’s message.

Throughout the book, I speak about this message that’s embedded deep in my heart. If you allow God to heal your heart from fear and then renew your thinking, your life can be more beautiful than you ever imagined. Fear doesn’t stand a chance when you stand in God’s love!

A friend gave me this painting to remind me that beauty can come after fire. Painting by Kim Black

John Thomas, Chairman of Living Hope: Bringing hope, breaking despair who wrote in the foreword, “Fear is something every one of us struggles with, whether it is an underlying never-ending fear or a momentary fear prompted by some event, or perhaps it is a profound trauma in which the pain and deep anxiety has a total grip over your life.”

I decided initially to write this book as a cathartic measure for healing in my life. What started as the processing of my pain, evolved into a book that I believe will bring healing in many lives in the days that will come.

The antidote to fear is love and faith. We can stand up and conquer fear – it is possible and our lives will be that much richer for it. Therefore, this book is an invitation to you – will you pick it up and conquer that which is holding you back?

I’ve hidden this book in my heart for over two years, waiting on the timing for its release. Over this time, waiting has become something that I’m learning to become more comfortable with. For those who know me, know that I love to activate ideas – immediately and therefore, this season of waiting has been one of the greatest gifts. For in the waiting, healing can grow, restoration is fulfilled, and joy abounds. 

In an excerpt from the book, I write: “The hardships we endure can shape our character into something far more beautiful and stronger than we could’ve imagined, if only we allow healing to take place. For so long, fear held me captive. Repeatedly, I wrestled and struggled against its effects. But for years, fear lay hidden, subtly influencing my thoughts, words and actions. Only once I figured out what held me back in different areas of my life was I ready to stand up and fight for freedom.”

What dreams are you hiding in your heart? It’s time to dream again and now is the day to write it down or tell someone. Waiting for the release and its timing is vital, but preparation can still take place in the background.

If you’d like to know more about Courage in the Fire, then sign up here, and I’ll tell you as soon as I have more news. You can always email me to book a speaking engagement, or if you’d like to host a book launch in your town. I’d love to hear from you.

 

  

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List of blogs

Why did I write a book on fear?


Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Insight can produce sparkle in your life


Wisdom opens the door to fearless living


Fathers can change the world


What I learned about fear and trauma


Categories
FearLess

Parenting with Courage

The post Why did I write a book on fear? appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Food for living fearlessly

Food is necessary for life. Our body, soul and spirit all need sustenance, therefore grow in intentionality in making choices that lead to life, peace and joy. 

 

While scrolling through Instagram the other day, I read a saying that went something like this: “What you consume in private will be seen in public”. Oh my! This was an intriguing thought. 

Whatever we consume, be it food for the body, input for our mind, our emotions, and even spiritual nourishment will eventually emerge into our public life. 

FOOD FOR THE BODY

I remember that when my children were young; I used to encourage them to eat the kind of food that would support and strengthen their bodies. They played a fair amount of sport and needed food to keep them going throughout the day. The analogy of having the right kind of fuel in your petrol tank made sense. I spoke to them that the food they eat is the fuel and they need enough in the tank to keep going. Scrolling through social media, I find plenty of diets, get fit courses and latest fads advertised.

What we eat in private will show up in our bodies in public. 

FOOD FOR YOUR MIND

We feed our minds all the time. What we consume shapes our thought life. I’ve heard it said that thoughts occupy mental real estate. These thoughts take up space – and neuroscience proves that our thought life shapes our brain (literally). Simply put, the ideas we feed on and allow to flow through our minds shape our lives. They impact our sense of well-being and even our physical and mental health. 

Have you considered the thoughts that you allow to roam freely across the terrain of your mind? What kind of processes traverses the landscape of your soul? Are you feeding them the right type of food?

The Bible speaks about this in many places. One such a passage even says, “for as he thinks within himself, so is he.”

Mental food includes social media, reading material, conversations we have, the programmes we watch and what we listen to as we go through our day. What we allow through our eyes and ears travel into our minds.

Do you need a mental detox? Have a virtual clean-out of that which you consume because what you feed your mind comes out in your words, actions, and choices.

How can feeding fear impact your life?

Perhaps you struggle with the debilitating thoughts that you are not good enough. Maybe school was difficult for you and your parents, teachers, or friends belittled you and said that you were not smart or talented and you believed their words. These thoughts were like seeds and produced fruit in your life.

Fear of failure became an issue, so you decided not even to try, or perhaps you channelled these fears into performance, and it emerged as a driving ambition – tiring yourself and all around you. This mantra that you need to show everyone you are enough impacts your words, spending patterns, relationships and career. What if you consumed the right kind of ‘food’ and returned to healthy thinking patterns?

In 1 Timothy 1:17 where Paul writes that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love and a sound mind. This word ‘sound mind’ refers to the Greek word “Sophronismos” that means clear, sensible thinking. It’s a call to soundness of mind. You can think accurately and clearly about yourself as you renew your mind with the Word of God and you being to think ‘sensibly’ about yourself and the world around you.

FOOD FOR YOUR EMOTIONS

Emotions are valid. They are indicators of what is going on inside of us. There is no bad emotion. It is our response to these emotions that are either healthy or detrimental to our well-being. What are you feeding your feelings? Are you allowing them to lead your life, or can you bring them under control?

Emotions are fickle and can change based on your mood, your physical sugar levels and mental well-being. Our body affects our emotions; our relationships influence them as well. Become emotionally aware – realize that what you feed your emotions through your thoughts, nutrition, self-control, and even social media will eventually trickle into your daily life.

Remember, it is our response to what we feel that makes all the difference. Emotions are indicators that something is going on, and we would do well to pay attention to them.

FOOD FOR YOUR SPIRIT

What are you feeding your inner man? For example, unforgiveness can hurt us. Its effect permeates into our emotions and our bodies. Are you feeding on words of forgiveness and consuming nutritious spiritual food to help you? That which is unseen always emerges into the seen. The ways of God work in the invisible realm and into the visible.

Here, we have a choice to make – will we feed our spirit’s that which is for building up and not breaking down. I found that when I struggled with the fear of violence as I overcame the trauma from the armed robbery, I would need to spend some time in prayer and solitude. It was in those moments that God healed my heart and soul. It was something that I sought to do regularly and still do.

Therefore, consider the food that we consume in private. My hope for you is that your private and public life be the same.

Here are a few simple hacks to help you keep on growing:

Decide what your values are. Then choose to live authentically by making choices in line with your values.

Break your goals up into bite-sized chunks. Don’t overwhelm yourself and change everything all at the same time. Tackle your goals one step at a time. 

Stay fed and hydrated. Think about it in terms of your body, soul, and spirit.

Keep tabs on your emotional state. Think about how you’re feeling throughout the day. Become aware.

Make time to rest in prayer and contemplation. Spend a few minutes reading the Bible every single day and watch your life begin to change.

 

  

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List of blogs

Food for living fearlessly


Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Insight can produce sparkle in your life


Wisdom opens the door to fearless living


Fathers can change the world


What I learned about fear and trauma


Three ways to parent intentionally and care for yourself


Categories
FearLess

Parenting with Courage

The post Food for living fearlessly appeared first on Mandi Hart.

Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness

If you want to live fully alive, then realise that your happiness is not dependent on your child’s state of joy. You are responsible for your own sense of well-being while parenting with intentional love.

 

Does your state of happiness seem to fluctuate based on how your children come home from school? If they are happy, do you find that your joy level soars? What about when they struggle with depression or peer relationships? It’s not always easy to separate our emotional well-being from our children, but it’s oh so necessary.

Every single person has to answer four questions during their lifetime:

Who am I?

Who is God?

Who are my people?

What is my purpose?

Now, these are deep questions that require consideration but I think that many parents, particularly mothers, get stuck on the final question. What is my purpose? This blog post, although written from a mom’s perspective, could apply to many dads as well.

Purpose and happiness confusion

It is easy to confuse your purpose with your child’s degree of happiness. When I speak of happiness, I mean a sense of well-being, joy, or contentment. If your son or daughter is content or full of joy, you can quickly feel the same. But, what if your child is struggling or hurting? How is your sense of joy affected by their state of being?

Your job as a parent is not to make your children happy, and your happiness is not directly proportional to their happiness.

One of your roles is to draw out their specific and unique gifts or talents. Repeat after me: “I am not here for the sole purpose of making my children happy.”

A controversial feature of modern parenting is ‘child-centrism,’ the tendency for parents to prioritise their children’s well-being above their own. Whilst parenting involves sacrifice, it doesn’t require you to sacrifice your joy. Your children will thrive as you thrive. I come to realise that many times I have tried to make them happy, thinking that we will all be happier. It’s not true.

Their happiness level is not a yardstick of your parenting ability. Your purpose in life is to be fully you – bringing glory to God. When your children grow up and fulfil their God-given destiny, then they will walk in greater degrees of joy.

Boundaries can guide parents

Just recently, I spoke on the radio about boundaries. Boundaries define what is me and what is not me. I am separate from my son and daughter. This doesn’t mean that I distance myself or disconnect from them. Instead, I realise that I am not responsible for my children’s feelings. My happiness is not conditional on their happiness.

Every single child is alive because it is their time to shape generations to come. Their lives are one of purpose, and we have the privilege to help shape how they develop as they mature. As a parent, I am here to help them discover who God is for themselves and for them to be who they were made to be.

My job is not to make my children happy

I am responsible for being the very best mom to them that I can be. I am not responsible for them or even all of their choices. Should one of my children decide not to study and do poorly in their exams, they will bear the consequences of that choice. Let’s say they come home telling me of a fight they had with a friend. Again, it’s not my battle to own. I can talk, guide, counsel, and pray, but they have to choose to be a friend and learn to resolve conflict.  When I establish healthy boundaries around the way I parent, I teach my children responsibility and self-control.

My job is not to make my children happy. I am here to love and shepherd them, choosing to empower and train them in their unique bent and direction. And then, I have to let go. And I have to trust. My joy level is not directly proportional to their joy level.

Top tips to encourage you today if you find that your happiness fluctuates based on your child’s emotions:

Do you know who you are? Discover who you are, the things that bring you joy, your gifts, and talents. Then, live fully alive.

Give your children back to God. He loves them even more than you do. Ask God to give you wisdom and insight into their personality, love languages, gifts and talents.

Look at how you are parenting at the moment. Are you hovering, too involved or not involved enough?

Do you need to realise for yourself that your happiness is not dependent on your child’s success or happiness? What can you do so that this truth becomes a deep understanding?

How can you love yourself and your children in a way that is releasing and empowering?

Parenting is an intentional journey towards raising adults. But don’t forget that you are you! “Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! “Dr Seuss.

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List of blogs

Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness


Fresh wineskins for the new wine


Practice courage and see your life thrive


Love-based vs fear-driven parenting shapes families


Grief changes us and so does love


Five things to remember when life feels too much


Anxiety and depression interrupted in four simple ways


Why parents matter


Curiosity quest leads to conquering fear


Parenting with expectations – helpful or not?


Expect the unexpected and learn to thrive


Five fearless habits that can change your life


Future-proof your children to thrive in life


Fearless women can change the world


Insight can produce sparkle in your life


Wisdom opens the door to fearless living


Fathers can change the world


What I learned about fear and trauma


Three ways to parent intentionally and care for yourself


Uncover the season you are in to live well


Categories
FearLess

Parenting with Courage

The post Your happiness is not directly proportional to your child’s happiness appeared first on Mandi Hart.