Mandi Hart's Blog, page 8
May 15, 2019
Make memories that can last a lifetime
As a mom of two teens, I know that my time with them is short. In fact, they are on the runway of life about to take off.
Memories warm you up on the inside. They make our lives so much more vibrant. These memories are made up of unpredictable, planned, and sometimes surprising moments The true art of making a memory is the art of paying attention.
How can you create more moments that become memories with your children?
Firstly, be intentional about making memories.
This can be something simple such as a weekly dinner ritual. One mom told me that when her children were young, they would sit outside every Friday evening on a picnic blanket and eat hotdogs. She said that it wasn’t fancy, but now more than ten years later, her daughters still talk about the fun they all had on those Friday nights.
Secondly, say ‘yes’ to as much as you can.
It’s much easier to say ‘no’ when our children ask things of us that put us out. For example, it’s raining outside, and your children want to walk and splash in the puddles. Before you say ‘no,’ think again. Why do you want to say ‘no’? Is it valid, or does it roll off your tongue before you blink?
Thirdly, look at your children and take notice of what makes their eyes sparkle.
Then, take time to create a moment. It could be something such as watching their sporting matches, taking your child to attend a ballet, baking biscuits together, or merely snuggling while watching a movie. When you reach out and love your children this way, they will remember it for a long time.
One of the memories that I treasure is our last lunch with my Dad before he passed away. He came to visit us about six months before he died. I cooked up a feast in preparation for our lunch. He had cancer I knew this would be the final time, he would see his grandkids. It was a bittersweet moment, but a memory that I carry with me.
“There are moments when I wish I could roll back the clock and take all the sadness away, but I have the feeling that if I did, the joy would be gone as well.” ― Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember
Another memory that is built on repetition is our daily swims in the Indian Ocean during our December family holidays at a remote spot called Haga Haga. We’ve been going there for over 20 years, and my children associate Haga Haga with family holidays, quiet and distinctive moments. It’s so special that these swims have become a Hart family tradition.
So what are the components of memory?
I created formula recently to help you remember what you need to have in place when making a memory.
(people + place + a shared experience) emotion = memory
Let’s dissect it.
You need more than one person around you.
Then be in a common place together.
Combine that with a shared experience – engage your senses as well.
Multiply those three with an emotion (joy, sadness, excitement, hope, tenderness, freedom, love, and the list goes on).
Then, let it all mix together and form something we call a memory.
Memories to last a lifetime
Think about it. These shared experiences (good or bad) can last a lifetime in our hearts, and they become treasures we release our children into the world.
Our memories take us back to those moments. They are the gems in our treasure box and even Taylor Swift reminisces about memories too.
“I’ve apparently been the victim of growing up, which apparently happens to all of us at one point or another. It’s been going on for quite some time now, without me knowing it. I’ve found that growing up can mean a lot of things. For me, it doesn’t mean I should become somebody completely new and stop loving the things I used to love. It means I’ve just added more things to my list. Like for example, I’m still beyond obsessed with the winter season and I still start putting up strings of lights in September… I love the freedom of living alone, but I also love things that make me feel seven again. Back then naivety was the norm and skepticism was a foreign language, and I just think every once in a while you need fries and a chocolate milkshake and your mom. I love picking up a cookbook and closing my eyes and opening it to a random page, then attempting to make that recipe. … I’ll never go a day without thinking about our memories together.” ― Taylor Swift, Taylor Swift
For in year’s to come I wish to remember days such as these.
Let me know what are one or two of your most treasured memories? Please comment below, I’d love to hear from you.
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List of blogs
Make memories that can last a lifetime
Grit can grow giant killers
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post Make memories that can last a lifetime appeared first on Mandi Hart.
May 7, 2019
Grit can grow giant killers
Grit: four little letters that can make a huge difference in your life.
You know you have to stand up and take notice when this word seems to be appearing in so many different places. Recently, an email popped up about blog I follow called Grit & Virtue, then I picked up a book with the title, Grit, at a tiny airport book shop in Mombasa, Kenya and I also received a pair of socks from the Grit & Grace range.
What is grit?
Described as courage and resolve or even strength of character, grit packs a punch. It has a sense of determination about it, a certain tenacity to persevere.
Indeed, some people seem to be born with it, but it is also a trait that we can cultivate.
In truth, this world needs more people with grit. Why do we need it? Everyone faces hardships and challenges. It’s so easy to give up, but much harder to get up again after dealing with a loss, anxiety, depression or fear.
If you are facing a Goliath, then there must be a giant slayer inside of you.
We will all face various giants in our lives. By giants, I mean those challenges or obstacles that seem insurmountable. Things that we think we cannot overcome: things such as fear, loss, breakdown of relationships, financial difficulties, disappointments or setbacks. Furthermore, they could come in the form of a person that slandered you or the health issues that doesn’t seem to go away.
These giants seem to be on a mission to destroy your life. On the contrary, they don’t need to cause us to fall or keep us down. We can defeat them, but we do need to know how.
Firstly, whose report will you believe?
When the Israelites sent ten men into the promised land many, many years ago, their goal was to spy out the area and bring news back with them. Unfortunately, mixed reports returned. Joshua and Caleb were the only two out of the ten men who came back with positive news.
Their words to Moses went something like this: “We went to the land where you sent us. It really is a land flowing with milk and honey. Here’s some of its fruit. But the people who live there are strong, and the cities have walls and are very large. We even saw the descendants of Anak there. The Amalekites live in the Negev. The Hittites, Jebusites, and Amorites live in the mountain region. And the Canaanites live along the coast of the Mediterranean Sea and all along the Jordan River. Caleb told the people to be quiet and listen to Moses. Caleb said, “Let’s go now and take possession of the land. We should be more than able to conquer it.” See Numbers 23:13-30
We read that they saw the giants in the land, but they also looked with the eyes of faith and hope. Can we say like Caleb said: “Let’s go now…we should be more than able to conquer it.”
“Thinking will not overcome fear but action will.” – W. Clement Stone
Secondly, where does your strength lie?
If we read the story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, we see that David never relied on his own strength to conquer the giant. Whatever you are facing, you need something more than just your own ability, you need grit. Plus you need the strength that God can give you to overcome.
In today’s language, Angela Duckworth says: “Grit, in a word, is stamina. But it’s not just stamina in your effort. It’s also stamina in your direction, stamina in your interests.” We need to know which battles are ours to fight and which are not. We persevere until we have overcome.
Thirdly, David showed up.
David arrived at the battlefield initially to check up on his brothers. But, when he discovered the current state of affairs, he decided to show up for the battle. When you face your fears, anxiety or any other giant, show up and be present. David was a man of purpose. As a result, his conviction that his life mattered, set him on a course collision with a giant. Your life matters; you have a purpose. Moreover, use that conviction to stir up courage and hope.
Fourth, he fought the battle in the way he had been trained.
David never wore another person’s armor or fought in a different way to what he knew how. He fought in the way that he had been used to fighting. Your battle is unique. Fight it in the way the Lord has trained you. Therefore, use the weapons at your disposal. Improvise and use what you have.
Finally, David didn’t retreat.
In the face of the mockery he received from his enemy, David stood firm and then he advanced. We read that Goliath came out every day (for 40 days) taunting the Israelites. He shouted at them, insulted and threatened them. Paralyzed with fear, the Israelites didn’t know what to do. When David saw what was happening, he stirred up his faith, and then he advanced. “As the Philistine moved closer to attack him, David ran quickly toward the battle line to meet him.” See 1 Samuel 17:48.
Are you listening to the mocking words from your enemies? What do you do need to do to advance?
Fear will continue to paralyze you – this giant will try to keep you locked in a state of confusion, isolation or immobility. Learn from Joshua, Caleb, and David. Consequently, face your giants, use your weapons and fight.
When I was struggling with the giant of fear after the armed robbery, I realized that I couldn’t conquer it on my own. I needed grit, the Lord’s help, and I needed others around me to help me too. Couple faith and hope with action so that you can defeat your Goliath.
Your greatest tests produce powerful testimonies, and your greatest trials can produce your greatest victories.
Your most significant moments in the fire forge depth of character.
Don’t give up!
These victories become stepping stones into a deeper walk with the Lord, into a more resilient life on earth and greater freedom!
I’d love to know what you think? How can you develop grit in your life? Please leave a comment below.
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List of blogs
Grit can grow giant killers
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post Grit can grow giant killers appeared first on Mandi Hart.
April 28, 2019
Think right, live right
Have you thought about what you think about? Your thoughts are powerful. They can impact your life and make all the difference in how you live.
The thoughts we believe and entertain have the power to shape our emotions, our attitudes, our words, and our actions. To illustrate further, how we think can lead us down a path of life and hope, or death and destruction. I know that this sounds dramatic, but one of these two options will be the ultimate outcome.
Wisdom emerged long ago from the writer of Proverbs where he cautioned us: “Your words are so powerful that they will kill or give life, and the talkative person will reap the consequences.” Our words originate from our thoughts, not the other way around.
Our internal dialogue is continuously flowing.
The self-help sphere is full of material around this topic. However, the challenge comes in when we try and apply the advice without looking within. We are changed from the inside out. That means that we if we want to learn something new, develop a healthy habit or change certain patterns it has to happen from inside ourselves.
Firstly, we would have to confront unhealthy thought patterns that are instinctive, then bring them to the front of our minds (into the cognitive) and finally consciously renew our minds to think differently.
How can we live without fear and change from the inside out?
Self-talk is the ‘internal dialogue in which individuals interpret feelings and perceptions, regulate and change evaluations and cognitions, and give themselves instruction and reinforcement.’ The Bible speaks into this topic throughout where we learn that how we think shapes our lives.
These Scriptures are full of life-changing power, therefore consider the following passages:
Proverbs 23:7
“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. “Eat and drink!” he says to you, But his heart is not with you.”
And again we read in Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Whatever you think about in your thought life will transfer into your personal and public life.
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So what about the sponge theory?
Whatever the sponge absorbs, when squeezed that is what will come out. If you fill the sponge with milk when pressed milk and not water come out. That’s like our lives and our minds. What we think about, what we absorb, will come out when we are under pressure.
And so, as fallible human beings, our lives are like that sponge. We absorb the words that our parents and teachers speak over us. We incorporate the words from music, movies, our friends, books, and coaches – and without realizing it – we internalize the thread in our internal dialogue. If we are not careful, we can allow the tape of words to run mindlessly in our subconscious. The boundaries around what we believe become blurred. How come is it so easy to believe the worst or think about the negative words spoken to us for hours at a time?
What’s inside comes out under pressure.
The Bible speaks about renewing our mind with the washing of the Word of God. There, when we read about who we are, how loved we are, that we are on earth for a purpose and a destiny, that we eventually start to change. Eventually, we begin to believe a different script. Furthermore, in doing so repent of false thought patterns, and we learn to forgive those who spoke words that would restrict our lives. In other words, we begin to walk in the way of the Kingdom of God and doing so embrace His way of thinking and living. Therefore, we become transformed from the inside out.
Learning to think right is a discipline.
2 Corinthians10:4 & 5
“The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.“
The thoughts that should be taken into captivity are self-defeating thoughts. The ones that are not true, honest, just, pure, lovely, full of fear and not of good report. Be fearless in taking them captive, bind them up and tell them that they are not welcome in your head-space. There is no room for them to settle. Consequently, when you renew your mind, you begin to think right and your life changes.
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What about my emotions?
So when you wake up in the morning and are not feeling so great – what do you believe? Do you think about those feelings or pour yourself a second or third cup of coffee while settling in to accept the self-talk going on inside of you
? Let truth start to lead your emotions and your thought patterns.
This concept is easier for some than others. If we are so conditioned to allow our emotions and subconscious thoughts to rule, then prepare yourself for a battle. A battle of the “two souls’ if you will.
The internal battle
Soul A will say something like this: “I’m not feeling so good. No-one has contacted me or reached out to me. Woe is me. Today is not going to be a good day.”
Soul B will say: “I’m not feeling so good today. Thank you, Lord, for a new day, new opportunities. I know that you love me and that my family loves me. Thank you that I am loved. The truth is that I can think of things are good and excellent and trustworthy. I believe who you say I am more than my feelings or the voices of my past.”
Let truth lead how you feel, how you think and how you respond.
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Thinking is active
Thinking is an action – it’s not a passive activity. It is something that we do, and we can cultivate our thinking muscle.
If you are learning to do this then apply the principle Paul speaks about in Philippians 4 where he lists the things that are good for us to think about regularly. Then Paul gives us the key to unlocking living this way: “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
Paul uses the Greek word, “Prasso” here which means to exercise, practice, to be busy with, carry on, to undertake, to do.” What does it mean to practice something…well, it means to keep on trying and not give up if it doesn’t work out the first time around. You keep on doing it to do it better.
As we go through life, we learn to cultivate discernment and strength of will to allow the truth of God’s word to lead our lives, to govern our emotions and to shape the internal dialogue.
Cultivate your thinking muscle through:
Practice. Practice being thankful, practice thinking about good things and so forth. You can do this through memorizing passages of scripture, speaking your thoughts out loud and repatterning the way you think.
The more you think about a certain thing, the bigger that thought grows. Our thoughts occupy space in our minds and these roads can either grow to become a highway or diminish to a little path.
Think about what you think about. Develop the self-awareness so that you know when you are headed down a negative path.
Write out your thoughts (sometimes this helps) and pray through them. Ask God what His opinion is about what you think about.
Pray for discernment and learn the difference between living a life guided by the Spirit of the Lord or your own thoughts. Remember emotions are good, but they can be untrustworthy.
Thoughts originate from a place of fear or a place of love.
Fear tells you that you are unworthy, unlovable, incapable, ugly, defeated and under its grip. This voice will reinforce the feelings of the fear of being abandoned, of being rejected, of failure and so forth. Whereas love tells you that you are lovable, you are accepted, capable, worthy, beautiful, victorious, free and an overcomer.
Which voice will you believe? Think right and conquer fear. You will be so glad you did. I know I am.
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post Think right, live right appeared first on Mandi Hart.
April 19, 2019
Why your life matters
Why does one’s life matter? I remember struggling with the big questions about life when I was a teenager. There were times when I would look up at the moon and wonder about the purpose of humankind’s existence? Then, my thoughts would shift to how could each of us could matter. When I looked at the moon and thought about us here on earth, I felt incredibly small as such my thoughts rambled around and around in my head until I went to bed.
No matter how small we feel we are, we all have value.
I’m sure that everyone questions their existence as some stage. Everyone wants to know that their life matters, that their life counts and that they are wanted. In other words, that they belong and have a purpose. We all want to know the reason for which we were created or why we exist.
Solomon thought these questions too. He contemplates this thought in Ecclesiastes writing: “Everything is meaningless” and goes on to explain that there isn’t anything new under the sun.
He wanted his life to count.
Your life is so much more than all your struggles.
One of my friends is going through some health and career challenges, and her words to me recently were pretty insightful. “I guess it’s our time to go through some stormy waters.” Everyone goes through stormy waters at some stage. They don’t define our lives, but they do shape them. Our character is shaped during those stormy water times. “For you will certainly carry out God’s purpose, however, you act, but it makes a difference to you whether you serve like Judas or like John,” wrote CS Lewis many years ago.
God sees what you are going through differently to what to see.
He knows that hardship shape character. He also sees you as infinitely valuable. You are worthy of love because you are. You were knit intricately in your mother’s womb, and as such your value, your purpose and destiny are all wrapped up in the fact that you are made in the image of God. Your life reflects something of the uniqueness of God.
Your absence would leave a permanent hole on earth.
Your place here on earth counts. The fact that you are alive at this time in history means that you occupy valuable space. Your life counts. The spirit of fear would come in a try to shoot many arrows into your heart and mind to tell you otherwise. You belong.
In Romans 8, we are reminded that adoption is a beautiful reality. In Christ, we need never fear that we are not enough or unloved. The writer of Romans declares, “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children.”
You are adopted into a new family.
In the ancient Roman world, adoption meant something more than just taking a child into one’s home. When a child was born biologically, the parents had the option of disowning the child. The parent did not necessarily desire their own offspring; the lives in the home were not a given nor permanent. However, an adopted child received many benefits not necessarily given to the biologically born child.
In Rome, adopting meant so much more.
Firstly, that child was freely chosen by the parents, in other words, desired by the parents. Secondly, that specific child would now be a permanent part of the family. The parents could never disown a child they adopted. Thirdly, an adopted child received a new identity. Any prior commitments, responsibilities, and debts were erased; this meant that this boy or girl received new rights and responsibilities.
Another profound aspect was that in ancient Rome, the concept of inheritance was part of life. Being adopted made someone an heir to their father, joint-sharers in all his possessions and wholly united to him. Those were the benefits of being chosen to be adopted into a family.
What does that mean for you?
This beautiful reality is available for you to receive: You are wanted, you are loved, and you are adopted into God’s kingdom with full rights as a child of God. We are “co-heirs with Christ” (Rom 8:17) and through Jesus himself, the Son of God, that we are brought into being sons and daughters.
You count.
Your life matters.
Don’t let fear, lies from the enemy, the situation you were born into or any other hardship dictate to you that you don’t matter. You have infinite value.
“Picture God molding you, getting each detail just right: Shaping your nose. Forming your hairline. Giving distinct length and shape to your fingers and toes. Yet after God formed him, the man still wasn’t alive. And that’s where the next distinction comes in. God breathed his own breath into man. At that point, man became a living being. The Bible tells us that God made us in His image. Like God, we create. We strategize. We experience emotions. We have the ability to love. You have a distinct origin. You were created in God’s image. God used these factors to set you apart, to mark you as significant. They separate you from all other created things.” Author John Herrick.
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
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The post Why your life matters appeared first on Mandi Hart.
April 14, 2019
Children heal one’s soul
An English Proverbs says, “The soul is healed by being with children”. Just one hug from a young child or a sloppy kiss from your toddler and you are in love. There is nothing quite as delightful as hearing the gurgle of a child’s laughter.
Pretty soon everyone in the room is smiling or laughing too. The healing of our souls takes place, and we are reminded that that hope is alive.
God reminds us day in and day out that He delights in the innocence of youth, that He has good plans for humankind and that He loves us.
Children are God’s reminder to us that He wants life on earth to continue.
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Our ceiling is their springboard
In an excerpt from my yet to be released second parenting book, I write:
“My spiritual ceiling is my children’s floor. As I contemplated raising my children in a faith-filled home, I realized quickly that their basis for faith started from where I was at right now. My generation experienced God is a specific way. I started following Jesus when I was 17 years old and experienced a sovereign move of God’s Spirit in a way that transformed me forever. Neil and I got married, and after a while, our home was filled with giggles and snuggles. Our son and a daughter. They have never known a home without the peace and presence of God in it. They have grown up with having dreams and visions, with us talking about a living relationship with the creator of heaven and earth. Indeed it is a privilege. My generation’s ceiling has become their springboard into greater things of the Spirit than ever before. “
We see this principle expressed in Scripture. Consider David and Solomon written about in the Old Testament. God spoke to David and told him that it would be his son that would build the temple. So, what did David do? He prepared his son as a Father should for the future. You can read the full story in the books of 1 Kings and 1 Chronicles. As time passes, we learn about David and his son, Solomon, in 1 Chronicles 22: 6-9.
A father’s impact is lasting
A father that treasures his son or daughter and longs to leave a legacy through them is a good father. Secondly, a good father disciplines his children with love and empathy. One of the ways we show love to our children is through wise discipline. To emphasize, discipline isn’t punishment; it’s a correction for future behavior that leads to life.
Thirdly, a good father prays for his children because he loves them. Through prayer, we bring our requests and concerns to our Heavenly Father. He guides us parents with wisdom to raise and release the generation into their purposes and destiny. Love is made manifest through prayer.
Children thrive when they know they belong.
“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick,” explains Brene Brown.
Every person has an inherent need to belong. Belonging is fundamental to our wellbeing. Wise parents create a place of belonging for their children.
In another excerpt, I speak into this thought:
“Contentment and identity are found in belonging. When our children know that they belong and are safe, they can grow and develop into who God made them be. We should find ways to remind our children that they belong – in your home and your hearts. Remind your children that it’s not what they know, but who they are – and that matters more. Remind them that they are loved. They are wanted. They are accepted and that they belong, just by being who they are.”
A mothers view.
To illustrate a mother’s heart, one woman explained, “My worldview sees children as amazing with God-given potential, valued contributors and world-changers. They are our next generation, the leaders of tomorrow. Children are worth the heavy investment. They are a blessing, not the center of the family, but also — an arrow to cultivate. Children are precious and in our care, but they belong to God. Each child is unique; they are highly valued.”
Children are a gift to parents, a treasure and a joy. They are a blessing and not a burden. Another mom exclaimed, “My children are my life’s greatest purpose and calling.”
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
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Parenting with Courage
The post Children heal one’s soul appeared first on Mandi Hart.
April 7, 2019
Whose report will you believe?
People have a lot to say about a lot of different things. But, what will you believe and from what source?
News reports can throw us in a spin
Often, news can rattle our tender hearts and fragile emotions. Fortunately, is a way to navigate the ups and downs that come with life. Colossians 3:15 tells us to “let the peace of God rule our hearts.” In fact, this little word, ‘rule’ literal translations means “to act as arbiter.”
An arbiter is a person who settles a dispute or has ultimate authority in a matter. This means that we can learn to cultivate the ability for peace to be the final authority in your life. In other words, the reports we hear don’t need to unnerve us and cause us to lose our peace. In times like this, we need to let truth lead our emotions.
Emotions and peace.
Emotions are good, but they are fickle. Even so, our emotions can lead us astray; and we can find ourselves on a rollercoaster of ups and downs if we do not allow truth to lead them.
Did you know that peace is an organ of communication in the language of God? If we experience a sense of peace in a specific situation or decision, then that often confirms our route. Conversely, if we are in a position where we feel troubled or caution, then the absence of that peace warrants our attention. Peace is something that we can rely on as a yardstick in our lives.
Peace is one of the ways God communicates with us throughout our lives.
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Peace is there for us to grab hold of every single day.
Case in point: I recently started coughing – a lot! That meant that my poor family was going crazy with my constant hacking. After about five days I went to see a doctor – she prescribed all sorts of medicines but no difference. A week later, I went back to her, and she promptly sent me for lung x-rays. The report came back that the top of my lungs had collapsed! Shock, horror!
My doctor quickly sent me off for an urgent appointment with a pulmonologist. It turns out that the radiologist misread my x-rays and gave a wrong diagnosis. My lungs were clear granted that I had a bad sinus infection. We listened to her advice – she was an expert after all. Although we are thankful that my lungs are clear, we learned a lesson through this experience.
Just because a doctor said something or gave you a report, doesn’t mean it is true.
Just because a teacher gave you a report about your child, doesn’t mean it is true.
Just because an expert says that you will never overcome, be free, get the victory or be delivered does it mean that is true?
What about the news reports? Will you believe all you read?
Don’t get me wrong.I’m not saying that we must ignore teachers, doctors or experts in their fields. Exercise caution and wisdom. in addition to that, take a moment where you can reassess and think again.
We need to bring it before the Lord and ask Him what He has to say about the matter and what should our response be.Keep peace as the judge in your life.
Whose report will you believe?
That got me thinking… whose report do we believe as we go through life? If one negative report from someone we trust or regard as an expert in their field can set us off on a wild goose chase, cause panic or at worst despair, what are we to do?
Let’s look at a few life lessons from my experiences over the years:
With my children
Firstly, my son was born in October (which is late for the school year), and we were advised when he was still a baby that we might need to keep him back because of being born later in the year. As he grew older, we brought it before the Lord. We prayed about it and decided to send him to school with his peer group.
Secondly, when Emily was in Grade One, she struggled to learn to read. It didn’t come naturally to her. The report was that she would continue to battle through her schooling. We sent her for extra lessons, prayed over her, spoke life and today she is an A-grade student in most of her subjects.
Lifestyle reports.
When we gave up our life in Port Elizabeth to move to Cape Town to lead a missions organization. We went from a salaried position to receiving no fixed income for five years. People told us that we were making the worst mistake of our lives, that we were foolish. In short, we chose to trust the Lord and follow what we believed was the call of God on our lives. The very best place to be is in the center of God’s will for your life.
Finally, I was told that I wouldn’t be able to recover from the trauma of the armed robbery fully; that I needed to accept that this is what it is like living in South Africa. Yes, I went through a few tough years, but God has healed my family and me from the effects of that night, and I know that we are stronger than before.
What are you facing today where you might have heard a report from a teacher, a doctor, a friend, an ‘expert’ in their field. What do you believe? In conclusion, how can you allow peace to be an authority in your life so that you come out stronger than before?
Download your personal copy of passages of peace to calm your soul and strengthen your heart.
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post Whose report will you believe? appeared first on Mandi Hart.
March 31, 2019
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Adversity is a brilliant teacher. It takes us through tremendous challenges; the days can be dark but then in a moment, we emerge into the sunlight, a different person.
Adversity has the power to transform, sharpen, break or grow us. However, the difference between one person who thrives at the end of a trying season or the one who gives up is attitude and resilience.
To illustrate this truth, Justine Sim shared her story of bouncing back after four incredibly difficult years. She wrote, “In May of 2012 my life fell apart. Our business went bankrupt. My husband, Dean became depressed and experienced full-blown burnout. The kind where you sit on the couch in silence, not out of choice, but out of stress and exhaustion. We worked stressed, stopped living. In other words, we existed. I was lonely and cried a lot. I even thought that God had abandoned us.”
Adversity comes in different forms.
For Justine and her husband, financial challenges, depression, burn out and paying off debt nearly got the better of them. “After three years our business slowly started turning around, but our lives hadn’t improved much. Dean was still suffering from burnout, but for the first time, we thought we could actually make it work. However, we had ‘lived’ in this mindset for so long that we had forgotten how to actually ‘live.’”
Change starts within.
A glimmer of hope emerged one morning for the two. Change always starts this way. It’s like a little seed that gets planted deep within the soil. After it breaks open the pod, pushes tender shoots through the earth, that we start to see new life. Adversity can breed new life; this process is hard but it can do just that.
One morning Justine turned to Dean and asked ‘Will I ever be happy again?’ and his reply was simple; ‘With true acceptance comes peace.’ That day, my attitude started to change, slowly and I began to make peace with my new normal.”
Instead of giving up, try something new.
“I entered the Spar ladies 5km race. Coupled with being overweight and unfit, I only planned to walk it with a friend. I had always admired folks who participated in sport and enjoyed it, but I struggled to identify the ‘enjoyment’ thereof. Running just seemed a lot like pain to me. During that ladies race, as I walked and talked with my friend I admired the ladies who ran, it looked like they were having so much fun! Consequently, I set a goal for myself; in 2017 I would run the Spar ladies 5km. Hence, I started running. I became determined not to give up because I was going to become a runner.”
New goals breed new hope
Soon Justine and Dean discovered trail running. “One weekend I entered him in a 5km race. He complained all the way there and was mildly annoyed that he had to do it. We ran that race, and Dean was instantly hooked! On the way home, he asked me, please enter him in the next one and so, Dean’s healing from burnout began.”
In 2017 I decided that I was fit enough to give the 10km Spar race a try instead of the 5km. That morning I was nervous and had planned to meet up with two other ladies. Unfortunately, it was freezing and rainy and my friends decided to stay at home. The old me would have turned around and gone home too. However, by now, I had found myself a motivational quote for the year ‘I haven’t come this far only to come this far’. The next thing, I found myself at the start line.”
Allies are essential to help us make it through adverse circumstances
Justine decided to reach out to a running group in her neighborhood. She had decided that she didn’t want to run along. She was serious about this: “I messaged total strangers and asked if I could run with them. The first time I met them was in the pitch dark at 5 am in winter to run 5km. We clicked, and I had running friends! I was beginning to discover that sticking your neck out, beyond what is comfortable can have huge payoffs.”
Life is full of ups and downs.
“Adversity doesn’t play favorites. In 2018, I went for a mammogram. I put on my kit and at the last minute grabbed a new pair of pink Balega running socks with the words ‘courage rules’ across the toes. They are from a limited edition called ‘grit and grace’ made every year in aid of breast cancer awareness and proceeds from their sale are donated towards breast cancer research. My GP didn’t waste time. ‘Your mammogram shows a small mass, but it’s cause for concern, I’ve made an appointment for you with a specialist surgeon, it’s for 2 pm today’.I walked out of the Dr’s rooms and burst into tears in the car park, Dean hugged me & told me ‘Go for that run now, it will be good for you,’ I knew he was right.”
During her run, she said that she smiled at the irony of having put those socks on. “A flippant decision had given me pause for thought, yes, I was brave, I was courageous, and I have nothing to fear. The run was good. I cleared my head & decided that ‘no,’ my life hasn’t ground to a halt; this is one of life’s speed bumps.’ On the run, I decided that I wasn’t going to wallow in self-pity or fear the worst.”
The results: All three samples sent in came back benign!
Know what you can and can’t control.
As Justine reflected on that experience, she concluded with these words: “This may sound silly, but I believe that I was meant to wear those socks on that day. They were a reminder to me that no matter the circumstance or situation, I can be courageous because the situation is out of my control. I can choose to fight it and fret, or I can choose to submit, wait for the outcome, trusting that it will be good, but if it’s not then I’ll take the next step.
I can’t control every circumstance, but I can control how I react to it. Last year, I chose to love life and to live it as best I can. I had a challenge, but that didn’t define my year. Just as happiness is a choice, so is courage. Living in fear of what may never happen is a waste of energy. I trust that my Father in heaven knows what is best for me; he loves me and cares about me. I have nothing to fear because there is nothing to fear.”
What was your takeout from Justine’s story? How did it encourage you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post Lessons from a teacher called Adversity appeared first on Mandi Hart.
March 25, 2019
Stories can change your life
Stories have the power to delight, to teach, to explain, to thrill, to remember and to bring healing. They bring us from one reality to another. They open up our world.
Stories change the world
When someone tells you their story, both of you change. Something profound happens to the storyteller – and the listener; perhaps it is because the dark, hidden places are no longer so scary. Maybe, it is connecting with someone who can encourage and comfort you. In fact, our story-telling can release forgiveness, joy, and growth. Listening to someone tell you what’s important to them, their hopes and dreams and perhaps even their pain and sorrow is a mysterious gift.
Everyone has a story to tell.
Everyone is on a journey.
And we need each other.
We need to listen, and we need to talk.
Likewise, I found that when I shared my story of the armed robbery, people would connect with me. They would hug me, cry with me, empathize with me and sit with me as I worked through the pain. When we feel afraid and allow fear to hold us captive, we resist telling our story.
I’d like to share two stories with you: Let their courage spur you on to tell your story or to even listen to one.
How a teenage girl conquered her giant one step at a time
“I am an 18-year-old teenage girl from South Africa, and I have battled with the fear of not being good enough and being rejected for many years. For years, I felt this way, probably a consequence of being bullied at school.
Recently, I realized that this giant was lying to me. I am valuable and precious. When I move closer to God and let Him take control, then I can conquer this giant. I choose not to believe” the lies that fly into mind. I always remind myself when I’m having a terrible day that I am made in the image of God Himself, the Creator of everything and that everything He has created is good. That includes me!
Let your light shine
I really like this saying, ‘Don’t dull your light to suit other people. Just hand them some shades and let your light shine.’ It is still a learning curve for me, but with the help of God and my mom, I am learning to conquer it.
For this reason, I am so thankful that I was delivered from the fear of rejection through the awareness of what I was facing, through praying with my mom and practically changing the way I think and live.”
Fear within and outside the home.
“As a young girl, I grew up with an alcoholic father who lost one job after the other, brought home strange friends, or didn’t come home at all sometimes. Add to that the fact that he was unpredictable and very quick to get angry, cars that often broke down on the side of the road, multiple burglaries where our house was stripped bare, and so the list goes on.
Fear became a close companion. Firstly, there was the fear of not having enough food. Secondly, there was fear of another drunken car accident, another break-in, or another threat of my father wanting to burn the house down out of anger.
Fear grew in our home
Finally, one evening my mother had had enough. She took all the bottles of alcohol in the kitchen and threw them out in the courtyard. All I heard was the sound of smashing bottles, and then the shouting started. My sisters and I ran to the kitchen to find my father on top of my mother, hands around her throat, strangling her. Somehow she managed to get free and locked my sisters and me in a room with her.
She often locked us in a room with her when she got scared and then she would start singing hymns to calm us. Fear continued to run rampant in my mind and heart. It even grew to the stage where I was afraid of my friends finding out that this was my life when their lives seemed so simple, so safe.
When I was about ten years old, I so vividly remember how I would fall asleep to the sound of my dad raging on, verbally abusing my mother, doors slamming or clamoring noises coming out of the kitchen. I would often feel a strong, unsettling force – which I imagined to be an invisible spirit of sorts climb with me into my bed when the atmosphere in our house was like this. It would get so unbearably hot that it felt like something was burning me under the covers. I would already be asleep, but somehow remember trying my best to wake up and rip my sheets off so this feeling would go away, that this “thing” could escape, but I couldn’t wake up. I would feel trapped, and this feeling would often roll over into recurring nightmares which I somehow just learned to cope with at that age.
Healing takes time
As a family, we have had to endure many things, and with a stubborn, hard-hearted, bitter father it has not been easy. My parents are still married. I can see that they really do love each other. And even though my dad is still a functioning alcoholic, his anger has subsided and little by little we can see God working in his heart and life. We’ve experienced the faithfulness of God. 
Since putting my trust in Jesus’ hands, fear’s power over my life slowly started dissipating. After many years of struggling with all sorts of fears, by the power and discernment of the Holy Spirit, I can now smell it a mile away and fight it head-on, because Christ has already overcome it for me. He has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.”
I’d love to hear your story. Please make contact with me either via the comments below or email me.
PS. These stories have been shared with permission and the story-tellers will remain anonymous.
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Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
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Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
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The post Stories can change your life appeared first on Mandi Hart.
March 14, 2019
How to discover my purpose
What am I here for? This is the age-old question of purpose and calling. Deep within every human being is the longing to make their mark on this world, to know that have meaning. Our purpose in life is the very meaning of our existence. Consequently, without knowing this, we often suffer because we are unaware of our own significance. We succumb to the illusion that our lives don’t matter, and we have no connection or impact on the world around u
s.
If you are wrestling with that question, then know that you are in good company. For millennia, men and women have been seeking purpose. Specifically, the purpose of something is defined as the reason for which something exists.
Our feelings and actions will follow our belief system.
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What we think about, what we believe will impact our words and our actions. In truth, our feet will follow our belief systems. Look around you and see. All over the world, please are living out what they genuinely believe (even if they don’t know it).
In other words, we need to think and believe right. Inside of every single person, God has placed a purpose and destiny. He is after you, and He has shaped you to be uniquely you so that you hit the mark for your life. He doesn’t want you to miss it. We glorify God when we hit the target we are destined to get the bullseye in. And we live a life that leads to a deep abiding satisfaction – and I’m not talking about a comfortable life — instead, a life of purpose and meaning.
LIVE FULL, DIE EMPTY
I think that graveyards are the wealthiest places on earth. Beneath the soil and layers of stone and dust, lie dormant dreams and hopes. There are countless business plans, ideas, songs, books, medical breakthroughs and more buried there. I long to die empty – meaning that I have lived my life allowing the seeds of potential that are dormant within me to emerge and blossom at the right time.
The Scriptures remind us that He has prepared good works for us in advance before the foundation fo the world. In doing so, we can partner with Him to release those good works aka dreams, visions, ideas into the world. He knows you, created you and destined you for more than this – than just existing.
What are the dreams in your heart?
What makes you come alive?
IS SOMETHING HOLDING YOU BACK?
Is it fear? Fear of man, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of making a mistake or even fear of not being enough? Likewise, the enemy would have you believe those lies and remind you that you don’t have a purpose.
Over the past few years, I’ve spent much time thinking about the impact of fear on my life and in the lives of humankind. Fear and love cannot co-exist. They do not belong together. When you know that you are loved, truly loved and you learn to allow that love to conquer your fear, then you can rise victorious.
Five tips to discover your purpose:
Read bible verses and quotes on purpose.
Get healed from that which holds you back/your fears/your pain.
Grow thankfulness in your life. Ask five friends to describe you using three words. Look for the links in their descriptions of you.
Write your dreams/visions down.
Share life with others and serve in the area that gives you joy.
They all come with a caveat: Don’t compare or listen to Satan’s lies, or give in to fear/self-pity.
Ten memorable quotes and bible verses about living with purpose.
Man’s chief end is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever – Westminster Shorter Catechism:
The climb might be tough and challenging, but the view is worth it. There is a purpose for that pain; you just can’t always see it right away – Victoria Arlen.
Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction – John F KennedyFind out who you are. And do it on purpose – Dolly Parton
True happiness…is not attained through self-gratification, but through fidelity to a worthy purpose – Helen Keller
“The thief comes only in order to steal, kill, and destroy. I have come in order that you might have life – life in all its fullness.” John 10:10.
“I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.” Psalm 57:2
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Ecclesiastes 3:1
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10
To live with purpose means our lives have meaning and we are filled with an abiding joy. It’s not always easy, but oh so satisfying.
Which quote or bible verse is your favorite, let me know. I’d love to hear from you.
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post How to discover my purpose appeared first on Mandi Hart.
March 6, 2019
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Lent is something that I’ve heard about and thought about for years. As a mom, I’ve often carried on with the busyness of raising a family – sick kids, school runs, meal preparation and play-dates. However, this year, I thought to try something new. So, tonight over dinner, we will be discussing how we can generously embrace the season of Lent. It starts tomorrow, hence this quick post.
Lent is a beautiful season of reflection and preparation before the celebrations of Easter. These reflections carried through the generations can inspire change and growth in families across the world. Lent is where for 40 days Christians replicate Jesus Christ’s sacrifice and withdrawal into the desert for 40 days. However, I’d like to issue a fearless challenge of love to you.
“Lent is a time for discipline, for confession, for honesty, not because God is mean or fault- finding or finger-pointing but because he wants us to know the joy of being cleaned out, ready for all the good things he now has in store.”
― N.T. Wright
Would you consider joining me on a journey of love and reflection and generosity? Download this link to a family wall chart of generosity. Print it out and take time to grow as a family, to share your heart and build community.
Please let me know if you’re with me on this journey.
Yours in love and generous, full-heartedness,
Mandi
PS. This short post is inspired by 40 acts Challenge
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List of blogs
Think right, live right
Why your life matters
Children heal one’s soul
Whose report will you believe?
Lessons from a teacher called Adversity
Stories can change your life
How to discover my purpose
Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity
Prayer is an act of great love
Coaches can play a vital role in your child’s life
Love can mend your soul
Exercise can help beat fear, anxiety and trauma
Fear does not discriminate
Fear is either a stepping stone or a stumbling block
Want to learn to how to talk to your kids about a porn fee life?
How can I draw out and release the gifts in my child?
Are you ready for a new school year?
Freedom from fear in three sure steps
Here’s a way to reflect and dream without fear
Advent, kindness and raising kids
Categories
FearLess
Parenting with Courage
The post Lent and 40 days to lean into generosity appeared first on Mandi Hart.
