C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 19
January 10, 2016
How To Create Beauty
Hello, wonderfuls!
Today I would like to share with all of you, a video that I believe is so very important. It's about building beautiful cities, it discusses the principles behind how this can be done and how this can be thought about. These same principles are thoughts that I have been pondering upon from a very young age, but I never before possessed the knowledge enabling me to express those thoughts. Watching this video now, I feel like I have been provided with the knowledge to express the principles that I so deeply believe in.
You have often asked me about my writing techniques and I have always answered you the same way. I have always told you that when I write, I don't see letters, sentences and paragraphs; rather, I see buildings, structures, cities! The reason why I have always said that, is because it is exactly what I mean! My cities may be unseen, my buildings and structures may be part of the unseen worlds; however, I firmly believe that what we create in the unseen world, we should strive to create in the world that we can touch and see.
Cities have always been incredibly important to me and I am truly the type of person who cannot be fully happy in an ugly city. I have been criticized for this before, by people who say that they cannot see ugliness. I for one can definitely see ugliness. I can see both ugliness and beauty and I know that there is a HUGE difference between the two! Ugly cities inflict my mind with unease and contempt, really, and I spend my days thinking of all the beautiful ones. But there's a twist! If only we could start making beautiful cities again! If only we could re-ignite our passion for beauty all around us and instead of trying to always produce the latest most attractive cell phone, we could all focus on trying to produce the latest and most attractive city!
So what is an attractive city, what entails the beauty of an attractive collection of people, places and things? I will let the video explain these things to you, and hopefully, you will feel as empowered and as informed as I did, right after watching it. Do enjoy!
Today I would like to share with all of you, a video that I believe is so very important. It's about building beautiful cities, it discusses the principles behind how this can be done and how this can be thought about. These same principles are thoughts that I have been pondering upon from a very young age, but I never before possessed the knowledge enabling me to express those thoughts. Watching this video now, I feel like I have been provided with the knowledge to express the principles that I so deeply believe in.
You have often asked me about my writing techniques and I have always answered you the same way. I have always told you that when I write, I don't see letters, sentences and paragraphs; rather, I see buildings, structures, cities! The reason why I have always said that, is because it is exactly what I mean! My cities may be unseen, my buildings and structures may be part of the unseen worlds; however, I firmly believe that what we create in the unseen world, we should strive to create in the world that we can touch and see.
Cities have always been incredibly important to me and I am truly the type of person who cannot be fully happy in an ugly city. I have been criticized for this before, by people who say that they cannot see ugliness. I for one can definitely see ugliness. I can see both ugliness and beauty and I know that there is a HUGE difference between the two! Ugly cities inflict my mind with unease and contempt, really, and I spend my days thinking of all the beautiful ones. But there's a twist! If only we could start making beautiful cities again! If only we could re-ignite our passion for beauty all around us and instead of trying to always produce the latest most attractive cell phone, we could all focus on trying to produce the latest and most attractive city!
So what is an attractive city, what entails the beauty of an attractive collection of people, places and things? I will let the video explain these things to you, and hopefully, you will feel as empowered and as informed as I did, right after watching it. Do enjoy!
FOMO, Why Your Country is Poor, and Radical Islam
Hello, wonderfuls!
Today I would like to share with you three videos that I believe everyone should watch. This first one discusses an issue that I believe is extremely relevant to the global society right now. With the use of many forms of social media, every person is constantly bombarded with feelings of comparison and inadequacy, here dubbed as "FOMO" (Fear Of Missing Out). I think that the video very craftily tackles the mindset and how to change the mindset for the better, on an individual, mental level:
This second video addresses, in a very point-blank way, the reasons why some countries are poor while others are rich. It digs into the roots of it all: culture, religion, corruption, etc.:
Last but not least, I believe this last video is a practical discussion that is very relevant today, that people who are very emotionally involved in modern-day racial issues having to do with terrorism, should really take time to watch and to think about:
That would be all! I hope that you find these videos helpful and informative! Have a wonderful day! And I wish you a happy and healthy New Year 2016!
December 10, 2015
The Right To Be And To Belong
The Right To Be And To BelongDecember 4, 2015
“When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.”— Jiddu Krishnamurti
I quote the words above, not because I believe in them, but because they represent exactly what I do not believe in. In fact, I believe that the above statement is the very mindset that has become the breeding ground for violence, and not the other way around. Separation and individuality and culturalism are not the breeding grounds for violence. Rather, it is the lack of appreciation of these, that breeds violence. Therefore, I believe that the more we work towards not appreciating these differences in all of us, and the more we work towards seeing these differences as flaws— the more and more we breed violence. It is in fact the type of thinking above that we need to do away with, in order to do away with violence. We are all different, and none of us will ever be the same, though some of us share cultures and beliefs. And this is okay. This is what makes the world beautiful. We are all united by the fact that we are all different. We are united by the fact that we are comprised of many colours, many cultures, many beliefs, many names, many last names, many neighborhoods, many cities, many states, many nations, many continents, many stories, many memories, many dreams, many goals— they’re all different, we’re all different! If we were all the same, and if purple was the same as pink and pink the same as green and green the same as red and red the same as black and black the same as white, if everything were all the same, then tell me, why would life be any worth living? It is the very differences that we speak out against and that we fight to blur and to eliminate, that are the reasons why we are beautiful as a human race! And these differences are never going to really blur, they are never going to become one, we will not ever have just one culture, just one color, just one dream, just one story, just one city... that is never going to happen! And yet, we crucify ourselves and each other for living in our reality, in a reality that is crafted by the hands of divine design and that is meant to be joyful, colorful, beautiful! It is not the differences that separate us; it is not the separation that divides us; it is not what divides us that causes violence and strife. On the contrary, our differences are what give us our beauty; the separations between us are what gives us oceans to cross; it is what divides us that gives us the reasons to have a place to call home! The error of this age, lies not in the fact that we lack the ability to see that we are one; rather, the error of this age lies in the fact that we lack the ability to see the beauty in the ways that we are different, and to accept and appreciate those differences, to celebrate those differences, to elevate those differences as items of admiration! You want to kill him, because you believe that all people need to be the same, and yet, why is he not the same as you? They want to kill you, because they believe that you ought to be as they are, and yet, why are you not as they are? Then something must be wrong, “sameness” must be created, thus, all differences must be eliminated! And if those differences cannot be eliminated, then they must eliminate you! People want to kill other people, because they cannot change other people. But I have a secret to tell all of you! And this secret is that no man and no woman needs to be the same as any other man, as any other woman. You do not need to be the same as them, and they do not need to be the same as you! You will in fact always be different from one another— that is okay, that is good, that is beautiful! Look at all the reasons why we are different! Look upon them! They are the reasons why we are beautiful, they are the reasons why this planet is worth traveling, is worth exploring; they are the reasons why falling in love is an adventure! They are the reasons why we dream, why we wander, why we crave! Our differences cannot be denied, because they will always be there. Our elements of separation cannot be scorned, because they are what make life worth traversing! The borders that divide us, are not evidences of violence and misunderstanding; rather, the borders that divide us are the evidences of what we have been able to grow, to nurture, to rise! They are our evidences of what have been overcome in the past, what we are overcoming now, and what we may reform in the future! But they are ours, all the same. Our homes are ours, all the same. Your home is your home just as much as my home is my home. Your culture is your culture, just as much as my culture is my own. It is okay that you have your home and it is okay that I have mine. And if I want to find a home in yours, then I will do my best to respect what is yours, to adapt to what is yours, to learn and to appreciate what is different from my own. And you will do the same, with me. Let no man or woman tell you, that we need to be the same. It is okay that we are not the same. What we do need, is to see our differences as elements worth appreciating and respecting. I have no more right to be different from you, than you have the right to be different from me. Our right is equal, and in that, we are equal. We are not equal because we are all the same— that is simply untrue— but we are equal because we all have the equal right to the things that make us unique, that make us ourselves, that make us know where we belong. It is in fact those things that point out how different we are, that are also responsible for defining our sense of belonging and the places and the people we call home. I am a multiculural individual, and because I am a multicultural individual, I am actually a culturalist. Because I am so aware of the value of having a sense of belonging, I am aware that the sense of belonging is something prized and to be upheld. It is difficult for me to immediately say that I know where I belong, and because of that, I am painfully aware of the value of being able to immediately know where and to whom you belong. I am a culturalist, because I believe in the right that every individual has, to his/her own culture, own way of thinking, own lifestyle. Culture, lifestyle, and personal beliefs, are the three things that should not be tresspassed by another. If another would like to become a part of that, then they should be welcomed. But when they are welcomed, they should endeavour to make it there own, they must endeavor to respect and to appreciate, just as much as they respect and appreciate what is natively their own. Love does not exist in the act of diminishing those things that define us; rather, love is enacted through respecting and appreciating those things that define each of us. Every man and woman has the right to their own culture, in their own home, in their own church (or absence of church). Let no other individual or group of individuals, attempt to destroy or to alter that. I believe that until we stop trying to all become the same as everyone else, or to make everyone else the same as us, there will always be the violence that is falsley proclaimed to come from acknowledging our differences and appreciating our uniqueness. I would want to call out to all people, to do the opposite of what is encouraged that we do, I want to call out to all people, to allow others to be who they are, with the knowledge that you must also be allowed to be who you are, and that your home must be respected no less than how their home must be respected. It is true that we are all citizens of this world; however, if this world were filled with identical citizens, then I don’t see why it would be a world worth staying in. Being a citizen of the world does not equate to being someone with no home, no identity, no culture and no creed. The world is a colorful place, and we are making all those colors, we are all those colors. Let’s see this, let’s understand this, and please, let’s love this. I just want to close this piece, by saying thank you to Mélanie Berliet, Heidi Priebe and Noelle Beams, for welcoming me to Thought Catalog, and for arranging my stay here. I am happy to be welcomed here and I am happy to join the Thought Catalog Team. I’m also thankful and glad to meet all of you, my new readers. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read what I write, and I am glad that you are here.
“When you call yourself an Indian or a Muslim or a Christian or a European, or anything else, you are being violent. Do you see why it is violent? Because you are separating yourself from the rest of mankind. When you separate yourself by belief, by nationality, by tradition, it breeds violence. So a man who is seeking to understand violence does not belong to any country, to any religion, to any political party or partial system; he is concerned with the total understanding of mankind.”— Jiddu Krishnamurti
I quote the words above, not because I believe in them, but because they represent exactly what I do not believe in. In fact, I believe that the above statement is the very mindset that has become the breeding ground for violence, and not the other way around. Separation and individuality and culturalism are not the breeding grounds for violence. Rather, it is the lack of appreciation of these, that breeds violence. Therefore, I believe that the more we work towards not appreciating these differences in all of us, and the more we work towards seeing these differences as flaws— the more and more we breed violence. It is in fact the type of thinking above that we need to do away with, in order to do away with violence. We are all different, and none of us will ever be the same, though some of us share cultures and beliefs. And this is okay. This is what makes the world beautiful. We are all united by the fact that we are all different. We are united by the fact that we are comprised of many colours, many cultures, many beliefs, many names, many last names, many neighborhoods, many cities, many states, many nations, many continents, many stories, many memories, many dreams, many goals— they’re all different, we’re all different! If we were all the same, and if purple was the same as pink and pink the same as green and green the same as red and red the same as black and black the same as white, if everything were all the same, then tell me, why would life be any worth living? It is the very differences that we speak out against and that we fight to blur and to eliminate, that are the reasons why we are beautiful as a human race! And these differences are never going to really blur, they are never going to become one, we will not ever have just one culture, just one color, just one dream, just one story, just one city... that is never going to happen! And yet, we crucify ourselves and each other for living in our reality, in a reality that is crafted by the hands of divine design and that is meant to be joyful, colorful, beautiful! It is not the differences that separate us; it is not the separation that divides us; it is not what divides us that causes violence and strife. On the contrary, our differences are what give us our beauty; the separations between us are what gives us oceans to cross; it is what divides us that gives us the reasons to have a place to call home! The error of this age, lies not in the fact that we lack the ability to see that we are one; rather, the error of this age lies in the fact that we lack the ability to see the beauty in the ways that we are different, and to accept and appreciate those differences, to celebrate those differences, to elevate those differences as items of admiration! You want to kill him, because you believe that all people need to be the same, and yet, why is he not the same as you? They want to kill you, because they believe that you ought to be as they are, and yet, why are you not as they are? Then something must be wrong, “sameness” must be created, thus, all differences must be eliminated! And if those differences cannot be eliminated, then they must eliminate you! People want to kill other people, because they cannot change other people. But I have a secret to tell all of you! And this secret is that no man and no woman needs to be the same as any other man, as any other woman. You do not need to be the same as them, and they do not need to be the same as you! You will in fact always be different from one another— that is okay, that is good, that is beautiful! Look at all the reasons why we are different! Look upon them! They are the reasons why we are beautiful, they are the reasons why this planet is worth traveling, is worth exploring; they are the reasons why falling in love is an adventure! They are the reasons why we dream, why we wander, why we crave! Our differences cannot be denied, because they will always be there. Our elements of separation cannot be scorned, because they are what make life worth traversing! The borders that divide us, are not evidences of violence and misunderstanding; rather, the borders that divide us are the evidences of what we have been able to grow, to nurture, to rise! They are our evidences of what have been overcome in the past, what we are overcoming now, and what we may reform in the future! But they are ours, all the same. Our homes are ours, all the same. Your home is your home just as much as my home is my home. Your culture is your culture, just as much as my culture is my own. It is okay that you have your home and it is okay that I have mine. And if I want to find a home in yours, then I will do my best to respect what is yours, to adapt to what is yours, to learn and to appreciate what is different from my own. And you will do the same, with me. Let no man or woman tell you, that we need to be the same. It is okay that we are not the same. What we do need, is to see our differences as elements worth appreciating and respecting. I have no more right to be different from you, than you have the right to be different from me. Our right is equal, and in that, we are equal. We are not equal because we are all the same— that is simply untrue— but we are equal because we all have the equal right to the things that make us unique, that make us ourselves, that make us know where we belong. It is in fact those things that point out how different we are, that are also responsible for defining our sense of belonging and the places and the people we call home. I am a multiculural individual, and because I am a multicultural individual, I am actually a culturalist. Because I am so aware of the value of having a sense of belonging, I am aware that the sense of belonging is something prized and to be upheld. It is difficult for me to immediately say that I know where I belong, and because of that, I am painfully aware of the value of being able to immediately know where and to whom you belong. I am a culturalist, because I believe in the right that every individual has, to his/her own culture, own way of thinking, own lifestyle. Culture, lifestyle, and personal beliefs, are the three things that should not be tresspassed by another. If another would like to become a part of that, then they should be welcomed. But when they are welcomed, they should endeavour to make it there own, they must endeavor to respect and to appreciate, just as much as they respect and appreciate what is natively their own. Love does not exist in the act of diminishing those things that define us; rather, love is enacted through respecting and appreciating those things that define each of us. Every man and woman has the right to their own culture, in their own home, in their own church (or absence of church). Let no other individual or group of individuals, attempt to destroy or to alter that. I believe that until we stop trying to all become the same as everyone else, or to make everyone else the same as us, there will always be the violence that is falsley proclaimed to come from acknowledging our differences and appreciating our uniqueness. I would want to call out to all people, to do the opposite of what is encouraged that we do, I want to call out to all people, to allow others to be who they are, with the knowledge that you must also be allowed to be who you are, and that your home must be respected no less than how their home must be respected. It is true that we are all citizens of this world; however, if this world were filled with identical citizens, then I don’t see why it would be a world worth staying in. Being a citizen of the world does not equate to being someone with no home, no identity, no culture and no creed. The world is a colorful place, and we are making all those colors, we are all those colors. Let’s see this, let’s understand this, and please, let’s love this. I just want to close this piece, by saying thank you to Mélanie Berliet, Heidi Priebe and Noelle Beams, for welcoming me to Thought Catalog, and for arranging my stay here. I am happy to be welcomed here and I am happy to join the Thought Catalog Team. I’m also thankful and glad to meet all of you, my new readers. I appreciate everyone who takes the time to read what I write, and I am glad that you are here.
November 11, 2015
Death and Truth
I used to think that it wouldn't be wise to love a man with all my heart, because if he were to die, I would die along with him. It would hurt too much to lose him. It is only after experiencing the death of a loved one up-close for the first time (someone I used to see every day, for years, up until his dying day), that I have come to see the truth, and that truth is, that when we love someone, we must love them with everything we have and with all of our hearts, because when they die, we won't be thinking about how we gave too much or how we lost too much— we will only be thinking about what more we could have done, to let them know we loved them. And my previous thoughts were with regards to loving a man in life (a life partner); and the one who passed away was not my life partner (thank God), notwithstanding, my eyes were opened to the truth, the very same. I am able to feel from all angles, including the feelings of the other people involved, and so thankfully, I am able to learn very much.
In our daily lives, we all focus so much on protecting ourselves from getting hurt, we are all so afraid of the pain that comes with giving too much and being shortchanged or slighted in return. We're afraid of pain, because it hurts, but what we don't immediately realise, is that pain is just another feeling, and when someone dies, that feeling becomes no more important than all the other feelings that you shared with regards to that person! When a person dies, it comes down to two things: whether you are able to say, "I loved that person in every way possible that there is for a person to love another"; or, whether you must truthfully tell yourself, "I was afraid of getting hurt, I was afraid of giving too much, I couldn't forgive this...I couldn't forgive that..." it is true that the things we are going to regret at the end of our lives (or at the end of the life of a loved one or of someone we are in love with), are not the ways in which we were hurt! But the things that we are going to regret are the ways in which we held back, in which we thought of ourselves first; the ways in which we doubted too much and for too long, the ways in which we were afraid of being shortchanged... all the ways we didn't love and we didn't get hurt because we didn't let ourselves care enough to get hurt— those are things we will regret for the remainder of our own lives here on Earth!
We live in a society that teaches and advocates— so much and all the time— about the importance of "not being needy", of "not being clingy", of "not receiving the shorter end of the string". We are taught and bombarded, from left and from right, on Facebook and on LinkedIn every day— all of these principles that are not what life is all about! The truth is that we are all needy! And we ought to show it, too! We ought to be what we are! Why wouldn't we be needy? From the moment we are born, we need our parents (or guardians) in order to survive! We need friends, we need our teachers at school, we need people to listen, to empathise with us, to give us a helping hand... we need people to play with as children, and to grow with as adults! We neeeeeeed! We are all needy! The world consists right now of two kinds of people: needy people who are brave enough to show it, and needy people who are afraid to show it (or conditioned too much into thinking they shouldn't show it).
The most needy person I ever met, was a friend of mine, a man who didn't believe in relationships and who slept around with women left and right, who condemned every woman the moment she began expressing a need for him, the moment she would begin to express jealousy and concern. The moment he felt like the women he was sleeping with were beginning to need him— he left them. Period. But he was himself incredibly needy, always in need of constant contact, constant stimulation, constant ear to hear his innermost aches and pains... I suppose people hate in others, what they actually hate the most about themselves.
We are all needy and beautiful at the same time, and I can't think of a more beautiful way for human beings to live their lives, than to live with the acceptance of this fact. People today are running away from the truth, every day and all the time. People today feign happiness, but never really have it with them. Perhaps it passes them by; nevertheless, they don't hold it within their hands.
Why are people not being taught to love as much as they can, because there is no shame in love? There is no shame in love! Whether you love a person worthy of you, or you love a person who wasn't worth it— the worth of your love given, is never diminished by another! And I am not saying this to advocate staying with someone who does not love you in return, or who does not value you; but I'm saying this to stress that even in the event that you love someone not worthy of it, that would not make your love unworthy as a result. Other people's value does not dictate the value of our love, because only we can dictate the value of our own love. And there is no shame in need! Everyone is needy! Some people just aren't brave enough to know it! If we all knew and accepted how needy we are, and other people are, we would live life with open arms, open hearts, and with so much more compassion!
Why are people always being taught how to protect themselves from love, how to manipulate someone into loving them, how to not be real, how to not be pure? Why? Because I tell you, when a person dies, it is very real, and all that's left is what's real. There are seven billion people on the planet, and yet, billions of people cannot find someone to come home to!
I want you to remember, that when someone you love is lying in their coffin (God forbid this occurrence), you are going to want to be able to say, "I did everything in my power to love this person, there's nothing more I could have done to love this person", because in that moment, you will know what it means to hold victory within your heart, you will know what it means to be a conqueror of life, you will know that you have loved, and that there is no shame in loving. I hope to love someone like that, but I also hope to be loved like that, the same (or more). Because there is also no shame in being the one who is loved more.
In our daily lives, we all focus so much on protecting ourselves from getting hurt, we are all so afraid of the pain that comes with giving too much and being shortchanged or slighted in return. We're afraid of pain, because it hurts, but what we don't immediately realise, is that pain is just another feeling, and when someone dies, that feeling becomes no more important than all the other feelings that you shared with regards to that person! When a person dies, it comes down to two things: whether you are able to say, "I loved that person in every way possible that there is for a person to love another"; or, whether you must truthfully tell yourself, "I was afraid of getting hurt, I was afraid of giving too much, I couldn't forgive this...I couldn't forgive that..." it is true that the things we are going to regret at the end of our lives (or at the end of the life of a loved one or of someone we are in love with), are not the ways in which we were hurt! But the things that we are going to regret are the ways in which we held back, in which we thought of ourselves first; the ways in which we doubted too much and for too long, the ways in which we were afraid of being shortchanged... all the ways we didn't love and we didn't get hurt because we didn't let ourselves care enough to get hurt— those are things we will regret for the remainder of our own lives here on Earth!
We live in a society that teaches and advocates— so much and all the time— about the importance of "not being needy", of "not being clingy", of "not receiving the shorter end of the string". We are taught and bombarded, from left and from right, on Facebook and on LinkedIn every day— all of these principles that are not what life is all about! The truth is that we are all needy! And we ought to show it, too! We ought to be what we are! Why wouldn't we be needy? From the moment we are born, we need our parents (or guardians) in order to survive! We need friends, we need our teachers at school, we need people to listen, to empathise with us, to give us a helping hand... we need people to play with as children, and to grow with as adults! We neeeeeeed! We are all needy! The world consists right now of two kinds of people: needy people who are brave enough to show it, and needy people who are afraid to show it (or conditioned too much into thinking they shouldn't show it).
The most needy person I ever met, was a friend of mine, a man who didn't believe in relationships and who slept around with women left and right, who condemned every woman the moment she began expressing a need for him, the moment she would begin to express jealousy and concern. The moment he felt like the women he was sleeping with were beginning to need him— he left them. Period. But he was himself incredibly needy, always in need of constant contact, constant stimulation, constant ear to hear his innermost aches and pains... I suppose people hate in others, what they actually hate the most about themselves.
We are all needy and beautiful at the same time, and I can't think of a more beautiful way for human beings to live their lives, than to live with the acceptance of this fact. People today are running away from the truth, every day and all the time. People today feign happiness, but never really have it with them. Perhaps it passes them by; nevertheless, they don't hold it within their hands.
Why are people not being taught to love as much as they can, because there is no shame in love? There is no shame in love! Whether you love a person worthy of you, or you love a person who wasn't worth it— the worth of your love given, is never diminished by another! And I am not saying this to advocate staying with someone who does not love you in return, or who does not value you; but I'm saying this to stress that even in the event that you love someone not worthy of it, that would not make your love unworthy as a result. Other people's value does not dictate the value of our love, because only we can dictate the value of our own love. And there is no shame in need! Everyone is needy! Some people just aren't brave enough to know it! If we all knew and accepted how needy we are, and other people are, we would live life with open arms, open hearts, and with so much more compassion!
Why are people always being taught how to protect themselves from love, how to manipulate someone into loving them, how to not be real, how to not be pure? Why? Because I tell you, when a person dies, it is very real, and all that's left is what's real. There are seven billion people on the planet, and yet, billions of people cannot find someone to come home to!
I want you to remember, that when someone you love is lying in their coffin (God forbid this occurrence), you are going to want to be able to say, "I did everything in my power to love this person, there's nothing more I could have done to love this person", because in that moment, you will know what it means to hold victory within your heart, you will know what it means to be a conqueror of life, you will know that you have loved, and that there is no shame in loving. I hope to love someone like that, but I also hope to be loved like that, the same (or more). Because there is also no shame in being the one who is loved more.
October 12, 2015
The Conversation of Venusta: Brightness
“What is brightness? What is light? What does it mean when a person shines brightly?”
“When a light shines bright, a candle burns brightly, a flame roars in its serene original existence; the other lights, candles and flames think that the brighter one is going to kill them. But I have observed that this is a very limiting thing to think and to feel. And I have also learned that when you are a brightly-shining candle, your every smile and movement and thought and action is magnified— not because you magnify it and not because you are loud— but only because what is bright will be bright. And that’s it. You have to realise your brightness, because it is when you lose sight of how much you shine, that you will begin to hurt others with your light! You don’t realise the impact that you have, because you’re thinking lower of yourself. You see, sometimes humility is actually the act of the acceptance of your greatness! You reach a point where it dawns on you, that you have to stop saying, “I’m not good enough, I’m not this or that enough, I’m just like this” and you need to stand up straight into your full figure, into your full height, accept your stature, and that is actually an act of humility. It is humble to accept that you don’t have control over how much light you were meant to shine into this world, and that if you are meant to be a gigantic Roman Candle, then so be it! I have seen those who have stood up into their full statures, into their full heights, and they appear as though they could break down a tree with a single glance! But all they’ve really done is accepted... And it is important to know that brightness is not there to kill everything else around it! Brightness is not something that we need to compete for or that we need to chase after! But when one is bright and light, may we all stop for a minute to worship!”
— Excerpt from my upcoming book, The Conversation of Venusta, sequel to, The Conversation of Merachefet.
“When a light shines bright, a candle burns brightly, a flame roars in its serene original existence; the other lights, candles and flames think that the brighter one is going to kill them. But I have observed that this is a very limiting thing to think and to feel. And I have also learned that when you are a brightly-shining candle, your every smile and movement and thought and action is magnified— not because you magnify it and not because you are loud— but only because what is bright will be bright. And that’s it. You have to realise your brightness, because it is when you lose sight of how much you shine, that you will begin to hurt others with your light! You don’t realise the impact that you have, because you’re thinking lower of yourself. You see, sometimes humility is actually the act of the acceptance of your greatness! You reach a point where it dawns on you, that you have to stop saying, “I’m not good enough, I’m not this or that enough, I’m just like this” and you need to stand up straight into your full figure, into your full height, accept your stature, and that is actually an act of humility. It is humble to accept that you don’t have control over how much light you were meant to shine into this world, and that if you are meant to be a gigantic Roman Candle, then so be it! I have seen those who have stood up into their full statures, into their full heights, and they appear as though they could break down a tree with a single glance! But all they’ve really done is accepted... And it is important to know that brightness is not there to kill everything else around it! Brightness is not something that we need to compete for or that we need to chase after! But when one is bright and light, may we all stop for a minute to worship!”
— Excerpt from my upcoming book, The Conversation of Venusta, sequel to, The Conversation of Merachefet.
Whereabouts of Soul: Brightness
“What is brightness? What is light? What does it mean when a person shines brightly?”
“When a light shines bright, a candle burns brightly, a flame roars in its serene original existence; the other lights, candles and flames think that the brighter one is going to kill them. But I have observed that this is a very limiting thing to think and to feel. And I have also learned that when you are a brightly-shining candle, your every smile and movement and thought and action is magnified— not because you magnify it and not because you are loud— but only because what is bright will be bright. And that’s it. You have to realise your brightness, because it is when you lose sight of how much you shine, that you will begin to hurt others with your light! You don’t realise the impact that you have, because you’re thinking lower of yourself. You see, sometimes humility is actually the act of the acceptance of your greatness! You reach a point where it dawns on you, that you have to stop saying, “I’m not good enough, I’m not this or that enough, I’m just like this” and you need to stand up straight into your full figure, into your full height, accept your stature, and that is actually an act of humility. It is humble to accept that you don’t have control over how much light you were meant to shine into this world, and that if you are meant to be a gigantic Roman Candle, then so be it! I have seen those who have stood up into their full statures, into their full heights, and they appear as though they could break down a tree with a single glance! But all they’ve really done is accepted... And it is important to know that brightness is not there to kill everything else around it! Brightness is not something that we need to compete for or that we need to chase after! But when one is bright and light, may we all stop for a minute to worship!”
— Excerpt from my upcoming book, Whereabouts of Soul, sequel to, The Conversation of Merachefet.
“When a light shines bright, a candle burns brightly, a flame roars in its serene original existence; the other lights, candles and flames think that the brighter one is going to kill them. But I have observed that this is a very limiting thing to think and to feel. And I have also learned that when you are a brightly-shining candle, your every smile and movement and thought and action is magnified— not because you magnify it and not because you are loud— but only because what is bright will be bright. And that’s it. You have to realise your brightness, because it is when you lose sight of how much you shine, that you will begin to hurt others with your light! You don’t realise the impact that you have, because you’re thinking lower of yourself. You see, sometimes humility is actually the act of the acceptance of your greatness! You reach a point where it dawns on you, that you have to stop saying, “I’m not good enough, I’m not this or that enough, I’m just like this” and you need to stand up straight into your full figure, into your full height, accept your stature, and that is actually an act of humility. It is humble to accept that you don’t have control over how much light you were meant to shine into this world, and that if you are meant to be a gigantic Roman Candle, then so be it! I have seen those who have stood up into their full statures, into their full heights, and they appear as though they could break down a tree with a single glance! But all they’ve really done is accepted... And it is important to know that brightness is not there to kill everything else around it! Brightness is not something that we need to compete for or that we need to chase after! But when one is bright and light, may we all stop for a minute to worship!”
— Excerpt from my upcoming book, Whereabouts of Soul, sequel to, The Conversation of Merachefet.
October 11, 2015
The Conversation of Venusta
“What is your religion?”
“This is a funny question to ask me!”
“Yes, it is! But, what is your religion?”
“My religion is Beauty. Have you heard them all say that their religion is kindness? Well, my religion is Beauty.”
“What does that mean? What does it mean when one says that her religion is Beauty?”
“When I say my religion is Beauty, I am saying that I am an advocate of the process of things becoming beautiful, becoming more; of things and of people that add joyful, pleasing, peaceful, gentle, harmless, worthwhile objects, creeds, and experiences, to their communities, and collectively to the rest of the world. I am faithful to the beautiful roses, I am faithful to the beautiful wildflowers in the fields, I am faithful to the Dawn and to the Dusk. I am faithful to the harp, to the music that it brings to my ears, I am faithful to joyous laughter and I am faithful to good and pleasing food! I am faithful to the faithful lover, to the lover who makes a house into a home; I’m faithful to the innocent child, to the child who makes a home into a sanctuary; I am faithful to the trees that give us homes to live in and bridges to cross. I am faithful to happy memories and to gentleness. I am faithful to the absence of hostility, to the absence of death. I am faithful to bliss.
I am a believer in sublimity; in paintings and in sculptures. I am a believer in marble angels and in stone gargoyles. I am a believer in the strokes of the paintbrush that can be found nestled on the surface of oil paintings, I am a believer in the freedom of the flowers, the way that colors roam our Earth, I am a believer in form and in flow. I believe in the way the Moonlight makes me feel and I believe in the way that the Sunlight can soothe my Soul. I believe in the soft breaths that escape my lips during intimate moments, the touch of another’s skin on my skin, the rubbing of another’s Soul upon the membranes of my own Soul! I believe in the movement of dance and in the music that makes us want to do it. I believe in the sanctity of intimacy and in the songs that we sing. I put my faith in myths, legends and forgotten writings. I put my faith in the consciousness of stones and in the tales of the waters. I trust in the small animals that I feed, and in the people who understand them. I trust in metamorphosis, in growth, in the way that the seed turns into a fruit tree! I trust in my dreams at night, they are more than just dreams. I am a friend to bliss, to delight, and to those who make things beautiful and who create beautiful things. Michelangelo is my Priest. Donatello is my Saint. I worship those who can take a stone and turn that stone into a chapel.
I am the enemy of things and of people that would deceive and divide, I am enemy of corrosion and erosion, I am enemy of disease and malfunction, I am enemy of lies and of manipulations, I am the enemy of lack, of want, of need and of envy. I am the enemy of the carcass, of the rot, and of loss. I am enemy to all things that would cause ugliness and struggle in a life and in a world. I cannot be friends with those who are the cause of decay in others. Don’t make me dance with someone that is envious, don’t make me sit and eat with someone who stabs another in the back. This is my Creed, this is my Religion.”
— An excerpt from my upcoming book, entitled, The Conversation of Venusta, which is a sequel to The Conversation of Merachefet .
“This is a funny question to ask me!”
“Yes, it is! But, what is your religion?”
“My religion is Beauty. Have you heard them all say that their religion is kindness? Well, my religion is Beauty.”
“What does that mean? What does it mean when one says that her religion is Beauty?”
“When I say my religion is Beauty, I am saying that I am an advocate of the process of things becoming beautiful, becoming more; of things and of people that add joyful, pleasing, peaceful, gentle, harmless, worthwhile objects, creeds, and experiences, to their communities, and collectively to the rest of the world. I am faithful to the beautiful roses, I am faithful to the beautiful wildflowers in the fields, I am faithful to the Dawn and to the Dusk. I am faithful to the harp, to the music that it brings to my ears, I am faithful to joyous laughter and I am faithful to good and pleasing food! I am faithful to the faithful lover, to the lover who makes a house into a home; I’m faithful to the innocent child, to the child who makes a home into a sanctuary; I am faithful to the trees that give us homes to live in and bridges to cross. I am faithful to happy memories and to gentleness. I am faithful to the absence of hostility, to the absence of death. I am faithful to bliss.
I am a believer in sublimity; in paintings and in sculptures. I am a believer in marble angels and in stone gargoyles. I am a believer in the strokes of the paintbrush that can be found nestled on the surface of oil paintings, I am a believer in the freedom of the flowers, the way that colors roam our Earth, I am a believer in form and in flow. I believe in the way the Moonlight makes me feel and I believe in the way that the Sunlight can soothe my Soul. I believe in the soft breaths that escape my lips during intimate moments, the touch of another’s skin on my skin, the rubbing of another’s Soul upon the membranes of my own Soul! I believe in the movement of dance and in the music that makes us want to do it. I believe in the sanctity of intimacy and in the songs that we sing. I put my faith in myths, legends and forgotten writings. I put my faith in the consciousness of stones and in the tales of the waters. I trust in the small animals that I feed, and in the people who understand them. I trust in metamorphosis, in growth, in the way that the seed turns into a fruit tree! I trust in my dreams at night, they are more than just dreams. I am a friend to bliss, to delight, and to those who make things beautiful and who create beautiful things. Michelangelo is my Priest. Donatello is my Saint. I worship those who can take a stone and turn that stone into a chapel.
I am the enemy of things and of people that would deceive and divide, I am enemy of corrosion and erosion, I am enemy of disease and malfunction, I am enemy of lies and of manipulations, I am the enemy of lack, of want, of need and of envy. I am the enemy of the carcass, of the rot, and of loss. I am enemy to all things that would cause ugliness and struggle in a life and in a world. I cannot be friends with those who are the cause of decay in others. Don’t make me dance with someone that is envious, don’t make me sit and eat with someone who stabs another in the back. This is my Creed, this is my Religion.”
— An excerpt from my upcoming book, entitled, The Conversation of Venusta, which is a sequel to The Conversation of Merachefet .
Whereabouts of Soul
“What is your religion?”
“This is a funny question to ask me!”
“Yes, it is! But, what is your religion?”
“My religion is Beauty. Have you heard them all say that their religion is kindness? Well, my religion is Beauty.”
“What does that mean? What does it mean when one says that her religion is Beauty?”
“When I say my religion is Beauty, I am saying that I am an advocate of the process of things becoming beautiful, becoming more; of things and of people that add joyful, pleasing, peaceful, gentle, harmless, worthwhile objects, creeds, and experiences, to their communities, and collectively to the rest of the world. I am faithful to the beautiful roses, I am faithful to the beautiful wildflowers in the fields, I am faithful to the Dawn and to the Dusk. I am faithful to the harp, to the music that it brings to my ears, I am faithful to joyous laughter and I am faithful to good and pleasing food! I am faithful to the faithful lover, to the lover who makes a house into a home; I’m faithful to the innocent child, to the child who makes a home into a sanctuary; I am faithful to the trees that give us homes to live in and bridges to cross. I am faithful to happy memories and to gentleness. I am faithful to the absence of hostility, to the absence of death. I am faithful to bliss.
I am a believer in sublimity; in paintings and in sculptures. I am a believer in marble angels and in stone gargoyles. I am a believer in the strokes of the paintbrush that can be found nestled on the surface of oil paintings, I am a believer in the freedom of the flowers, the way that colors roam our Earth, I am a believer in form and in flow. I believe in the way the Moonlight makes me feel and I believe in the way that the Sunlight can soothe my Soul. I believe in the soft breaths that escape my lips during intimate moments, the touch of another’s skin on my skin, the rubbing of another’s Soul upon the membranes of my own Soul! I believe in the movement of dance and in the music that makes us want to do it. I believe in the sanctity of intimacy and in the songs that we sing. I put my faith in myths, legends and forgotten writings. I put my faith in the consciousness of stones and in the tales of the waters. I trust in the small animals that I feed, and in the people who understand them. I trust in metamorphosis, in growth, in the way that the seed turns into a fruit tree! I trust in my dreams at night, they are more than just dreams. I am a friend to bliss, to delight, and to those who make things beautiful and who create beautiful things. Michelangelo is my Priest. Donatello is my Saint. I worship those who can take a stone and turn that stone into a chapel.
I am the enemy of things and of people that would deceive and divide, I am enemy of corrosion and erosion, I am enemy of disease and malfunction, I am enemy of lies and of manipulations, I am the enemy of lack, of want, of need and of envy. I am the enemy of the carcass, of the rot, and of loss. I am enemy to all things that would cause ugliness and struggle in a life and in a world. I cannot be friends with those who are the cause of decay in others. Don’t make me dance with someone that is envious, don’t make me sit and eat with someone who stabs another in the back. This is my Creed, this is my Religion.”
— An excerpt from my upcoming book, entitled, Whereabouts of Soul, which is a sequel to The Conversation of Merachefet .
“This is a funny question to ask me!”
“Yes, it is! But, what is your religion?”
“My religion is Beauty. Have you heard them all say that their religion is kindness? Well, my religion is Beauty.”
“What does that mean? What does it mean when one says that her religion is Beauty?”
“When I say my religion is Beauty, I am saying that I am an advocate of the process of things becoming beautiful, becoming more; of things and of people that add joyful, pleasing, peaceful, gentle, harmless, worthwhile objects, creeds, and experiences, to their communities, and collectively to the rest of the world. I am faithful to the beautiful roses, I am faithful to the beautiful wildflowers in the fields, I am faithful to the Dawn and to the Dusk. I am faithful to the harp, to the music that it brings to my ears, I am faithful to joyous laughter and I am faithful to good and pleasing food! I am faithful to the faithful lover, to the lover who makes a house into a home; I’m faithful to the innocent child, to the child who makes a home into a sanctuary; I am faithful to the trees that give us homes to live in and bridges to cross. I am faithful to happy memories and to gentleness. I am faithful to the absence of hostility, to the absence of death. I am faithful to bliss.
I am a believer in sublimity; in paintings and in sculptures. I am a believer in marble angels and in stone gargoyles. I am a believer in the strokes of the paintbrush that can be found nestled on the surface of oil paintings, I am a believer in the freedom of the flowers, the way that colors roam our Earth, I am a believer in form and in flow. I believe in the way the Moonlight makes me feel and I believe in the way that the Sunlight can soothe my Soul. I believe in the soft breaths that escape my lips during intimate moments, the touch of another’s skin on my skin, the rubbing of another’s Soul upon the membranes of my own Soul! I believe in the movement of dance and in the music that makes us want to do it. I believe in the sanctity of intimacy and in the songs that we sing. I put my faith in myths, legends and forgotten writings. I put my faith in the consciousness of stones and in the tales of the waters. I trust in the small animals that I feed, and in the people who understand them. I trust in metamorphosis, in growth, in the way that the seed turns into a fruit tree! I trust in my dreams at night, they are more than just dreams. I am a friend to bliss, to delight, and to those who make things beautiful and who create beautiful things. Michelangelo is my Priest. Donatello is my Saint. I worship those who can take a stone and turn that stone into a chapel.
I am the enemy of things and of people that would deceive and divide, I am enemy of corrosion and erosion, I am enemy of disease and malfunction, I am enemy of lies and of manipulations, I am the enemy of lack, of want, of need and of envy. I am the enemy of the carcass, of the rot, and of loss. I am enemy to all things that would cause ugliness and struggle in a life and in a world. I cannot be friends with those who are the cause of decay in others. Don’t make me dance with someone that is envious, don’t make me sit and eat with someone who stabs another in the back. This is my Creed, this is my Religion.”
— An excerpt from my upcoming book, entitled, Whereabouts of Soul, which is a sequel to The Conversation of Merachefet .
September 30, 2015
What Is A Divergent?
Since I oftentimes make reference to the word "Divergent" when I write things, I think I ought to explain what that means, in context. The term (in context), comes from the dystopian novel series by Veronica Roth. In her novels, we live in a future dystopian society where all people are segregated according to factions, that being, according to exactly how people are wired to function. That way, everyone can understand exactly how everyone else (and they themselves) ought to react to situations, ought to behave, ought to think and ought to choose, so on and so forth. It's actually very applicable to our world, today. In fact, I think that Veronica Roth's novels have captured exactly what it is like, in the world, today; the difference being that she has taken raw truth and made it into literal, simplified formulas, that really do spell out how it is for us all, in our societies, right now. We are already living in that dystopian society in our minds. Her novels (and the movies adapted from her novels), play out the physical, obvious aspect of how it already goes on, on the mental landscape of collective society.
There are five factions: Dauntless (The Brave), Amity (The Peaceful), Candor (The Honest), Abnegation (The Selfless), and Erudite (The Intellectual). All children go through a serum-induced psychological test, to determine how their brains respond to a variety of situations. Typically, they are induced into hallucinations and their reactions to situations are monitored on-screen. Depending on how they save themselves in certain situations, how they deal with what's presented to them— they are then placed into whichever faction they belong to. Now, Divergents are the ones who break all the known ways of handling the tests. Divergents are all five of the factions put together, and they are considered outcasts, they are considered as threats, and are hunted down for the kill. A Divergent knows when to be brave, when to be peaceful, when to be honest, when to be selfless, and when to exercise intelligence. Albeit, they may struggle with exactly when each quality is needed, but then that's all just a part of growing up and becoming! The bottom line is that, all of their faculties are fully-functioning and they are not circumnavigated by any single one of those faculties. They are not limited or bound by their selflessness because they also know when to fight back; they are not limited by their urges to fight because they also know how to be peaceful; they are not duped by their own honesty because they have the intellect enough to know when to hold their tongues, and so on and so forth. When put in a situation where the only obvious choices would be to either die or to fight back, a Divergent could easily take an alternative path, for example, jump into the canal and swim to safety, to avoid both death and fighting (fighting would result in major injuries). And that's just one small example of how a Divergent would deal with a scenario. In other words, a Divergent would be able to pull upon other faculties outside his/her own expected "faction" of behaviour, in order to apply the most applicable action, to garner the most beneficial and favourable outcome.
When I watched the movies, I knew I was Divergent! And I know that every single person who watched the movies and reads the novels thinks that about themselves, but I really do know what I'm saying. People want to belong and people need to belong. Some just don't belong because they can't belong, because their brains want to pull on many faculties, in order to choose the most favourable outcomes.
I wish there were more Divergents. Divergents could really push humankind forward! Imagine, we all want to have compassionate leaders; however, when push comes to shove, those very same leaders need to be able to make decisions to protect their own people, and not the rest of the world! So where are they supposed to draw the line of compassion? Because they need to draw it somewhere. On the other hand, we need leaders who know how to go to war; nonetheless, we can't have total war freaks who do nothing but spend all the nation's money on weapons and plots! We need Divergent leaders, leaders who can't be lumped into one faction and predicted according to the qualities of that faction! We need leaders who are capable of immediately pulling onto needed faculties that are applicable to given situations! But how is this ever going to happen, when the political parties, themselves, are factions in and of themselves! And I don't think I even have to explain that, do I? You have left and right and up and down and whatever! Those are all just factions. But how will that ever work? For example, you have a Presidential candidate on the right, who is 100% against abortion. I am against abortion in most cases; however, in the case that a nine year old girl is raped by her father or her brother or her cousin— or any man— and gets pregnant by that, I am in favour of abortion. It's a case-to-case basis! You need to know when to pull on a different inherent quality, to apply to a different outward situation! Meanwhile, we have Presidential candidates on the left who are always for abortion, no matter what, so as a result we have irresponsible grown ass women who get abortion after abortion after abortion, just because they don't feel like using condoms or taking birth control pills! And that's something that has to stop, because that is irresponsible and shameful! So as you can see, Divergents need to now arise to leader positions in the world, because without Divergents, the future of humanity is really going nowhere.
I hope you now will all have a firm grasp on what I am referring to when I use the term "Divergent." And better yet, I hope this article has got you thinking more about what it means for the future of our species. Thank you for reading, and have a joy-filled day! :)
There are five factions: Dauntless (The Brave), Amity (The Peaceful), Candor (The Honest), Abnegation (The Selfless), and Erudite (The Intellectual). All children go through a serum-induced psychological test, to determine how their brains respond to a variety of situations. Typically, they are induced into hallucinations and their reactions to situations are monitored on-screen. Depending on how they save themselves in certain situations, how they deal with what's presented to them— they are then placed into whichever faction they belong to. Now, Divergents are the ones who break all the known ways of handling the tests. Divergents are all five of the factions put together, and they are considered outcasts, they are considered as threats, and are hunted down for the kill. A Divergent knows when to be brave, when to be peaceful, when to be honest, when to be selfless, and when to exercise intelligence. Albeit, they may struggle with exactly when each quality is needed, but then that's all just a part of growing up and becoming! The bottom line is that, all of their faculties are fully-functioning and they are not circumnavigated by any single one of those faculties. They are not limited or bound by their selflessness because they also know when to fight back; they are not limited by their urges to fight because they also know how to be peaceful; they are not duped by their own honesty because they have the intellect enough to know when to hold their tongues, and so on and so forth. When put in a situation where the only obvious choices would be to either die or to fight back, a Divergent could easily take an alternative path, for example, jump into the canal and swim to safety, to avoid both death and fighting (fighting would result in major injuries). And that's just one small example of how a Divergent would deal with a scenario. In other words, a Divergent would be able to pull upon other faculties outside his/her own expected "faction" of behaviour, in order to apply the most applicable action, to garner the most beneficial and favourable outcome.
When I watched the movies, I knew I was Divergent! And I know that every single person who watched the movies and reads the novels thinks that about themselves, but I really do know what I'm saying. People want to belong and people need to belong. Some just don't belong because they can't belong, because their brains want to pull on many faculties, in order to choose the most favourable outcomes.
I wish there were more Divergents. Divergents could really push humankind forward! Imagine, we all want to have compassionate leaders; however, when push comes to shove, those very same leaders need to be able to make decisions to protect their own people, and not the rest of the world! So where are they supposed to draw the line of compassion? Because they need to draw it somewhere. On the other hand, we need leaders who know how to go to war; nonetheless, we can't have total war freaks who do nothing but spend all the nation's money on weapons and plots! We need Divergent leaders, leaders who can't be lumped into one faction and predicted according to the qualities of that faction! We need leaders who are capable of immediately pulling onto needed faculties that are applicable to given situations! But how is this ever going to happen, when the political parties, themselves, are factions in and of themselves! And I don't think I even have to explain that, do I? You have left and right and up and down and whatever! Those are all just factions. But how will that ever work? For example, you have a Presidential candidate on the right, who is 100% against abortion. I am against abortion in most cases; however, in the case that a nine year old girl is raped by her father or her brother or her cousin— or any man— and gets pregnant by that, I am in favour of abortion. It's a case-to-case basis! You need to know when to pull on a different inherent quality, to apply to a different outward situation! Meanwhile, we have Presidential candidates on the left who are always for abortion, no matter what, so as a result we have irresponsible grown ass women who get abortion after abortion after abortion, just because they don't feel like using condoms or taking birth control pills! And that's something that has to stop, because that is irresponsible and shameful! So as you can see, Divergents need to now arise to leader positions in the world, because without Divergents, the future of humanity is really going nowhere.
I hope you now will all have a firm grasp on what I am referring to when I use the term "Divergent." And better yet, I hope this article has got you thinking more about what it means for the future of our species. Thank you for reading, and have a joy-filled day! :)
September 29, 2015
This Is How I Am Divergent
I remember that day in Florence (Firenze), I was standing there on the sidewalk next to a gelateria, all alone. I was traveling all alone to begin with, and that day I wasn't spending with newfound Florentine friends, either. There was an old lady in a wheelchair out on the street, surrounded by about a dozen suitcases, out in the heat, all alone, and she started calling out to me! Immediately, I assessed the situation— she was old, in a wheelchair, and left with a dozen suitcases in the middle of the street, it was terribly hot— the whole scenario was very unlikely; and yet, there it was, before my eyes! And she was calling out to me! I walked out to her and she spoke to me in Italian, holding out some money in her hand, asking me to buy her some gelato from the gelateria at the corner where I was standing at before she called me out onto the street.
I know that I am a compassionate person. And I know that I am highly empathic and sensitive. But I am also analytical and I am not stupid and I am not easily played. Though I saw that the old lady was in a wheelchair and it was very hot and she needed some gelato, I could not bring myself to take the money from her hand and go and do as she was asking me to! The scenario was too unlikely. First of all, nobody in their right mind, in Italy, leaves their great grandmother stranded on a hot day, in the street, surrounded by a dozen suitcases! Secondly, why wasn't she asking that I buy her water? Why ask for gelato? In a scenario like that, you don't ask for ice cream, but you ask for water! It was very, very hot! I could put together the rest of the probable puzzle from there— she, having been able to gauge my levels of sympathy/compassion, would then make a bigger request— that I assist her in bringing her luggage somewhere (God knows where)! And then from there I could make out that she was probably not really alone, at all. I mean, why would she be alone? How did all that luggage get there, in the first place? Did she tag them along behind her in her wheelchair? Of course not! And, you know, Florence is full of Mafia, who knows if the whole thing was a set up and who knows what was in those many, many suitcases! I could have easily been framed for pushing drugs, locked up in Florence, and detained until a court hearing! A never-ending nightmare!
I could have helped the old lady and gained favour in the eyes of all the onlookers (there were plenty), risking my own safety and going against my better judgment; or, I could call the bunch of other travelers over there, who were traveling in a group, and ask if they could assist her, because a group of travelers would be a more unlikely target for any shadowy plans like the ones I had analysed to be possible. So, I did the latter. I walked up to the group of travelers a meter away, and I asked them if they would not help her. I explained what she wanted, and explained why I felt I shouldn't do it. They agreed that if they were in my position, they would have done the same as me, and then they proceeded to helping her. That way, if she was legitimately looking for help in the form of a simple cup of gelato, then she would get her needed help, and it didn't matter to me if I looked like a bad person or not. She would have gotten her help, that's what was important! And, if the actual scenario was as how I had analysed it to possibly be, then I had just saved myself from ruining my future!
The moral of this very true story, that occurred in Summer of 2010, is that empathy is compassion with intelligence, and that our compassion should never become a tool by which we may be used by others as a means to their own ends that may be harmful to us. We should not sacrifice our intelligence for appearances. If you indeed want to help, there is another way to help that might not make you look like a good person, but the outcome for the one in need would be exactly the same! And that's how true empathy is measured, I believe. If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same exact thing! And I teach my son the same, as well. I hope you've enjoyed my short lecture for today, may joy be with you! Run along now, run along! :)
I know that I am a compassionate person. And I know that I am highly empathic and sensitive. But I am also analytical and I am not stupid and I am not easily played. Though I saw that the old lady was in a wheelchair and it was very hot and she needed some gelato, I could not bring myself to take the money from her hand and go and do as she was asking me to! The scenario was too unlikely. First of all, nobody in their right mind, in Italy, leaves their great grandmother stranded on a hot day, in the street, surrounded by a dozen suitcases! Secondly, why wasn't she asking that I buy her water? Why ask for gelato? In a scenario like that, you don't ask for ice cream, but you ask for water! It was very, very hot! I could put together the rest of the probable puzzle from there— she, having been able to gauge my levels of sympathy/compassion, would then make a bigger request— that I assist her in bringing her luggage somewhere (God knows where)! And then from there I could make out that she was probably not really alone, at all. I mean, why would she be alone? How did all that luggage get there, in the first place? Did she tag them along behind her in her wheelchair? Of course not! And, you know, Florence is full of Mafia, who knows if the whole thing was a set up and who knows what was in those many, many suitcases! I could have easily been framed for pushing drugs, locked up in Florence, and detained until a court hearing! A never-ending nightmare!
I could have helped the old lady and gained favour in the eyes of all the onlookers (there were plenty), risking my own safety and going against my better judgment; or, I could call the bunch of other travelers over there, who were traveling in a group, and ask if they could assist her, because a group of travelers would be a more unlikely target for any shadowy plans like the ones I had analysed to be possible. So, I did the latter. I walked up to the group of travelers a meter away, and I asked them if they would not help her. I explained what she wanted, and explained why I felt I shouldn't do it. They agreed that if they were in my position, they would have done the same as me, and then they proceeded to helping her. That way, if she was legitimately looking for help in the form of a simple cup of gelato, then she would get her needed help, and it didn't matter to me if I looked like a bad person or not. She would have gotten her help, that's what was important! And, if the actual scenario was as how I had analysed it to possibly be, then I had just saved myself from ruining my future!
The moral of this very true story, that occurred in Summer of 2010, is that empathy is compassion with intelligence, and that our compassion should never become a tool by which we may be used by others as a means to their own ends that may be harmful to us. We should not sacrifice our intelligence for appearances. If you indeed want to help, there is another way to help that might not make you look like a good person, but the outcome for the one in need would be exactly the same! And that's how true empathy is measured, I believe. If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same exact thing! And I teach my son the same, as well. I hope you've enjoyed my short lecture for today, may joy be with you! Run along now, run along! :)
