C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 22
June 22, 2015
Men These Days...
We all know that it is a travesty when a man puts his own physical safety over the physical safety of a woman. No one is happy to see a guy hide behind a tree, whilst watching his girlfriend being maulled by a lion. No one is going to be happy about a guy hiding behind a woman in order to dodge a punch or a kick! Nobody wants to see a man put his own physical safety before the woman's. And yet, what I observe so often these days, is how many men wouldn't even for a moment, put their own emotional safety second to that of a woman's. In fact, at the very hint that he might get hurt, many guys these days will lunge out and hurt her first, or, send out unnecessary warning signs that if she hurts him, he will surely hurt her back, and even worse than what she is capable of doing!
I used to know a guy who would so quickly say to me, "Anything you do to me, I can do to you, too" and that was just over innocent, lighthearted banter! It shocked me. What a shame to see a big, tall, strong man so quickly go into defensive mode over nothing! It really is akin to watching a turtle trying to climb into an oyster shell! I feel embarrassed for men who act like that. It's like me defending myself against a hummingbird, because I think that the sound of its wings might be something like a rattlesnake warning; but it's really not, it's just the humming of a pair of wings! I would be embarrassed of myself if I were to do such a thing, would I not? I would be embarrassed of my own ignorance.
Why do many men expect of themselves to be strong and big on the outside; but weak and small on the inside? Why is it all about what's on the outside that is supposed to matter? Okay, don't hit a woman, and that is supposed to make you a real man? Just because you don't hit a woman, that is supposed to mean you are a real man? So how do we define real men? Merely by their ability to control their fists? Wow, what neanderthal definitions we have for men these days!
There are so many men emotionally defending themselves from women, it's really a pitiful sight to see. They're strong on the outside; but not on the inside. You'd think women are really capable of hurting them! But then that makes me actually think... are women really that capable of hurting big, strong men? To the point that they've become like big turtles stuffing themselves into tiny oyster shells? And have men these days really been hurt to such a point that they no longer see women as beautiful creatures; but rather, some kind of conniving monsters that they need to be wary about and protect themselves from? Maybe it's time that women everywhere realise our potential to touch the lives of men either in a negative or a positive way, and become actively mindful and conscious of that capacity. Perhaps a lighter hand could create miracles, perhaps a gentler approach would do wonders— what do you think?
Look, let's get the record straight here— there are lots of women who have been hurt by men and there are lots of men who have been hurt by women. And for every feminist woman out there who says that she is just as strong as any man physically and emotionally, there are ten women like me who believe that men are in fact physically stronger and are also capable of being emotionally stronger. I have no problems with men being stronger than me! In fact, please men, everywhere, please be stronger than me! Please be stronger than women!
Every individual needs to see every other individual as a distinct person; and not through the filters of past experiences! It is very easy to fall into the trap of being unable to see a person standing in front of you, because the filters you hold over your eyes still bear the image of a person from a long time ago! I myself fall into this trap all too often and it's something that I consciously work on, in order to overcome it! Or maybe your eyes hold the vision of a person that you read in a magazine that isn't even a relevant part of your life and never will be a relevant part of your life, because he/she was just a person who wrote something in some magazine somewhere! Or you watch The Bachelor and you see manipulative, conniving women trying to win the bachelor's heart! But for Godsake, it's a T.V. show, they are of course conniving and manipulative, because they are there to be on a T.V. show! I know that I am very impressionable, and that I am so easily left affected and even hurt, by the things that I see, regardless of whether they are relevant events or factors in my own life, or not! But I have to stop and realise the truth. You need to do the same, too! All that stuff that's going on out there— that's not yours. And all that stuff that's happened to you before— that's over. Hurting someone emotionally, or allowing them to get hurt emotionally, whilst protecting your own self, is a very cowardly act. Wounds of the soul take longer to heal than wounds of the body.
I once said that there are so many fine men, everywhere, all of whom are so scared of the fish swimming in the river, that they instead stand at the riverbend, pointing at the fish, terrified of what the fish "mean." But for Godsake, they don't mean anything; they are just fish! And please do not let the woman jump into the river first before you, just to see if the fish will eat her or not! Maybe there are some women who would be happy to do that for you; but I am certainly not one of them, and I know that there are also others like me.
It is a very attractive thing to find a man who is strong on the inside, as he is on the outside. In fact, inner strength is not only a very attractive feature in all people, everywhere, but it is a necessary tool in life.
I used to know a guy who would so quickly say to me, "Anything you do to me, I can do to you, too" and that was just over innocent, lighthearted banter! It shocked me. What a shame to see a big, tall, strong man so quickly go into defensive mode over nothing! It really is akin to watching a turtle trying to climb into an oyster shell! I feel embarrassed for men who act like that. It's like me defending myself against a hummingbird, because I think that the sound of its wings might be something like a rattlesnake warning; but it's really not, it's just the humming of a pair of wings! I would be embarrassed of myself if I were to do such a thing, would I not? I would be embarrassed of my own ignorance.
Why do many men expect of themselves to be strong and big on the outside; but weak and small on the inside? Why is it all about what's on the outside that is supposed to matter? Okay, don't hit a woman, and that is supposed to make you a real man? Just because you don't hit a woman, that is supposed to mean you are a real man? So how do we define real men? Merely by their ability to control their fists? Wow, what neanderthal definitions we have for men these days!
There are so many men emotionally defending themselves from women, it's really a pitiful sight to see. They're strong on the outside; but not on the inside. You'd think women are really capable of hurting them! But then that makes me actually think... are women really that capable of hurting big, strong men? To the point that they've become like big turtles stuffing themselves into tiny oyster shells? And have men these days really been hurt to such a point that they no longer see women as beautiful creatures; but rather, some kind of conniving monsters that they need to be wary about and protect themselves from? Maybe it's time that women everywhere realise our potential to touch the lives of men either in a negative or a positive way, and become actively mindful and conscious of that capacity. Perhaps a lighter hand could create miracles, perhaps a gentler approach would do wonders— what do you think?
Look, let's get the record straight here— there are lots of women who have been hurt by men and there are lots of men who have been hurt by women. And for every feminist woman out there who says that she is just as strong as any man physically and emotionally, there are ten women like me who believe that men are in fact physically stronger and are also capable of being emotionally stronger. I have no problems with men being stronger than me! In fact, please men, everywhere, please be stronger than me! Please be stronger than women!
Every individual needs to see every other individual as a distinct person; and not through the filters of past experiences! It is very easy to fall into the trap of being unable to see a person standing in front of you, because the filters you hold over your eyes still bear the image of a person from a long time ago! I myself fall into this trap all too often and it's something that I consciously work on, in order to overcome it! Or maybe your eyes hold the vision of a person that you read in a magazine that isn't even a relevant part of your life and never will be a relevant part of your life, because he/she was just a person who wrote something in some magazine somewhere! Or you watch The Bachelor and you see manipulative, conniving women trying to win the bachelor's heart! But for Godsake, it's a T.V. show, they are of course conniving and manipulative, because they are there to be on a T.V. show! I know that I am very impressionable, and that I am so easily left affected and even hurt, by the things that I see, regardless of whether they are relevant events or factors in my own life, or not! But I have to stop and realise the truth. You need to do the same, too! All that stuff that's going on out there— that's not yours. And all that stuff that's happened to you before— that's over. Hurting someone emotionally, or allowing them to get hurt emotionally, whilst protecting your own self, is a very cowardly act. Wounds of the soul take longer to heal than wounds of the body.
I once said that there are so many fine men, everywhere, all of whom are so scared of the fish swimming in the river, that they instead stand at the riverbend, pointing at the fish, terrified of what the fish "mean." But for Godsake, they don't mean anything; they are just fish! And please do not let the woman jump into the river first before you, just to see if the fish will eat her or not! Maybe there are some women who would be happy to do that for you; but I am certainly not one of them, and I know that there are also others like me.
It is a very attractive thing to find a man who is strong on the inside, as he is on the outside. In fact, inner strength is not only a very attractive feature in all people, everywhere, but it is a necessary tool in life.
My Favourite Clairsentient
Hey wonderfuls, today I'd like to share with you some words quoted from one of my favourite books, written by my favourite clairsentient, George William Russell. He is a mystic after my own heart, as I truly understand his expressed sentiments in his writings. I thought I would share this today, categorised under "Gnosis of Soul". You'll see here how he vividly describes what it is like to be clairsentient and claircognizant, and also what the process of soul alchemy is like.
I think I will also add these quotes to the Gnosis of Soul photo album over at my Facebook Page, in order to illustrate along with images.
Without further ado, George William Russell:
"Where does this vision end? What are its limitations? Would we, fully come to ourselves, be like those beings in the Apocalypse full of eyes within and without? Would we, in the fulness of power, act through many men and speak through many voices? Were Shakespeare and the great masters unconscious magi, blind visionaries, feeling and comprehending a life they could not see, or who, if they saw, thought it was their own creation. We must ask ourselves these questions, for, when our lamp is lit, we find the house of our being has many chambers, and creatures live there who come and go, and we must ask whether they have the right to be in our house; and there are corridors there leading into the hearts of others, and windows which open into eternity, and we hardly can tell where our own being ends and another begins, or if there is any end to our being."
"We are haunted by unknown comrades in many moods, whose naked souls pass through ours, and reveal themselves to us in an unforgettable instant, and we know them as we hardly know those who are the daily comrades of our heart, who, however intimate, are hidden from us by the husk of the body. As the inner life grows richer we beget more of these affinities. We wonder what relation with them is rightly ours. Do we affect them by a sympathy unknown to them as they move us by a revelation more intimate than could be uttered by words? We discover in ourselves a new sense. By touch with the soul we understand. We realise how profound was that ancient wisdom which told us when we were perfected in concentration we could gain full comprehension of anything we wished by intent brooding. I never attained that perfectness of concentration, but I saw the possibilities in moments of electric intensity of will when I summoned out of the past a knowledge I desired. How is this knowledge possible? Is there a centre within us through which all the threads of the universe are drawn, a spiritual atom which mirrors the spiritual infinitudes even as the eye is a mirror of the external heavens?"
"How are we to explain what has happened to many, and oftentimes to myself, that when we sit amid ancient ruins or in old houses they renew their life for us?"
"Even inanimate things were under the sway of these affinities. They yielded up to me what they had specially for my eyes. I have glanced in passing at a book left open by some one in a library, and the words first seen thrilled me, for they confirmed a knowledge lately attained in vision."
"For myself I think man is a protean being, within whose unity there is diversity, and there are creatures in the soul which can inform the images of our memory, or the eternal memory, aye, and speak through them to us in dream, so that we hear their voices... We can make such general speculations about all pictures moving before the inner eye, and it is always worth while investigating the anatomy of vision and to be intent on what appears to us, for if we have intentness we have memory. A mental picture which at first had yielded nothing to us may be followed by others which indicate a relation to the earliest in the series so that they seem like pages read at different times from the same book."
Below, you will find he is no longer speaking of clairsentience and claircognizance, but that he is now talking about Soul Alchemy (the basis of Theosophy):
"...that alchemy by which what is gross in us may be transmuted into ethereal fires. Our religions make promises to be fulfilled beyond the grave because they have no knowledge now to be put to the test, but the ancients spake of a divine vision to be attained while we are yet in the body."
"He stands in the shallow waters, nor has gone into the great deep, nor been tossed at the mercy of the waves. Let him rouse the arcane powers in himself, and he will feel like one who has let loose the avalanche. None would live through that turmoil if the will were the only power in ourselves we could invoke, for the will is neither good nor bad but is power only, and it vitalises good or bad indifferently."
"...and he translates into lower terms what is the speech of the gods to men."
Now, I'm not going to give you the title of this book, because I know that those who are truly called to read this book, will find it for themselves. And those who aren't, will be too lazy to do so. And these things, after all, should only be further studied, by those for whom they are meant. :)
I think I will also add these quotes to the Gnosis of Soul photo album over at my Facebook Page, in order to illustrate along with images.
Without further ado, George William Russell:
"Where does this vision end? What are its limitations? Would we, fully come to ourselves, be like those beings in the Apocalypse full of eyes within and without? Would we, in the fulness of power, act through many men and speak through many voices? Were Shakespeare and the great masters unconscious magi, blind visionaries, feeling and comprehending a life they could not see, or who, if they saw, thought it was their own creation. We must ask ourselves these questions, for, when our lamp is lit, we find the house of our being has many chambers, and creatures live there who come and go, and we must ask whether they have the right to be in our house; and there are corridors there leading into the hearts of others, and windows which open into eternity, and we hardly can tell where our own being ends and another begins, or if there is any end to our being."
"We are haunted by unknown comrades in many moods, whose naked souls pass through ours, and reveal themselves to us in an unforgettable instant, and we know them as we hardly know those who are the daily comrades of our heart, who, however intimate, are hidden from us by the husk of the body. As the inner life grows richer we beget more of these affinities. We wonder what relation with them is rightly ours. Do we affect them by a sympathy unknown to them as they move us by a revelation more intimate than could be uttered by words? We discover in ourselves a new sense. By touch with the soul we understand. We realise how profound was that ancient wisdom which told us when we were perfected in concentration we could gain full comprehension of anything we wished by intent brooding. I never attained that perfectness of concentration, but I saw the possibilities in moments of electric intensity of will when I summoned out of the past a knowledge I desired. How is this knowledge possible? Is there a centre within us through which all the threads of the universe are drawn, a spiritual atom which mirrors the spiritual infinitudes even as the eye is a mirror of the external heavens?"
"How are we to explain what has happened to many, and oftentimes to myself, that when we sit amid ancient ruins or in old houses they renew their life for us?"
"Even inanimate things were under the sway of these affinities. They yielded up to me what they had specially for my eyes. I have glanced in passing at a book left open by some one in a library, and the words first seen thrilled me, for they confirmed a knowledge lately attained in vision."
"For myself I think man is a protean being, within whose unity there is diversity, and there are creatures in the soul which can inform the images of our memory, or the eternal memory, aye, and speak through them to us in dream, so that we hear their voices... We can make such general speculations about all pictures moving before the inner eye, and it is always worth while investigating the anatomy of vision and to be intent on what appears to us, for if we have intentness we have memory. A mental picture which at first had yielded nothing to us may be followed by others which indicate a relation to the earliest in the series so that they seem like pages read at different times from the same book."
Below, you will find he is no longer speaking of clairsentience and claircognizance, but that he is now talking about Soul Alchemy (the basis of Theosophy):
"...that alchemy by which what is gross in us may be transmuted into ethereal fires. Our religions make promises to be fulfilled beyond the grave because they have no knowledge now to be put to the test, but the ancients spake of a divine vision to be attained while we are yet in the body."
"He stands in the shallow waters, nor has gone into the great deep, nor been tossed at the mercy of the waves. Let him rouse the arcane powers in himself, and he will feel like one who has let loose the avalanche. None would live through that turmoil if the will were the only power in ourselves we could invoke, for the will is neither good nor bad but is power only, and it vitalises good or bad indifferently."
"...and he translates into lower terms what is the speech of the gods to men."
Now, I'm not going to give you the title of this book, because I know that those who are truly called to read this book, will find it for themselves. And those who aren't, will be too lazy to do so. And these things, after all, should only be further studied, by those for whom they are meant. :)
June 21, 2015
The Whereabouts of Soul
I believe that we traverse this Earth, to find the missing materials that we need, for building our eternal homes in the world that is adjacent to this one. Adjacent and unseen; but not undetectable. But then during our lives here, we also utilise materials from our eternal space, for using as we build our lives here in our corporeal space. It is a give-and-take relationship. A give-and-take relationship between our bodies and our souls, between our minds and our spirits. There are materials here that are needed there and those are what we harvest whilst being here. But there are also many materials there that are needed here and those are what we pull into our lives while we are here.
I of course do not think that this is being done by everybody, but I believe that this is being done by some. Some know this is what they are doing, while others later on realise this is what they have been doing all along.
"Heaven" is actually a country that we build within ourselves, or that we continue to build. We come from it, and we harvest materials for it while we are here, doing this through sharing our talents with others, and through being dedicated to our relationships in life, through loving others and through strengthening our ability to believe, through our faith. What is faith? Faith is the strength to believe even when believing is a very difficult thing to do! I think that faith is acquired here in this world, because there is no need to have faith in our eternal countries. But here, as we acquire faith in the midst of our hardships, we are begetting unto our eternal countries the strong glue that holds some buildings and some temples together. It is all for the adjacent world that we do this. And yet, we may bring that world into this one, just the same as our voices are the sounds of our souls speaking through our throats; so are our eternal cities and eternal colours the breath that we breathe while in this life. And sometimes, breath materialises in condensation, and even more, in snow! It can be real. All of it can be real. We need not be limited by physical matter; but we may choose what to make into physical matter. We may choose our realities, mould them, create them, cause them to bloom in front of our eyes.
I believe that we are not determined either to heaven or to hell, through our actions here on Earth. On the contrary, I believe that we come either from heaven or from hell, prior to this life, and we carry our prior origins inside of us, at all times. People just go back to where they originally came from. And they live in this life as a result of where they once were. Of course, we have the capacities to develop and to build and to create more, while we are here, and perhaps even to change the course of our destinies, but I believe that the soul matter of individuals, are varied and are not of all the same origins.
Perhaps a human simply falls back into himself upon the disintegration of his physical body, and continues to take form within the self of himself, simply returning from whence he came.
I of course do not think that this is being done by everybody, but I believe that this is being done by some. Some know this is what they are doing, while others later on realise this is what they have been doing all along.
"Heaven" is actually a country that we build within ourselves, or that we continue to build. We come from it, and we harvest materials for it while we are here, doing this through sharing our talents with others, and through being dedicated to our relationships in life, through loving others and through strengthening our ability to believe, through our faith. What is faith? Faith is the strength to believe even when believing is a very difficult thing to do! I think that faith is acquired here in this world, because there is no need to have faith in our eternal countries. But here, as we acquire faith in the midst of our hardships, we are begetting unto our eternal countries the strong glue that holds some buildings and some temples together. It is all for the adjacent world that we do this. And yet, we may bring that world into this one, just the same as our voices are the sounds of our souls speaking through our throats; so are our eternal cities and eternal colours the breath that we breathe while in this life. And sometimes, breath materialises in condensation, and even more, in snow! It can be real. All of it can be real. We need not be limited by physical matter; but we may choose what to make into physical matter. We may choose our realities, mould them, create them, cause them to bloom in front of our eyes.
I believe that we are not determined either to heaven or to hell, through our actions here on Earth. On the contrary, I believe that we come either from heaven or from hell, prior to this life, and we carry our prior origins inside of us, at all times. People just go back to where they originally came from. And they live in this life as a result of where they once were. Of course, we have the capacities to develop and to build and to create more, while we are here, and perhaps even to change the course of our destinies, but I believe that the soul matter of individuals, are varied and are not of all the same origins.
Perhaps a human simply falls back into himself upon the disintegration of his physical body, and continues to take form within the self of himself, simply returning from whence he came.
June 19, 2015
The Alchemy of Sex
I find it funny how people view sex as something purely physical and animalistic in nature. Sex is never associated with innocence, is it not? Or with purity! But why? Why is it that in our minds, this act is never associated with innocence and with spirit? Why is it always categorised as "lust", and lust categorised as "animalistic", as only physical, as only material in nature?
When we think about religion today, for example, when we think about Christianity, we immediately think of sex being impure unless it is done in the confines of marriage. Funny. How can a holy religion cause a natural thing to become unholy? And I bet you have never heard that before and I bet I have just opened your eyes right there (that's called gnosis). Think of this again: How can a holy belief system, cause a natural act to become unholy? Can what is holy cause anything natural to become unholy? Is something holy if it can cast unholiness upon a natural act that is actually an act responsible for the continuation of the human race?
People ignorantly assume that Paganism treated sex as unholy and animalistic; but nothing can be further from the truth! The ancient belief systems now called "Paganism", actually regarded sex as a holy act, in itself, responsible for the elevation of the spirit. And why not think that? Why not believe that? The act that is responsible for the continuation of the human race, should in fact naturally be held in regard as also being responsible for the elevation and enlightenment of the spirit! What is the elevation and the enlightenment of the spirit? It is innocence. The more enlightened and elevated a soul is— the more childlike it is in nature!
It is entirely through a system of brainwashing that we have all come to regard the act of sex as something unholy unless you go to get papers done for it saying that you can do it. And since when has paperwork made anything holy! Hahahha! Can papers filled out here on Earth make something holy? Can what is below validate what is above? Is it the lesser that is responsible for bringing up the higher? In what insane existence is this so? Why is it that people believe that outward acts are responsible for the condition of their souls that are inside of them? It is in fact the condition of your soul that is inside of you, which produces the effect of the outward acts that you do! And do you know who first said this? Jesus did!
We honour and we revere the act of sex, not only because it is the greatest pleasure that mankind is capable of experiencing; but because it is in fact an act that truly elevates the spirit and the soul. Of course, when you have sex with no gnosis, as dumb as a doorknob and as insentient as a nail, then this is the same thing as dogs copulating; but take note of this: the effect is merely a result of the cause! The cause being that the individual is already initially insentient! Therefore, an insentient individual with the sense of a nail, can only produce what is of his/her own nature. It is not the result that takes effect upon the cause! It is the cause (the initiator of the act) that is responsible for bringing forth the effect!
We honour and we revere the act of sex, not only when it is done in the confines of marriage as stated by major religions; but we honour and we revere the act of sex, because it is an act sacred to the human race. We bring new souls into the world through this act; we unite our soul with another through this act; we experience the most ecstatic of pleasures through this act. We honour the act shared between two people, as belonging to themselves, we honour and we revere their relationship, because it is a bond shared between the two. We honour marriage— yes we do. We honour people's relationships— yes we do. And we honour it even more, when we are awakened to the fact that it is a divine act, innocent in itself.
Not all souls are equal— this is the hard-to-swallow truth. But it is the truth, nonetheless. It is the nature of the soul that is responsible for both the filth in this world and for the beauty in this world. Insentient souls produce all things damaging and horrific; sentient souls produce all things beautiful and divine. The same goes with sex! It is not the act of marriage that purifies sex and holds it in innocence; but it is the state of the soul that does this! Impure souls, even within marriage, cannot produce spiritual elevation through sex! The same goes for pure souls outside of marriage; the lack of a marriage certificate is not going to cause a lack of soul bonds between partners who produce beauty together, through this act.
Now, I am not saying that I am against marriage and I am not saying that I am against religion. I am not against anything; I am in fact only looking at the truth. How does one look at truth? One looks at truth by stepping outside of the range of vision that normal people are capable of seeing things in, and seeing EVERYTHING THAT IS TO BE SEEN. Truth is seen by eyes of eagles!
Why is lust any lesser, anyway? I should want to love whom I lust and lust whom I love! Why have people tried to separate their objects of desire from their objects of devotion? Cannot one desire what one is devoted to and also be devoted to what one desires? We are souls inside bodies, are we not? Cannot the soul and the body live in harmony and reverence one for the other? I think this is the way that it should be. What has religion done? Religion has only sought to separate the two; creating a vision within the mind that dictates one is worthy of hellfire while one is worthy of heavenly clouds! Preposterous! And so we are to worship a God who has put a Heavenly thing within a Hellbound thing? Who in their right mind would worship such a God? I do not believe that our bodies are hellbound while our souls are heavenbound! If there is any divinity in me, then may it be all throughout me! The carnality, the hedonism, the purity, the innocence— this is all divine, altogether! At least, in me I know it is!
Sex can be innocent, pure, and ecstatic, all at the same time! It depends upon the condition of the souls involved. It is not a heinous act that must be purified by prison time; it is not an act of murder! It is in fact quite the opposite of that! Why must we, in our minds, separate our lust from our love? Why not let the two dance together? Why not respect both and thereby purify the deemed lesser material into what is pure and what is gold! If you think something is made of mere coal, then do not simply throw the coal to the side! Take the coal and make it into gold! And better yet— do not have any coal at all! But only filter everything through your filters of gold! And this is how you shall identify holiness! Holiness is what is capable of purifying that which it touches!
When we think about religion today, for example, when we think about Christianity, we immediately think of sex being impure unless it is done in the confines of marriage. Funny. How can a holy religion cause a natural thing to become unholy? And I bet you have never heard that before and I bet I have just opened your eyes right there (that's called gnosis). Think of this again: How can a holy belief system, cause a natural act to become unholy? Can what is holy cause anything natural to become unholy? Is something holy if it can cast unholiness upon a natural act that is actually an act responsible for the continuation of the human race?
People ignorantly assume that Paganism treated sex as unholy and animalistic; but nothing can be further from the truth! The ancient belief systems now called "Paganism", actually regarded sex as a holy act, in itself, responsible for the elevation of the spirit. And why not think that? Why not believe that? The act that is responsible for the continuation of the human race, should in fact naturally be held in regard as also being responsible for the elevation and enlightenment of the spirit! What is the elevation and the enlightenment of the spirit? It is innocence. The more enlightened and elevated a soul is— the more childlike it is in nature!
It is entirely through a system of brainwashing that we have all come to regard the act of sex as something unholy unless you go to get papers done for it saying that you can do it. And since when has paperwork made anything holy! Hahahha! Can papers filled out here on Earth make something holy? Can what is below validate what is above? Is it the lesser that is responsible for bringing up the higher? In what insane existence is this so? Why is it that people believe that outward acts are responsible for the condition of their souls that are inside of them? It is in fact the condition of your soul that is inside of you, which produces the effect of the outward acts that you do! And do you know who first said this? Jesus did!
We honour and we revere the act of sex, not only because it is the greatest pleasure that mankind is capable of experiencing; but because it is in fact an act that truly elevates the spirit and the soul. Of course, when you have sex with no gnosis, as dumb as a doorknob and as insentient as a nail, then this is the same thing as dogs copulating; but take note of this: the effect is merely a result of the cause! The cause being that the individual is already initially insentient! Therefore, an insentient individual with the sense of a nail, can only produce what is of his/her own nature. It is not the result that takes effect upon the cause! It is the cause (the initiator of the act) that is responsible for bringing forth the effect!
We honour and we revere the act of sex, not only when it is done in the confines of marriage as stated by major religions; but we honour and we revere the act of sex, because it is an act sacred to the human race. We bring new souls into the world through this act; we unite our soul with another through this act; we experience the most ecstatic of pleasures through this act. We honour the act shared between two people, as belonging to themselves, we honour and we revere their relationship, because it is a bond shared between the two. We honour marriage— yes we do. We honour people's relationships— yes we do. And we honour it even more, when we are awakened to the fact that it is a divine act, innocent in itself.
Not all souls are equal— this is the hard-to-swallow truth. But it is the truth, nonetheless. It is the nature of the soul that is responsible for both the filth in this world and for the beauty in this world. Insentient souls produce all things damaging and horrific; sentient souls produce all things beautiful and divine. The same goes with sex! It is not the act of marriage that purifies sex and holds it in innocence; but it is the state of the soul that does this! Impure souls, even within marriage, cannot produce spiritual elevation through sex! The same goes for pure souls outside of marriage; the lack of a marriage certificate is not going to cause a lack of soul bonds between partners who produce beauty together, through this act.
Now, I am not saying that I am against marriage and I am not saying that I am against religion. I am not against anything; I am in fact only looking at the truth. How does one look at truth? One looks at truth by stepping outside of the range of vision that normal people are capable of seeing things in, and seeing EVERYTHING THAT IS TO BE SEEN. Truth is seen by eyes of eagles!
Why is lust any lesser, anyway? I should want to love whom I lust and lust whom I love! Why have people tried to separate their objects of desire from their objects of devotion? Cannot one desire what one is devoted to and also be devoted to what one desires? We are souls inside bodies, are we not? Cannot the soul and the body live in harmony and reverence one for the other? I think this is the way that it should be. What has religion done? Religion has only sought to separate the two; creating a vision within the mind that dictates one is worthy of hellfire while one is worthy of heavenly clouds! Preposterous! And so we are to worship a God who has put a Heavenly thing within a Hellbound thing? Who in their right mind would worship such a God? I do not believe that our bodies are hellbound while our souls are heavenbound! If there is any divinity in me, then may it be all throughout me! The carnality, the hedonism, the purity, the innocence— this is all divine, altogether! At least, in me I know it is!
Sex can be innocent, pure, and ecstatic, all at the same time! It depends upon the condition of the souls involved. It is not a heinous act that must be purified by prison time; it is not an act of murder! It is in fact quite the opposite of that! Why must we, in our minds, separate our lust from our love? Why not let the two dance together? Why not respect both and thereby purify the deemed lesser material into what is pure and what is gold! If you think something is made of mere coal, then do not simply throw the coal to the side! Take the coal and make it into gold! And better yet— do not have any coal at all! But only filter everything through your filters of gold! And this is how you shall identify holiness! Holiness is what is capable of purifying that which it touches!
Parables of Goodness, Envy and Ego
I think that a lot of the time, people are generous towards those whom they pity; but only find fault in those whom they see as better than themselves. There is a fake kind of goodness; and that is the goodness that is only good towards other people that make the givers feel better about themselves. Would you be good to someone you think is so much better than you are? Or who has so much more than you have? Or is your goodness only reserved for those who make you feel like a god because you give to them? Too often, there are shining, beautiful people, who suffer so much in this world, because there would be so many others willing to snuff out their flames! Goodness of a person is not measured by sympathy or compassion; rather, goodness is measured by empathy. Empathy goes beyond all the physical things you see with your two eyes. It's easy to be good to those you pity; much harder to be good to those whom you envy!
You have been raised with a mindset dictating that compassion and sympathy are the telltale factors of goodness in a man (or woman). We were all raised this way. But compassion and sympathy are qualities that are accompanied by pride, because you are aware that bending down makes you a good person. Your ego is gratified.
Just look at any Facebook account, google account, or Facebook Page! Everyone likes the Dalai Lama! And that's regardless of whether or not they actually understand Buddhism! They're mostly not even Buddhists, have no connection to Asia, and really, probably just like a few quotes they read of his. Why do people want to be associated with the Dalai Lama? That's easy! That is because there is an instant gratification of being seen as a person with generous and kind ideals! It's not about actually living that way from the heart; it's about association with something that makes them look good! Of course, I'm not saying that every single person who likes Dalai Lama is like this, but as someone who was supported early on into her career, by the Dalai Lama's team and crew, I am aware of the fact that he is actually a person. A person who yearns for human connection, who shouldn't be used as a quick ego boost.
The act of yearning to be seen as a good person, is a selfish act that does not come from the heart. Then what kind of goodness comes from the heart, you may ask. And why do I say that goodness is measured by empathy rather than by sympathy and compassion? That is because empathy is able to connect with another person, regardless of outward physical attributes. Empathy is what feels the pain of a person who's rich and powerful and doesn't need your help. Empathy is what feels the heart of another person who is beautiful, kind, happy and loved. Empathy goes beyond the physical stimuli that is responsible for evoking reactions and feelings; and instead, reacts to what is really going on inside of a person! People normally see only what the other people plainly show. But empathy is what sees beyond what is shown, and connects with that.
How easy is it to be good to those who make you look good whilst you are being kind to them? Politicians do that all the time! Beauty Queens do that all the time! But can a politician be kind to his fellow politician who is more popular than he? Can a beauty queen be kind to her fellow contestant who is surely going to win over her? You see— this is how true goodness and character is measured! It is measured by the extent that one has gone out of one's area of self-comfort, in order to connect with another human being! In order to be kind to another human being! You see, kindness is not a clothing that we wear! Kindness, in fact, is a state of the heart, a state of the soul! Can you be kind to a person when you know they are going to be responsible for making you look not-as-good as they are? And because someone is responsible for making you look not-as-great as you would like to be seen, simply by being themselves, does that immediately equate to them being bad people? Or is it you who is the bad person, because you cannot allow yourself to be seen as any lesser than how you want to be seen? Is it actually you who possesses the bigger ego in this case? I have learned many a time over, that it is often those who have lesser, who are the most arrogant and the most proud! Why? Because arrogance and pride is all that they really have to hold onto!
Very often, you will find a very good person wrapped behind a layer of thorns; not wanting to be seen as good! Not wanting to be known as kind! Why? Because they know that it hurts to be good and to be kind! Because people take advantage of those virtues! And the reason why they have been hurt so much in life, is for the very reason that they are kindhearted, they are warmhearted, they are gentle! And yet, do we stop to see these people, to recognise and to validate these people? Hardly! We are too busy validating those who fit the moulds and the cookie cutter image of what it means to be a "good person"!
Should people in this world be punished because they are more beautiful, because they have been loved more, because their house is bigger? I don't think so. This is the same evil that causes poverty and shame and hardship in the world, because the evil that causes that is in itself of that nature; it does not actually matter where and who it is emanating from! When it comes from the rich— it destroys. When it comes from the poor— it destroys. The evil of destruction is of itself within its own nature and it may permeate anyone and any form that it likes.
I admit, I am partial to empaths, I am partial towards the highly sensitive individuals, I am partial to those whom I know can see more and feel more and know more! I have a bias towards those who are like myself, because I know that we feel ourselves in everyone and in everything and I know that we suffer more because of this, we give more because of this, we endure more because of this. And do we have to? No, not really. We could simply stop caring if that's what we wanted to do. Switch it off. It's either all or all. No in-betweens. Why should we suffer more, for anyone? Would anyone else suffer more, for us?
You measure the goodness of another by the other's ability to forgive you; but look at yourself first! Whom have you not forgiven? You measure the goodness of another by the other's willingness to help you; but look at yourself first! How far would you actually go to help another? You tend to measure the goodness of another by what is done unto you; but do you measure your own goodness in the same way? Better yet, why measure the goodness in others, at all? Why not preoccupy yourself with measuring yourself; instead of measuring others? Because the greatest work that is to be done, and that we can only actually really do, is the work upon ourselves! To find the faults in ourselves and to fix those! To find the cracks in ourselves and then to mend those! We are all carpenters, sculptors, masons, builders! But the greatest temple that we need to build, is the temple within our own souls! And we cannot build our own temples, when we are so preoccupied with how other people are building or not building, their own!
Take upon you the eyes of true kindness— which is empathy— and connect with those whom you envy, those who have more than you do, those who make you feel lesser than what you are. Connect with those who are kinder, who are happier, who are gentler. Connect with someone who is more beautiful! Cultivate real goodness, today.
You have been raised with a mindset dictating that compassion and sympathy are the telltale factors of goodness in a man (or woman). We were all raised this way. But compassion and sympathy are qualities that are accompanied by pride, because you are aware that bending down makes you a good person. Your ego is gratified.
Just look at any Facebook account, google account, or Facebook Page! Everyone likes the Dalai Lama! And that's regardless of whether or not they actually understand Buddhism! They're mostly not even Buddhists, have no connection to Asia, and really, probably just like a few quotes they read of his. Why do people want to be associated with the Dalai Lama? That's easy! That is because there is an instant gratification of being seen as a person with generous and kind ideals! It's not about actually living that way from the heart; it's about association with something that makes them look good! Of course, I'm not saying that every single person who likes Dalai Lama is like this, but as someone who was supported early on into her career, by the Dalai Lama's team and crew, I am aware of the fact that he is actually a person. A person who yearns for human connection, who shouldn't be used as a quick ego boost.
The act of yearning to be seen as a good person, is a selfish act that does not come from the heart. Then what kind of goodness comes from the heart, you may ask. And why do I say that goodness is measured by empathy rather than by sympathy and compassion? That is because empathy is able to connect with another person, regardless of outward physical attributes. Empathy is what feels the pain of a person who's rich and powerful and doesn't need your help. Empathy is what feels the heart of another person who is beautiful, kind, happy and loved. Empathy goes beyond the physical stimuli that is responsible for evoking reactions and feelings; and instead, reacts to what is really going on inside of a person! People normally see only what the other people plainly show. But empathy is what sees beyond what is shown, and connects with that.
How easy is it to be good to those who make you look good whilst you are being kind to them? Politicians do that all the time! Beauty Queens do that all the time! But can a politician be kind to his fellow politician who is more popular than he? Can a beauty queen be kind to her fellow contestant who is surely going to win over her? You see— this is how true goodness and character is measured! It is measured by the extent that one has gone out of one's area of self-comfort, in order to connect with another human being! In order to be kind to another human being! You see, kindness is not a clothing that we wear! Kindness, in fact, is a state of the heart, a state of the soul! Can you be kind to a person when you know they are going to be responsible for making you look not-as-good as they are? And because someone is responsible for making you look not-as-great as you would like to be seen, simply by being themselves, does that immediately equate to them being bad people? Or is it you who is the bad person, because you cannot allow yourself to be seen as any lesser than how you want to be seen? Is it actually you who possesses the bigger ego in this case? I have learned many a time over, that it is often those who have lesser, who are the most arrogant and the most proud! Why? Because arrogance and pride is all that they really have to hold onto!
Very often, you will find a very good person wrapped behind a layer of thorns; not wanting to be seen as good! Not wanting to be known as kind! Why? Because they know that it hurts to be good and to be kind! Because people take advantage of those virtues! And the reason why they have been hurt so much in life, is for the very reason that they are kindhearted, they are warmhearted, they are gentle! And yet, do we stop to see these people, to recognise and to validate these people? Hardly! We are too busy validating those who fit the moulds and the cookie cutter image of what it means to be a "good person"!
Should people in this world be punished because they are more beautiful, because they have been loved more, because their house is bigger? I don't think so. This is the same evil that causes poverty and shame and hardship in the world, because the evil that causes that is in itself of that nature; it does not actually matter where and who it is emanating from! When it comes from the rich— it destroys. When it comes from the poor— it destroys. The evil of destruction is of itself within its own nature and it may permeate anyone and any form that it likes.
I admit, I am partial to empaths, I am partial towards the highly sensitive individuals, I am partial to those whom I know can see more and feel more and know more! I have a bias towards those who are like myself, because I know that we feel ourselves in everyone and in everything and I know that we suffer more because of this, we give more because of this, we endure more because of this. And do we have to? No, not really. We could simply stop caring if that's what we wanted to do. Switch it off. It's either all or all. No in-betweens. Why should we suffer more, for anyone? Would anyone else suffer more, for us?
You measure the goodness of another by the other's ability to forgive you; but look at yourself first! Whom have you not forgiven? You measure the goodness of another by the other's willingness to help you; but look at yourself first! How far would you actually go to help another? You tend to measure the goodness of another by what is done unto you; but do you measure your own goodness in the same way? Better yet, why measure the goodness in others, at all? Why not preoccupy yourself with measuring yourself; instead of measuring others? Because the greatest work that is to be done, and that we can only actually really do, is the work upon ourselves! To find the faults in ourselves and to fix those! To find the cracks in ourselves and then to mend those! We are all carpenters, sculptors, masons, builders! But the greatest temple that we need to build, is the temple within our own souls! And we cannot build our own temples, when we are so preoccupied with how other people are building or not building, their own!
Take upon you the eyes of true kindness— which is empathy— and connect with those whom you envy, those who have more than you do, those who make you feel lesser than what you are. Connect with those who are kinder, who are happier, who are gentler. Connect with someone who is more beautiful! Cultivate real goodness, today.
June 16, 2015
An Explanation Of What Is Going On
Wherever you look, today, on social media and on t.v. and in articles on various blogs and so on and so forth— you are bound to run into terms such as "spiritual ascension, spiritual awakening, New Age, New Dawn, Enlightenment, The Secret," and etc. etc. etc. You will hear the constant message that in our era today, we are "waking up" to "ascend" in "spirit". But what does this all mean? What does this all really mean?
Throughout the eras, there were always seen periods of theosophical breakthroughs. And back then, they were literally burned to death for their "heresies", accused of being "witches" and "heretics", many theosophists and mystics were burned to ashes at the stake! There are many mystics who came before us, who gave up their lives to save manuscripts and teachings, so that they could survive and be handed down to us, today!
What are theosophists? What is theosophia? It is the lover and the love of divine wisdom. What are mystics? Mystics are people who break through dogmatic status quos, in order to unveil the inner light that would otherwise be so controlled and contained by external powers. Mystics are game-changers, status-quo changers, earth-shatterers and Heaven-callers. Keepers of truth, possessors of divine sight, people who break through conformities and dogmatic teachings that others fall so blindly under.
The "New Age" is not "new", at all! There's nothing new about it! It is all old! It is the roots of an old tree that become covered in mountains of ash and dirt and rock throughout the ages, and every now and then, a strong wind blows all of those layers away, exposing the ancient roots. Who are the alchemists, the hermeticists? Simply those who are attached to those very same roots! It is not "new"; it is in fact the oldest of things! It is the blindness of everyone else that is infantile and that is "new"! It is the hermeticist, the mystic, the alchemist, the theosophist, who scrapes off that new mud from the eyes of many, reminding them of the original roots!
Blavatsky, Boehme, Saint-Martin, Saint-Germain, Clymer, Paracelsus, Pythagoras, Russell, Yeats— all mystics! All theosophists! All lived a long, long time ago! Clinging to the original roots of life! In order to unveil them to the rest of the world!
It is the blindness and the ignorance of the soul and of the spirit and of the mind, that is new! The Heavens existed before the Earth occurred down below! What is material and what is in front of our eyes, is only a development of what is already there, unseen! When we witness an "ascension" of mankind, we are not actually witnessing something infantile! It is only infantile and brand new, to those who have not known the hidden things!
Throughout the eras, there were always seen periods of theosophical breakthroughs. And back then, they were literally burned to death for their "heresies", accused of being "witches" and "heretics", many theosophists and mystics were burned to ashes at the stake! There are many mystics who came before us, who gave up their lives to save manuscripts and teachings, so that they could survive and be handed down to us, today!
What are theosophists? What is theosophia? It is the lover and the love of divine wisdom. What are mystics? Mystics are people who break through dogmatic status quos, in order to unveil the inner light that would otherwise be so controlled and contained by external powers. Mystics are game-changers, status-quo changers, earth-shatterers and Heaven-callers. Keepers of truth, possessors of divine sight, people who break through conformities and dogmatic teachings that others fall so blindly under.
The "New Age" is not "new", at all! There's nothing new about it! It is all old! It is the roots of an old tree that become covered in mountains of ash and dirt and rock throughout the ages, and every now and then, a strong wind blows all of those layers away, exposing the ancient roots. Who are the alchemists, the hermeticists? Simply those who are attached to those very same roots! It is not "new"; it is in fact the oldest of things! It is the blindness of everyone else that is infantile and that is "new"! It is the hermeticist, the mystic, the alchemist, the theosophist, who scrapes off that new mud from the eyes of many, reminding them of the original roots!
Blavatsky, Boehme, Saint-Martin, Saint-Germain, Clymer, Paracelsus, Pythagoras, Russell, Yeats— all mystics! All theosophists! All lived a long, long time ago! Clinging to the original roots of life! In order to unveil them to the rest of the world!
It is the blindness and the ignorance of the soul and of the spirit and of the mind, that is new! The Heavens existed before the Earth occurred down below! What is material and what is in front of our eyes, is only a development of what is already there, unseen! When we witness an "ascension" of mankind, we are not actually witnessing something infantile! It is only infantile and brand new, to those who have not known the hidden things!
June 7, 2015
Maybe You're Not Tough; But You're Beautiful!
I recently had a very enlightening and revealing realisation about myself, which was a very humbling thing to realise. And I mean "humbling" in the sense that I truly felt humbled by this realisation; I don't mean that I actually feel proud. I know how lots of people use humbled to mean that they feel proud. I just really mean humbled. I mean that I realised how human I actually am.
So, it dawned upon me how really impressionable I am. I have always liked to see myself as an extremely tough individual. When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a soldier. I wanted to be a princess, too, but princesses actually lead soldiers into battle (yes, I'm thinking of that kind of princess— the real kind). I always took pride in the thought that I was impenetrable and hardened to the core! But after all, it was just a thought! I'm still the person who can't scream at anyone, I'm still the person who speaks in whispers! I'm still the gentle one!
I came to see this fact about myself, that the things I see, hear, feel— leave impressions upon me as if I am sand on the seashore and all the people walking on the seashore are leaving their footprints all over me! When I hear a story about a wayward lover— I act like I don't care— but that's just because I care so much, that it pains me to think about the other person's pain. When I hear about things that happen in the world, and in other people's lives, or when I see the things that have happened to other people in their lives, or even when I recount my own experiences in life— all of these things leave their impressions upon me, and I feel frightened in a world where people are always getting hurt, all the time! But then it works both ways! I'm also very impressionable in the sense that another person's joy can be my own joy, another person's beautiful story can become my own dream, the birds that sing in the morning fill me with happiness, the way that the sun shines tells me stories, the way that a light bulb glows in a certain frequency is enough to make my soul swell with comfort!
I suppose I am just a hypersensitive being. And this is humbling to realise, when you previously believed that you were tough and hardened! You're not really hardened; you're just covering up the soft parts, because they're really, really soft! It's humbling to realise that other people's stories can scare you, that other people's experiences can cause you to fear things in your own life! We think that our wings bring us up so high! Only to find out that even how high we fly— we carry something like a leaf or an acorn or a shell in our talons! Something that makes us still feel the wind through the trees; still feel what it's like to freefall through the branches; or still hear the ocean in a single shell!
You just need affection, and kindness and gentleness— lots of it! You just need a blanket, a lot of warmness, a lot of assurance! You need all those things you never thought you needed, because you thought you were tough and could do anything on your own! But you need those things, you really do. And guess what? You actually need it probably a lot more than other people do! Because other people don't really feel or notice the changes in a lightbulb's frequencies or hear the whole sky sing when one bird does!
You don't need camoflage, you don't need a gun, you don't need weapons! You need a hug, you need comfort, you need a blanket, you need a kind voice. Kind eyes. You are soft, and you need to know it. Maybe you're not tough; but you're beautiful!
xoxo,
C. Bells
So, it dawned upon me how really impressionable I am. I have always liked to see myself as an extremely tough individual. When I was a kid, I always wanted to be a soldier. I wanted to be a princess, too, but princesses actually lead soldiers into battle (yes, I'm thinking of that kind of princess— the real kind). I always took pride in the thought that I was impenetrable and hardened to the core! But after all, it was just a thought! I'm still the person who can't scream at anyone, I'm still the person who speaks in whispers! I'm still the gentle one!
I came to see this fact about myself, that the things I see, hear, feel— leave impressions upon me as if I am sand on the seashore and all the people walking on the seashore are leaving their footprints all over me! When I hear a story about a wayward lover— I act like I don't care— but that's just because I care so much, that it pains me to think about the other person's pain. When I hear about things that happen in the world, and in other people's lives, or when I see the things that have happened to other people in their lives, or even when I recount my own experiences in life— all of these things leave their impressions upon me, and I feel frightened in a world where people are always getting hurt, all the time! But then it works both ways! I'm also very impressionable in the sense that another person's joy can be my own joy, another person's beautiful story can become my own dream, the birds that sing in the morning fill me with happiness, the way that the sun shines tells me stories, the way that a light bulb glows in a certain frequency is enough to make my soul swell with comfort!
I suppose I am just a hypersensitive being. And this is humbling to realise, when you previously believed that you were tough and hardened! You're not really hardened; you're just covering up the soft parts, because they're really, really soft! It's humbling to realise that other people's stories can scare you, that other people's experiences can cause you to fear things in your own life! We think that our wings bring us up so high! Only to find out that even how high we fly— we carry something like a leaf or an acorn or a shell in our talons! Something that makes us still feel the wind through the trees; still feel what it's like to freefall through the branches; or still hear the ocean in a single shell!
You just need affection, and kindness and gentleness— lots of it! You just need a blanket, a lot of warmness, a lot of assurance! You need all those things you never thought you needed, because you thought you were tough and could do anything on your own! But you need those things, you really do. And guess what? You actually need it probably a lot more than other people do! Because other people don't really feel or notice the changes in a lightbulb's frequencies or hear the whole sky sing when one bird does!
You don't need camoflage, you don't need a gun, you don't need weapons! You need a hug, you need comfort, you need a blanket, you need a kind voice. Kind eyes. You are soft, and you need to know it. Maybe you're not tough; but you're beautiful!
xoxo,
C. Bells
The Breaking And The Making
I've been thinking about how, a few year ago, I got on a plane, all alone, without an agenda, without an itinerary, and scurried around Europe for a month! Then I did it again a year later! It was incredibly stupid of me, and incredibly wonderful, at the same time. I couldn't tell my mother, because if I did, she would have stood at the door and literally not let me exit! So she only found out when I was already two weeks into my journey— both times! And yes, she cried non-stop when she found out, and began calling every hour!
I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. I mean, it was completely reckless but it was also 100% exhilarating and life-changing. I was scared down to my toenails, every single day! I was terrified! I didn't know anybody (well, the second time, I did know some people during some parts of my journey, and I did stay with a cousin in London on the last leg of it), I didn't know the languages, and nobody spoke English; so I actually learned the languages while I was there, out of desperation— totally forgot them later on though— I had no idea what I would do on a day-to-day basis, because I didn't have an itinerary... I was being stupid and I was being reckless, but boy was I happy! I had flung myself out into the world and each time at the airports, I was literally shaking in my shoes walking through the airports! I had never even traveled alone before!
I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. I'm thinking about, how my life would be so different right now, if I hadn't done that; I'm thinking about how my mind would be so different now, my opinions, my outlooks! I changed my life, through forcing plane tickets down my throat! I was like, "I need a change in my life" and I forced plane tickets down my throat! Train tickets and bus tickets, too! I'd wake up in my hotel room not remembering that I had flown out into the world, half down to my wit's end! And then I'd fall asleep at night with eyes wide open, almost! I would be like, "Oh dear God, what's going to happen to me, tomorrow?"
I was at a point in my life where I needed to do what I did. For myself. But I can't help but wonder about how different I would be right now, if I didn't do what I did. I'd be ignorant of so many things (sometimes, ignorance really is bliss), I'd be less hurt and less frightened... but I'd also be less resilient and less brave! I wouldn't be able to write the many things that I write today, because I would have seen less and experienced less... I wouldn't have been able to write my now very famous quote that's about throwing yourself out into the open! Because that's what it was about! I wrote it on the airplane about ready to throw up from airplane anxiety!
While I sat in Venus' Temple in Portovenere, Cinque Terre, I became Pagan. I sat there, and I felt like it was home. I was like, "I'm home now." And that's when I started believing in many gods and goddesses! Because I felt that connection in the Temple of Venus. That's a HUGE change to have, in life! And it wouldn't have happened had I not gone on that trip! It didn't matter to me that the temple had already been remade into a Christian Church; I connected with the original stone of it! And when I went to Siena, I felt like I connected with a past life! I felt like I was in my childhood city, walking my childhood streets— I found closure! I found closure in a place I'd never been to before! How is that even possible! But I left Siena feeling whole on the inside! Like I'd found something I'd been looking for! And I hadn't even made any friends there!
I met people... maybe too many of them! Some I'm still friends with until now, some I was only friends with, for a day! I learnt what it felt like to really need companionship in one day, and then to have to let go of that at the end of the day because the other people were going another way and I taking a different path! I was homesick, but at the same time, I forgot about home! I found home in Rome, while watching a huge, large, big Italian family (three or four generations of family) having a party on the rooftop of Hotel Diana Rooftop Garden, where I was sitting and having dinner at, alone. I watched them, I listened to their laughter, I soaked up something that filled a hole in my heart! I realised, that one day, I wanted to fill that hole in my heart permanently— I wanted to one day belong to a huge, large, big family, too! And have parties on rooftop gardens with grandfathers and toddlers and babies! I had to travel a million miles, just to fill a hole in my heart!
I still refer to those trips as the best days of my life, thus far. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if they really were the best days, because, had I not gone, I would have never known! But I just feel the goosebumps all over again, when I think of walking the Roman streets— those cobblestones! I feel the air over my skin again... the Roman Summer heat... it's like a dream, like your best dream that you've ever had, except you have the pictures to prove that it really happened!
I learned some of the most precious lessons of my life thus far, while on my travels. Some that made me, some that broke me in ways... I wonder if the breaking was worth the making... but something tells me it was.
xoxo
C. Bells
I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. I mean, it was completely reckless but it was also 100% exhilarating and life-changing. I was scared down to my toenails, every single day! I was terrified! I didn't know anybody (well, the second time, I did know some people during some parts of my journey, and I did stay with a cousin in London on the last leg of it), I didn't know the languages, and nobody spoke English; so I actually learned the languages while I was there, out of desperation— totally forgot them later on though— I had no idea what I would do on a day-to-day basis, because I didn't have an itinerary... I was being stupid and I was being reckless, but boy was I happy! I had flung myself out into the world and each time at the airports, I was literally shaking in my shoes walking through the airports! I had never even traveled alone before!
I'm wondering if it was the right thing to do. I'm thinking about, how my life would be so different right now, if I hadn't done that; I'm thinking about how my mind would be so different now, my opinions, my outlooks! I changed my life, through forcing plane tickets down my throat! I was like, "I need a change in my life" and I forced plane tickets down my throat! Train tickets and bus tickets, too! I'd wake up in my hotel room not remembering that I had flown out into the world, half down to my wit's end! And then I'd fall asleep at night with eyes wide open, almost! I would be like, "Oh dear God, what's going to happen to me, tomorrow?"
I was at a point in my life where I needed to do what I did. For myself. But I can't help but wonder about how different I would be right now, if I didn't do what I did. I'd be ignorant of so many things (sometimes, ignorance really is bliss), I'd be less hurt and less frightened... but I'd also be less resilient and less brave! I wouldn't be able to write the many things that I write today, because I would have seen less and experienced less... I wouldn't have been able to write my now very famous quote that's about throwing yourself out into the open! Because that's what it was about! I wrote it on the airplane about ready to throw up from airplane anxiety!
While I sat in Venus' Temple in Portovenere, Cinque Terre, I became Pagan. I sat there, and I felt like it was home. I was like, "I'm home now." And that's when I started believing in many gods and goddesses! Because I felt that connection in the Temple of Venus. That's a HUGE change to have, in life! And it wouldn't have happened had I not gone on that trip! It didn't matter to me that the temple had already been remade into a Christian Church; I connected with the original stone of it! And when I went to Siena, I felt like I connected with a past life! I felt like I was in my childhood city, walking my childhood streets— I found closure! I found closure in a place I'd never been to before! How is that even possible! But I left Siena feeling whole on the inside! Like I'd found something I'd been looking for! And I hadn't even made any friends there!
I met people... maybe too many of them! Some I'm still friends with until now, some I was only friends with, for a day! I learnt what it felt like to really need companionship in one day, and then to have to let go of that at the end of the day because the other people were going another way and I taking a different path! I was homesick, but at the same time, I forgot about home! I found home in Rome, while watching a huge, large, big Italian family (three or four generations of family) having a party on the rooftop of Hotel Diana Rooftop Garden, where I was sitting and having dinner at, alone. I watched them, I listened to their laughter, I soaked up something that filled a hole in my heart! I realised, that one day, I wanted to fill that hole in my heart permanently— I wanted to one day belong to a huge, large, big family, too! And have parties on rooftop gardens with grandfathers and toddlers and babies! I had to travel a million miles, just to fill a hole in my heart!
I still refer to those trips as the best days of my life, thus far. But at the same time, I can't help but wonder if they really were the best days, because, had I not gone, I would have never known! But I just feel the goosebumps all over again, when I think of walking the Roman streets— those cobblestones! I feel the air over my skin again... the Roman Summer heat... it's like a dream, like your best dream that you've ever had, except you have the pictures to prove that it really happened!
I learned some of the most precious lessons of my life thus far, while on my travels. Some that made me, some that broke me in ways... I wonder if the breaking was worth the making... but something tells me it was.
xoxo
C. Bells
May 30, 2015
I Challenge You To See The Truth
I am afraid of those who are too simple on the outside; for their vanities they wear upon their hearts. Better to meet a person who wears their vanities out in the open where you can see them! Than one who hides them in their hearts! For it is the stuff of the heart that is hidden; while the stuff on the outside is not. And we are all vain; the difference is where we put it! I would rather meet a person vain on the outside; while possessing the simplest of hearts.
Who was Christ on this Earth, but a man who dined with harlots and thieves? Who was Christ on this Earth, but a man who allowed a prostitute to bathe his feet in perfumes? Who was Christ on this Earth, but He who said, "It is the stuff coming out of a man that defiles him; not the stuff going into him that ruins his heart."
And yet what has the vain hearted man turned this Christ into? He has turned this same Christ into a symbol of all hypocrisy and perfectionism! The vain hearted man has turned this same Christ into a symbol of all that cannot be attained! A symbol of struggle against hell! He who swallowed hell whole; has been turned into a symbol of war against sin. There is no war against sin; all sin was made void, because it is not what is on the outside that is seen by God; but it is what is on the inside that God sees! And even this simple principle, has been catapulted into that which it does not even mean! Because they say what is on the outside does not matter; they then take their vanities and hide them, in an attempt to look like they do not even care! Where are their vanities hidden now? Their vanities are inside their hearts! Who did Christ sit and dine with? With those dressed in white robes; or with those whores dripping in gold earrings and pearls? Who did Christ sit with? With the Priests clad in white robes; or did he sit with the tax collectors? Christ sat with all manner of those who wore their vanities upon their own skin; but undoubtedly, had childlike hearts.
I cannot be fooled by those who speak of Christ but did not know Him. Who does not know Christ? Is it the holy Priest or is it the harlot who sat with him for his meals? Who does not know Christ? Is it the untainted Priest, the Pharisee; or is it the thief who hung beside him at the cross? You all claim to know Christ, and to know what he is all about! And yet He would not sit with you if He were here, for your vanities, I tell you, your vanities you hide in your hearts!
Who was Christ on this Earth, but a man who dined with harlots and thieves? Who was Christ on this Earth, but a man who allowed a prostitute to bathe his feet in perfumes? Who was Christ on this Earth, but He who said, "It is the stuff coming out of a man that defiles him; not the stuff going into him that ruins his heart."
And yet what has the vain hearted man turned this Christ into? He has turned this same Christ into a symbol of all hypocrisy and perfectionism! The vain hearted man has turned this same Christ into a symbol of all that cannot be attained! A symbol of struggle against hell! He who swallowed hell whole; has been turned into a symbol of war against sin. There is no war against sin; all sin was made void, because it is not what is on the outside that is seen by God; but it is what is on the inside that God sees! And even this simple principle, has been catapulted into that which it does not even mean! Because they say what is on the outside does not matter; they then take their vanities and hide them, in an attempt to look like they do not even care! Where are their vanities hidden now? Their vanities are inside their hearts! Who did Christ sit and dine with? With those dressed in white robes; or with those whores dripping in gold earrings and pearls? Who did Christ sit with? With the Priests clad in white robes; or did he sit with the tax collectors? Christ sat with all manner of those who wore their vanities upon their own skin; but undoubtedly, had childlike hearts.
I cannot be fooled by those who speak of Christ but did not know Him. Who does not know Christ? Is it the holy Priest or is it the harlot who sat with him for his meals? Who does not know Christ? Is it the untainted Priest, the Pharisee; or is it the thief who hung beside him at the cross? You all claim to know Christ, and to know what he is all about! And yet He would not sit with you if He were here, for your vanities, I tell you, your vanities you hide in your hearts!
May 22, 2015
They Asked Me How To Change The World
I was asked, "How can we change the world?" And I answered, "You will never be able to change the world by projecting ideal images to aspire for. The only way to change the world is to penetrate the grassroots, to penetrate at the groundbreaking level— to be a mason— to dig into the core where all the tar and lumpy mud is located and to work with that shit until you bring out something beautiful. We change the world by dressing wounds, by listening to forgotten voices of the lost, by getting our hands dirty. Nobody is going to be able to change the world by painting a lovely picture. You have to know how to make paint. Then teach the people how to use a paintbrush. Then teach the people how to make strokes, how to wash the paintbrush, and how to mount their own paintings onto the wall. Because the alchemy of the world, of humanity as a whole, is really just the collective alchemy of every individual. Take what is darkness and transmutate it into a shining thing. Changing the world is never about the changer; it is about the world."
All people want to belong to some sort of hierarchy. Allow me to explain. The rich want to be the richest; the poor want to be the smartest; those who are both rich and smart want to be the better persons; the better persons want to go to heaven; those who are in heaven will look down upon those who are in hell... there is always some kind of hierarchy desired by everyone; even by those who claim the opposite of this. So how do you find true divinity? Divinity is found in those who reach down low; because it is those who are above who must reach down low, while it is those who are below who must constantly reach for what is above! And this is divinity. What is divine, is what will have a curiosity in what is below. There is no fear of becoming "tainted"; because what is lesser can never really taint what is greater. it is what is greater that is able to transform what is lesser. The alchemist must first find the mud, pick it up, before she is able to transform it into diamond. She must first reach into the swamp, in order to pull out roses.
All people want to belong to some sort of hierarchy. Allow me to explain. The rich want to be the richest; the poor want to be the smartest; those who are both rich and smart want to be the better persons; the better persons want to go to heaven; those who are in heaven will look down upon those who are in hell... there is always some kind of hierarchy desired by everyone; even by those who claim the opposite of this. So how do you find true divinity? Divinity is found in those who reach down low; because it is those who are above who must reach down low, while it is those who are below who must constantly reach for what is above! And this is divinity. What is divine, is what will have a curiosity in what is below. There is no fear of becoming "tainted"; because what is lesser can never really taint what is greater. it is what is greater that is able to transform what is lesser. The alchemist must first find the mud, pick it up, before she is able to transform it into diamond. She must first reach into the swamp, in order to pull out roses.
