C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 33

I was talking to a friend last night and the topic led me to discuss with him why I appreciate the movie Divergent so much.

I appreciate many movies; but Divergent was different. I was amongst the first millions of people in the world to watch it on its first day in cinemas and I came out of that movie house a more assured, confident person! Let me tell you about that.

Random photo of tattoo design from Divergent movie.
Tattoo is not my own. :-)I think that we grow up and deal with ourselves and with others whilst not realizing that people are created with different traits and that those characteristics are there for a definite purpose. We don't realize this about ourselves and so we often look to others and try to emulate them, or we look at others and we judge them for being so and so way, for thinking such and such things or for having this and that behaviour. We fail to realize that people belong to different "orders." In the movie Divergent, this was made very clear. Everyone belongs somewhere and there is an equal amount of "belongingness" because people are internally crafted for a purpose; for different purposes! But then the storyline delves even deeper into this and shows that ultimately, we have a choice that we need to make. We determine where we belong by making that choice and it's nothing that we need to explain to others. It just means that we have heard our inner calling.

Then, of course, there are the Divergents. The people who exhibit more signs of "belongingness" than just one. All— or nearly all— traits are developed and apparent. Different times and circumstances call unto different names within us. A Divergent can be incredibly selfless but then again can protect oneself and one's loved ones to the death. He or she can also exhibit immense kindness and understanding while at other times producing impressive amounts of intelligence in scientific fields and the like. A Divergent can be ruthless and fearless, while searching and expounding upon the truth of matters. It all depends upon what the situation calls unto, what inner name is being called upon!

I was always so different, that I felt the constant need to explain these differences, or just to explain myself in general, to other people. And people admittedly never understood me, anyway! So I created this circular motion of going round and round but still never feeling understood. Now, though, I see all the things that I do for humanity, as well as for myself and my loved ones, the actions I take and the subjects that I learn— I can see and accept now, that everything inside me is inside me for a reason and I need not try to conform to anything. I'm an adult now, I am no longer in the "formative years" of development wherein I need to be steered into a certain direction. It's time that I accept all the facets of me that are equally strong, equally developed and equally powerful. There's no need to be just one way at all times.

But even being just one way at all times should be a significant realization for many! This means that you are who you are for a purpose! There is a purpose! And you can always choose to follow the inner voice calling, choose another path; but the end goal is to fulfill your destiny and that is what needs to be remembered!

The storyline of the movie seems to be conveying that a Divergent's life will never be easy because the Divergent is constantly breaking through the system simply by existing. What does this mean? I think it can be quite obvious in daily life and daily relationships. When you do not react in expected ways to expected stimuli (forms of manipulation)— that is breaking through the system! When you see beyond and through what has been set up for you to see— that is a breakthrough! And things cannot possibly be easy when you are bending the water and refusing to be bent by it! Not easy— but this is your destiny! And it is not a form of rebellion; it is simply because this is how you are wired. You cannot possibly conform; or maybe you have tried to but you just can't swallow it for too long. "So I am really expected to react in this way to that action? But why should I when I don't feel the need to? When this other way is better for me?" Of course, this has nothing to do with a lack of manners and social awareness. Respect for other people, their property and mannerly conduct in general is a basic ingredient for goodwill and peace.

I know it might sound childish to say that a movie has made me understand and accept myself fully; but it is the truth. And who knows? Perhaps the author of the novels had a deeper plot, all along! What do you think?

Timelapse


I was watching
A timelapse video of the sky
Above a flowing river
The colors changed
Like crazy
The grass blew
In the winds
Of night and day
The sun set
And rose
Over and over again
Like crazy
The river swam
Over the rocks
And around them
Small waves
Like mermaids
The colors and the winds
So crazy, so timelapse
I closed my eyes
Because I’m a timelapse too
Just like that video
Sensations run
Over my skin, my spirit
I’m breathless
You could find an
Ocean within me
And a battalion on a field
You’ll find every sky
That exists
Running, catching up
Flowers stumbling over
Roots
Winds from everywhere
It’s all inside me
I closed my eyes to feel it
Everything moving
Always moving
I think I can feel
My own blood in my veins
It’s moving
Look into my eyes
You’ll see the sun rise
And set
A hundred times in a minute


Copyright © 2014 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Anchor

She was like a birdWith perfect wingspanThat hadA small, golden anchor Tied to its legLightly, it would flyBut in gold It was always anchored

Copyright © 2014 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Proud

She was most proud Of herselfOf the way howShe was always readyTo take everythingWith a grain of salt
And she was also proudAbout herIncredible lightnessOf being

Copyright © 2014 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Shouldn’t Be, Shouldn’t Be

I’m always too brave, too braveMore brave than I Ever should be
My soul is naked, nakedThe same thing asWearing no clothes
But I’m the only oneWho’s nakedEveryone else is clothed
I shouldn’t be, I shouldn’t beI should be clothedAnd not brave
At least not too brave

Copyright © 2014 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

The more ancient cultures of the East are always capable of unearthing deep spiritualities. Mainstream media is always talking about "an awakening" and how people are dramatically wakening to their spiritual senses, these days, but what the mainstream is referring to, is the Western, mostly English-speaking cultures. The East has been "awake" since about five thousand years ago.

It's easy to make in instant and genuine, deep connection with people from the Middle East and India. At least, it is very easy for me. Some of the most instant and most "connected" conversations I have had, have been with people from the Middle East, India, but also the continent of Africa. These people recognize a spark of any kind and are always willing to go the extra mile in order to nurture that spark. Thankfully, I am always "a spark" in the eyes of such people and have been fortunate enough to have friendships that have gone "the extra mile" for me/ with me!

I could say similar about South American cultures; except there is a difference in that South American cultures foster a more laid-back "come what may" attitude, so a friend today could be gone tomorrow; unlike the cultures I have mentioned and given example of, above. In a number of non-English-speaking European cultures, similar can also be said. It seems like the English-speaking cultures have been, for centuries, cultivating a shallow spirituality. I wonder if it has anything to do with the language which is equally shallow?

I will always be told by an Indian that I am "ethereal and sensual" or by an African that I am "the light" or by an Italian that I am "sympatico" or by a Frenchman that I am "sympathique" or by a Greek that I am "Greek." :-) While people from the Middle East will say, like what the Indians say, that I am "ethereal." What I notice about these descriptions that they have of me, is that they all have a connection to the spirit. There is  a slice of the spiritual essence that is always seen. Even sensual is spiritual. When you see someone and call them sensual within the few first minutes of meeting them, only because of the aura they are giving off— that is a look into the aura— it's not something that's easily come by.

I wonder why it is the most spiritual of people who have received the greatest amount of persecution on Earth...

Right at this moment, as we speak, Europe is dying. The white European race is a dying race— everybody is getting old and nobody new is being born. And everyone who is young is running around in other countries, not really doing anything productive for their own nations.

Why?

Well, there's something to be said about a whole continent of people who favour pleasure over long-term happiness. It creates a shortage in all things that build up a nation's foundation. A shortage in babies being born, a shortage in family ties, a shortage in education and a shortage in marriage. All the things that are fundamental to the building up of any nation— all these building blocks— are what have been, over the past decades and maybe even centuries— rotting. As we speak this very moment, Asians are taking over Europe. Middle Easterners are taking over Europe. While Caucasian Europeans are too busy living their lives on an emotional up-and-down roller coaster consisting of the questions, "Is this what I feel like doing?" Other races and other nationalities are migrating onto European soil and becoming the backbone of the EU's economy. One day soon, Europe won't even look like what we have always known to be Europe, anymore!

Why?

Because, while European culture has been busy building their societies on a foundation of pleasure over long-term happiness; elsewhere children are being raised with tradition, values, morality, drive and dedication. Future wielders of the nation's swords are being developed and formed. Hard work, dedication and commitment are being wrought in the minds of the young. They're not doing that in Europe. In Europe, people are too busy trying to figure out what it is they "feel" like doing, at the moment. How many people are there in Europe right now? And how many of those people are from different nations? Europe isn't very big, never was. But now? Now I think the entire face of Europe is going under a massive facial reconstruction! And I think the same can be said about most "white" nations. People live on some kind of emotional compass where they gauge everything they do and all the goals they set, based upon what they feel their "higher calling" is. Instead of creating blueprints and long-term goals and plans; people are sort of just floating around like shits on top of the ocean waves! Meanwhile, Asians and Middle-Easterners are striving for a quality education, striving to provide for their loved ones, striving to make a mark of honor that they can leave for the world, a legacy that they can be proud of! And who's running these "white" nations now? Natives (white natives) of these nations are not running the nations anymore! They're just the superficial surface of these countries by now! The people who are the real backbones of these nations— are the immigrants!

Why?

Well, because wherever instant pleasure is valued above long-term happiness, then it only naturally follows that everything in life becomes instant and nothing becomes long-term. What is instant is also instantly gone. Meanwhile, in these Asian and Middle-Eastern nations, lives are built on tradition, values system, dedication and character! Of course, the stronger the building-blocks, the stronger the nation and the people as a whole! Children are taught not to gauge everything based upon fleeting emotions and what they feel.

Furthermore, and to wrap up this discussion, I also feel like this whole "age of enlightenment" has something to do with this. You can go anywhere on Facebook and you'll find pages that basically, flood people's newsfeeds daily with messages that are telling them to quit their jobs and become poets and painters! To "release their spirits" into what they "truly want" to do!  This is the ultimate fairy-tale. When youngsters email me, asking me how they can have a career in writing just like me, I don't tell them to follow their passions! I tell them to go to University and get a degree in something they can become useful at! I tell them to become public health workers and veterinarians! I tell them to become paramedics and marine biologists! I tell them that they can write all they want on the side but that writing won't get them places unless they sell a half a million or a million copies! Passions are not meant to be followed! Passions are meant to follow you!

As you can see, I continue to debunk our current social anomalies.

         First of all, men are born into this world just like we women are. And as children, men see us women as people. Then around the age of pre-teens they begin to see women as things to put their penises into, while having this mindset fostered by a gross amount of homophobia (fathers, being so afraid their sons will turn gay, shove pornography into their sons' faces and take them to prostitutes for the sake of their "manliness.") And it is around that time that men begin to see women as objects that define their manliness. At a very fresh age, women become maligned in the eyes of boys as the image of us begins to morph in their minds. We become something that defines their manliness. We, to them, are not people who are capable of thinking and feeling. We are things, we have become things, to them. Things that are supposed to define their person. Of course, we don't really define their manliness in any way and the number of us women that they fuck does not determine how much of a man they are, so no matter how much they fill their lives with more and more women, they still end up seeing us as worthless, only because they don't really find that definition in us, they don't find that fulfillment, because we're not the ones who can ever give that to them!
         Manhood is defined by the ability to nurture and to protect, by the capability to provide and to sustain. And what has feminism done for manhood and femininity, these days? Feminism, try as it might, seeks to stop the phenomenon which I have explained above, but, since it lacks insight into what is really going on, it fails to do what it sets out to do, and in fact, has even made matters worse between men and women.         What is the truth? The truth is that every man has come from inside the womb of a woman and every child that a man brings into this world is going to come from inside the womb of a woman and is most probably going to be raised by that woman. Women are people capable of thinking and feeling. We are not things that are created for the insertion of penises.         And what has the porn industry done for the relationship between men and women? Nothing good. Men watch porn stars and think that all women do in fact enjoy being nothing but things with vaginas.          So where is the truth for a solution? The solution is to eradicate homophobia. First of all, homosexuals cannot avoid being homosexual just by having sex with many women! Homosexuals are born homosexual and it has nothing to do with how early or how many vaginas that they "taste." Furthermore, there needs to be a change in how the world defines the tasks of a man in this world and that will not be helped by feminism if feminism keeps on pushing the right for women to be men. Women are not men; women are women and women should be treated as women and as a matter of fact, many women, like myself, enjoy chivalry and gallantry. We do in fact enjoy and appreciate being treated as the feminine sex and being treated gently and with affection. And that is okay. Because we do in fact have feelings and brains which are not masculine, but which are feminine!          Oh how I wish this could all change, and very soon. But oh how unlikely that is!

         There are so many things that I see, so many mainstream ways of thinking and belief systems infiltrating society today, that I believe are wrong and are misleading people. And how do these concepts come about and how are they propagated? It's funny because when you take a deeper look at it, you'll see that usually somebody just wrote a book and suddenly millions of people are thrust into a whole new system of beliefs. I wish to not mislead people in such a way. We've seen so many ideologies come and go over the decades. I'd like to discuss a few key points which I think need to be brought to light.
          First of all, something that bothers me is the lack of regret for anything. It seems like there has been a long-standing propagated belief teaching people that whatever you do in life— you need not regret anything. Everything, according to this ideology, happens for a reason and has made you who you are today, therefore, you need not regret anything that you've ever done. This is extremely dangerous. When you look into studies, you'll find that there are actual documented murder cases carried out by people who go around murdering their friends without regret. There is a documented case of an eleven-year-old girl who sliced her best friend's throat, and watched her bleed to death in the woods, after which time she came home and wrote in her diary: "Dear diary, oh my god I just killed someone, it was scary at first but once you get over the initial shock that says oh my god I'm killing someone, then it starts feeling really good. I sliced her throat with a knife. Well, now time to go to Sunday School! LOL!" Cases like these are documented amongst those doing research into sociopathy and psychosis. And I read this particular case in a certain study whilst looking into the conditions, myself. The key, the main core of a sociopath is in fact the total absence of regret and guilt. I am therefore left dumbfounded by the realization that every single day, there are a flood of "no regrets" messages being delivered to the general populace. The truth is that, there are a great deal of things that you are going to do in life which you should feel a massive amount of regret for. That doesn't mean you should get stuck in it forever; it just means that you, as a human being, need to know when to regret your actions when those actions have caused another human or an animal any kind of harm or hurt! And even when we get past this initial example that may seem rather extreme; we should still be able to see that life is not to be lived by being stupid about everything! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't regret anything, so what's next? You go out and get drunk and drive and hit another car and involuntarily murder a whole family of people (God forbid this ever happen to you or to anyone you know), but it's these kinds of misfortunes that spring forth from having an attitude of YOLO— not regretting anything! In fact, these days you are going to be shunned if you want to live your life in a way that is not exactly throwing yourself all over the place and making mistakes left and right!
         Another thing I would like to discuss, is the belief system that says no other person can change you or that you cannot change any other person. It sounds right; but it's not the truth! People can in fact cause change to take place in other people. People can have such an enormous effect on other people's lives— whether that be negative or positive. In fact, other people even murder other people, which means that people can have such an effect on others— enough to take the lives of others! If someone can take the life of another— this means that people do in fact affect the lives of other people. And this is a cause for carefulness. You don't want to throw yourself all around and all over the place! Because those things that you do and those people that you let into your life are going to leave their marks on you and what kinds of fingerprints do you want to be left on your life? The marks that are left on you and the things that you become, are often the remnants of the people that you allowed to take a foothold in your life! We do affect our fellow man. And that is why we need to make the right choices, choices that will be enriching for our souls and our lives! We also need to make the right choices about how we affect our fellow man!
         I encourage everyone to navigate through the belief systems of society with an enormous amount of perception; not being gullible, not being easily swayed, but trusting the light within rather than going for any source of "light" that can be found without.