C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 37

The first time I heard about people following a concept "to a t" was when I heard the story of my mother only feeding me every four hours as an infant. It didn't matter if I was crying my head off; if it wasn't exactly on the four-hour mark, she wouldn't feed me. She told me that she would stand by my crib, crying, looking at her wrist-watch, waiting for the four-hour mark. Exactly four hours. Why? Because it was a new "concept" being practiced in their church. Every mother in their Protestant Christian church was encouraged to feed their infants only every four hours, as prescribed by a Christian author/mentor of some sort. Since it's what the church said and it's what everybody else in church was doing— it's what she chose to do, too. She chose to follow this concept like a sheep following the master's staff. The problem is— the "master" here wasn't God. Why this concept? You may be thinking right now. Well, supposedly, it would "diminish and eliminate" the "spoiled sin nature" of a child by "not feeding the baby every time it wants to be fed."

So that was the very first example that I ever knew, of how people follow concepts taught by others, to a t. No questions asked, heart and mind ignored— just follow because someone claiming to be close to God said this was God's way of eliminating sin from an infant. And it had all the scientific backing, too! The thing about science though, is that ten years later and the previous theory is always proved wrong. And then if you are product of that theory or a practitioner of it, ten years later you are sitting there, going "Oops" or worse "I'm screwed." Oh and just so you know? The theory of feeding infants only every four hours was indeed proved wrong some ten years later.

People read too much, people listen too much, people follow too much, people look up too much to other individuals who they don't even know. Now, as an author, I know too well that I can say whatever I want to say, put it into a book, and people will buy it and follow what I say. I know that it's possible, because I have those tools at my fingertips. I don't do that, though. I don't give people formulas and tell them what to do with their lives. Delivering messages of basic truths is not the same thing as giving people exact formulas of how to handle their lives, what choices to make, what to do in order to get this specific result, and etc. There is a line that's crossed, I believe, when you take advantage of your influence over people and succumb to trying to "persuade" rather than trying to "share." Sharing and influencing are two completely different things. I don't want to influence anybody. I only want to share. And that's why the things I share are mostly called "quotes" because I deliver drops of essence of basic truths, because that's all that people need, anyway. People really don't need a 500-page book telling them what to do with their lives, what kind of outlook to have, and what exactly to do. Truth is powerful enough, truth only needs a single drop on the tongue and if it is indeed truth— that single drop on the tongue will be enough to change a life. I don't believe in telling people not to feed their infants unless it's on the four-hour mark, I don't believe in telling people how to love other people, or how to raise a family, or how to be in a good relationship. There are basic truths, there is wisdom, and the truth of truth and the wisdom of wisdom— is that it is enough. Truth and wisdom don't need a bunch of "fillers" to make a thicker book or a longer speech. Sometimes I have been invited to hold live speeches in front of audiences and I have said "For what? Ten minutes? Who in their right mind will show up for a speech lasting ten minutes?" What am I going to do? Quote myself?

My own tragedy happened when I, as a teenager, read a book by Dr. James Dobson. It was a book written for teenagers, teaching teenagers what love meant. According to Dr. Dobson, love is not something that you feel in your heart; rather, it is a decision that you make in your mind. And that whole entire, thick book boils down to that one line. I applied that to my life just like every other teenager in church who was reading it and as a result, I robbed myself of the ability to feel love in my heart. I had decided that Dr. Dobson was right and that love was a decision made in the mind and that decision of mine made all the difference in my life. All the negative difference. What a robbery. What a hoax. But that was a long time ago and now I know that love is developed and felt within the heart and then the decision to commit oneself to that love is made in the mind, thus influencing all the members of the body into this burning flight of madness and peace.

The thing about reading these kinds of books is that they make you feel like you have an advantage over the entire population of society. They make you feel like you've reached a "better place" of knowledge. And of course, that's what the authors and the publishers want you to feel like, because that's how they make money! But the truth is this. The truth is that everyone who writes a book or makes a speech or preaches in church is just another person. And everyone needs to make money. Even people in church need to make money.

I believe that every person on earth is just as close to God as every other single person on earth. God is there. God is beside you, all the time, every single second. It only takes an opening of a window and the rest is up to Him. Nobody needs to teach anybody how to walk through a door; that first step is taken by simply showing somebody where the door is. Every soul has a distinct Destiny. A distinct Honor. A distinct Love.

The only books of guidance that I follow are the ancient ones. The ones that can be downloaded for free, were written about a thousand years ago, that nobody's making money off of. Books of learning, books of discovering wisdom and truth. Basic truth. Basic wisdom. No manuals, thank you. Our intuition and foresight must be our manuals. See, the problem with the world today is that people don't seem to have intuition anymore. People cannot see beyond what's in front of their eyes. And that's because everything is spoon fed to them. People are used to having manuals that come in every shape and size— from Cosmopolitan Magazine to Christian Literature. Nobody exercises their extra senses anymore; everybody relies on somebody else. Everybody relies on roadmaps. Everybody wants a blueprint; nobody uses instinct, nobody uses understanding, nobody has foresight, clairempathy, claircognizance, clairsentience, etc. etc. etc. People put these things in the backseat in favour of someone else telling them exactly what to do with their lives. The new generation is indeed inferior to the ancient ones. Yes, we have science now, and all that... but then what? Science prolongs people's lives; but what kind of lives are being prolonged these days? And for what? Where are people going? What are people doing? How are people thinking?

The worst "manuals" that I have come across in this modern day and age— are those by Robert Greene. How to master the art of seduction, how to master the art of power, and etc. Bringing out the pitfalls of humanity, magnifying them, putting those dirty pitfalls up onto a pedestal, enthroning them, enhancing them... and these books are best sellers.

Please, before you follow anything to a t, try seeing your soul as worthy enough to be instinctive, empathic, cognizant, foreseeing, sensing, visionary... the Kingdom of God is within.

The Doe

If they had not torn it out of meAway from meThe soft feathersOf the cygnetWould still be growing fromMy fingertipsAnd Had they not ripped itFrom my chestThe heart of the doeWould still beat within me
But I was tornAnd I was RippedSo now I collect the feathersOf the baby swanI stick them back onto myFingertipsAnd I haveReceived a new heartThe heart of a doeShe gave up her life To restore my soul
I have lostAnd I have foundAgain

Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

The Fawn

When you are GentleTruly gentleLife is difficultAnd it’s difficult becauseNobody else is gentleNobody else aroundIf there are othersThey are far awayAnd far apartBecause this isn’t A gentle raceAnd it’s not a gentleLifeYou will be a fawnIn a world of CheetahsBut I have come to learnThat beside every fawn
Stands a lion
Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved. 

Well, it was an eventful day at C. JoyBell C. — Writer Page. 



As those who have been with me for a very long time already know, I am never around to stroke people's fur. I share what I share, I believe in what I share, I share wholeheartedly, and I will always put the sense of everyone on my page first and foremost, which means that if my core ideology and philosophy is challenged, I will defend my philosophies, because they are my philosophies. Many people on my page trust the things that I write, therefore even if it becomes very taxing on me, I must put myself as second and the other people as first, and take the time to really dig up the roots of my philosophy for the benefit of everyone else. Unfortunately, it is too easy for people to feel entitled to let me know when they don't like what I have written. Now, it is one thing to say "I don't agree" (in which case I would not care at all) but it is another thing entirely, to provoke more from me, and then to not even listen to the "more" that I am sharing. Furthermore, I have never, ever written anything for the purpose of argumentation and debate. I simply don't have time for it. I don't know if people think I am sitting in front of my computer the whole day? Those who have been with me for a long time will already know that when I get mad, then I get mad. There is no use pretending that I never get mad. I will push my grace to it's limits and then I will go badass all over you. People already know that, and in fact, that's what most appreciate about me. I don't write to prove that I am something of a Saint. Where does it say "C. JoyBell C. Writer— the Saint" — nowhere, right? :-) I am only talking about common etiquette. Simply think about etiquette and not pushing someone into going badass all over you. I took so much time and effort revealing the roots of the small piece I had written, and was simply laughed at for giving that effort. I was laughed at "for caring" about my own philosophy. And why should I not care about my own philosophy? It is in fact what I do. Care about my philosophies.



The philosophy was this: That we are not born entitled to love, care, kindness, mercy. Many people in the world don't have it, so if you do have it, any amount of it— you must recognize this as not a privilege; but as an incredible miracle. Now, people misunderstood that. Because people want to be let alone to think that they are entitled to every good thing. Or perhaps they don't know what "entitlement" means. In order to clear that out, here are the definitions of the word:



Entitlement— Wiki

Entitlement— Out of the Fog



As you will see, the feeling of entitlement is associated with personality disorders. Now, let's look at the meaning of worth:



Worth— The Free Dictionary

Worth— Merriam Webster



As you can see, worth is not a product of a personality disorder. I did not say that people are not worthy. I said that people are not entitled. That's why it is always better to know something before the opening of the mouth happens. I do not expect everyone to agree with the things I have to share, nor for everyone to accept the things I want to share, but I at least expect etiquette and respect. I do not have all the time of day to consume on explaining things to people.



Where does this sense of self-entitlement come from? Does it come from people who have inherited this sense from the state of their governments? From their lifestyles? You see, we live in a day and age where our whole lives are driven by commercialism and the market. You walk into a mall and you expect the best possible service. But that's understandable. They are running a business, and you expect the service that you're willing to pay for. But I believe some can get stuck in this mindset and apply this mindset to every area of their lives. (i.e. The whole world is a restaurant. Anyone who is sharing or teaching anything— is there as a waiter/waitress to serve you hand and foot. Anything out there is for your full benefit and so if something rubs you in the wrong way, your first reaction is to express your disdain for it. Everyone is the king or queen of the world.) Now... this is a really big problem. Especially when it comes to the setting with people like me. I share philosophy. Naturally, if you are going to challenge my philosophy, I will be there to stand by it. Now, unfortunately, I don't have the time of day nor the energy to just do that the whole day. So if you want to challenge my philosophies? At least know the definitions of words first, or else you're just wasting my time. The whole world is not a big company designed to please any one person, the whole world is not a restaurant or a mall designed to serve any one person hand and foot. Especially my kind of occupation? I'm here by my own free will. I don't need to write anything, for anyone. And yet, I know that I am not entitled to be appreciated, I am not entitled to be believed, and I am not entitled to be praised. Therefore, I am exceedingly grateful for everyone who expresses these things to me. But also, nobody is entitled to sit there at my banqueting table and complain if they don't like the food on their plate. If you don't like the food on your plate? Politely wait for dessert. C'est la vie.

I once read an incredibly insightful write-up on the topic of innocence. Unfortunately, there's no way of finding it now, I have scoured the internet for it but just can't seem to find it or the author of it. But I want to discuss with you the things that I gleaned from reading it. Actually, it's more like I want to discuss and do some self-reflection at the same time.



According to what I read, innocence in a soul is the ability to see the same thing again and again and again as if you are seeing it for the first time, each time. Innocence in it's purest form, is comparable to the child who is mesmerized by the glowing street lamp every single time she/ he sees it turn on at eight o'clock every night. And so on and so forth. But then it goes further than that. It's not just a cute appreciation for things or finding joy in the small things (as we've all heard before.) But it is actually a thorough forgetfulness of the whole experience and a complete re-living of that experience again and again and again. I guess one could say that it is comparable to having short-term memory loss or something of the like. Anyway, this is where my self-reflection steps into this discussion— I was able to see myself in the article that I read, and actually understand myself. You see... it is quite difficult to understand me. I write all these philosophies and theories and revelations... and yet every day I forget that there is a little pink house standing on the corner of the road, tucked behind tall weeds and wildflowers, on the way to my son's school each day. I just forget that completely, each day (and this is just to give you one small example.) So every single time I see it, I squeal for joy at the little pink house with a little pink door and I talk about how wonderful it is to have it there tucked behind the weeds and the wildflowers like that! This scenario repeats itself throughout my days, taking many different forms. Sheer delight. Over and over and over again. Complete forgetfulness. And yet, I am not stupid. Well, I think many of you would say that I'm really really really not stupid... so it's difficult to reconcile the innocence with the other part of me which produces a wellspring of understanding.



Ultimately, I can understand myself. And this is the funny part— in my own book, The Conversation of Merachefet, I discuss the nature of innocence and explain it to be the possessor of true power and knowledge. I discuss how innocence should not be undermined; as it is the absence of innocence that marks the lower form of human kind. Or just human kind in comparison to the angels.



Now what about sex? Is sex the absence of innocence? I don't see why it should be that way. And I don't think it is that way. To find absolute pleasure in the act of love making has nothing to do with the loss of innocence. In fact, many would argue that the act itself is a spiritual experience (of course, depending on who you do it with.) Why is lust something that is tainted with such ridicule, anyway? Is it wrong to lust? Should we not love what we lust and should we not lust what we love? Why does mankind desire to separate soul from body? As if God did not put us here in these bodies at all? That's why people end up marrying people they only love and then end up having lovers on the side whom they lust. Why not lust whom you love and love whom you lust? The Goddess Aphrodite is the Goddess of both love and lust. The human being is capable of loving from the Divine soul as well as lusting with the body. It's all good! Isn't it? Where is the line drawn then? Well... some things in this world are just plain vile and evil. They don't even have anything to do with lust, anymore. They have to do with evil intentions and it is in the intention where good or evil is found.



So back to innocence... I have an incredible amount of it... so much that sometimes I think I might be handicapped! And yet we all know that I'm not. Moreover... people associate wisdom and understanding with deviousness and diabolical minds... this is not so. Devious, manipulative behaviour is not the result of understand and wisdom, at all. It is nothing Divine, therefore, it cannot be associated with anything of Divine nature.



Not all is learned from mistakes. Not all that is gained, is gained from misfortune and hardship. Some things are simply given and then simply received. Some things are simply the fiber of what we are made of.

I have a surprise for you aaaaaaaallllllll! Introducing the Limited Holiday Edition Vade Mecum brought to you in "cherry red" and "lemon chiffon cake" — same goodness you already love, wrapped up in Holiday redness and sweet cheer! This one will be available only up through the Holiday Season, so add it to your Christmas shopping list for all your friends and loved ones to enjoy and cherish for years to come. What better gift to give for the Holidays than a crown/tiara for the soul?

Look who's had a major makeover! :-) I know I've said that it's time for me to breathe now and let go of my manic zeal for book writing and publishing; but that doesn't stop me from going back through all I've already produced and polishing everything to perfection. The Conversation has undergone a major makeover, as you can see, but what you can't see is the interior layout which has also been refined and perfected. Same content you so love, all brighter and better packaging! ;-) 




Even if you already own The Conversation of Merachefet, I do believe you will still be able to truly appreciate this refined and polished new version. It will be like getting an upgrade on something that you already know and cherish. It's the same value but with added beauty. Now with that been said, I hope you will love the excerpt from my book which I'm sharing with you below. Those of you who already own a copy of Merachefet will be familiar with these words by now but for the others who are getting a glimpse into the book of secrets for the first time, it will be a warm new welcome. Do enjoy.





















“I love him because when I look at other people, when I look at everyone else... they are all right there, over there! And I am here. I am right here. But when I met him, from the first time I saw him, I looked at him and I saw that he was here with me! He wasn’t over there along with everyone else! He was here, right here where I am. Beside me. With me. We were the same!”




“But the two of you... you’re not the same! You’re two completely different people!”




“We are different; but we are the same.”




“How can two be different and the same at once?”




“How do you define difference, simpleton?”




“Well... I think difference is when you are like this, he is like that and those are two different ways of being!”




“That’s not what difference is. Difference is not found in ways of being. Difference is found in places of being! We are only different when we are in different places! And when I speak of places, I don’t mean the measurements of time and space and physical proximities! You may spend the greatest amount of time with someone and share the same exact space with someone; yet not be in the same place as that same person, at all! And then you meet someone one day, someone whom you have never seen before and you look at the person knowing that you are in the same place!”




“So, these places that you speak of, how do we get there?”




“We do not get there; we are born there! Then, many times we forget where! Destiny brings us back to these places.”




“Can you take someone with you to your place?”




“I think yes. Yes, you can take people with you to your place, but only if they were born there and simply forgot where they were born! When they meet you, there is recognition! With other people, there is no recognition!”




“What does it feel like... to meet someone who is in the same place as you? Or who was born in the same place as you?”




“You mean someone who is the same as you?”




“Yes. Someone who is the same as you. What does it feel like to meet that person?”




“It feels like nothing you have ever felt before, you want to stay. To stay with him. Forever. Because if you stay with him, you will never be alone, you will never be lost again, never!”




“So the boy... you recognized him?”




“Yes, I recognized him. And he recognized me.”







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. The Conversation of Merachefet. All rights reserved.

Humans Hurt





I’m afraid of them

She said to me

So I asked why

Because they hurt and burn and sting

They carry pitchforks

And thorns

If they see my eyes

And the softness of my skin

They will burn me

Cut me

And so I cover myself

With this cloak

She said to me

And I asked for how long now

Since I first found out

What they are like

Here, look at my scars!

They did this to me!

Now I hide under this emerald-colored hood

In these woods

Watch out

Humans hurt

She said to me

Then she also told me

That if only they hadn’t

Harmed her

And left her with many scars

She would be just as she first was

So much more beautiful than now

And my heart cried to hear

These things that she said to me

First because of the tragedy

Second because it was true

And third because she couldn’t see

That she was still beautiful

That she didn’t need to hide





Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I planned for Vade Mecum to be a surprise for all of you. It has ended up being a surprise for all of us (including me!) It's the first book that I have published spontaneously (without planning a publication date.) Today I walked around under the sunset and when the moon came out I took my shoes off and stood under it, walked around under the moonlight. I was inspired to even write a short piece about it which I will share below. So Vade Mecum has surprised me, and you, and possibly the universe. :D This little white book is a wacky-wild-unplanned-dirty-feet-moonlit-smile kinda book! It makes me want to howl at the moon! And possibly turn into a werewolf! :D




I'm offering a 25% discount for as long as I feel like offering it, so please, avail of it now: P5TN9Q6Z  at THIS STORE. 











And here is the piece I was inspired to write (inspired by the moon and all of the moonish, grassy, dirty things growing from the earth that make dirty feet):







"I suggest that people walk around under the moon barefoot, as I have today. There's that voice of your mom and dad and aunt and big sister and uncle and annoying cousin in your ear saying "Your feet are going to get dirty and you're going to turn into a bat" so the defiance in the act of simply taking your shoes off and standing there under that moon— is astronomical. A dirty-feet-moonlit-defiance that will make you smile."

I have been reading things recently and watching things on t.v. as well, which have led me to suddenly realize that the opinions and thought patterns of people these days, are greatly influenced by a mainstream social opinion and method of thought. For example, when we look into the direction of Hollywood and the Fashion Industry, we will see masses of people who are directly involved in it as well as those directly influenced by those directly involved— who are somehow greatly swayed by the idea of having zero percent body fat. Incredibly, it is nothing but a simple social suggestion that manages to throw off these individuals' awareness of things as basic as nutrition and well-being. Incredible. And so we have some of the world's wealthiest and most fortunate people, eating only as much as the poverty-stricken, famine-stricken people in Uganda and Namibia. This is not logical, it is not sensible, and yet it is so alarming how something as stupid as that, can become such a daily true thought in the minds of these individuals, only because of it being a collective social thought!



There are many examples, actually. Another is simply how one would react to things and say things. People's reactions and words seem to be cookie-cutter these days and don't actually mean anything, anymore. If you don't laugh in this manner— it means you are awkward. If you do not react in this way to this thing— it means either A or B or C. As a result— people are no longer who they are. In fact, they don't even know who they are, anymore.



Digging deeper here, there is also the underlying truth that human beings are so afraid of going anywhere near the things that they are used to, which they want to get rid of. For example, you will find that people in this day and age are so fixated on being "classy" (whatever their own interpretations of the word are) but you will find that their predisposition to this certain way of being is derived from their desire to escape their "non-classy" background. And this same escapism is echoed into many branches of life. People are running away from what they don't want to be, and as a result, there is so much more focus given on the thing/s that they don't want— that they fail to recognize what it is that they do want. People run away from their pasts, from their worst experiences, from what is it that they don't want to identify themselves with and the unfortunate result is that they go out into the world and they end up looking for what they don't want, only because what they run away from is always present in their minds.



I am of course not saying that every single person falls into these pitfalls I'm discussing here. But I am saying that a great, great, great number of us do. Now, one must first embrace where he/she has come from, accept and forgive it, and then he/she will finally be able to go out into the world without blindfolds and see what it is that he/she actually does want! Only when we embrace and accept our pasts can we truly move forward and make something new and entirely independent of it. Fear and hate have a signature way of pulling you back into them. But they're not actually trying to hold onto you; they're there to keep on taking you in, in order to push you away. You actually have to sort of say "I acknowledge your existence" and then you will be able to move away.



As for mainstream social opinion— I believe this is most unfortunate. You meet people and you're unable to actually meet the person because you are meeting a prototype, a similar thing as to everything else. A similar opinion, similar fears, similar reactions and words and reactions. Then why are you here on this earth, anyway? Huh? Let me ask you that. Think about it. Then why the heck are you here? Why did you come here? Why are you alive! Because I think that you ought to wake up and realize that there is a sky above you, there is soil beneath you and there is a fire within you! And these are the things that are real! You are not able to see yourself as a material suspended in the material that you are placed in— you are unable to see yourself exactly for what you exist as in time and space— you are blind! You are unaware!



Look and see what you are—human with air in your lungs, you have a fire in your spirit, you have the wind which you can breath into you, the sky that illuminates your world! You can walk on rock and soil and mountains! What are you doing with your time? What are you doing with all of this? Are you really going to spend the rest of your time lost in a mainstream opinion of yourself? A mainstream opinion of everything else and everyone else around you? Are you going to spend your time fixated on the popular opinion of what you say and how you react and what you are? You are lost because you cannot see yourself. 





xx

C. Bells