C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 39

The following is something I wrote quite a long time ago. So, this isn't a very new poem, but as I was editing my upcoming book, All Things Lit Like Fireflies, this one just jumped off the page and tore at my heart. I think that it's fitting to share at the moment, since it kind of echoes the latest "theme" I've talked about on my Facebook Page (regarding trust, phantoms and doubts.) It isn't the reflection of my recent train of thought on my FB Page, nevertheless, it does echo that same whisper. I hope you enjoy it, try not to cry!









Don’t Break Your Heart







Let the sparks fade

Let the flame dim and die

Allow the once-bitten apple to fall

From your hand




Let the firecracker fizzle

Let the colours disappear

Allow the dream

To slip through your fingers




It was once

Colourful and bright

It was once

Lofty and palatial




For such a long time

It was what you held onto

Whispered in your dreams at night

You fought for it




But it’s not yours

It never was

The dream you couldn’t touch

You couldn’t hear, you couldn’t taste




You painted it in the

Colouring book of your mind

You decorated it with the

Holly of your wishes




But what if it never

Even was a dream?

What if it was

A nightmare?




You don’t know the poison

You haven’t tasted

You don’t know the thorn

Which hasn’t pricked you




So let go

Watch them go away

Let them fly away

On fragile wings




So let go

Bleed some tears

But then stop

Don’t break your heart




Don’t break your heart







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Hello Wonderfuls!



How are all of you today?



I'd like to announce that I am, at the moment, looking for a cover photo for my next book, which is a pseudo-sequel to my previous and most recent book of poetry All Things Dance Like Dragonflies. The upcoming book is called All Things Lit Like Fireflies, and, like the other one, will be illustrated by me. This book is a little more special though, because I will be superimposing my signature somewhere in the manuscript, so that means that all copies of the book will come "signed" by me! It's an idea I got from a very persistent wonderful on my Facebook Page (who really, really wants to have his copies of my books autographed!) I know it's not the same thing as having the book autographed in person, but, it does come close! So, All Things Lit Like Fireflies will have that little extra personal touch.



At this point, the manuscript is finalized, the interior design of it almost completed, and I am on the hunt for a photo to use on the book's front cover. As always, I invite all eager photographers to send in a photo which would resonate the title of the book. Preferably, a picture of a jar of fireflies captured glowing in the night, or so on and so forth. Fireflies landing upon everything and flying around, are other examples. It's a good form of exposure for yourself and good to put as work experience on your LinkedIn account! ;-) As usual, you would receive full credit in the book and also online. Usually, it doesn't work when I announce that I'm looking for a book cover and I always end up finding one by searching myself, however, I hope that some of you who have already been following me for a long time, would be interested. If not, then I will simply go on my own search for the perfect photo and hopefully find it.



In other news, I am also looking for a good copyeditor for my 67, 454- word novel. If you have all the credentials and experience, please email me with your quote for this length of manuscript.







A viaxe continúa!



— Bells

Stay





I can get pricked

Too much

Sometimes

If a thorn goes deep enough

It can push me back

Into somewhere

Where I begin to forget

Things begin to fade

I begin to renew myself

But sometimes I want it to stop

So I can remember

Because there’s not just bad

There’s good too

But the pain

The prick

It forces me to forget

Everything

And I stop believing



The only one who

Can make me remember again

Is the one in my dreams at night

So I look for him

Over and over again

I look for him

I want him to say my name

And never

Ever leave me





Copyright 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Recently on my page I posted a "Parisian incentive" by which I gave my word of honor to bring ten people to Paris, all-expense paid, for a whole week, staying at Avenue des Champs-Elysées! Now, shortly after I posted it, I took it down. I have since been thinking about a new incentive to come up with (i.e. something less outlandish but still equally empowering.) What was/is the catch? Well, the ten people that I would bring would be the ten people that helped me the most to make 1 million dollars off my books. Yes, you read that right, in exchange for earning 1 million dollars off my books, I would splurge on ten people who helped me earn it! That is, the ten people who generated the most sales for me via referrals of my books. Yes, yes, it sounds crazy, but anyway I took that down from my page already. I do realize that the chances that ten people + me being all available to go to Paris at the same time, are very slim! And, what if everyone's tickets are booked and suddenly I get sick, right? Then I couldn't go anyway and then that would mean ten lawsuits against me! So... there's a better way to splurge on my favorite readers and supporters... I'm thinking here, let me think... what if I send five people to Paris for five days and four nights, at their chosen times of the year, with their one significant other (each person may bring 1 other person, I don't care if it's your lover or your daughter or your chihuahua, whatever), I book the plane tickets, I book the hotel, you're set to go! All you have to do is feed yourself when you get there (because paying for food too would make me lose all my money that I earned in the first place and that sort of defeats the purpose.) So that's five people+one companion for every 500 thousand USD I make (yes, that's ten people in total for every 500 thousand dollars I make off my books.) And I will always do this, every time I earn 500 thousand dollars from my books. If I earn another 500 thousand, I send another 5 people with their chihuahuas and lovers to Paris. So this is how we would do it... every time a friend or family member of yours purchases my book(s), they need to email the receipts to me along with YOUR name (you who referred them to my books) and that will be counted as one sale thanks to you (or two sales— depending on how many books were purchased!) And so the five people who generate the five highest sales will get sent to Paris. Although, I have changed my mind about Avenue des Champs-Elysées. Better to send you to a place I've stayed in myself. There is a hotel in Arr. 12 where I have stayed in Paris and in fact, they have my novella Saint Paul Trois Châteaux: 1948 on their bookshelf! The hotel sits right atop an entrance to the metro which will connect you to all the rest of Paris and it also stands right in front of a perfect boulangerie where I LOVE to buy breakfast from! OMG! There are also strawberries you can buy (a whole bag for 4 Euros), and there are olive vendors, etc. etc. etc. There is also a weekend market that opens very near the hotel where you can buy stuff at! It's also just a some ten-minute walk to the Bois de Vincennes (a beautiful garden with a lake and ponies, you can see pictures of it on my writer page.) So, what better place for me to send you to? And who knows, if you can find my book on their bookshelf, you just might get a free gift! Woop! Let's move along here... so, that's how we'll do it. You get to pick your travel dates and I won't be there; I will just be booking the tickets and the hotel. You are responsible for feeding yourself and getting around Paris on the Metro. Also, if you die during the trip, I will not be held liable for your death. :-) Seriously. I won't take responsibility if you die or if the plane crashes.



Now... shall we begin? Remember to tell your friends and family to email me the online receipts along with your full (and real) name attached! Oh and by the way, how do you know that if I make 500 thousand USD I won't just close down my page and disappear and not keep my word? You don't know that. All you can do is trust me. :-) I give you my word of honor, and my word is good. My word is good. One more thing though... I cannot be responsible for visas! The visa requirements of your respective countries is your responsibility! Meaning, if you can't get a visa to take up my offer, then don't bother because I can't get involved in your visa problems! :-)



Okay, now I feel like that crazy lady in The Hunger Games as I think to myself... let the games begin...



xoxo



Bells

Recently on my page I posted a "Parisian incentive" by which I gave my word of honor to bring ten people to Paris, all-expense paid, for a whole week, staying at Avenue des Champs-Elysées! Now, shortly after I posted it, I took it down. I have since been thinking about a new incentive to come up with (i.e. something less outlandish but still equally empowering.) What was/is the catch? Well, the ten people that I would bring would be the ten people that helped me the most to make 1 million dollars off my books. Yes, you read that right, in exchange for earning 1 million dollars off my books, I would splurge on ten people who helped me earn it! That is, the ten people who generated the most sales for me via referrals of my books. Yes, yes, it sounds crazy, but anyway I took that down from my page already. I do realize that the chances that ten people + me being all available to go to Paris at the same time, are very slim! And, what if everyone's tickets are booked and suddenly I get sick, right? Then I couldn't go anyway and then that would mean ten lawsuits against me! So... there's a better way to splurge on my favorite readers and supporters... I'm thinking here, let me think... what if I send five people to Paris for five days and four nights, at their chosen times of the year, with their one significant other (each person may bring 1 other person, I don't care if it's your lover or your daughter or your chihuahua, whatever), I book the plane tickets, I book the hotel, you're set to go! All you have to do is feed yourself when you get there (because paying for food too would make me lose all my money that I earned in the first place and that sort of defeats the purpose.) So that's five people+one companion for every 500 thousand USD I make (yes, that's ten people in total for every 500 thousand dollars I make off my books.) And I will always do this, every time I earn 500 thousand dollars from my books. If I earn another 500 thousand, I send another 5 people with their chihuahuas and lovers to Paris. So this is how we would do it... every time a friend or family member of yours purchases my book(s), they need to email the receipts to me along with YOUR name (you who referred them to my books) and that will be counted as one sale thanks to you (or two sales— depending on how many books were purchased!) And so the five people who generate the five highest sales will get sent to Paris. Although, I have changed my mind about Avenue des Champs-Elysées. Better to send you to a place I've stayed in myself. There is a hotel in Arr. 12 where I have stayed in Paris and in fact, they have my novella Saint Paul Trois Châteaux: 1948 on their bookshelf! The hotel sits right atop an entrance to the metro which will connect you to all the rest of Paris and it also stands right in front of a perfect boulangerie where I LOVE to buy breakfast from! OMG! There are also strawberries you can buy (a whole bag for 4 Euros), and there are olive vendors, etc. etc. etc. There is also a weekend market that opens very near the hotel where you can buy stuff at! It's also just a some ten-minute walk to the Bois de Vincennes (a beautiful garden with a lake and ponies, you can see pictures of it on my writer page.) So, what better place for me to send you to? And who knows, if you can find my book on their bookshelf, you just might get a free gift! Woop! Let's move along here... so, that's how we'll do it. You get to pick your travel dates and I won't be there; I will just be booking the tickets and the hotel. You are responsible for feeding yourself and getting around Paris on the Metro. Also, if you die during the trip, I will not be held liable for your death. :-) Seriously. I won't take responsibility if you die or if the plane crashes.



Now... shall we begin? Remember to tell your friends and family to email me the online receipts along with your full (and real) name attached! Oh and by the way, how do you know that if I make 500 thousand USD I won't just close down my page and disappear and not keep my word? You don't know that. All you can do is trust me. :-) I give you my word of honor, and my word is good. My word is good. One more thing though... I cannot be responsible for visas! The visa requirements of your respective countries is your responsibility! Meaning, if you can't get a visa to take up my offer, then don't bother because I can't get involved in your visa problems! :-)



Okay, now I feel like that crazy lady in The Hunger Games as I think to myself... let the games begin...



xoxo



Bells

A pleasant surprise for today: I visited my Facebook writer page timeline and saw the following message, from Lynda Herbert Parrott:










"Your writing talents are amazing! For me, it is like surfing an 'ambidextrous' brain wave. Very rare... the left brain is writing rationally, logically... very planned and structured, while at the same time the right brain is writing intuitively... very fluid, spontaneous, artistic... always imaginative and a bit elusive... The results... A wild, fun ride, and one that also makes you think... and ponder the larger, more serious questions of life... "







I'm very thankful for this feedback because it not only allows me to see my work in a better light, but it also allows me to see my work from the perspective of a very observant and intuitive reader. I hope that  everyone else will feel free to tell of their experiences with my books and my other various writings and just as a reminder, please don't hesitate to write reviews on Amazon/Barnes & Noble/ Goodreads/ anywhere! I truly appreciate it! I also enjoy receiving reader-submitted photos (pictures of you with my books/ pictures of my books on your shelf, etc.) and I have a photo album on my FB page dedicated to such images so never hesitate to send them in (you can always tweet them or email them.)










C.C.

I very recently shared something on my Writer Page which I am dying to discuss further. Now, if you've read my book The Sun Is Snowing: Poems, Parables and Pictures , you will know that I am one to have my own theories. I don't know if other people have touched upon the theories that brew in my mind; or if I'm the first ever to come up with them— all I know is that once I have thought about them, they become a theory to me and I have never looked up what other people have said about it or are thinking about it; I just say what I think. Maybe one day science will prove my theories and maybe that will be a long time from now (science is always far behind what the mind is capable of offering). Maybe, maybe not. What's important is that I am thinking! And sharing what I'm thinking! You like that, don't you? Lately, I have been pondering matters of astronomy and quantum physics, I would love to share these thoughts with you if you don't mind. :) Below is what I shared on my Writer Page earlier:



"I'm an amateur astronomer, I have the equipment and the thick books to prove it, too! But today I contemplate on how, though we are a part of the unending universe and are suspended in a never-ending cosmos of ever-expanding things— the more unfortunate instance is not to be without awareness of that fact; but the more unfortunate state to be in, is to not be aware of the equally eternal universe WITHIN. In this cosmos, we swim in stuff that we are made of and that stuff we're made of is ever-expanding inward and inward and inward. It's not just what's out there that's without beginning and without end; but what's inside is equally eternal! We think that we know everything there is to know about the universe without; but what do we really know about something that's always been and that always will be? What we know is probably equivalent to 1/8 a grain of salt and that's it. Now, how much do you know about your inner universe? Your soul?"



Now, to explore this further, I want you to imagine what it means to "swim in stuff that we are made of." Go ahead, imagine it! To swim means to be submerged, oftentimes soaked, in the liquid that we are  moving around in. We are 1. suspended, 2. usually surrounded from all sides and 3. to some level penetrated by the substance we are swimming in. But what does it mean to swim in the same substance that we are made of? That would mean no barriers between the outer material and the inner material! Now picture this: we as human beings, are suspended on a small planet which belongs to only one solar system among the billions of solar systems in our galaxy, which is only one of the galaxies in the trillions of galaxies thriving within any small, small slice of space we can look up at through our two fingers forming a coin-shaped peeping hole, on any given evening (or afternoon or whatever.) Therefore, we are definitely suspended from all imaginable sides and directions. But what if, the barrier that you think exists between the outer universe and the inner universe is not really there at all? Seriously... what do you think is separating you? Your skin and bones? Why? Does not the universe consist of things like ice and dust, too? Physical material is a natural part of the universe, therefore, the flow is continuous and natural from outside to inside! Because that's just the way it is! The "Universe" (always capitalized by Marcus Aurelius in his writings which are encapsulated within the great book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius ) is both invisible and visible. It is a growing, eternally-expanding existence that grows and expands from nothing into something— from what is invisible to what is visible— from what is intangible to what is tangible, therefore, it does follow that we, being both tangible and intangible, both visible and invisible, simply function in this same manner which means that we are really just a part of a consistent flow. There is actually no barrier between the galaxy that you peer into at night and the heart you feel pumping within, and more importantly so, the things that you feel inside that heart of yours! What is it that makes us feel things unseen? Things like Love? Well, what is unseen can be seen only by the invisible eye! Antoine de Saint-Exupéry once wrote in his book, The Little Prince , that "What is essential is invisible to the eye," but I am taking it into a whole different light by saying that what is invisible is visible by the eyes that are also invisible! What recognizes the intangible is also the intangible! The thing that recognizes, recognizes what is the same as itself!



Your soul is no joke; your soul is as real as the ever-growing universe and that's science! That's a fact (a fact in my theory.) Those certain eternal things that you feel are not only as real as the subatomic existences that cause the universe to expand and to continuously create and form and design; but they are in fact of the same material! The unseen thing that though unseen— is able to form, design, create, produce, the things which we call physical material! The stars, the planets, the ice and the dust! So who's to say that we really only journey once? Who's to say that some of us haven't journeyed over and over and over again? Who's to put any limits onto anything at all? When this is the reality of who and what we are!







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Just wanted to share this lovely feedback on my book The Suns Snow And The Sands Move, with all of you...

@CJoyBellC I recently discovered The Suns Snow and Sands Move. Utterly magical & luminous; #poetry I truly felt inside and out. Thank you!!

— Christina Evans (@_christinaevans) June 24, 2013

Hello, wonderfuls! I have been really busy lately, having just published my latest book The Conversation of Merachefet and I must say, as those of you who know me better will already be aware, every time after I come out with a new book I go a little crazy! Like, a little insane really! It's a natural high for me and it feels like jumping off of a wall with firecrackers tied to my ankles and a bottle of Merlot in each hand! Well, Merlot in one hand and blackberry sparkling in the other! Now, even that visual is a little insane, isn't it? There's more to it even— add to that a really loud scream as I jump from the wall with the bottles in my hands! Now that's better, that's more realistic, that's more like how I feel every time for about a month and a half after I publish a book! You can now conclude that I have been really busy feeling insanely insane. Yes. Insanely insane.



So... now I'm working on my next book to be published! I've already shared some poetry from it on here and today I want to share another poem from the later pages of my upcoming book (yes, I know I might be producing books too fast and ought to slow down to give people time to purchase the ones that are already there, so hurry up and buy all my books already so I can move forward!)



I hope you like it...





Be My Mirror





What if I’m the monster?

What a scary thing to say

My skin trembles just a little bit

To hear my own mouth ask such a question

What if I’m the cause

For my own hurts

And pains?

What if I’m the reason why I

Can’t even see all my reasons

To appreciate

To be happy

Because I’m a monster

Covered in purple fur

Fluffy and round and

Sitting in the corner

Behind the shadows of the corner

Pushing everybody away

And I push with my short little monster arms

With soft purplish fur

Having fingerprints of

The raindrops that

I carry in my memories

From rainy days of

A long time ago

Then what if those rainy fingerprints

From my memories

Burn into people’s skin

Or at least mark them

And make them never want to come back?

And I cry

I cry

But what right do I have

To cry?

When I’m the one who pushed them

Away?

So I might be a monster

A purplish, furry one

Round

And standing in the shadows

Of that corner over there



But maybe I’m not



I could be full of love

And sunshine

With sunbeams all over my face

I could be a flying thing

With wings

That’s not a monster at all

But something that flutters with wings

And lands on things

With a ballerina’s touch

Making stuff come back to life

And sprout through the ground

Breaking through the soil

Of the earth and of hearts!



But maybe I'm not



When I listen to myself

I think I just might be

A laughing sort of thing

Finding something amusing

Worth laughing at

In everything

Like those windy days

That remind you of

Visits to the park

When you were eight

The wind grabs your hair

And pulls your ear close

To whisper things beautiful

And almost forgotten

But not quite forgotten



And you laugh!



So what am I?

Can you tell me?





Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I am often asked about the symbolism behind the C. JoyBell C. emblem. As many of you have already noticed, this emblem represents me and I use it as my profile picture on my facebook page. Instead of explaining this in a simple, straightforward way; I would rather encapsulate the meanings in a writing— let he who has wisdom figure it out for himself (or herself, of course.) 























Aurum, Anima







Swan of the waters

Teach me to glide




Pegasus of the stars

Bear my soul




Eagle of the air

Train my wings to soar




As above

So below

In between




Rose

White

Yellow




Aurum




Water

Cosmos

Air




Anima




Pronounce a caim

Form a hedge







Above me

Below me

Within me







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.