C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 41

In a day and age wherein "the way of privilege" is being taught left and right (it's quite the trend nowadays); allow me to go against the mainstream flow by saying that the human race sees itself as far too privileged than it really is. And the result is a downfall.




People are always taught that "everything happens for a reason," and that is true in the superior context of "identifying design under chaos;" but that superior context is a state that hardly anybody exists in, anyway! It is far too superior in it's nature! So what I'm talking about is the everyday "quote" you will see floating around that will tell you that all you must do is sit prettily because everything that is happening in your life is designed for your benefit, giving you the picture in your mind that from the cradle to the grave you are set in perfect favor. This is a beautiful way to think, yes, but I am here to tell you that if you were to realize very early on that there is destiny and there are chances in life and there is such a thing as being at the right place at the right time, then you would develop a sense of zeal to fulfill that which is your own! The truth is that, it is far too often that your fate will get entangled somewhere and you will be held back from fulfilling your destiny, because you are spending your time "trusting the universe" instead of being wise and keen! The Bible itself says "Be wise as serpents, harmless as doves." But think about the first part, first! How wise and keen is a serpent, pray tell? Pretty wise and keen, if you ask me!




You have this complacent attitude that you "want the best" and therefore the best will happen to you; without realizing that "the best" could be going the other direction! And why wouldn't you realize that? It seems perfectly logical that you would realize that, given the laws of nature (I don't care to explain these laws, just look at the everyday, ordinary laws of nature that surround us, which dictate that you can be going in one direction and something else could be going in the totally opposite direction); let me tell you why! You wouldn't realize that because from childhood you have been brainwashed into believing that there is a sugar-coater somewhere, who is going to "sugar coat" your circumstances and make those circumstances turn out to be purposeful in the end! The truth is, you should be walking around living your life with your eyes wide open, ready to jump on a chance when it shows itself to you! Chances are like rabbits in the moonlight! You have to jump on them the moment they jump into the moon's beams, before they hop off again into the night! But why don't you do that? Why don't you treat chances like that? You don't because you believe that you are in your circumstances and situations because you are supposed to be there and because you should stand there while the best will be placed on your plate for you! And that is the trend of teaching going on right now. Again, I am here to say, that if you wake up from this dream and see that nature of how things work, for what they are and for how they work; you will be able to identify the truth that some things can be stollen from you, some things can be hidden from you, some things are just far away from you (so you have to go get them), and sometimes what's your's ends up with somebody else because they are manipulative, conniving bitches! And that is the power of the evil eye, for you!




While it is true that there is design under chaos; it is also true that complacency and the feeling of entitlement are the easiest "anesthesias" to apply to mankind! It's easy to apply because the needle used to inject it, is actually something that people like! This needle gives people the feeling that there is no need to regret anything, there is no need to be keen about anything, because they are just that entitled! Who wouldn't want to be poked with a needle like that? But the truth is, you should regret certain things! You should feel remorse about certain things! And there are things that just shouldn't have happened! You've got to give more credit to darkness, darkness does have the power to adversely change things in one's life! And sometimes, it is the light that succumbs to the darkness, if you are simply going to let it happen, it will in fact happen! 




The state of complacency and entitlement knocks a person out, drowns a person, and destiny goes by and onto the next fellow who actually has perception! At the end of the day, yes, there is a design budding forth from the chaos! But the question is... who's design is it? Will you be the one in the design? Or will you be the one left in somebody else's chaos?




Think about it. It is not as beautiful as they tell you it is. You have to make it beautiful!




xx

Another piece you can expect to find in my next book of poetry. I just wrote this one a few minutes ago...







My Eyes







I have a very remarkable relationship

With myself

I want to call it strange

But that would just sound too odd




You see

I keep on forgetting myself

And keep on colliding into all these

Other things like




My own fears and expectations

I’m always left breathless

My heart never stops pounding

Everything is always new!




My own serenity and castles

I’m always left in a tangible Olympian

Existence of peace

A peace that dilates my soul!




When my soul dilates

My heart starts pounding

Again

I never remember myself for too long




Until I run into myself

Again

Or until someone comes along

And reminds me




And wouldn’t it be wonderful if

A person like that could

Stay forever

Then I would never forget myself




Seeing my soul’s reflection

In his eyes every day

Would remind me to stop

Flying in the winds!




But can I even help myself

If I am blown about in the winds?

For I know not if I have any attributes

Of flesh and blood




Of earth and clay




I think that

I eat off the wind

My heart beats to the drums of fire

My skin swims to the rhythm of water




My eyes are made of mercury







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

The following is something I wrote last year, which I will be incorporating into my next book of poetry:







Seraphim




Maybe I just need to accept my fate

There are only a very few like us

Perchance we will never find

One another

Perhaps I will never find

My other half

The other half of my soul

The other being just like me

I know he is there

He comes to me in my dreams at night

And teaches me many things

He shows me my lives of old

And guides me through the

Coming sorrows of my future

He is there

Yes he is

But I cannot touch him

Save for in my dreams

I cannot hold him

Save for my spiritual journeys

I am so tired

Of the wait

I am worn and bruised

I am ruined and broken

Must I wait still

What if it is only a dream

And he will never come to me?

If he is there

How could he stay afar for so long?

Have mercy on me, Almighty Providence

Take me under your wing Divine Intervention

Have mercy on Your wandering one

I have wandered too long

And I am pained too much

Let not my enemies scoff at me

Let not my enemies triumph over me

May he walk out from my dreams

And into this realm

May he step out of my memories

And stand in front of my eyes

For I am weary and vexed

Are there no others like me out there?

Is there only one of us left?

If there are more, and if you hear me

Come to me now

Save me, deliver me

Take me into you, as your own







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

“I don't understand why people care so much about showing that they are good; because I am rather comfortable with having badness, quite okay with being inexplicable. They tire themselves so. The light is beautiful; but light can't hide treasures like the darkness can.”




~ C. JoyBell C.







The above words are something I wrote last year, and today, I would like to further discuss it. What exactly, are treasures from the dark side? Well, it can be a great number of things; like finding inner strength within yourself beyond your imagination upon falling into the darkest hours of your life! That's the easiest thing that comes to mind. Another thing would be to grow leaps and bounds as a person upon embracing the reality that not all things are peachy and meaningful. It feels good to believe that all things are peachy and meaningful, and in a way, they truly are! For example, all the mistakes, errors, losses, and wrong roads taken, in one's life, could very well be the reason why you have found the most beautiful person in your life! Or perhaps not a "reason" but more like the avenues by which you are made to look into the direction of that person, in the first place. And I am not even talking about glorifying hardships, here! I've also said in the past, that if you set hardships on a throne in your life, and believe that it will be the source and wellspring of all good things, then it's repeatedly going to happen to you, just because it is the thing you have glorified and see as a wellspring! So this is not at all about glorifying hardships. In fact, it is quite the opposite! 




More specifically why I am making this post today, is to say, that sometimes we show people just how bitter their circumstances are, not to destroy them or to make them feel unaccepted, but rather to show them exactly how big the wound is! How deep the gash is! It is a different kind of a gift! And I think that it is a gift from darkness. Yes, it is wonderful to comfort, be kind, to say that everything is going to be okay and to tell someone that there is a rainbow after the rain, that there is hope at the end of the rainbow, that there is always a silver lining! That is one kind of a gift. But the other kind is to say to the person "Look! Look at your wound! It is deep, it is large, it is festering, it is infected, and it's not going to get any better, until you see that! Until you realize that! So that he can bind it up, he can medicate himself, he can remove the infection and watch the wound heal! Because large wounds aren't cured by band-aides. Gashes in the flesh aren't cured by saying that everything is tinted in a rose-colored hue. The only way a person can be treated of an infection, is if he first knows that it's there, sees it for what it really is! And this is the braver gift to give, really! It is the gift of a brave love! Because with this kind of gift, you are not making yourself look any good! You are not making yourself look kind and wonderful and sweet and caring! It is the gift that doesn't make the giver look good. It is a selfless gift, intended only for the benefit of the receiver. Of course it would be wonderful if the receiver recognizes this and acknowledges this, but the giver always knowingly runs the risk of that not happening. But what does happen, more likely, is a true healing, a true freedom, in the end! 




They say that the worst disease on the planet is leprosy. What is leprosy? And why do people's body parts begin to decay and simply fall off of the rest of the body? Leprosy is in fact, simply the loss of the sense of pain! When a person is unable to feel pain, he won't be able to know what's going on with his body parts, hence, he won't be able to react accordingly, and in the end, the disease of leprosy eats the person alive, decays the person's flesh while he is still breathing, and why? All because he ceased to feel pain! All because he was numbed by a disease that took away his ability to look into the direction of something that hurt on his body and to see it there! Because just as detrimental as not being able to see any good in things; is not being able to see any bad in things! Some people like to see only the best in others; I like to see only the truth in others. 




Sometimes, you have to make people feel what they need to feel, not allowing them to sugar-coat their mistakes and their bruises. You can't let them get leprosy. I'm bad with the purpose of producing that which is selfless and good! I'm like Catwoman.







Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved. 

Today I have been reflecting on the nature of the swan, and on the beauty of that nature. The swan takes up a big part of my own symbolism as incorporated into my "The Three Flights" emblem which can be seen as the trademark profile photo at my writer page, and also on the cover of my book, The Suns Snow And The Sands Move. While I will save the explanation and definition of the emblem itself for a later date, I just want to talk about the swan, for now.




Why contemplate on the nature of the swan? Why be mesmerized by its beauty? There is something exceedingly true and genuine about this beautiful creation of God! Without making a motion, without making a noise, the swan can glide serenely and gracefully over the surface of the water and cause all heads to turn! Without calling for attention, all attention is given to it. Without causing a commotion, people will rise and walk or even run to watch it glide by– and the swan doesn't even notice! In fact, the beautiful creature will be so engrossed in the way of the movements of the water and of its own body, that it seems untouchable and in its own realm of beauty, altogether! 




I have never forgotten a single swan that I have ever seen glide by, in front of me! Even a mere glimpse is enough to retain it's image in my memory. Without calling for it, without manipulations and deceit, the swan manages to embed itself in my memory and take up a very special place in my heart, just because I was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of it! There is absolutely no struggle to be unforgotten!




The swan as my personal emblem, represents everything that I believe I stand for when it comes to true beauty and true grace. Now if only I can find those that share in my nature; for I have long since been surrounded by too many ducks.





(Photo via Pinterest)

For no other reason other than that today I am happy, I am offering ALL of my books on 50% discount! Let's call this the "Sunny Days Are Happy Days" discount gift! Because the minute it rains, this discount gift is over! That means if it rains later on, that's the end of the discount gift and if it rains 5 weeks from now, you get to enjoy this 50% off for five more weeks! :D So, pray for sunlight, everyone! And do enjoy! 







50% Discount Code: J8KD7FVA





This discount may be redeemed at any/all of these four stores (depending on which of my books you would like to purchase):





All Things Dance Like Dragonflies

The Sun Is Snowing

Saint Paul Trois Châteaux: 1948

The Suns Snow And The Sands Move





































While
the sunlight lasts...

“Whatever anyone does or says, I must be emerald and keep my colour.”

(Marcus Aurelius; Meditations)







As many of you may already know by now, the above quote by Marcus Aurelius has been my motto in life. But today I raise a question for all of us to think about! What happens when one day someone comes exploding into your life and already knows that you're an emerald? You have spent your life keeping your color; despite the fears, betrayals, disappointments and hurts, then what if one day somebody falls down from the assembly of the gods and simply knows you through and through? Your color, your worth... the fact that you are emerald! The question is: how do you stop "keeping" color, when all you have left to do is simply to "be" emerald? No more fear. How does one begin to cope with the sudden loss of fear? Certainly it is the very best thing that can happen to an individual on earth, but I am startled by the realization that letting go of the battle against life and simply being alive, might actually require courage, in itself! It takes courage not only to fight; it also takes courage to believe that good things can happen. It takes courage to simply have grace, to breathe. There comes a time when you no longer need to protect yourself, and that is just as honourable, and perhaps even more honourable, than all the battles you stood up to fight!




xx

I can see, and I think it is very easily and obviously spotted anywhere and everywhere, that we live in an era of self-entitlement. I think it's very apparent that the main drive of people these days, is to feel better about themselves. People do things, read things, say things and think things, with the goal of lifting themselves higher. And people are believing in things that promote this train of thought. "The Universe will do everything for you", "Universe will conspire for your good", "You are your own god", "Everything is created for your glory." And while I truly understand how these schools of thought and various belief systems make people feel better about themselves in many ways, I still believe that humility is the greater virtue.




There is a danger that is created by collective beliefs of this nature. When every person is focused on feeling good about himself or herself, there is a great temptation to become blind to personal faults. And I believe that the true way to create something beautiful, is not through the blinding of the eyes to all of one's faults, but it is through the correction of these faults! And in order to correct a fault, one must first see it! You are never going to see your faults, if all you believe in is a theory and a lifestyle of self-entitlement!




To inflate the sense of well-being is an understandable need. But is it the more powerful state to come into? I think not. I think that humility is the more powerful state to step into. And it is only the smaller that needs to inflate herself bigger, while it is the bigger who will decrease in size to be able to fit down lower. People have this dream of being unreachable. They build a name for themselves and then finally fulfill their dream of "being more important." Which just shows they were born from down below. Because when you're born from up above, your dreams have nowhere to go but downwards! And you dream of doing things in order to meet people, to know them, to understand the smallest importances. The one who is born of the earth, dreams of the sky. The one who is born of the sky, dreams of the earth.




Not all things that make you feel good, are things that you need. It's wonderful to be able to instantaneously have all the things that make you feel good– be it praises, material things, words that you read to yourself, and etc. But is it the more honorable thing to have? Or do you actually become a better person through the process of lowliness and the acknowledgment of lack? And I'm not saying that one should not strive for anything more! In fact, I am saying quite the opposite– one can strive for more when one acknowledges that one is needful of more! The wisest man of his time, Plato, said “I thought to myself: I am wiser than this man; neither of us probably knows anything that is really good, but he thinks he has knowledge, when he has not, while I, having no knowledge, do not think I have.” And so even the acquisition of wisdom should be done under the cloak of humility. It's not for showing that we are wise, but it is simply for the ascension of the soul. Aha! Now here we come to a true uplifting! An ascension through the path of humility! Out of a nothingness, the Universe was born! Was it born from a greatness? No, it was born from a nothingness. In the humblest block of coal can be instilled and encapsulated– the hottest and brightest flame! Out of the smallest places if insignificance, can come the brightest sparks of the soul, which sprout wings and carry one up higher!  And this is the flight that cannot be hindered, the flight that truly flies higher than the eagles!




So I warn against self-entitlement, against the feeling that everything is created for your own benefit, that everything is surrounding you to lift you up, that you are the center of the Universe... I warn against these systems of thought. It is very easy to lose one's humility, therefore losing one's greatness! For true greatness lies in humility; humility is the single most beautiful ornament that you can wear, and the most powerful state of being you can exist in. 





Copyright © 2013 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

My son is memorizing a poem for a school activity, which happens to be a beautiful piece by E.E. Cummings. I love this poem if only for the last line of it, by which I entitled this post. When I read this poem, and when I help my son with reciting it, I feel that every other line, every other word in the poem, leads to that very last line and when that very last line is read, it sends tingles through one's soul. Everything else in this piece builds momentum for that beautiful last line.




My son asked me what I thought it was all about, and I said "You know how he is describing someone (could be a lover, a child, or a loved one) all throughout the poem? Someone who obviously has the gentleness and the power to be so much to him? Well he all sums it up in the end as hands so small that can reach into the very crevices and cracks of his heart and soul. You know how a drop of water can get into anything? Well even a drop of rain doesn't have hands so gentle and so powerful like this person he writes of!"




I admit that I am surprised the poem is written all in lower-case letters, which I find a strange thing for an old poet to do (poets of the past eras). But the lower-case letters do add to the gentleness, simplicity, and "smallness" of it all.




Today is the day before Valentine's Day (2/13/13) and is also the day I have officially published my book All Things Dance Like Dragonflies! You might be thinking Why didn't she wait for Valentine's Day? Well, it just so happens that the number "13" is the gematria of two very important words in Kabbalah; "Echad" and "Ahavah" ("One" and "Love"). Therefore two thirteens together create "One Love" ; "Echad Ahavah" so as a matter of fact, 13/13 is a very powerful representation of love in Kabbalistic gematria. So, today is even more powerful than Valentine's Day, and fueled by the fact that it is right before the "Love Day" of the world! But I will also point out that it's already Valentine's Day in many countries right now! So a Happy Valentine's Day to all of you who celebrate! I have numerous cakes to offer up to everyone, in the celebration of One Love, Valentine's Day, and the publication date of All Things Dance Like Dragonflies! Cake is served as the main course and we'll all have the poem for dessert!






































somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond




by E. E. Cummings







somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond

any experience, your eyes have their silence:

in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,

or which i cannot touch because they are too near




your slightest look easily will unclose me

though i have closed myself as fingers,

you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens

(touching skillfully, mysteriously) her first rose




or if your wish be to close me, i and

my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,

as when the heart of this flower imagines

the snow carefully everywhere descending;




nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals

the power of your intense fragility: whose texture

compels me with the color of its countries,

rendering death and forever with each breathing




(i do not know what it is about you that closes

and opens; only something in me understands

the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)

nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

COMING SOON!!!!!!!












A sampling of what's in store for you...




































Hoppípolla

  

You know

I still remember the way your perfume smelled

You jumped up and down

The muddy water in the puddle

Splashed

Some mud even landed on my chin

Your hair bounced

And froze in the summer wind

All around your face

Rose petals

The air always smelled like

Rose petals

When we jumped

And skipped around

In those muddy puddles

Your eyes would twinkle

You know?

They would twinkle and inside them

I could see myself

You are

My best friend










hoppípolla




(v.) Icelandic word which translates in
English to the exact phrase “jumping into puddles.”










Copyright © 2013 All Things Dance Like Dragonflies, C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.




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