C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 45

I am currently faced with the search for answers to a burning set of questions. I primarily ask myself "When your visions supersede the visions of those who are supposed to be responsible for providing the best for you, how do you expect to create that positive change?" I think this burns in the hearts of many people at many different levels and for a variety of reasons. If the people of a nation have visions that supersede those of their government, what can those citizens do to change their country? But this should be a question that is over and done with, given the fact that we have seen beautiful visions materialize in many different nations. We have The Velvet Revolution in the Czech Republic, The Singing Revolution in the Baltic States, etc etc etc. However, there are those nations that still exist in darkness. We have many third world nations ruled mostly by the mindset of elitism, and what visions can prosper in the atmosphere of elitism?



We have seen communism overthrown various times and so one may ask him/herself "If communism can fall, how much more elitism?" But look at this, while communism imposes equality for all, elitism embeds in the minds of people that they are only worth how much is found in their bank accounts. People grow up this way, it is engraved upon them at a volatile age, they are formed in the mold of belief that their visions do not matter, that their opinions are worth less, that their desires will amount to nothing, that their passion for change will not hold water. How do you topple the dark dragon who thrives in its own small, toxic atmosphere? On the other end of this same table, are those who grew up being taught that they are worth more than everybody else, due to the large sum of their bank accounts, that them and their offspring are/ or should shine brighter or be better. They are surrounded by those who whisper things in their ears that they so long to hear, they are cushioned in their small worlds, and believe things that they deem as universal truths, meanwhile, they exist in a small bubble cut off from reality. They are surprised by reality, they are taken aback by the world, they lie to themselves about themselves and about other people. They cannot see their own reflections in their mirrors. How does one give reality to those who have not been given the chance to acquire wisdom? To even simply look at their own reflections in the mirror? Because the first step to the acquisition of wisdom, the first step into reality, is the seeing of your own true reflection in the mirror: look at what you really are! Realities cannot be hand-picked, especially when they are being picked out of a very small box.



Questions like these, are not of my primary concern in life. But they are of primary concern in the lives of millions of people in this world. Millions of people suffer under "dark dragons." Millions of people are made to feel like they are of less importance, on a daily basis, by the use of everyday words and actions. They have learned to accept these feelings, to not reject these feelings, to act as if they deserve that treatment. And what can we do? What do we do? We can carry a mirror in our souls and lift this mirror into the faces of these big dragons in small places, showing them their reflections for what they are truly like; but does this really change anything? Does this really make any difference in the lives of millions? Should we be happy to light a small flame, a small spark? Or should we realize that monsters create monsters and feed upon monsters and this is their abode and monsters should be allowed to have their caves and dwell with their bats? Yes, we all love the equines and the dolphins, but who is to say that bats should not exist? Darkness is darkness– should we let it be?

You only need one man to love you. But him to love you free like a wildfire, crazy like the moon, always like tomorrow, sudden like an inhale and overcoming like the tides. Only one man and all of this.





"Natural Magic" by Eleanor Fortescue Brickdale (1872- 1945)









I recently shared this piece of art on my Facebook Page, along with my writing as seen above. There is something I would like to briefly discuss. First of all this was done in pencil and watercolor by the British Pre-Raphaelite, Eleanor Fortescue Brickdale, who bursted into the said era with color and vibrancy! She came onto the scene in the latter years of the artistic era, nevertheless, she remains one of the most celebrated Pre- Raphaelites and one of the very few women to grace this era, as well! Now with all that been said, I want to point out something that I think allows people from two mindsets to see this one piece of art in two entirely different lights. It all has to do with the crown in the hands of the woman! Now, when I first looked at the crown in her hands, perpetually suspended above the man's head, I immediately believed that she was adorning his head with a crown, because she had crowned him, she had chosen him to be her "only one", she chooses him to be her only one and crowns his head with her favor! Then after studying the work of art for a while longer, I realized that it could be seen in two lights; the first one being the light in which I immediately saw it, while the other one being in the light that she is removing his crown! So which one is it? Is she crowing him, or is she dethroning him? To which school of thought do you subscribe?




I think that seeing this photo in either light, tells the heart a tale of truth! Because I believe that to crown a man with your favor is one of the most honorable and noble expressions of a woman's love! Oh yes, in the streets (like on internet forums and in magazines) we hear so much of women complaining how men think themselves to be kings and princes or what not! But when you take yourself out of the streets, you can take yourself to a place where the crown of favor is something a woman desires to give and a man desires to accept (as you can see in the painting above, he is at her feet, swooning over her in adoration). There is nothing shameful about being a man's crown, or in crowing a man with your favor. Afterall, you must realize that if you are the one crowning him, that means you are the one from whence the crown came! You're the original royal!




Now, for those of you who see this is her "dethroning" the king/prince, I nonetheless see this as a beautiful allegory! To reduce a king or a prince to nothingness in the presence of your womanhood is just a day's work in the realm of Venus! And so a depiction of magnificence that is brought into the levels of gentleness and adoration (we see the man kneeling at her feet) is a profession of love, and it's a very beautiful one! Yes, yes, in this day and age of "expert dating books" and "expert relationship advice" people are taught the craft of manipulations and deceptions and the "game" as if love is a competition! As we can see from this timeless work of art, such isn't the case, it doesn't need to be the case. And that's why I like this painting so much! Because it has the power to take people's minds out of the gutters and allow them see love through the original eyes of the soul! 






xx

I was taught that the more I gave, the more I would receive. But then when I gave away all the macaroons in my box; I saw that I was left with no more macaroons! And everybody had already eaten all of the macaroons I'd given them, leaving not even a crumb for me! So then I concluded that the more I give, the more is gone! Now I keep my box of macaroons for me and for those I know love me too!








DeviantArt

That's what I feel like right now! Marvelous! There's just nothing that can compare to how I feel upon finally being able to see the fruit of my labour! 




I am so pleased to announce that I beat my deadline (10-11-12) for the release of my newest book!









I passed my polished PDF (I proofed it nine times before finally feeling satisfied) and went to sleep, not expecting it to pass the review process in time (a process that consists of human experts viewing the final manuscript to see if it meets industry standards, which usually takes 48 hours); but lo and behold, this morning I woke up to the most pleasant surprise! My manuscript approved and ready at the printer! On the exact day that I dreamed of it to be born into the world! 10-11-12! I guess it was meant to be! I'm very happy with the cover of the book, which to me is in itself the beginning of the whole story! You see a girl in her ethereal blue dress walking on heavenly-vanilla sands and you know she's beautiful even from behind! You know she's going somewhere... a journey of discovery... to a shore that meets with the rest of the universe perhaps... oooohhhh what wondrous things she will find... and then you open the book and begin that journey, yourself! 








I really do just feel like releasing balloons into the air in celebration! It is just tremendously rewarding to reap the fruits of your labour! Especially when it is the labour of something that you so love! 




When I looked into the book's pricing, I was a little disappointed to see that the book is selling for the same price as the first edition (because it's expensive), but then in a few seconds I realized that this second edition is 170 pages thick while the first one was only 112 pages thick! And when I realized that, it made me so happy! I know I'm offering my book at a price that speaks for its quality, therefore, it's very affordable! You see, this is how books are priced at Createspace: first of all, the price has to cover the costs of manufacturing (of course) and then there are other costs, in the end they suggest to you the lowest possible price to cover all costs, and you can choose the lowest possible price or you can increase the first suggested price to increase your royalties. I'm offering my book to you at the lowest possible price of 

$ 31.99 which makes small royalties for me, but that price speaks for the grand quality of the book itself! I myself always like to know that I'm getting what I'm paying for! Felicitations!!!!!!!!! 









Of course, we can't possibly complete this celebration without some cake! So here's a celebration cake for all of you out there! Joy to the world! My book has come! 




I also want to share with you the list of participants, photographers who contributed to my book!






Get your copies soon, everybody! Joys and wonders to all! 




C. JoyBell C. dot com








(All photos above belong to the public domain, belonging to or authored by no known source.)

We finally have a release date for The Sun Is Snowing: Poems, Parables and Pictures! Mark your calendars for 10-11-12! That's October 11, 2012! 










Book cover photo by Ana Guerrero with her daughter Sofia in the beautiful blue dress.

Do I think that the literary industry is an unfair world to be a part of? Well, most certainly. But then I don't go through life wishing for things to "be fair" so I can't complain.





Being an indie author is no piece of cake. As an indie author, I am not only an artist but I am an artisan as well, I not only am a writer but I am a book maker also, I not only create things with my heart and mind but I create things with the skill of my hands, too! And then I earn pennies. Now, compare that to the sponsored author who is backed by multi-million dollar publishing houses; all she/he has to do is write something and that's it. The sponsored author is lying in the wings, waiting for whatever the consumers want next, and then provides that for the consumers, which isn't difficult to do when the author is provided with everything: copyediting, marketing, advertising, distribution, promotions of the books and the person of the author, too! In a way, the sponsored author (usually called the traditional author), is providing a service. The traditional author is detached from the whole process because his/her involvement ends with the words at the back of the book "The End." In contrast, the indie author's journey has only just begun with the words "The End."




It's hurtful to read what the traditional authors and their multi-million dollar sponsors have to say about indie authors. After all, the main differences between the sponsored author and the indie author are that: the indie author works harder, puts more time and backbone into her craft, has most likely become attuned to the book making process, is most probably a headstrong person who won't write something just because its what the consumers want, is most probably a very dedicated individual who gives time and effort into his/her own copyediting, marketing, advertising, promotions, and etc. while the traditional author has less involvement in the whole process, is marketed and promoted and advertised and distributed by their sponsoring companies, and they (majority, but not all) always have this arrogant attitude while talking about indie authors as if indie authors are from a lower class! I think it's all very despicable, people trying to reassure themselves of their self-importance is the very reason why people lose class in the first place, so doing such a thing as a "proof of one's class" is just the echo of what classlessness is! By jove! The confusion of people! 




I have respect for traditionally published authors, and I don't wish for them to feel that they are lesser, after all, the world is so big with so many things in it, why do people always feel the need to make comparisons, anyway? But I must say that the indie author possesses a unique capability exhibited in the talent of being both artist and artisan, in being so attached to the whole process of what it means to be a book-maker, in being fully given to his/her craft and so fully given that he/she truly becomes a book-producer in the full sense of the word! It's just unfortunate that the traditional authors get all the praises because their publishers have all the money to send copies of their books everywhere in order to receive all of that praise (newspapers, magazines, bookings on t.v. shows, etc.) But you know, c'est la vie! That's life and I wish them all much success!




Much like the indie actor, is the indie writer. It's among the indie films that you will find such raw craftsmanship, yet you wont see those actors on billboards spread all over your main highway or in the tabloids! No, nobody even remembers the indie actors! Because they're thespians, they're not celebrities. They're actors, they're not entertainers. They love their craft, period.




Think about this. Walt Whitman, the author of Leaves of Grass, was an indie author. Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a traditionally- published, sponsored "author", does that make her a better writer? Does that give her more "class"? What about all those other people who are actually paid by publishing companies to write anything at all for them, just because the companies know that they can cash in? Does that make them more respectable "authors"? 




We must all take a step back and think first. Life is not about proving one's self-importance to others and we shouldn't feel threatened by something that's different. I would be so pleased to see the day when sponsored authors feel secure with their status, secure enough to leave the indie authors alone. And all indie authors, we should wish the traditional ones well, because we all have our own lots in life and that is just the way it is! 




xx

As some of you may already know, I recently decided to stop "philosophizing" in public. Which means I decided to stop posting my philosophical visions in public places (mainly Facebook).








I'm naturally a shy individual, and I'm mortified at even the thought of speaking in front of many people. When I'm at meetings with several people, I feel utterly mortified after saying anything in front of them, my face starts turning red and everything! 








When I was three years old, I was supposed to be the flower girl at an important wedding. I remember standing there at the end of the aisle, the music was playing, I looked at everyone turning around in the pews to look at me, and I wouldn't budge! I decided not to move! So the minister actually had to call out to the congregation "Does anyone want to be the flower girl?"








When I was seven, I was the fastest reader and writer in class (I was also among the top five most brilliant students of the State of Florida), so come graduation, I was chosen to read a lyrical piece in front of the whole school in the auditorium with all the parents and teachers! I crossed my arms and said to the teacher "NO!" I simply refused to do it! And mark my words, when I didn't want to do something, NOBODY could make me do it!








Even now, when there are PTA meetings at my son's school, I really do feel mortified just to open my mouth to ask a question in front of all the other people that are there! So, such is the story of me! I never did see the importance in placing myself in front of people, I was quite content spending my time in nature, touching the roses (really) and walking in the streams (for real). It's not that I'm antisocial, because I love to meet new people and go to parties, and it's not that I'm a coward, because I can go to foreign lands I've never been to before, all alone, which is something that even grown men are afraid of doing (so they tell me)! It's just that I really don't like to place myself in front of an audience, that's all. 








On Facebook, every time that I say something, I feel like I'm standing on the other end of that church aisle on that wedding day I was supposed to be the flower girl in! I feel like that all over again, but then I go ahead and say it, anyway. I feel mortified every time, and it just becomes a nightmare when people challenge me in comments, people who clearly don't even understand what it is that I do. It's one thing to be questioned by people you know and trust, it's another thing to be poked by people you don't know at all. Back when there were only a few people on my page, it felt a lot better. But now, I really do feel like I'm standing on top of the Trevi Fountain, surrounded by masses from all over the world! And lots of them don't think before they speak (unfortunately).  So ultimately, even if you will miss my words, it's not benefiting me to say these things anymore. Afterall, they are just my words, aren't they?  








Anyway, it's really not that big of a deal. My books don't have anything to do with the things I say on Facebook, I think that people presume that the things I say on Facebook are the things I write about in my books, but that's not the case, the two are not related. Aside for this book I'm working on at the moment, in which I decided to incorporate some of that, as well.








I have never been interested in proving or showing to people that I am happy, I have only been interested in actually being happy. 






xx

As many of you already know, I am currently busting my arse on the second edition of my first published book The Sun Is Snowing. I'm excited about this book, because I am creating it in the form of a "field guide", meaning that I am binding together the things that I would like to keep all in one place– symbolic photos, images, my own theories, words by other people which I hold dear (like some words of my favorite ancient writers), of course the original poems in the first edition will be there as well as some new ones that haven't been seen before! It's like a field guide because I've included things that I really want to be able to go back to and remind myself of. The photos were chosen from hundreds of images, so I'm certain that they are exquisitely expressive of those sentiments I want to convey! I'm still not sure when the release date will be, I'm waiting to see a right time for that, at the moment I'm still perfecting the mold! Thank you all, for joining me on this journey which is so wretched at times yet so sweet in the end! A labour of love, indeed! 










xx





C. JoyBell C. dot com

I just want to share something and rather briefly. I have recently been humbled in the light of the realization of my great ignorance! I am not knowledgable in many things, and this is a good thing to realize!



When it comes to ancient civilization, all along I had thought that the most ancient of civilizations is China, with Greece following close behind. I thought that the French were the most cultured of people and that the Roman empire was overthrown due to internal disease and crumbling!



I didn't know anything about Bulgaria! In fact, all the things I heard about Bulgaria which I believed to be fact, were actually all lies spewed by what I think is envy! The truth is, before all other nations in Europe even had a capital city, Sofia, the capital city of Bulgaria, already existed! Along with the capital city of Greece– they were the only two in existence before all the rest of Europe! That's a very humbling thing to realize, given the fact that I thought France was so culturally "well-cooked"! It's also a humbling thing to learn that the Bulgarian language is equally difficult as Greek, to learn! If not more difficult! I once believed that the Greek language was the cradle of all language, but when we look at the Cyrillic script, first developed by the Bulgarian Empire, we can see quite plainly that it is the mother of the Russian language and all of her diminutives in the world today, including the Slavic languages! Therefore, the Bulgarian Empire is responsible for many of the most difficult languages of the world! Which makes the French language begin to look weak! And the Greek language no longer unparalleled!



I also discovered that the fall of Rome (well, one theory of the fall, as there are many theories of how it came to be) was due to a Bulgarian gladiator! That was back when they were not yet called Bulgarians, but Thracians! I uncovered the fact that Plovdiv, the city of seven hills, in Bulgaria, is 8 THOUSAND years old! EIGHT THOUSAND years ago, Plovdiv was already a thriving culture! That dampens my once lofty opinions of Chinese civilization at 5 thousand years! Plovdiv even has it's own Roman ampitheatre and Roman stadium! It is said that every European ruler who visited Plovdiv didn't want to leave, and left their marks on the city, making a locale that bears the fingerprints of many of the greatest empires.



All I have heard is that people have opinions of the Bulgarians as being "barbarians", meanwhile, the Bulgarians are the ones who have the right to call everyone else barbarians! But then that is culture at it's finest– that it has flew high above the immature levels of name-calling! I am frustrated by the fact that we know so much about the French culture, the Greek culture, the Italian culture, the Spanish culture, the English culture, while possessing such little knowledge of the Bulgarian people! We are bombarded with French and Italian publicity all the time! Yet we remain so ignorant of the Bulgarians! What are they like? Do they dance like the Spanish dance? Do they bake like the French bake? Do they have temples as the Greeks have temples? What is their literature like? Their pottery and their crafts? So many answers are unknown to our modern minds, about this most ancient civilization that is today still thriving and rising! It is not a dying culture, but far from that, it is a nation on the rise! It seems odd that these people wouldn't feel the need to bombard the rest of the world with "what they are all about", when they have been around here for so long already! But like I said, perhaps when culture reaches  the highest levels of finesse, there is a lack of the need to brag and boast, to advertise oneself and throw oneself into everyone else's faces! And now I feel like throwing a French cake into someone's face just to express my frustration over my ignorance! I feel like saying "Here! Take all of your cakes, and I'm tired of wearing all your perfume made in Paris!"






“I thought to myself: I am wiser than this man; neither of us probably knows anything that is really good, but he thinks he has knowledge, when he has not, while I, having no knowledge, do not think I have.”

― Plato, Apology









Plovdiv, Bulgaria






Sofia's subway system (Sofia, Bulgaria)








Sofia, Bulgaria

Caithness dialect is a language that, until recently while working on my second edition of The Sun Is Snowing which is entitled: The Sun Is Snowing: Poems, Parables and Pictures, I didn't even know existed! It is a Scottish dialect made up of ancient languages like Pictish and Norn! I especially like the language called "Pictish" as it has me imagining that it is a language spoken by all pixies! How divine! Anyway, the Caithness dialect sounds like a heavily-accented English, and has been watered-down through the ages because throughout history, according to my Scottish friend David Shand, the children were taught in school never to speak the local language, but only to speak English! In fact, if the children spoke the local languages in school, a sheep's skull would be tied around their necks to humiliate them! By jove! 




Anyway, you can find out why I needed to learn about the Caithness dialect for my second edition TSIS book, when you get your own copy of it! In the meantime, it is my pleasure introducing you to this language, and I feel honored to be able to share this dialect with so many people who also probably haven't ever heard about it, in their lives! I am an advocate and admirer of ancient language, so this is a thrill for me to do! Enjoy the poem below! 








Div ye mind yer Kaitness hoosie

(Taken from the book: Caithnessian Poems and Plays by John Horne.

As shared with me by David Shand.)




Div ye mind yer Kaitness hoosie wi its wheezy but and ben,

A dowgie sleepin by e' fire, aside a clockin hen;

A dresser set wi bowlies, an a bandbox on a kist,

A cowgie fu o sooans, an' a stoolie wi' a list?

Div ye mind, boy Eh? Div ye mind?




Div' ye mind e' greasy grunter wi' his muckle flappan loogs,

An e' chuckens fechtin roond ye for e' sweelans o' e' moogs?

A slated blockie, on a bool, spread dryan in e sun,

While e duekies trail'd his heid-piece roond and roond e' byre for fun

Div ye mind, boy Eh? Div ye mind?




Div' ye mind e' Knotty Club wi its game and ragged band,

Fa's clubs wis bandaged kail-runs or anything at hand?

Noo and then a tae wis opened wi' a whistle fae e' ba',

An e' linin o' a pockad wis pit roond it wi' a straw.

Div ye mind, boy Eh? Div ye mind?




Div ye mind e' whitened lirkie wi' its mooldy, earthy scent,

An e' blinkin faces roond ye, tryan hard til look intent?

On e' blessed Bible pages, ye drew sheep and stirkies lean,

An ye cut initials in e' pew fan "Thirdly" shut his een.

Div ye mind, boy Eh? Div ye mind?




Div ye mind e' jolly schooldays fan ye trowed till play "Skyhigh"

And ye tumbled in a burnie, and skelpt aboot til dry?

Bit yir mithir spread ye on her lap an' exercised her han',

Then chicked ye in yur baba 'cause ye wisna fit till stan'

Div ye mind, boy Eh? Div ye mind?




Dive ye mind e' day ye traivelled wi yur faither in a cairt,

Far fae hoosie, kirk and burnie, in e' world til act yir pairt?

Hoo ye turned an looked an looked again, wi a prayer in yeer face,

An vowed til play e' man and bring them no disgrace?

Div ye mind, boy Eh? Div ye mind?