C. JoyBell C.'s Blog, page 51

Skin Deep

(February 28, 2012)



Is skin deep really "just" skin deep? Or should we be saying "Yes, it is skin deep!" with our chins up firm and proud? Not "Oh it's only skin deep" with our heads bowed as if we are something embarrassing! Why is skin deep just skin deep, when our skin is what binds together our heart and mind and soul? Our skin is our vehicle on this journey we call life, our skin is our home on this planet we inhabit called earth, our skin is what allows us to interact with other people, to feel things like tenderness and pain, softness and roughness, warmth and cold, pleasure and ecstasy! Without our skin, we would not be able to fulfill our destinies on this journey of life! Without the things that are skin deep, we would be dead– unable to interact with the world, unable to learn, to grow, to experience, to walk on the path of destiny! So if beauty is skin deep, is this less of a thing? Why is it not called vanity when they choose to shun that which makes us human, because they think it is not "deep" enough, it is not "worthy" enough? Isn't this the true vanity? Didn't Satan want to become greater than God? He wanted to become God, not man! Where is the vanity in embracing what makes man; man? What is vain in fully becoming a vessel divine? Is it less than divine to recognize one's destiny? One's humanity? Or is it less divine to shun the nature of what it means to live on this earth, thinking that it is not good enough?





People die, because they don't look at their bodies as something worthy enough. They see their bodies as something less worthy of God, when it is God who molded the flesh with His own hands! And so they allow their bodies to fall and fail, thinking this purifies their souls! They don't want to care about what their bodies look like on the outside, because they have little respect for the natural physical attraction between humans, in pursuit of something "higher." I tell you, you must not rip apart a person by dividing body and soul, you are a soul, it is your honor to redeem your body, to never neglect it! To ravish in it and allow it to ravish in all good things!




There is a culture that permeates many places on earth, and that is the culture of materialism, and the body of people who live with such a culture have developed "white blood cells" to fight this invader. The "white blood cells" tell people they are "shallow" they are "vain" and though the mission is correct, the execution is wrong. Materialism has birthed minds that grow into an existence unaware of the nature of the soul, of the essence of the spirit; and raises up a nation of people that have no connection with their own hearts. This is a blindness, this is not a vanity. And blindness cannot be treated by misguided virtue. It's only an awakening that will lead the blind to sight.



People must not be led to death in their quest for true life. Right now, people fall into the way of death and depravity, because of their quest for a higher form of existence.




It's a curious and funny thing when people say "The inside of a person is what matters, because outer beauty will fade, but it's the character and personality of a person that will never change." I laugh. In my experience, I have seen a person remain with the same face for a very long time but change in character many times! Not just one person, many people! All people change their character! In fact, people are never the same person for forever, and if there is such a person on earth, that person is a very rare artifact indeed! And quite boring I would imagine! I have had a friend today become an enemy tomorrow! I have never had a beautiful friend today become an old hag tomorrow! All people change on the inside, you just never know what they might become next!





Copyright © 2012 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

I was taught that I would be better off desiring joy instead of happiness because joy is divine while happiness is vain. On this plight, I gave up many a chance to be simply happy, as I waited for the more worthy of the two; joy. But then I grew into my own and now I know that it is vain to think oneself too good for earthly things and only accept what is of higher origins. There is no vanity in allowing yourself to become happy, because though happiness is fleeting, it can be found every single day and in all the smallest and most unexpected ways! So now I allow myself to be happy, little insignificant things make me laugh, make my soul fly! If this is vanity, then I am vain and I wish to remain vain! But surely, this is something so divine.



– C. JoyBell C.

It's definitely difficult being a woman and growing up a girl. When you're graceful, people say you lack personality; when you're serene, people say you're boring; when you're confident, people say you're arrogant; when you're feminine, people say you're too girly; and when you climb trees, people say you're too much of a tomboy! As a woman, you really need to develop a very strong sense of self and the earlier you can do that, the better! You have to be all the things that you are, without allowing other people's ignorance change you! I realized that they don't know what grace is, they can't identify serenity, they have inferiority complexes, they are incapable of being feminine, and they don't know how to climb trees!



– C. JoyBell C.

The Hollywood culture (and all of its diminutives around the globe) are a sort-of disease in the hearts of men and women.



The quickest way to rub scum onto your mind is to tune in to "celebrity gossip" channels, and that's not because movie stars and other forms of celebrities are bad people, it's not because they're scum and trash and not-as-good-as-the-rest-of-mankind; but the trash that pollutes your mind comes from the fact that you are watching the personal lives and the characters of people being exploited, twisted, manipulated, bargained-for, assassinated, stepped-on, sold, and lied about. It is the same thing as sitting in the Colosseum of ancient Rome and watching the lions tear apart human beings limb from limb, we think that modern day society has evolved into something better, but actually the modern day society is what has always been, yet packaged differently. The only thing that's changed is the packaging, the formula is similar. Almost identical. Yes, the Roman Emperor fed people to the lions for not only his own pleasure but also for the pleasure of his court and I am not even sure if he made any money off it! Today, it is networks, showbiz companies, t.v. stations, producers, agents, etc. that are throwing human flesh out there for the rest of us to devour, making them a whole lot of money in the process, and it is this process that is communicated to us subtly through our senses and makes us feel corrupted. I feel corrupted when I watch TMZ. I feel corrupted when I watch Entertainment Tonight. I'm the one who feels defiled. Think of it for a moment, if you were in the Colosseum watching human flesh being torn apart in front of you, wouldn't you feel corrupted? Wouldn't you take a long hard look at your humanity and say "I feel vile." It's not the people down there in the ring that are the cause of this, but it's the place that you have put yourself into, it's the state of existence, the area in which you are making yourself a part of. It has been introduced to you, and you are there being defiled by it.



I don't care much about the whole thing. I don't want to know who is sleeping with who and I don't want to know why Penthouse is better than Playboy. I'm not interested in celebrities apart from the roles that they play in the movies that I enjoy watching. I'm not interested in celebrities apart from the songs that they sing which I love to listen to. A minor amount of interest? Yes, because these people are human beings and I have an interest in the human being. But, you know, I don't care. I don't care, because these people don't care about me! I want to care about those who care about me! Those who can affect my life! I'm interested in what my aunt is doing for the weekend, I'm not interested in what a movie star has for breakfast! Why should I be more interested in what a celebrity has eaten for breakfast, than what a family member is doing for the weekend? Why do people choose to give devotion to those who don't play any role in their lives whatsoever? Who don't even know they exist!



Of course, there are definitely individuals who shine very brightly and affect our lives through the influence that they wield whether it be through their words, their manner of dress, the roles they have played, the talent that they possess, etc. We cherish these people. There are products of Hollywood that I cherish, as well. People like Elizabeth Taylor and Leslie Caron. Grace Kelly. But that is a whole entirely different state of mind; it is opposed to the "trade of human flesh and emotions." To admire is a positive thing, to love and to cherish, to adore. But that is not what is cultivated in the mainstream fanfare of Hollywood and its copycats.



The true tragedy occurs when the people in the ring waiting for the lions to emerge from the dens and devour them are actually thinking "Wow, I'm so famous! This is it! I'm worth something now!" and its when that happens, that you can be sure there is something not very right going on! This is why you see such a struggle! It is a struggle between the delusively deceived mind and the soul that knows being in that ring is somewhere it doesn't want to be!



xx

My son came home from school yesterday (Valentine's Day) and, with an outstretched arm, handed me a long-stemmed white rose. There were two ribbons tied around the stem, a red ribbon and a violet ribbon. The rose hung it's head and looked worn and torn after a long day in his backpack at school. Honestly surprised, I hugged him and thanked him, I told him that I love him and I asked him to tell me all about the rose. He told me how the student council was selling roses for Valentine's Day, so he bought one and garnished its stem with the two ribbons used to wrap some chocolates that he bought at school. "Did you buy other roses to give to girls at school that you like?" I asked him. "No, I only had enough money to buy one rose, so I had to make up my mind who to give it to."



I can say no more.



I love my son so very dearly.


















Next Valentine's Day, I'll make sure he has more money with him, so he can also give roses to any girls/girl that he likes.

xx

You should feel free to change the name of your protagonist while writing a story. You should feel free to change anyone's name, in your story! Sometimes you name a character and as the story progresses you realize that the name doesn't belong to the person, but belongs to someone else (or is too closely associated with your own name- or too closely associated with you for some other reason- for you to feel confident that you can write out the story without too much attachment to the character), and it's just fine to change the name. I think that we should ALL feel free to change our names when we wish to! Afterall, we didn't pick our names out for ourselves, now did we? And everything else in life relies on our own choices, our own decisions, we never die the same person that we were born as! So we should all be able to name ourselves as we like to! Sobeit with the characters in the stories that we write!



I believe in maintaining a healthy detachment from one's protagonists (main characters in written stories). You don't want to fall into the character too much but you also don't want to fall out of the character too much. You want to be so much a part of the character that you can feel the way he/she breathes, but in that very same heartbeat you want to be able to immediately detach yourself at any given time and say "That's her, this is me" or "That's him, this is me." The easiest way to do that is to use names not too closely associated with yourself but at the same time ones that are meaningful enough to mean something!



xx

Upon the completion of my novella, right away I realized that my book would be more appreciated by men rather than women. And I'm not very sure right now if that's a fact, but so far men have many good things to say about my novella. See, in my novella one can't find any confessions of everlasting love à la the Twilight Saga's Edward and Jacob. Nobody's dying at anyone's feet and promising eternal devotion. In fact, I don't even say "dating" or "in a relationship" or "boyfriend" or "she fell in love with him" or "he fell in love with her." My own editor (who was a woman) asked me after reading my manuscript "What is the relationship between Pierre-Auguste and Lucy?" Because in my story, I use the written word to express the process of love, to convey the process of passion. And in real life, more often than not, words so divine usually go unheard and unspoken! Rather, we pick up these things through body language, through our vision, through our senses, and that makes these things, these experiences, more real! More true! It's ironic that I use words to show that words are just words and it's something else that is more genuine. But that's what I did. And my protagonist, my heroine Lucy, she's not the girl who waits for the guys to profess their unwavering and unfaltering desires for her! No, she goes about things on her own terms! And I don't think she'd like it any other way! And so, to wrap this up, what I'm saying is that women more often than men, want to hear the words "you are my girlfriend", "I will love you unto the ends of the earth", "I will never leave you", while men really don't want to put a period at the end of the sentence. Men want to go through the process of experiencing something without it necessarily having to fall into a criteria. And Lucy didn't need things to fall into a criteria for her, she wanted what it was! And what it was, was real! So, I think that *generally, my novella doesn't satisfy the fantasies of women, but it's realistic, and my characters live by their own terms. And I think men are created in a way to find that intriguing, interesting, and a journey that's unforgettable.



xx



‎*I say generally, because there are women who also genuinely appreciate my novella, Saint Paul Trois Châteaux:1948.

"Because..." he used to cradle his daughter in his arms every morning and often they would exchange soft nuances "...if you can dream it, if you can see it in your visions at night, if you can feel it in your soul, it's yours! And it never really belonged to anyone else, in the first place! It was always yours!" Viera returned her scroll to the drawer and closed it, she kissed the compass around her neck and climbed into her bed under the warm quilts, the candle flame crackled and the memories of her father's arms around her embraced her there in bed and his deep, hoarse voice resounded in her ears; "... and if you chance upon a treasure that is yours and it happens to be in the possession of someone else, it's not very wrong to take what is yours, to take what you dreamed, what you saw in your visions at night, what you felt visit you in your spirit! Sure, it's not lawful, but aye aye my little one, listen to me when I tell you that the best things in life are not under the laws of any sort! For which law created love? Which law created courage? The best things, the real things, are the things that are not measured by any man's laws! Fear is the only thing that any law has ever created! And what kind of pirates would we all be if we were afraid of any of our fears, even a little!"



Copyright © 2012 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.



– Captain Thomas Tew (Words of the highly revered and unforgotten pirate, Captain Thomas Tew, the famous and courageous privateer-turned-pirate of the 16'th century. An excerpt from the unpublished novel, Tales Of A Pirate's Daughter, a fiction novel gleaned from the pages of history where the true-to-life Captain Thomas Tew can now be found!)

(Excerpt from) Tales Of A Pirate's Daughter





We are all born the masters of our own shoreline; we're born on a shoreline and this shoreline belongs to us, we have an ocean in front of us that belongs to us, as well! And this is our shoreline, and this is our ocean.



I have realized that for too long in my life, I have allowed people to extend their own shorelines far into mine, moving far inland, pushing my borders into a thin, almost-invisible line and I have been standing in one spot for too long, afraid to move here, afraid to move there; for fear of stepping beyond these other people's borders! But I have learned that this is my shoreline, and that–that is my ocean! These are my waves to master, my coast to defend! I have learned that my life consists of swimming in my ocean and digging up treasures (and burying treasures) on my land! Nobody has the right to move his or her own horizon beyond my horizon! They don't have the right to push their borders beyond my own! I will swim in my ocean, I will defend my land, I will build ships on my shore, fly in my sky, soar in my Heaven, and I will sail the ships that I build, I will sail into my ocean! And when I want, I will swim! I will swim as much as I want!



I have this life, and while I have it, I'd better not let anyone try to impede on it, I'd better not let anyone attempt to conquer it, and I'd better not let anyone trespass into it! The horizons of others can only stretch as far into mine as I allow them to. The boundaries of other people can only reach as far beyond my own as I allow them to. I will start walking; I will not stay anymore in this one spot! And as I walk, their borders will shrink back, as I wade in the water, their boundaries will fall asea, and as I swim and sail and fly, they will have to accept their own realities while keeping themselves out of mine!



We are not born to rent out our coast, our shoreline, our sea, our ocean, our skies, our Heaven, we are not born as sacrifices! We are not born for the benefit of others, we are born for the benefit of ourselves. We are given this ocean for us to swim in, we are given this sky for us to fly into, we can plant trees, or we can cut trees! We can bury treasure or we can dig up treasure! We can construct bridges or we can destroy them! We can sail in ships or we can swim! We can fly with our wings or we can fly on our dreams! We can do anything we want to do, we can be anyone we want to be, we can be who we are. We can have what is ours, and we can keep it! We don't have to give it away.



I am going to be me, and I seek no shoreline to conquer, I seek no horizon to impede upon. I have my own! And no one can impose upon it; nobody can desecrate me.



~ Micah Tew



(A handwritten diary entry by Michala "Micah" Tew, the protagonist and heroine of my unpublished novel entitled Tales Of A Pirate's Daughter; the story of a pirate's daughter, set in the 1600's)



Copyright © 2012 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.

Grace

(February
1, 2012)




Behold
the waterfall!

She
springs forth!

Budding
and sprouting

Like
a deep spring of eternal waters

Breaking
free to the surface of the earth

For
the first time.

Fervently,
Serenely, Calmly

Unstoppable,
Fresh, Vibrant

The
water breaks and buds forth

And
falls from the crown of this cliff




Long
stemmed roses of all colors

Burst
forward in ferocious beauty and gentleness!

They
merge together in torrents,

Long
thornless stems crowned with brilliantly colored petals!

Cascading
as they do this fall, this downward dance

Down
the drop, intertwined in the water;

A
loose braid of aqua and long-stemmed roses

Erupting
and dropping together.

Imagination
is void of the natural occurrence of this

Unnatural,
Unlikely




Look
again now!

The
water has evaporated!

And
left are the roses piled up like boulders!

In
the parched stream that has run dry, lie piles of thornless roses!

What
is the meaning of this?

Unfading,
everlasting roses on a thirsty ground?

Is
the meaning of this I see

A
frightful one?

This
unnatural occurrence, this otherworldly reality

What
is the meaning?




This
is grace







Copyright © 2012 C. JoyBell C. All rights reserved.