Evan Sanders's Blog, page 100

In the front yard of my house there is a beautiful magnolia tree that climbs roughly forty feet into the sky. Its branches are naked towards the trunk but as they stretch out they are full of leaves and during the spring, blooming white flowers. It truly is a beautiful tree. I have always loved climbing this tree.

I was probably 16 when I decided for the fun of it to tie a rope around one of the lower branches to make it easier to get up into the thick of it. So I climbed up, tied a rope around a sturdy branch, and climbed back down to test it out. I pulled on it a few times – seemed perfectly fine. The only thing to do next was commit. So up I went.

About halfway up the 10 foot climb the sturdy rope made a funny sound. Riiiiipppp. Down I went. Smack! I fell right onto the ground perfectly flat on my back. The breath was completely knocked out of me. I just laid there…motionless. When I finally gained my breath back, all I could do was groan in pain.

After 10 minutes I finally got back up, grabbed the broken piece of rope that had fallen with me but landed in the shape of a smile, had a few choice words with it and threw it back at the tree in disgust.

I just stood there looking up at that magnolia…

So I took a deep breath, jumped up, grabbed a branch, pulled myself up and climbed all the way to the top to enjoy the view of the yard.

When you fall, get back up and try again. Persistence will yield you results. Don’t be interested in achieving something. Be committed. Don’t let the fear of failure paralyze you from achieving your dreams. Climb back up that tree no matter what.

Your Life. Your choice. So what do you say?

- Evan Sanders

When I set out on my path to start writing seriously and I started gaining followers and attention, I knew that I had to revisit my purpose for writing and why I put my thoughts down here every day. Initially, it was just to spill my heart out on the paper, but as I found that people were relating to what I was doing, I had to make a decision to stand for something greater. So I set out to not only cure my heart but to inspire other people to live powerful, bold, and kickass lives. But even further, I wanted to give people courage during those times of darkness. If there was anything I could say that would heal the wounds in someone…I knew I had to put it down on paper. I have done that for another, and the review below of my book “The Better Man Project” touches my heart because I truly understand and know what I have done for another with my writing. This makes it all worth it for me…and I will continue writing till the end.

“What can I say about this book. It changed my life.

I was at a point in my life where I felt so down and low of the person I was and who I became. I decided something needed to change and googled “become a better man” and as if by fate brought to Evan Sanders blog. I was intrigued and as I continued reading his post I became inspired. I then saw that he published a book and without a 2nd guess I bought it.

Within 3 days I burned through the book, I highlighted more than I ever did in any textbook or other book I have read. I felt connected with Evan.

Let me first say I have read books such as The Secret and 7 Highly Effective Habits around the same time but this book is something else. Maybe its the simplicity, or the rawness of it but there is a special spark about Evan.

I felt as reading his stories, his words, and seeing him grow on his own journey that I was growing too. I was learning about Evan but even more so I was learning about myself. His words are expressed so thoughtfully I felt I was having a one on one conversation with him and even feel like Evan is a friend of mine even though I never met him.

I can write forever all the lessons I learned but I am telling you if you’re in a bad place, if your unsure of what to do with life, if you want to better yourself, or even if you want just a daily dose of enlightenment don’t hesitate to buy this book and read it. To this day I go back and read at least one passage to never stop learning these lesson.

I can’t wait to see what is to come from Evan Sanders.”

If you are interested in me rocking your socks off, check out my book http://amzn.to/18lRIci on Amazon, or you can find it at any other online retailer. Jump on the train now…by the time I peace out, I hope there will be 25 books written by me on The Better Man Project.

- Evan Sanders

I finally made it. All moved in to my place in downtown LA. An opportunity to start fresh and create whatever I want to. It’s an incredible feeling really…walking the streets and not knowing anyone. But as I have said before, from nothing…you can create everything. And that is why I am so excited about this opportunity. We can get stuck in our habits and daily routines…but when you remove yourself from the normal, good lord do those things go right out the window. Might be a solid argument for the effects of nature on our mind? I think so.

So what am I up to? Well, besides running the online presence for a new technology startup which I will announce soon (you will like it…just think Yelp + LinkedIn for complex products) and helping my roommate, an up and coming rapper with his social media game…I am here to create something big. To take everything I have been doing and 5 up it. Needless to say, I am on a mission. It is time to explore not only the area I am in, but what I am actually capable of. I feel like I have built myself a solid foundation…so lets start painting the walls with brilliant color.

This road we travel is a long one, but around each bend…incline and decline, we find new things about our heart that we never knew existed before. If we allow it, we can let life’s energy bloom within us and help us transcend into something that we couldn’t have dreamed up. So soak in it. The challenges and the victories. Open yourself to opportunity. Hell, that is why I am even here in the first place. Because I kept myself open and lightning struck. If that isn’t my life’s motto then I don’t know what is.

“Stay open, who knows? Lightning could strike.” – Meet Joe Black

Remember…know what you stand for…stand for what you stand for…and aim to make everyone around you the best as well as yourself. I think that’s a formula I can live by.

- Evan Sanders

My book will rock your socks off and ignite your soul http://amzn.to/18lRIci
Join me on Twitter http://bit.ly/Z0zCq9 and FB http://on.fb.me/RC57QW)

I left the room

Away from the party

Away from my friends

And sat down on the bed

Warmth came over me

As I rested my head on His shoulder

Sheets brilliant white

No face

No figure

But safety

Warmth…like I said before

Soul heating energy

Like sitting on seat warmers in the car after a long day of skiing

But even more than that

And as I laid there

I asked

So you mean to tell me there’s…

“Of course there are.”

So you mean to tell me there’s…

“Yeah, they pop up every once in a while.”

So you mean to tell me there’s…

“I think you know the answer to that question Evan.”

And then the conversation went silent

But I was still asking questions in my head

And question after question was answered

And life as I saw it flashed

Event after event

All came to the front of the stage

No pain

No suffering

Just clarity

At this point –  I understood

It was clear

I woke up to tears streaming down my face

Warmth despite my wet hands wiping my eyes

Forever changed

Forever warm

- Evan Sanders

Make the decision

Let pain and hurt burn in your heart

Or set a spark

And light the love in you

It doesn’t burn

It glows

You can spend your time convincing yourself that it should be this way or that way

Justify your way

Sell it to yourself logically

You could never leave without saying goodbye

In fact, you could never just leave

You wouldn’t

You couldn’t

You wont

Doesn’t matter what happened

Everyone has a part to play

You are a man of love

And what makes you “you” is your ability to bite your ego and let the words of compassion sing

Mistakes will always be made

People will crash your trust

Split honesty with half truths

Quarter your heart

But you recover

Set a spark

And love deeper

It heals all cracks and splinters

- Evan Sanders

Effort…is between you…and you

No one else will truly know how much you gave it today

They only see what you are doing at the moment

And that is how they make their judgements

If you are going to give them something to judge, make it great

Shake up the world

But it still comes down to you

And how much you have in the tank

How much you can step down on the gas

You have to ask yourself

Is this my best?

If it is

One up yourself

If it isn’t

Rise

At the end of the day, only you look in the mirror

And the eyes staring back at you tell you the truth

Each day you have an opportunity to rise to the occasion

Go beyond your previous limits

Crush mental barriers

Hurdle emotional obstacles

Run through the physical pain

Only you have the power to do that

Sure someone may motivate you for a while

But true change comes from within

That is where the magic is

That is how you explode into the atmosphere

Rise to the occasion

- Evan Sanders

500 days of writing. I think it just hit me. Wow. I wonder how many words that is? Well lets see…Average of 700 words per post…woah. So what the hell have I learned from all of this? I have learned two incredibly important lessons that are much greater than all the rest. Of course I have been able to look at myself each and every day with critical yet accepting eyes and morph myself into the person I wanted to be all those years ago. But there is even a lesson in that. Being able to see yourself for exactly who you are and exactly who you aren’t. But let me get into it.

 

1. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Never. Give up.

I have failed so many times at my goals. Life got to me. Procrastination got to me. Emotions. Fear. But I think we can all agree that most often…”I” got to me. I sabotaged many of the goals for reasons that may never be clear to me. However, I never gave up. I kept  chipping away and tried to find ways to do it differently the next time. That, is one of the most important lessons that I learned. That no matter how many times you fail, keep going. “Fail your way to success” Les Brown says. “Even a broken clock is right two times a day.”

In the face of the “Black dog” as Winston Churchill would call it (those incredibly dark days) we have the ability to either see the worst in life or try to see the light…those stars shining above our heads. I know that I write a lot about positivity and about what it takes to motivate yourself, but in all honesty, and I think you know this already, I have had my share of dark days. A quick FYI, today is a quote day for me. Carl Jung said, “The brighter the light the darker the shadow.” We must all learn that as the sun goes up, it must also come down…and that our days will not always be adorned in beams of light. There will be dark days. Very dark days. But if you focus too much on the fact that you can’t exactly see where you are going, you will never take a step. Sometimes, taking a step in any direction is better than freezing in place.

Make mistakes. If you are too busy trying to look good or too afraid to look bad, you become this robot. A robot that tries to please everyone because you believe that is where happiness is holding up. Pleasing everyone is actually what will make you unhappier than anything else. Not because of the smiles that you land on other people’s faces, but because of the lack of identity you have within yourself. You end up trying to morph yourself into something that everyone else will like instead of being you – authentically and uniquely you. So if I have learned anything over the past 500 days…it is to piss some people off. Garner a group of haters. Because if you are putting yourself out there for the world to see and trying to make the biggest impact you can, you are bound to find some people who uninterested in you and hate you for no reason. Don’t take that personally. Instead, understand that it is part of the game, and that in fact, you are playing the game right. Make your mark on the world.

“If you want to be a maverick or a true original, you have to break some of the rules.” – Schwarzenegger

2. Love unconditionally

This by far has been the greatest lesson I have learned…and it has by far been the hardest one to learn. I have found that life has a very very interesting way of making everything happen all at once or nothing happen at all. That being said, shit can really hit the fan and then it can get extremely quiet. Let me look at both.

Shit hitting the fan. The way that I have been able to maintain composure under extreme amounts of pressure is actually to succumb to the pressure itself. I used to fight it. Scratch and claw my way out of it any way I could. But after reading a passage from Bruce Lee, yes here comes another quote, I figured out that I could be much more effective in life by being molded by the situations life threw at me instead of fighting back. Maybe you are familiar with this one…but be water my friend.

“Empty your mind. Be formless. Shapeless. Like water. If you put water in a bottle it becomes the bottle. If you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Water can flow…and water can crash. Be water my friend.” – Bruce Lee

This mentality changed how I saw things. Become the situation. Instead of running from fear, grab fear by the collar, throw it in your car and take it for a ride. Immerse yourself in what life gives you…it is a gift not a curse. Life has the ability to give you exactly what you need when you need it despite what your current thoughts on the situation is. Don’t complain. Soak it in. Appreciate it. Flow. Crash.

When it gets very quiet: Sometimes people are taken away from you without reason or explanation. Sometimes you have to leave those who are tearing you down in life. During this time, things get very very quiet. I mean…dead quiet. Contact from others goes down. Communication with the outside world somehow silences. And it’s just you and you. This time though is there for a reason. It is there to get you to start listening to that voice inside you, the one that knows where you want to go and has been trying to direct you to that place. That voice encourages you, supports you, and believes in you. If you tune in and stop focusing on how quiet things are, you might just figure out some really cool things about yourself. Every day, as I sit down to write, I tune everything out and listen to the patter of the keys on the keyboard. As the first key hits, I hear that voice…and off I go.

Those moments of silence though can be brutal if your life isn’t “clean.” That internal voice instead of being motivating continues to remind you of everything that you have done and all the current bad karma you have going on in your life. If you hit this point, clean everything up. Apologize, make amends, and sweep up the past. The punishment will go away.

500 days of writing has taught me much more than this, but those are the two biggest lessons I have learned. Never ever give up and love people unconditionally. Love them for exactly who they are and exactly who they aren’t. And also, love yourself.

- Evan Sanders

I sit here and know that there is something special and different about this day. Years ago, I started writing, exactly like I am doing here right now, with the intention of putting down my thoughts for 30 days and trying to become a better man. Each time I read my book (http://amzn.to/13MH39d) this year to edit, I was reminded of that first month of confused honesty and from where I once began. I remember the anxiousness I would have, one that still exists, when I knew I was ready to write something down. Whether it was happiness, pain, confusion, or motivation…I would still sit down at my desk and put my heart on the line. I remember those days…in fact, I remember the past 499 days of writing clearly. Any post could be brought to my attention and I could tell you what was going on in my life at that time and why I wrote what I did. I don’t know if that’s normal, but that leads me into this post and what I want to talk about today.

That’s right. Normality is the most commonly traveled path to mediocrity. And for me, mediocre is precisely what I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be second place…third place…top 10. No, I want to be the best at something. And I am starting to figure out what that something is. And here’s the thing, you have to do things outside your comfort zone to even possibly start to understand what “your best” looks like. And when you get to that point, you must start reinventing yourself again, and again, and again…and do the things that other people will not do…so you can become a person and maverick like no one else has ever seen. The Better Man Project has taught me that lesson over and over emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It has taught me how much work it actually takes to improve your life. Trust me, it’s rough. Developing standards for yourself and living up to them can be exhausting at times. But those standards came deep within your heart and they are part of your internal plan on how to become a champion. You can’t ignore them.

500 days of writing. It blows my mind a bit. But it closes a very long chapter in my life and has given me the opportunity to write a completely new story off of the one that I am very proud of. I am proud of where I have been, how far I have come, and how much my life has changed for the better. It was grueling at times, but I suffered through those times and turned out on top. If you suffer the pain of sacrifice today, you will feel the warmth of victory tomorrow.

So what can you look for from me in the next 500 days. Innovation and reinvention are coming. Change is going to be present. The launching of an incredible journey. There will be an ongoing push to achieve this dream that I have. And for a good reason I am not telling you what it is. I am going to show you.

- Evan Sanders

 

“Expectations are the root of all heartache.” – William Shakespeare

This quote has been sitting on my desk for the past few months. I have stared at it over and over again trying to truly figure out what Shakespeare was intending when he said it. I will obviously never get that answer directly from his mouth, however, I have come to my own conclusion about what it means.

Expectations get in the way of gratitude. Gratitude for “what is.”

To be in the moment and appreciate of that moment is one of the most important things there is. We can get very caught up in living in the past or in the future, two places where we can actually never go. However, if we truly give thanks for what is going on in our lives right now, then the world is at our fingertips. We appreciate the gifts we have been given, the people around us, and are truly able to put our hearts into our passions.

But let me get real with you for a minute. If you expect anything out of people, situations, and events…you are going to end up with your heart-broken. Nothing will ever be good enough for you. You will constantly be disappointed that things didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to. I’ve been there. Lose your expectations. Get rid of them. Start enjoying life. Enjoy life for its unpredictable beauty. Stop thinking you have some sort of control over it all. You don’t. It is pretty much out of your hands.

What can you do? Give it your all. Everything you have inside of you and put it toward something positive. You will truly never know the results of your actions until they arrive. Sometimes you end up in a place completely different from you ever thought you were going  to be. But that’s the point. Life is deliciously ambiguous.

- Evan Sanders

Time to tell you a story

A long time ago I set out on a journey

Pack in hand

Clueless

Scared

In pain

But eager

I had a story that I had told many times

One that I was becoming much more familiar and comfortable with

That story was told in many different ways

Tales of love and heartbreak

Passion and procrastination

The times that fear consumed me and the moments where I ate it for breakfast

That story, is a story that many have heard throughout the years

And eventually I got to a place where I didn’t need to tell that story for any emotional reason

It was just a list of things that had happened

It still meant a lot to me because it was about where I was from

But it didn’t own me

Control me

Create a mess in my heart

And for a while this has been the case

I have been okay with what was considered my past

I embrace it

The dark and the light

I can speak of it without my heart skipping a beat

I love it

Even after I had hated it

And it took me going through the trials, tribulations, doubts and worries to get to that place

The place where I could embrace every single part of myself

That time is a time I will never forget

I feel whole for the first time

And now, well now I am at a place to start something

Because I have come to terms with the part of my being that was trapped

The door is now open

The light is green

So it’s time to pack again

To put on my shoes and start walking

It’s time to get lost in the wild

It’s time to take a full-hearted risk

Time to be bold

Time to turn up the passion

Time to roll around in the dirt and look towards the stars

Because you truly do not know what you are capable of

But those who do not risk going too far will never know exactly how far you could have gone

I’m willing to find that edge

To set sail for the West for the first time…fearing that the Earth is actually flat

And that I might fall off somehow

It’s time

And I’m bringing with me some of the most important things and people I can

My heart

My open mind

My family and friends

Incredibly supportive fans who drive me every day

And an attitude

One that will help drive me through everything that comes my way

So let’s get lost

Really lost

Perfectly lost

-Evan Sanders