Evan Sanders's Blog, page 102

It’s easy to get a little bit lost these days. You can have all the desire, will, and enthusiasm in the world, but if you lack a clear direct end goal and vision then all of your efforts will resemble an uncontrolled lightning storm. Now, more than ever I need to paint that picture for myself. That feeling of floating goes against every strain in my body that is searching for a magnetic direction to follow. Let’s give it that direction.

Create a new era for yourself. Embark on a journey that you could never really be “ready” for. These paths we walk down when we take our first steps are always treacherous, challenging, but in the end, life changing. The challenging part of most of the path is not finding the courage to take steps forward, but instead fighting the urge to run backwards. Back to safety. Back to “home.” But the thing is, when you know you have to leave because something greater is calling you, there is no “home” anymore. That place will never be the same if you go back because you will always have the guilt of leaving for something you were meant to leave for but you returned without the story.

If it causes your blood to start racing then you should probably do it. And for me, I have this path right in front of me that I have thought about going fully down hundreds and hundreds of times but never got past the first dragon. But it has also become very clear to me that there is no other way but to go down this path. So I am. Today. 10:45 am. And not coming back until I have a story to  tell.

- Evan Sanders

I’ve written about what you can learn from being in the gym before and I think what happened last night was a perfect confirmation of something I was taught a long time ago. The title of today’s post is Always +1 because in any  frame of life, we must try to beat our best with every new opportunity we have.

Every single set is an opportunity to break through the boundaries that had been set before in the previous set. You have a chance to regain your strength, catch your breath, wipe the sweat off your face, and try it again but do better. You have the opportunity to push through the pain to hit the number you set in your mind. And when you burn it out in the gym, you give yourself the rock solid mentality that you need to go out into the real world and achieve great things as well.

Putting on more weight isn’t simply putting on more weight. It’s not what the weight is…but what the weight says to your mind. “Oh man I haven’t done this before but I’m going to give it a shot.” That right there is entirely relevant to the gas pedal we can all press down on when it comes time to perform in our jobs, our friendships, our relationships etc. If we can teach ourselves how to challenge our minds and our body every chance we get, when it comes time to answer the call we do it instinctively. That’s what I have learned in the gym: the ability to constantly challenge myself, and if I can’t do it…then I try it next week.  Your physical body is a result of your mental strength, not the other way around.

Always get 1 more. In life, in the gym, in your efforts. You will be amazed at what you can create.

- Evan Sanders

 It was yesterday in the bottom of a squat with 350lbs on my back that I was reminded of this lesson.

It’s never too late

to be who you might have been

You’ve failed hundreds of times

to accomplish this dream

But because you failed forward

you have made progress

Just remember

even a broken clock is right twice a day

There will be pain

There will be joy

and yet both of them will pass

Motivation will come

both externally

and internally

But you must have something greater to keep going

A belief

A beat as in tune with the song that plays within your chest

That rhythm must never fade

It must never skip a beat

For there are too many things in this life that can take your focus or attention

But the thump must always be heard and answered to

Every day

for the rest of your life

Because when you die

all of your dreams die with you

and you will forever hold the regret or joy of failing or accomplishing them

So struggle through

Nothing worth it is easy unfortunately

That’s just how it all pans out

Cry through it

Yell through it

Crumble and rise

But you must always go through it

- Evan Sanders

Deep deep within there is always something that makes itself present when you need it the most. There are many different names for it, and to be honest, I have no idea what it is really. But today it came out. Today, it said, “Go ahead and start fresh…out with the old, in with the new. Let all the rest go.”

So I did.

I was reminded of the construction hat mentality that brought me so far. Believing that you are indeed a work in progress allows you to adjust course over time and make the changes you need to make. I believe that your life truly lives in your mentality of it – how you see the world and how you see yourself in it. No change will come to the man who doesn’t know in his heart that change is possible.

So the hard hat is on and I’m starting to build this puppy again. As always, life does it’s best to “life” you when you need to grow. It has never let me down. And as for the rest of it? – Thank you for the memories and the lessons you taught me…they were sweet in their own way.

- Evan Sanders

As time has gone on it has become much more clear.

Time itself is so short.

One minute you are there and the next minute you aren’t.

The “moment” that is.

The sweet spot.

The  zone.

It makes me think about the time that I have spent here

and the time that I want to spend.

Who I want to spend it with.

Where I want to spend it.

How I…

White hot and passionate.

::nodding::

There are other ways to do things.

But you just become another floorboard.

Nothing special about you.

Of course you could be made out of beautiful wood

but with all the others

you are the same.

That’s the last thing I want to be.

The same.

I chose to live my life a different way with different standards

and the yields at times have been difficult.

But in actuality it all has trained me for what is to come.

White

hot

passion

.

E

When I was young I used to spend the summer days and nights in my treehouse playing and getting lost in books. I never liked to read much when I was young, but when I had a book in my hand that was about a young boy off adventuring in the world I would get lost in the pages. But it’s not so much the books I remember, but a special moment in which I would daydream as if I was in the story and be so in peace that I would fall asleep and wake up hours later. Whatever was going on inside quickly became a placid lake and I would wake up refreshed and ready to dive back into the pages and start it all over again.

There weren’t many children around the play with, so it was always my dog and I in the yard and I would make up heroic situations in which I would save her. I guess you could say that I have had a little bit of knight-in-shining-armour syndrome since I was young. But I was taught something special throughout all these years of playing in the yard with my companion. Some might say it is the ability to entertain myself. Yes, to some extent I agree. However, I think it goes a little bit deeper than that. I think what I learned is exactly what is written in the quote above from Hooks: loving others unconditionally – for exactly what they are and exactly what they aren’t.

Now of course implementation of this message took a long while…in fact I have to say I am still learning this lesson every day and will probably have this taught to me throughout my entire life. But, without a doubt I have become more accepting of many different types of people and kept myself open to opportunities that I would have closed myself off to before. The stories of the deaf and mute man and the man with the prosthetic leg come to mind.

I know for a fact that it is in the silent moments where our internal voice becomes the loudest. We start to hear what is actually going on for a change when everything around us is drowned out. But when there is something in our stomach…guilt, anxiety, fear, doubt etc. those quiet moments can get really uncomfortable incredibly fast.

Learning how to appreciate the dead silence when no one is around is a blessing. Very special things can happen when you tune in to that voice which whispers to you your dreams and goals.

- Evan Sanders

Life resembles, for the lucky, a 100 inning baseball game.

Top of the 24th. Cleats in the dirt. Toes on the rubber. Fresh coat of eye black. Fingers across the seams. Pitch. Location. Deep Breath. Go.

“You ain’t gonna believe this, but you used to fit right here. (He gestures to the palm of his hand). I’d hold you up to say to your mother, ‘This kid’s gonna be the best kid in the world. This kid’s gonna be somebody better than anybody I ever knew.’ And you grew up good and wonderful. It was great just watchin’ you, every day was like a privilege. Then the time come for you to be your own man and take on the world, and you did. But somewhere along the line, you changed. You stopped being you. You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you’re no good. And when things got hard, you started lookin’ for something to blame, like a big shadow.

Let me tell you something you already know.The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!

Now if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that!

I’m always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You’re my son and you’re my blood. You’re the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain’t gonna have a life.”

- Rocky Balboa

 

Somewhere along the line I got lost. Lost in the woods of life. The mountain was no longer in sight and I spent my time traipsing around in the brush. A long time ago I would have regretted that experience because I thought I lost time. But I know better now. I know that the mud on my shoes and clothes is a testament to the lessons I learned. The things that I was taught during this time I know are going to be invaluable to me as I refocus and return to the mound after being hit around for a few innings. There is no price tag for the things I am about to put down on paper. It is pretty incredible how hindsight is 20-20.

As time goes on I believe in the goodness of people’s hearts. I think that there are times when we all lose focus of what truly matters in this life…and those mistakes often cost us dearly. However I was told long ago that it is the direction of our moral compass that is important. Of course we are going to lose ourselves at times and become influenced by less than desirable things when we look back at them, but we always have the opportunity to correct and refocus. During the downs it is incredibly easy to lose that confidence and excitement you had when you first took to the mound. The game goes on and life begins to life you. You miss opportunities that you should have taken, make mental mistakes in the field, and perform less than your best. You make room for the hitters who reached base to get into your head and create that knot in your stomach which will lead you to take your mind off the one thing that should be occupying it: the next pitch. Life isn’t so different from a baseball game at all. Because in this moment, there is nothing. No past. No future. Nothing to fix or change. And from nothing, you have the opportunity to create everything. So when I say, “This is it” I really mean it. This moment, the one right now, is it.

Don’t get it backwards. Thinking you are really important is not only unattractive, but actually in the scheme of things, naive. However, you don’t deserve to be treated as if you are unimportant. You have so many special gifts that the world is just waiting to see. But if you get stuck in the world of feeling bad about yourself because of other people grinding you down, then those gifts will never reveal themselves beyond a glimpse – only to remind you that they are indeed there manifested deep inside you. You deserve to be loved….but don’t forget, you must love deeply to have the world return that back to you. Because what we project out into the world eventually is returned back to us in one way or another. Don’t have any expectations of what it will look like…but in time it will come.

Believe in yourself. Believe in something greater than yourself. Believe that whatever you are right now in this moment is the starting point for the rest of your life. The innings pitched are behind you. 24 glorious innings in their own right. What did you learn from their lineup batting around a handful of times? Don’t remember the double he hit off the fence…remember the 2 pitches he swung and missed on. Go back there. Hit those locations. Have confidence in your stuff. This game of life is the finest game you can play. Sure it’s possible that one of their players may be hitting .900 off of you with runners in scoring position. You can focus on that number or you can, at bat by at bat chip away at his average until he turns into just another hitter that you have faced so many times. And this is exactly the way our fears grow within us. You can either be afraid of the fear itself or attack that fear head on. It’s your choice.

I will tell you right now that I am scared of what I am about to embark on. In fact, it has been a few months that I have been thinking about this and attempting to stick my foot in the water. There are probably a few reasons why it hasn’t gone down, reasons that I will explore at some other time, but there is one thing that I know was lacking: a declaration. So here it is. Without saying exactly what it will be…because I truly believe in showing rather than telling.

I declare it will be

You can hold me to it. Because you will be able to see it.

We can always learn from the balls and strikes we threw. But life isn’t so much about those times when you sit down and chart out your outing. Instead…life is about those moments…those 15 pitch battles where you put your best stuff up against their best player, and after foul ball after foul ball…you finally struck him out. It’s about that exhilarating feeling of being alive. Of giving it your best no matter what and the appreciation for the air you are breathing. Because when you are in the moment you are just “there.” You don’t need to be anywhere else. And this is where I intend to be in the future. I intend to be “here” and nowhere else.

- Evan Sanders

Quick note: Go to Twitter and add me. I will ignite your soul in 140 or less http://bit.ly/Z0zCq9

It dawned upon me that the measure of “man” (men&women) is not so much about how they act during the times of victory (which is still very important mind you) but who they are as a person when the sh*t really hits the fan. The true test of character comes when you are down…really down…and everything around you seems dark. Winston Churchill called this darkness “The Black Dog” and many have experienced that feeling of something lurking behind you ready to snap at any happiness that you may create for yourself. If we let it, then of course the animal will follow us…because we feed it. And in that, I am reminded of an old Cherokee Tale.

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

“One is Evil – It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

“The other is Good – It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf wins?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

It is incredibly easy to lose perspective in this world. If you turn on the TV you will see all sorts of garbage and it will leave you untrusting of what is actually being fed to you. Hate spills all out over the internet, people hide behind social media and technology, and through it all true integrity, accountability, and perspective on what truly matters in life gets completely trampled. It was in Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave” that he describes that once a man reaches the light from the pit of darkness and his eyes adjust…he will  truly understand that the only things that really matter in this world are wisdom and virtue. Because everything else is really just stuff. The things you have don’t own you. Your celebrations, your events etc…those are just things that are happening because of something inside you. The good comes with the good and the bad comes with the bad. A solid heart leads to great things happening – and visa versa.

So learn to dance in the rain. Learn to enjoy the sound of the patter on the roof of your car as you turn off the car and the radio. Sit there for a second and really listen. You can either try to avoid it…or ditch the umbrella and go out there and get soaked – and enjoy every single second of it. Because this life has so much to teach you, but don’t just look for the lessons during the good times…be aware of the fact that it is only when it is dark outside that you can appreciate the brightness of the stars.

 - Evan Sanders

I’m gonna do something
outrageous
silly
stupid
impossible
mind-blowing
nuts
never-been-done-before
bonkers
unlikely
futuristic
wacky
zany
cockamamie
groundbreaking
unreasonable
unrealistic
ridiculous
absurd
unprecedented
So…
I’m gonna do that
And things will never be the same
…
-Evan Sanders

 

The past few days have reminded me of a story I was told a long time ago.

“Evan. Not everybody plays by the same rules as you. In fact, not many will play by the same rules at all. Life is so incredibly complex. You may be standing on the pitcher’s mound and someone is in left field with a golf club running in circles. You can’t convince them that they aren’t playing the game of baseball if they believe they are. You just have to wait for the next batter to come to the plate.”

These are hard lessons to learn but they are lessons nonetheless. You have to play by the rules that you know in your heart and good and true and allow your soul to light up. It is when you focus too much on expectations that you truly set yourself up for heartache. I believe Shakespeare said something to that effect.

We all search for meaning and we truly do need companionship and love. However, I think we often forget the people who have been right there with us since the beginning…or who have joined in on the journey along the way…all ready to ride until the final day. We search for the new because it is exciting and mysterious to us. We sometimes haphazardly put ourselves out in the open without any true insight into what we are doing. And when the hurt comes, it becomes very apparent that we were only, maybe slightly, acting out of desperation for someone to incite our passion. But the truth is, that burning desire to love other people and create a magnificent life cannot be at the control of others. Relationships are so fleeting in their nature that to depend on external forces to drive your desire will only lead to a stale heart. It is the internal drive that will lead you to your wildest of dreams.

So as I see things right now, it’s time to continue digging deeper. My oh my what this life can teach you.

- Evan Sanders