Evan Sanders's Blog, page 106

It’s been a month since this happened, but it has been stuck in my head ever since. I remember it just like yesterday. You were on the phone crying for about 15 minutes, and then the words came out of your mouth – words that I haven’t  forgotten. They have been in my head ever since. You said, “Where are all the men who will make you fall in love with them every single day… Where are they?”

All I wanted to say was…they are, here.

Life is a funny thing sometimes. At least, this is what I have found being the young man at 23 years old that I am. And over the past year, I have experienced a lot of change that I could never have foreseen. In fact, those who counseled me probably didn’t see it coming the way it did either. I have always had the grand fortunate-misfortune of having most everything in my life be attracted to one end of the spectrum or another. Never really do events sit in the middle ground for me. While it does make my world exciting, it also bears the existence of the Black Dog as Churchill would call it – the deep dark lows.

School ended and lots of things changed. No longer are friends conveniently placed in close proximity to you. In fact, as soon as you walk the stage, many disappear into thin air – almost as if they were never there. I used to have a hard time dealing with this thought, but now, through years of growth, I smile at the good times.

But it sure does make you appreciate those who are still here. And that is what I am talking about today.

Genuine, undying, timeless, care and love is a hard thing to come by. Maybe people are more cynical these days – and say that this world we live in now is much harder than the one we used to (I feel like every generation gives themselves that pat on the back regretfully). But I do know one thing – today is the day and age where we can truly be ourselves and have the world react to our expression rather than changing and morphing ourselves into someone who we think others will like. We no longer live in a caveman community of 17 where creating false personas and impressions is necessary. I do believe full-heartedly, and this is coming from someone who has changed and manipulated himself in the past in every single way possible to please the crowd, that you can put your best foot forward and project your message out to the world, and eventually something great will come back to you.

I believe this. And it comes at a price.

Dont expect your message to come bouncing back to you immediately. Life does not exactly work like that perfectly shaped bouncy ball you have in your hand. In fact, it works like one that is covered in nodules – ready to explode off the ground and then the side wall without any notice. The returns on the investments you have made take time. You have to have faith that everything you are doing is for a reason and a purpose. If you can’t find either of those then why are you even doing it?

We have all fallen to the temptation of wanting the end result right now. I mean, if you’ve ever been hungry and you walk past a Cinnabon – you are pretty much screwed. But I think you know what I am getting at. If it is in your mind and in your heart then you must continue pursuing it. When your soul becomes captured by something great things can happen. Becoming a better person captured mine a long time ago, and we are nearing almost a 1,000 days of this project? I think my example sticks.

There’s a deeper reason I am writing this all down today. Besides the conversation I was having above, and the subsequent mulling of the thoughts that were running through my head for a month – I have realized that the only true thing that matters to me is to continue telling people how much I care about them and what they mean to me. It is easy to shut off that valve when you feel like there will be a shortage of water in the well – but if I know anything about myself, it’s that there is no shortage of love in this heart. Continue to give without expectation and eventually…that bouncy ball will come back and knock you in the head.

- Evan Sanders

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One day it will all bloom

I know this to be true

There will be shows

books

people

interviews

speeches

applauses

handshakes

bows

and cheers.

One day it will happen.

Today though, is what defines when that day will come.

The work I put in now will pay off later.

This is a life investment.

Even while you can imagine what the future might look like,

you have to live like today is the only day that matters.

None of us really know what is in store for us,

So what will you leave for everyone when your time is up?

A world full of love and passion?

I know I will.

A life full of fire.

Just like he did.

- Evan Sanders

Isn’t that the truth. Let me tell you a short story.

Up until my sophomore year of college, I was a pawn. Put me on the board of life and tell me what to do – I would do it. I was guided by routine – go to school, go to practice, go home and eat and do it all over again. The routine lasted for years and of course there were some very positive things that came out of this path. However, eventually the foundation was cracked and a decision had to be made. Who will you be from this moment on?

Each piece of the board has its own benefits – but in looking back I know that I didn’t automatically tell myself that I was going to be a king…no…I had to graduate first to a knight. And off we went, moving two steps forward and one step to the side. Sure there were times where I was sent back to where I came from, but in all, I learned the importance of taking definitive steps towards my goals. Eventually, I graduated to other pieces, finding out the importance of diagonal movements and the power of each position. Life mirrored this course.

With each growth comes a new set of challenges. As you become something greater, the work, the time, the effort must also mirror your position. I have always said that the bigger the dream the bigger the problems that come with it. This has always held true throughout time. And oh my…have there been problems. I think though, that maybe the problems were always there – but as you become more in touch with yourself – you actually begin to see them for what they are.

This can be stressful. Very stressful. And there is a large tendency to want to regress back to what you were so you can make the problems livable again.

This doesn’t work. Once you know they are there…they are there. They don’t go away. In fact, when you don’t deal with the obstacles on the path – they stop your progress altogether.

It takes time to really muster up the courage to become the most influential piece on the board. You have to take massive risks and these risks will really test your heart. Nothing will ever be the same. You will feel pressure, sometimes so much pressure that you can literally feel it in your shoulders. You will be challenged, threatened, left alone and attacked. But isn’t that the game? Because we are all pieces on the board, and with our increasing value we become a greater target. The positives always are balanced out with the negatives – and when the negatives come searching (fear, doubt, hate, insecurity, loneliness) they look for the high-profile pieces. The pawns aren’t as attractive. Carl Jung said it best, “The brighter the light the darker the shadow.” Life is all about learning how to live with the Black Dog.

I’m not saying it’s easy – I’m saying it’s worth it. Always looking to further yourself and perfect your skills. Disciplining yourself and always looking to perform at a high level. Be passionate about your life, and serious about the steps you know you have to take to make the best one you possibly can.

- Evan Sanders

Sometimes you get to a point where you say “Why the hell not?” But seriously…why not? What have you got to lose? Nothing. What do you have to gain? Everything. At first, the task in front of you may seem daunting – but then you realize that really…it’s going to be fun. I don’t think there’s anything more addicting out there than success. Achieving results and seeing your life transform might be one of the coolest things out there.

“Nothing happens until something moves.” Albert Einstein said that. Can I make a connection to something motivational? Indeed.

It has happened all too many times where I get so serious about what I am doing that I forget to sit back and take a moment to absolutely enjoy everything I am doing. It’s easy to do this in the gym – get so focused on what you are doing that you tune absolutely everything out…hell, its easy for me to do this for an hour or so – but I do have to remind myself to take a minute to sit down and smile at what is going on. Call it an appreciation moment.

So move – because nothing will happen if you don’t. Change your view, change your actions, change your world. Life works in mysterious ways when you make a vow.

- Evan Sanders

“Focus. Prepare. Get a jump on the city. Out the door before the paper arrives. Get to the gym before the guy who owns the gym. This is the push that makes the future appear. The hard work that makes the luck happen. The honor of a routine  nobody will ever know about. Always preparing for what’s next. Cause the minute you take a step back and rest on what you did, you’re done. This is what we call pre. The moments before when you prepare and determine what comes next. This is pre-rep. Pre-set. Pre-workout. Pre-results. Pre-competition, medal, trophy, title, endorsement deal, photo shoot, and fame. All this is pre all of that. So get started. Because everything is pre, and pre, is everything.”

- ON, Pre Commercial

The honor of a routine that no one will ever know about. Most days you will wake up feeling average – like  there’s nothing special about the day. But it is your routine that will drive you to greatness. The routine that you have set in place that takes you each day one step closer to your  goals. Map it out. Cross it off each day. Have faith and don’t look back to the shore behind you. Set sail and just go – you will discover a brave new world.

- Evan Sanders

Silence

On the brink of challenge

I spend time with my family

Smiling

Laughing

Loving

With no sense of anxiety

Or deep anticipation

Knowing what lies in front of me

Will demand nothing short of

Blood

Sweat

&

Tears

Those glimpses – the ones I catch

As I walk past the mirror

I see the smile on my face

And know that I have everything it takes

To create

My

World

- Evan Sanders

The time has come. What time is it? The moment when you finally realize that your best – what has been carrying you the whole way thus far – is now not your best. It has become the norm. It becomes boring, monotonous, and stale. It is time to best your best.

I have been pondering, planning, writing and preparing…and now, as all systems have been checked (to avoid fatal structural damage of course) there is only one thing left to do. Permission to launch.

Elevate yourself. Take whatever you had before and make it better. Improve upon it. Critique it. Make it stronger, faster, better. Make this life, the one you have right now, the best moments you have ever had. But you have the have the courage to accept where you are right at this moment and be ready to take the next step.

“Tough times don’t last – tough people do.” No matter what, you can get through it. Iron mind, heart, and soul – all wrapped in silk. Find a balance. Balance will help you create a world where happiness flourishes.

- Evan Sanders

There comes a point where you have to stop battle planning and just start trying.

No more timid starts.

No more excuses.

No more maybes.

No more I’d like to one day.

Just start.

Go after your dreams.

Start before you have everything figured out.

Before you are ready.

The rewards will come.

- Evan Sanders

The day you realize that you are really the only one who can determine and create your personal value is a very important day. Too often I have allowed myself to crumble because of the lack of character of others. This is a monumental realization for me for a few reasons. The first is that I have come to realize that “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” William Shakespeare was a pretty smart man I would venture to say. I believe fully that instead of living a life where you have incredibly high expectations for those around you (sometimes unachievable ones) and living a life where you are constantly disappointed – you should go a different route.

What does that route look like? Demand a lot from yourself, and simply ask for honesty and respect from others. I know that even those two expectations for some may be hard to meet, but that is where I draw my personal boundary line. Then, I go on with my days happily surprised by people instead of disappointed.

The standards you set for yourself as a human being are some of the most important choices out there. I truly believe that whatever you project out into the world will eventually come back to you. Positive karma & the law of attraction. It’s a never-ending journey though…the question of “Can I give more?” And I agree – the answer is almost always yes.

The choices, words, and beliefs of others are out of your control. All you can ask from yourself is to act with grace and like a lady/gentleman. It is tough sometimes when you don’t get treated well by other people. I can tell you from personal experience that I have often made it about me instead of just letting the seemingly personal attack be about what is going on in their world – not mine. It’s a lesson that I am learning over and over again. And every time I learn it, it brings me back to Don Ruiz and his book The 4 Agreements. Don’t Take Anything Personally.

You deserve the best. But you have to go out and create that. The world as you envision it can be made, but yes – you have to first see it. You have to see how you fit into that world – what you do, say, look like, act like – the works. It is when you create this image in your mind that you can truly take it to the next level. Put it on paper and practice every single day. Be that person. Sooner or later, you will become everything you’ve ever wished for.

- Evan Sanders