Evan Sanders's Blog, page 99

City

Creamery

View

Chairs

Hands

Eyes

Smile

Laugh

Hair

Perfume

Cooking

Harold

Maude

Coffee

Sheets

Snow

Lost

Dreams

Future

Walks

Whiskey

Pong

Stories

Whitman

Warmth

Sickness

Pain

Tears

Dr.

Lawn

Logic

Emotion

Movies

Theater

Family

Photos

Dancing

Sleep

Happiness

Love

Moving

Gym

Calls

Reading

Sass

Camping

Fishing

Wine

Shakes

Butterflies

Sushi

Drives

Fires

Hugs

Kisses

Texts

Goodbyes

Hellos

One of the first questions you might ask is, “Where the hell have you been?” I have been perfectly lost. I have been soaking in every single experience I can down in Los Angeles, putting myself in the way of opportunity, and seeing the beauty in moments I would ignore before.

Like I said, perfectly lost.

I come to the table tonight a different type of man and I fully intend to tell you the reasons why and how this all happened.

In order to change the world, we must first change ourselves. In order to show the world love, we must first love ourselves and those who are around us. As Lao Tzu said above, we must awake all of ourselves in order to fully transform into a servant that can bring gifts to the world. This transformation is the glue to the super. It rarely happens though because the journey is so incredibly difficult. Going back to the drawing table every single day is exhausting, sometimes personally humiliating, humbling, taxing…the list goes on. But like in anything, there is a positive balance to the equation. The thing is, many only see the negative that exists and forget to look for all of the great things that come out of self transformation. Love. Passion. An unyielding soul.

It’s resistance that strengthens us. And in the spirit of that idea, I want to share something I wrote to my sister this morning in relation to her struggles with the demanding nature of medical school.

“You are a very very strong woman. And you are answering the call every single day. Keep throwing on your armor and remember that you are creating all of this not for yourself, but for whatever is above watching over and checking out what you do with the tools and the skills you have been given. You are going to help so many people by what you are going to do…and before you know it you will be there.

Like a blacksmith’s arm, it is resistance that creates strength and hardness in the muscle. By slamming a hammer up against iron it becomes built. Forged in strength. Your doing the exact same thing. Talent took you very far, now it’s time to become skilled by beating on your craft each and every day. You got this.”

Our dreams can be forged by the constant recognition of the fact that they are precisely what we want out of life. That’s the first step. The second step is hammering away each and every day and bringing yourself to the finish line. Along the way, and I am a huge believer in the concept of Karma, you have to treat people with kindness, compassion, and love. Without these characteristics relationships suffer in the face of accomplishing something great. I have been there before, and as I have grown, I have come to realize that I would rather not accomplish something or even go on the journey if I am going to be hurting others  as I go.

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” I couldn’t agree more. But I think true legends and heroes are those who believe in the beauty of their dreams, support the dreams of others, and spread light as they move towards their goals. Those are our heroes. Not the people in all the lights necessarily, but those behind the scenes doing what they know best for themselves and humanity each and every day. We should celebrate the common man, the one who no one knows but warms the hearts of the people he touches.

As I step forward back into writing here, I come with a fresh mind and new ideas on what truly matters in life. We can often get caught up in things that don’t matter. What I truly am impressed by when I spend time with people is those who can talk about their heart, their dreams, their experiences and tell stories that come from deep inside their soul. That touches me more than anything else. Because to me, that is actually spending time with someone. When you open your arms and at the same time let it all out. What scares you…what you fear…what you love.

Those are real conversations. That is as real as it gets. Those are moments you never forget and friendships, made of the strongest steel are created and stand the test of time.

Live life.

Laugh.

Love.

- Evan Sanders

It’s a haunting concept really. The thought of diving into your past. It’s funny that the concept of personal examination of this time period is so paralyzing for so many of us despite the fact that many of us live in this place all day already. We hold grudges, hold firm to events where our hearts were stepped on or broken, and spend a great deal of time thinking that things were far better “back in the day” then they are in our current struggle. We spend the journey walking backwards. No wonder it’s tough as hell to walk in the present.

Our past is our biggest enemy, but at the same time, it can be our greatest teacher. But the decision to go to that place has to be made for the right reasons. Eventually, you have to dedicate yourself to walking right into the thick of it, even the darkest of dark, lantern in hand, searching for answers that you always knew were there but you never wanted to take the risk to actually find out. Now most of us are used to short term gratification…and I am going to tell you the short term results of such a journey. Pain. Lots of pain. There’s going to be a handful of that. But if you can see the pain as something you need to grow, well then you can use it to your advantage. Situation after situation will arise causing short term punches of pain, but time and time again, if you are looking for it, you will find the lesson in what happened. You come to accept the past and it is only in this combination of learning and acceptance that the baggage is lifted off of your shoulders one piece at a time. But don’t settle. Keep going. Clean up your entire past. When it’s all clean, you will feel a sense of nothingness. From that, you can create just about anything for yourself.

Your ego is going to be the biggest obstacle in this entire journey. I can personally tell you how hard it is to let your ego go and look really bad for a while. In fact, if you focus on the fact that positive relationships in your life will bring you more happiness than you could possibly imagine, you will give up trying to be right about everything and apologize for what you are responsible for. After that, you cannot control how others will react to your apology, however, you will have cleaned up your part. Some will apologize. Some will say nothing. But like I said, the hard work has been done. These moments, the ones where you let down your guard…reveal more about you than anything else. They reveal character.

The past serves as a reminder for how far we have come. It shouldn’t be a place where we live though. If we live there, we miss out on the brilliance of todays light. Is it hard to do what I just wrote about? You be. But all good things in life come with some blood, sweat, and tears. It wouldn’t be worth it if it was incredibly easy. Toss your ego aside for a while if you really want to live in the here and now. Learn from the best teacher there is: daily life.

- Evan Sanders

It’s really an interesting topic, this idea of creating the future. When you mix goals and expectations…well Shakespeare said it best, “Expectation is the route of all heartache.” But must have  goals to be able to strive for personal greatness. You have to believe they will happen and visualize accomplishing that goal or it will never happen.

How the hell do you balance goals with expectations?

Well, I think I finally figured it out. Reach for the stars. Find your limits, surpass them, then reach for more. Visualize what you want, make a plan to achieve it, and then work that plan. Know that your goal is something you absolutely want because it will be a positive addition to your life. Then…follow through.

But don’t expect for a second that things will be a specific way. Expecting nothing and soak in every single minute you are here on this planet. Drink life’s perfect imperfection. The experience of the journey is there to make you grow. Don’t fight it – you will wear yourself out. Soak it in. Be a sponge.

“You could build any life you want. Because soon everyone will know about you. You have such an incredible opportunity right now to create anything you want for yourself. So who are you going to be?”

Every time I talk to you my world is turned upside down in the most perfect way. Don’t mistake my silence for anything but pure awe of the mental bombs you drop into my head almost daily. I listen because I know it’s sincere. I listen because I know that it comes from the depths of your heart. You have taken me under your wing, guiding my passionate cluelessness, but never talking down to me or discouraging me. You are a true confidant in a world that is plagued by the deserters. For that, I will always look to you for real genuine support and knowledge. But beyond everything else, you are a great friend. A friend that I would go to battle for when asked. And we will suit up in armor and charge the field of the world very soon.

I owe you for many things. However, I know you will never accept anything from me. So I will give you the one thing I can: my respect. So cheers. To an incredible man. A friend. And to a comrade I will change the world with.

Oh, and lastly…to the future.

- E

Hey Better Man Project fans!

I need some help…and who better to come to than those read my work all the time! My main vision is spread the lessons I have learned from all this self-exploration far and wide. I need your help for about 3 minutes. I am trying my best to grow the Facebook network and would love your endorsement. Please follow the directions below and help me grow! Please go to https://www.facebook.com/BetterManProject and follow the directions below.

Thank you so much! Contact me if you have any questions.

Starting Instructions for all Web Browsers

1. Click Invite Friends on whatever you are inviting people to

2. In the dropdown next to the search box, click Search All Friends

3. Scroll ALL the way down until names stop loading (I found it easy to click the first name and then hold down the spacebar or Page Down button)

4. Copy this code: javascript:elms=document.getElementsByName(“checkableitems[]“);for (i=0;i

For Chrome:

5. Press F12 on your keyboard and click the “Console” tab

6. Paste the code into the box at the bottom and press enter

7. For large friends list, this may utilize all your resources and will cause the page to freeze and be unresponsive. Just wait a few minutes until all the names get selected.

For Safari:

5. Copy the code

6. Paste the code into the web address section and hit enter

7. Wait for a couple minutes. It should come up with a message saying all friends have been selected. Then click Share!

For Firefox:

5. Press CTRL + Shift + K

6. Paste the code into the box at the bottom and press enter.

7. For large friends list, this may utilize all your resources and will cause the page to freeze and be unresponsive. Just wait a few minutes until all the names get selected.

For Internet Explorer:

5. Press F12 on your keyboard

6. Click the “Console” tab

7. Paste the code into the box at the bottom and press enter.

8. For large friends list, this may utilize all your resources and will cause the page to freeze and be unresponsive. Just wait a few minutes until all the names get selected.

- Evan Sanders

Our finest moment

Is when we reach

For something past our present

Like a fumbling hand into the future

—

But with a vision

That hand becomes still

One that grips with purpose

And moves away from temptation

—

It creates and spreads its fingers

Grasping for more

And tells the mind to dream bigger

As it has worlds to create

—

The hands work and grind away

Creating calluses of pride

Shying away from mediocrity

Urging the soul to glow and never hide

—

You have something special

Search for it

Create it.

Admire the craftsmanship of the tools

You have been given

Your Hands

&

Your Mind

- E

I sit before you a very lucky man. And I have to tell you, I am so thankful for everything I have and the opportunities that I have been given. I am healthy, young, strong willed and ready. These are gifts. Gifts that shouldn’t ever be overlooked.

I took some time to settle into downtown Los Angeles, a whole new world in itself. My work, this place, the people, the smells….are all new. That list goes on endlessly really. But there are things that do not change about you when you change your entire life. In fact, there are things that will always stick with you no matter what. Tonight I want to talk about dreams.

If your dreams don’t scare the shit out of you, well, they just aren’t big enough. I believe however that the bigger you dream the longer it takes to accept these dreams. There’s a courting process. You go on your first date with your dreams when you decide to pick them up and there’s a time period when you are a bit uncomfortable with the dream across from you because you don’t know it too well. You kinda stare at each other, flirt a little bit, get settled in, and if it’s right, you commit. And isn’t that the word that makes all the magic in the world happen. Commitment. Commitment to something means that you only accept results. Interest means you dabble with it, you know, stick your toe in once in a while.

When I first started writing, everything in me was focused on trying to “understand” everything. I was trying to understand how come others weren’t playing by the same rules as I was, why certain things seemed to happen over and over again, and why I felt like life was a series of one step forward two steps backward scenarios. In short, I was writing blind. I found that quote above today diving into Pinterest and it couldn’t have hit closer to home.

I never knew myself because I never heard my voice. I was always lost because I had no personal direction. So I left. I went searching and left everyone behind. Where did I go? Within.

As the days go by, I start to realize that life is a series of events that can either turn into memories or opportunities. Throughout the day, there will be things that come up that you can either seize or watch them fade for one reason or another. It could be as simple as a woman smiling at you from across the bar to a big opportunity at work. Nonetheless, the opportunities are there if your eyes are open. But I think that’s the hardest part. How do you know when the opportunities are there? That’s where the quote above comes into play. You will begin to hear your voice over time and there will be a whisper that says, “Go for it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.” You find your best in these moments. You find that little “umphh” that you have always known was there but could never call on it when you truly wanted to.

Really give it everything you’ve got. The seconds, hours, minutes, days go by whether you like them to or not. You have a choice. A pretty big choice. That choice is to put all the love and passion you can into the world or to play a mediocre game. It has taken me up until today to realize that the lessons I have learned throughout this project (Love. Passion. Never Quit) were meant to be molded into the concept of Carpe Diem. Seize the day. I learned those lessons so when opportunity comes my way, I can stay true to myself and do things with some soul-on-fire vigor. With that, I can’t go wrong.

- Evan Sanders

Of course I still think of you

Memories

Touch

Warmth

The scenes replay in my head as if you put them fresh on the reel

I remember your laugh

How safe I felt

Anything in my heart could be said

Of course I remember

I remember laying on the lawn listening to this song

And we both fell asleep even though we were both so awake

I see pictures once in a while

That remind me of that time

I see my smile

My heart was on fire

I wish it for everyone

That feeling

I remember

We recover in life

They say time heals all wounds

But like any wound

Scars are left

Of course I remember

But I store those memories away now

They aren’t as present for me as they used to be

I used to live them every day

Wondering

But you helped me become the man I am today

And for that I thank you every day

It was love and gentle touch that got me here

When I felt that I was made of broken pieces

All that time ago

When I thought that scars were to be ashamed of

Instead of battle wounds to tell magnificent stories about

Of course I remember

We don’t talk

There are no smiles

No letters anymore

But once the pain subsided

There were only warm things left in me

Lessons

Love was left over

Displaced

But prevalent

Deep

Passionate

Love for life

And the cold hardened ground in my soul thawed

I remember your hair

Those eyes

Your hands

Of course I remember

And now

I store that away

In here ::chest::

For those times when I need to smile

And I do

And I go on

Knowing the foundation was set

For doing something great with myself

Sometimes you have to turn the light off

To really know what it’s like to turn the light on

- Evan Sanders