Lane Hart's Blog, page 6

 
 As far as I'm concerned, the Jack Rabbit vibrators are the best damn things ever made. I've tried a few other brands (for research purposes) and the My First Jack Rabbit is the best bang for your buck. Literally. 
The price is right, around $40, and what this brand has that the others don't is the "rabbit ears" that hit the clit. There are several speed options, and swirly beads in the shaft that add a little something extra. 
This device is waterproof of course, and if you're not a beginner then there are several other versions of the Jack Rabbit to pick from.
  

 
It's slim pickings for today's letter when it comes to naughty toys and techniques so I went with ice. \
Ice is one of the cheapest, easiest additions you can add to the bedroom. We've tried various foods but they just end up making a mess.
It's been a long week and I'm tired, so that's all I've got today. I'm a slacker.

  Guys aren't the only ones that like them round and big. It's true, men like big butts and breasts, and women like huge cocks. There I said it!  I've seen a variety of male private parts over the years, and sorry guys, but bigger really is better. I'm sure there are some women that are happy with a less than average size man. He better be pretty damn skilled with foreplay.  I lived with one of my small fry ex-boyfriends for a year. He was a worthless piece of shit, and I'm not entirely convinced that his small cock was at least partially responsible for him being a complete fuck up. He moved in with me because he got fired from his job for slacking, going home to sleep while he was on the clock and was supposed to be on campus monitoring network servers. So I let the bastard move in with me because I felt bad for him. He refused to get another job and decided to just mooch off of me. He started using drugs and passing out in plates of food in the middle of the night. It took my dad and brother-in-law packing his shit up and moving him out to get rid of his sorry ass. Now, what's the point of this whole story? He had a small dick and I think his feelings of inadequacy accounted for some of his problems.
I also know someone else who had a horrible ex with a small dick. He was abusive and an alcoholic, oh and he cheated on her. Once again, was his acting out caused by his feelings of inadequacy? I say yes.
All the guys in my romance books are hung. I'd love to read a love story about a woman who falls for a great guy with a small cock. Ha! It'll never happen.

 
This is not a follow up to the B day but refers to a gag as in the kinky bondage item meant to prevent speaking. It's worn by submissives who want to hand control over to their dominants. I'm all for the gag, blindfold and restraints, and the only thing that I can't give up is hearing. There's something disorienting about not being about to hear what's going on around you even if you can feel it. 
So anyway, back to the gag. There are a few different types, with the ball gag being the most common. There's also a leather one sold in adult toys stores with a circular opening that makes breathing easier. Gags can also be fashioned with tape or other around the house items. If you decide to play, just be sure you can trust your dominant since you won't be able to use a safe word!     

  When I hear the word fetish I automatically think about foot fetishes. I'm just glad my husband is not a man with such interests since I inherited the most unattractive feet ever. 
In our office I've dealt with clients who have feet fetishes and even one with a panty fetish. The latter was a panty thief, stealing panties from the drawers of friends and relatives when he was visiting at their houses. He got busted sneaking into a neighbor's house on one of his panty raids. The lady who lived there caught him in her daughter's room and held on a gun on him until the police showed up and arrested him for B&E. Inside the trunk of his car they found a hundred or so pairs of women's panties.   I guess we all have our kinks, some are just stranger than others. People get their kicks dressing up in fuzzy costumes, wearing diapers, and who the hell knows what else. As long as it doesn't involve anything illegal I say to each his own. 

 
Head, shoulders, knees and toes! Yes, all of those are erogenous zones. Everyone has their favorites. Some erogenous zones are more sensitive than others, and everyone reacts differently to being touched or kissed on these areas. 
Other erogenous body parts include the mouth, neck, ears, scalp, chest, breasts, abdomen, thighs, armpits, wrists, ass, hips, and of course the genital area. 
So really, if you think about it, are there any body parts that are non-erogenous zones for everyone? Calf? Elbow? Nose? I think that's all that's left. 


    

 
Do you have a terrible gag flex like me? The women at the dentist office HATE trying to get my x-rays. Did you know there are throat sprays sold to help numb your throat and help with blowjobs? I had no idea until a few weeks ago. They are basically like a regular sore throat spray. 
I read some of the reviews and decided to try the pink one from A&E called Deep Throat Desensitizing Spray which costs about $8.00. The taste was actually decent, sweet like candy, and after three sprays I couldn't feel anything, which definitely made things...easier.

 
The cock ring is such a small, seemingly insignificant product. I'd never even thought much about them until a few months ago. We received one for the free gift with an Adam & Eve order. After the first time my husband and I used it I immediately asked him why we hadn't bought one of this bad boys sooner. 
The ring's purpose is to help the man keep the erection longer and harder. That part I can give or take. The vibrating bullet is why I'm such a big fan of the cock ring. It applies just the right amount of pressure to help find the elusive O during intercourse, especially with the woman on top position. The sensations you get out of this tiny little vibrator is seriously addicting! 
So, if you've never tried one out before, it is definitely worth the $20 you'll spend!

 

 
Who wants to bet my percentage of male visitors just went up? But, yes, B really is for Blowjobs. 
When I was fourteen my dad walked in on me on my knees in front of my boyfriend, getting ready to attempt the act. It took me years to overcome the embarrassment and disappointment on my father's face before I tried performing the task again.
Fast forward to when I was twenty and my husband and I first started dating. After I went on birth control we experimented with no condoms for the first time in my life. After seeing three gyno's to figure out why sex hurt like hell I was diagnosed as having a semen allergy. No shit. I have really painful physical reactions to the substance. 
Seven years later when I was about twenty weeks pregnant with our second daughter we tried to ditch the condoms to see if I was still allergic. After I threw up twice the answer was pretty obvious. 
Even with all these obstacles I still go down on my husband. As he tells it, he doesn't care how it ends, as long as he gets there. I understand that blowjobs are a necessity, and I actually enjoy giving them. I forgot to mention that I also gag when brushing my teeth, so I feel really bad for my husband. I want to give him the best BJs ever but with his size and my array of hurdles, he's screwed.
For the men who got sucked into my blog based on the title, here's a tip: If you want more BJs  you've got to manscape. That's right, smooth is sexy and much more user friendly. You'll also look bigger.       

A-rou-sal - sexual desire in anticipation of sexual activity. 


I don't know if the same is true for men, but I'm guessing I'm not the only woman who has difficulty turning off the never ending stream of shit to do constantly running through my mind in order to get in the mood.

It's almost impossible for me to suddenly go from mother/employee/writer to "Let's get it on." While my husband is trying his best to rock my world, I'm wondering if I sent that last email at the office, or if my daughter finished all her homework, or how am I going to end the book I'm writing. It's so frustrating!

So here are a few ways I've learned to overcome the daily hustle and bustle to, well, come:

1. Put down the electronics, all of them, at least half an hour before sexy time. No computer and no texting or Facebooking. No getting into long conversations my mom or anyone else on the phone. I unplug from the world, except for maybe my Kindle, which brings me to 2.

2. Read a dirty story. That's right, to get my mind off of real life I dive into a good "mommy porn" book. My favorite authors are Victoria Ashley, Tessa Bailey, or really any of the Entangled Brazen authors. 

3. Put on a dirty movie. I'm not sure I understand why some women are so anti-porno. Sure, if my husband was always watching it when I'm not around it might bother me. But the two of us only watch it together (Yes, I know that for a fact since he won't stop playing video games long enough to do anything else on the computer). It's hard to think about anything but lovin' when the woman on TV is getting it on with two dudes at the same time. Everything I was worrying about or thinking about...whoosh, goes out the window.



So, there you have it. Probably TMI but naughty toys and techniques is my blog theme this year. Thank you so much for stopping by, and be sure to visit some of the other A to Z blogs that are much nicer and more G-rated than mine!