College Students! discussion

i'm just really nervous right now and kind of freaking out. In the past week or so I've been having a really bad pain in my breast..and I felt a lump. I'm not sure if i'm just being paranoid..but I'm really scared. and i know that i need to get it checked out..but a) I'm (excuse my language)FUCKING scared out of my mind. I don't think i can handle that sort of news. I really don't think I can handle it at all. I mean..I think it has alot to do with the fact that my mom died of cancer..not breast cancer..but still I don't feel like I can go through this kind of thing. I mean..I'm just freaked out. and b) I don't have health insurance right now and I'm sure it would take me a few months to even be able to get an appointment..and I'm just really freaking out right now..So..yeah..anyways..keep me in your prayers/thoughts..I know I have to go get this checked out but i'm scared and really not wanting to.

Jamie,

First, I think you are stronger than you think. You could handle it, but I really hope it isn't cancer and you don't have to handle it.

Second, Get to the doctor, ASAP! You know if it is cancer the earlier it is caught the better.

Third, it is alright to be freaked out! Just scream and get it all out, then you will fill better.

Hope it isn't cancer or anything scary like cancer. Hang in there.

Jamie, that is really scary and I hope it's nothing bad, but you should really get it checked out. You should try a free clinic in your area (if you qualify) or at Planned Parenthood if you're worried about not having insurance or getting an appointment (you might have to wait around for awhile, if they don't take appointments in your area). I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!

Jamie, please go get it checked out as soon as you can. Even if you can't get an appointment right away, the longer you wait the longer it will take to see the doctor. We care about you, and I'll pray for you!

Also, thanks to everyone for all the support... I really appreciate it and I'm very grateful to have this place to go for support and to know that a)I'm not alone and b)there are better ways to spend my time and it's okay to indulge a little.

Jamie, its ok to FUCKING SWEAR when ya need to, let it out! It is scary, but go to the docter and check it out. I heard that most lumps are benign, so it's probably nothing, but still, get there asap.

Hang in there buddy, I hope everything works out good.

Lauren, I have/had a problem with anxiety, and there was a time when I needed to take medication to stay well. I was so stressed that I couldn’t bear. I was always leaving classes. Often, besides knowing that I needed to be there, I wanted to be there, but I could not. And I have a big problem with making lists of things to do. Actually I organized my schedule very well but I planned things that I couldn’t beat because my own expectations were too high. I don’t know if you take/took any medications or are/was in any treatment. But it worked for me, at least during that critical period. I hope you get well!

Tahleen I’m SO SORRY! But you’re not alone! There's a guy that has the mentor in common with me. We met and instantly clicked and became good friends and I cannot stop thinking about him. Sometimes we are really close and other times he is really distant with me. The problem is: yesterday I discovered
he has a girlfriend. Even though I like him, I have no intention of letting anything happen between us while he is with his girlfriend. Working with him is tearing me apart.

Jamie, I don’t know if you believe in God, but I'm going to pray for you. Twist that isn’t serious, I mean, I had problems with anxiety and last year I felt pain in my chest but after doing a ton of medical tests, they find nothing. It was anxiety, and what they call Somatization (caused by stress).

Janet wrote: "So I wanted to post something on here because I am very excited about something. So, my boyfriend and I have always talked about moving but I have never really wanted to live away from my family. A..."

Wow, Congrats! I live between Colorado and Alaska and it's very beautiful, whether it be the winter snow or the green beauty! I hope that works out well for you, it is quite the adventure!

Jamie..please go to the doctors! It might be nothing but you don't want to let it get out of control. I know how scared you must be..especially with everything that happened with your mom..but for the sake of everyone who loves & cares about you..you should go ASAP. and you can always talk to us here!

Jamie, go to the doctor PLEEEEEASE!!! I know it's scary, but your mind will let things get out of control when you don't know (esp. for things like this) so it's definitely better to know...then you can deal with it. Jamie you ARE a strong person (that doesn't mean that you don't feel the fear - it means you don't give up in the face of that fear) and you can absolutely handle this. We are all here for you! Usually lumps end up being nothing, but the earlier you catch something the better. My aunt has had a few biopsies and all of them have turned out benign.

i did some research on your problem, i know this is not my thing and maybe i shouldnt be giving you advice, but i read an article dealing with your situation and found out that this type of case is a common occurence among most teens. Fewer than ten cases dealing with your situation actually had breast cancer. if you want more information Http://health.yahoo.com/experts/breas... check it out maybe it will help you, and maybe even calm you down. i hope that there is nothing wrong and that everything works out for you

So here's my random good news or rather.. good mindset. I have 4 weeks of class left and then I will finally, hopefully be done until my masters... thank god! So I'm just excited to get some nights back to myself and no worries over the summer.. besides finding an extra summer job.

Kristen wrote: "So here's my random good news or rather.. good mindset. I have 4 weeks of class left and then I will finally, hopefully be done until my masters... thank god! So I'm just excited to get some nights..."

yay!! the feeling of almost being done is amazing but at the same time it's so crazy because you are just anticipating it so much!

Yes, and my situation is kinda funky b/c I finished my Bachelors last summer, but was taking extra classes for an endorsement to add to my teaching certificate so I could work in a school library.. I'm working in a school library, but not as a full librarian. So this means more money eventually but lots of paperwork to wait to go through before I know if I'm "done". It's just so nice to think things are finally almost there and that I can at least break from classes for a year or more... so nice.

Hmm..I've just been having a real hard time lately. I explained it more in detail on my blog..sounded like a crazy person but that's ok. Things have been crappy lately..with the job and things going on in my life. My boyfriend's dad got diagnosed with ALS(Lou Gehrig's) last summer and he's really getting bad..and it's just really hard on both of us. It's hard on him for obvious reasons. (Although I am thankful our relationship hasn't suffered)..but I've been through this with my mom..and it's hard for me to watch this over again for so many reasons..and mostly because I love my boyfriend so much and I don't want him to feel the kind of pain I felt. I'm glad that I can be there for him..but I feel like I have to be strong all of the time..because the last thing he needs to deal with his for me to have a mental breakdown. It's just going to be a hard couple of months..because his dad is really deteriorating and there is nothing I can do about it. So..for those of you who pray..please be praying for the situation.

Aw Jamie I'm sorry :( I will pray for you and your boyfriend and his dad.

I'll definitely be praying for you!

Me too, Jamie!

I'm so sorry this is happening. Thank goodness he has you so you can help him to remember to appreciate now (I have to remind myself of that all the time) and for all the other reasons as well. I don't know what to say... I'm just really sorry all of you are going through this.

you and ur boyfriend and his dad will be my prayers....stay by his side and help him get through this

Hey girls!!! It's been so long since I've been on here!!! The main reason... they blocked this website at work a while back :( I guess they caught me on it the whole time I was supposed to be working. Haha. But anyways, I think it's safe to say I'm back for good this time. And I've still been reading... read I think 6 books already since classes have been out.

There's so many new people here!!! So hi everyone!! I was on here all the time a while back... so in a nutshell... I'm Lauren, I'm a senior at Kentucky Wesleyan College majoring in Corporate Communications, I work part time at a bank, and I hope one day to be a branch manager. I love books, of course... um... I'm a nerd... I used to play WoW, but haven't in a while, I also play video games with my bf. Haha. We've been dating 4 years this month. He got me a ring, but we are calling it an anniversary ring. Haha. But it looks like an engagement ring. Haha. We will eventually get married, but we're in no rush. We're trying to buy our first house. That's about all I can think of. I'm a good listener, love everybody (unless they are a smart ass), and I really missed everyone here!!

Wow... that wasn't exactly a nutshell, but hey. Anyways I'm glad I'm back!! =)

YAY LAUREN!! Welcome back!! We've missed you soo much!! :)

Man oh man has this weekend been hard. I mentioned everything going on with my boyfriend's dad in my last post on this thread. I spent the weekend with his family for the first time since March. His dad's health is in decline. It's so sad to watch. And I didn't realize how much my boyfriend has to do for him..he has to help him shower, go to the bathroom, help him get dressed, help him up and down stairs, etc. It's just so hard to watch him go through what I went through..except he is doing all the primary caretaking along with his mom. I thought it was hard for me with my mom's illness..but I just don't know how my boyfriend is handling all of this. He is truly amazing to me right now. He really is. I just hope that he can continue to be strong and that I can be there right beside him and help him through it as much as I can. I have to say..I feel like I have alot on my shoulders right now after spending the weekend with them. It's heavy burden to carry and so I can't imagine how my boyfriend feels. This is going to be a hard summer..I can tell. My stepdad (who is a doctor) says that he doesn't see him living past August. It just makes me so sad.

Wow Jamie that's tough..well at least your boyfriend has you :-) His poor dad..that is really rough.

Jamie..that sounds like a hard situation! I think you are handling it with grace and that your boyfriend reallly is lucky to have someone that understands the pain he is going through. Hang in there!

My uncle passed away today. We knew it was coming, he had hospice and everything, but we didn't know it was coming today. My sister and I went to see him this morning and he slept while we were there but we visited with my aunt and cousin. Not 10 minutes after I got home my aunt called with the news. It's very, very sad. He was a great and wonderful man. He didn't deserve any of this. I hope he knew we were there this morning visiting but I am still sad I did not get to tell him goodbye. I am very sad for my grandma because no matter what age I can't imagine losing a child. I'm just sad and numb but keeping busy because I know the second I stop, I will fall apart.

I'm so sorry Janet. I have no idea what you're going through, but I want you to know that I'm thinking about you. Just remember that it's ok to mourn and be sad and cry. Don't be afraid to lean on your family if you need to, and be there for them when you can. We're all here for you if you need to talk or anything.

Janet, I second what Emily said. You can always come here to talk to us about anything.

I'm sorry for your loss Janet. :(

I'm so sorry, Janet... that is so sad. Emily said it better than I could, and Tahleen's right, too. I know it's not the same, but they say it's good to do the goodbye even so. I'm sure you've already heard that, but just in case. I'm really sorry Janet... my heart goes out to you and your family.

i am deeply sorry for your loss.

Janet..I am so sorry to hear about this. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk. You will be in my thoughts and prayers as I know this will be a hard time for you and your family.

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. The funeral is on Wednesday, so it will be a hard day. But the next day is my birthday which is a happy time...sort of.

Eh. Today is going to be a rough day.
It marks the fact that it's been 3 years since my mother passed away.
So please keep me in your thoughts/prayers that I don't have a mental breakdown today or anything.
I think I'm ok thus far today.
My family is going out to lunch and then probably over to her grave.

Some good things have happened though...but I'll share them in the I'm so Happy thread! :)

I'll be thinking about you today Jamie. I also read about your happy things, and I'm glad you have so much support from your friends who are actually there with you!

I'll def have good vibes coming your way today! Also..I'm really glad to hear as well that your friends are really coming through for you

Janet wrote: "My uncle passed away today. We knew it was coming, he had hospice and everything, but we didn't know it was coming today. My sister and I went to see him this morning and he slept while we were the..."

god Janet, I'm so sorry...that's terrible. *imaginary hug* I'll be thinking about you.

Hope you're doing ok, Jamie. You're very brave.

I hope everyone's doing well & that everything is looking up.

I'm having another one of these moments that I seem to be experiencing more and more lately. It's the realization that, as I've gotten older, my patience has run really thin for most people. This results in a lot of lost or shallow friendships, and I hate that. I'm not a mean-spirited person, nor do I try to be judgmental, but I just don't see the point in giving multiple chances to people who insist on disappointing me or being inconsiderate of me time and again.

I hope I'm not the only one who feels like this or has gone through this. I just don't know what it means. Do I try to branch out? Do I move cities? Do I keep to myself? I'm not anti-social, and I don't want to be, but I'm also not interested in investing any part of myself in friendships or relationships that have no substance to them.

You are 100% not alone in that. That is my exact predicament these days regarding people. You summed it up perfectly for me.

I'm not sure what to do either. I don't want to move..but yet I do..I can't really branch out much around here. I don't want to just solely rely on my boyfriend to be my only friend..i want a few close girlfriends..but I can't find that. Ahh..I wish I had some sort of enlightening thing to say..but I don't except..I REALLY REALLY know what you are going through.

Thanks, Jamie :) Just knowing that someone else understands is a huge comfort.

Lately, I've been motivated to examine the quality of my relationships and let's just say that I'm not particularly happy with my findings. I just can't relate to the people around me, especially other young women. Where I live, there is a lot of petty drama about who knows what and I always wish I could block every part of it out. It's a small enough place though, that the drama spreads quickly and it's not difficult to land yourself in the middle of it.

I'm reminded of a quote I recently came across that said, "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people." I have to say that one of my favorite things about Goodreads, and particularly this group, is that people share their thoughts and opinions about several subjects, with open minds. It's refreshing, really, and I'm hard-pressed to find something comparable where I live.

I think it is just part of growing up. When you are little, your best friend is whoever has the toys you like, or the coolest bike on the block, or whatever. During pre-teen through about 14 or so it is whoever looks cooler or is in the best crowd. That is when you start the whole popularity contest. It isn't until you start maturing that you end up wanting more out of friendships.
I had a huge group of what I called "friends" way up until about Junior year. Then it started dropping. I had my friends then I had acquaintences. Now, I have a few best friends then there are others I can hang out with, go to shows or on trips or whatever, but I don't really call them friends, just people I am friendly with.

I know exactly what you guys mean and I agree with Tami.. I have plenty of people to talk to and be friendly with.. but are they all there for me unconditionally? no way. Luckily, I do have a few really good people in my life but sometimes the distance makes me forget it. It makes me depressed, but I feel like it's just something we have to muddle through and it will make us stronger in the end.

I agree with you, Tami.. it's part of growing up. I have different degrees of friends now.. the true friends, where you connect on some level that's more meaningful (sometimes these are friends you see a lot, and sometimes they are the friends you only talk to every once in a while, but it seems like no time has passed), and then there are the people I'm friends with that might be because we have mutual friends, but we relate to each other, so we're more friends than, say, people I just hang out with where we have a friendly relationship. Wow.. that all sounds very confusing, but all I'm trying to say is maybe you're going through the time in your life where your friend relationships are changing, and you'll have fewer really close friends, but they'll mean more.

You'll probably still have the less "deep" friendships, but that's okay too. Unless those are the relationships that are causing you to be surrounded by the petty, negative stuff you don't want to be around.. Maybe it's time to break ties. There's good and bad people everywhere, so I'd only move if you actually want to move, not because you want to get away from certain types of people.

When I first moved back to Orange County I started getting discouraged by all the materialistic, rude, "shallow" people, but there are really great people here. After meeting some of the best people I've ever met I realized I had to choose to create relationships with people I liked and try to ignore (I don't know if that's the right word?) the shitty people.

I feel the same way you do, Jes, about Goodreads :). I'm sorry you're going through this. What I would say is, None of us are perfect friends, but if someone is continually being inconsiderate of you, they are not your friend. Good luck :).. we're here for you..

Wow, I never realized that so many people feel exactly the same way I do. It's so interesting how much easier it is to open up to people on a thread...

I'm so relieved that other people feel the same way, I can't say that enough. I mean, I've really been sitting back and wondering, "Are people right? Do I not give people a chance?" I know that I give everyone a shot and I'm pretty certain now, after reading everyone's comments here, that it's likely that the people around me aren't having the easiest time understanding why it's necessary for me to cut some ties.

And I know what you mean, Lynn. I think part of what makes this whole thing tough on me is that I'm pretty much the last of my friends to move away from home. The people that I got along with the best have all moved considerably far away; far enough that it's not easy to visit them on a whim. One of my really good friends is even relocating to New York tonight and is probably on a plane as I write this.

I think it's the process of moving on to the next stages of life that I struggle with. Several people I know that are my age are engaged, married, having children, buying houses, moving to other countries, establishing careers, etc. I'm nowhere near doing any of that and it's hard because it makes me wonder if I'm on the right track or if I'm on any forward-moving track at all.

Mandee, I almost forgot to say thank you to you as well. I've re-read your comment a few times because your words are so comforting. :)

Jes, I have 3 best friends. The closest lives an hour away. The farthest on the other side of the country. So, I understand about everyone moving so far away. I love to travel, but usually don't have the time or money. Thank goodness for phones and email.

Aww, Thanks Jes! That is so sweet! I was worried I was writing too much :) ..

you are not alone Jes, i mean my friends are living across america, have the best times of their lives, whether its mexico or london. Some too are married and have relationships and others have also built their careers, but i too wonder if i am on the right track, i work long hours and seem to be not getting any where taking part time class, but i think you are on the right path and i do believe that there is something out there for you, it may not be today or tomorrow but something will find you... stay strong

Thank you, Gene! That's very encouraging. :)

I don't know what it is about these types of situations that can make people feel so alone, even though they aren't. I mean, I was really expecting people to say, "Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about." haha

So I kind of skimmed the previous comments, but tonight I decided to go back and read them all thoroughly about the friend issues we're all having (yes, me too). I believe that if someone you used to consider a friend is treating you like crap, is constantly ditching you, or is just really flaky and ruins plans because of it, it's not worth it. It was like that with a high school buddy of mine, Jimmy; he would always cancel plans at the last minute until finally I just said, Enough. I don't have to deal with his shit and I won't. Anyway. I'm at the place where all my friends are scattered now, since we all graduated from college, so I'm having trouble keeping up with everyone. I think the ones I'm not close with will just fade away naturally.