UK Amazon Kindle Forum discussion

Hello.

I'll start plugging all my rubbish later. Promise.

Right now, This is Version 2 of my quest for advice:

I NEED HELP

(not that kind, GL. Well, all right yes, probably.) But right now, I've got only 3 weeks to give my publisher a confirmed title for my fifth book. Options so far:

1) Revenge Of The Satnav

2) The SatNav of Doom

3) Quest For The Sacred Wotsit

4) Tunnels, Trolls & T'Internet

5) Watching The Watches

6) More mindless rubbish from someone wasting his contract..... No, perhaps not that one.

I still like option 2 best. Its the most titelly one.

4 or 5 strike me as most professional.

I've discovered why Vampires are so attracted to teenage girls!

Both are nocturnal.....

Are you going to put one in any of your books? Vampires, that is - you already have a teenage girl...

Easy. Book 3, on release 30 october, is called - wait for it -

The Vampire Mechanic.

Obviously a serious expose of garage working practices.

Hurrah! Welcome back WIll. Both of us can relax now knowing Patti isn't going to have our knackers!

good boy. have a cookie. ;-)

Will wrote: "Easy. Book 3, on release 30 october, is called - wait for it -

The Vampire Mechanic.

Obviously a serious expose of garage working practices."

They suck money instead of blood?

Patti (Free Bird) wrote: "good boy. have a cookie. ;-)"

I like cookies!

Can I have one, please, now I'm a good boy again?

(For a bit, anyway)

Whats your favourite kind of cookie?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaddd cookieeeeeeees

These ones will do for me.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Pepperidge-Fa...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Have you decided on a title yet Will?

Working on it, Patti.

I need something really zingy...

The SatNav of Doom sounds too real for fiction. I hate the bleddy things!

I'm still laughing from the weekend. Someone came here to meet eldest daughter. I live near Swansea. They were coming from Newtown, mid wales. It's 75 miles on a direct main road.

The satnav sent them on a 200 mile odessy by way of Brecon and cardiff and the M4...

I don't drive but I think our SatNav is a snotty bitch. I call her Cordelia. It suits her.

Ignite wrote: "I don't drive but I think our SatNav is a snotty bitch. I call her Cordelia. It suits her."

Isn't Cordelia a character in a play? I'm kind of thinking Shakespeare but not at all sure. .

She's one of King Lear's dreadful offspring.

Weren't they turned into swans?

Will wrote: "I'm still laughing from the weekend. Someone came here to meet eldest daughter. I live near Swansea. They were coming from Newtown, mid wales. It's 75 miles on a direct main road.

The satnav s..."

Ha!

Satnav always sends our limo drivers all round the houses when they collect us in Barry.

We cut about half an hour off the trip when we get in the car and give them proper directions.

My mommy calls hers James. As in 'Home, James'

Do you know that song Patti? I didn't until recently.

Home, James, and don't spare the horses,
Tonight has been ruined for me!
Home James, and don't spare the horses!
I'm ruined as ruined can be!

I think there's a version on youtube. The one I heard, the womean kept pronouncing it 'rooened' - 'twas a scream.

SatNavs have so many possibilities.

Will wrote: "SatNavs have so many possibilities."

My friend in Edinburgh wanted David Tennant's voice for hers. Just think of having The Doctor in your satnav.

Ignite wrote: "Do you know that song Patti? I didn't until recently.

Home, James, and don't spare the horses,
Tonight has been ruined for me!
Home James, and don't spare the horses!
I'm ruined as ruined can be!..."

Yep, that's the song Ignite.

Mom sang it over and over when we gave her her satnav one Christmas.

She's funny.

Gingerlily (or Cyberlily..) wrote: "Will wrote: "SatNavs have so many possibilities."

My friend in Edinburgh wanted David Tennant's voice for hers. Just think of having The Doctor in your satnav."

One of my mates had one with John Cleese's voice.

No wonder he always got lost!

Right! (or was that left?)

Don't start me off.

You can give it a variety of voices. Ours can talk to you in Auzzie. It tells you we'll soon be there and we can throw another shrimp on the barbie! Even the snotty Cordelia is marginally preferable!

Ignite wrote: "You can give it a variety of voices. Ours can talk to you in Auzzie. It tells you we'll soon be there and we can throw another shrimp on the barbie! Even the snotty Cordelia is marginally prefer..."

Especially when you are still 2 hours from the destination, stuck in roadworks.

Reminds me of the Royle Family episode where they go on a caravan holiday.

No flirting with the satnav!

Well the title is now fixed at:

The satNav of Doom.

And book 3, The vampire mechanic, is now available to preorder from the publisher.

Whew!!

(Mind you, he's yelling for th next MSS now.)

I'm glad you're back Will. I've missed you.

And that IS a great title.

Will, I really WILL (see what I did...) get reading your books. I always seem to have something on (Proof reading usually).
I'm saving you for September!

Don't hold back Ignite, you really will enjoy them.

Patti (Free Bird) wrote: "I'm glad you're back Will. I've missed you.

And that IS a great title."

Thanks, Patti.

Breaking the habit of a lifetime, I'll be serious for a moment.

Sorry, that was it. Normal service resumed.

HELP!!!

I'm looking for feedback on the cover for my third book, The Vampire Mechanic, before it's release at the end of october.

It's up on my website,
www.thebannedunderground.com

Any ideas or thoughts very gratefully received

Well I like it Will, it's clean and it obviously has a connection to the story title.

But I'm simple like that :-(

Erm.

Well, I don't like the font at all and where is your name on it?

Can't say the picture does much for me either.

You wanted honesty, right? :)

It reminds men of the Cosgrove Hall pictures of Music with Rocks In!

I like it fine!

I'm with Patti on the font. The Stones would have failed with that font.

I have to confess I'm not enamoured with the picture either, sorry. Doesn't tell me much about the book.

On the subject of satNavs, my next door neighbour has Ozzy Osborne's voice on the his. The funny part is that whilst travelling down a long straight road with no turnings it will suddenly shout "Turn Left", then in a confused voice "Oh no, sorry."

I have the voice turned off on my satNav most of the time and just rely on the direction indicator.

Humm, a divided opinion then...

Will wrote: "Humm, a divided opinion then..."

you're doing art by committee, what do you expect, Renoir?

I like the black and white and the spotlight effect very much, however I would do the dripping blood in red (and use two fangs?).

But yes please choose a better font and turn your name round! Is the Vampire Mechanic the title of the book, and the Banned Underground the series? If so the title should be bigger than the other. Hope there's something useful there Will...

Humm

Thinking.....

Stand well back and always keep a blast wall between you and the philosopher.
Please to not cross the blue and white incident tape

It's true!

My thinking has occasionally been dangerous. To the spectators.