Alan C. Fox's Blog, page 19

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Several days ago, on March 5, 2016, I celebrated my 76th birthday. Actually, I celebrated from March 3rd through March 6th. Why not enjoy a good thing for as many days as possible?

Since my actual birthday was on Saturday, and I was going to be out of the office on Friday, my celebration began on Thursday, March 3rd. My office staff decorated my office with balloons and a banner, we enjoyed a lovely lunch together in our conference room, and at two-thirty in the afternoon an ice cream truck s...

I have always loved this declaration, especially because I thought it was originated by Crazy Horse of the Lakota Sioux whom I admired for living more closely to the land, and to his people, than I do, having grown up in Los Angles, which is, of course, embarrassingly close to the seductive fantasies spun from neighboring (and surrounded) Hollywood. Just gaze up at the sign in the hills of Griffith Park, which originally read “Hollywoodland,” and was erected to advertise a housing development...

I recently met Natasha, a petite fifty-year-old woman, who told me the following story.

“When I was seven or eight years old,” she said,” I ran extremely fast. I often won races, but I was mostly interested in the three-legged race where I ran with a partner and one of my legs was tied to hers.”

“I did that when I was a kid,” I said. “It can sure slow you down.”

“That depends on whether or not you have the right partner.”

“I was pretty slow,” I said, “so I always picked the fastest boy to run...

Years ago I saw a play three times in one week. It was written and directed by my friend David Beaird. I have forgotten the title, but I remember the essence: to solve a difficult and urgent problem use the “Four C’s.

OK. What are the “Four C’s”?

Imagine that you’re flying in an airplane and are lost. If you don’t solve the problem you will die. What do you do?

Gordon, a friend of mine, recently told me this sad, then happy story about his marriage to Louise.

“Alan, I used to walk around feeling like I weighed more than a thousand pounds. Most of that was anger. For some reason I had this crazy idea that if I was super angry for long enough Louise would give me what I wanted. Every time I was upset I would walk around the house with a mad-on for days, or weeks.”

“Yes, I noticed that a few times when I visited you.”

“But Alan, I found that being angr...

Many years ago the surface of my desk was a cluttered mess. I decided to clean it up and, with help, in a day or two my desktop was immaculate. Perhaps I was motivated to take action because my assistant discovered a rather large check buried under the disorder. I needed the cash for my brand-new business to survive and it would have been helpful to have deposited the check when it was received four months earlier.

My desk remained neat for nine months. Every single day before I left my offic...

The foundation of every successful long-term relationship is trust.

Recently I have been negotiating a large business transaction with Jim, a man I met a year ago. When I am not especially happy with the terms that Jim has offered I ask myself if he is taking a “negotiating” position. A negotiating position is one in which a person asks for more than he or she wants. This is a typical business strategy. “Ask for the moon, accept some cheese.” But, with Jim, I don’t feel that I have to be “on...

I learned to swim when I was five, but wasn’t taught any of the finer points of swimming technique. As an undergraduate it was a required that I take a course in swimming. I never considered myself an athlete and the class was difficult for me. Diving off the high board seemed impossible. Whenever we practiced I started at the back of the line and as soon as I neared the rungs of the diving board ladder I’d slip to the back. I never practiced a high dive. Not once.

On the day of the final exa...

Your friends, your children, and your partner in life are not exactly the same as you.

Many years ago I read a book which reported that people from different cultures have different preferences in how far apart to stand when having a conversation. One may prefer to stand three feet from you, a second may favor two feet, and a third may position him or herself close enough to breathe in your face. There is no “right” or “wrong” here, merely a difference. You might remember this when you find y...